


More Than A Dream

by StoryBel



Series: World Beyond Dreams [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Death, Drunkenness, Fantasy, Humor, Minor Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Modern Girl in Thedas, Multi, Really really slow burn, Romance, Slow Burn, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:52:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 48
Words: 271,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5460446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoryBel/pseuds/StoryBel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waking up in chains and not knowing how you got in them is bad. Waking up in chains with a glowing green hand and surrounded by strange people with swords in an alternate fantasy world with no memory of how you even got there is even worse.<br/>Sounds like a bizarre dream doesn't it? But even my imagination couldn't compare to this new reality.<br/>Now I have to learn to survive in a world where half the population are worshiping me as some chosen saviour while the other half wants me dead. It would be easier if I wasn't a total pacifist who can't bring myself to kill a nug let alone a person.<br/>I miss my simple old life. The one where I'm not fighting for my life and watching people die. I miss my home, my family, my dog, the internet.... Chocolate.<br/>But there is no denying there is something captivating about Thedas. Maybe it's the Magic. Maybe it's the different races or creatures. Maybe it's the people I've come to love like family. Maybe it's the dragons!<br/>Or maybe it's the mysterious elf with the stormy blue eyes that I can't seem to stay away from.</p><p>Modern girl in Thedas story with a few twists. Plenty of action, angst and laughs with a real slow burn.<br/>Hope you enjoy :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. More Than A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Readers.  
> Thank you for taking a chance on my story! You may call me StoryBel and this is my first ever time writing and posting a Fanfiction piece so please be kind.  
> I fell in love with the Dragon Age universe and its characters and couldn't get this out of my head so I wrote it down and just kept on writing. Fair warning this is another Modern Girl in Thedas story but it's not a self insert. It mostly follows cannon with a few of my own twists, extras and changes thrown in to make it interesting and to keep you on your toes, I have used a lot of dialogue from the Dragon age games and universe but again have added my own changes where appropriate.  
> I own nothing! All credit goes to the amazing people behind the franchise. I'm just borrowing it for my own amusement and hopefully yours too.  
> I appreciate any helpful comments and suggestions you may have to offer. If you don't like it then don't read it, please don't leave hurtful or rude comments, its not necessary and I'm fragile.  
> Without further delay I hope you enjoy More Than A Dream

## More than a Dream ##

I woke up slowly, with the mother of all headaches. All I felt was pain, dull and thumping around my skull like a wrecking ball. Everything inside my head was loud bells and hammers, everything outside my head was all muffles and fuzzyness.

_Is this what a real hangover is like? God damn!_

I was never going to drink again.

I didn’t even remember going out last night, which was bad. I’d never drunk so much that I couldn’t remember the previous night. The worst I had ever been during a night out was a little dizzy and giggly then I would stop drinking, to afraid I’d make a complete idiot of myself, like everyone else my age seemed to do.

Moving my head a little to the side I groaned _._

 _Ow, that hurt_. _What had I been thinking? So stupid. Didn’t I have work today, or did I? Wait, was it a weekday or the weekend_?

I tried to think but my mind was foggy and slow, trying to remember anything felt like I was wading through molasses.

 _Urgh_.

It was too hard everything was so befuddled, cloudy. It was no use, as much as I wanted to roll over and sleep off this hangover I knew I would have to get up and face the day in order to figure out whether or not I was meant to be doing something important. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

Cracking my eyes open my eyes a little I tried to survey my room through the tangled blonde strands of my too long fringe (I was definitely due for a haircut soon). It took me a few tries, my eyes were feeling heavy and dry. It was dark in the room, too dark actually when I thought about it. The slight electric blue glow caused by the display of my alarm clock was strangely absent, not to mention that light would always find a way to seep through my curtains even in the dead of night, either from distant street lights or the moon and stars. At the moment I could barely make out a few feet in front of me, waiting for my eyes to adjust I started to make out what looked to be stone and wooden beams overhead….. My room didn’t have any exposed beams.

I realised with a sickening start that I wasn’t in my room. What’s more I wasn’t lying on any bed. My body felt stiff and cold like I’d been sleeping on the floor all night and the ground was hard beneath me.

_What was going on? Where the hell was I? If I’d passed out on somebodies floor I think I’d die of shame._

It was too dark to see much of anything from where I was. Making a wary attempt to sit up I groaned, my stiff muscles protesting the movement. Then I noticed something else, my wrists felt heavy, really heavy…. And they clinked when I moved them.

Manacles, thick metal shackles and chains weighed down my movements and tethered me to a solid iron loop pegged in the stone floor beneath me.

……

 _Oh ………Fuck_.

I tried to fight down the sudden fear and dread that was bubbling up from the pit of my stomach.

_Oh god! What was this?_

Every horror movie and creepy campfire story I’d ever bared witness rushed into my thoughts like a hurricane of gore and psychopaths. Fuzziness suddenly forgotten and my aching head and body pushed to the back of my mind as I sat bolt upright and pulled desperately at my restraints. I didn’t know how I’d gotten here or where I was but I had to get out of these chains, nothing good ever came of waking up chained in a dark room.

Ever!

As I pulled at my restraints I felt desperate and fear ridden tears sliding silently down my cheeks. Swallowing back a choked sob and trying to stay as quiet as possible I grasped at the thick metal cuffs only to feel a sharp splitting pain radiating from the palm of my left hand down my forearm to my shoulder. Gasping in shock I looked down to see an eerie emerald green glow emitting from the palm of my hand, as I watched in horror in seemed to spark out and flux with a sharp crackle like an electric current.

I cried out in wordless surprise, trying to inch away from my own hand.

_What was that?! What was happening to me?_

There was a sudden flood of light as a door was swung open, I blinked into the intruding brightness and watched as five men trooped into the room all of them dressed identically in some kind of medieval uniform complete with shrouded mint green hoods and gleaming sections of metal armour plates buckled in place over their chest arms and shins, dull orange sashes around their waists or wrapped across their chest. They circled around me in silence, not acknowledging me as they positioned themselves in formation before drawing long, sharp silver swords from leather sheaths at their hips and pointing them in my direction. Five points of razor sharp steal barely a foot away from my skin glinted maliciously in the light.

_Holy shit!_

They looked very sharp. And very real. I could see faint scratch marks and indentations marring their shiny surfaces. These were no mere wall decorations or props, these had been used.

Like a deer in headlights I sat frozen, unable to move as two more figures came into the room both female this time. One a tall sturdy women with short cropped dark hair and dark eyes, her sun tanned face was all sharp angles, cheek bones and stern looks, marked with a small scar on one cheek and another short scar running down beside her mouth almost reaching her jaw. She was dressed in a shiny set of plate armour over some strange purple and grey leathers, an image of an eye with rays like that of a sun adored her plain and simple breast plate. It was clean but dented and scratched in places. _Well-worn but well kept_ , I thought numbly. She made an imposing figure. Behind her the other women slipped in and seemed to just blend into to background quietly as she circled about the room and lit several touches that adorned the wall, lighting the room with flickering open flames and revealing me to be in a frightening medieval dungeon inspired basement complete with different cells and wooden stocks tucked away in the corner. She was wearing some kind of long grey shift dress woven with chain mail over some loose pants with large purple gloves and a hood that flowed about her head and shoulders, her face was pale and pretty beneath the hood and framed by short strawberry blond hair that just reached past her jaw.

 _Oh crap,_ I’d been kidnapped by the cast of Game of Thrones. Either that or a bunch of out of control LARP’ers.

The dark haired women looked at me with hard eyes and I knew instinctively that this women didn’t like me, though why I had no idea. I wasn’t the kind of person who made enemies, and even if I had been I’d never seen this women before. What possible reason could she have to be looking at me with such a hateful gaze?

She spoke, breaking the silence in a thick heavy accent. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t kill you right here.”

I stared at her in mute shock before blurting out the first thing that came to mind.

“Are you for real? Who actually says stuff like that outside a movie?”

In response she raised an elegant eyebrow and glared at me. I winced and shrunk away as she spoke again her accent unfamiliar but almost Russian sounding. “You are not helping your situation here. I will very much kill you if you do not co-operate.”

And she meant it, I could see that in her eyes she was dead serious. My stomach clenched painfully. _Oh god. What had I gotten messed up in_? Needing answers I decided to try again, just a little more polite.

“Wha- whats going on? Where am I?” I asked, trying to be strong, to sound brave but my voice seemed to waver with every word.

She ignored me.

“You are going to tell us what happened at the Conclave!”

With no clue what she was talking about I attempted to clarify.

“What? I- I don’t know what your-“ I was cut off when she stormed forward angrily. Her face stopping inches from my own.

“Don’t play dumb! The whole temple destroyed in the explosion, thousands dead including our beloved Divine Justinia and you just happen to be they only one to make it out alive.”

“What are you on about? People are d-dead? That’s not funny! Is this some kind joke because it’s not funny at all.” I was starting to get annoyed, this was going too far. If my kidnappers wanted to role play then fine but at least let me in on what was going on.

“This is no joke,” she snarled leaning down enough that I had to lean back as to avoid her head colliding with mine. “You are involved in this somehow and you _will_ give us answers.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about!” I pleaded.

“Then explain this,” she roughly grabbed my shackled left wrist turning my palm upwards so the glowing design on my palm crackled and pulsed painfully. I cried out and tried to pull away but she held tight, her grip as strong as a vice.

“I don’t know what that is! It wasn’t there before.” I gasped out in distress.

“You’re lying!”

“No! I’m not, I don’t know what that is. It was there when I woke up.”

“Enough! Tell me what you know!” she pulled me forward roughly, she was so strong, practically pulling me off the floor with barely any effort. I gaped up at her wordlessly. What more could I say? I honestly had no idea what was going on here.

“Cassandra stop,” the calm lilting voice of the hooded women made us both look up to her as she walked forward to put a restraining hand on the armoured women’s shoulder. “I thinks she’s telling the truth.”

“You can’t be serious, you saw the mark. We know it’s connected to the explosion, the one that killed Justinia! She’s a part of this!”

“Yes but look at her.” They both did, taking in my pathetic pale face and tear streaked cheeks. “She’s clearly terrified and very confused. I don’t believe she is lying, I think she is as desperate for answers as we are.” Cassandra’s anger seemed to wane slightly as she studied me.

“You really don’t know?” she asked suspiciously.

“I don’t even know what it is you seem to think I did! Could someone please explain where I am and why I’m in chains?!” I pleaded earnestly.

“You are our prisoner obviously.”

Refraining from rolling my eyes I asked, “Why? What is it exactly that I’m being accused of?”

“You are implemented in the death of Divine Justinia, among other things.” The withering look Cassandra sent me would have had me whimpering in retreat if I wasn’t so startled by her accusations.

“You- you think I killed someone,” I asked in disbelief.

“Possibly. Maybe not intentionally. We know you are somehow linked with the explosion which destroyed the Conclave. The people are already demanding your head.”

“My head!” I choked. This was insane! I had cried for a week the first time I’d accidently run over a poor rabbit while driving, and here I was being accused of being involved in an explosion.

“We need her Cassandra, she may be the key to fixing all this. Her willingness to help will make things go easier.” The hooded red head pipped in again, the voice of reason.

“Key to what? What’s going on?” I asked looking between the two of them.

Cassandra studied me a moment before sighing in defeat.

“Stand down,” she said gesturing at the armed soldiers still pointing their sharp weapons at me. They obeyed immediately without hesitation, sheathing their swords and stepping back one step. I noticed however every one of them still regarded me cautiously, hands resting on the hilts of their weapons. Like I was dangerous. Me?!

Reaching down the armoured women brought out a key and unlocked the heavy cuffs on my wrists before grasping my upper arm and pulling me up. “It will be easier to show you,” she said standing. “Come, do not try to run. You will regret it.”

Looking back at the five soldiers behind me and the intimidating Amazonian who currently had a firm grip on my arm I didn’t doubt I would regret it if I tried, that was if I didn’t die in the process. My average build and height combined with a severe lack of muscle mass clearly put me at a disadvantage, and that wasn’t including their pointy bits of medieval weaponry. So I went compliantly out of the room, rubbing my sore wrists as we walked.

I let them lead me down a short corridor with slate floors and wooden panelling and up a narrow set of stairs, we exited through a thick wooden door that opened out the side of a large stone building and I found myself suddenly standing out in the open in a large yard.

The first thing I noticed was it was cold, really cold. And white. Having grown up living in a part of Australia that didn’t get such extreme cold weather I’d only ever seen real snow on the tv until now. The whole place was covered in a layer or two of the icy white powder, it blanketed the ground, the trees, the surrounding mountain tops and every single wooden or stone structure in the area. It almost seemed to give of its own white light in the absence of much sun, the sky currently bleak and over cast. I had to catch my breath as I looked around, my surroundings could easily be a replica of a movie set or a medieval renaissance fair only more solid and real. The buildings were all simple wooden structures similar to log cabins of various size and design with the exception of the large grey stone building I’d just left. The people who were milling around all dressed in simple cloth dresses, leather breaches and tunics. The odd green glad solider or armoured guard clanking by. It was incredible, the dedication to their costumes was fantastic. As I was lead forward around to the front of the building I began to notice something else about the people.

Upon our arrival everyone was either watching our small group closely or sending nervous glances up into the sky ahead of us. I followed their gaze and gave an audible gasp.

In the distance, hovering over a nearby mountain range was a swirling green vortex that was reaching up from the dilapidated ruins of a huge stone structure into the broken skies above like a toxic green cyclone. The skies beyond it looked to have literally been split, like a great big tear had been ripped in a section of the sky. The void that had been left was unnaturally dark and teeming with strange green clouds and lights. It was huge and ominous. Just looking at it made my skin crawl and my head feel sore. It was beautiful, powerful and just plain wrong.

“What the hell is that?” I breathed.

“We call it The Breach,” Cassandra explained. “It is a tear in the fabric of the Veil into the Fade. It appeared after the explosion that tore apart the Conclave, killing everyone there for the peace talks. Countless similar but smaller rifts have appeared all over but this is the biggest one, the strongest. It is the source of all this and it’s spreading. Soon it will engulf everything.”

I continued to stare in awe and fear, unable to tear away my gaze while trying to comprehend what I’d been told. I still didn’t understand half of what she was talking about; conclave, Fade, Veil and what peace talks? So many questions but for the moment all I could think of was The Breach, it was daunting.

“I- I still don’t understand. What’s it doing?”

“The Rifts are allowing demons to pass through from the Fade to our world and they are destroying everything they come across. Homes, lands and people.”

“De-demons, like real demons?” I asked in disbelief, trying to stop a hysterical laugh. She couldn’t be serious.

She seemed to take my disbelief for shock. “We are holding them back though only just. We need to find a way to close the Rifts otherwise….I do not want to think about it”

_Oh my god she was serious!_

This women actually believed there were demons attacking, but then from the look of the terrified and nervous faces of the people around us so did everyone else here apparently. Looking around it was easy to see that everyone here was scared and despairing.

But demons weren’t real!

I suppose swirling green vortexes and glowing green hands weren’t real either. And yet here they were. Even so, none of what she was talking about made any sense. Nothing about this made any sense. It just couldn’t be real, none of this should be possible.

_Unless…._

My stomach clenched painfully again. I wasn’t dreaming, I would know if it was a dream. And this all looked very authentic, if it was a hoax it would have been a very, very expensive one. And that swirly green vortex did not look like a projection…. It looked real. Strangely enough it felt real to, like it was emitting waves of discomfort and fear out into the world around it.

“Where am I?” I asked my voice quivering close to tears again, knowing deep down I wasn’t going to like the answer.

“This is Haven.” She said simply like it was a name I should recognise.

“And uh… what country is that in?”

Now she looked at me in confusion. “Ferelden of course.”

I felt like crying. This wasn’t a dream I knew that. And this wasn’t a hoax, she wasn’t acting. But Ferelden was not a name of any country on Earth.

“And what’s this whole place called” I rasped, terrified and desperate.

She looked at me her own confusion over my questions etched across her face. The other women stood watching from behind listening her face impassive.

“What do you mean….?”

“The collective name for all the lands and countries put together, the name of this whole world what is it? Please!” I was barely controlling my panic.

“Thedas … what else could it be?”

And there it was, my answer.

I wasn’t in my own world anymore.


	2. A Whole New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lady I’ve just woken up in an alternate medieval world, I know you probably think I’m crazy or lying but in all honesty what you believe is the least of my worries because I just woke up in a freaking alternate world!”
> 
> After finding out you've she's woken up in an alternate world can anyone really blame a girl for getting a little emotional..... or a little curious?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put up the next chapter sooner than I thought I would, considering the first chapter only went up a short while ago.  
> I thought a bit of story progression might be needed after where I left off.

## A Whole New World ##

_I wasn’t in Australia. Hell I wasn’t even on Earth!_

My knees went weak, only Cassandras firm grip on my arm kept my upright as I swayed.

_Oh god, this couldn’t be real. How did this even happen?!_

“Are you alright?”

_Ha! Funny, she actually sounded a little concerned._

“No, not really,” I replied feeling sick. “I don’t know how this happened but I’m not from here.”

“Clearly, I couldn’t place your accent but your outfit is certainly not Ferelden” she gestured to my clothes and I took note of what I was wearing, my floral print lilac mid-thigh dress, black tights and brown ankle boots with a low heel and oversized grey wool cardigan. I certainly didn't fit the dress code. “I thought it may be some knew Orlesian fashion.”

“That dress is certainly not from Orlais. Maybe Tevinter or Antiva,” pipped in the hooded lady.

More words I couldn’t understand but that was the least of my concerns at present.

“No you don’t understand, I don’t mean this country. I meant everywhere, anywhere in this world. In this ‘Thedas’. I’m not from anywhere here.”

There was a stunned silence before Cassandra spoke, “You can’t be serious.”

“I wish I wasn’t,” I replied shortly feeling sick to my stomach.

“That’s not possible,” said the other women softly.

“You don’t honestly expect us to believe you do you?” Said Cassandra looking annoyed.

I laughed sounding slightly hysteric.

“Lady I’ve just woken up in an alternate medieval world, I know you probably think I’m crazy or lying but in all honesty what you believe is the least of my worries because I just woke up in a freaking alternate world!”

“Considering that your life is currently very much in my hands you should reconsider that.” She said dryly staring me down with dark glittering eyes.

“Then kill me already, and I might wake up to find this was all a dream, a very vivid, realistic crazy dream.” I snapped, frustrated and upset.

_This really couldn’t be happening to me. How was this even happening to me?_

She studied me closer taking in my odd dress and distressed face. “You- you honestly believe this don’t you.”

“I don’t believe, I _know_ it!” I shot back.

“Then prove it,” she scoffed.

I shook my head, lost. “How can I? I don’t think anything I could say will convince you.”

“Maybe we should be the judge of that” The red head women said coming forward, arms crossed across her chest face impassive.

“You’re not seriously considering this preposterous story Leliana?” Cassandra bulked turning to her companion in disbelief.

“It never hurts to get every side of a story possible Cassandra. Let’s hear her out first, her tale may prove interesting,” I got the impression that even though she was advocating on my behalf this Leliana was no more on my side than Cassandra, she was just very good at hiding it. There was a cold detachment in her sweet face that made me wary.

“Who are you?” she asked, “And where is it exactly you believe you’re from.”

Where _I believe_ I’m from? So she thought I was crazy too but what choice did I have but to tell my side.

“My name is Evelyn Treval. I live in Melbourne Australia, southern hemisphere of the planet Earth, 3rd planet away from the sun in the Milkyway galaxy or something like that. It’s a very different place from here. Where I come from we have cars and technology, mobile phones and the internet. The whole medieval swords and horses thing is ancient history and demons don’t exist, neither do great big green holes in the sky. Nobody uses swords and shields unless they’re playing pretend, that stuff became kind of obsolete when someone invented gun powder and pistols…. and then Guns and missiles and stuff and…..” I looked at each of their blank faces “…. And you have no idea what I’m talking about do you?” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. “I don’t know what else to say here.”

“How about telling us how you got here then or how you got that mark.” Challenged Cassandra, arms folded across her chest.

“I…. I don’t know” I replied dumbly.

“You don’t know?” She sneered.

“I just sort of woke up here, and I was in chains and my hand was glowing. Everything before that is all fuzzy and blank. I can’t remember.” I said miserably.

Cassandra scoffed again, “How convenient for you.”

“Not really,” I shot back quietly, my lack of memory felt very inconvenient right now.

“What do you remember?” Asked Leliana.

I though back really hard, trying to piece together my last memories “I was going to bed like normal…. I think… but I remember getting back up and getting changed, which is weird really. I remember being in a hurry and being annoyed about something then….. I don’t know. There was a lot of green and something was chasing me, a lot of somethings I think….. There was a women she glowed…” shaking my head to clear it I sighed in frustration. “I’m sorry I don’t know. It all seems like a bizarre dream.”

“She’s mad, Fade touched or something.” Cassandra said exasperated.

“Whether she’s mad or not I we still need her. We are wasting time now, let’s see if we can use her for the time being, everything else can wait until we’ve closed The Breach and she is our best chance of doing that.” reasoned Leliana

“How? What have I got to do with this hole in the sky?” I interjected.

“We don’t know exactly, but our expert believes that mark of yours is the key to closing The Breach,” Leliana explained ambiguously.

“You mean this thing on my hand?”

“Yes they are linked somehow,” interjected Cassandra. “The Breach is growing, and every time it expands so does your mark.”

“That’s a very vague assumption.” I pointed out.

“Yes but at the moment it is all we have. Every time it expands there are more Rifts appearing and more demons. We lose more people, more good men and women.” Cassandra looked almost torn, not wanting to accept that the crazy prisoner could help but not wanting to see more of her soldiers fall. I felt for her. She was harsh but I got the impression she was trying to do the right thing here.

“You really think I can help stop this?” I spoke up timidly.

Leliana looked me right in the eye, “You’re our last chance.”

Meaning no, but we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for the last of our options.

I was in well over my head, between a rock and a hard place, I wanted to run away and hide until I could figure this all out. I didn’t think I could do anything useful. I mean I was no one, nothing special…. but people were dying and they thought I could help. I didn’t like the idea of people dying if I could do something to aid them.

I pulled myself together, resolved “I don’t know what I can do, but I’m willing to help if I can.”

“Really?” Cassandra cocked a suspicious eyebrow at me. “Just like that.”

I flushed red in anger.

“Look I know you don’t trust me you’ve made that perfectly clear. I get it ok, I’m strange and suspicious and quite frankly everything that’s going on right now terrifies the living daylights out of me. I’m not some hero or warrior or whatever it is you people are but you said people are dying. I’d like to think that I’m a somewhat decent person. If I can help save innocent people then I’ll do it…. even if I don’t know how.”

The two women exchanged a glance before Cassandra sighed running her hand over her face.

“I’ll take her up the north road to the forward camp, see if she can be of use. We'll meet you there.”

Leliana nodded, “Good luck.” And then she and the guards walked away leaving me with the intimidating she-knight.

“This way, stay close.” She barely even looked at me as she spoke before dragging me alone with her.

I followed close at her heals shivering, my cardigan and leggings not giving me much protection from the elements. I wasn’t dressed for snowy hikes. She led me towards the outskirts of the small town, weaving in and out of buildings and the canvas tents which seemingly housed more of the green clad soldiers. Everyone watched us as we went by, various degrees of hatred and fear on their faces and many rude and horrible names on their lips. I shrunk away refusing to meet any of their gazes, feeling miserable. I’d never felt so hated and ostracized in my life. The way they all glared at me, they detested me for something I hadn’t done, or at least I didn’t think I’d done.

“They have already decided your guilt. They needed to, we were on the verge of peace. Then with the death of our Most Holy…. they, we need someone to be responsible,” Cassandra spoke up noting my discomfort.

I nodded mutely, I was a scape goat. I could understand that. It was human nature, it was what these people needed when their whole world was falling apart, someone to blame. “She must have been very important to you all. I know you probably don’t want to hear this from me, but I’m sorry for your loss.”

Cassandras mouth tightened and she gave me a curt nod. Nothing more. We reached a wide stone and brick bridge that spanned a narrow chasm, with a large arch and heavy set of wooden doors on either end. As we crossed Cassandra rummaged through a nearby open crate and brought out a long worn leather coat.

“Here,” she said thrusting the sturdy garment into my arms. “It should protect you from the cold, and some of the trouble we are likely to face.”

“You’re expecting trouble,” I asked apprehensively as we walked by a cluster of soldiers kneeling before a red and white robed man reciting what seemed to be some kind of prayer.

“We need to try out your mark on one of the smaller Rifts, there will be demons.”

“You know I can’t fight don’t you?” I asked nervously, the prospect of wrestling with another person let alone these demons was daunting. Combat wise my experience was less than minimum, I knew a little self-defence tricks but that was about it… and even that mainly revolved around screaming for help and running away after a well-aimed kick.

“I don’t expect you to fight, I am here to make sure no harm comes to you.”

“But you don’t even like me,” I blurted out.

She frowned, “You are my prisoner, my responsibility and you could be our only solution to this catastrophe. Don’t worry I will not let you be harmed.”

It was little comfort to hear that. Even so I pulled on the coat, it was the colour of caramel toffee, heavy but worn and supple, coming to a stop flapping about my shins, the sleeves fell slightly too long so I could easily hide my hands inside. It was lined in a soft almost velvet like material and smelt like leather and something oily and dusty but I did feel instantly more protected against the chill air. Cassandra called for the gate to be opened and we passed on through.

The road ahead was a disaster, blackened areas and craters littered the road and countryside, flaming carriages and carts lay discarded on the sides of the road. And there were bodies, lots of bodies, lying in pools of blood, scorched or dismembered. Not all of them were soldiers either, I could see the remnants of dresses or farmers clothes amongst several of the corpses. Just lying there, so very still. A group of soldiers ran by as we passed, I heard one of them wailing about it being the end of the world. I couldn’t fault him for thinking it. This was dreadful.

I choked back a sob at the sight, “Those poor people,” I breathed out heart broken and horrified.

“They fought bravely and when this is over they will be mourned, but for now our efforts are needed elsewhere. We best hurry.” She continued forward at a brisk pace. And I trailed along behind trying not to look at the fallen. They were beyond my help.

“Cassandra,” I asked quietly, uncertain. “Can I ask you how I ended up as your prisoner?”

She regarded me warily and for a moment I didn’t think she would answer me, then she spoke. “Our soldiers found you when they first went to scout the remains of the Temple of Sacred Ashes where we were holding the Conclave. They say you appeared out of the Fade and collapsed, there was a women standing behind you in the Fade. Nobody knows who she was. That was two days ago, we have been waiting for you to wake up since then.”

Two days? And I was still wearing the same clothes I would have arrived in. Best not reflect too much about that one, besides I had more pressing questions on my mind.

“Everyone keeps mentioning the Fade, what is it exactly?”

“It is the Fade,” she said simply though on seeing my confused face Cassandra began to elaborate a little. “It is the place we go in our dreams and where demons and spirits live. No mortal has physically entered the Fade and lived for thousands of years. That you just fell out of it is simply unheard of.”

“Physically? What other ways can a person go somewhere if not physically?” I pondered out loud.

“You are asking a lot of questions,” she was beginning to sound exasperated like a teacher explaining morals to an overly enthusiastic child.

“This place, it’s a lot to take in. I’m just trying to understand what I’ve gotten involved in,” I defended.

“Well ask something else, the Fade is not my area of expertise.”

“Ok then,” I started eagerly. “You mentioned peace talks before, were your people already at war with someone?”

“My people? No but the country is in turmoil. The Mages have rebelled and the Templars fight to destroy them. The peace talks were our chance to resolve things without further bloodshed.”

“Wait! Mages, as in magic and spells and Gandalf and stuff?” I asked in disbelief.

“Of course, is there another kind? Though I don’t know what you mean by a _Gandalf_ ,” she replied, puzzled.

“For real, I mean real magic!?”

She raised an elegant eyebrow at me. “You don’t have magic where you’re from I take it.”

“No, just tricks and illusions, smoke and mirrors stuff. Real magic only exist in stories.”

“You almost sound wistful.” She stated in disgust.

I smiled, “I always liked the stories with magic in them, the ones so different from real life. So much adventure compared to my life. Though admittedly I’d never thought I’d end up in one.”

“This isn’t a story!” She snapped, eyes flashing angrily. “This is real, the people dying are real and you are here in the middle of the end of everything we hold dear.”

“I know that!” I retorted back, my face flushing red with shame and embarrassment. “I was just trying to explain ….. aaargh!”

I was cut off by my own cry of agony as a sudden crack emitting from The Breach ahead of us in the sky echoed from my palm, radiating intense cold pain as the mark pulsed and spread further down my wrist and forearm, like angry emerald cracks under my skin.

It hurt, it really hurt. Like my arm was splitting into pieces. I cried out in a painful gasp as the sudden and overwhelming pain brought me to my knees in the snow, cradling my hand to my chest and waiting for the episode to pass.

Cassandra was quickly at my side her hand on my shoulder and a look of concern on her face. I stared back at her in shock.

“What was that?!” I gasped when I could finally draw breath. The green lines fading under my skin, retracting back to my palm.

“Every time the Breach expands so does your mark,” she seemed to hesitate a moment before she added softly. “And it’s killing you.”

_This thing…. Was killing me?!_

“It’s… how? Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?!” I demanded, voice wavering. I didn’t want to die!

“Would knowing have changed anything?”

“No, not really,” I admitted. I’d have still been in the same situation I was currently in I suppose but still wasn’t happy. “But I have a right to know if I’m dying!”

She sighed, “I suppose you do, I apologise I wasn’t trying to keep it from you. Come we must hurry the expansions are coming more frequently.”

Meaning I was losing time and her possible solution was getting closer to dropping dead. She helped me to my feet and I obediently followed as she led us further down the road. After a while we came across another sturdy stone bridge, this one slightly smaller and without the gates, it spanned across and the wide banks of a really frozen river. On the other side a handful of soldiers held up a small stockade comprised of sharpened pointy logs. Armed and ready for any demon attacks I supposed.

“It’s not too far now,” said Cassandra. “We just-“

She was cut off suddenly when the Breach crackled again this time what seemed like several large flaming green meteors spewing from its depths and hurtling rapidly in all directions. One coming straight towards us. It was to quick, before we could even turn and run the ball of green flame struck the centre of the bridge with an almighty crash. The stones beneath us seemed to rise a little before falling away completely as the bridge appeared to shatter in all directions sending soldiers flying and Cassandra and I plummeting to the frozen river below along with a tone of rumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's turning out to be a long winded introduction, sorry. It seems I can't do short and sweet. The words just keep getting ahead of me and suddenly what was intended to be one chapter ends up being three or four.  
> I still hope you enjoy.


	3. A Big Stick For The Baddies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Alright? I was so far from alright. What the hell was I thinking? That thing had almost killed me._
> 
> Confronted by something out of a nightmare how will Evie cope?  
> Time for a little action ladies and gentlemen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, people have actually read this, my story. I'm torn between being proud and terrified!  
> Thank you to the people who've liked this :) you made my day.  
> Changing the pace with plenty of action this chapter. Hope you enjoy impossible swashbuckling.

## A Big Stick for the Baddies ##

I fell, tumbling and twisting. Bouncing against the stone and debris before coming to a jarring stop on the thick layer of ice that was the river surface. Groaning as my body protested loudly at its mistreatment and the world continued to spin slightly.

_Ow…..Was I just blown up? It was really not my day._

As I propped myself up I noticed Cassandra was already on her feet, with her sword drawn and a sturdy shield which had previously been strapped securely to her back at the ready. She wasn’t looking at me but ahead where in the middle of the frozen lake a thick billow of green smoke was swirling above the icy surface and from which a dark figure was rising.

I stared on horrified as it emerge from nowhere to stand, humanoid in shape like that of a stooped old women but taller, taller than Cassandra even when hunched over. It seemed to be shrouded in a muddy brown cloak that was torn and patchy, held together with the odd leather strap or buckle and revealing patches of grey dead flesh beneath as the material dragged along the ground behind the creature. From beneath its hooded shroud the only thing visible were a set of bizarre spikes protruding through the material on its back and its long gnarled, mottled hands that ended in a wicked set of black talons that dripped with some kind of dark mucus. It stood, reared back its head and let out and ear piercing, wail that spoke of horrors beyond imagining. Like nails on a chalk board and slithers of glass it shrieked.

I sat frozen in terrified horror as Cassandra stalked forward, weapons at the ready.

“Stay back, I will deal with it.” She declared steadily.

The thing lunged moving forward in almost snake like lurching movements with the speed of an angry dog, raising its claws and slashing viciously. Cassandra calmly caught the blow, deflecting it with her shield and returned with a slash of her own. The creature crying out wordlessly but continued its attack. I watched on in shock and awe, shocked that such a monstrosity was possible and in awe of Cassandras abilities and that she could even hold her own against such a creature.

That was until I noticed a second green fog developing between Cassandra and me, with a second creature appearing from the mist to slowly glide towards Cassandras turned back as the first creature kept her attention.

“Cassandra! Behind you!” I called desperately as I stumbled shakily to my feet. But she didn’t seem to hear me over the sound of her steel and the clash of her shield. She was too far away to hear me. That thing was getting closer its claws ready. It was going to kill her.

Looking around in a panic for a weapon of some sort I grabbed the nearest thing within arm’s length and ran forward, sliding a little on the ice as I advanced on the second creature.

“Hey Ugly!” I yelled when I got within range.

It turned and I struck. Lifting my weapon high above my head, the smooth sturdy wood comfortable beneath my fingers, the large metal head on the end reflecting the eerie green light of the Breach above. The creature was still in the process of facing me when I brought it down over its head with as much force as I could manage. It struck with a meaty thunk that would have sent a human sprawling, unfortunately all I managed to do was stagger it for a moment before it faced me with an awful rumbling growl.

“Oh shit,” I whimpered.

Taking a step back I raised my weapon between us, now spread between two hands like a balancing pole.

It shrieked and lunged at me, I screamed and raised my weapon to block a brutal swipe to my chest by those talons. It worked and I use the momentum to sweep the creature to the side and dance back another step. While it was straightening itself I had the chance to hit it again this time landing a blow to its shoulder. It didn’t even seem to feel that one. Frowning I internally berated myself for such a weak hit, I needed to hit harder than that if I was going to stay alive. Whirling around again it charged at me and I made a few desperate swings of my weapon to keep it at bay with no use, the creature battering my strikes away without a seconds thought. My legs came out from under me as I slipped on the ice, falling backwards as it advanced, crying out in alarm before the breath was knocked out of my lungs. And then it was on me. I still had the presence of mind to raise my weapon across my body again to catch another blow from the monster, its claws an inch from my throat as it push down on me. The way it leaned over me gave me an unveiled view of its face which had been hidden by its hood, it was dark and shadowy but my eyes saw enough. Dead mottled skin, eyeless, large gaping circular mouthful of razors. It shrieked again. I screamed and closed my eyes in terror, my strength not enough to keep it off me.

_I’m going to die!_

Then it let out a garbled cry and its weight upon me slackened, I braved a look to find the thing disintegrating around me, a shining bit of steel protruding from what remained of its chest, just inches from piercing my own. With a start I scuttled back on my hands and backside to watch the creature flake and dissolve into smoke and ash, Cassandra standing above it withdrew her sword and with a flick of her wrist re-sheathed it at her waist before looking at me.

“Are you alright?”

I shook my head, wordless and shaking where I sat on the ice.

_Alright? I was so far from alright. What the hell was I thinking? That thing had almost killed me._

That horrible, monstrous thing.

“What was that?” I croaked barely registering that Cassandra was crouching down next to me, giving me a once over, checking to see if I was alright.

“That was a demon,” she explained evenly.

“Demon, right demon.” I shuddered. Feeling her hands grasp both my shoulders I looked up into her face, feeling silent tears run down my checks unchecked _._

_Shit! Why did I always seem to cry when frightened or angry? I must look so pathetic._

“That was either the most reckless thing I’ve seen or the bravest. What in the Makers name were you thinking?” she chastised.

“It was going to kill you,” I replied numbly, feeling stupid and scared.

“You could have run, escaped. Instead you decide to take on a demon with no combat experience of your own!”

I looked down wringing my hands together, feeling like a reprimanded child. “I thought it was going to kill you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I ran.”

There was an awkward silence between us for a long moment until Cassandra broke it.

“Thank you” she said softly squeezing my shoulder gently. “Just so you know, I was well aware of the second Shade. I was at no risk of it killing me.”

“Oh,” I stared dumbly up at her feeling a complete moron. Of course the warrior women had it under control. I felt my face heat up. “Sorry, I thought you were… yeah. I’m an idiot.”

I was shocked to see her lips twitch into some semblance of a smile.

“I think I may have misjudged you earlier, for that I apologise,” she said almost warmly.

I looked up again shocked. “You believe me?”

“I do not believe you to be a killer or that you have any malicious intent, but that does not mean you aren’t unintentionally involved.” She clarified before helping me to my feet. “After all this is over I can promise you a fair trial, beyond that however is out of my hands.”

I swiped my hand across my cheeks and pulled myself together, giving my captor a watery smile. “Thank you.” It really was more than I could hope for after all.

“Hmmm, where did you get that?” She pointed to my weapon which was lying on the ground beside where I had sat.

“Oh, it must have been on the bridge before it blew up, I just grabbed it out of the rubble. It was the closest thing nearby I could get.”

“You realise this is a Mages Staff,” she said plucking it off the ground. “Without any magic ability it’s little more than a glorified stick.”

I frowned looking at it closely for the first time. It was long, standing upright it was almost as tall as me. Made of polished smooth creamy wood it had a small metal cap at its foot and a solid metal silver sphere at its head, the sphere was about the size of a child’s ball and had been engraved with swirling designed on its surface.

I shrugged “It served its purpose well enough without any magic. It was a big stick and I used it to hit the bad guy.”

Cassandra snorted, “It’s probably safer for you than a blade at any rate.” I was startled when the warrior handed it back to me. “Take it, I cannot protect you from everything it seems and you should have something to defend yourself with. Even if it is just a big stick.”

I took it and gave her a small smile, “Thank you, I still don’t think I’ll be much help but….” I hefted the staff into my hands. “At least you trust me with it.”

She chuckled softly, a hard glint to her dark eyes. “Even if I did think you would attack me with that you would be no competition for me.”

I laughed “I don’t doubt that, still thanks.”

“We should keep moving,” she said leading the way off the frozen river.

Again I followed. We search briefly for the soldiers who had been manning the block-aid only to find the bodies of two partially buried in the bridges remains and another having bleed out on the ice from shrapnel wounds. Cassandra sighed sadly and did what she could to leave them in a dignified way before bending her head over each of them and saying a quick prayer of “May the Maker watch over you.” I kept my distance, not wanting to intrude and not knowing what to say. These were likely her comrades after all.

We continued forward trudging through the snow towards the ever present Breach in the sky, occasionally coming across more demons which Cassandra promptly disposed of. For the most part I stood back and played look out only jumping forward occasionally to play decoy when Cassandra ended up in a tight spot. Which wasn’t often. The lady could fight, she wasn’t elegant or showy in her moves or techniques, Cassandra was straight to the point, quick decisive and blows, well aimed and timed to perfection. Brutally efficient. I was in awe.

So far the demons only seemed to take one of two forms, either that of the shrouded hunched creatures Cassandra had told me was a Shade demon, or that of a ghostly green spectre that seemed to be the floating upper half of a skeletal being, these were much quicker than the Shade demons, preferring to dart away and throw ghostly green balls of flame at a distance. But when caught up with they were much easier to take out. Cassandra called them Wraiths.

After a time we came upon a ridge up ahead and the sound of a fierce battle beyond that, I could make out an eerie green glow just out of my field of vision this one closer than that of the Breach, shinier like light glinting off a gem stone. The mark on my hand twinged painfully.

“A Rift up ahead,” called Cassandra drawing out her sword again. “They are holding the demons back. We must help them.”

“Who’s they?” I gasped behind her as she began to run the rest of the way, not even slightly out of breath. I on the other hand was huffing like I was having an asthmatic episode.

_Why did I never use that gym membership?_

“You’ll see.” She replied dashing forward and dropping down out of sight beyond the ridge.

I cursed softly and followed after her.

There was a lot of demons, more than a dozen milling about the remains of another wood and stone structure that could have been anything from a stable or home to a chapel before it had been blown to smithereens’ only two of its walls still standing. A mix of both Shades and Wraith demons swarmed the area screeching and clawing and above them hovering suspended in the air at least two stories high was a cluster of huge glowing shards of dark green crystal that shifted and changed shape while it crackled and spat out tendrils of green energy. Where the tendrils struck the ground a green mist would form and from that another demon would slowly emerge. My palm pulsed painfully and the mark began to glow brighter. So this was a Rift. As I stared at the sight before me Cassandra just dove right on in without a seconds thought, slicing her way through demons with ease.

And she thought I was mad!

I jumped down after her, granted a lot more clumsily with my staff clutched tightly in my hands as I surveyed the battle zone. Between the swarming demons and flashes of green Rift light I could make out the figures of two more people apart from myself and Cassandra darting to and fro engaging the monsters.

I stood back from the more aggressive fights knowing I would be more of a hindrance than a help. Instead I snuck quietly around the out skirts to target a small Wraith demon that was throwing balls of energy at one of the other persons who appeared to be aiming and shooting demons with a very large and bulky contraption. The demon was so focussed on its target it didn’t even notice me sneaking up to clobber it from behind. It crumpled with a sudden shriek when I brought my staff down on its head, then followed through with another blow to the back of its ghostly neck. I was stunned when it began to dissolve and flake away. I’d killed it.

I gave a small squeal of joy and a victory dance. I had killed one! All by myself.

A furious snarl brought me back to the present when a Shade demon came out of nowhere with a nasty slash at my ribs. I swore as I jumped back out of range and readied my staff in front of me. Determined not to fall over this time, my small victory making me feel brave.

Until it shrieked again and I caught a glimpse of its face under the hood, that horrible eyeless rotting face. I could almost feel the blood draining from my face as my hands began to shake.

_No, not again,_ I told myself firmly _. Get a hold of yourself! Stop being a coward. Don’t let it win._

I forced myself not to freeze up and planted my feet in the ground with grim determination.

“Bring it on ugly.” I hissed tightening my grip not feeling as brave as I sounded but saying something cheesy made me feel that little bit more in control. Mostly because it proved was able to speak without screaming or sobbing in fear.

It lunged and I skipped to the side and instead of clobbering it I turned the staff in my hands to thrust the sphered end of the stick under its hood hard, like I was trying to poke a hole through its rotting skull. It staggered back clutching its face with a scream of pure hatred and advance on me quicker slicing at me with both sets of talons forcing me to back up with each swing until I felt the cold stone of a ruined wall behind my back. Its hunched shoulders seemed to heave and it let out a guttural rumble. I realised in disgust it was laughing at me, having literally backed me into a corner.

_Oh crap_ , it had played me to right where it wanted. I had nowhere to go.

It raised its claws and I prepared to block knowing it wasn’t going to be of much use when suddenly it stiffened and groaned. I watched mesmerized as its chest began to change, turning white and glassy, turning into ice! It creeped and expanded across its torso creaking and cracking as it did until the ice had consume the entire creature. Turning it into its own ice sculpture. Not wanting to miss my only chance of escape I ducked beneath it’s out stretched talons and ran behind it. Raising my staff and swinging it hard like a baseball bat I put my entire body behind the swing yelling out as I did. It shattered on impact, my arms jarring painfully with the force of the blow. I stood panting in the messy ruins of the demon popsicle turning back to watch as the others finished off the last of the creatures.

The stocky man I’d tried to help out earlier calmly shot and disintegrated a Wraith demon over Cassandras shoulder while the other a tall slight, bald man was swinging a staff around with a lot more grace and precision than I had, balls of icy energy being flung from the tip of his staff at the remaining Shade demon.

He was using magic I realised in awe, a Mage.

When the demon finally fell to a finishing blow from Cassandras sword the bald man rushed my way taking hold of my left wrist and pulling me forwards toward the Rift that was still present above us.

“Hurry!” he said his voice urgent. “We must close it before more come through.”

And with that he thrust my hand upwards, the mark on may palm pulsing painfully before a shaft of green light erupted from the mark linking me to the Rift. My whole arm felt like it was being consumed by a cold fire, I bit my lip to prevent from screaming out in pain. It lasted all for a few moments while the Rift seemed to screech and writhe like a creature in agony, then with a final crackle and pulse from the Rift it collapsed in on itself before disappearing entirely.

“Whoa…” I breathed out softly.

The Rift had been closed. I really was their only hope.

…….

_These people were so screwed._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the next few chapters need some tweaking but should be up in the next few days.  
> Drop a Kudos if you enjoyed so I can know I'm on the right track.  
> Thank you for reading.


	4. Elves and Dwarfs and Demons, Oh Shit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wow, I mean I’m sorry, but uh…. are you sure those aren’t fake ears.” I was babbling and had the strangest urge to touch his ears and find out for myself if the were silicon.
> 
> Evie gets a little Fangirl as she meets some people out of myth and legend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, seems these chapters didn't take as long as I thought to fix up.  
> I'm hoping to get the next few out today or tomorrow. If I can get them over and done then we can move on past the introduction stuff and move on to Haven.  
> Again thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy.

## Elves and Dwarfs and Demons, Oh Shit ##

In the stunned aftermath of the small battle we stood for a moment staring up at the place the Rift had been. Then coming to my senses I jerked my wrist out of the bald man’s grasp and pulled it to my chest defensively taking half a step back. He let me go easily and regarded me curiously.

“What- What did you do?” I asked, unsure of what had just happened and how.

“I did nothing,” He said smiling softly leaning slightly into his staff. “The credit here is all yours.”

“Me? I didn’t…. I don’t understand what just happened,” I replied baffled.

“Your mark, was created during the explosion by the same power that opened The Breach and caused the Rifts. I have studied it and its connection and theorised your mark could potentially close them.” He replied almost cheerily. “And it seems I was correct.”

I lifted my hand and looked at the glowing green scar on my pale skin. “Well at least I’m useful for something… or this is at any rate.”

“It appears you hold the key to our salvation,” the slender man continued, still smiling pleasantly.

_Great,_ I thought bitterly. _No pressure or anything._

“Well, that’s good news. Here I was thinking we’d be ass deep in demons forever,” said a gruff teasing voice from beside me. Turning I found myself looking down at the other stranger from the fight. He was short and stocky, the top of his sunny blonde almost ginger head coming up to just under collarbone level on me, his broad chest covered in a velvet red shirt embroidered with gold and open at the top to reveal a generous amount of golden chest hair. His arms and neck were both thick with muscle and his short legs looked just as solid. He was smiling broadly as he walked forward an eager gleam in his light hazel eyes. His hair was tied back into a short stub of a pony tail and I could see the shine of a few golden hoops pierced in his ears. I found myself smiling back without thought.

“Varric Tethras at your service,” he said with a small teasing bow, “Charming rouge, merchant, story teller and occasional unwanted tag along.” He shot a wink towards Cassandra to which she rolled her eyes in disgust, clearly not amused.

“Nice to meet you.” I replied, manors kicking in despite my over whelming confusion on what had just occurred.

The bald man laughed quietly on my other side, “You may rethink that stance in the future.”

“Aww I’m sure we’ll be firm friends by the time where through the valley Chuckles,” Varric retorted cheery smile still in place, no offense having been taken.

“Out of the question!” Cassandra interrupted firmly. “I appreciate the help Varric but you are not coming with us.”

“Have you been in the valley lately Seeker, your men aren’t in control anymore. It’s overrun with demons. You need all the help you can get, including me.” The short man said to Cassandra, seemingly unfazed.

Cassandra shook her head but obviously sensing a losing battle walked away a short ways to survey the surrounding area. The bald man walked forward again getting my attention. I watched him warily. Still edgy post his sudden unexpected use of the mark on my hand earlier.

“I am Solas, if there are to be introductions,” he said gently obviously sensing my distrust. I realised with a start that I had misjudged his build and age earlier, his bald head and slight build making him seem at first a lot older and frailer. He was more lean than slight, his build was like that of a professional runner or gymnast under a long woven cream tunic with a high collar, thick rough green vest and faded green leather breaches. Strangely enough the man wasn’t wearing any shoes, the ends of his bare feet resting comfortable in the snow with no visible signs they were being effected by the cold. His face was narrow with fine and angled bone structure but not a wrinkle could be seen, his eyes a clear crystalline blue seemed to dance with a knowing look. His voice was smooth and calm as he spoke, “I’m pleased to see you are finally awake.”

“What he means is ‘I stopped that mark from killing you while you slept,’” interjected Varric while he cleaned the very large sturdy crossbow he carried with a corner of his shirt.

“Oh,” I looked at the smiling man in front of me, Solas. _He’d been stopping this thing from killing me?_

“Thank you, for that.” I said awkwardly, wondering why he would bother to try and save me when most people here were wanting to kill me for crimes against humanity.

“You are most welcome,” he said with an approving smile and then I noticed something else about him.

“Your- “ I trailed off red faced and wide eyed. _Oh my, I was going to start sounding like a fan girl_. His ears…

“Solas is an Apostate, he came to us willingly to offer his aid when The Breach occurred,” Cassandra said coming back to the small group. “He has been invaluable asset.”

“Technically all mages are apostates now Cassandra,” Solas seemed to frown a little with disappointment when he looked my way noticing where I was staring. “I hope that doesn’t bother you, however I am both a mage and an elf.” He said almost coldly.

“What -no, no not at all, it’s just. Um, you’re really an elf?” I asked stunned.

“I am,” Solas now was looking at me in confusion.

“Wow, I mean I’m sorry, but uh…. are you sure those aren’t fake ears.” I was babbling and had the strangest urge to touch his ears and find out for myself if the were silicon.

“Fake… why would they be fake?” he asked quizzically his velvety even voice taking on a puzzled tone as his long finger came up to self-consciously touch the pointed tips of the appendage in question.

“Sorry it’s just, we don’t have elves where I’m from. I’ve never met one before… um… Wow… Sorry.” I said again crimson faced and embarrassed but unable to stop myself from getting a little star struck. It’s not every day you come face to face with another species from a fairy tale. Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had been one of my first major movie crushes.

“And where might that be, I was sure elves are present all over Thedas in some way or another?” Varric chimed in curiously.

“Umm….” I looked over at Cassandra uneasily, I’d only just got her to kind of like me I didn’t want to ruin it by bringing up my other worldliness again.

She sighed darkly and spoke for me. “She claims to be from another world beyond Thedas. One where there is no magic or demons. She has been surprisingly steadfast in her story.”

Varric looked at me in shock, “You’re not serious! That’s insane.” I glared down at my hands in discomfiture and irritation. It seemed I was doomed to be a mad outcast, the thought of being so alone was both infuriating and terrifying. I could feel the angry tears burning in the corner of my eyes.

_Shit. This was so unfair_.

“Not necessarily,” Solas cool voice brought my gaze to him with a snap to find him looking me over steadily. “Tales of worlds other than our own aren’t unheard of. Isn’t that what the Fade is to us after all? A different dimension alongside our own to which we can interact. We know it exists, is it such a stretch that others do too?”

A flicker of hope started in my chest as Solas eyes met mine, maybe there was a chance that someone would believe me. Maybe I had found an ally.

“What are you trying to say Solas? That what she says is true?” Cassandra asked in disbelief.

“Only that it is possible. During my travels I have heard whispers of other worlds very different from our own. Only a fool would disregard her claim so easily given the strange circumstances of her arrival.”

“Well damn, this day just keeps getting weirder,” Varric said rubbing the back of his neck. He turned to me looking rueful. “Sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel bad honey, but you’ve got to admit it’s a pretty bizarre story.”

I gave him a small watery smile, “Its ok. If I were in your position I’d probably feel the same way. But it’s true, I can’t explain it but it is. I’m just as confused by all this as you are.”

“If what you’re claiming is true…. Then shit, you must be scared witless right now!” Varric exclaimed.

I laughed, it came out half a sob. “Yeah, yeah that pretty much sums me up right about now.”

Varric smiled warmly at me and I fought back tears of relief. Maybe more than one ally. “What’s your name Sunshine?”

“Evelyn Treval, my friends usually just call me Evie though.” For the first time I was thankful my parents had given me such an old fashioned name, one that wouldn’t seems so strange here.

“Nice to meet you Evie.” The short man said grinning.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but we really need to get moving,” Cassandra spoke up. “We know that she can close the Rifts now, we should move on to The Breach before it’s too late to close.”

“Agreed,” said Solas. “We can learn more about our new friend when we know we are all safe.”

Both Cassandra and Solas moved forward leading the way down a narrow path at the side of the cliff. With an unconcerned shrug Varric trudged along after them.

“Well at least Bianca’s excited,” his said, hefting the heavy crossbow on his shoulder.

“You named your crossbow Bianca?” I asked amused as I following behind him.

“Yeah, isn’t she beautiful?” he gushed. “We’ve been through a lot together.”

I giggled and I eyed the complicated contraption. “She’s certainly impressive.”

He eyed my own weapon thoughtfully. “I thought Cassandra just said there was no magic in your world.”

“There isn’t.”

“Then what’s with the staff.”

I shrugged, “I just picked it up, it’s easy to hit things with.”

Varric looked stunned for a moment then burst out laughing. “You… oh I like you Sunshine, I hope you don’t turn out to be one of the bad guys…..hehehe easy to hit things with.”

He continued to laugh for a bit while we continued down the path, I got the impression that even though Cassandra and Solas weren’t looking our way they were paying close attention to our banter. Understandable I suppose, they were all still suspicious of me and keen to learn us much as possible. And Varric was a good interrogator, the man we so friendly and easy going it was very easy to talk to him.

“So different world huh?” said Varric pulling himself together again. “That’s…. something.”

“Yeah, I suppose it is,” not sure what else to say.

“No elves there?”

“No, only in stories. Otherwise they don’t actually exist, probably never have.”

“Well that’s strange, what about dwarves?”

I looked at Varric, at his short and stocky build and felt like face palming myself. He was a dwarf. _Of course he was. Damn I was dense._

“Not exactly, at least I suspect not like here. Dwarves aren’t a different race or anything but it is a term used for humans who are born shorter.”

“Weird, so no elves, dwarves, demons or magic…. That sounds kind of dull.” Varric said sounding disappointed.

I laughed, it felt good to laugh in the middle of all this chaos. “It’s not really, we have other stuff to keep us entertained, like books and movies and games. You know, things to distract us from our dull everyday work lives.”

Varric smiled, “That sounds about right. What’s a movie?”

I was getting ready to explain the concept of film and television when Cassandra called out from the front of our little party.

“More demons ahead, prepare yourselves.”

Varric sighed and unslung Bianca from his back, “Way to kill a good conversation Seeker.”

She glared at him, “Remember our purpose here dwarf. We are not here to socialise.”

With that she stalked forward towards a large frozen lake with a handful of roaming demons scattered about the surface. Varric followed and I walked awkwardly up to Solas who was standing back slightly and had his staff ready in hand. I was feeling very useless amongst the group of well-trained fighters.

Solas seemed to notice. “You don’t have to force yourself. We can’t very well risk our newly found key to stopping this disaster in minor battles such as these.”

I worried my lip and watched Cassandra reach the edge of the lake where already two Shade demons were racing to meet her.

“I can’t fight,” I admitted quietly. “I have no idea how. Its only sheer dumb luck and help from Cassandra and you that I’m not already dead. But don’t like feeling like a burden.”

The elf calmly flicked his staff up and brought it back to the ground and with a small flash of blue light one of the two Shades was starting to popsicalise like earlier, he continued to flick the staff to and fro. Twirling and spinning the long stick in precise flowing movements and small balls of blue and white icy power streaked from the staffs end to hit a Wraith that was across the other side of the Lake. I watched in awe. This was magic. It looked so effortless, so graceful. Solas glanced back at me and gave me an almost proud smile when he noticed me watching.

“You can get closer to the fight if you like, I will cover you from here. That way if there is an opportunity for you to assist you can take it without putting yourself or the others at risk, just stay on the out skirts.”

I nodded and before I even realised what I was doing I was halfway down the embankment, my staff at the ready. I realised I felt better knowing I might be able to help even in just a small way. I stayed back and watched as Cassandra cut down the two Shades with ease on the icy surface while Varric took down a couple of Wraiths from the edge of the lake, I stood at the ready but not needed for this fight.

When the last of the demons was a flaking pile of green dust blowing across the frozen lakes surface we crossed and made our way up the opposite bank, past the burning remains of a small wooden house. I forced myself not to focus too much on whether or not someone had been in there at the time, or if that was somebodies home and life’s work going up in smoke. As selfish as it was I had other issues that needed my focus, I couldn’t help those poor souls now. Varric again found his way to my side just as another crack of green light illuminated the Breach as it expanded. My palm again exploded in sudden pain and similar green light. I cringed, bitting my tongue to muffle a yelp as I clutched my hand to my chest and tried to breathe through the pain. The dwarf noticed.

“Hey, you ok Sunshine?” he asked cautiously.

I nodded and waited for the pain to subside before replying, “It does that, when The Breach expands so does the mark. I’ll be ok.”

_Until it kills me_ , I thought to myself before pushing the unwelcomed thought to the back of my mind. Being negative would get me nowhere.

Varric gave me look that told me he wasn’t believing a word I just said but to his credit he didn’t push instead he changed the subject. “You were at the Conclave as I hear it. You know what happened?”

I shook my head sadly, “I don’t remember a thing. Not how I got here, nothing about an explosion.”

“That’ll get you every time,” Varric stated sagely. “Should have spun a story.”

“That’s what _you_ would have done.” Interjected Cassandra in  from up ahead.

“It’s more believable, and less likely to result in premature execution,” countered Varric.

Cassandra scoffed and turned away, I caught a brief glimpse of Solas smiling quietly. We continued on, around a bend in the road.

The path ahead was littered with debris and bodies, my stomach churned but I pushed it down and continued on with the others who appeared mostly unaffected bar a few grimaces and solemn eyes. Cassandra looked a little worried.

“Everything ok?” I asked the stoic women nervously, concerned about what might be out there that would worry someone as fearsome as she was.

“I was just thinking, I hope Leliana made it through alright.”

“She’s resourceful Seeker, don’t worry about her,” said Varric comfortingly.

“Varric,” I asked timidly. “You keep calling Cassandra Seeker, why?”

Varric laughed. “Because that what she is, or was so to say. Former Seeker of the Chantry. Defender of truth and justice of the Maker. I’ll bet she didn’t even introduce herself properly to you did she? For shame Seeker.” He chuckled shaking his head, Cassandra just continued to ignore him.

I tried to piece things together in my head as we walked further, another large bridge looming ahead in the distance looked to be our next destination.

I’d figured out that the Maker must be their god and the Chantry their equivalent to the church, the Divine or Most Holy as Cassandra had called her earlier who had been presumably killed in the explosion was most likely their version of the Pope. No wonder everyone was so upset. Cassandra, it seemed was some kind of high ranking church police officer with a wicked sword arm. It was clear the death of her religious leader had hit her very hard. Solas seemed to have arrived to help Cassandra and her organisation with the big hole in the sky using his knowledge of this ‘Fade’ which seemed to be a kind of adjoining spirit world from which magic and demons came from. I turned my attention back to Varric, wondering what his connection to it all was.

“Are you part of the Chantry Varric?” the strange term falling off my tongue awkwardly as we drew closer to the next bridge.

Solas laughed out loud at that, “Is that a serious question?”

I felt myself flushing crimson unsure why what I’d said was so funny. Varric took pity on me patting my arm and smiling.

“No but its sweet you asked. Actually like you I’m a prisoner of the Chantry, under interrogation from our lovely Seeker here.”

I gaped in shock, “Why?”

“It’s all about who you know Sunshine,” he shrugged vaguely avoiding the question as we reached a big heavy wooden door that barred our access to the bridge. I could hear a lot of busy activity from the other side.

Cassandra firm commanding voice echoed out over the battlements. “Open the gates.”

“Yes Lady Cassandra,” a voice called out from somewhere above and the large doors slowly swung forward and creaked open.

Our small party followed Cassandra through the doors and they closed behind us. The Seeker making her way across the bridge with purpose. Again this bridge was scattered with supply crates and stations with soldiers milling about in-between handing out weapons or talking amongst themselves. At the far end I could make out the familiar presence of a lady with a purple shroud leaning across a table talking to an older man dressed in red and white robes. As we got closer I could hear them arguing.

“We must prepare the soldiers,” Leliana was saying.

“We will do no such thing,” interjected the robed man loudly.

“The prisoner must get the Temple of Sacred Ashes. It’s our only chance,” Leliana pressed.

“You have already caused enough trouble without resorting to this exercise in futility.” he snapped back.

“I have caused trouble!” There was a sharp edge to Lelianas tone as she narrowed her eyes at the man.

“You, Cassandra, Most Holy-“

They both looked up us we came forward, the man in robes ceasing his rant. When he saw me his face became a mask of fury and hatred, turning his nose and cheeks a blotchy red. He pointed a stubby finger straight and me, spit flying from his lips and as spoke.

“Ah here they come. Arrest her! Seeker I order you chain that criminal at once and send her to Val Royeaux to be judged and hanged!”

I took an involuntary step back at his obvious hatred of me and was surprised when Varric took a casually defensive position in front of me and Solas came to stand coolly by my side, giving me a reassuring smile. Cassandra stormed forward.

“You? Order me?” she scoffed slashing her hand in a dismissive gesture. “You’re nothing but a glorified clerk Roderick. A bureaucrat. I do not take orders from you.”

“And you are a thug, but a thug that supposedly serves the Chantry!” he snarled.

“We serve the Most Holy,” interjected Leliana forcefully. “As you well know.”

“The Divine is dead! And you dishonour her by freeing the person responsible for all this!” He spat viciously again jabbing his finger at me. “Your allegiance falls to the Chantry and she should be rotting in the dungeon for her crimes.”

I flinched and reminded myself that his hatred wasn’t this man’s fault, he was upset, scared and angry and couldn’t possibly know all the facts. I tried to reason with him. “I understand why you’re upset but I didn’t kill anyone and I can help,” I said gesturing to my glowing palm. “The mark it-“

“Shut up!” he sneered nastily. “I will not stand here and listen to your lies, you shouldn’t even be here.”

I quickly fell silent, my legs feeling shaky and my throat tight. I wasn’t used to this kind of loathing and anger being sent my way. I felt a strong hand on my shoulder and looked up to Solas’s frowning profile as he stared down at the holy man.

“She just made her way here through a swarm of demons in order to aid us and almost got herself killed trying to help, “ said Cassandra coming to my defence. “I can vouch for her she is no killer. She can however help us close the Rifts. We need her to close The Breach.”

Lelianas’ face showed only a small glimmer of surprise at Cassandras change in attitude towards me. Roderick looked appalled.

“You can’t honestly trust this- this murderer!”

I winced. I wasn’t a murderer, or at least I really, really hoped I wasn’t.

“I do,” said Cassandra giving me a small nod. My throat felt a little less tight and I nodded back in appreciation. Determined not to let her down, finding it more than strange that I was now gunning for the approval from my intimidating captor.

_Life was strange._

“Thank you,” I said softly.

“Don’t thank me yet, the trip to The Breach will be much more dangerous. There is an army of demons being held back by our men between us and the temple. It will be a difficult and bloody fight”

I swallowed hard. Compared to the small skirmishes I’d seen already today an army of demons was not a comforting thought, I’d barely made it through the smaller fights. I sent an anxious look at my new companions, how many of them would get hurt while trying to protect me through a battle field full of demons. I suddenly felt very sick… and guilty.

Leliana must have seen my face, she interjected smoothly. “There is another way. Our forces can act as a diversion while you take the mountain pass and sneak in from the side. It will take longer but you are more likely to get there alive.”

Cassandra frowned, “We lost contact with an entire scouting party up that path. We don’t know what could be there.”

“You are not seriously be considering this!” interrupted Roderick. “You must call off the attack, retreat our forces and regroup while the Chantry elect a new Divine.”

“We cannot retreat now we may never get this chance again. The Breach is growing. We need to stop it now while we can,” argued Cassandra.

_While I’m still alive,_ I thought. If this mark was killing me every time The Breach grew we only had a limited amount of time to close it before the key to ending this whole thing died with me.

“You’ve lost your mind Seeker!” Roderick screamed throwing his hands in the air.

Cassandra ignored him and turned to me.

“What do you think?” she asked seriously.

“You’re asking my opinion?” I asked in disbelief.

“You are the one with the mark,” Solas quipped from my side.

“And you are the one we have to keep alive,” added Cassandra. “We cannot seem to come to an agreement. This concerns you as much as it does us now.”

It was a lot of responsibility and a hard choice to make considering what could be at stake and how little I knew about anything going on here. I thought about it carefully before answering.

“If you retreat we lose the chance to close The Breach, possibly for good so that’s out. We end this now while we can. The mountain pass is longer, which puts your soldiers on the front line at greater risk but…” I bit my lip “…. I can’t fight, I’m a huge liability in any combat situation let alone a full on battle. If I go into a battle field too many people will be hurt or will die trying to protect me when they could be protecting themselves. I can’t live with that. We should take the mountain pass.” I said with resolve.

Cassandra nodded, she turned to Leliana. “Get your men ready, bring everyone left in the Valley. We will escort the prisoner through the pass and meet you there. We’ll go now.”

The red head was already turning and waving over specific soldiers nearby. “Good luck,” she said nodding to our small party before turning around and leaving with a band of green hooded soldiers.

Cassandra turned and continued forward to the other side of the bridge Solas ushered me along behind her.

Roderick call out behind us his voice angry and venomous.

“Fine, but the consequences are on your head Seeker!”

Cassandra didn’t flinch just continued walking, shoulders set. My stomach dropped.

_No_ , I thought. _The consequences are on me. Whatever the outcome it was my fault._

How many people would die because of me today?


	5. To The Temple of Boom!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Really?!” I said sounding as frustrated as I felt. “That’s your advice, I don’t even know what I did! Last time it just worked.”
> 
> Evie and the others make the long hike to the destroyed Temple and experience some trouble with the Rifts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on Readers this ones a long one!  
> Some action ahead and few duller bits which I just couldn't seem to make interesting. Sorry.

## To the Temple of BOOM! ##

 

The hike up to the mountain pass went surprisingly quickly, Cassandra keeping us going at a brisk pace despite the harsh winds and icy chill. We eventually came upon a wooden scaffolding and platforms set into the side of the mountain. A simple narrow wooden ladder stretching up a few stories high. Cassandra went up first, I followed shakily. I wasn’t a big fan of heights and this ladder didn’t feel as sturdy as I’d have liked.

“So this passage we’re taking, what is it exactly?” asked Varric from beneath me, “Old mine? Secret Cave?”

“An old mining complex, there are plenty in these mountains. The path should lead straight through then it is a short walk to the Temple, or what’s left of it.” Replied Cassandra as she helped me drag myself onto the first platform.

I stood unsteadily, backing up against the side of the mountain as far from the edge as possible. It was a beautiful view of the surrounding lands, snowy topped mountains and fields. The small rustic villages and settlements nearby looked tiny and quaint. Not a sky scrapper, factory or highway to be seen. It was so pure and natural. The one thing wrong was the green tint everything had taken in the light of the Breach. It was breath taking. Only I couldn’t find it in myself to enjoy it, my mind to busy trying to convince myself I was standing on solid ground not the side of a big mountain on a rickety wooden structure which creaked ominously with every movement I made. Cassandra led the way to a second ladder and I followed reluctantly.

_Why did I pick the mountain path?_

“And your missing soldiers are in there somewhere?” Varric asked.

“Along with whatever has detained them,” added Solas.

“We shall see soon enough.” Replied Cassandra grimly.

Once up the platforms we entered a manmade hole in the mountainside. The mine beyond was dark, dank and eerie and the moment we stepped foot inside it was clear it wasn’t empty.

Wraiths it seemed, tend to glow with their own ghostly light. No torches needed to see them in the dark.

They shrieked, three of them and a Shade that had been hiding in the shadows. With a quick gesture of his hands and staff Solas sent forward a ball of orange flames which exploded outward in a rush of heat as it struck its target, destroying two of the Wraiths and setting the remaining demons on fire, causing them to screech and move about in panic. Cassandra and Varric were quick to finish them off. All the while I stood back in awe holding my staff close to my chest, heart thumping like a humming bird against my rib cage.

_Wow, just wow._

Solas caught me staring at him.

“Something wrong?” he asked mouth twitching at the corners.

“That was amazing! What else can you do?” I asked eagerly. “Can you show me more?”

The elf laughed, Cassandra glowered.

“Now is not the time Evelyn,” she said sounding exasperated.

I found myself pouting unconsciously. I knew she was right but this was magic. Actual magic, happening before my eyes. Who knew how much longer I would have to see such amazing feats?

“Perhaps another time,” the Mage said still smiling, evidently please by my interest.

I nodded enthusiastically and followed the others as we made our way through the short mine. Sticking close to the Solas side in the dark and creepy space, his staff glowing gently gave off a bit of chilled blue light to see by and meant I was less likely to trip over something and roll my ankle. It took only a short while and a couple more small skirmishes with demons until we were back in the open fresh air and out of the stony confines of the tunnel. Unfortunately the light of day wasn’t the only thing to great us back to the surface.

A handful of corpses sat at the entrances door step. Broken bloodied bodies all wearing the uniform of Inquisition soldiers. I turned away shakily and swallowed thickly. So many dead, it was such a tragic waste and to go so violently. I shuddered. I didn’t want to see this.

Varric sighed heavily running a hand over his broad face. “Guess we found the soldiers.”

“That can’t be all of them,” Cassandra murmured looking around expectantly for signs of the rest of the scouting party.

“So the rest could be holed up ahead?” Varric sounded hopeful.

“Our priority must be The Breach,” Solas said gravely. “Unless it is sealed none of us are safe.”

“I’m leaving that to our girl with the glowing hand.” the dwarf said cheerily.

“Thanks Varric,” I muttered darkly while carefully edging around a dead scouts outstretched arm. “That's kind of you.”

“Come,” Cassandra said stalking forward with more determined strides. “We cannot afford to linger. We must move forward.”

The dwarf clapped me on the shoulder as he passed and smiled good naturedly. It struck me just how strange a life these people must live that he was able to smile and joke while surrounded by dead bodies and Cassandra was able to easily push passed her grief to accomplish her goal. Did they see stuff like this that often?

We followed a well-worn path down a slight slope, keeping eyes open for signs of survivors and demons. For awhile we found nothing but snow.

“Up ahead!” Solas’s smooth voice called out from in front of our small party, following his gaze I could make out the faint sounds of another skirmish through the snow laden trees and the faint reflections of the now familiar eerie green light of a Rift.

“Those are our missing scouts!” Cassandra exclaimed drawing her sword and rushing toward the fray, Solas close on her heels. I gave Varric a nervous look before we too rushed forward the dwarf unslinging Bianca as he ran.

There were half a dozen soldiers up ahead in an abandoned brick courtyard. A Rift sitting in the air above them spitting out tendrils of smoky green lightening, spawning more demons. The soldiers were holding their own, fighting off the monsters with skill and determination. But they looked to be beginning to tire, god only knew how long they’d already been fighting. As we reached the battle some of the soldiers seemed to recognise Cassandra, giving each other encouraging battle cries, beginning to fight with renewed vigour.

“Solas help me protect the scouts,” Cassandra ordered before turning to me. “Wait for an opportunity, when there is a clear path close the Rift and retreat back. Varric will cover you.”

I swallowed thickly but nodded, I wasn’t keen on running into a fight but I knew I was the only one who could close the Rift and until I did the demons would just keep coming. I would do my part just like everyone else, I just had to try not to die while I did. I watched at the ready on the outskirts as Cassandra dove forward striking down demons with sword and shield and Solas gracefully sent deadly magic into the small battle field. The Wraith and Shade demons fell only to be replaced as the Rift continued to send out more. I watched constantly looking for my chance, listening to the harsh sounds of steal on claws, soldiers cries and demons screams. My knees were shaking. So much violence, everything moving so quickly and viciously. I felt like I was trying to watch everything at once. A small skirmish between a Wraith and a female soldier caught my attention for a moment as she struck an impressive blow to its chest before my attention was drawn to a Shade to my right as it drew blood across the back of soldier whose focus had been on a different demon. A flash of light and the demon was thrown across the yard by a spell from Solas…….

A well-aimed bolt from Bianca fell a Shade ahead of me, as it disintegrated and flaked away it revealed behind it a gap in the fighting and suddenly there was an opening. My heart stopped and I looked back a Varric. The cheerful dwarfs face was set in serious focus and grim determination. He nodded to me in reassurance, this was my chance. I took my staff and gripped it with white knuckles.

_I could do this, Varric had my back. I just needed to move. Now!_

So I ran, into the hectic fray, weaving to the side once to avoid a Shade as it lunged at a soldier, almost throwing myself onto the ground trying to avoid a sudden fiery green projectile. It was only a short distance but it felt like my goal was forever away as I weaved and dodged. I focussed on my target not diverting my attention from my path even when the sounds of battle got to loud or an enemy to close. The demons leaving me be for the most part, focussing on the skilled warriors or being kept at bay by Varric.

_Just get to the Rift,_ I chanted internally, _get to the Rift and close it_.

And suddenly I was standing beneath the shifting mass of unworldly crystal, its strange unnatural power crackled above me in bursts of green.

Time to do my part, to end this small fight.

I lifted my hand and the mark pulsed but did nothing.

_It did nothing._

I tried again. Nothing.

I stood dumb founded. It wouldn’t work. I was standing in the middle of a gory fight and the one thing I could do to help I couldn’t manage. I stretched out my hand a third time and again nothing. I felt the blood drain from my face and turned to Varric who was busy firing out bolts into nearby demons.

“It’s not working!” I cried out in distress over the sounds of battle. “I can’t do it, it won’t work.”

He calmly shot a Wraith from over my shoulder, I hadn’t even known was coming up on me. “Keep trying!” he called out fiercely. “You can do this Sunshine.”

“How?!”

Varric shrugged and went back to shooting, “How should I know? Just do what you did before.”

“Really?!” I said sounding as frustrated as I felt. “That’s your advice, I don’t even know what I did! Last time it just worked.”

“Focus!” Solas shouted voice had me turning to where he stood on the other side of our small battle ground where he must have noticed my predicament. “Focus on the power, the energy in that mark and its link to the Rift. Then will it to connect and close. It’s a part of you but you must be stronger than it, bend it to your will.”

I stared at the elf open mouthed as he went back to throwing magic about the battle. He couldn’t really be serious. It sounded so vague and so farfetched, I didn’t even know where to start. He made it sound so simple and I suppose to him it might be, being a Mage he must manipulate powers and forces to make his magic. But for me it just didn’t seem possible. And I didn’t feel like I had time to figure it out, to focus. But if I didn’t people would die.

The sound of the battle felt deafening. I was over whelmed. _I couldn’t do this…._ I was panicking.

_Deep breaths, calm down. Focus. There was no ‘can’t’, I 'had' to do this._

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on my hand, deliberately blocking out the sounds and sensations around me. It just felt like my hand, except for the odd throbbing and tingling of my palm. The mark. It wasn’t a raised bump on my skin but more like a foreign object, like a stone that somehow manage to get lodged under my skin. But it wasn’t solid it moved, not like a liquid or a gas but something else. It was cold and seemed to beat with its own pulse separate from my own. It was tingling like pins and needles constantly and with every pulse a dull throbbing pain would radiate down the length of my arm until it seemed to nestle into my heart. It wasn’t something tangible but it was still there, like static electricity. Just prickling and pulsing in an unseen cloud around my hand. Trying to connect with something else, reaching for its other part. Its bigger whole.

Above me, the same pulse was beating in time with the mark, the same sensation and power but bigger. The Rift. It was reaching out trying to connect with the mark and vice versa. It just couldn’t reach it by itself. I had to help it connect.

I reached out again, my hand out stretched towards the Rift and concentrated on the pulse, the throbbing pain as it travelled down my arm into my chest, reached my heart. My soul. Until its pulse and mine matched. Then I willed it to connect. To join.

It did. Willingly. Using my own pulse to fuel it.

The green beam of light from my palm shot towards the Rift and crackled and danced merrily as it reconnected with its other part. I could barely register the cries of surprise from the scouts or the confused snarls of the demons as they turned their attention to me. My thoughts were elsewhere. It hurt like before, intense and cold but there was something else that came with the pain. Pride that I did this and awe at what lay at my fingertips. I could feel something much bigger beyond the Rift, a bigger pulse. Constant and massive. Like a sun, burning with a cold energy it was both wonderful and terrifying. Because it wanted a way in, to split apart the barrier that divided the Rift from its whole. To re-join with its fragments so that two worlds could merge and the creatures beyond could explore and live…. Destroy. It could do it, it would use my pulse to give it strength….

_No! I couldn’t let it do that_.

In the back of my mind something was screaming at me that letting the Rift get bigger was a very bad thing, that I couldn’t let it win. But that was exactly what it was doing, using my pulse to feed its goal.

_No!_

_‘Will it closed. Be stronger’_

I was in control, my pulse was giving it its strength and it came from my heart beat. I owned it. It would do what I told it to do.

I clenched my fist ripping it away from the connection. Severing it from its new power source and willing it to close.

The Rift convulsed, collapsing in on itself then exploding out in a shower of emerald light and a squeal of distress and rage. I had done it.

I gasped, my head fuzzy but no longer clouded with the overwhelming pulse of the Rift and the Fade beyond. The triumphant and startled shouts of my companions and the scouts as well as the sounds of the dying battle coming to an end ringing hollowly in my ears as I stumbled and fell to the ground on my hands as knees. The world was spinning. I felt tired. Drained. Sick to my stomach. I wavered, falling.

A set of hands grasped my shoulders steadying me and sitting me back, they were large hands but narrow with long fingers and they held me firmly but gentle. A figure crouched down in front of me.

“Easy now,” Solas smooth voice commanded. “It’ll pass, give it a moment.”

I didn’t question him, choosing to just close my eyes and breath, breathing helped.

“Is she alright?” a thick accent, Cassandra. Another body crouched by my side, boots crunching in the snow. I kept breathing, in and out.

“She’s drained. She’ll be alright in a moment,” Solas replied calmly.

“Andrastes ass what the hell happened to her?” Varrics voice this time. “That didn’t happen the first time.”

“That is probably because I initiated the process then,” Solas's replied sounding a little sheepish. “I apologise I must have done it unconsciously with the first Rift so it used my mana. I didn’t even think that you would have had to draw upon your own mite to power the connection. I just assumed… I apologise.”

Feeling a little less woozy I looked up into the elf’s concerned and apologetic face. “I don’t understand, what was that?”

“You used your body’s energy, your life force to fuel the connection between the mark and the Rift, it was only a small amount and it will return but your body isn’t use to it, over time it will adjust the exchange of powers but at first it is quite a shock to your system. I impressed you were able to control it at all with no training.” He explained.

I was still confused, but Cassandra beat me to the questions.

“You make it sound like she was performing a magic Solas. She’s not a Mage, what exactly is going on here?”

“It was magic Seeker. This mark is an ancient magic unlike any I’ve ever seen or heard of. Yet you are correct, our friend here is no Mage and as such has no innate ability to channel the energies required to fuel its purpose. It’s possible that this is mark has enabled her to use her own life force to connect to the Fade or she is an abnormality and able to use her own life force to activate the mark. Either way it is unlike anything I have come across before.”

My heart dropped, frustrated I dug my nails into my palm. “Then this whole thing is pointless,” I croaked out. “It won’t work.”

“Why do you say that?” asked Cassandra shocked. “You managed to close it just fine and Solas said you will recover with time.”

I shook my head, and looked up at the Breach “I almost passed out closing a small Rift! How can I possibly close something so much bigger if it drains my life away while I connect to it? I’ll be dead before I can close it.”

“Shit, she’s got a point,” Varric muttered running a hand through his hair. Cassandra looked defeated realising what I said to be true. I would be useless against the Breach, I was too weak.

“Not so. I can help you to power it like with the first Rift. My magic will be enough to fuel the mark and keep you from being drained,” the Mage said calmly.

“Won’t it drain you then?” I interjected.

He smiled, “The reason it affected you so much was because you are not used to channelling primal forces. I however am quite adapt and have an impressive amount of mana available to me as well might I add.”

I felt a flicker of hope spark in my stomach. “Will that work?”

“We have to at least try,” said the elf standing up and offering me a hand up.

I nodded to myself, we did have to try. What other choice was there. Let’s face it I would die either way but if I could stay alive long enough to take out the Breach with me at least I could do some good. I took Solas’s hand and he gently helped me stand, Cassandra and he standing close by and helping me regain my balance as I wavered.

“Lady Pentaghast,” a female soldier approached our group addressing Cassandra. She looked tired and filthy her armour smattered with blood and ichor but a triumphant grin stretched across her face. “Thank the Maker you arrived when you did. We wouldn’t have been able to hold them off much longer.”

Cassandra smiled back. “Lieutenant, I am glad to see you still alive. Though the decision to come this way was not mine. You should be thanking the prisoner. She insisted we come this way.”

Cassandra gestured over her shoulder at me and the captain looked my way, first looking on in stunned shock then giving me grateful smile.

“Then I am in your debt my lady.”

I flushed scarlet and stuttered, “That’s not necessary. I’m just glad you and your men are alright.”

“You’re going to close the Breach aren’t you? With that.” she questioned, gesturing to my glowing palm.

“I hope so,” I said quietly. “Well that’s the plan at least.”

“Then I offer you my men and I, we will help you get to the Breach.”

“Thank you Lieutenant but that will not be necessary,” Cassandra said not unkindly. “The pass behind us has been cleared and will be safe to travel. Go back to the forward camp, get some rest and healing. You’ve done your job, we can continue on from here.”

“Yes Lady Pentaghast.” The lieutenant pulled her right fist to her chest in some kind of salute to Cassandra and gave me an acknowledging nod. “Good luck.”

I watched as she turned and left with the rest of her troop, before turning my curious gaze to Cassandra who had begun shifting through the remains of the battle, kicking through demon ashes with her feet scowling down at the remains. The soldiers she had just sent back could have been useful for the rest of the journey, even injured and tired they would have been of more help than me in a fight. Yet Cassandra sent them back. Most likely for their own sake. I smiled, she was protecting them. Deep down Cassandra was a big softy.

She looked up and saw me smiling at her and scowled suspiciously back at me. “What is it? Why are you smiling like that?”

“Nothing,” I said waving her off, still smiling. “It’s just nice that you care so much about your soldiers.”

She frowned at me for a moment confused before shaking her head. “Are you feeling better?”

I was, the dizzying weakness seemed to have passed, even if I still felt rather drained and weary and more than a little unnerved by the whole episode. “Yeah, I’m good.”

She sent a questioning look to Solas, who just nodded in consent. I felt a little pissed off at that, she could at least trust me to know my own body.

“Then let’s keep moving,” she said. “It’s not far now.”

We carried on, Cassandra leading us down a narrow and steep path cut into the side of the mountain. I walked on shaky legs with two hands firmly against the cliff side my heart thudding in my ears. I’d never realised before how much heights unnerved me, but then again I’d never put myself in such a precarious position on the side of a mountain before either. The steps were small and covered in snow and ice, one small slip and I was going down. Possibly taking my companions down for the ride. I shuddered, keeping my gaze firmly on my feet, both hands pressed to the side of the mountain for support and listened to Varric grumbling something about dwarves and mountain goats ahead of me. Glad I wasn’t the only one not comfortable on this terrain. When my feet finally hit the snowy even path below I let out a huge sigh of relief.

Solas laughed behind me. “I take it you don’t like heights,” he said cheerily.

I flushed red, realising he’d been walking close behind me the whole time, possibly just waiting for me to slip. _Was it that obvious_?

“I like heights just fine, as long as I’m not on them,” I replied defensively.

He laughed warmly and we continued forward up another rise to the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

Or what was left of it.

It must have been a huge structure, mounted on the spine of the mountain range and looking out over the surrounding lands it would have made an impressive sight. Now it was just a shell of its former glory. Almost literally. Where strong stone walls used to stand there were now gaping holes in the structure, what was left behind was burnt and scarred. Chunks of building had been thrown across the landscape by the sheer force of the explosion, entire rooms and floors gone. The building looked as if it had exploded outwards, blown its top like Krakatoa. It was a dark twisted place now, jagged pillars of blacked marble and twisted stone jutted up towards the sky, the surrounding ground blacked and burnt under patches of new snow. Parts of the wreck still burned with a strange green fire.

“Well….Shit…” breathed out Varric.

Shit was an understatement in my opinion. This was horrific. I looked towards Cassandra. The Seekers face was pale and drawn, she stood straight and strong but underneath the tough façade I had a feeling she was either crying in anguish or getting ready to hit something really, really hard. This must be very hard for her to see this place, were her beloved Divine and so many others had died.

“Cassandra I….” I trailed off, not knowing what I could say to make this easier.

“We should keep moving,” she said firmly, striding forward.

Solas sighed heavily and followed. Varric and I exchanged sad looks and did the same.

As we drew closer a more morbid sights began to great us. One that made me want to turn and run, find someplace to curl up and scream in horror.

There were people, countless people all in various stances of fear. Running, cowering, protecting, mouths open in permanent silent screams of pain and terror. And they were all dead. Their bodied burned, blackened and boiled beyond recognition, charcoal statues frozen in position like the victims of Pompeii. Some still burned in places. And the smell, of putrid flesh and smoke was enough to turn my stomach.

“Oh god,” I choked almost taking a step back. The image in front of us was horrible. What had these poor people suffered in their last moments? Every single one of them seemed transfixed in some kind of terror or despair. To spend their last moments like that… I couldn’t bring myself to think about.

Cassandra gestured ahead, “This is where our men found you after you fell out of the Fade. When they saw a women behind you.”

I shuddered drawing my coat closer around me, not liking the thought that I’d even been here before let alone have somehow been involved in it. We continued around giving the victims bodies a wide berth, then a painful throb from my palm alerted me to something close by.

I hissed in pain and gripped my hand to my chest. “God damn it!”

“Something wrong?” Cassandra asked eyebrow raised.

“There’s a Rift up ahead… I think.” I grumbled flexing my hand to try and ease the pain, to no use.

“You can tell? It could just be The Breach expanding again,” asked Varric with an odd mix of curiosity and appal.

“Sorta,” I said unsure. “It’s just a feeling, it’s different from The Breach, smaller and easier to …. Sense in a way. I don’t know, this is all new to me! It’s hard to explain.”

The dwarf smiled happily, “Well that’s not creepy in the slightest.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed. I never said I wasn’t childish.

We rounded the corner and sure enough there was a small Rift suspended in the air, I wasn’t exactly please to find I was right. Not only did this mean we had another fight on our hands but it confirmed again my strange unwanted connection to the Rifts and Breach. Half a dozen Wraiths floated about beneath it and something that looked like a giant over grown slug made of glowing lava.

“What the heck is that?” I asked mesmerised and disgusted.

“Rage demon,” said Cassandra drawing her weapons. “Don’t get to close they are very hot.”

As she spoke the creature belched out a large puddle of bubbling molten spew onto the ground. The very stone hissed under the heat.

“No kidding,” I replied eyes wide.

“Solas, can you freeze it?” Cassandra asked, her dark eyes intense and calculating, her body relaxed and at ease. I realised this is where Cassandra was most comfortable, while planning and under taking a fight she was in her element. She may not enjoy it, but she was obvious good at it and it was familiar ground for her.

“It may take a few attempts but yes I can freeze it.” The Mage answered frowning in concentration as he surveyed the area.

“Good, I will distract the creature while you freeze it. Varric and Evelyn can keep the Wraiths attention. When we’re clear we close the Rift.” She said decisively.

Varric gave her a mock salute. “Yes commander, always happy to play decoy for the greater good.”

Cassandra ignored him and turned to me. “Keep their attention but do not put yourself in any immediate danger, we need you alive. If you are in trouble call for help and try to get away. Understood?”

I nodded and gripped my staff. I could do this.

“All right, let’s go.”

She and Solas went forward into the centre of the fray, while Varric and I went off to the side, Varric using Bianca with deadly accuracy on the Wraiths. I hovered around jumping forward when a Wraith got to close to Solas or Cassandra to get the demons attention. I waved my arms, shouted insults and even landed a few strikes to get them to focus on me before running back and leading their focus away from the warrior and the Mage tackling the big lava slug. It was effective for the most part, in between running for my life and dodging ghostly fire balls I caught glimpses of Solas and Cassandra working in tandem to kill the Rage demon. Solas summoning and sending icy magic toward the creature while Cassandra deflected its blows and molten spew with her shield. Though I couldn’t sit and watch for long having my own demons to deal with.

Two Wraith demons currently had me in their sights after a rather nasty insult I’d made regarding their lack of lower body parts, whether or not they even understood the remark or just disliked the sooty snowball I’d thrown at one of them I wasn’t sure. Both were keeping out of reach and had begun hurling their green fire balls in my direction. Thankfully the projectiles were rather slow and not well aimed otherwise I would have been in trouble, even so I was beginning to tire. I stumbled a little while avoiding one fire ball and ended up on one knee in the snow, as I stood myself back up a shout of warning from Varric alerted me to another projectile coming from the side. Throwing myself forward to avoid it I felt something cold and flickering brush the back of my calve making my leg go numb, refusing to let myself fall I continued forward rushing one of the Wraiths and using my staff like a club, I struck it down with a cry. Shocked by my sudden advance the creature crumpled to the ground with a shriek, I turned to face my second assailant only to watch it dissolve in the air as three crossbow bolts jutted through its chest.

“That’s the last one Sunshine,” Varric said walking forward and gesturing to the one I’d struck still twitching on the ground. “Want to do the honours.’

I grimaced and looked down at the demon. I didn’t approve of killing, despite my earlier success with my first Wraith. Hunting for fun had always seemed extremely cruel to me. I believe firmly that all life should be valued. But looking down at this creature I couldn’t bring myself to feel any remorse for it. This thing wasn’t alive, it was wrong, cruel and corrupt. Its sole purpose was to harm, to cause grief and pain. I wouldn’t be killing it. I’d be removing something very wrong from this world. Like poison from a wound.

I stood over it and drove the bottom of my staff down with as much force as I could muster, impaling the demon through the centre of its chest with surprising ease. It let out a final shriek and flaked away like the others. Varric reached up to my shoulder, giving it a brief and awkward pat.

Another unearthly shriek was heard from the Rage demon as it was frozen and shattered by Cassandras sword in an explosion of ice and sludge.

“Euw,” I wrinkled my nose in disgust. Killing Rage demons was messy.

Solas turned to me and pointed up. “We should close it before more decide to come through.”

I nodded in assent and walked over to where he stood. He frowned at me. “You’re limping.”

_I was?_

I looked down to see the back of my borrowed leather coat was singed, when I lifted it up the material to look the back of my leggings on my left calf was torn, a large hole about the size of my palm was missing. Underneath the skin was red and blistered.

“Oh,” I said shocked. “I think I’ve been hit. I can’t even feel it.”

“Spirit fire,” he said, crouching down to look. “It will start hurting soon enough. We will tend to it after we close the Rift.”

“Uh sure,” I was still in shock. I’d been hurt. In battle. _Wow, that was a first._

Solas led me beneath the Rift and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Just do what you did before, only this time I will help channel and power the connection.”

“Alright…” I said nervously not even sure I could replicate what I did earlier. But I suppose I had to try.

I concentrated on my hand again. It was easier this time I knew what it was I needed to focus on. The pulsing heartbeat of the mark was easy to latch onto and the Rift above seemed just as eager to connect with the mark as I reached out my hand and willed the two to merge. My arm throbbed and my head swam with the power of the Fade beyond the Rift. I could feel its pull as it leached energy from my body and soul, only something else was feeding it. Solas was sending his own energy into the mix. Calm, soothing and unassuming, it was like water flowing through the hectic tangle of energies. With the connection made I willed the Rift to close, it fought. It felt I was trying to close a window with my mind and someone else was desperately trying to keep it open. I struggled for a few moments until it gave in slamming the Rift closed with my will. Pulling my hand away with a gasp as the real world came back into focus and the Rift shrivelled and imploded overhead.

I staggered a little, my head and arm throbbed dully but the overpowering weakness and sick feeling was absent. I looked to Solas unable to hide my triumphant smile. “We did it! It worked.”

He stepped back and smiled. “Indeed we did. You are becoming quiet proficient at this.”

“Let’s hope it works on the big one,” Varric added dryly coming forward. “Sunshine you need to sit down so we can look at that burn.”

“Ah yeah,” I winced. The area was beginning the sting quiet insistently. “It is starting to twinge a bit.”

“Here,” Cassandra was by my side in an instant and leading over to a chunk of fallen wall and making me sit. I angled myself sideways so she and Solas could get a good look at the wound. I grimaced and looked away gritting my teeth against the sudden pain as she used a small blade to cut away the bottom of my leggings and peeled it away from the wound. It was bigger than I’d first thought.

“It’s not worth a healing potion,” Cassandra said. “We should save them for more debilitating injuries. Are you able to heal it Solas?”

“Heal it? With magic?” I could feel my eyes widening as a huge smile spread across my face. I wanted to see this.

The elf was currently busy rummaging through a pouch he’d been wearing on his belt. “Ordinarily I would be happy to, however seeing as my magic will be needed for closing the Breach I would prefer not to spend too much mana on minor wounds if it can helped.”

I felt my face drop with disappointment and small amount of annoyance. Only the people here would call a second degree burn minor.

Solas finished his search and bought out a small jar full of mint green gel and a roll of bandages. “This will do for now.” He said calmly and began to smear its contense onto my calf in gentle motions. I bit my lip to stop from whimpering and dug my nails into my palm. It felt worse than peroxide in a fresh graze.

“How is it I’m the only one who got hurt?” I grumbled when he began to bandage up his work. “I wasn’t the only one getting fireballs thrown at them.”

Cassandra scoffed, “We are better trained than you are and better equipped. With such flimsy material to protect you of course it burned through.” She tossed the scape of my leggings she’d cut away disdainfully.

I realised with a start that her armour was blackened and sooty in spots, as was Varrics heavy coat and boots. They must have been hit a few times themselves. Suddenly feeling concerned I asked, “Are any of you guys injured at all?”

“Just bruises and cuts,” shrugged Cassandra. “All minor.”

“Don’t worry about us, we’re tough,” added Varric elbowing Cassandra who rolled her eyes and walked away.

Solas finished up his handy work, stood up and offered me a hand. “That will protect it until we get back to Haven and have a healer tend to it.”

“Thank you,” I gave him a grateful smile and let him help me to my feet. I could stand without issue, the burn now just another ache to add to the growing list. I looked to Cassandra, “Which way now?”

“Follow me,” she said gravely leading our small party to a gap in one of the blackened temple walls, it looked like a ruined stairway leading down a level or two. We dropped down inside the ruined passage and followed it down to the inner temple. We came out onto a balcony that may have once overlooked a large ballroom. Now it overlooked more destruction and a large crater where the inside of the temple used to be. Broken bits of building and statues again littered the ground, and strangely enough the sky too. Parts of shattered statues and columns were hanging in the air, suspended overhead rotating slowly like bits of a child’s mobile. Beyond them the Breach was right above us seeming to stretch out over everything casting the world in its unusual green light. A large Rift sat in the centre of the ruined temple, unlike the others I’d seen it wasn’t actively spitting out tendrils of light and summoning demons. Instead it seemed to be partially shrouded in a green mist that twisted around its crystalline form like silk scarves.

“That’s…. A little overwhelming,” I said looking up.

“I’ll say,” Varric said at my elbow. “It’s very high up.”

The sounds of running foot steps behind us had all of us turning and reaching for our weapons only to see Leliana and a small troop of green glad soldiers coming towards us. Leliana had a pale bow clasped in one hand and a quiver of arrows slung onto her back.

When she saw us she smiled widely, “You made it, thank the Maker.”

“Leliana, have your men take up positions around the temple. We need it secured,” Cassandra said, snapping out orders easily. Leliana to her credit seemed to take it in stride turning back to her men and quietly directing them about the area before coming to join us.

“Are you ready?” Cassandra asked me.

“I suppose,” I looked up at the great big swirling hole in the sky. “Though to be honest I don’t know if I’d be able to reach that high.”

“You won’t have to,” interrupted Solas pointing towards the misty Rift below. “That was the first Rift, seal it and the Breach should follow.”

“Well that does seem more accessible, are you sure it will work?” I asked.

“I believe it will, besides,” he said smiling slightly. “Unless you can fly reaching the Breach its self would be almost impossible.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I was feeling nervous and the attempt at humour was appreciated but not really calming.

“Ok then,” I gripped my staff tighter and rolled my shoulders. I was determined or us much as I could be. “Let’s do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did something a bit different with the Anchor and how its used just to add a bit more drama, I hope it worked.  
> Please Comment or Kudos if you like. Lets me know you're enjoying the story..... and it does wonders for my ego ;)  
> Thank you for reading


	6. The Sacrifice...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No! But he…. How? That should have run it through- the demon should have been dead!” I exclaimed, shocked. He couldn’t be dead, people didn’t just get cut down and die like that!
> 
> When the attempt to close The Breach doesn't go to plan Evie ends up doing something reckless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Evies introduction to Thedas is done and up. It will be the last chapter for a few days so I can catch up on some missing chapters and you know..... real life. I just wanted to get this part all neatly done and over.  
> Hope you like.

## The Sacrifice…..##

Cassandra nodded in approval and led the way along the outside of the crater looking for a safe way down. We had walked only a few paces when a deep, rumbling, disembodied voice echoed out across the ruins. Making me jump and gasp in fright, whirling around stupidly looking for its source.

“The time has come. Bring forth the sacrifice.”

“Who was that?” Demanded Cassandra looking around with her sword drawn.

“At a guess,” Solas answered wryly. “The person responsible for causing The Breach.”

I shivered and when no other words were spoken by the mysterious voice we continued forward. Up ahead strange red crystals were jutting out of the remaining structures like deadly red ice burgs. Curious I walked toward the nearest cluster, they looked to be made of pale ruby but failed to reflect any light or shine despite the smooth cut. I had my hand out stretched to touch only to have my wrist grasped and abruptly pulled back by a large hand with stubby thick fingers. I followed the adjoining arm and looked down at Varrics pale strained face. Before I could even ask what was wrong he just shook his head and turned to Cassandra.

“This is red lyrium Seeker,” he hissed. I was shocked, the carefree dwarf almost sounded worried.

“I can see that Varric.” Cassandra dead panned walking ahead.

“But what’s it doing here?” he continued sounding desperate and tense.

“Perhaps the blast from the explosion corrupted any Lyrium that might have been beneath the Temple.” suggested Solas.

Varric growled, “Whatever it is, don’t any one touch it. That shit's evil.”

I pulled away from the crystal and swallowed, nodding my thanks to Varric as we backed away. If it had the cheerful dwarf, who had barely battered an eyelid at the demons we’d already faced, this unnerve then I didn’t want anything to do with the red lyrium. Whatever it was. He gave me a tight smile and we continued on giving the red crystal shards a very wide berth.

“Somebody….. Help me!” Again we were stopped by a ghostly call, this time the disembodied voice sounded feminine and older.

Cassandra stood still ahead of me, sending our party to a halt. “That was Divine Justinias voice.” She rasped, sounding oddly choked.

No one said anything, we all seemed to be waiting for the voice to say something more, when it didn’t none of us seemed able to utter a word. This was getting very strange.

Cassandra was the one to break the silence. “What’s going on here? Who was she speaking to?”

No one could answer her. I was at a loss, having no clue were the voices were even coming from. This place was giving me the chills. The green light, creepy destroyed temple and eerie voices, it was getting to be too much. But I still followed when we continued on, really what choice did I have? One of Lelianas soldiers pointed out a clear way down off a broken edge of flooring, it required a two and a half metre drop into the crater below but it was clear of debris. Cassandra and Leliana jumped down first with ease. Solas followed gracefully and Varric cursed and jumped down a tad more solidly than the others. I sat myself down on the edge and slid myself down so I was hanging of the ledge by my fingertips, my feet dangling half a metre of the ground and my nose kissing the walls surface. I could hear Varric chortling loudly at my expense and Cassandra sigh in exasperation.

Solas chuckled lightly then came to my aid with his hands on my waist helping to guide me to solid ground.

“What?” I asked defensively, face red. “If I’d jumped down like the rest of you I’d most likely break my leg.”

“I thought it was actually quite cute,” Varric said between peals of laughter.

I glared at him to which he laughed harder and we moved forward towards the Rift. As we drew closer the Rift seemed to pulse, bracing myself for demons to be summoned I was surprised when instead ghostly images appeared in the misty substance around the Rift. Not demons but a women, her face marked with age and fear, wearing long white robes with strong red strips similar to those I’d seen the Rodrick wearing. Chantry robes. She had on a strange hat that was shaped almost like a tall Pope hat but squarish in shape and also in white and red. Her arms were stretched out on either side of her, tendrils of glowing red chains wrapped around her forearms.

And towering over her was a shapeless mass of shifting black shadows from which two narrow red eyes glowed evilly. It spoke.

“Now, the time has come. Bring forth the sacrifice.”

The old women who I knew without a doubt was the deceased Divine struggled against the shadows and chains that held her. “No, you can’t. Someone Help me!”

And then another voice distorted quiet and soft.

“What the- What’s going on? What are you doing to her?! L-let her go!”

I gasped out loud clasping my hand over my mouth. That was my voice, uncertain and scared. I could feel the others eyes on my back as I stood horrified watching as the shadowy figure seemed to turn its horrible gaze to where I currently stood.

“Run!...... Warn them!” the Divines image wailed, struggling in her bonds.

“Enough! Kill the intruder!”

There was a flash and the image disappeared.

I took an involuntary step back only to find Cassandra standing behind me, her face serve and intense.

“What is this? That was your voice, the Divine called out to you for help! Is this true, is this what happened to the Divine?”

“I- I don’t-“I didn’t know what to say.

“You were there! You must have seen-” she continued to press, sounding desperate and angry.

“I don’t know!” I gasped, feeling backed into a corner and terrified. “Cassandra I don’t remember any of this! I’m sorry but I don’t know.”

She looked at me hard as if trying to read my sincerity. Feeling very frustrated at the lack of trust and scared I looked back with a hopeless and lost expression. That was definitely me that spoke in that image but I didn’t remember ever being here or seeing the Divine before, the thought that such an important chunk of my memories was just gone was horrifying.

_What else couldn’t I remember? What had I done?_

“What was that?” asked Leliana managing to draw everyone’s attention back to the Rift.

Solas, of course came forth with an answer, “The Veil is thin here and the Fade bleeds into this world. It is reflecting things that have happened, echoing the events. This Rift itself isn’t sealed just dormant, we will need to open it in order to close it properly. However doing so will likely attract attention from the other side.”

“That means demons.” Stated Cassandra, having shaken of her suspicions for the moment at least to focus on the task at hand. She looked about the chasm and seemed to be addressing the surrounding soldiers. “Be ready.”

Solas was beside me and guiding me towards the Rift in an instant.

“I will stay with you this time and help you close it as soon as an opportunity presents itself. Try to stay close,” he said seriously. I nodded in understanding.

“I’m ready.” I murmured, then louder. “Let’s get this over with.”

The bald elf gave me a kind smile. He sent Cassandra a nod over my shoulder and took my left wrist in his hand raising it to face the Rift like the first time.

“On three,” he said. I wondered quietly how he could seem so calm about deliberately opening a Rift and unleashing more demons into his world as he began to count. “One…. two …..”

“Three,” I hissed making the connection with ease, the Rift activated and opened quickly, eagerly. There was a bright flash and suddenly a demon appeared seeming to jump out of thin air to land in front of us.

It was big, massive, more than twice my height and practically 4 times my width. Thick muscled limbs like tree trunks and a body like a bolder, it’s thick hide a purple- grey colour with long jaggered protruding plates and spikes along it arms and shoulders and crowned its horned head. Its wide flat face held two sets of small beady black eyes, one above the other and a wide mouth which opened wide to reveal jagged triangular teeth like a sharks as it laughed a deep horrible cruel laugh.

“Pride Demon!” Cassandra called in warning and it let out a ground shaking roar. The Rift began to spit out the familiar beams of energy and more demons started to emerge, Wraiths and Shades adding their own screams and wails to its chorus.

And it started.

The archers positioned along the walls took aim and launched volley after volley of arrows at the attacking creatures offering some cover for those on the ground. Warriors armed with swords axes or maces shouted out battle cries and rushed in to engage, weapons and shields flashing in the unnatural light and bitting into demon flesh and grating against claws.

Solas pushed me behind him and shook out his staff and arms spreading them wide as he gathered a cool blue energy among his hands and sent it out in a wave around us. It seemed to attach itself to me, clinging like a second skin. My own skin seemed to go all tingly and numb for a moment and my vision took a slight bluish tinge. I looked on in awe as the same energy seemed to cover half a dozen others nearby including Cassandra and Leliana.

“Protection Barrier,” Solas said calmly. “It won’t last long but it will help deflect some of the attacks.”

Even as he spoke a Wraith sent a fiery attack our way, grazing my shoulder. I could feel the magical barrier ripple and snap as it deflected the projectile making it useless. Solas began to send his offensive spells into the fray and I took it as an opportunity to run the short distance towards the attacking demon. It made an attempt to grasp and claw at me as I approached, its spectral skull pulled back into a horrific grimace but its short claws couldn’t penetrate the barrier as it slashed. I struck at it once, the blow glancing off it shoulder as I clubbed at it. The Wraith raised a skeletal arm for protection and screeched as I raised my staff to strike it down with a shout. It collapsed on the floor and like I’d done earlier used the end of my weapon to impale it through its chest.

Feeling shaky and out of breath I noticed the blue tinge was fading from my sight, the barrier was wearing off. Quickly I made my retreat back to Solas as he sent a small cluster of demons skidding across the grounds with a forceful sweep of his arms and a snap of energy. Looking around the area I could see Cassandra and another swordsman ducking and weaving about the large Pride demon, slashing at its thick skin when the opportunity arrived. Leliana was nearby also, firing arrows at the creature, though it seemed mostly for distraction purposes most of her shots seemed to bounce off, useless as bee stings to a creature of that size. Varric was across the yard giving cover fire for the soldiers who were holding formation against the other swarming demons. Cutting them down only to have their opponents replaced as the Rift continued to summon them forward at an intense rate. We were holding our own, but we weren’t winning.

“We need to divert its attention somehow,” Leliana called out over the noise. “It’s too strong and we haven’t the numbers while the demons keep coming.”

“We should try and close the Rift, cut them off from the source,” Solas responded.

Leliana nodded, “I’ll keep you covered. Be quick.”

I was already beside Solas reaching my hand up and concentrating on the Rift over head. I waited until I felt the mage’s narrow hand on my shoulder and his calming magic mix in with the strange pulsing power of the mark until I made the connection. This Rift was much bigger, so much hungrier than the others. It was like comparing a puddle to the ocean. Even with Solas’s power the force of the Rifts pull was almost overwhelming. I focussed on controlling it, imagining it like a door that needed closing, even with all my strength pushing against the surface it was closing very slowly. Inch by agonising inch.

And suddenly it was gone, the connection snapped and I was brought back to reality with a start. Disorientated and reeling from the sudden lose I turned around blearily only to come face to face with a Shade Demon with its rotting arms out stretched towards me. Before I could even scream the Shade screeched in agony as a shard of ice the size of my forearm was sent through its snarling face and it exploded out into ash.

“What- what happened?” I stuttered still befuddled.

“Quickly,” A hurried voice behind me called out and I felt someone pulling me back by the scruff of my leather coat. I stumbled back numbly as I was dragged away from the Rift and the sudden throng of bedraggled and agitated demons under it.

“What the hell?” I gasped, wriggling my way out of Solas’s grasp.

“When you engaged the Rift the demons became agitated, distracted.” Leliana explained jumping forward to fire at the mass of monsters. “We managed to use that to our advantage at first but then they all made their way towards you. We had to pull you back or risk you being overrun.”

Even as she spoke I could see the demons behaving oddly, they were twitchy. Turning this way and that, swatting and hitting at nothing and grasping at their heads. It was like they were all hallucinating on some kind of drugs. But they seemed to be slowly shaking themselves out of it, becoming more focussed again.

“They become confused and stupid when I connect with the Rifts,” I said numbly. “Well…. That’s interesting.”

“We’ll have to take out more of the demons before you try again, wait here.” Leliana started forward gesturing to a few of her soldiers to follow as she raced towards the pack. I turned my attention to where Cassandra had last been fighting the Pride demon.

They were still going, the male soldier jumped back to avoid a vicious swing from the monster and Cassandra rushed forward from behind slashing at the back of the huge demons legs. It roared in pain and turned to Cassandra attempting to stomp her but she was already moving again delivering another successful gash to the creatures’ side.

_Yes!_ She was kicking its big purple ass.

I was debating whether I should give the two warriors a cheer or if would be more of a distraction when the Pride demon stopped, throwing its head back and roaring a deep menacing roar. I had to clasp my hands over my ears as the sound rang about the ruins.

The male swordsman seemingly unaffected by the noise took his chance to lunge at the monsters unguarded stomach a move that should have skewered the pride demon…

His sword hit the beasts exposed belly and shattered, large fractions of steal scattering the ground at his feet. The demon laughed nastily looking down at the shocked and bewildered soldier, then with a mighty swing of a trunk like arm it struck the man, hitting him about the neck and shoulders, there was a sickening crack and the soldier was thrown like a rag doll, back half a dozen metres to land limp and still amongst the dust.

I let out a horrified cry and made to rush towards the fallen man only to have Solas grasp my arm and hold me back with a shake of his head. “He’s gone.” He said softly. My stomach clenched painfully.

“No! But he…. How? That should have run it through- the demon should have been dead!” I exclaimed, shocked. He couldn’t be dead, people didn’t just get cut down and die like that!

Solas shook his head sadly. “It used an ability that hardens its skin to something akin to stone. We will need to wear it down again.”

“But… That’s not fair! They had it!” I watched as Cassandra let out and angry snarl and re-engaged the demon. By herself. I was filled with a sudden dread.

“Solas we have to help her!” I pleaded. “She can’t fight that thing alone.”

“ _You_ need to stay here,” he said sharply. “You’re too important to risk. I’ll be right back.”

He rushed forward sending another protection barrier over Cassandra to replace the one which had worn off and then summoning what looked like a large fist made of stones to hit the demon in the chest making it stagger back. Cassandra used her heavy shield to follow up with a similarly forceful blow to its stomach. It lunged at the warrior only to be struck in the face with a ball of frosty magic, it growled swiping at Cassandra so she backed off another few steps. Then with a growl it raised both arms up, long tendrils of flickering violet light appeared from its hands like slender crackling ropes. Whips I realised, whips bathed in crackling electricity. It sent both lashes out towards the elven Mage who flung himself to the side to avoid them, landing half sprawled on the ground.

Which was when the Pride demon charged forward, head down arms pumping at its sides. Like a freight train heading right towards Solas.

“LOOK OUT!” I shrieked in warning.

Solas had time to summon a small blue barrier in front of him, this one forming like a shiny blue transparent dome before a heavy plated demon arm back handed him into a nearby fallen pillar. The barrier seemed to break instantly and Solas struck the twisted stone with a grunt before crumpling to the ground. Unmoving.

“SOLAS!” I screamed running forward, only to have Cassandra race ahead of me gaining the demons attention with a loud yell and nasty slash to its back, drawing a line of thick black blood across its lower back. It turned to her and she rolled beneath its out stretched arm backing up, leading it away from the fallen man.

I ran forward toward Solas’s prone form. He was breathing, chest rising and falling steadily, but there was a nasty gash on his pale forehead already oozing a lot of blood. Head wound, I knew they tend to bleed a lot and could end up being quiet serious. Everything else I could see looked uninjured. I gingerly rolled the elf into a more comfortable position cautious of any injury he may have that I couldn’t see, I called his named and gently tried to rouse him to no use. He needed a hospital, scans and proper treatment that I doubted was even available in this world let alone the vicinity. I didn’t even have anything on me to use for basic first aid.

_Shit! What do I do?!_

I looked around desperate. Varric was running up and taking aim at the Pride Demon trying to provide Cassandra some assistance. Leliana and her soldiers had managed to drive the other demons back from The Breach but they were struggling to keep rank, there were too many. A few more soldiers lay unmoving on the ground. Nobody was able to come and help me with Solas. I was on my own.

We were losing. Badly. We wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. They would all be killed, hell people were already dying. And I was sitting here, unable to do anything to help. I needed Solas’s help to close The Breach but he was currently out of commission. I had to do something anything….. But I was useless, I wouldn’t even be a good distraction against this number of demons….

_“When you engaged the Rift the demons became agitated, distracted.”_

Lelianas words came back to me like a strike of lightning….Maybe I could help.

I got up shakily, giving Solas one last concerned look before turning and running towards the Rift.

I may not be able to close it completely by myself but I could try, by doing so I may just be able to give the others the distraction they need to take out the demons, maybe even retreat. I knew this wouldn’t end well for me but if this went on I was going to die anyway. Maybe I could save a few lives before I did.

Ignoring a cry from Varric I reached out to the Rift. I made the connection again and the world around me seemed to almost disappear, all that was important was the shifting green crystal cluster above me and the vast hole in the sky beyond. My opponent. I started my own battle, a tug of war over my life force. The Rift wanted my life force to stay open, to expand. I wanted it to close the rip between two worlds, for all this to end. To protect the people here. I struggled for what seemed like an eternity. Push and pull, pull and push.

I concentrated, beyond the Rift I was only mildly aware of the noises around me, the sounds of battle. My vision blurred a little at times and my legs trembled and shook beneath me. But I stood and held my ground. I had too. I was the only one who could end this and I was ending it now one way or another. While I was closing the Breach the demons couldn’t focus, they were vulnerable and my companions were safer. I would stand strong. The Rift would not win. It was taking everything I had… but it was working, the Rift was wavering

One last push, one last force of effort. It would work. I would close it even if it killed me. It would close. It fought, like I wild animal in a snare and I knew I was reaching the very last of my reserves. Nonetheless my will had to be stronger. It would close.

_Close, just close. Please no more, no more death just close. Close damn it!_

And then something gave way...

The flash of sudden green light that flooded the area was blinding. A force like that of a launching rocket threw me across the stone yard to land hard on my back expelling the air from my lungs.

I couldn’t move, my limbs felt like lead, even my face seemed to feel heavy and numb. All I could do was look up as the flash of light travelled upwards towards The Breach like a fiery green comet before spreading out throughout the sky. I watched it spread, literally unable to look away as my vision blacken round the edges and everything went quiet.

_I hope it worked,_ I thought fuzzily as my world turned dark. _Dying to save a world, even one that wasn’t mine was a noble thing I suppose, but dying for nothing would be a waste. ‘Heroic deeds are only brave if they succeed, otherwise it’s just plain stupidity’. My grandma used to says that…. My parents…… they wouldn’t even know what happened to me_ ….. My throat felt tight.

_I would never see them again. Mums kind smile, my dad’s clever eyes behind his glasses, my brothers cocky smirk._

I wondered if they’d ever forgive me…… for not making it home.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*##*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*# 

_ Solas _

Solas’s head was ringing as he came to, the sounds of battle still echoing around the ruined temple. Raising himself up shakily onto his forearms he instinctively took a quick assessment of the situation. The soldiers were closing in on a handful of remaining Shade demons, while an injured Cassandra attacked the Pride demon with assistance and cover from Varric. All the demons seemed be behaving strangely, moving in odd disjointed and agitated ways, distracted almost.

Turning around he realised the reason almost straight away.

There under The Breach, Evelyn stood with her left hand stretched upwards a look of fierce determination etched across her face as green light channelled from the mark on her hand to the Rift above. She was trying to close The Breach herself, the interference in the Rift was causing the demons to become confused and distracted like earlier.

Solas was stunned. She had to know trying to close it herself was suicide, was she deliberately risking herself in the hope of giving the others a chance to defeat the demons?

Stumbling to his feet he intended to run forward to lend his mana to the prisoner only to stagger sideways as a wave of dizziness overcame him. Raising his hand to his forehead it came away thick and sticky with blood. He cursed in Elven and channelled a small amount of healing magic to overcome the side effects of his head injury.

“Evelyn!” he called hoping to get the girl to pull back long enough to wait for his assistance. From the look on her face though she didn’t hear him, in fact she didn’t look like she was seeing or hearing anything other than the Rift that held all her attention. Looking at her carefully the Mage could see the girl was unnaturally pale and looked to be shaking were she stood. That wasn’t good. He’d seen that look many times in his journeys when Mages pushed themselves too far, she was at the end of reserves and her strength was failing.

As he watched two of the remaining Shades were making their slow progress towards the distracted girl, occasionally jerking or lunging in the wrong direction. He was too far away, almost out of mana himself to be of any assistance.

Hearing a shout Solas turned in time to witness Cassandra pulling her sword from the Pride demons chest while it toppled forward onto its front and slowly began to flake away. Defeated.

And suddenly the world was bathed in a blinding flash of green light and a loud rumble of energy seemed to flood the area, the force of which sent dust and debris frying outwards. Solas was forced to stumble back a step and couch down, using his forearm to shield his face, as the remaining people struggled to keep their feet.

The ruins turned silent and Solas looked up to find the Rift was still present but no longer active, all the remaining demons were dissolving and flaking away as the surviving soldiers took stock of their injuries and that of their comrades. It was over.

Heavy booted footstep disrupted the almost peaceful silence as Seeker Pentaghast ran forward, dropping her weapons and hurriedly kneeling down beside a crumpled form on the ground.

Evelyn, he realised with a start. Hastening forward himself as he watched Cassandra leaning over the girl assumedly listening for a heartbeat. Panic gripped tight in the elf’s chest. She couldn’t be dead, the mark, the ancient power behind it was necessary. It couldn’t be lost now.

“Solas quickly!” the Seeker ordered fiercely as he approached, falling down besides the two women.

The prisoner was deathly pale, eyes closed lips partly open. She was laying sprawled on her back, strange clothes torn and her skin scrapped. Golden hair lay tangled and loose about her head. She looked almost frail. The light dusting of freckles across her checks standing out against too pale skin making her seem too young to be lying on a battle field like this.

A gruff voice spoke from behind as her reached out to assess her.

“Is she-?” Varric trailed off seemingly unable to continue.

“She’s breathing,” answered Cassandra sending Solas a worried look. “But it’s shallow, and her heart beat is very faint.”

The Mage scowled, holding a pale elegant hand over the girls’ chest and concentrated on sending healing magic into his hands. Physically he could detect nothing more than some deep bruises and cuts. There was however a more pressing issue he could sense.

He fought back the urge to curse and hastily rummaged in the leather pouch at his waist. “Foolish girl. She is drained, almost completely of all energy. She barely has enough to keep her heart beating.”

He found what he was looking for and pulled out a potions flask about the size of his palm filled will shimmering blue liquid.

“Lyrium potion?” Cassandra questioned.

“It may give her enough vitality to survive this while she recovers,” he replied. “Help me sit her up.”

With Cassandras help they were able to prop up the unconscious girl enough that Solas could administer the potion.

“Will that work?” Varric asked fiddling nervously with his crossbow.

“With a bit of luck,” Solas replied gently lowering the unconscious girl back to the ground before pocketing the empty vial for reused. The potion was meant to restore mana to Mages when they used to much, however a person’s life force and mana were eerily similar and tightly intertwined. And given how the girls’ life force was already so entwined with the magic of the mark… It would hopefully be enough to keep Evelyn from dying while her body and soul recovered by itself.

“What of The Breach?” Cassandra asked looking up. “It is still there, the mark didn’t work after all.”

Varric shock his head ruefully. “And the poor kid tried so hard to close it. What do we do now?”

Solas looked up and concentrated on the Fade. “It’s not closed, but it is no longer growing. Evelyn, it seems, while not able close The Breach entirely has bought us some time by halting its spread. After being connected to it I believe I’ve underestimated the amount of power needed to repair the hole in the Veil. Even with my power added to the mark I doubt we would have been able to seal it completely. We will likely need the same force of power as was used to create The Breach in the first place.”

“And where would we come by that? We don’t even know what caused The Breach in the first place let alone what powered it.” Varric scoffed throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Cassandra sighed, suddenly the warrior looked extremely worn and tired. “A problem for another time I think. We need to regroup. And we need to rest. There is a lot to be decided in the next few days.”

“Agreed,” said Solas. Looking down at the mysterious girl lying before him. The key to closing The Breach, a women supposedly from another world. And he had thought his life couldn’t get any more complicated. Running a pale hand over his face Solas let out a barely audible sigh of his own. “For now we need to get your prisoner back to Haven and to a healer. I suspect when she wakes we will have much to discuss.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Solas point of view!!!  
> A massive thank you to the people who have read and liked this story it means so much, and those who have Bookmarked it..... just wow!


	7. No One Expects An Inquistion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Herald of who now? I thought bewildered as the elf finally stood up from her bow, only to begin backing away, intent on a hasty exit.
> 
> Evie wakes up in Haven post failing to close The Breach and has a life changing decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many Hits! This is scary.  
> Warning a lot of game dialogue in this chapter and the next, all credit to Bioware.  
> I most likely wont be able to post a new Chapter until a few days after Christmas because, well its Christmas and things get mad this time of year.  
> So in that case to all you out there I hope you have a Merry Christmas or Happy Holiday depending on what you celebrate :)  
> Eat, drink and enjoy time spent with family and friends, life goes by too fast to spend it stressing all the time so just enjoy a little break with the ones you love.

## No One Expects An Inquisition ##

The room smelt odd. Smoke from a wood fire mixed strangely with a damp musty scent I couldn’t place. I was comfortably warm and cosy, only just on the verge of wakefulness and all too willing to just wriggle further under the covers and fall back to sleep. If it wasn’t for the incessant nagging feeling that something important was going on that demanded me to be conscious.

With a resigned sigh I opened my eyes slowly and looked about the room.

From the light streaming in from a few small windows I knew it to be day time out side, the window sill was lined with snow something I was not used to seeing. It was rather pretty I thought fuzzily still muddled with sleep. I realised the area I was in was more of a small cabin than a room, the walls were made sturdy logs packed tight together and the floor was paved with stone and covered in numerous rugs or animal furs. The bed I was sleeping in was slightly larger than a single and pushed up against one of the walls to preserve space, a large fire place burned from the back wall, the orange flames crackling and dancing happily and making the bed feel extra toasty, someone must have been in regularly feeding it logs to keep it going. Across the cabin stood a small table with a few simple wooden chairs, behind it a book shelve that held an small assortment of novels and other miscellaneous objects was tucked up against the wall. On the small bedside table there was a large bowl of water with a small wash cloth hanging of the side, an unlit candle half melted in a metal dish, a pewter jug and a simple mug made from clay and polished with glaze.

Seeing the jug I became very much aware of how dry my mouth felt. Sitting myself up in the bed I let the heavy blanket fall to my waist and poured myself some water. It tasted heavenly and crisp for my parched throat and I downed it in record time. I quickly helped myself to a second, sipping this one more slowly as I took stock of myself.

I was alive, which was actually a pleasant surprise. I didn’t think I would wake up after my attempt to close The Breach, not with how completely and utterly drained I’d felt. I was sure I’d never wake up again. Yet here I was, alive. Granted I still seemed to be living in an alternate world but at least I was living at all.

_One problem at a time right?_

I assumed I was currently in one of the simple buildings I’d briefly seen at Haven, another pleasant surprise seeing as I wasn’t locked in a cell. I wondered why that was, not that I wasn’t happy about it, waking up in chains was an experience I wasn’t keen on experiencing twice. But given my circumstances it seemed strange that I wasn’t at least under armed guard.

_What had happened while I was sleeping?_

Well there was only one way to find out.

Swinging my legs from the bed I was stunned to see someone had dressed me in a long shin length white nighty. It was very modest, with a simple neckline and long billowy sleeves, trimmed with a small amount of elegant lace. Very old fashioned, well for my world it would have been at any rate. Not very flattering. I flushed red and tried to push away the thought of someone dressing and washing me while I slept. I was happier ignoring that. Denial was my friend.

_Nobody had seen me vulnerable and naked, nope no one. It was probably magic._

The stone beneath my feet was warm from the fire and I took pleasure in the small fact that I could still feel the warmth and smooth surface beneath my toes. I was alive. I felt like cheering. While I was still stiff and tired I had no major aches or pains, only the scarred green mark which remained on my left palm was any source of discomfort as it tingled and pulsed intermediately. Looking down to my leg I saw that the place where I had been hit by the spirit fire was now just a small patch of slightly pink skin, like that of a light sunburn. Solas’s ointment must have really worked well, it didn’t even look like I’d have a scar.

Thinking of the elf I started to feel anxious. Last I knew he was out cold post a horrendous blow from that demon.

_Was he ok? What about Cassandra and Varric? And had the Breach been sealed?_ I had so many question that needed answering.

Just as I made a move to rise from the bed the door to the cabin opened and slight figure walked briskly in fussing over a box of jars and bottles in her arms. When she looked to see me sitting on the side of the bed she let out a startle squeak and promptly dropped the box so it landed on the cabin floor with a clatter.

“OH! I didn’t know you were awake I swear.” She stuttered her large eyes going even wider. She was very slender, dressed in tight brown leather pants and a high collared sleeveless tunic, apart from some cloth partially wrapped around her feet they were strangely bare, just like Solas had been. Her face was sharp and angled and her brown hair was cut short showing of long pointed ears. I found myself smiling happily at her. Another elf, I was beyond curious about the different species here. In my own world there was only humans, never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought I might one day actually meet and talk to real live elf, or dwarf for that matter. I wanted to know everything I could about them.

Which was why I was disappointed and horrified when the elf maiden dropped to her knees in front of me, bowing her head down as if in worship… or fear.

“I beg your forgiveness and your blessing,” she pleaded. “I am but a humble servant.”

I stood up shaking my head and hands in a negative gesture, absolutely mortified. “No please don’t do that. Its ok I’m not going to hurt you or anything. You don’t need to do that.”

She stayed down, speaking to the floor. “You are back in Haven my lady. They say you saved us. The Breach stopped growing just like the mark on your hand.”

“It’s still there,” I murmured miserably feeling disappointed. “I didn’t close it.”

“You stopped it though. It’s all anyone has talked about for the last few days,” she gushed still looking at the ground.

“Sooo they’re not mad with me?” I said in disbelief.

“They say you saved us. The ‘Herald of Andraste’ they’re calling you.” She replied almost reverently.

_Herald of who now?_ I thought bewildered as the elf finally stood up from her bow, only to begin backing away, intent on a hasty exit.

“I’m certain Lady Cassandra would want to know you’ve wakened. She wanted to see you right away?”

“Oh, ok then. Where she is?” I was disappointed, I didn’t want to be scaring away the people here. But at the same time the thought of seeing Cassandra and making sure she and the other were ok took precedence.

“She’s in the Chantry with the Lord Chancellor. ‘At once’ she said.” And with that the elf practically ran from the cabin, tripping over herself in her haste and I was left staring after her.

_What the hell had just happened?_

Shaking my head to clear it I decided the quicker I found Cassandra the quicker I got some answers about what was going on. Looking around the room I found a pile of neatly folded clothes perched on a small stool near the fireplace. Including a pair of cappuccino colour pants, a soft long sleaved white tunic, brown leather lace up vest and a few delicate under things and socks. I wondered briefly with concern what had been done with my own clothes as I pulled everything on. I know it was just a dress and cardigan and that they would most likely be inappropriate and unpractical to wear here, but they were mine and the only things of my own world I had with me here. I wanted them back, but was content to make do with what I was given for the moment.

The pants were soft but made of surprisingly stiff material, they fit like a pair of perfectly worn skinny jeans; tight enough to hug every curve but not so tight to restrict movement or make you feel uncomfortable. The tunic fell to mid-thigh with a slit up either slide up to my hips, the vest went over the top and bought the tunic in at the waist so is wasn’t so shapeless. I felt like I pirate. By the door to the cabin there was a pair of tall leather lace up boots and the same leather coat I’d been given by Cassandra, the tail of it still marked by fire. I pulled both on and finger combed my hair so it wasn’t a complete mess, when I was all made up and dressed I went out into Haven.

I shivered and huddled into my coat, it was much colder out here. The air was crisp and icy though the sky was clear and blue instead of angry and stormy like before, the Breach the only thing marring the heavens. With a quick look around my surroundings I picked out the large stone structure of what I believed to be the Chantry in the distance and made my way forward.

It was a different experience walking through Haven now than when I’d first been escorted through as Cassandras prisoner. The people who had once sent me hateful glares and threatening comments were looking at me with awe and reverence, some even throwing themselves into a bow or curtsy. I wasn’t sure which I preferred, this kind of attention was rather uncomfortable, especially hearing whispers referring to me as their saviour or the ‘Herald of Andraste’. I hadn’t saved them. I’d been all but useless, and The Breach was still in the sky threatening their world.

Making my way up the small set of stone steps I pushed open one side of the heavy wooden doors of the Chantry. The hall I walked into was the size of my old high school assembly hall, just shy of two basketball courts lying side to side. Beautiful wooden pillars and arches lined the sides of the hall, lit by large iron candle holders I could see simple strong designs carved into the wood. Large golden statues of the same women in flowing robes in various poses were placed strategically against the arches all surrounded by clusters of small candles at their feet. An elegant woven rug in shades of red gold and dark green ran the centre of the hall leading to another set of heavy doors. The place was peacefully empty, apart from the sound of heated raised voices coming from behind those doors.

“Have you gone completely mad?!” a familiar voice was ranting. “She should be taken to Val –Royeaux immediately to be trailed by whomever becomes Divine.”

“I do not believe she is guilty,” followed Cassandras thick accented voice.

“The girl failed Seeker,” Chancellor Roderick pressed, my gut twisting with remorse. “The Breach is still in the sky, for all you know she intended it this way.”

A feeling of cold emptiness seemed to wash over me. Of course it would look that way, I’d conveniently stopped the Breach and saved myself but hadn’t closed it entirely. No wonder he thought me guilty. I probably would too in his position. Maybe I should just make a run for it now…

“I do not believe that.” My heart stopped and swelled as Cassandra came to my defence again.

“It is not for you to decide. Your duty is to serve the Chantry,” said Roderick.

“My duty is to serve the principals in which the Chantry was founded Chancellor. As is yours,” Cassandra sounded like she was ready to hit something.

I took that as my que to enter, act as the distraction before a brawl started. The room was large, the majority of it being taken up by a huge wooden table in its centre. A roaring fire and rustic overhead chandelier providing ample light in a room with only a few small windows. The walls held home to some old and dusty tapestry’s and paintings, a few shields and swords also on display. As soon as I opened the door and came into view Chancellor Roderick was standing and pointing a thick finger into my face yet again.

“Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capitol for trail.” He spat venomously.

I crossed my arms and glared at him. Honestly, that was getting old. Not even a polite ‘hello’ he went straight for the incarceration. _Lovely_.

When a pair of fully armoured guards in shining silver walked up behind me I jumped forward with a startled squeak, backing up to the centre of the room to touch the table.

_Oh boy, they were sending in the knights_ … maybe I really should have made a run for it.

“Disregard that and leave us,” Cassandra said with a dismissive gesture of one hand. She stood on the other side of the table which turned out to be covered in maps and markers. Beside her Leliana stood silently observing, arms crossed, face passive.

The guards obeyed with a quick salute, closing the door behind them. I took a brief moment of pleasure from Rodericks shocked face. Guess he didn’t have as much power as he thought.

He turned his angry face to Cassandra, blotchy heat rising to his cheeks and nose. “You walk a dangerous line Seeker!” he accused.

“The Breach is stable but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it.” She replied sternly.

“I’m sorry,” I piped up timidly. Feeling I should say something to defend myself. “I tried, I did everything I could to close it. I really don’t know how to work this thing, it almost killed me.”

“Yet you live. A convenient result, insofar as you’re concerned,” Roderick sent me a murderous glare.

“Have a care Chancellor,” Cassandra growled with barely contained anger. “The Breach is not the only threat we face.”

Leliana stepped forward, eyeing the Chancellor suspiciously. “Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave, someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others, or have allies who yet live.”

“I am a suspect?!” he spluttered in disbelief.

“You and many others,” Leliana said firmly.

“But not the prisoner!” Roderick looked like he was about to have an aneurism.

“I heard the voices at the temple. The Divine called to her for help.” Cassandra defended.

“So her survival, that thing on her hand all a coincidence?” Roderick argued back.

I frowned. He was right. It was one heck of a coincidence. There had to be more to it, maybe something I had done but forgotten like my missing memories of how I got here. It was all so frustrating.

“Providence,” Cassandra declared simply. Like it was the most obvious answer in the world and solved everything. “The Maker sent her in our darkest hour.”

I choked and sputtered. Fate and coincidence were one thing but Divine intervention? Even after somehow being sent to an alternate world with magic and elves that was going a little far. I would never consider myself a religious person, never having really been raised as such. I just believed in doing what was right. I didn’t need any Gods or church to tell me who and what I should believe in, feeling that so many of them preached more hate than acceptance. Any God that demanded violence or preached inequality was not one I wanted to worship. As long as I didn’t act in malice and behaved morally I figured I was on the right path. Part of me still wanted to believe in a higher power, and maybe there was one once. After all science couldn’t explain everything. Something had to cause the spark that started it all, but maybe if there were gods back on earth they’d left us long ago or they could have lost their godly powers or something. Life was just life, things happened. That was it. Even if there was a Maker in this world, they would not have sent me as a saviour.

No one was that stupid.

“Cassandra… you can’t honestly think I was sent here by …” I hesitated eyeing Roderick, feeling I shouldn’t give away my true origins in front of the man who already wanted me imprisoned, instead I played along with their religion ”… The Maker. Why in the world would any holy being send me?”

“The Maker does as he wills,” she replied evenly. “It is not for me to say.”

“I’m hardly an appropriate saviour, you saw me out there I was next to useless!” I argued. Not to mention not even of this world.

“Never the less no one can deny you were exactly what we needed when we needed it.” Cassandra sounded so sure in her faith.

I wasn’t convinced.

“The Breach remains,” interjected Leliana logically. “And your mark is still the only hope we have of closing it.”

“This is not for you to decide,” growled Roderick again.

Cassandra turn away to retrieve something from a shelf in the corner, she came back slamming a thick heavy book onto the table in front of the Chancellor. Its cover bearing an image of similar to the one on Cassandras mail only with the addition of a downward pointing sword through the flaming eye.

“You know what this is Chancellor,” She said, pointing down to the book. Roderick turned stony faced. “A writ from the Divine granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.”

I watched on lost. _The Inquisition? What exactly was that? What was Cassandra doing?_

She stalked towards Roderick baking him against the door while poking him in the chest with her index finger.

“We will close The Breach,” she declared forcefully. “We will find those responsible and we will restore order. With or without your approval.”

Chancellor Roderick gave us all one last scathing look before stalking out the room slamming the heavy door behind him.

“Well… that went well,” I offered lamely in the resulting silence. I gestured to the book which had cause the holy man such anger. “What is that?”

“This is the Divines directive, rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those who would stand against the chaos.” Leliana explained softly coming to stand over the book. “We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers and now no Chantry support.”

“But we have no choice; we must act now.” Cassandra turned to me. “With you at our side.”

_…. Wait what?_

“Me?” I asked shocked. _Why would they need me?_

Cassandra almost smiled, “Yes you. The people here seem to have already accepted you as their hero. Who better to help us rebuild?”

“Rebuild what?” I asked confused and overwhelmed. “What is this Inquisition of old exactly?”

“It proceeded the Chantry,” Leliana explained. “People who banded together to restore order in a world gone mad.”

“After, they laid down their banner and formed the Templar order,” Cassandra added. “But the Templars have lost their way. We need those who can do what must be done united under a single banner once more.”

“I thought you were part of the Chantry?” I questioned confused.

Cassandra snorted. “”Is that what you see?”

“Honestly I don’t know what I see here.” I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, “This place is so confusing.”

“The Chantry will take time to find the new Divine and then it will wait for her direction,” explained Leliana.

“But we cannot wait,” Cassandra continued. “So many Grand Clerics died at the Conclave… no we are on our own. Perhaps forever.”

What they said made sense and sounded reasonable but I was uncertain. If this was under direction from the late Divine then why was the Chancellor so mad?

“This is sounding like a holy war…” I said cautiously. “I don’t know if I’d want to be a part of starting something like that.”

“We are already at war, you are already involved. Its mark is upon you. As to whether the war is holy, that depends on what we discover.” Cassandra reasoned.

I wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know. I’m not even from this world. It doesn’t feel like it’s my place to intervene in something I don’t understand. And that’s if I can even help!”

“You can go if you wish,” Leliana responded not sounding upset but not pleased either.

Cassandra frowned, “You should know that while some believe you chosen, many still think you guilty. The Inquisition can only protect you if you are with us.”

My eyebrows raised slightly, that sounded almost like blackmail. I shouldn’t be surprised really, I started out as a prisoner to these two. Despite all we’d been through they were still basically strangers. I suddenly felt very hollow and alone.

“We can also help you,” Leliana offered. Possibly sensing my sudden distrust. “I assume you will eventually want to return to your own world. I doubt you will find the answers you seek about your strange circumstances by yourself. You help the Inquisition, we will do what we can to help you get home and keep you safe in the meantime.”

_Oh she was good_.

Leliana had effectively made it impossible for me to refuse offering everything I could possibly have wanted. A way home, a safe place and the chance to help. There was more to this women than I’d realised, she was more than just a sweet face. This lady knew how to manipulate people like a pro. Even though I knew what she was doing I couldn’t refuse her. In all honestly I had nowhere else to go. I could see no other option.

“It will not be easy if you stay,” Cassandra offered. “But you cannot say this hasn’t changed you.”

No, I couldn’t. This whole insane scenario, everything I’d already seen, it scared the living daylights out of me. I wanted to go home, to see my family and friends. Let them know I was ok. Be safe and comfortable. But at the same time that part of me that had always wanted to be the person in the story, wanted to explore the fantastic and magical was swelling with unbridled curiosity and joy. There was an entire new world out there. An apparently I was the only person who could save it.

I turned to Cassandra. She looked at me earnestly, almost pleading. “Help us fix this before it’s too late.”

_Well that did it._

“I said it before didn’t I?’ I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck ruefully. “If I can help I will. Even if joining wasn’t the right thing to do, it seems the Inquisition is my best chance of surviving this world and finding a way home.”

Cassandra held out her hand.

I suppose home could wait a while. After all I didn’t know how to get back yet anyway. And these people needed me…

... _It was nice to feel needed, really needed._

I had a chance to live in a fantasy, to have my own adventure. To do something worthwhile.

I shook the Seekers out-stretched hand and joined the Inquisition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note Evie is a Fictional character, the beliefs she expresses about religion are just a part of her character and back story. No offense was intended to any religion and if any was taken I apologise.  
> Either way I hope you enjoyed.


	8. A Place in Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Of course I am!” I gushed in excitement. “Well not that they’re all dead, that’s tragic. But griffins! They’re just mythical beast were I’m from. Figures from stories and legends. What else is real here? Omigod are there unicorns? What about trolls? DRAGONS!? Please tell me you have dragons. Because that would be just ridiculously awesome!”
> 
> Evie catches up with some of the companions and learns exactly what is expected of her now she's part of the Inquisition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers :)  
> Sorry for the wait.  
> THANK YOU ALL, for all the kudos and for all the hits, you are wonderful.  
> All credit goes to Bioware.

## A Place in Haven ##

The next morning I found myself being woken by a knock on my appointed cabin, the same one I’d woken in yesterday. I rouse groggily to find a young man glad in the already familiar green and orange soldier’s uniform on the other side of my door and listened half asleep as he informed me that I was required at the Chantry.

 _Oh joy._ More excitement.

I told the soldier I’d be there soon and hastily got myself properly dressed, munching on a bowl of luke-warm porridge and some toast while I did. The food had magically appeared on the tiny table in my quarters while I slept in, I guess the servants of Haven thought I would wake up earlier than I had. I wondered briefly as I left the warmth of the cabin whether the busy people of this little town even knew what a sleep in was.

I met up with Cassandra on the steps of the Chantry, the Seeker was wearing a set of leathers and a long coat in various shades of dull purple and brown. It was in the same design as her armour only minus the shiny plate mail, her sword still attached to her hip.

 _Did she ever take it off_ , I wondered internally. _Maybe she slept with it?_

It would be so exhausting always being on guard like she was.

After a quick and pleasant greeting Cassandra lead me through the Chantry and towards the room at the end. Her eyes travelled down to my arm fixing onto the mark glowing against my pale skin.

“Does it bother you?” she asked.

I looked down at my hand, the green energy still flickered and licked under my skin constantly. The continuous pain it caused me had become a background ache that I was slowly getting used to, the occasional spike of agony reminding it was there. It was frightening to have something completely unknown in my body, the key to closing the Rifts literally in my hand.

“I still know next to nothing about it,” I complained. “What it is, how I got it… it’s frustrating and terrifying.”

“We will find out,” she said confidently. “What is important is that your mark is now stable, as is the Breach. You’ve given us time and Solas believes a second attempt may succeed provided the mark has more power. The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “You want to power up something we don’t even understand? Sure why not? What’s the worst that can happen?”

To my surprised the grim faced Seeker smiled at me, “Hold on to that sense of humour, you will likely need it in the coming months.”

“Oh, goody. Something to look forward to,” I sighed running a hand through my hair. I missed coffee.

“You are not a morning person are you?” Cassandras grin widened.

I scowled at her.

We reached the end of the hall and walked into the room at the end. Leliana was already there waiting as were two other people. A dark skinned women with a pretty face and long inky black hair piled atop her head in an elegant bun and dressed in an odd assortment of deep royal blue and shimmering gold ruffles. The other was a rather handsome man, strong square jawed with a small amount of stubble. He had thick blonde hair strategically style back and was wearing a set of shiny armour under a dark cloak and strange fluffy mantle of reddish fur across his shoulders. He was a tall man and the fluffy pauldron made him look all the more intimidating, accentuating a set of broad shoulders. His hand was resting comfortably on a long sword at his waist where as the new women seemed armed with a clip board and quill.

“May I present Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisitions forces.” Cassandra said gesturing to the good looking man. I nodded politely, afraid I’d embarrass myself if I spoke now. God have mercy the man was handsome.

“Such as they are,” his voice was a little rough and his whisky coloured eyes looked solemn as he spoke. “We lost many soldiers in the valley. I fear many more before this is through.”

“This is Lady Josephine Montilyet,” Cassandra continued indicating to the flashy women. “Our Ambassador and chief diplomat.”

“I’ve heard much. It’s a pleasure to meet you at last,” her voice was sweat and flowing, very feminine. Her accent different from one I'd already encounter in this world, like a mix between French and Italian. Maybe she was also originally from another country.

“And of course you know Sister Leliana,” Cassandra added gesturing to where the red head lounged against the wall, arms crossed. The tittle of _'Sister_ ' surprised me a little, she seemed to calculated  and on edge for a Nun.

Her lilting soft voice spoke “My position here involves a degree of-“

“She is our spy master,” Cassandra interrupted seeming in a hurry to be over the introductions.

“Yes,” Leliana breathed out in exasperation. “Tactfully put Cassandra.”

So Leliana was a spy. I knew there was more to the quiet women, something dangerous. At least I was on her side.

“It’s nice to meet you all,” I said politely. “I hope I can be of some help to you.”

“You should know that we have already informed Cullen and Josephine of your… unusual circumstances,” Leliana said watching for my reaction.

“Oh? You mean where I’m from?” I looked shyly at the new arrivals, wondering if they too thought I was mad.

“It was certainly a shock to hear of your claim.” Cullen said his eyes looking me over intently, searching my face for signs of deceit. “Do you stand by your story?”

“It’s no story Commander,” I implored. “I’m not from this world and don’t have any idea how I got here or how to get back. I’m sorry I just don’t remember.”

“You could be playing us for your own purposes, hiding your involvement in the explosion.” He glowered down at me and I realised just how intimidating a man he was. Not only was Cullen good looking enough to make a supermodel feel self-conscious and flustered, he also radiated this overall strength and physical power when he glared. I imagined he was the kind of leader whose troops would look up to and idealise, yet run for cover when they got on his bad side. At the moment I felt like running and I wasn't even on his bad side yet.

Instead I stood firm, meeting his eyes refusing to look away. Pleading with my eyes for them to believe me while my finger fidgeted and hands shook.

“What could I possibly gain from such a bizarre tale no one would believe if it wasn’t the truth?” I reasoned. “If I was doing this to trick you I’d like to think I’d be smart enough to come up with a more believable back story.”

“You can understand our doubt” Leliana said raising a fine eyebrow.

“Of course I do. Even I know how crazy this sounds, but I don’t know what else to tell you. I’m telling the truth.” I replied earnestly.

“You could be insane, delusional.” Cullen said crossing his arms. “Maybe whatever process gave you that mark addled your mind.”

I shrunk back into myself, eyes down cast and burning with unshed tears of frustration.

“I won’t lie the thought has crossed my mind more than once that that’s the case," I admitted. "But it just can’t be. My family, my friends, my job, every little detail of my world… my whole life up until now can’t just be a figment of a fractured mind. It just can’t!”

Everyone else in the room seemed to share significant looks, Cassandra spoke up first.

“We don’t think you are deceiving us,” she said reassuringly. “Though your story opens up a whole new set of questions and problems for us to deal with.”

“You believe me?!” I beamed up at her. Hopeful.

“I do,” she said seriously. “Though we cannot expect others to do the same.”

“The people of Thedas already have a lot to deal with at the moment,” Josephine pipped in. “The Orlessian Civil War, the Mage rebellion, a great hole in the sky, the Divines death… adding to that the possibility of a world beyond our own,” she shook her head sadly. “We would be asking too much to advertise your true origins and inviting more trouble than the Inquisition can afford.”

“So what do I do?” I asked. “If you need me to close the Rifts I can’t just hide away.”

“We keep your circumstances a secret,” Leliana answered sternly. “One only known to the people within this room.”

“Solas and Varric have already been told to keep quiet. Seeing as they also already know. Thankfully they are both agreeable to our plans.” Added Cassandra.

“We have already devised a false past for you to use,” Leliana said walking forward to hand me a folded up scroll. “I have had to… call in a few favours and grease some eager palms but this identity will hold. You will need to memorise it.”

I quickly scanned the parchment. There was surprisingly little to summarise and entire life, just under a page.

“Thank you for this, but I still don’t know anything about this world. I mean literally nothing. Half the words on this I don’t even understand. People are going to notice when I don’t know the names of common places, who is in charge or anything about magic or demons.” I pointed out. I was rewarded with a small snort from Cullen and a disbelieving and concerned look from Josephine.

Leliana smiled indulgently at me.

“Do not worry. We will teach you everything you need to know,” she said.

“It could be a lot,” I cautioned. “Like seriously a lot. I can’t even cook without a microwave or electric oven.”

She smiled, “I think we will be up for the challenge.”

I wasn’t sure I liked the look of that smile.

“Alright then,” I said. “I’m more than willing to learn. But what is it exactly that the Inquisition going to do? Where do we go from here?”

“I mentioned that your mark required more power to close the Breach,” Cassandra said.

“Which means we must approach the Rebel Mages for help,” Leliana spoke strongly.

Cullen didn’t seem happy with that, his brow furrowing deeply.

“I still disagree,” he rumbled darkly. “The Templars could serve just as well.”

“We need power Commander,” Cassandra argued. “Enough magic poured into that mark-“

“Might destroy us all,” Cullen pressed cutting the Seeker off mid-sentence. “The Templars could supress the Breach weaken it so-“

“Pure speculation,” Leliana was the one to interrupt this time.

“I was a Templar,” Cullen said intently. “I know what they are capable of.”

“Unfortunately neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition. And you specifically.” Josephine sighed and pointed her long feathered quill at me. I felt my checks heat and stomach go queasy _._

 _This was my fault then_.

“That didn’t take long,” I muttered darkly. Remembering Chancellor Roderick's venomous parting look yesterday. It wouldn’t come as a surprise if he’d started a movement against me.

“Shouldn’t they be too busy arguing over whose going to become Divine,” Cullen sneered.

Josephine ignored him looking at me still. “Some are calling you the Herald of Andraste and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it a blasphemy. And we heretics for harbouring you.”

I winced. Joining up with the Inquisition was supposed to help things but already I was causing these people trouble just by being here.

“Chancellor Roderick's doing no doubt,” Cassandra added bitterly, echoing my earlier thoughts.

“It limits our options,” Josephine said drawing a harsh line across something in her notes. “Approaching the Mages or Templars for help is currently out of the question.”

“Wait. Back up a second.” I said shaking my hands in front of me. “How exactly did I become the Herald of Andraste? I don’t even know who or what that is.”

Everyone in the rooms’ jaws seemed to drop, their faces ranging from utter horror to disbelief. Josephine seemed to pale considerably.

“Oh… um, did I say something wrong?” I asked awkwardly. _What did I do now?_

“Who or What?!” Josephine stammered. “Who?...She is Andraste, the Makers bride…. She is Andraste. You don’t know of her?”

I shook my head negative afraid if I spoke I would insult someone else. I don’t know what they were all so shocked about, I did warn them I knew absolutely nothing.

“You don’t have the Maker where you’re from?” questioned Cassandra cautiously, like the very idea was beyond comprehension.

“There are a lot of different religions with beliefs in different gods,” I explained carefully. “I don’t know of any that worship a ‘Marker’ specifically. The big religions usually just worship God or variation of at any rate. But there are others. I wasn’t really raised to follow any religion to be honest.”

Leliana sighed, “Another thing we will have to teach you. For now just know that Andrastian is the most prominent faith across Thedas and Andraste was a heroic women who rose to become our prophet and the founder of the Chant of Light.”

“Ok,” I nodded. I think I could follow that. “So why am I her Herald?”

“People saw what you did at the temple,” Cassandra explained shaking off her disbelief in my lake of faith. “How you stopped the Breach from growing. They have also heard about the women seen in the Rift when we first found you. They believe that was Andraste.”

“Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading-“ Leliana started.

“Which we have not,” the spy master frowned at Cassandras interruption. Honestly, these people must have something against letting their colleagues finish a sentence.

“The point is everyone is talking about you.” She finished in a huff.

“That’s quiet the tittle isn’t it?” Cullen said. “How do you feel about that?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “It’s all too much. I don’t even know how I’m meant to feel about it. Is it a good thing to be someone’s herald?”

Cullen let out a short bitter laugh. “The Chantry has decided that for you, it would seem.”

“People are desperate for a sign of hope,” Leliana said. “For some you’re that sign.”

“And to others a symbol of all that has gone wrong,” Josephine added seriously.

I looked at them all, hopelessly overwhelmed.

“Well that’s just great, I’m either being worshiped or hated for a tittle I did nothing to deserve.” I growled frustrated. “I’m just causing you all trouble aren’t I?”

“There is something you can do,” Leliana supplied helpfully. “A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you, she’s not far and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”

I frowned. “Is it the best idea sending me, the Chantry already hate me I don’t want to make things worse?”

“I hear she is a reasonable sort,” said Leliana. “Perhaps she does not agree with her sisters. She is currently in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe, though it may be best if we do not send you out to meet her straight away. It seems we have much to teach you before you’re safe to be out in public.”

I tried not to take offence at that comment. She was right after all.

“We can post pone your departure two maybe three weeks at most,” Josephine said scribbling hastily away at her clipboard. “It doesn’t give us much time but we should be able to cover the basics…. If we are lucky.”

“When do we start,” I asked, feeling a little flicker of excitement. There was so much about this world I wanted to know.

“We start tomorrow,” Leliana declared.

 

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The rest of the meeting consisted of the others talking and strategizing about things I couldn’t possibly begin to understand. Though I tried my best to keep up after a while it began to sound like Charlie Browns teacher. Cassandra may have noticed my wanning enthusiasm and offered to show me back to my cabin to rest.

We walked in comfortable silence through the snowy town until a familiar voice called out.

“Seeker! I was wondering who had stolen away our heroic saviour. I hope you don’t plan on kidnapping interrogating _her_ too.”

“Varric,” Cassandra sighed darkly.

We both turned to see the dwarf smiling broadly from where he crouched by an open fire pit amid a cluster of tents, apparently warming his hand from the chill air.

“Hello Varric,” I said cheerfully. “How are you?”

“Glad to see you up and alert Sunshine,” he answered just as chirpy. “You seem to spend too much time unconscious.”

I laughed. He had a point, I’d been here a week and spent barely two days of it conscious.

“Why are you still here Varric?” Cassandra griped. “You know you are free to leave, you are no longer my prisoner.”

“Aww and miss seeing you smiling face every day, you wound me!” Varric gushed.

Cassandra scoffed decidedly ignoring the dwarf. She shifted restlessly besides me.

“If you want to go do something else Cassandra you can” I offered. “I can find my own way back.”

She seemed to mull it over for a moment before nodding. “I do have a few things that need attending to. Are you sure you’ll be ok to find your way back?”

“I’m not completely helpless,” I retorted crossing my arms defiantly.

“She’ll be fine Seeker. She’s a big girl. Bet she ties her own laces and everything,” Varric added.

Cassandra glared at him but seemed placated. “I’ll come get you tomorrow when we have organised your lessons. If you have any issues go to the Chantry or get one of the soldiers.”

I reframed from answering with ‘ _yes mum._ ’ Instead I just nodded and thanked her. Varric and I both watching as she left.

“Sooo,” Varric said standing himself up and walking towards me. “Now that Cassandra’s out of earshot, are you holding up alright? I mean you go from being the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most people would spread that out over more than one day.”

I gave him a forced smile, “Honesty, I can barely keep up with everything that’s happened. It doesn’t feel like it should be real but it is.”

“That makes two of us.” Varric said sympathetically. “For days now we have been staring up at the Breach watching as demons and maker knows what fall out of it. Bad for morale would be an understatement. I still can’t believe anyone was in there and lived.”

“It was pretty awful,” I agreed deliberately pushing the grisly memories aside. With everything else going on I couldn’t risk dwelling on theses awful images choosing to bury them in the back of my mind to be dealt with at a later date. I quickly changed the subject. “Cassandra said you were free to go though. Are you planning to leave?”

“I’d like to think I am as selfish and irresponsible as the next guy but this…. Thousands of people died on that mountain and I was almost one of them. And now there’s a hole in the sky. Even I can’t walk away and let this sort itself out.” Varric replied oddly serious.

“For what it’s worth I’m glad you’re staying,” I said genuinely happy. “You were good company up on that mountain. Well you and Bianca.”

The dwarf smiled indulgently at me, then frowned darkly.

“You might want to consider running at the first available opportunity,” He said grimly. “I’ve written enough tragedies to recognise where this is going. Heroes are everywhere, I’ve seen that. But the hole in the sky. That’s beyond heroes. We’re going to need a miracle.”

Before I could respond a nearby man called out for Varrics attention holding a small leather bag that jingled slightly. He was wearing a very ticked off sneer. Varric excused himself with an eager grin and I waved a quick farewell turning back down the path heading toward my cabin.

I considered Varrics words as I walked about the snow covered buildings. His warning held a lot of merit. I was no hero and this could very well end very badly for me if I tried to be one. But just like the dwarf I couldn’t just walk away from this.

 _A miracle huh?_ I wondered if it was possible, if such I thing existed or was it all just luck and circumstance. Could my even being here be considered a miracle, or was it just an inconvenience?

Lost in thought I looked up when I almost bumped into a villager carrying a dangerously high stack of crates. With some hasty apologies I turned and started down a dirt road which lead to my cabin….

Or I thought it did, I realised suddenly that the road I was on lead up hill, up some small steps to a little courtyard and while all these wooden buildings seemed to look alike this road wasn’t the one that lead to my cabin. Somehow I’d managed to get turned around. Looking about I could see snow and cabins and busy people. Nothing recognisable as a land mark.

 _Damn…._ I was lost.

I sighed in self-disgust, apparently I _was_ that helpless. I was planning to turn back around and retrace my steps back to Varric when a familiar figure emerged from a cabin off the raised courtyard ahead. His bald head and pointed ears standing out amongst the milling humans.

“Solas!” I called hurrying towards the elf as he turned to face me, practically tripping up the stone steps in my haste. I hadn’t seen him since the battle under the Breach, it was good to see he looked perfectly unharmed post his encounter with the pride demon. Not a scratch on his pale skin.

“The chosen of Andraste,” he said in greeting, one eyebrow creeping up. “The blessed hero meant to save us all.”

“You make it sound as if I should be riding in on some shining steed,” I laughed awkwardly. It was hard to tell if the stoic man was just teasing or openly scorning my unwanted tittle. Did elves even believe in this Andraste?

“I would have suggested a griffon, but sadly they are extinct.” The small twist of his mouth and softening in his eyes suggested he liked the fact I wasn’t taking my tittle seriously. “Joke as you will posturing is necessary.”

My jaw dropped when his words registered in my mind. “Wait! You mean that griffons used to actually exist here! You’re kidding right?”

He laughed. “You seem incredibly pleased by this.”

“Of course I am!” I gushed in excitement. “Well not that they’re all dead, that’s tragic. But griffins! They’re just mythical beast were I’m from. Figures from stories and legends. What else is real here? Omigod are there unicorns? What about trolls? DRAGONS!? Please tell me you have dragons. Because that would be just ridiculously awesome!”

“It seems you enjoy a good story,” he quirked and eyebrow again in amusement.

“You have no idea,” I sighed happily. “I’m often told I spent too much time trapped in my stories and books. It would be nice to learn some new one, you know? Hear about the legends of this world. You wouldn’t happen to know any good ones I could start with?”

I looked up at him hopefully. Solas smiled tolerantly, turning away he looked out over the rustic landscape of Haven.

“I have journeyed deep into the Fade and ancient ruins and battle fields to see the dreams of lost civilizations,” he said his voice soft and hypnotic. “I’ve watched as hosts of spirits clashed to rein-act the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten.”

“So I came to the right person,” I said happily. “It sounds like you’d have plenty to share.”

“Indeed,” he turned back to me, face thoughtful. “Every great story has its heroes, I’m just curious what kind you’ll be.”

Shocked by the sudden serious turn of our conversation I shrunk back into myself.

“I don’t feel like a hero, I feel like a fraud.” I muttered playing with the tips of my braid.

“You shouldn’t, not everyone would have tried to sacrifice themselves the way you did to close the Breach,” He comforted, when I started to argue he cut me off sharply. “Deny if you want but it was a heroic act, one that has given these people some much needed hope. Not all heroes wield magic and swords.”

Even as my chest swelled with pride I flushed in embarrassment at his words. _Wow_ , that was a lot of undeserved praise.

“In saying that it was an incredibly foolish and irresponsible thing to do.” I looked up at the elfs stern voice to see him scowling at me. _Oh boy._ Solas had a mean angry face, almost as bad as the Commanders. “You hold a very ancient and rare power in your hands, one that is required to save this world and cannot be replaced. I hope you will be more careful with it from now on.”

He was right. I had acted recklessly. I swallowed dryly and nodded, “Yeah… sorry. I will be more careful I promise. Sorry.”

My answer seemed to placate him as he went back to smiling warmly.

“Good, I am pleased to hear it. I’m sure you have other questions”

I did, more than he could possibly answer in a lifetime. And questions were a great way to diffuse the awkward air between us post my sudden reprimanding.

“You said you study ancient ruins and battle fields,” I pried shamelessly curious.

“Any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history. Every battle field is steeped in death. Both attract spirits. They press against the Veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds. When I dream in such places I go deep into the Fade and find memories no other living being has ever seen.” He explained.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Sleeping in abandoned ruins seemed a little unsafe to me.

“I do set wards,” he smiled. “And if you leave food out for the giant spiders they are usually content to live and let live.”

“Giant spiders?” I felt I bit sick at the thought. Griffons I could deal with at least they were kind of majestic. Spiders…. _Urgh_. I don’t think I wanted to know.

He laughed, “Yes spiders. I see that bothers you.”

I shuddered, “No… Maybe….Yes… just yuck. All those legs.” I shook myself out of my horror spiral. “Do all Mages do that? Learn about the past in their dreams? It sounds incredible.”

“It’s not a common field of study no. Most distrust the Fade, for obvious reasons. It’s not as flashy as throwing fire or lightening, but the thrill of finding remnants of a thousand year old dream…” Solas seemed to sigh contently. “I would not trade it for anything.”

“That does sound amazing,” I agreed. “We’re lucky to have you with us. Me in particular, I get the feeling not many Mages would have been able to keep this thing from killing me. Thank you again for that by the way. Don’t think I’ll ever really be able to properly pay you back but I’ll try.”

“You are most welcome,” he said before straightening his shoulders and looking out across the town again, face serious. “I will stay then. At least until the Breach is closed.”

“You were thinking of leaving?” I couldn’t help frowning, for some reason his leaving didn’t sit well with me.

“I am an apostate Mage surrounded by Chantry forces in the middle of a Mage rebellion,” he dead panned. “And unlike you I do not have a divine mark to protect me, Cassandra has been accommodating but you understand my caution.”

I suppose I could, but it didn’t seem fair.

“You came here to help of your own free will, surely that goes in your favour. Even if it didn’t you saved my life, I’ll make sure they don’t try anything.” I said firmly.

“Oh and how would you stop them?” He seemed to be teasing me.

I flushed red and scowled. “I don’t know, however I had to. It be wrong if they locked you up just for being a Mage.”

He paused, seeming shocked by my determination. He looked at me closely, scrutinizing me.

“Thank you,” the elf said eventually.

“Um… you’re welcome.” I offered stupidly.

He chuckled and shook his head, “Was there anything else ‘Herald.’ You seem to be burning with questions.”

“I do have a lot to ask,” I admitted as I shivered in my coat. “But first you wouldn’t happen to know the way back to my cabin would you? I sort of got lost.”

Solas laughed out loud, throwing his head back in mirth. He walked forward and placed a hand lightly on my back steering me back down the steps. “Come. I will take you back. I wouldn’t mind hearing some of your own stories if you are willing.”

I smiled and let him lead me forward. “Seems only fair.”

 _At least I wasn’t alone here_ , I thought as Solas lead me back to my temporary home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, again a bit of in game dialog to set up the plot, the next few after this are more original but I'm going to try a pace out my chapters otherwise I'll run out of things to post while I finish writing.


	9. Adapting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Someone tried to kill me,” I breathed weakly, dumb founded as I played back the events in my head. “Jesus Christ I was saved by a rock!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Thank you so much for the Kudos.  
> As always I hope you enjoy.

## Adapting## 

 

I spent the next three weeks slowly adjusting to my new environment and being tutored about anything and everything of importance in the world of Thedas. My new allies all playing their part.

Leliana taught me everything I needed to know about the Chantry and the Chant of Light, making me read out Andrastes story until I could recite it by heart. When I’d done religious education in primary school I’d often find myself getting distracted and day dreaming, the dull drone of my teacher almost putting me to sleep. In contrast leaning about the Andrastian Faith was a bit more interesting. If I thought of the religion like a story from a novel it made it easier to remember and frankly more enjoyable to learn. This subject was particularly important as it tied in with my fictional past, another of the spy masters lessons.

“Once more,” Leliana’s lilting voice would dictate from across the room where she preferred to stand, able to see anyone and everyone who entered the small room we used under the Chantry hall. “Introduce yourself.”

“My name is Evelyn Treval,” I replied evenly for the fourth time that day. She had decided using as much of my real past and incorporating it into my fictional one would make it easier for me to remember and harder for people to detect the lie, my real name was one of the things I got to keep. “I’m from a small town call Hambleton on the outskirts of Markham originally.”

“And what bought you to Ferelden?” she would question, she was very good at acting like a curious stranger. It was almost unnerving.

“I came here to join the Chantry. I was thinking of becoming a Sister.”

“Why not join in the Free Marches?”

“I wanted to get away from my homeland,” I said.

“Really? What of your family?”

“I lost them,” I would say, it wasn’t hard to pretend to be heartbroken seeing as this part was almost true.

“Oh my,” Leliana would coo. “That’s dreadful, how?”

“Bandits,” I would reply simply before adding. “I’m sorry it’s hard for me to talk about what happened. After the incident I looked for support and answers in the Chantry.”

“Well done,” Leliana praised coolly, she was always glad when I didn’t give too much detail. The more elaborate the lie the more likely I was to stuff up.

“And how did you end up at the Conclave?”

“I wanted see what good the Chantry could do before I joined, if I was right for it. I was given permission to watch the proceeding as a guest of Sister Joy from Markham. She was an old family friend.”

“Sister Joan…” she had correct firmly before continuing with another lesson.

Josephine had the hardest job, trying to teach me about the different countries and rulers and fractions within them. She would spend long periods with me in what had been dubbed ‘The War Room’ pointing out lands on the maps and explaining the local hierarchy. Her focus mostly on Orlais and Fereldin. I found it harder to learn this topic. _Was a Bann higher up in station than a Lord? And was that the same as being a Viscount in the Free Marches or Duke in Orlais?_ It was all very confusing, but to her credit Josephine was a patient and enthusiastic teacher. I was in awe of the way she handled herself around the visiting dignitaries and diplomats. She had an air of calm authority about her when addressing these people and could bargain with them like no ones business. Josephine was also the queen of making the Inquisition look good.

Cassandra had been put in charge of teaching me about important past events and history; wars, takeovers, conquering’s, natural disasters and the likes. I was horrified when she explain what a Blight was and how armies of nightmarish creatures call darkspawn would occasionally come up to the surface and basically trapes across the land destroying everything. Apparently Fereldin was still trying to recover from the last one just under a decade ago. By the sounds of this places bloody history it was a miracle there was anyone still left alive in Thedas.

Cullen had the job of teaching me about the Templar order and the Mage Circles, as a former Templar himself he was best suited to teaching me the ins and outs. After listening to the Commanders talks my enthusiasm for magic diminished to disappointment and regret at what the poor Mages had to live with. I found out magic was a double edged sword, the Mages having great power at their fingertips and could do so much and yet they were in constant risk of possession by demons or losing control of their gifts. I could understand the fear they sent to the regular people, Cullen’s tales of Abominations and Blood Mages and evil magics were terrifying. But at the same time I mourned the loss of the Mages freedom in the Circles, they didn’t ask for their powers, not every Mage was corrupt. And yet they were all treated as such, feared and ostracized. Locked away from the outside world and watched like prisoners until it their gifts were deemed convenient. It made me sad. The Commander admitted that often Mages were mistreated in the Circles, something he did not condone but not something easily fixed.

“Templars are supposed to protect Mages,” he explained gruffly. “From others and themselves. That was our purpose. However over the ages that purpose has become twisted. Many Templars see themselves as jailors rather than protectors, lording there power over their charges.”

“I hate to say it Commander, but I can see why the Mages rebelled.” I admitted. “The Circles sound awful.”

“I agree,” Cullen said sadly. “One of the reason I left the order was because I realised my own part in the disaster at Kirkwall. Not all Circles were like this of course, just like how not all Templars are corrupt but the system is broken and needs to be fixed. The Circles should be a safe place for Mages where Templars can protect them from themselves. Though given the state of this rebellion and the disaster of the Conclave I doubt a peaceful solution will be found anytime soon.”

While Cullen wasn’t a bad teacher by any means, I much preferred Solas view of magic as he taught me about the Fade, sprits and a small amount on elven culture and anything else I could think to ask him. The way Solas spoke of magic made it seem wonderful again, seeing as he never spent time in a Circle he showed no fear or distrust of his gift. He was all too willing to demonstrate his abilities away from the suspicious and prying eyes of Havens town people. The elven apostate would visit me every morning to check on the mark on my hand and most of the time would end up sitting with me for breakfast as we traded stories. As enamoured with this world as I was Solas seemed equally fascinated about my own world. And he wasn’t the only one, Leliana and Varric both seemed to take any given opportunity to ask me about my home.

Varric hadn’t been tasked with any of my teachings but even so the dwarf had taken it upon himself to explain about life in general in Thedas, basic and useful things to help me get by. “The important stuff” he had said with a wink. This involved teaching me about the currency, different types of alcohol and sports, holidays and special calendar days and a card game called Wicked Grace. Varric to my greatest joy, was also an avid believer in learning through stories and boy did he have stories. The day I found his name penned under the title of a book left in my homework pile by Cassandra I had practically skipped to the tavern begging Varric to tell me the story himself. The Dwarf had laughed and made a comment about how Cassandra must have had two copies of his work seeing as this one didn’t have a knife stuck in it. I gained a new respect for the crossbow wielding dwarf and his old friends after hearing extracts from ‘The Tale of the Champion.’

For the first few days my time in Haven was actually pretty amazing, as long as I pushed my home sickness and worry about my family to the very back of my mind of course. I was interested in everything and the people around me all seemed kind and helpful if a little too reverent at times. There was a lot of things I missed from my home world, electricity, internet, modern plumbing…. Chocolate bars. But Thedas seemed to have its own little wonders and answers to meet all my needs and keep me entertained. There were fires to keep warm and wood ovens to cook over, the baths were situated in a small stone building of the side of the Chantry but it was hard work to fill them and keep them warm in the frosty little towns climate. Most people only had one once or twice a week and all other hygiene was done from a warm basin at the bedside or in the freezing waters of Haven’s lake when it wasn’t frozen over…. Which was almost always apparently.

Magic and potions seemed to me to be the most useful and interesting things this world had to offer, though many did not share my view. There were potions for almost everything, illness, pain, healing, to enhance a Mages magic or a warrior’s strength. I was even given a box full of small silvery vials used to ease women’s monthly problems, Josephine explained kindly that taking one a month would act as a contraceptive and also make it so my cycle would only last a day which was a blessing because Thedas didn’t stock Libra sanitary pads or U tampons. I finally realised where the term “being on the rag” came from... literally. The only side effects were worsening stomach cramps and headaches during the cycle and if I wanted to have a child I would have to wait about eight months post stopping the potions. Honestly not much of a problem in my book, having no intention of having a baby anytime soon in any case.

This place was pretty amazing, if it wasn’t for the whole end of the world drama going on I could almost imagine I was on holiday in an exotic fairy-tale. Unfortunately the reality of my situation came back to bite me on the ass and knock me out of my comfort zone on the eve of my third night while on my way to the tavern to meet with Varric.

Having finally got the lay out of the small town I was walking along the narrow dirt road towards The Singing Maiden, past a large run of Inquisition tents. The sun was just beginning to set behind the mountains turning the sky a strange mix of pink, orange and Breach green. I was staring up and admiring the interesting horizon when I tripped and stumbled on a loose stone jutting out from the dirt. I wavered and regained my balance feeling a hot sharp pain on my left shoulder as something whistled passed before embedding itself in the side of the tavern with I dull thump. I only had a moment to look up at the feathered end of an arrow shaft when someone large and heavy tackled me to the ground and covered my body with their own.

“Stay down!” A rough voice growled in my ear.

I recognised the voice immediately, twisting my head around and blowing away a fluffy red mantle from my mouth I addressed the Commander with a confused breathless squeak.

“Cullen?! What’s going on?”

The way Cullen held himself showed he was being careful not to squash me flat but the unyielding steal of his breast plate and over all bigness was making me feel very constricted. I was hard not to struggle out from under him in a panic.

There was a distant sound of a scuffle then a cry of pain. It wasn’t until someone called out “all clear” did the Commander let me up from the dirty cold ground and look me over with concern.

“Makers breath that was too close,” he growled before frowning darkly and looking directly at my shoulder. “You’ve been hurt.”

When I raised my hand to the stinging limb it came away red with blood. I stared in shock putting two and two together. Over Cullen’s shoulder a small group of Leliana’s agents stood around a crumpled body lying in a heap further down the road, dressed in black leathers with a broken bow laying in the snow close at hand.

“Someone tried to kill me,” I breathed weakly, dumb founded as I played back the events in my head. “Jesus Christ I was saved by a rock!”

“We need to get that looked at,” Cullen said eyeing the wound with concern. “Can you stand?”

I nodded mutely and let the Commander help me to my feet and guide me hastily down the road, past the tavern towards Solas’s courtyard. It was just a cut, it stung like hell but it wasn’t like the arrow was still embedded in my shoulder so I didn’t understand the Commanders rush. Even so I let him lead me, numb and shocked. We quickly passed by the Solas’s appointed cabin and walked straight into the Apothecary next door which was run by a grouch of a man named Adan.

The middle aged man was talking with a young women when we walked in, dressed in a set of old blue robes Adan wore his greying black hair shaved close to his skull and his handle bar moustache long and scruffy, it often stood on end due to the alchemists frustrated fingers constantly pulling or twirling. I’d met him twice before, the first time to introduce myself and have the man give me a quick check up seeing as he was playing as the Inquisitions make shift doctor, he had been keeping tabs on me during both of my unconscious episodes with Solas’s assistance. While some Mages had the ability to heal it was tricky to gift to master and magic couldn't fix everything, regular doctors and healing methods were still needed. The second  time we'd met was when I ran an errand to help him find some missing notes left behind by his predecessor, Adans preference as an Alchemist was to make potions or grenades that destroyed things in a spectacular manor. Unfortunately the old doctor of Haven had been up at the Conclave when it had exploded. Adan was the only one in the area that came close to taking his place. For what it was worth the Alchemist knew his stuff and was actually a pretty good doctor, however his bed side manor left a lot to be desired. He was short tempered, impatient and rude but at least the brisk man was honest and efficient. He took one look at my pale face and Cullens dark frown and promptly swore harshly under his breath, he quickly shooed the other women from his quarters closing the door behind her.

“What did you do?” he glowered at me while pulling out a chair and making me sit down. I tried not to take his attitude to heart.

“Arrow wound,” Cullen answered for me. “Left shoulder, not to deep but possibly poisoned.”

_Poisoned?_ I suddenly felt light headed. _I could be poisoned!_

“I can see that!” Snapped the older man already cutting open my bloodied sleave to get a better look. “I thought you had people on her!”

“We do,” Cullen replied tightly. I raised a curious eyebrow to which he refused to acknowledge.

_Did Cullen and Leliana have agents following me? Why?_ Haven was under the Inquisitions banner, it was swarming with soldiers and only a moron would try to do any harm here. I couldn’t imagine any place safer.

Adan scoffed going over to his work table to grind up some seeds and add it to a vial of suspiciously yellow looking liquid before putting it over a small flame.

“Lot of good it did her,” He grumbled as he returned and began dabbing my shoulder with a damp cloth, none to gently. “Stop fidgeting, if you think this hurts wait you get the antidote. Honestly, I thought after the first few attempts you were going to put better security on the Herald. Every time someone tries to assassinate her it means more work for me.”

My head snapped up and I looked at Cullen, eyes wide mouth gaping.

“First few!” I repeated horrified. “This has happened before!”

Cullen sent a withering look at the Alchemist who went a shade or two paler and mumbled something under his breath before turning back to his work station.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” he tried to placate me, looking sheepish and rubbing the back of his neck.

“The Hell it is!” I raged, sounding slightly hysterical, “If people are trying to kill me I have the right to know. How many times has this happened?”

Cullen seemed to stutter and refused to look me in the eyes, “A-a few, not many.”

“Three attempts while you were unconscious,” I jumped at the sound of Leliana’s voice as did Cullen, neither of us having realised she had entered the building. “We have intercepted four others since you awoke. This was the first to slip through. My apologies Herald, it won’t happen again.”

“Seven times,” I whimpered. People had tried to kill me seven times already. Now it made eight. I felt oddly hollow.

“What did you find out?” Cullen asked.

“Veteran assassin, not affiliated with any bigger association. Was paid half up front or only a minor amount for such a big contract. But he was a professional, swallowed a deadlock pill so we couldn’t interrogate him,” Leliana replied matter of fact. “He got lucky when one of my agents fell ill and left his post early. He is being sufficiently reprimanded as we speak.”

“Why?” I piped up, finding my voice. “Why are people trying to kill me?”

Cullen looked at me sadly, “There are some who still believe you responsible for the Divines death. Many older families with close ties to the Chantry will be seeking revenge.”

“They may also be agents from whoever was really responsible for the explosion of the Conclave, trying to stop the Inquisition from gaining a foot hold.” Added Leliana. “Or to silence a witness.”

“Oh, nice to know it’s not personal,” I said weakly. My stomach quivered unpleasantly and a felt suddenly hot and clammy. “I think I’m going to be sick…”

Cullen made a move to catch me as a lurched forward only to be pushed out of the way by a red faced Adan.

“Out of the way!” he growled pushing me back into the chair and placing a hand on my forehead. “Fever, poison setting in. Drink this now.”

A small cup full of murky brown liquid was pushed into my shaking hands. It smelt like burned toast, I forced down a mouthful. It tasted like burnt toast too, still warm and gritty.

“All of it girl,” Adan ordered pouring what looked like the remains of the same liquid onto a clean rag. He waited until I’d finished it all before pressing the soaked rag to my wound.

“SON OF A-“ I bit my tongue and whimpered as the potion soaked into the cut, my nails biting into my palms.

_Ow ow ow ow ow OW!_

“Oh don’t be a baby,” the older man groused, pushing the rag deeper into the wound. He pulled out a roll of gauze. “It will need to stay on overnight, I’ll bind it now and replace it in the morning. Take your shirt off so I can get this over with.”

Cullen went red faced, redder than mine if possible. “I’ll.. ah… leave you to it then shall I. Leliana will be able to escort you back to your quarters. Don’t worry Herald, we will take care of this.”

If I wasn’t in so much pain and embarrassment I would have found the Commanders bashfulness adorable, as it was I watched him shuffle from the room with only a small amount of amusement.

“Thank you for saving me Commander,” I called after him earning a crocked smile and dismissive wave from over his shoulder as he left the cabin, probably too afraid to turn around in case he saw me topless. As it was, I only needed to strip down to my bra and slip my left strap off. It was a struggle seeing as moving my left arm felt like someone was stabbing me in the shoulder.

“Hurry up,” barked Adan. “I have better things to do with my time.”

He really needed to work on his bedside manner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be up end of next week.  
> Comments make me feel loved ;)


	10. Conflicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I’m going out into the field and expected to face down demons while closing Rifts wouldn’t it be safer if I can defend myself? Or am I expected just to sit back and pretend to be a tree, hoping no one will notice me while everyone else fights my battles?”
> 
> Evie wants to be of use to the Inquisition, only problem is she didn't realise exactly what fighting will lead to.... killing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Hope you enjoy the next chapter, prepare for a little angst and inner turmoil because Drama!   
> As always thank you for reading and leaving comments or likes, they encourage me to write more and I love you guys for them.

 

## Conflicted ##

 

That night I didn’t sleep well. Apart from the constant fear that ninja assassins may be perched on my roof just waiting to strike, my shoulder was a constant source of discomfort as it stung and I had to get up twice to throw up outside my cabins door, whatever I’d been shot with wasn’t working its way out of my system without a fight. When I did finally sleep my dreams were haunted by faceless shadows stalking my every move and jumping out at me from behind corners.

I knew being a part of the Inquisition was going to be dangerous, I just didn’t account for the Inquisitions enemies targeting me specifically. I was appalled by how helpless I felt, suddenly knowing all this time people had already been trying to kill me and I hadn’t the faintest clue. How could I be of use if I was so utterly in the dark, completely powerless? I didn’t want to be just a tool the Inquisition could pull out from behind them to close a Rift then put away again under guard, lock and key. I wanted to be more than that, to contribute. Which was why the next morning after a return visit to Adan I went straight down to the training field with a request to make of Cullen.

“You want to learn how to use a sword?” he’d said his golden brows furrowing. “I’m not sure the others would approve.”

“If I’m going out into the field and expected to face down demons while closing Rifts wouldn’t it be safer if I can defend myself?” I had reasoned. “Or am I expected just to sit back and pretend to be a tree, hoping no one will notice me while everyone else fights my battles?”

“Cassandra and the others are more than capable of keeping you safe,” he rationalised.

“Because I can’t do it myself,” I retorted earnestly. “What if I find myself alone? If I get separated. Last night if you hadn’t been nearby I’d probably would already be dead. I know I’m not the strongest or most co-ordinated person but I want to learn. I don’t want to be the best I just want to be proficient enough to take care of myself. Or don’t you think I’m capable of doing that?”

“That’s not what I mean” he sighed heavily looking torn.

“Then what did you mean?”

The Commander frowned down at me, “You really want to learn?”

I nodded firmly. I wanted to be useful. I didn’t want to be weak and helpless.

“Alright then let me show you a few things,” he said reluctantly while I forced myself not to fist pump the air and hug him.

“Really?” I beamed up at his troubled handsome face. “Thank you so much.”

The Commander led me over to the training dummies off to the side of where he drilled the soldiers. They were like more solid versions of a scarecrows, picketed up by long spikes of wood and given form by stuffed canvas sacks held into human-ish shape with string and rope. Fishing out a sword from a nearby barrel on the way Cullen tested the weight in both hands before nodding to himself and handing it to me.

“Here, try this one,” he said.

It was slightly longer than my forearm, dented and scratched in places and missing the shiny lustre of Cassandras well maintained blade, the leather grip was worn and falling apart at the ends. This was a weapon that had seen better days, it was surprisingly heavy in my hand. Cullen positioned both my hands on the grip, fixing the position of my palms and fingers until he was happy.

“Now,” he said taking a step back, “Take a few swings at the dummy.”

I did, the blade glancing awkwardly off target the first swing. The dummy barely even rattled. I frowned and tried again with the same result. Cullen came forward and soundlessly fixed my posture and footing. My next few attempts hit better, harder and more accurate.

“Good,” he said, nodding his head approvingly. “Now try to aim like you’re taking on an opponent.”

I swung trying to slash across the dummies chest. I missed spectacularly, almost sending myself to the ground with the momentum. Red faced I straightened myself and tried again.

“If that man was trying to attack you that strike would do nothing to slow him down,” Cullen criticized.

The next time the sword cut into the dummies left shoulder.

Cullen sighed darkly and moved forward to stand in front of me, taking my hands he positioned my sword so the tip was over his own heart.

“Here” he said, his face expressionless, eyes dark and fathomless.

“Um, r-right” I stammered uncomfortably.

“You will want to run your blade right through here. Stopping your enemies’ heart. Unless of course your opponent has plate metal protecting their chest.” Cullen continued. “Then you will want to aim for the throat.”

He pulled me closer placing the sword so it lay flat across his own throat, hard enough that his skin was pressed dangerously against to the blade. I gasped horrified and tried to pull back but he held tight to my hands and looked steely into my face.

“A sword is not a toy,” he said coldly. “It is a tool, it has only one purpose: to injure and to kill. It won’t just be demons you will be using it on either. The majority of opponents you will face will be people; human, elf or dwarf. When someone is attacking you it will be to kill you. Not to play games. Therefore you cannot afford to play with them either. Your goal will be to kill them. If you hesitate or do not follow through you risk your life and that of your comrades. If you are not prepared to take that step then you have no business holding a sword.”

Cullen finally stepped back, I stood mutely staring down at my hand as he took the weapon from my numb fingers.

“I’m not saying this to be cruel,” he said, softly resting a hand on my uninjured shoulder. “But taking another person’s life is a hard thing. You seem like a kind soul Evelyn, one that would not cope well with such a burden. Believe me when I say it is a place you can’t come back from. Think very carefully about whether this is the path you want to take.”

The Commander went back to his troops and I found myself walking back into the small town with my body on auto pilot.

I was pretty much useless during my lessons that day, unable to focus or immerse myself enough to learn anything of use, both Leliana and Josephine dismissing me earlier than normal. Needless to say I didn’t sleep at all that night.

I felt stupid.

_How could I have not realised the bigger picture of what I asked?_

Facing and killing demons was one thing, but other people…. To deliberately hurt another person, to cause them harm, pain. The thought made me feel ill. To actually end another’s life… beyond my imagining. What if they had family, a loved one or kids waiting for them back home? I would be taking away someone’s friend, someone’s family, somebodies loved one. Did I really value myself more than the life of someone I don’t even know? What made my survival more important than theirs? Who’s to say I would be in the right, that someone who died by my hand couldn’t possibly be destined for greater things than I was.

My options were slim, sit back uselessly as others risked themselves for me or train to fight, learn to hurt and to kill.

It all came down to one thing: was I willing to end someone else’s life?

Could I live with that?

 

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I was still wide awake when dawn broke the next day. Instead of kidding myself and attempting to sleep I gave up and got dressed. Bundling myself up into my leather coat I went for a short walk around Haven watching the village slowly came to life as its inhabitants began to wake. I hoped to clear my head a little in the fresh air but I was having little luck my thoughts still going in circles.

_I was a liability, my companions put at risk because they had to look after me._

_I wanted to be useful, to do that I wanted to learn to fight. To protect._

_But if I fought I would have eventually have to kill._

_I didn’t want to kill._

_But I still wanted to help...._

It wasn’t until I passed a weapons stall on the side of the street did I come out of my own mind long enough to notice something. Something long and familiar sitting propped up against the log fence behind the scruffy merchants display stand.

“My staff!” I exclaimed loudly rushing over to the table and reaching out to grab it when a meaty fist slapped my hand away.

“Oh no you don’t little missy,” a gruff voice said. “You want the merchandise, you gotta pay.”

The merchant looked to be in his thirties, with a closely shaven head and a trimmed dirty blonde beard that still looked unkempt and bristly. I glared up at the man indignantly, “That’s my staff you’re trying hock buddy.”

“Your staff,” he laughed. “I got this off a soldier who found it at the ruined temple yesterday, bought it for a steal to.”

“Yeah, because I dropped it there.” I replied angrily banging my hand on the table. I was tired frustrated and grumpy and this guy had my staff. I was in no mood to be nice.

“Sure you did,” he said sarcastically, “Next you’ll being telling me you dropped it while closing the Brea-“

He stopped talking when I calmly raised my left hand and gave him a cheery wave, the glowing mark flickering happily for all to see. Smug smile in place I took more than a little pleasure at how quickly his face changed from contempt to horror. It was almost comical.

“Well I tried to at any rate,” I said coyly.

“Oh shit,” he babbled eyes wide. “I mean, oh Maker forgive me. You’re the Herald! I…. oh by Andraste I struck her Herald! I’m so sorry my lady Herald please- I didn’t know it was you. Forgive me please.”

The man’s obvious fear and reverence made my stomach twist.

_What was I doing?_

I didn’t want this, this special treatment, the fear. I didn’t deserve any of it. My face heated with sudden shame. I had used my unwanted tittle to scare someone. I was being cruel and spiteful to someone I didn’t even know just because I was in a bad mood. I didn’t want to be that person. Ever.

I laughed a short bitter sound before trying to smile reassuringly at the man, “Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have snatched over your stall like that. I’m sorry. I’ve had a bit of a rough night.”

He looked taken aback. “Oh. Forgive me Lady Herald for saying but you’re not what I expected.”

“Obviously, seeing as you didn’t recognise me” I quirked and eyebrow at the man trying to be friendly. “I thought everyone here knew what I looked like by now. Not that I’m complaining or anything. I’d rather not have the attention honestly.”

“Just arrived yesterday,” he explained. “Names Seggrit my lady. I came here to open trade during the Conclave but got held up just long enough to miss …. Well everything. I haven’t enough coin to make the journey back now so I set up shop here.”

“I see,” I murmured looking over his wears. Swords, axes, daggers, shields, he even had bits of armour and jewellery on display. “You seem well stocked.”

“I get by,” his chest puffed out proudly. “With the Inquisition here now I’m getting a bit more business than I thought I would. Soldiers are always looking to upgrade their equipment a little. Oh here.”

Seggrit went over and plucked my staff from its position against the towns fence.

“You should have this back,” he said thrusting it into my hands. “I didn’t realise the Herald was a Mage.”

“I’m not. I just picked it up and used it to hit some demons with.” I frowned down at the smooth wood beneath my fingers. “To be honest I don’t even know how to fight.”

I placed in down onto the rough table surface. Shaking my head I took a step back. It was a weapon, I had no right to claim it.

“I shouldn’t take it if I can’t use it.”

“You could learn.” He offered. “I mean it’s not as effective as a sword or axe but if you used it well enough to get to the Breach and not get eaten by a demon then it’s better than nothing.”

I looked at the man in shock. I was dumb struck. It was so obvious I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of it myself. I ran my fingers over the smooth surface of the staff, it was still a dangerous thing in the use of a Mage, but in my hands it was little more than a big stick. It would take an awful lot of strength to use this to kill someone. Strength I really didn’t have. Yet I’d still used it.

“I don’t have any money, but I promise I will pay you back as soon as I do.” I offered picking it back up cautiously.

Seggrit looked stricken, “You don’t have to-“

“Yes I do,” I insisted. “I don’t want any special treatment from you or anyone else here. Now if you’ll excuse me. I need to talk to someone about some training.”

 

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Cullen was off to the side of the training field watching as the new recruits ran through some simple drills. His fluffy mantle shifting in the breeze while his hands rested on the hilt of his two handed long sword, sharp eyes looking out coolly to catch any mistakes made. When he noticed me running towards him the Commander gestured for another man to take his place before rushing my way looking concerned.

“Herald what’s wrong?” he said hurriedly looking around for whatever threat he suspected I might be running from. When he found none turned back to where I stood hands on knees, panting and flushed. “Is everything ok, you look awful?”

My shaking legs buckled and fell to sit heavily in the snow.

_Damn it_ , now my ass was wet.

“Evelyn?!” he cried crouching down with me. His face full of panic.

I waved him off with a dismissive hand.

“Fine,” I huffed. “I’m fine really. Just ran too far, didn’t sleep last night or well the night before….. or eat this morning. Probably should have eaten…”

“What in the Makers name is going on? What are you doing running out here when your clearly exhausted?” he scowled down at me while I caught my breath. Taking in my dishevelled appearance and heavy bags under my eyes that were probably as dark as a bruise by now. He did a lot of scowling at me I realised, him and Cassandra.

“I needed to talk to you, to say you were right,” I said looking up and staring him right in his honey coloured eyes. “And that I’m sorry. I didn’t realise what I was asking yesterday. You’re right, this isn’t some game and I have no right to learn to use a blade if I can’t bring myself to _really_ use it. But even so I want to useful, I want to be able to defend myself so others don’t have to. And to protect them in return.”

If possible Cullen brows furrowed even more in disappointment. “You still want to learn swordsmanship then.”

I shook my head negatively.

“It’s a tool for killing. I understand that’s its necessary and I won’t hold it against those who do but I can’t take someone’s life. I just can’t. I won’t. I refuse to kill another person. But that doesn’t mean I won’t fight.” I said fiercely.

“I’m confused,” Cullen said looking baffled. “You want to fight but don’t want to use a sword. How do you intend to do that? You’re hardly a candidate for hand to hand and a bow is just as deadly.”

“With this.” I held up my staff for inspection.

“A Mages staff,” Cullen frowned. “You’re not a Mage and even if you were I can’t teach you magic Evelyn.”

“No I’m not a Mage,” I agreed happily. Standing myself back up with a groan and using my staff as a crutch I stood defiantly in front of the Commander. “In my hands this is just a very big stick, it’s not a tool for magic or for killing. It’s just a long piece of wood. But I used it to protect myself and others on that mountain. Not very well mind you but I could learn to use it better. I won’t sit back and let people fight for me without contributing something. I’m not a warrior or a Mage. I’m just me. But maybe I can make my own way, make my own style of fighting that protects and disarms but not kill. But I don’t know how to start, or where. I was wondering if you could help me. If you will help me?”

Cullen regarded me evenly. “You… you really are something else aren’t you?”

“Probably,” I shrugged smiling shyly at him. “After all I’m from a completely different stock than you’re used to Commander. Does that mean you’ll help me?”

“Is this what you really want?” he asked seriously. “It will be hard work and you’re likely to get hurt in some way or another.”

I nodded, absolute. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“I’m no expert on staves and staff skills,” he said grimly, before smiling slyly. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two.”

I looked up at him hopefully. “Is that a yes?”

He nodded thoughtfully, “It will be tricky, we have a lot of work to do but-“

Cullen was cut off abruptly when I launched myself at him, throwing my arms around him in a sudden hug as I forced down a squeal of joy, his hard breast plate digging uncomfortably into my chest but I ignored it.

“Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I chanted before untangling myself from a now very red faced and flustered Cullen who coughed uneasily and shot a nervous glance towards his troops. “I promise I won’t let you down. When do we start?”

“Whoa! Hold up women,” Cullen’s hand came down on my shoulder to steady me. “First of you need to go eat and rest before you pass out. I’ll need to talk to Leliana and Cassandra, try and reorganise your schedule and sort out a few other things.”

“Thank you. Really Commander I owe you big time for this,” I gushed, giddy with happiness.

He laughed good naturedly. “Careful what you promise Herald. I’ll hold you to that.”

I left the training yard with my face practically splitting in two from the massive grin I sported, clutching my staff to my chest liked a treasured stuffed animal. I went back to my cabin and promptly collapsed onto my bed, sleeping until well after midday when Cassandra abruptly barged in to drag me out claiming I could sleep again when I was able to memorise the dates of the past Blights and the key people involved in their resolution.

I was still so happy over my small victory, I didn’t even care.

 

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With my days filled to bursting with training and lessons the weeks flew by in a daze of books, lectures, sweat, blisters and bruises. While my free time was now virtually non-existent my hectic schedule strangely enough became more of a blessing than a hindrance. Being kept so busy gave me little time for my mind to dwell on other more depressing things. With still no clue or evidence to explain my sudden arrival in an alternate world or how I came to bear the mark, my hopes of finding answers and a way back home seemed to fade little by little every day. Thinking of my family and friends and what they must be going through made me feel sick and miserable. Not to mention my own sense of loss and loneliness of not having then near. Even with all the wonder and magic that was Thedas I missed my home something terrible. But I coped, pushed through my grief and taking out my anger and fear on the practising dummies three times a day between lessons. It seemed like no time at all before Josephine declared we couldn’t wait any longer to meet with Mother Gisele.

It had been decided that traveling in a big group would attract too much unwanted attention, instead of going to the Hinterlands with the Inquisitions soldiers Cassandra, Varric, Solas and I would make the journey ourselves, posing as a group of mercenaries. We would be traveling by foot to a town called The Cross Roads where Lelianas agents had pinned down the Chantry Mothers whereabouts. Supposedly the women was helping the refugees caught up in the Mage-Templar war that was brutally waging in the area.

The prospect of willingly walking into an unstable war torn land wasn’t pleasant. After three weeks of training I was certainly better at using my staff, but that didn’t make me a competent warrior. Far from it. Cullen had made me swear not to engage in any fights unless absolutely necessary and to stay as close to my companions as possible… unless they told me to turn tail and run.

It was nice to know he had so much faith in me.

The Cross Roads was a day and a half travel by horse, but seeing as the Inquisition didn’t have any to spare the trip would take just under three days by foot. Not something I was looking forward to, though the thought of getting out of Haven for a change of scenery made it more bearable. The night before our departure Cassandra showed up in my cabin while I was finishing with my packing. I eyed the large bundle tucked under one of the Seekers strong arms curiously as I let her in.

“Cassandra,” I greeted happily pushing my hair out of my eyes. “If that’s more supplies for my pack the Inquisitions going to end up with a Herald who has severe back problems.”

“Actually it is something that is supposed to prevent you injury not cause it,” she replied going over to my bed and rolling the contense of the bundle out over my coverlet.

A set of clothes lay out on my bed, what looked like cream ridding pants, a soft brown vest, a new leather coat and a few other bits and pieces. Only there was something a bit different about the items, they seemed thicker and heavier, shining studs and extra buckles and straps adorned the items. I felt my eyes widening in realisation.

“Cassandra…” I gasped fingers running over the dark coffee coloured leather of the coat, recognising what it was. “This is armour.”

She nodded holding up the caramel coloured leather breast piece, it was simple: not overly fancy or showy and would cover about as much of my chest as a Kevlar vest from my own world would. “Leliana, Cullen and I discussed what you would be more suited to wearing. I believed you would need more sturdy plate mail as you are likely to need the extra protection…”

Cassandra was too busy undoing the buckles of the breast piece to notice my offended glare.

“…. However they believed it would slow you down and restrict your movements too much. Given your lack of strength, it does make sense that you should rely more on speed and accuracy I suppose. The leather is some of the strongest Ferelden has to offer while still allowing you to move freely. Try it, see how it fits.”

I eagerly began picking up the items to try them on, asking Cassandra to turn around when I changed pants. She rolled her eyes but gave me my privacy, maybe she was used to seeing half naked people but I certainly wasn’t comfortable being one of them. Once I was appropriately covered the Seeker helped and instructed me on how to appropriately wear and fasten the different pieces. After a while I was able to struggle into my first set of armour.

The pants weren’t completely leather, mostly it was made of a stiff skin tight material with patches of thicker, tougher leather in strategic places for added protection. The vest could be worn over any one of the shirts and tunics I’d been supplied and seamlessly matched the set of grieves which spanned from the middle of my forearm to my wrists, small triangle patches of leather extending further to cover the backs of my hands and loop over my middle fingers, thin plates of some rose-gold coloured metal moulded on top for extra protection. A thin pair of dark fingerless gloves covered the rest of my hands underneath and hid the mark from any possible prying eyes. The coat went over the top, falling to mid-calf with long slits up either side to my hip. It was tailored to come in at the waist before flaring out slightly in a flattering manor and was complete with a large loose hood. The darker leather was engraved with elegant swirls of ivy and roses at its seems and adorned with beautiful rose gold clasps and buckles. It fit perfectly, with enough give for me to move about with ease and not be overly heavy or cumbersome. And had more hidden pockets than I knew what to do with!

I loved it.

Cassandra eyed me critically.

“It will do, I suppose,” she said. “We can always upgrade it.”

“It’s… Cassandra this is perfect. Thank you,” I breathed, eyes teary. “Thank you so much.”

She waved away my appreciations dismissively. “If Andrastes Herald is willing to help fight for us then the Inquisition can afford to outfit her accordingly.”

“Still… it’s incredible,” I happily ran my fingers along the material lovingly.

“It will keep you safe,” she replied. “As will I. I realise this trip may be difficult for you but I give you my word that I will help you through this however I can.”

“I… I appreciated that Cassandra.” I said earnestly. I knew the other were going to basically become my bodyguards during this journey. A necessity I wasn’t entirely comfortable with. “Really Cassandra it means a lot. I’ll do my best not to make your job any more difficult than it has to be.”

“You can start by getting some rest,” she said sternly. “It’s a long walk to The Cross Roads. You should sleep in comfort while you can.”

“Yay!” I said with as much forced enthusiasm as possible. Cassandra smirked knowingly.

I’d never really liked camping. I didn’t think this trip was going to be something I would enjoy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked :)  
> So next chapter may not be up until after next weekend, sorry for the wait in advance. Real life is demanding my attention.  
> Until next time


	11. The Burden of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know. But I’m going to have to face this kind of thing sooner or later. We’re at war aren’t we? I can’t avoid the fighting forever. The sooner I get… used to it the easier it will be right?”
> 
> Evie and the rest head out into Thedas for the first time and for the first time she's forced to face actual people in battle...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, back again.  
> Sorry for the long wait.  
> Heads up for a long chapter with some action and some angst.

 

 

##  The Burden of War ##

 

We left the next morning with as little fan-fair as possible, only Leliana and Cullen seeing us off in the small hours just before dawn.

And then we walked.

And walked.

…….and walked.

Gradually the snow covered ground and icy breeze caused by being so close to the Frostback mountain ranges gave way to the green rolling hills and dipping valleys of the Hinterlands. While the air was still on the colder side the lack of the always present Haven cloud coverage helped it feel and look warmer than it really was. It was a pleasant change to have to watch out for mud and puddles instead of slippery ice. To watch the snow and sleet give way to plants and animals. Thedas certainly had some interesting wildlife.

(Nugs?... I wasn't sure what to make of them. Couldn't decide whether the rubbery pig-bunnies were cute or just strange.)

Even with the regular breaks and rest stops we took my legs and body became tired and sore, by the time evening came and we set up camp for the first night I pretty much collapsed into mine and Cassandras shared tent much to the amusement of my companions. Too exhausted too even mind the uncomfortable night’s sleep on the hard ground.

In saying that it wasn’t all bad. For the most part conversation flowed easily as both Cassandra and Solas continued to teach me about Thedas while we travelled with Varric adding his two cents every now and then just to annoy the Seeker when she was trying to be serious. Arguments between the two were a regular occurrence, one in which Solas and I stayed clear. During the day Solas would take opportunities to point out different plants and herbs, gathering useful ones for potions. In the evenings we would all pitch in to set up camp and fix food for dinner or refill the water skins with boiled water from streams or rivers. Cassandra took it upon herself to take over my training with the odd bit of advice on staff handling from Solas. The Seeker was a much stricter teacher than Cullen ever was with me. She even started getting me to spar with her for practice and Cassandra didn’t believing in holding back. I lasted half a second before the warrior landed me on my ass much to Varrics utmost amusement. Even so I was grateful for the help, even if I didn’t appreciate the bruises. Most nights finished with a story from Varric, even Cassandra found it hard to ignore the dwarf when he began to spin one of his tales. He really had a gift with words.

Our journey continued like that without incident for three days, my body gradually becoming used to the strain of constantly being on the move. Thankfully we didn’t encounter any problems, only passing a few other travellers on the road. When we reached the more populated areas of the Hinterlands Cassandra made sure we took discrete paths to avoid trouble, eventually leading us to an Inquisition camp site set up close to The Cross Roads.

On entering the camp Cassandra walked through the milling soldiers and tents like she owned to place. Not because she was initialled or pompous, she just had so much confidence and purpose about her. The rest of us followed in her wake taking in the busy camp until we were approach by a short women in Inquisition scouting armour.

A dwarf I realised taking in her short stature and slightly stocky build. She had long caramel coloured hair drawn back into an elaborate knot at the back of her head. Her round face was pretty with a button nose and a moderate smattering of freckles, the women could only be described as adorable. She looked us all over with sharp green eyes, her gazes going past the Seeker to find me standing in Cassandras shadow.

She smiled brightly as Cassandra stepped aside, indicating I should come forward.

“Herald of Andraste,” the dwarven women greeted warmly. Holding out her hand I took it shyly. Feeling out of place being the one addressed instead of Cassandra. Surely the Seeker was the leader of our little group. “I’ve heard the stories, everyone has.”

Her eyes trailed down to my hand to where the mark was hidden by my fingerless gloves, even so I tugged my sleaves down self-consciously.

She coughed awkwardly then looked back up.

“We know what you did at the Breach.” She said kindly. “You’ve come a long way from Chantry initiate to saviour, I can’t image how this all must seem to you. Inquisition Scout Harding at your service. I … all us here will do what we can to help.”

I tried not to flinch. Already my false history was circling Thedas. Apparently Leliana worked fast.

“Harding huh?” Varric piped up. “Ever been to Kirkwalls Hightown?”

“I can’t say I have. Why?” Harding replied puzzled.

“You’d be Harding in-“ Varric took in the scouts vacant look. “No? Never mind,” he finished lamely.

Cassandra sighed in disgust and I looked at the dwarf puzzled. I didn’t get it, the small twist to Solas mouth indicated that the Mage did though. I felt myself relax a little. Varrics poor attempt at a joke cutting through the awkward atmosphere like Cassandras sword.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said softly, trying to be friendly. “Though I’m starting to worry about these stories everyone seems to be hearing about me.”

“Oh there’s nothing to worry about,” Harding replied returning my smile with a knowing look. “They only say you’re the last great hope for Thedas.”

I snorted, “Oh, is that all? No pressure or anything.”

She grinned wickedly at me, voice thick with sarcasm “Pressure? I thought this may have been a hobby of yours.”

I laughed. I liked this dwarf. “Well somebody has to do it I suppose. Seeing as the damn sky doesn’t want to fix itself.”

“The Hinterlands are as good a place as any to start, for fixing things.” Harding said suddenly looking distressed. “We came to secure horses from Redcliffs old Horse Master. I grew up here and people always said that Dennets herds were the strongest and the fasted this side of the Frostbacks. But with the Mage/Templar fighting getting worse we couldn’t get to Dennet. Marker only knows if he’s even still alive.”

My heart went out to her. This was her home being torn apart by war, her country men who were unaccounted for.

“We’ll look into it as soon as we can,” I promised earning a raised eyebrow from Cassandra. “What about the Chantry Mother we’re supposed to meet? Any news on her?”

“Mother Giselle’s at The Cross Roads helping refugees and wounded. Our last reports say that the war's spread there too. Corporal Vale and our men are doing their best to help protect the people but they won’t be able to hold out very long. They could probably use the help.” Hardings eyes fell to Cassandras sword and Solas staff.

I turned to Cassandra.

“What do you think?” I asked cautiously. “If we go now we can try and secure the town before mid-afternoon.”

“We…?” She looked at me evenly. “There will be a lot of fighting Herald.”

“I know,” I said, my stomach fluttering uncomfortably, I hadn’t been into battle since the day of my arrival in Thedas and this wasn’t going to be a fight with demons and monsters. These were people. “I won’t do anything reckless. But I’m not just staying here either.”

“Are you sure?” Solas questioned quietly from beside me, clear eyes full of sympathy and understanding. “You would be safe here. There’s no need for you to be apart of-“

I interrupted the elf softly. “I know. But I’m going to have to face this kind of thing sooner or later. We’re at war aren’t we? I can’t avoid the fighting forever. The sooner I get… used to it the easier it will be right?”

The elf looked at me sadly.

“If you’re sure…”

“I am.” I lied.

Cassandra nodded approvingly, “Then we go now. Leave your packs here we will come back this evening. Only bring your weapons and what potions you can carry easily.”

Harding who had been watching the whole interaction wordlessly showed us where we could store our things before pointing us in the direction of the quickest path to The Cross Roads. She wished us luck before heading back to select a few of her scouts to follow us.

It was only a short distance to the town, one we spent cautiously on guard and on constant alert, the sounds of fighting seeming to rise and fall sporadically in the distance. Even so it was the rogue Templars that found us first.

The moment we stumbled onto the main road Solas was forced to throw up a hasty barrier as two archers took aim and fired at us from a distance, arrows recoiling harmlessly off the transparent blue force field. Varric was quick to respond forcing the archers to duck away out of sight behind up turned cart or risk Bianca’s wrath.

A loud challenging yell announced the presence a very large man wearing a suit of tarnished armour and hiding behind a massive shield. He rushed forward in a charge aiming  to flatten Solas where the elf stood. With a frown the elf stepped forward and then faded into a ghostly blue version of himself before streaking away, running _through_ the man at an inhumane speed to end up standing between the two archers who he started to engage. Meanwhile the shield bearing man had stopped his advance staring around stupidly with frost forming on his shield and his breath fogging in front of him.

I smiled stupidly to myself in awe. Fade step, Solas had shown it to me before. Clever Mage, it slowed down the enemies movements and was an excellent way to disappear and get out of range.

The large mans stunned eyes gradually looked for the next closest opponent when he realised his original one was no longer near. When his gaze went to my staff his face twisted into an eager sneer.

_Oh boy._

“Mage!” he hissed making a move towards me raising a bloody flail in his other hand only to be intercepted by Cassandras shield as she pushed him back, the Seekers insignia clear on the polished surface of her shield.

“Halt we are not Apostates!” she yelled in warning, as if her armour and shield weren’t enough proof.

He raised his weapon again and aimed for her head in a downward swing.

We both dove out of the flails path.

“I don’t think he’s listening!” I said jumping back out of the way as he swung again widely.

Cassandra growled and used her sword to knock the flail wide and dove in for a shield bash of her own, and the two began trading blows while I stood back blissfully forgotten.

A cry of warning from Varric had me turning to see another half a dozen assailants running our way. Varric firing at a few of them while the scouts who’d accompanied us charged in to intercept. Only one lone swordsman made his way through. Cassandra was still battling the big shield man.

Which left me.

I swallowed hard and braced myself, thinking back and reliving all my training at once. He was wielding a two handed long sword which meant no hands free for a shield, his armour wasn’t as heavy as that of the big shield man but was plated in places, his joints were left mostly uncovered to allow him good movement. He was approaching quickly but with such a large weapon his swings would be slow. I needed to aim for his inner elbow and wrists to weaken the strength of his attacks or the back of his knees and bring him to the ground.

_“Watch your opponent’s stance,”_ Cullen had said. _“If you can predict their moves you can guard against it.”_

He came in with a horizontal slash to my chest which I was pleased to find I could block and redirect with ease with a basic move, his sword skimming down the length of my staff to graze the gravelled ground. Cullen’s simple drills must have been paying off. The Templar recovered quickly coming back with a second swing to my thigh which I again caught jarring my arms in the process and grunting with effort. Thankful my staff was more than just a simple bit of wood. Mages battle staffs were specifically made to be reinforced enough to withstand even the sharpest sword.

He pressed forward in an attempt to break my guard and I pushed back. He was stronger than me but the angle of my staff gave me a bit more support when I used its end as a grounding device propped against the hard dirt road. When he realised he wasn’t going to best me with that move the Templar switched tactics, taking one hand off of his blade he used a closed fist to swing a back handed blow to my face. Taken of guard by the move I leaned back but not far enough.

His hand connected with the underside of my jaw hard enough to make me stagger back, stunned and off balance I only just managed to jump to the side when the Templar made a lunge at my chest his blade instead slicing through my leather coat and biting shallowly into my shoulder.

I cried of in shock and pain gripping tightly to my injured shoulder and taking a few hasty steps back.

_Holy shit he cut me.... And my new coat!_

Sensing he had me off balance the Templar pressed his advantage swinging harder and faster, forcing me back step after step. His face smirking in confidence and blood lust. This man didn’t know who I was yet he looked like the prospect of my dying by his hands would make his day.

It made me feel sick that he was taking so much joy from this, people shouldn’t be this twisted. I wanted to turn and run but forced myself not to. It was one of the first things Cullen had taught me.

_“Never turn your back on an enemy. Back away if you can but do not leave yourself vulnerable.”_

Instead I took hold my staff with both hands, my left slipping slightly on its grip, coated in my own blood, and kept deflecting his strikes. One, then another and another. I got lucky when one of my deflections ended up striking him hard on his right wrist damaging his grip. The Templar shocked me then by changing tactics yet again, throwing aside and abandoning his heavy sword and instead drawing out a long hunters knife from his belt. A sudden lunge forward and tackle by the man bought me heavily to the ground and had me crying out in wordless panic as the Templar battered my staff to the side and raised his blade above my chest.

I stared up at him terrified, eyes wide and breath hitching in fear.

“Please don’t,” I whimpered pathetically, the words coming out on instinct.

For the briefest moment he seemed to hesitate, like he was finally seeing beyond the staff I had wielded to the person behind it….

…. And then Cassandras sword buried itself in the side of his neck, cleaving down towards the mans sternum.

The blood didn’t spray until after she withdrew her weapon, harshly using her boot to kick the Templar off me and to the side, allowing me to scramble back. He made a wet choking noise as her blade grated against bone and armour, eyes going dull and jaw slack.

“Herald..?”

It was frightening how quickly the hard ground beneath his body turned red and soft.

“Evelyn!!”

I looked up to find Cassandra kneeling in front of me hand on my shoulders, it seems she had been trying to get my attention.

“Can you stand? There are more coming.”

_More?_.....

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

The air smelt like rust and copper.

I stood shakily, if only to distance myself from the smell, not able to look at the dead man at my feet.

Cassandra clasped my arm warmly giving me short sympathetic look.

“One of the scouts is injured, are you able to deliver a healing potion and give them some cover?”

I knew what she was doing, sending me to help and care for a fallen ally, pushing me back from the fight.

_God bless Cassandras secret soft side._

I nodded mutely and let her lead me back to where the others where regrouping, a handful of new Templars already closing in. I was able to pick out the injured scout easily as he was positioned further back form the others, his pants leg was drenched in blood and he was struggling to stand while losing arrows at the enemy. Cassandra rushed ahead to join the front line of attackers with Solas and the other Inquisition soldiers.

Before I could reach the injured scout a small lithe Templar dressed in leathers seemed to jump down from a ledge to target the injured man. The scout quickly used his bow to hold back two shining daggers as they threatened to pierce his chest.

I didn’t hesitate, dashing forward I aimed low and struck hard at the attackers side causing them to let out a pained grunt and double over the daggers dropping into the grass at the side of the road. The scout then bought his bow down hard to strike his assailant across the back of their head with enough force to knock them out. When his leg began to give out beneath him I was quick to come forward, offering support as he lowered himself to the ground.

“Thank you Lady Herald,” he said gratefully, his voice shaking. “That was to close for comfort, I’m lucky you arrived when you did.”

“Call me Evie,” I corrected softly. “How bad are you hurt?”

I was already rummaging through my pockets for one of the red healing potions Adan had stoked me with before leaving Haven.

“It’s deep but not lethal,” he answered wincing as he pulled back the material of his pants. “My wife won’t be happy about the new scar though.”

I let out a short startled laugh, hiding my horror at the gory sight of his wound. He was right it was deep. I quickly thrust the small red vial into his hands.

“Drink this before you bleed out please, though I think you may still need stiches to be safe.”

He did, grimacing at the taste and downing half the potion before handing it back. He looked back towards the fight.

“Looks like its winding down, thanks to the assistance of your friends.”

I followed his gaze to see the others taking care of the last rogue Templars, several of which were hastily retreating. When it was over I helped the scout to his feet and handed him over to one of his colleges to assist back to camp. I met up with Cassandra as she searched the bodies for information.

“Is it over?” I asked.

“Yes, they have been driven back for now and are unlikely to return seeing how badly they lost. Corporal Vale should be able to keep the refugees safe from now on. We have done well.”

_‘We…’_

I looked around the road, the bodies’ strewn about like discarded dolls, limp and lifeless. Eyes staring blankly as their life’s blood bleed into the soil and earth. These weren’t monsters or beast, these were people, people who had made bad choices but human all the same. They _had_ been people.

_‘We…’_

I had helped do this. It hadn’t been much but I had fought and distracted so my companions could kill. I let them and did nothing to stop them because I knew it was necessary but it didn’t change the fact that all these people were dead. Violently so.

I turned sharply on my heel and walked stiffly to the side of the road. Ignoring Cassandras questioning calls I made my way over to a section of rock and high grass, bending around it I promptly retched and threw up everything I’d eaten in the last 24hours.

Then I sat down tucking my face behind my knees and silently cried.

 

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To their credit my companions gave me wide berth while I got myself back under control, allowing me time and space to sort through my tormented thoughts and waiting until I came to them. When I re-joined the group a short while later nobody asked if I was ok, they already knew the answer.

Solas had me sit down and insisted on treating the cut on my shoulder, cleaning it before using a small amount of magic to heal it so it wouldn’t scar. His hands glowed a pale mint green and my skin tingled unpleasantly during the process but it was interesting to feel the wound knit back together under his influence. It was still tender and ached on movement but I was impressed.

“You are incredible Solas,” I praised pulling my coat back on over my blood stained tunic. I would need to change and wash that later not to mention find someone to mend my coat.

He nodded appreciatively, “It is but a minor task but it’s nice to have my talents complimented.”

I thought back to the scout who’d been sent back to the camp. “Would you be able to help out the injured man back at camp, I think he could use your talents more than me at the moment.”

“I was planning to have a look later on this evening when we returned, he was in no immediate danger after you gave him that potion,” Solas replied before placing a cool gentle hand on my jaw and tilting my head up to inspect where I’d been struck. I winced and Solas frowned. “It will be a nasty bruise but there is no break, you did well for your first fight.”

I shifted uncomfortably. I didn’t want to think about what had just transpired. I was trying to convince myself the whole thing had never happened.

_Denial, denial, denial._

“We should go scope out the Cross Roads and find Mother Giselle, before it starts getting dark” I said changing the subject quickly.

The Mage didn’t press the issue, standing up gracefully he reached down and assisted me back to my feet.

The Cross Roads was a small town though only slightly smaller than Haven would be if it was missing all the Inquisition tents and training grounds. It was a trading town, specifically build along the most used road in the Hinterlands for travellers to rest restock and barter wares. As such there were plenty of stores and trading stalls lining the side of the road, all currently unmanned due to the Templars attack though even as we walked through I could see the residents poking their heads out of doors and coming out from the safety of their homes.

“They must have been so scared,” I murmured to myself. “The fighting was right on their doorstep.”

“The Cross Roads has been providing shelter and assistance to refugees fleeing the fighting. It was a prime targets for the Templars to try and take control over. From here they would control most the supplies coming into the area and would be able to watch for Mages attempting to get through.” Cassandra said.

“Mages and Templars, and innocent people caught in the middle. Some things never change,” Varric mattered darkly.

I sighed sadly, wondering if the waring fractions even realised the damage they were doing to the world or the people their fight was affecting. People like these villagers dragged into someone else's conflict who just wanted to get on with there lives. I wondered if the Mages and Templars even cared anymore or if they were too wrapped up in their own gaols to realise just how much damage they were doing.

In the center of the small town was an area set up with tents and cots, a temporary hospital out in the open. The beds were full of injured and sick while people rushed around carrying bandages, blankets, hot water and potions. One figure stood out among the others, wearing stiff white and red Chantry robes and walking with a calm purpose between the injured.

“Do you think that’s her?” Varric said.

“I suspect so.” Cassandra turned her hard gaze to me, “Go speak with Mother Giselle, I’m going to find Corporal Vale and find out more about our position here in the Hinterlands.”

I nodded and she left to find the Inquisitions Corporal, I turned to Varric and Solas.

“Shall we,” I said with forced cheeriness.

“If I may, I was thinking of offering my aid to the injured while we have a moment,” Solas replied, his keen eyes already assessing the nearest injured.

“Of course Solas, we’ll catch up with you after.” I said quickly. “Just you and me then Varric.”

“Actually Sunshine, I might hang back from this one,” the dwarf said sheepishly. “Me and the Chantry aren’t exactly best buddies.”

“Afraid you’ll might burst into flame if you talk to the holy lady,” I replied grinning.

“I don’t doubt it for a moment,” he replied dramatically. “I’ll just hang back here and keep an eye on things.”

I snorted in amusement, “Chicken.”

“If the Maker smites me for tainting one of his Mothers with my mere presence Bianca will be left with no one!” he defended. “She’ll become destitute.”

“Well we can’t have that, can we?” I turned away shaking my head and stifling a smile.

Picking my way cautiously through the make shift hospital I approached the Chantry Mother. She was average in height and softer in build, the only parts of her left exposed from her robes were her calloused worn hands and dark weathered face wrought with deep lines, her mouth was wide and strangely pursed and her eyes soft and dark. She was leaning over an injured man in armour as I drew closer, there conversation gained my interest straight away.

“There are Mages here who can heal your wounds, lie still.” She said softly in an heavy Orlesian accent. Her the sleaves of her Chantry robes stained with dirt and blood.

The soldier she was tending gasped and tried to rise, “Don’t… let them touch me, Mother. Their magic-“

“Turned to noble purpose,” She interrupted in a firm but kind manor. “Their magic is surely no more evil than your blade.”

“But..!” he struggled weakly, wincing in pain.

“Hush dear boy, allow them to ease your suffering.”

The man fell back with a groan and the Chantry women waved forward a Mage in cream robes to attend to him. As she stood brushing dirt from her knees I walked forward cautiously.

“Mother Giselle?” I inquired hopefully.

“I am,” She barely glance at me as she responded. “And you must be the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste.”

“I prefer Evie,” I offered awkwardly. “I didn’t think most people within the Chantry were so accepting of Mages?”

“We do not teach that magic is evil. We teach that pride is evil and does not only corrupt mages,” she replied sagely.

I was impressed with her way of thinking, it wasn’t one I seen shared often among the more devote Andrastians I’d met.

“I was told you asked to meet with me,” I prompted.

“Indeed,” the older women walked a little ways from the wounded and I followed. “I know of the Chantry’s denouncement and I’m familiar with those behind it. I won’t lie to you: some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine. Some are simply terrified. So many good people, senselessly taken from us…”

“I can understand,” I said sympathetically. “What happened at the Conclave was beyond awful, but the Inquisition is trying to fix things. The Chantry’s stance is making it so much harder for us to do any good. We need help.”

“Fear makes us desperate, but hopefully not beyond reason.” She said turning to look me right in the eye. “Go to them. Convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have heard only frightful tales of you. Give them something else to believe in.”

“Me? They think I killed the Divine, they won’t listen to me.” I replied hopelessly. “I’m afraid anything I say or do will just make things worse.”

“Could it be worse than it is?”

I gave a short, bitter laugh.

“You should never make the mistake of the ‘it can’t get any worse’ line.” I said bitterly. “It can always get worse, and it always does.”

“Let me put it this way,” Mother Giselle replied unworried. “You needn’t convince them all. You just need some of them to doubt. Their power is their unified voice, take that from them and you receive the time you need.”

I looked at her with wide eyes, honestly shocked. Divide and conquer. It was rather sneaky suggestion to come from a nun, against her own order no less.

“Um thank you… I think. But I don’t understand, why are you helping us?”

“I honestly don’t know if you’ve been touched by fate or sent to help us… but I hope.” She said thoughtfully. “Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call, as they will listen to no other. You could build the Inquisition into force that will deliver us… or destroy us.”

“I don’t want to destroy anything,” I said softly. “And I don’t feel like anyone should be following me, I don’t want to lead anyone down the wrong path by accident.”

“That may be exactly why you are perfect for the job.” She smiled kindly at me. “I will go to Haven and provide Sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry who would be amenable to a gathering. It is not much but I will do whatever I can.”

“Thank you Mother Giselle,” I said sincerely. At least something good had come from this wretched day.

 

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We spent the rest of the afternoon helping those in the Cross Roads as best we could, assisting the healers and injured, taking request and gathering information from the locals. It was tiring and busy but it kept my mind from wandering to more unpleasant places. Of course I couldn’t escape my thoughts for long, when we retired back at the Inquisition camp and I crawled into the tent to sleep my mind had no here else to run.

And the nightmare caught up with me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Evie :) I realise she is coming across as a weakling and a bit of a sook but she will get better I promise, give her time.  
> Hope you enjoyed.


	12. Hinterland Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh come on!!! Can’t I catch a friggin’ break today?!”
> 
> Evie has bit of a bad day and slowly comes to terms with what it means to get a little blood on her hands.  
> More angst and Action!  
> plus Solas ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, over 500 views and 50 kudos.   
> it might seem small compared to other works out there but for me it feels huge.  
> Thank you to everyone whose following this story and bearing with the long windedness of it all.  
> Reminder that this is a slow burn romance, I want the connection between the characters to be genuine and not rushed, but as a reward next chapter things may heat up a smidge..... or two.   
> I'm actually really looking forward to the next chapter. hehehe  
> In the mean time I hope you enjoy

 

## Hinterland Hunt ##

 

The next morning I found myself sitting by the dying embers of the fire pit, it had been burning all night, the soldiers having only stopped feeding it wood when dawn broke. I knew this because I was awake most the night myself, watching the flickering firelight dance prettily from the other side of the thin canvas tent between restless periods of sleep and fever like dreams of red soil and faceless men with crying wives and gaping bloody gashes where their throats should be.

It had been a very long, disturbing night.

I was staring down at my half eaten breakfast of lumpy Inquisition porridge and fresh Cross Roads wheat bread with gritty tired eyes. Contemplating if I could offers the remains to some refugees or if that might be considered rude to pass on left overs I was bought back out of my musings when something long and thin fell from above to land across my crossed legs. I looked up questioningly.

“What’s this for?” I asked eyeing the worn long bow Cassandra had just dropped in my lap and running my fingers along its battered surface.

She looked at me coldly and spoke slowly, “It’s called a bow, it’s used to shoot arrows at targets.”

I rolled my eyes, “I know that, jeeze Cassandra. I meant why are you giving it to me?”

“We’re going to hunt,” she explained. “The refugees need food so while we look for Master Dennet we are going to shoot some game.”

“Wouldn’t the safer option be to let Varric do the shooting?” I said hesitantly. I’d always admired people who knew how use a bow, it seemed so elegant. I had even considered trying it as a hobby at one point in time until I realised it was more likely that I would take out my own eye than hit a target.

Cassandra stared down at me stony faced and stern.

“It is a valuable and useful skill,” she lectured. “One which can provide us with food when out in the wilds. You can’t leave it all to Varric Evelyn, if you travel with this party I expect you to contribute too.”

My checks heated with sudden shame.

“Right, sorry.” I mumbled. I hadn’t thought of it that way. This whole tripped I’d been tagging behind running errands but what had I really done to help? I was acting like the selfish burden I didn’t want to be.

She nodded shortly and handed over a quiver of arrows.

“I’ll teach you as we walk, we have a lot of ground to cover if we are to reach the Redcliff Farms by nightfall. Get your packs sorted we will leave shortly.”

As Cassandra left I sighed heavily and rubbed my eyes. Today was not shaping up to be a good one.

 

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_6 hours later…._

This morning I’d had the overwhelming feeling that today was not going to be a good one. One could argue that my lack of sleep and dark thoughts from the previous day were just putting me in a bad mood and they could be right. But the heavy feeling and sense of doom and gloom had hung over me like my own personal thundercloud wasn’t just me being grumpy, I just knew that today would not be pleasant.

I hated being right.

Our walk through the Hinterlands was proving to be very trying. Between the long distance we had to travel and the uneven terrain my legs were aching with every step while my fingers and arms burned with the strain of learning to use the bow as we travelled. Cassandra would stop our group every now and then and order me to take pot shots at nearby objects. Trees, rocks and sign posts were my usual victims, so far I’m manage to miss spectacularly with each shot. My epic failure with the bow was not helping my mood or self-esteem. It just seemed to highlight just how inept I was.

And then there was the fighting.

We’d run into another group of Templars just out of The Cross Roads and after a brief but brutal fight in which Cassandra received a nasty but easily healed slash to her shield arm trying to protect me, Varric got a blood nose and five rogue Templars lost their lives, we moved on only to become the target of two separate attacks from groups of renegade Mages and sell swords.

There was no reasoning or bargaining with our attackers, they just struck out with angry hate filled violence and magic. I could suddenly see exactly why most of Thedas feared Mages as they rained fire and lightning down upon us with ease and without hesitation. Solas called it the madness of war, saying that they had been locked away for too long and now had the chance to unleash their power on the world that had oppressed them. These were not the Rebel Mages that wished for freedom, these were the Mages that wanted revenge and power and they weren’t picky about who they took it from.

Thankfully all my companions were all well trained and excellent fighters used to combat against all sorts of beings, whereas these people seemed inexperienced and hasty. I hung back from the magic battles as I was nowhere close to being competent enough get involved against a Mage, instead I targeted and distracted the sell swords and hired thugs these Mages had bought on to boost numbers, as long as I blocked and danced out of reach I was fine. I just closed my eyes and looked away if they were too stupid not to retreat when any of the others finally had a moment to come to my aid.

After each fight the body count we left behind grew, needless to say my conscious just seemed to keep getting heavier and heavier, and my mood more melancholy.

It was well after midday by the time we had a chance to stop for a break and even that was disrupted by a sudden crackle and flare from the mark on my palm.

“Oh come on!!!” I growled in frustration, an apple already half way to my mouth when the pain slithered up my forearm to my elbow. “Can’t I catch a friggin’ break today?!”

The only response from my companions was some confused and startled looks as well as Cassandras questioning scowl.

I held up my hand in answer, green energy crackling out beneath my fingerless gloves.

“I think there is a Rift nearby,” I said dully throwing my untouched apple into my pack with more force than probably necessary.

As expected the others were quick to gear up and search the surrounding area and within moments we found the Rift, tucked away between some hills and behind a wall trees. The flickering emerald light dancing about the secluded area while a handful of demons milled about beneath the shifting Rift.

Solas approached me placing a slender hand on my shoulder.

“Wait until we’ve cleared the majority of demons then I will assist you with closing the Rift as before,” he said smoothly, narrow face thoughtful and kind.

And I hated it.

“No,” I shrugged out from under his hand, stomach clenching in guilt at his surprised and mildly hurt expression.

“Evelyn?” He questioned clearly concerned with my out of character behaviour.

The Rift needed to be sealed, there was no question about that. In all honesty talking Solas up on his offer of assistance was the smart thing to do. I hadn’t dealt with a Rift in over a month, not since I’d failed to close the Breach. Who knew how badly drained I’d be after trying to close one after being so out of practice or if the mark wold even work the same way, hell I might of broken the damn thing the last time I’d used it, who would know? I doubt the attempt to close this Rift would kill me but trying it by myself was not the smart thing to do.

Even so I didn’t want help. I was sick of people being in danger and getting hurt because of me, sick of people fighting my battles while I stood by helpless. I wasn’t stupid, I knew it was necessary while I was still learning to hold my own and that I was doing the best I could. But it didn’t feel enough. It didn’t change that people were still getting hurt or that I couldn’t stop my companions from having to kill to protect me.

But if I could do this….

I wanted to be able to get through something by myself without someone coming in to save me and I wanted to do something to make up for all the death we’d left in our wake. I couldn’t bring back those rogue Templars or Mages, but I could stop these demons from killing anyone else.

It would have to be enough because I didn’t know what else I could do to stop this overwhelming remorse.

“This is the only thing of use I can do. The only good I can do, then damn it I can do it by myself,” I replied stubbornly. Before adding more softly, “Please Solas I need to do this.”

He regarded me carefully before stepping back and bowing his head, his face impassive. “As you wish, Herald.”

I winced at the use of my tittle but refused to back down. This was probably a mistake, but for the moment it was what I needed. I was the only one who could close the Rifts, that was my purpose. And I needed to be able to do it alone.

Without further delay our small party drew our weapons and prepared for a fight. On Cassandras signal we rushed in, Solas sending out his blue barrier spell around us all before he and Varric fell back to use ranged attacks. Cassandra ran straight into the midst of the demons….

And for the first time I was right there behind her.

With my staff at hand I swung and struck at the first demon to cross my path, a Shade with its clawed hands already raised for attack. With a cry I battered his hands aside and hit a hard blow to its chest before twisting around a swinging my staff back to jab at its centre. It recoiled and I rained down a quick succession of blows over its head and shoulders.

I may not be able to attack a person but I could hit a monster without any feelings of remorse or guilt. And boy did I hit it. Again and again with more force than I’d ever felt capable of. When the Shade finally shrieked and began to melt into ash and dust I found a new target and repeated the same treatment. My attacks harder thanks to Cullens training and aimed much better than my first few encounters during my arrival in Thedas. I could see why so many people enjoyed taking their frustrations out on punching bags.

It was liberating.

With every hit and every successful block or dodge I felt my chest swell with pride.

_I could do this, I was doing this! And I was kicking ass_!

Every demon I killed was one less that could harm innocent lives, every strike was proof I could help, that I could do something!

When I ran out of nearby demons my attention turned to the Rift, chest heaving with exertion and body humming with adrenalin. Confident the others could handle the rest I quickly stripped my left hand of its glove and stretched the mark towards the Rift.

The connection opened with familiar ease and as all times previous the Rift fought to stay open, trying to draw open my live force as it struggled. While it had been awhile since I’d attempted it my mind and body easily remembered the process of willing the Fade to close and strength and energy required to do so. I began to feel the swells of confidence that came with familiarity.

_I’d dealt with the Breach itself and stopped its spread, a single simple Rift was easy._

It closed at my will. With a shudder and snap the Rift retreated into nothingness and my legs gave way beneath me, spots dancing on the edge of my vision.

_…. Ok, maybe it wasn’t so easy_.

Before I even had the chance to collapse a set of surprisingly strong and leanly muscled arms wrapped around my waist and shoulders from behind and effortlessly helped lower me to sit on the grass below without injuring myself.

“M’okay,” I mumbled breathing deeply and shaking away the spots.

I heard Solas sigh heavily from behind me one of his arms still wrapped around my shoulders in support.

“Reckless and foolish,” he said sharply reminding me a promise I’d made him in Haven, one I’d probably just broken.

_Oops._

I giggled.

“I see nothing amusing about this Evelyn,” he said, I could hear the frown in his voice. “That was exceedingly dangerous.”

“I know, I’m sorry. But-,” I replied still giggling. “I did it! By myself! I’m not useless……. I kicked demon butt and closed the Riff without dying. I’m a total bad ass! Xena’s got shit on me!”

I laughed harder at the absurdity of it all. Only mildly aware that this was most likely a big side effect of the adrenalin let down I was experiencing as well as the stress from the last few days. Looking up I noticed Cassandra walking away and rolling her eyes while Varric leaned back against a rock chuckling in amusement at my silliness. I'm pretty sure  at least he got my Warrior Princess reference, he was using her tales I'd told him for story ideas of his own.

_I didn't think it would count as plagiarism if it wasn't published in the same world... right?_

Solas sighed again and learned forwards, speaking softly enough that the others couldn’t hear. I could feel his breath brushing against my ear and neck sending shivers down my spine and pleasant tingles to settle in in my belly. My checks heated considerably.

“You and I are going to talk about this later Evelyn.”

With that the Mage stood himself back up and wandered away to search the area for any items of use.

I gulped, my euphoria gone in an instant replaced with nervous dread.

_Shit, that sounded ominous._

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Solas

After short rest to make sure the Herald was well enough to travel and that everyone had eaten and regained some energy the small party set out once more towards the Redcliffe Farms. By mid-afternoon they had crossed over a rickety broken bridge and were only a short distance away from where they hoped to find the elusive horse master.

Evie had finally proven herself worthy and managed to not miss her last three assigned targets with her bow and as a reward Cassandra had sent her ahead with Varric to try and shoot a pair of rams which had been grazing lazily on the side of the road. Solas had noticed the way the girls face had paled and shoulders slumped at the prospect and yet she hadn’t argued, instead she had gripped the bow tighter and stalked after her target with the dwarf at her side.

Which left the apostate and the Seeker to watch from a distance like over protective parents with children who were to troublesome for their own good.

They made a very odd pair.

Solas shook his head forlornly as he watched Evelyn line up a shot only to have her stance and aim corrected by Varric before she let loose and grazed the poor beast hind leg resulting in the two hastily taking off after the now startled and fleeing prey.

He could just picture her guilt ridden face at having injured an innocent creature and put it in unnecessary pain. Much like the gloomy tormented expression she’d been wearing since yesterday. Solas had known Evie hadn’t been ready for this, yet she had insisted.

Who would have thought someone so gentle and compliant would end up being such a handful? The elf thought to himself as he pondered the strange puzzle that was The Herald of Andraste.

Seeing as the other worlder currently bore his Anchor and a significant amount of his power Solas had little choice but to keep an eye on the young women, even if she and the others had no real understanding of what it was she truly carried in the palm of her hand. Evelyn was needed to repair his mistake and to close the Breach as such her survival was paramount. Under the given circumstance her best chance of living through this was with the Inquisition, by acting as her companion and teacher Solas could remain close to the girl and help maintain her safety while also learning as much about her and her unique circumstances as possible.

A regretful but essential deception on his part. While the Herald of Andraste had to hide where she really came from for the sake of the Inquisition, Solas had to hide who he really was from all of Thedas. For the sake of his people he would play the quiet unassuming apostate. He would impart wisdom and keep the Herald safe all the while steering her towards his purpose. He wasn’t overly proud of using the poor girls trust in such a way, but he was sure he would do much worse by the time this was over.

He would do whatever it took to restore his people, to right his wrong.

Staying impartial was proving to be difficult however.

Why?

Because Evelyn Treval was turning out to be the most frustratingly endearing women he’d ever met.

Her indomitable curiosity and boundless wonder at this new world drew him in from that first conversation in Haven. It was an outlook Solas hadn’t seen in a very, very long time and one he appreciated greatly. When she found joy or amusement in such mundane matters or showed utter awe and amazement in the simplest of spells it reminded Solas of why he was bothering to protect this world in the first place instead of just waiting for his powers to return and over throwing the enemy himself. So eager to learn and to help, hers was a kind and genuine soul and Solas found that her quick mind and clever intellect made in depth and thoughtful conversations flow easily between the two of them. The elf was astounded to find that he actually enjoyed the human girls company. A human of all things!

She was full of life and curiosity, while at the same time lacked the confidence and self-assuredness most women her aged carried making her awkward and clumsy. At times she presented as much younger than her 21 years, though compared to Solas age she was barely more than a child.

Yet while she was young and inexperienced in the harshness of this world she was by no means naïve. Evelyn understood and took in more than most gave her credit for. She was just too stubborn to let the cruelness of the world change her outlook and belief in doing what was right and good. It was the only thing she was ever openly adamant about.

Which was why Solas was glad to have the opportunity to talk with Cassandra without the presence of their other two companion. He had something he needed to discuss with the Seeker.

“I see what you are trying to accomplish Lady Cassandra,” He said casually, keeping pace with the warrior as she stalked forward, her dark eyes always wary and looking out for trouble. “I’m sure you are aware of Evelyn distaste for taking life.”

“I am well aware of the Heralds wish not to kill anyone,” The Seeker said stiffly. “The Commander and I have already discussed it at length.”

“Then I am curious as to why you seem to ignoring her wishes,” he replied raising an eyebrow while looking coldly at the woman beside him. “Teaching her archery, sending her out to hunt. You seem to be building her up Seeker. Starting small. First demons, then wildlife. Are you planning to have her shoot some bandits next?”

“I’m only trying to prepare her for the inevitable, Solas.” She responded returning his cold gaze.

“By turning her into a cold blooded killer? Why try and change her in such a manor? Hardening her in such a way will only cause her pain and she will retreat into herself. You will be destroying a pure and kind soul for your own purposes.” He pressed angrily.

“What do you know of my ‘purposes’ apostate?” Cassandra hissed coming to a stop to face the elven Mage. Her mouth pulled into a thin tight line. “My only goal is her protection while we seal the Breach.”

“At the expense of an innocent women’s humanity and free will?! She will hardly be grateful for your help.” Solas retaliated, realising belatedly the irony of his words. He himself was using Evelyn in his own way, though he had no intentions to change her and trick her into action she would hate.

“You did not share a tent with her last night,” snapped the Seeker eyes flashing dangerously. “She barely got any rest all night and when she did she was tossing and crying in her sleep. I’ve never met someone so tormented by witnessing death in a fight, even in self-defence. I can’t imagine the state she will be in if she ever has to do it herself. I pray that she will never have to take a life but I have no faith that we can protect her from this forever. I’m not encouraging her to kill I’m just… just trying make this easier on her when the time comes, for her own state of mind. If she doesn’t deal with this guilt and fear before she has to take that step it will destroy her.”

Solas realised with a start that Cassandra was genuinely concerned for the girl, not just because she was important to her cause. It seemed Evelyn had managed to pierce even the Seekers hard exterior. Cassandra wasn’t always the most eloquent of persons, this was just her way of trying to help the girl.

“My apologies Cassandra,” Solas offered quickly not wanting the Seekers ire aimed at him for the rest of the journey. He’d seen how she made life difficult for Varric. “I meant no disrespect I was simply trying to look out for Evelyn’s well-being. I see now you are only trying to help. Though might I suggest talking to her about it… Our Herald can be a slightly oblivious to some things, she responds better to words.”

Cassandras cheeks tinged pink in embarrassment and Solas took amusement from her sudden flustered exterior. It was so unlike the stoic women.

“I…I’m not good with words,” Cassandra replied stiffly glaring at the elf as if challenging him to say something.

Solas was about to offer his assistant in talking to Evelyn himself when a sudden cry of panic and startled scream pieced the air. Both Cassandra and Solas looking up shocked to find Evie and Varric were no longer within eye sight.

“VARRIC!” the panicked shriek came from somewhere ahead of them.

“That was Evelyn!” Solas said already running towards the sound Cassandra doing the same, drawing her sword and donning her shield as they ran.

Turning a corner in the path and clearing a dip in the hilly Valley the two quickly came across their missing companions, finding them in a bad predicament.

They were surround by wolves, several large heavy set black furred beasts with razer sharp fangs and snarling expressions. One had managed to overwhelm Varric, the dwarf currently lying prone on his back using his large hands to hold back the snapping maw of the wolf as it lunged for his face with vicious determination, Bianca lying on the grass out of reach. The Herald was standing a little ways off bow still in hand looking around in panic trying to watch all the surrounding wolves at once.

Turning his head to the side to avoid a particularly powerful snap the dwarf noticed the arrival of the other two companions first.

“A little help!” he called in frustration.

Cassandra gave a soft curse before running forward banging her shield and shouting loudly to gain the wolves attention and scare them off, a few turned their rabid gaze to the warrior and began to stalk her instead though none of the wolves seemed even the least bit scared.

Solas frowned, this pack was not normal.

The Mage summoned a small fire ball to launch at the beast still attacking Varric though as it turned out it wasn’t needed.

There was a snap of a bow string and a whistle of pierced air as an arrow embedded itself into the wolfs flank, it wasn’t a fantastic shot but it cause the wolf to rear back slightly in pain giving Varric the chance to draw a hunting knife from his belt and stab into the large wolfs neck. He was quick to push the corpse off and roll to the side, retrieving Bianca as he did and coming up into a smooth crouch already aiming.

Not far away Evie was already sending of a second arrow at a pair of wolves running her way, she struck one in the chest causing it to collapse with a harsh whine before missing the second, her shot whistling over its shoulder harmlessly then a third shot falling short. Frowning in frustration she threw the bow off to the side as the wolf closed in and instead unslung her staff from its fastenings across her back. Waiting till the creature jumped towards her before swinging her staff across its muzzle sending it to the ground with a pained yelp as it’s jaw crunched, bones broken.

And yet it persisted, getting back up and charging again.

Solas threw an ice spell, running the creature through with a glacial shard before turning back round to assist Cassandra. Evie already running over to Varric to watch his back while he laid down cover fire taking out another two wolves.

The rest of the fight was quick and bloody, in the end nine wolves lay dead. Not one had tried to flee even when outnumbered or faced with Solas’s large fireball spell.

“Those….” Rasped Evie allowing herself to sit weakly on the grass beside Varric. “Were some big freaking dogs!”

“No normal wolf would fight with such determination,” Cassandra panted kneeling down to clean her blade on the grass. Eyes surveying the area for more possible threats.

“The Breach may have driven them mad,” Solas pondered sadly. “Or perhaps a demon has taken over the pack.”

“They can do that?” Evie asked clearly horrified.

“It’s possible,” He said simply turning his attention to the young women.

“Are you alright?” he asked meaningfully, it was the first time she had killed a natural creature after all. Something he knew her to be dreading.

Evelyn’s face fell but no tears formed in her eyes, she looked sadly about the dead wolves then sighed heavily.

“Yeah I’m fine,” she said. “It had to be done.”

“Thanks for the assistance Sunshine,” Varric said happily, patting her shoulder warmly. “You really saved my face back then.”

“Can’t have the wolves eating your money maker can we Varric,” she replied giving the dwarf a shaky but genuine smile. “How else will you pay for Bianca up keep if not that pretty face of yours?”

Solas felt himself relax a little as two continue their playful banter and Cassandra began to search the dead wolves.

The Herald was stronger than they gave her credit for, stronger than even she gave herself credit for. Evelyn would be ok, with time Cassandra may even be right. When the time came Evelyn would be able to cope if she had to kill.

That didn’t mean Solas was content to ever let it come to pass though…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments let me know you're enjoying the story and give me encouragement to write :) hint hint.


	13. Master of Horses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s us. Fighting the good fight, defenders of the people, innocent bystanders dragged kicking and screaming into the fray….”  
> The party meet the missing horse master and try and bargain for their cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :)  
> Firstly this chapter is a little shorter than normal, the chapter was taking too long for me to write as I've been unwell this week but I wanted to get some of it out so I decided to split it in two and get the second part out as soon as its finished.  
> Its a lot lighter and less moody, I figured the story needed some lightness after the last few chapters.  
> Secondly I'd like to thank Knightwalker405 who left a comment and a suggestion to make a reference that actually helped me decide on something I was having trouble with, I hope you all enjoy how it was used.  
> Thirdly I promised last week for a bit of romantic progression and it will be coming it was just in the part of the chapter I had to push back, I'm sorry. But I've something small in in this one anyway, just coz.  
> As always I hope you enjoy.

## Master of Horses ##

 

The Redcliffe Farmlands were vast. Yards and yards of paddocks and fenced crops spanned across the enclosed valley with the odd dilapidated farmhouse or shed spotting the landscape. Wheat grew freely to waist height and large shaggy ox like creatures known as Druffalo gazed happily in their appointed fields, barely glancing at us as we walked by. A single wide dirt road weaved its way straight down the middle of the region and lead us to a small cluster of bigger better kept homes at the far in of the valley.

It also lead to the largest stables I’d ever seen. Not that I’d seen too many by any means, most farms I’d encounter back home were small rural ones, on the odd chance they actually kept horses they were normally housed out in the paddocks with some trees or small shelter for coverage. Most places back on Earth only kept at most half a dozen horses unless they were in the racing business. They weren’t required to run farms anymore or even for travel, they were seen as hobbies or pets, expensive ones at that. I’d only every been to a proper stable once for a Girl Guide trip and honestly I hadn’t even gotten the chance to get inside the doors let alone onto a horse. In my excitement I’d fallen down the bus steps and broken my wrist, cutting my trip short and landing me in a bulky cast for six weeks.

Theses stables weren’t built to hold a dozen horses, they were built to hold an entire armies worth. I could see scores of the magnificent beasts running and grazing in nearby paddocks and could hear the pleasant shuffle and nickers of more from inside the wooden stables.

As we walked by Varric wrinkled his nose and waved a hand in front of his face.

“Well that explains why the harvest here is so good?” he commented.

“What do you mean?” I asked confused.

“Horse manure,’ he explained, “Best thing for growing crops, and they would get a shit load of it for free… literally.”

“How long have you been waiting to use that one Varric?” Solas asked dryly.

“Since I heard we were heading this way.”

I snorted and playfully punched the dwarf on his shoulder.

We made our way up the path to the biggest house which stood at the very end of the road. The door was already open so Cassandra led our party in without preamble calling out our arrival to the seemingly empty entrance hall. A dark skinned man who looked to be at least in his late fifties/ early sixties walked in from a side room and Cassandra introduced herself and inquired about the Horse Master.

“So you’re the Inquisition eh?” he said, his voice coarse and gruff as he looked us over. He was a big man, only just smaller in build and height than Cullen. His face was worn and weathered from years working under the sun, trimmed beard already grey. Despite his age his arms still looked to be thick with muscle and he held himself well. “I hear you’re trying to bring order back. It’s high time someone did.”

“That’s us. Fighting the good fight, defenders of the people, innocent bystanders dragged kicking and screaming into the fray….” Varric said cheerily before Cassandra silenced him with an annoyed glance.

“Names Dennet,” the man said, offering each of us his hand to shake. “I served Arl Eamon for thirty years as Horse Master. I hear your Inquisitions is looking for mounts.”

“It is,” Cassandra replied. “Can you help us?”

“Not at the moment,” Dennet replied crossing his arms across his chest. At our disappointed and disapproving looks he quickly spoke in his defence. “I can’t just send a hundred of the finest horses in Ferelden down the road like you’d send a letter. Every bandit from here to Haven would be on them like flies on crap. You’ll have mounts once I know that they won’t end up as a cold winter’s breakfast.”

“Eeuw, horse porridge,” I murmured wrinkling my nose at the thought. “Is there anything we can do to change your situation? We could really use your assistance.”

“My wife Elaina runs the farms and Bron’s in charge of my guards. They’ll tell you what we need. But it’s late, why don’t do join us for dinner we can discuss things then. We have a few empty houses nearby you can use for the night, a lot of our workers have left to flee the fighting so there’s room for you if you’d like.” Dennet offered briskly, the man was straight to the point it seemed.

“Yes!” I said quickly. “That would be fantastic thank you!”

Cassandra and Solas looked at me curiously, it wasn’t like me to happily impose on others.

“What? They’re not being used and I haven’t slept on an actual bed for days!” I gushed enthusiastically. “Think of the matrices people!”

 

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Dinner with Dennet and his family was pleasant enough. We sat at his table and enjoyed the large servings of hearty Ferelden soup and roast lamb and vegetables with the rest of his household. Dennet sat at the head of the long table with his wife Elaina to his left, next to her sat Bron, a grim faced man who was basically in charge of security in the farmlands. An important role considering it was a large stretch of valuable land that normally housed dozens of families, though those numbers had dwindled of late. Seanna, Dennets daughter, sat across from her mother but couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Bron. She was around my own age and seemed infatuated with the older man, hanging on his every word as he explained his ideas to prevent bandits in the area from bothering travellers. He, Cassandra and Solas had spent more time planning and plotting ideas for watch towers than actually eating, while I did listen I didn’t have much to contribute so I concentrated on the yummy spiced lamb. There was a handful of other people, farmers and their children but given the empty seats along the table it was clear that many people had already left the area.

Elaina explained that the encounter we had with the wolves outside the farmlands wasn’t a one off. These wolves had been hassling and targeting the farmers since the Breach formed, sadly they’d lost more than one person to the vicious animals and many of their workers had left because of this. By the end of the evening we had agreed to hunt down the wolf pack for the safety of the Redcliffe farmers and had plans to mark out land in preparation for watch towers the next morning.

With another busy day ahead of us we were shown to a small wooden one room house across one of the paddocks, Dennet unlocked the door for us and wished us a good night but not before telling us to come by the stables the next morning to see him before we set out.

Solas lit the empty fireplace giving us light and warmth with a flick of his hand, in the flaming light we were able to see the home better. Next to the stone fire place was a simple bench and several empty storage containers for food, there was and old table with a few chairs and some extra stools pile neatly in a corner alongside a lone mottled couch. A double bed sat to one side of the house, its blankets and pillow kept safe in a chest at the end of the bed and two sets of narrow bunk bed were pushed up against the opposite wall. Apparently who ever had left this place had tried to leave it neat and packed tight for their eventual return, even so there was already grass growing up through sections on the floor boards and the air smelt stale and musty.

“This is homey,” Varric rumbled already stalking to one of the bunks and throwing his pack down.

“Shot gun top bunk!” I said quickly making my way over to the other bunk and shimmying up to the top, testing the bed with a flop and wiggle. “Aaagh, this is much nicer than the ground.”

“Shot gun?” questioned Varric, face full of amusement. “You say some strange things Sunshine.”

“Hush chatty dwarf,” I murmured rolling to my side. “I’m enjoying the comfy goodness.”

Something soft and bumpy was thrown into my back and I grunted in surprise twisting to find a bundle of blankets sitting next to me. Cassandras dark head disappearing into the bunk beneath mine.

“At least take off your armour before you go to sleep Evelyn,” she sighed.

I groaned like a grumbling teen but sat up and discarded my armour dropping it over the side of the bunk with a clatter much to Cassandras disapproval. Then went my belt, boots and socks ect until I was left in my loose billowing tunic and leather pants. I was just shaking out my hair from its braid, sighing with relief as my hair was freed from its tight bindings when I looked up to see Solas sitting cross legged on the double bed across the room, having discarded his own layers the elf was currently shirtless wearing nothing but his green leather breaches. My eyes fell unwillingly to his bare chest, pale and smooth in the firelight, his shoulders broader than I’d thought funnelling down to narrow hips and a surprisingly chiselled abdomen.

My mouth went dry.

_Oh sweat Maker… I mean Lord!_

Just at that moment he looked up, his eyes meeting mine for a moment as I felt myself redden with embarrassment at being caught ogling. And then he smiled, a devilishly cocky one sided smirk like he knew exactly why I was staring. He nodded once, never breaking eye contact.

“Good night Herald,” he said smoothly, his use of my tittle putting a teasing tone to his words. “Sleep well.”

“Uh, right yes, good- good night Solas,” I stuttered before hurriedly throwing out my blankets and burying myself under them, hearing Varric chuckle loudly at my expense.

“Look Chuckles you made her blush!”

I ignored them and eventually my breathing evened out and body relaxed, vaguely aware of the sounds of my companions settling down for the night. As I drifted off I found myself thinking:

_Wow, who’d have thought he was hiding a body like that under those simple tunics?_

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I slept well that night, a full belly and comfortable bed making up for the dreadful last few nights I’d had. I woke feeling better than I had since arriving in The Cross Roads. Its seemed longer ago than just a few nights. The morning was made all the better with the arrival of Seanna and a basket of eggs, some rashers of bacon, a loaf of bread and a small bottle of fresh milk, extras from their kitchen she told us happily before skipping off with a second basket I presumed she was going to give to Bron given her eager steps and dreamy smile.

I offered to prepare breakfast and ended up making a batch of French toast and bacon only burning the first few attempts as I got used to frying over an open fire instead of a stove. It was by no means a feast but my companions seemed to enjoy it so I was happy.

“If this is what we get when you have a good night’s rest I’m going to invest in a bedroll for you Sunshine,” Varric praised digging into his third slice of French toast.

I blushed with the praise.

“It’s nothing special just eggs and bread.”

“It’s not just the breakfast,” he said through a mouthful. “You’re happy again. A good sleep does you the world of good.”

I smiled at the dwarf and went to pack away the cleaned bowls and pans I’d borrowed from the farm house.

It was more than just a good night’s sleep, though it wasn’t something I was willing to confess to my companions just yet. That would mean admitting out loud just how unprepared I’d really been for this trip and how disturbed I had been by what I’d encountered, not that they probably didn't already know, still I didn’t want to seem weak in their eyes. These people were like heroes from my books, it was no surprise to me that I found myself wanting to impress them, to gain their approval. I didn’t want them to look down on me but given my gloomy behaviour these last few days I was worried that ship may have already sailed. I only had myself to blame if that was the case, but hopefully I could move on from it.

Sometime between recklessly closing that Rift and killing the wolf that was attacking Varric I’d come to terms, at least partially, with the prospect of killing to protect. It didn’t mean I liked it or condoned it and I definitely stood by my resolution of not killing a living person, but I found the deaths didn’t weigh down as heavily on my conscience as they had previously. Maybe because I'd had to do it myself to save Varric and myself, sure it was just a wolf but for me killing it had felt like a big deal, only when it came down to it... it was surprisingly easy to let go of the bow string and let the creatures die. It still made me sad that our opponents had to die, in my eyes it was still a waste but if they didn’t die then other more innocent people would, people like Dennet and his family.

After our breakfast we made our way over to the stables where Dennet was already waiting for us, the paddock behind him holding an assortment of a dozen different horses.

“Morning Inquisition,” he greeted, dusting his hands off on his pants as he approached. “I trust you slept well.”

“Fantastically,” I replied warmly. “Thank you so much for your hospitality and the food. I hope we can repay your kindness.”

“You lot are already doing more than anyone else,” He said gruffly. “Though if you can sort out those wolves and get those watch towers up and going it will be more than enough repayment. Until then you deserve something better than whatever knock kneed plow nags they’ve given you.”

“We weren’t given any horses,” I replied a little puzzled at what he was trying to say. “We walked here.”

“Maker, the Inquisition really does need mounts.” He said raising a shaggy eyebrow in disbelief. “I didn’t realise just how in need you were.”

I could feel myself flushing in humiliation at the Inquisitions behalf.

“Here,” he said waving us to follow him as he entered the paddock. “These are some of our best horses, even have a few bred here for stouter people like yourself Master Tethras.”

“You’re giving us horses?” I said finally catching on.

“Is that not why you came here to procure horses for the Inquisition?”

“The Inquisition yes, not… well not for me,” I replied eyes wide.

“We will be doing a lot of traveling, you in particular Evelyn.” Solas reasoned. “There are Rifts all over Ferelden and Orlais it will require some long trips if you are to close them all. Horses are much more efficient. It would be unwise to look a gift horse in the mouth so to speak.”

“I suppose,” I said uncertainly looking up at the nearest of the creatures. They were so big up close.

“It is a very generous offer,” Cassandra said humbly nodding her thanks to the Horse Master.

“Well don’t just stand there,” Dennet growled. “Have a look and find one that suits you all.”

Varric was shown over to a pair of horses that were only slightly bigger than pony sized while Cassandra and Solas calmly walked among the other beasts admiring and occasionally approaching the odd horse to test its temperament, Dennet and a few other stable hands offering advice or information on each. I followed quietly, clearly out of my element.

I liked horses just fine, played with little plastic ones when I was six and begged for my own when I was eight after watching too many horse movies like Black Beauty. But I’d never spend any time with them. Not only did I not know what I was looking for I wouldn’t know what to do with my own if I did pick one.

Solas and Cassandra were standing by a large black horse with grey sock markings when I caught up with them, a stable hand holding its reigns.

“I never said I was frightened of horses,” Cassandra was saying defensively to a smiling Solas. “They just… have such large teeth.”

I followed her gazes, eyes falling on the horse’s mouth where it chewed on the metal bit.

_Those were some massive chompers…._

“He’s the fastest mount we have my Lady,” the stable hand offered.

Cassandras face lit up thoughtfully.

Across the paddock Dennet watched our progress, noticing my gazes the old man silently caught my attention and gestured me over. Curiously I joined him.

“You’ve never ridden a horse before?” he said simply.

I shook my head negative, wondering how it was he could tell.

“Never really been around too many before,” I admitted.

He gestured a short distance away to where a horse stood calmly, seeming to watch the rest of the herd with big thoughtful eyes.

“The chestnut over there is a purebred Ferelden Forder. Take care of him and he’ll take care of you, Herald.”

I hesitated for a moment before making my way cautiously toward the horse. Dennet was an expert he wouldn’t steer me wrong in something like this…

I hoped.

The horse was slightly smaller than the black horse Cassandra was considering but still made an impressive animal. His dark chestnut coat shined in the sun with strong muscles shifting beneath, his black mane and tail were fell straight and untangled. There was a strip of white down the middle of his long face and its legs were a darker brown than that of the rest of his body. Dark eyes watched me as I approached, hand raised cautiously in front of me like how I would offer it to a stray dog to sniff, a very big dog. When he didn’t bolt or start I kept creping forward until he seemed to get sick of my slow approach and stepped forward himself, his nose bumping up into my hand as if to say “Get on with it women.”

I laughed and began to stroke down the middle of his long face, then ran my hand along his neck when I got more confident.

“You really are quiet pretty you know,” I murmured.

The horse threw his head back in an undignified snort.

“Sorry, handsome, I meant handsome.” I amended quickly happy when he seemed to huff in acceptance.

“I think you found a new friend Sunshine,” Varric said coming up behind me. Cassandra, Solas and Dennet close at his heels.

“Does he have a name?” I asked Dennet.

“We prefer to let whoever buys them pick their names, they tend to change them anyway.”

“Got something in mind?” Varric asked eagerly.

I thought for a moment, at first trying to think of famous horses from home I could name him after; Pharlap, Flicka, Shadowfax, Zoros horse Tornado, Black Beauty… Mr Ed. None of which seemed right, so I thought of transport from my own world, car brands like Mercedes or Volvo, bikes like a Ducati, planes, rockets….

Then it came to me.

_Oh this is perfect!_

I giggled happily to myself.

“His name is Millennium Falcon,” I declared seriously. “Falcon for short…. Or Fal maybe.”

“Millennium Falcon?” Varric asked quizzically sounding the name out and coming to stand beside us.

I smiled eagerly, put on an offended haughty tone and quoted;

"You've never heard of _the_ _Millennium Falcon?…_ It's the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."

They all looked at me with blank stares, I sighed.

_My jokes were wasted on these people._

“But a parsec is a measure of distance…. That makes no sense” Cassandras thick accent pondered in confusion.

With that I lost it, laughing until I had tears running down my cheeks and I had hold on to Falcon for support. Everyone else looked like I was mad but I didn’t care.

It was worth it for that response alone.

“Welcome to the madness Falcon,” Varric muttered patting my new horses flank sympathetically. “You’re going to have your work cut out for you with this one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I know Cassandra would have no clue what a parsec is seeing as Thedas doesn't seem to have a concept of Space ect but it was to good of an opportunity to let pass.  
> If you don't get the reference sorry :(  
> If your wonderful enough to leave comments or suggestion than I will consider using them like I did here, its only fair seeing as your reading my stuff and i'm writing for you amusement as much as mine.  
> So leave a kudos or Comment and I will update again soon.


	14. Big Bad Wolves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You! You throw around the very forces of nature like it’s as easy as breathing for Christ sakes. When have any of you felt so completely out of your league? All of you are just so overwhelmingly competent! Its maddening!"  
> Evie deals with horses, wolves and her own demons as she and Solas have a little chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally its up.  
> Wont deny some parts of this were more fun to write than others, I'll let you guess which.  
> Hope you enjoy.

## Big Bad Wolves ##

 

Seeing as I knew next to nothing about horses Dennet had his daughter go through some beginner lessons with me. I was taken out to an empty paddock, my companions stood vigilant nearby watching my progress, offering hints and in Varric case laughing gleefully at my mistakes. Over the duration of the morning I was taught about the different parts and maintenance of Falcons ridding gear, how to put it on and take it off, what care he would need while out of the stables and on the road with us and of course the basics of how to ride.

There was a lot to take in.

It was rather similar to how Cullen had been teaching me fight. When I finally managed to actually get into the saddle by myself Seanna spent a long time fixing my posturing and hand positions before going over and guiding me through the different actions and commands that would control Falcons movements and gait. She was very quick speaking and overly enthusiastic but the young women seemed to know her stuff, she would make me copy and repeat everything she said to me until I could recite it before deeming me worthy to walk him around the paddock myself.

It was strange being up on the sturdy animals back as he walked, feeling its powerful body shift as he moved about and trying not to wobble and sway off my seat. Falcon was a very well trained animal, listening to my commands happily, seeming to recognise my nerves he was remarkably gentle and cautious in his movements as I got use to him. After a while I began to enjoy myself and feel more at ease he slowly became more sure in his own movements and we built up to a trot.

“How about you take him out on one of the tracks before you leave,” suggested Seanna as she opened the gates to the paddock and gesturing to a narrow dirt track which wound its way around the property before disappearing around a bend. “I made them myself.”

She looked so proud and hopeful but I was a little hesitant, I could see Cassandra over the girls shoulder frowning darkly.

“I don’t know Seanna…”

“Oh come on,” she pleaded already leading Falcon out by his bridle. “We hardly ever get anyone new here and everyone else has already tried all my tracks. You’ll be great. You’ll enjoy racing I promise.”

“Wait! Racing?” I gasped twisting in my seat to stare down at the other girl. “I’m not ready to run!”

“Don’t be modest you’ll be fine,” She reassured airily. “It’s easy.”

“Seanna?! Wait I don’t think I can-” I said nervously, trying to stop her but the Horse Masters daughter didn’t seem to be listening. From the corner of my eyes I saw Cassandra and Varric hurriedly making their way forward, faces masks of concern and worry.

They were too late.

Seanna raised a hand and brought it down with a firm slap to Falcon rump.

“HIYA!”

The horse lurched forward with a grunt, I cried out and clutched frantically at his reins before bailing on that idea and throwing my arms around his thick neck. Plastering myself along his body I held on desperately as he galloped forward, terrified of being thrown off at this speed.

I could hear Cassandra calling my name but the sound faded away, quickly drowned out through distance and the sound of thundering hooves. I could feel the air whistling past as it tugged at my clothes and hair. Staring on in a horrified shock I watched the ground passing beneath us at a ridiculous speed, Falcon following the twisting track through instinct or memory without my guidance. probably a good thing he was as I couldn’t remember what I needed to do to control him, too stunned by the sudden turn of events. I afraid to let go of his neck and sit back, images of falling to the hard ground and being trampled floating through my head.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh balls….. shit!”

 _Get a grip Evie! Pull yourself together_ , I mentally scolded myself. _You don’t do something you will be thrown off!_

We raced around another bend and I stifled a whimper, the ground tilting up ahead as Falcon ran up a cliff side ledge. The change in position causing him to slow just enough for me to chance looking up and cautiously lean back a little to sit properly and scrabble at the reigns. I managed stop myself from hastily pulling the horse to a sudden stop, something told me that wouldn’t end well for either off us. I experimentally pulled back just a little and was relieved to find Falcon slowed down, not by much but enough for me to feel in control again.

And just like that the fear faded away… and turned to bubbling excitement.

My heart was still thudding in my throat but knowing I could stop anytime gave me a feeling of safety. I put my faith in Falcon and let him take me for a ride, knowing in the end I still had command even if the ride was wild and extreme.

 _So this was why people choose motorbikes over cars_. It was such a thrill.

I threw my head back and whooped happily, laughing as Falcon seemed to read my enjoyment and tossed his own neck back neighing in joy and speeding up again.

“Evelyn!”

I twisted around slightly in my saddle and smiled broadly.

“Solas!” I called happily, pulling Falcon to slow just enough for the elf to catch up. He was coming up behind me at great speeds. Riding a large grey and white speckled horse with a dark mane and glossy tail and he was doing so without a saddle. Evidently I his haste to catch up with the runaway Herald he had forgone its use.

“Are you alright?” he asked in concern as he drew level with Falcon and I. Taking in my smiling face and Falcons easy gate as we continued to slow Solas’s concern turned to relief. “You got him under control, well done!”

“I think he was always under control,” I replied sheepishly. “It was me who panicked but we’re good now. Aren’t we boy?”

Falcon snorted.

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

Solas shook his head in disbelief.

“You continue to surprise me. I thought for certain I would find you broken on the side of Seanna’s track yet here you are looking like you spent the last ten years atop that horse.”

“You’re one to talk,” I scoffed. “How are you doing that without a saddle? How are you even holding on?!”

“A story for another time I think da’len,” he replied, eyes shining with mirth. “For now I think we need to get back before you give poor Cassandra a heart attack.”

“I suppose,” I was reluctant to cut this short now that I was having a bit of fun but I knew he was right.

Didn’t mean the fun had to stop though.

“Hey Solas?” I sing songed, trying and failing to hide my eager smile.

“Yes?” He raised a curious eyebrow at my tone.

“Race ya!” I cried.

Falcon and I were off and running before I even finished.

… And Solas was right behind us laughing lightly.

We raced along the track, leaning into the dips and drops, splashing through a shallow stream and up another path. The ground flying away beneath us, the wind parting around us. All the while couldn’t help the childish grin splitting my face.

It was over far too quickly, Solas of course won our little race. He stuck close at first, I suspect to make sure I didn’t fall off, but as soon as the stables came back into view the Mage sent me one last smirk before slipping ahead with ease and finishing half a yard in front of me.

 _Ass!_ He’d been holding back this whole time.

On our arrival Cassandra was quick to my side and couldn’t seem to make up her mind to either scold me for being irresponsible or fuss over me like a concerned mother. So she alternated between the two.

“What happened? What were you thinking?! Coming in like that, you had us worried. Are you hurt? You could have died! Why are you so careless? Why didn’t you stop her? Are you insane! Are you sure you’re alright?”

I tried placating her by shaking off her concerns, my ride with Falcon making me feel confident even if I didn’t win. I told her it was ok, saying I was fine, I was never in any danger, that I was completely capable and she should stop worrying ……

Then I went and ruined it all by falling off Falcon when I went to dismount, ending up with a face full of dirt.

_Alright, maybe I still needed some lessons…._

 

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We left the horses with Dennet, setting out to mark potential watch tower positions on foot. Seeing as we were going to head back to Haven when this was over we figured the mounts should rest in safety while they had the chance. There was some hiking involved but at least we managed to avoid any more rogue Templars or Mages.

Along the way we came across two small Rifts, one of which was right on the edge of Dennets land. We dealt with the demons with relative ease and again I managed to close both Rifts myself without any aid from Solas, only staggering a little after the second Rift. It seems using the mark was getting a little easier with each time I used it, though my arm still felt like it was going to split apart each time it was used.

With the Rifts and towers out of the way our focus turned to hunting down the wolves.

It was mid-afternoon by the time Cassandra and Solas managed to track down the packs lair. How they did was still a mystery to me. Even when they tried pointing out prints or tracks in the grass I still couldn’t see what it was they were pointing to. I decide to just take their word for it. The trail lead us through a small canyon following a path besides a clear flowing river that branched from a waterfall at the canyons head. We skirted around and avoided a third Rift, Solas was concerned it would be too much for me to deal with in one day. It was secluded enough for the moment that even Cassandra wasn’t all that concerned with leaving it for another day. Further down the canyon branched off into a large rocky clearing and beyond that into a network of caves. Three large black furred wolves lounged in the clearing, the corpse of a dead ram lying discarded in the middle of the lawn.

“Looks like we found them,” Varric muttered, silently taking Bianca from her holster and taking aim.

“Fast and quiet,” Cassandra commanded preparing to launch herself forward. “On my move…”

As Cassandra threw herself into the clearing Varric took out one wolf with ease before tagging the closest one to Cassandra on its hind leg. Solas used a powerful stone fist spell to knock a third wolf back against the rocky wall with a sickening crunch and Cassandra took out the remaining injured beast with a single thrust of her sword. Watching them fight I realised that my companions may not have been together for long, but they had adapted to each other’s abilities remarkably well. They worked together seamlessly.

I helped checked the bodies, sadly running my hand along the bloodied fur of the first wolf Varric had killed. It was so soft, reminding me off my dog back home.

My throat felt tight.

_Don’t Evie, swallow it down. It was not a family pet, it was a mad dog that needed to be put down._

“Such a sad waste of a beautiful creature,” Solas smooth voice said softly.

I stood up to face him, looking desperately for a distraction from my own thoughts.

“Do you know a lot about wolves?” I asked curiously.

“I know they are intelligent, practical creatures that small minded fools think of as terrible beasts.” The elf all but snarled.

“Back home wolfs are considered to be loyal and majestic,” I said softly. “They live solely for their family. I don’t think you’d ever find a wolf being selfish or intentionally cruel, can’t say the same for most people.”

The elf looked at me strangely, with fathomless eyes I couldn’t read. I felt my checks heating.

“Sorry. D-did I just say something stupid?”

“No,” he shook his head and smiled reassuringly. “It’s nothing Evelyn, don’t trouble yourself with me.”

“If you’re sure…” I trailed off confused at his odd look as Cassandra waved us forward into the caves.

We found the rest of the pack inside the caves, close to a dozen of the beasts snarling and whimpering. Jaws frothing and long sharp teeth already bared before we’d even come into view, the reason for their madness standing amongst them. Tall and thin with long spindly limbs lined with barbs and spikes, a long thin tail lashed about behind it erratically, the spines causing gouges in the dirt as it whipped to and fro. Its large hands ended in talons as long as my forearm and as sharp as razors, the top of its head covered in bulging murky eyes, mouth open impossibly wide in a perpetual scream displaying rows and rows of serrated teeth, lining every crevasse of its maw.

My blood ran cold and legs fell numb as I stared at the creature from the depths of the most horrific nightmare.

“Jesus….” I breathed weakly.

_Fucking hell, no wonder the poor wolves were driven mad!_

I knew what it was, my lessons were nothing if not thorough.

That was a Terror demon.

It shrieked, the awful guttural noise that bounced through the caves making my skin crawl unpleasantly.

And then the wolves attacked.

I stood by Varric, trying to keep the snapping jaws away from him so he could aim and shoot, swinging out in hasty movements to keep so many of them back. Having Solas’s protection barrier was a blessing, without it both of us would have more gashes and cuts than we were coming away with. From the edge of my vision I could see flashes of the apostates magic and Cassandras fearless swings as she took on the demon.

“Aim for the Terror!” I urged Varric. Knocking down another wolf with the head of my staff, only for it to get back up and try another angle of attack. “It’s making them like this.”

Varric grunted in agreement but was forced more often than not to change targets to protect himself from the surrounding pack.

A frustrated snarl from Cassandra had me looking up in time to witness the Terrors tail disappearing into the earth beneath where it had been standing, a strange green mist billowing about her ankles in its place.

“I lost it!” she growled. “Be on guard, it could be anywhere.”

I fought town a wave of mindless fear and swiped at another wolf, hating the fact that I could no longer see the demon.

For a moment we kept fighting, then out of the corner of my eye I noticed a green mist developing under Varrics heavy boots. My heart seemed to stutter to a halt as I realised what that meant.

“Varric move!” I cried in warning. Ignoring the surrounding wolves I ran towards him, the mist was spreading outwards and I could feel it vibrating as I crossed over it, the sensation seemed to be echoed in my marked palm, an unpleasant pulsing feeling that left me feeling clammy and unclean.

Varric, too preoccupied with the wolves, didn’t notice the danger he was in and seemed unable to move away else give the attacking wolves an opening.

So I made him.

I’m an average sized girl, maybe I have little more fat on my form than I’d like…. Ok no maybe about it…. but I certainly wasn’t built to tackle people. Varric may have been a lot shorter than I but he was solidly built so when I threw myself at the dwarf and grabbed a hold of his leather duster in an attempt to drag him sideways and down the force of my throw was enough to knock the breath from my lungs and cause Varric to stagger and stumble out of the centre of the mist field. At that moment the ground erupted beneath us sending booth of us air born, I was dimly aware of Varrics shocked cry beneath my own startled scream before we landed sprawling on the hard ground and rolling into a tumbled pile. Something hard jabbed painfully into my ribs and my forehead coped a powerful blow from what I suspected to be Bianca’s hilt while my boot connected solidly with Varrics stomach.

Stunned and disorientated I struggled to righted myself, feeling Varric do the same next to me swearing colourfully as he did. Looking up I felt my blood chill as I saw the Terror standing over the two of us arms spread wide as it prepared to dive onto its fallen prey, its wicked claws ready to strip us into bloodied ribbons.

There was a blast of arctic blue and the demon began to freeze, ice creeping up its long limbs while it screamed. Then Cassandra was in front, spinning in a tight circle and using the momentum to crash her shield through its chest causing the Terror to shatter.

I fell back onto the ground with a shaky relieved exhale.

_Damn, I loved that spell._

“You alright Varric?” I rasped.

“I think Biancas gotten scratched!” he whined in panic.

“Probably from my head… Sorry about that.”

“Not that I’m not grateful for the assistance Sunshine but next time give me a little warning.”

“I told you to move!”

Varric didn’t listen, he was too busy cooing to his crossbow. “Did the mean Heralds head attack you baby, I’m sorry….”

I snorted and rolled to get up, wincing as the world tilted and my side panged in discomfort. As I did I noticed the remaining handful of wolves huddled at the caves edge, having forgotten about them in the face of the Terror I immediately froze warily. They were no longer attacking, instead they eyed us defensively. For a while we stared each other down until one of the remaining wolves let out a long mournful howl.

It broke my heart to hear that noise, it held so much pain and sorrow.

After that they left, giving their fallen pack mates a few last sniffs and nuzzles before fleeing the cave.

“Where do you think they’re going?” I asked no one in particular. “I thought this was their home.”

“They are free from the demon but I fear it had already destroyed this pack,” Solas said coming up beside me. “I suspect they will not return here and will seek out a new home elsewhere.”

“I hope they are happier wherever they end up,” I replied sadly.

The elf smiled indulgently.

“Come Evelyn, let me see to that head.”

“Maybe you should check out Varrics first,” I smiled brightly “… or possibly Bianca. Whatever helps.”

 

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With the wolves gone we decided to spend the night in the now empty den, too tired a weary to make the short journey back to the farms. The open caves were secluded and as safe as any place at the moment the high walls giving us ample protection from the elements, not bothering with tents we set out our blankets and built a fire pit. Varric was left in charge of preparing dinner and was busy cooking up a stew of some sort while Cassandra began polishing her armour and sharpening her sword by the firelight, Solas had wondered off to explore the area.

I was feeling gritty and uncomfortable, we’d had so many busy days involving fights and sweaty walks with only a bowl and cloth to whip away the days grime. I was missing my shower something awful, not used to spending so long so…. Unclean. My mind kept wandering back to the stream by the entrance of the cave, the clear running water. It showed my desperation that even chilly river water possibly containing fish seemed like an excellent idea.

Mind made up I gathered some items from my pack and told Cassandra where I was going, promising not to go far and that I would be careful the Seeker reluctantly gave me permission to go alone. I couldn’t help the eager skip in my step as I made my way out to the stream.

The section of river I’d chosen was protected on one side by a high mountain wall. A small waterfall and cluster of broken trees kept me hidden from upstream and down and I had to climb down a few feet to hit the small pool so even on my exposed side if I was submerged in the water it would be difficult for anyone to see me. I desperately wanted a proper bath but I refused to swim naked out in the open even hidden as I was. While there wasn’t anyone around and the others were within shouting distance if I needed assistance you never know when a rogue Templar or lost demon would wander by and I was helpless enough as it was without being caught with my pants down. Literally. Instead I waded into the water wearing my undies and a spare tunic that fell to mid-thigh with the sleeves rolled up past my elbows. I'd worn less sunbathing on a beach. The water was cool enough that my breath hitched and I had to wait till I adjusted to the temperature before slowly lowering myself into the deeper area. It came up to my naval in the middle, the length of the pool making it so there wasn’t enough room to really swim but it was deep enough for me to float.

I sighed in contentment.

“Oh, I needed this.”

For a while I simply took pleasure in washing away the dust and grit, using my small bottle of conditioner to wash my hair and soaping myself up best I could while wearing a shirt. Then I just waded and floated, watching the ripples in the water and the stars as they began to come out. It was simply put: peaceful.

Until a sudden polite cough made me start and whirl around to find a very amused looking elf watching me.

“Solas!” I gasped in relief when I recognised him as a friend and not some creeper, very thankful I had decided to wear clothes. “You almost gave me a heart attack! You’re as sneaky as Varric you know that?”

He laughed.

“You are just very easily distracted when you let your mind wander.”

_That was very true._

“Where have you been?” I asked, keeping myself lowered in the water.

“Exploring the Fade,” he replied, deciding to sit on the edge of the bank and dangle his bare feet in the water’s edge as he talked. “There used to be a set of ruins nearby, they no longer remain standing but there were enough traces of the past to draw my attention.”

“Dream of anything good?” I enjoyed hearing of Solas’s Fade travels and was more than eager to hear more.

“Indeed, but we have other things to discuss if you recall.” The elf levelled me with a stern look.

 _Oh boy_. I’d forgotten about that.

“Do we have to?” I said looking up at him hopefully, trying to look innocent while knowing I was about to get growled at. “I’d rather hear about the Fade.”

He was not amused.

“Nice try Evelyn, but no.”

“Damn,” I cursed softly.

“What were you thinking?” he growled. “What you did at that Rift was beyond reckless. You could have been injured, or worse using the mark by yourself could have killed you!”

“I know….”

“But you decided to act dangerously anyway,” the Mage shook his head in disappointment. “You are smarter than this Evelyn, why make such stupid decisions?”

I flushed red with both embarrassment and guilt.

“I just felt like I needed to do something myself. Show that I wasn’t so useless.” I muttered.

“You don’t need to prove anything to us Evie,” he said frowning. “You can’t expect yourself to be as good a fighter as Cassandra or Varric. We understand you are new to this.”

“I know that. But it’s more than that. It’s just… it,” I looked away awkwardly. “It’s stupid.”

“You can talk to me Evelyn,” he said soothingly. “I’m just trying to understand.”

“Understand? How?! You guys are unbelievable you know that? You fight, shoot and kick ass without even flinching when you do something that should be impossible,” I began raving watching Solas’s eyes widen as I gestured to him with a splash. “You! You throw around the very forces of nature like it’s as easy as breathing for Christ sakes. When have any of you felt so completely out of your league. All of you are just so overwhelmingly competent! It's maddening! And then there’s me. This useless little tag along putting you all in danger and making you fight my battles because I can’t do it myself, even with all the training and lessons I’m still a liability. And then all those people you had to…”

I trailed off with a shudder, looking up at the elfs concerned face I took a deep breath and tried again.

“I wanted to be able to control something,” I explained. “I thought if I could control the mark and use it to close the Rifts than maybe the potential lives I save from the demon might somehow make up for the ones we had to kill on the way. I wanted…. I needed to be able to do something important myself, to atone for not being good enough to save them…. I told you it was stupid.”

The silence stretched between us for a moment until he sighed heavily and ran a hand over his bald head.

“It’s not stupid Evelyn,” Solas said softly. “You’re just trying to cope the best way you can. But you must understand, you are needed for this to succeed, _alive_. Not Varric or myself, not even Cassandra you are the one we need to survive. You are selfless by nature and I admire that in you but for the sake of Thedas you must put your own wellbeing first. No more endangering yourself. Please, for my own sake if not yours.”

I sighed shakily. I didn’t like it, but what he said was true. I was the only one with the mark

“I’ll try. I’m sorry for causing you trouble.” I offered quietly.

“No apologies necessary,” he warmly reassured.

I smile weakly back, “Soooo… that wasn’t awkward at all. Mind if a take myself off to a hole in the ground and hide for the rest of the evening?”

I was only half joking, this whole conversation was mortifying. I didn’t like feeling so emotionally exposed.

He chuckled standing himself up and dusting of his pants, looking down he offered me a hand up.

“Come, it’s getting late and I can picture Lady Cassandra getting impatient.”

I smiled shyly, taking his out stretched hand to help me balance as I clambered up the bank, water dripping of me noisily as I did, the cold air giving me goosebumps. Not paying attention where I put my feet my right foot still slick with water slipped on a mossy coated rock and I felt my world tilt backwards. With a startled squeak I fell back into the water still holding Solas’s hand. The elf startled by my ineptness made a hasty grab to try and pull me up only to be pulled down with me when the embankment slid out from under him.

We both went under with a splash, arms and legs flailing ridiculously as we went, Solas’s lean body covering the length of mine as he tried and failed to find something to grip and stop himself from crushing me as we submerged in the shallow water. In a startled panic unable to get out from under the elf I inhaled a mouthful or two of water and grabbed desperately at his now soaking vest. Solas obviously much calmer than I, was quick to react wrapping an arm around my middle and pulling me close to his body before abruptly twisting and turning so I was suddenly on top and he below. I sat up breaking the surface of the water, coughing and spluttering as I hastily drew air into my struggling lungs. Mildly aware that Solas was sitting himself up with a small gasp and propping his torso out of the water with his forearms, his face a mask of surprise and his clothes soaked through.

“I’m s-so sorry,” I gasped still holding tight to his vest now assessing him for injury in flustered panicked movements. “Are you all right? You’re not h-hurt are you? I’m so sorry Solas.”

“Calm down Da’len,” he chuckled warmly, whole body shifting beneath me drawing my attention to how I was currently sitting.

…. Straddling his waist…. half dressed…. Soaking wet with my top clinging thinly to my body.

I froze.

_Oh my…._

Solas seemed to notice as well.

One of his hand came to rest comfortably on my hip keeping me steady and holding me in place. His other came up to brush wet strands of my hair from my face, his fingertips lingering lightly against the swell of my cheek. The Mages clear blue eyes suddenly darker than I’d remembered, more steely, like thunder clouds.

Warmth settled low in my stomach and my breathing hitched.

_Holy hot flash Batman! Where that come from?!_

“That was certainly unexpected,” he murmured smooth voice pitching down an octave and becoming slightly rough, his clever fingers at my waist stroking my hipbone through the wet material of my tunic in seemingly unconscious little circles. “You are too clumsy for your own good Evelyn, I might need to keep a closer eye on you.”

“Huh… I- uh, sure, if you want,” I replied breathlessly before mentally face palming myself.

_Oh my god! Really? That’s what I come up with?! What was wrong with me!_

Solas hummed low in his throat, his normally serene calm façade replaced by something that looked almost predatory… hungry.

A small voice in the back of my head began to sing

_Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf… not me…._

My gaze fell to face, admiring the sharp angles of his jaw and the deep dimple in the middle of his chin, travelling up to his mouth, full lips slightly parted. He was a rather handsome man, there was something almost regal about him, something that was drawing me to him like a magnet.

His hand trailed down to my neck, long fingers softly caressing the back of my neck under my hairline and luring me forward.

I may have whimpered a little.

I was pretty sure I heard him growl.

Swallowing thickly I leaned in.

Only to jump back with a start when the sound of yelling could be heard from within the campsite.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT! How dare you-?!“

“Oh come on Seeker it was a joke! Can’t you at least find a sense of humour, then again you couldn’t find Hawke-“

Realisation hit me like a bucket of ice. Looking at Solas with wide eyes I found his own staring back at me, the heat that had been there moments ago suddenly gone. His face blank and unreadable.

My stomach clenched painfully.

“I- ah, I should get up,” I mumbled barely coherent, shaking with embarrassment and shame.

“Yes,” he replied tightly. “That may be for the best.”

I nodded stupidly standing up and hastily scrambling out of the water and up the bank, only slipping twice. I collected my things and with a last apologetic look in the sodden elfs direction I ran off to find a secluded place to change. All the while my heart seemed to drum from within my throat.

_What had just happened? What in the world had I been thinking?! Now was not the time to start up something with a pointy eared magic wielding older man from a different world! It just wasn’t practical._

So why did a have this hollow feeling of disappointment when I pictured his face, empty and closed off to me?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo..... thoughts, it wasn't much but I hope it was something.


	15. Holy Approval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Maybe Andraste wants her people to think and act for themselves for once. Maybe she’s sick of the Chantry sheep wanting her to magically solve all their problems for them.”
> 
> The gang head to Orlais to reason with the Chantry and Evie butts heads with an meddlesome Chancellor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, it took longer to finish than I hoped, So much to fit in.  
> I wanted to get this chapter over and done and couldn't bother splitting it up.   
> Heads up it's a long one.  
> Thank you for reading, as always I hope you enjoy :)

## Holy approval ##

 

The journey back to Haven took half as long on horseback on the return trip, even with occasional stop to deal with the odd Rift or two. Though it was faster I found riding for long periods to have just as many draw backs as walking, sitting atop of Falcons saddle for too long made my backside numb and my thighs and back ache. I was assured it would get easier the more I rode but for the meantime I spent as much time walking besides my mount as I did atop him if only to avoid developing ‘saddle sores’ as Varric so cheerful described them. At least Falcon carried the packs so I was relieved of that burden when I walked. It came as no surprise that my companions were all used to travelling on horses and were full of useful hints and instructions. Varric had even asked my assistance in naming his small shaggy golden coated horse, I had opted for the name Bilbo with the promise to explain the story behind it during our many evening story sessions when we set up camp.

I suppose it had been a rather successful venture despite all the drama and anguish I put myself through. We’d helped out as best we could, both The Cross Roads and Redcliffe Farmlands were safer and better off post our visits and by the time we returned Mother Gisele should have arrived at Haven. Hopefully we’d be able to fix things with the Chantry and make some head way with the Breach. Our small but significant victories seemed to have at least brightened morale within our little group, spirits were high, and Cassandra and Varric barely even squabbled. Everything seemed completely normal.

Which was unnerving.

After my little incident in the river Solas was acting completely ordinary, like nothing had happened. He wasn’t avoiding me, wasn’t being awkward or even flirty he was just being…. Well Solas.

I found myself wondering if I’d imagined the whole thing. Maybe he’d been lying beneath me in the pool looking terrified while I’d been all doe eyed and clueless.

_Had I just been caught up in the moment?_

_No,_ it wasn’t like I was so desperate for romance that I’d make-up the whole thing. A relationship here was just not possible. I knew that. Not only was I currently busy being overwhelmed as ‘the chosen of Andraste tasked with saving the whole god damn world’ I wasn’t staying here. Eventually I would find a way back home and I would return to my family and my own world, it was unavoidable. As much as I liked this place and its people I had a home and life to return to. I wasn’t going to start something that would inevitably end in tragedy, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us. Not to mention flings and one night stands never really appealed to me, not liking the idea of sharing something so intimate with a stranger you didn’t love…. It just wasn’t me.

In the end I decided that ignoring the whole episode was probably for the best. I liked Solas, I enjoyed his company and talking with him was interesting to say the least. I didn’t want to ruin that because I may have a little bit of a crush on the good looking elf with the surprisingly great body and…..

Those fantastic eyes, stormy and hungry.

_……….. Damn it!_

Besides it was obvious he didn’t want to pursue anything, I would just have to be content with being his friend. I could do that.

... I hoped.

When we reached Haven and dropped the horses off at the small stables it was already turning dark. All I wanted was to trudge into my cabin and fall into a proper bed without having to share my sleeping space with anyone, that wasn’t to be however. Leliana appeared out of the shadows like a ninja with a smile and welcome before whisking Cassandra and I off to the War Room to discuss what had occurred in the Hinterlands and our plans for what to do next.

Cullen and Josephine were both awaiting us in the secluded room, each of them looking irritatingly bright and awake for my tired state of mind but I found I was genuinely glad to see these people even after a short period away and managed to muster up a tired smile for each.

Gathering enough responsiveness and motivation to pay close attention to the back and forth arguments and discussion regarding what the Inquisition did next was another matter entirely. I tried but half of what they said didn’t make any sense to me anyway, making it difficult to want to be involved in the discussions. Honestly I was rather proud that I didn’t start dropping off into sleep where I stood.

Eventually conversation circled back to something involving me and I was forced to concentrate.

“Having the Herald address the clerics is not a terrible idea,” Josephine said cautiously, her ever present clip board draped across an arm, her quill continually making notes almost of its own accord.

“You can’t be serious,” scoffed Cullen. I was with him, looking across at the ambassador with shocked eyes.

“Mother Giselle isn’t wrong: at the moment the Chantrys only strength is that they are united by opinion,” she explained calmly shrugging off our horrified looks.

“And we should ignore the danger to the Herald?” Cullen pointed out gesturing my way.

“Let’s ask her?” Josephine replied turning all attention to me.

_Thanks for that Josie,_ I thought sending mental daggers her way.

Truthfully I wasn’t worried about the danger, I already had people trying to kill me, seemed too late to worry about more. I was more concerned about public embarrassment and failure. I didn’t want to make things worse for the Inquisition. Said a lot about my skewed priorities that I was more concerned about failure and embarrassment, than an assassination attempt. 

_There was seriously something wrong with me._

“Is sending me the best idea?” I said hesitantly. “I could make this a hundred times worse.”

“I doubt that’s possible given their current opinion on you,” said Cullen. “But sending the Herald won’t solve our problems, it just lends credence to the idea we should care what the Chantry says.”

“I will go with her,” Casandra offered walking forward from the back of the room, she turned to Leliana. “Mother Giselle said she could provide us names? Use them.”

“But why?” Leliana said looking put out. “This is nothing but a-“

“What choice do we have Leliana?” Sighed Cassandra in tired exasperation. “Right now we can’t approach anyone for help with the Breach. Use what influence we have to call the clerics together. Once they are ready we will see this through.”

I frowned to myself. It seemed that despite our success in the Hinterlands we were still clutching at straws and coming up empty. This was a desperate bid to gain some kind of support or backing we couldn’t move forward without.

I couldn’t mess this up.

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I slept very late the next day, thankful beyond measure that no one tried to wake me for any lessons or training. By the time I felt rested enough to face the day I’d missed breakfast and planned on heading to the tavern to find something more than bread and fruit to eat, The Singing Maiden did a mean chicken pie. Feeling the need for comfort I dressed in one of the few long skirts Josephine had procured for me, matching the flowing green material with an off the shoulder peasant style shirt, a velvety brown material vest over the top and a woollen shawl to counter the cold. I felt like I belonged in a renaissance fair, in other words I should blend right in as long as my mark was kept hidden beneath my gloves. It was nice to be out of armour for a change, to feel girly and feminine for awhile.

After a quick meal I decided to wander about the town just for the sake of it. We only had two days to rest before we planned to leave and meet the clerics in Orlais capitol city Val Royeaux, I was sure tomorrow would be full of lectures on what to expect and what not to do in Orlais so I had little time for leisure left. While walking towards the requisitions tents I noticed a large crowd of people milling about the front of the Chantry. A score of villagers seemed to be watching some kind of event on the steps of the large stone building.

Knowing that whatever was going on was probably none of my business I was still unable to squash my curiosity and decided to investigate. As I squeezed my way through the crowed to the front raised voices caught my attention, I watched on as a man in Templar garb approach another older man in a set of cream Mages robes. Behind each stood a small collection of their brethren.

_Oh no._ This could turn ugly.

“Your kind killed the Most Holy!” the Templar accused venomously, advancing on the Mage who already had his staff out.

“Lies,” the older man countered waving his staff angrily. “Your kind let her die!”

“Shut your mouth Mage!” The young Templar yelled, drawing his blade.

I was about to jump forward to intervene when someone beat me to it. A large imposing figure with a furry red pauldron and golden hair, Cullen was quick to force his way into the conflict. Throwing himself between the two and pushing them apart with ease to stand in the middle the Commanders face was a hard fierce mask of someone not to be messed with.

“Enough!” He growled.

“Knight Captain!” The Templar cried questioningly in surprise.

“That is not my tittle,” Cullen said firmly, staring down each man in turn and jabbing his index finger into their chests in emphasis of his anger. “We are not Templars any longer. We are all part of the Inquisition.”

“And what does that mean exactly?”

My stomach dropped and nose scrunched unconsciously in distaste as Chancellor Roderick walked into the middle of the unfolding scene, he was smirking with barely contained spite. Of course he’d show up now to stoke the fires of unrest, the man wouldn’t miss an opportunity to try and undermine us.

“Back already Chancellor?” Cullen snarled in obvious dislike. “Haven’t you done enough?”

“I’m curious Commander, as to how your Inquisition and its Herald will restore order as you’ve promised,” the man said, eyes glittering maliciously as he looked between the two opposing groups.

“Of course you are,” the Commander drawled in annoyance.

“By working together, all of us. However we can.” I said softly but firmly, red faced and shocked by my own brazen actions I stepped forward from the crowed to stand beside Cullen and stared evenly at the Chancellor who apparently hadn’t noticed my presence among the gathered audience. “It may not be a perfect plan at the moment but at least _we_ are trying to do something.”

Roderick’s face darkened considerably.

“The Herald of Andraste, come to grace us with your presence?” his voice thick with snark and sarcasm.

“No, just to stop you from deliberately causing unnecessary dissent and conflict,” I retorted sweetly. “Rather manipulative of you Chancellor, how very un- Andrastian.”

Roderick just glared and I responded in kind, sick of this man’s attempt to make us the bad guys. Cullen send me an oddly surprised look before turning to the onlookers and taking charge of the situation. The less people around to witness a catfight between the three of us the better, Josephine would not be pleased as it was.

“Back to your duties, all of you.” He said firmly the crowd quickly dispersing at his order, he was after all their Commander.

“What was that about Cullen?” I asked once everyone had left, ignoring the Chancellors presence.

“Mages and Templars were already at war, now they are blaming each other for the Divines death,” he explained sadly watching two groups walk their separate ways.

“Which is why we require a proper authority to guide them back to order,” Roderick interjected.

“Who? You?!” Cullen scoffed crossing his arms across his broad chest. “Random clerics who weren’t important enough to be at the Conclave?”

Roderick laugh haughtily. “The rebel Inquisition and it’s so called Herald of Andraste!? I think not!”

“We have the same goals here,” I tried to reason, putting aside my dislike of the man to try and make some form of peace. “I don’t see why we couldn’t work together.”

“We could if your Inquisition would recognise the Chantrys authority.”

“There is no authority until another Divine is chosen,” Cullen pointed out.

“In due time. Andraste will be our guide, not some dazed wanderer on a mountain side.” he said shooting a nasty glower my way.

“Maybe Andraste wants her people to think and act for themselves for once. Maybe she’s sick of the Chantry sheep wanting her to magically solve all their problems for them,” I quipped angrily.

Roderick’s face went purple and Cullen tried to stifle a snort of amusement behind his gloves.

“You little….”

“Careful Chancellor,” Cullen warned as the holy man clenched his fists and started towards me. “You don’t want to do something stupid here.”

“This whole thing is stupid!” I said exasperated at the entire situation. “We shouldn’t be enemies, no one here should be! All this fighting between Templars and Mages and us and the Chantry all over what happened at the Conclave…. And we don’t even know what actually happened!”

“Exactly why all this should be left to a new Divine. If you are innocent the Chantry will establish it as so,” said Roderick.

“Or will be happy to use someone as a scapegoat,” muttered Cullen darkly.

“You think nobody cares about the truth?” Roderick snarled. “We all grieve Justinia’s loss.”

“But you won’t grieve if the Herald of Andraste is conveniently swept under the carpet,” the Commander pressed.

Roderick didn’t respond choosing to stay silent, which was answer enough.

“Why are you even here?” I asked the man, honestly confused. “You don’t like us fine, then stay away. Just hovering around to cause trouble and discord is not just petty it’s pathetic. We’re trying to fix things but you and your biased opinions are making it impossible!”

I turned to Cullen. “Isn’t there a way we could… I don’t know, keep him out?”

“Clearly your Templar knows where to draw the line,” Roderick sniffed smugly.

“He’s toothless,” Cullen growled. “There’s no point turning him into a martyr simply because he runs at the mouth. He’s a good indicator of what to expect at Val Royeaux however.”

My face scrunched in disgust. “Sounds lovely.”

Cullen chortled under his breath.

“Indeed, I believe Josephine was looking to speak with you Herald. I would be happy to escort you,’ he said meaningfully. Reading it as my cue to escape I quickly nodded and fell into step behind the Commander as he walked into the Chantry, leaving a red faced Roderick behind.

“I don’t often say this about people,” I muttered to Cullen as we strode out of ear shot. “But I really don’t like that man. I mean _really_ don't like. He is a … a mean guy.”

He laughed, “You certainly gave him a talking to. Rather unlike you Evie.”

I groaned in embarrassment.

“I know! I’m sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Roderick just makes me so mad with all the rumours he’s spread and the whole superior than you vibe he gives.”

“Don’t apologise, that cockroach deserved everything you gave him and more. It was just an interesting surprise coming from you, particularly dressed as you are,’ he laughed and I could feel a cold sweat break out over my neck.

“Oh no! What’s wrong with how I’m dressed? Did I do something wrong? Do I look strange?!” I asked in a panic twisting my hands in the skirt before reaching up for the shawl. “It’s this thing isn’t it! I knew it was too much, do you think anyone noticed? I don’t want to give myself away…”

“What?! No! No, nothing like that you just… it’s different to see you dressed as such,” He said quickly, I watched has Cullen turned beet red and began to stumble over his words. “It’s quite a …. you…. Makers breath! You look nice. It um… rather suits you.”

Flushing in embarrassment at the complement I was momentarily overcome with how someone who was so intimidating and strong just a moment ago could suddenly turn so adorably awkward.

“Well that’s a relief,” I laughed shyly, fighting down my own blush. “Josephine would strangle me with a pair of stockings if my secret was found out because I couldn’t dress myself properly, that’s if Leliena hadn’t bludgeoned me with a shoe first.”

Cullen gave a short laugh and rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at me he smiled warmly before his gaze fell somewhere behind my shoulder. Straightening the Commander gave a small throat clearing cough and spoke with his normal confident drawl.

“Speaking of our lovely ambassador…”

“There you are!” Josephines voice called out, the familiar swish and ruffle of her clothes sounding in the Chantry as she exited her office. “We have so much to do, so much to go over before you leave. Andraste preserve us, there is so little time to waste. We haven’t even touched on most the Noble Houses of Val Royeaux or how to great the clerics ……”

Before I could even speak the other women had linked arms with mine and was steering me towards her office. I looked back over my shoulder with wide horrified eyes begging Cullen as I soundlessly mouthed the word ‘help!’

The traitor just smiled broadly and shrugged helplessly before turning and stalking back out the Chantry doors.

With a sigh I resigned myself to my fate.

So much for free time.

 

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The journey to Val Royeaux took two days on horse, a quick and pleasant trip with my now familiar traveling partners. Before I knew it we had dropped our mounts at a stable outside the city and began the long walk across an extensive stone and marble bridge to the city gates. And boy was it a city.

It was huge, surrounded by high protective walls a spires it looked to be almost twenty times the size of Haven. Beyond the walls the colourful and grand buildings seemed to rise upward becoming grander the further up they rose. As we crossed the bridge more of the city became visible through the high ornate portcullis that was raised in welcome to travellers and traders alike. Val Royeaux was a bustling Metropolitan, a grand city at the centre of its own world full of its own politics and traditions. Most places are distinguished by its people and the character they bring, not Val Royeaux though. Leliana had describe the capital as being her own person, calling her people (who called themselves ‘Royans’) little more than the city’s decorations. I could see why, the way they dressed like porcelain dolls on display with bright and shinning materials, corsets, high collars and wide skirts they almost seemed like ornaments meant for display. Everyone hiding their faces behind customary Orlesian masks making them seem even less like people.

It was impressively beautiful with its brightly coloured buildings and silk banners streaming from roof to roof. I could barely stop myself from rushing in, wanting to explore this new and wondrous place. Noting however that something was clearly off in the grand city, where there should be joy and chatter from the busy street and markets instead the air seem thick with tension and unease.

“The city still mourns,” Cassandra said solemnly from my side, drowning my excitement and awe as we drew closer to entering the city gates.

A lady dressed in a wide extravagant dress, big hat and mask promptly caught sight of us. She looked for a moment, whimpered and backed away before flat out running away with a small shriek. I stared after her in confused shock.

_What the heck?_

“Just a guess Seeker but I think they all know who we are,” Varric drawled.

Cassandra rolled her eyes and kept forward leading us through the gates and into a wide statue lined street.

“Your skills of observation never fail to impress me Varric,” she said dryly.

Admiring the large stone statues I looked up at the sounds of running steps to find a young women in the Inquisition uniform hurrying towards us, her face mostly hidden by her mint green shroud. She came to a stop in front of us.

“My lady Herald,” she said bowing hastily.

“Your one of Lelianas people,” Casandra said recognising the young women. “What have you found?”

“The Chantry mothers await you…,” She said sounding slightly nervous. “But so do a great many Templars.”

I looked to Cassandra in confusion before looking over to where Solas stood. Solas the illegal Mage. My stomach twisted with worry. Talking to the Templars about getting assistance was a priority true, but I didn’t want to risk the elfs freedom or life in the process. The Templars being here was both a lucky break and an unwanted complication.

“There are Templars here?” Cassandra replied curiously.

“People seem to think the Templars will protect them from…. From the Inquisition,” the scout replied somewhat reluctantly.

I winced.

_Well… that hurt._

We were trying to save these people, yet we were being seen as the bad guy. It felt like a punch to the stomach that anyone could think they’d need protecting from us.

The scout continued giving me a sympathetic look. “They are gathering on the other side of the market. I think that’s where the Templars plan to meet you.”

“Only one thing to do then,” Cassandra declared striding confidently forward.

I swallowed heavily and followed, nerves making my hands shake so I hid them in my pockets.

“Why is nothing ever easy…,” I sighed quietly to myself.

“They wish to protect the people? From us?” Cassandra grumbled incredulously.

“This doesn’t look good Cassandra,” I worried out loud. We’d come expecting a possible fight of words. We weren’t prepared to take on a patrol of Templars and likely city gaurds if it came to combat but backing out now didn’t seem possible. We couldn’t go any further without clearing the air with the Chantry and this was our chance to do that.

She frowned turning to the agent, “Return to Haven. Someone will need to inform them if we are… delayed.”

“Or captured… killed,” muttered Varric. I took a leaf out of Cassandra book and chose to ignore him for once.

As we walked into the City and through the streets towards the market place I found myself dragging my feet. A warm hand settled on my shoulder and I looked up to Solas’s concerned face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice lows so as not to alert the others.

“What if this doesn’t work?” I asked, feeling panic settling in. “They’ve already judged me it seems, what could I possibly say to change their minds when they’ve bought in Templars to _protect_ them from me?!”

“We won’t let them hurt you Evelyn,” the Mage said gently rubbing my shoulder in comfort, even in my nervous state I had to fight down a wave of sudden warmth.

“I’m not worried for me,” I replied looking at him earnestly. “We don’t get any help then we have no hope of closing the Breach, the Inquisition would be finished. And these Templars, Solas we can’t let them see you, you’re an apostate! God knows what they’d do to you!”

He smiled lightly.

“Do not be concerned for me da’len, I have been an apostate most my life. I have not survived this long without knowing how to avoid Templars. I will keep back for the time being but I won’t be far. As for the addressing the clerics, just be your normal self Evelyn. Let them see how far from a monster you truly are, if they have any sense they will see the truth, if not then they are hardly worth it.”

I took a deep breath and nodded.

“Thank you Solas.”

He gave me a brief incline of his head before moving away, hanging back in the street entrance while the rest of us entered the large circular market place. On the other side of a huge rounded tower that sat inconveniently in the middle of the market a small wooden platform had been raised, a large crowed already gathered.

Squaring my shoulders I followed Cassandra through, keeping my head high and trying to ignore the muttered insults and bitter comments that followed in our wake. After spending so much time with people who had accepted my innocence it was hard to hear the people here calling me a murderer and power hungry monster.

In the centre of the low stage stood a middle aged women wearing a set of shorter Chantry robes with leather leggings beneath, her head covered in a tall pope like hat. As she spoke the crowed listened to her heavily accented but clear voice, hanging off her every word. Behind her stood a half dozen of her Chantry peers and a young man with dark skin Templar robes. He stood hand clasped behind his back in a stance I’d seen many of the Ex-Templars of the Inquisition favoured when they listened to Cullens instructions during training. His face which was broad and handsome, looked oddly troubled but so far he was the only Templar in sight.

“Good people of Val Royeaux,” The cleric was saying grandly. “Hear me! Together we mourn our Divine. Her naïve and beautiful heart silenced by treachery!”

Her eyes fell to our small group as we made our way forward positioning ourselves in the middle of the front row, awaiting our opportunity to speak.

“You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more. Behold the so call ‘Herald of Andraste’ claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say this is a false prophet! The Maker would send no selfish, power hungry child in our time of need!”

I stiffened at the accusation and fought back my embarrassment and frustration. I needed to stay level headed, prove all I wanted was to help.

“Please we came here to talk peacefully, there is no need for this.” I said softly pleading with my eyes for this whole thing to stop. “We need to be working together against the real threat, before it’s too late to fix it.”

The crowd rumbled around us, the words ‘lies’ and ‘murderer’ circling again and again. I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms. I hated all the eyes on me, the unrelenting animosity being sent my way. It wasn’t fair, I hadn’t done anything to deserve this.

“It’s true,” Cassandra added from my side, trying to be heard over the rabble. “The Inquisition only seeks to end this madness before it’s too late-“

“It is already too late!” The lead cleric declared interrupting the swordswomen and pointing to an oncoming troop of Templars that began to walked up to the platform, helmets shinning in the light and swords hanging from their hips. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry. They will face this Inquisition and the people will be safe once more.”

The Templars stalked forward and across the stage lead by a middled age man with steely grey receding hair pulled back tight across his head, his skin was pale and sallow looking, eyes a dull grey and were rimmed with red. His followers falling into step behind him as he crossed the stage, I watched on, ready to bring my staff to hand if this escalated. So focussed on the actions of their leader I almost missed the moment when one of his foot soldiers walked up behind the lead cleric.

And without warning he struck the preaching women, his closed fist connecting solidly with the back of her head with enough force to send her sprawling to the ground.

The startled gasps and a few sudden screams echoed around the stunned market place.

For a moment I was in shock…. Then I saw red.

I started forward only to be held back by Cassandras firm hand.

The young dark skinned Templar who had been on the platform from the start made move to give the fallen women some assistance only to be stopped when the Templars leader held him back with a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Still yourself, she is beneath us.” He declared his voice deep and oddly growly.

I shrugged myself out of Cassandra hand and glared up at the men on the platform, horrified and angered by their actions.

_Who did things like that!_

“What the hell is your problem?!!! What kind of coward are you that you’d punch a defenceless Chantry sister! She wasn't doing anything to harm _you_.”

“Evelyn…” Cassandra cautioned from behind me.

I ignored her my glower falling to the leader when he turned to answer me.

“Her claim to authority is an insult, much like your own,” The man then turned on his heels and began to leave the platform, leaving the Chantry clerics to swarm their fallen speaker or throw themselves to the ground in desperate prayer and grief.

“Lord Seeker Lucius?” Cassandra said hurrying after the man with long strides, “It’s imperative that we speak with yo-“

“You will not address me,” he said coldly not even looking at Cassandra.

Her stern face suddenly looked baffled and hurt.

“Lord Seeker?” she asked in confusion.

My mind was reeling.

_Lord Seeker?_

This asshole was a Seeker like Cassandra, and a high ranking one at that. It didn’t make any sense.

The man turned to my companion with an icy stare.

“Creating a heretical movement, raising a puppet as Andrastes prophet. You should be ashamed.” He turned his face to address the entire crowd of onlookers. “You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the Mages! You are the ones who have failed. You who leashed our swords with doubt and fear! If you came to appeal to the Chantry you are too late. The only destiny that demands respect is mine!”

This guy seemed mad! But he was the one leading the remaining Templars, the ones who could help us with the Breach. I needed to at least try to reason with him.

“We need help to close the Breach,” I said trying to remain calm and even when inside I wanted to slap this man for the way he spoke to Cassandra. “Surely you can see that?”

“Oh the Breach is indeed a threat,” He said smirking nastily as he did. “But you certainly have no power to do anything about it.”

I looked desperately past him to the Templars behind hoping some of them may see reason.

“Please, one of your Knight Commanders leads our forces, he is a Templar like you and a good man. You can join him … us, all we want is assistance to close the Breach-“

Lucius laughed a guttural bitter sound.

“You are nothing, you’re ties are worthless. They are made traitors just by being in your company. Their association with you will be their downfall.”

I stared at the man, wordless, feeling the blood draining from my face. He grinned evilly knowing he’d hit a sore point.

_What if I did destroy them_?

Then a voice spoke up deep and cautious.

“But Lord Seeker,” the young Templar from the stage said. “What if she is really was sent by the Maker? What if-“

“You are called to a higher purpose, do not question!” interrupted another Templar through his helmet.

The young Templar looked away sadly while the Lord Seeker spoke up again, staring defiantly at the gathered crowed.

“I will make the Templar order a power that stands alone against the void. We deserve recognition. Independence!”

“But the order doesn’t have to stand alone against all the world’s problems,” I implored. “You could have allies, help. You shouldn’t be concerned about fame and recognition, you should be doing what’s right?”

He scoffed, staring down at me with contempt.

“You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition less than nothing,” he sneered, his words hitting me like a physical blow as he turned his back to us and addressed his men. “Templars! Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection! We march!”

And with that he led the Templars out through the market, parting the crowds ahead of him causing people to rush out of his path. Watching him go I felt both confused and insignificant.

_We’d failed._

So much for gaining the Templars support, their leader just made us appear weak and trivial, they didn’t listen to me. Neither had the clerics. What use was parading me about to gain help if I couldn’t get anyone to listen?

“Charming fellow isn’t he?” Varrics sarcastic grumble drew my attention back out of my own head. He and Solas having joined Cassandra and I where we stood.

“Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?” Cassandra exclaimed in appal still staring after the man.

“How well do you know him?” I asked.

“He took over the Seekers of truth two years ago after Lord Seeker Lambert’s death,” she explained. “He was always a decent man. Never given to ambition and grandstanding. This is very bizarre.”

Anyone who ranted about their own destiny being the only one of importance was more than bizarre in my book. The man was deranged!

“So no Templars then, we can find another way right?” I probed hopefully.

“I wouldn’t write them off so quickly,” Cassandra contended. “There must be those in the order who see what he’s become. Either way we should first return to Haven and inform the others.”

I looked behind her to where the Clerics were still huddled on the stage. Despite everything that had been said I felt bad for them. Maybe they wouldn’t be swayed, but I refused to let that make me the monster they thought me to be.

Walking back to the stage I looked down to the fallen cleric where she still lay on the platform clutching the back of her head, her hat sitting askew and tinged with blood had seemed through the thick white material. Ignoring the fearful and angry stares of her peers I knelt down beside her and reached out a hand, offering the white handkerchief Josephine had insisted I take with me.

“Are you alright?” I offered softly.

The women glared up at me and slapped my hand away. Tears were breaming in the corners of her eyes. I sighed but held the hankie back out meaningfully.

“Take it, you’re bleeding and it’s not like you going to catch my evilness from a piece of cloth,” I insisted trying to smile reassuringly.

She eventually did, with more than a little reluctance snatching at the hankie from my hand and pressing it to the back of her head under her hat. As she struggled to sit herself up she couldn’t stop me from reaching out and giving her some support though she violently shrugged out of my touch when finally upright. When it was evident that her dirty looks weren’t deterring me she turned her harsh eyes to Cassandra.

“This victory must please you greatly Seeker Cassandra,” she hissed in the warriors direction.

“We came here only seeking to speak with the mothers,” Cassandra replied calmly. “This is not our doing but yours.”

“And you had no part in forcing our hand? Do not delude yourself,” the cleric scoffed.

“The way I see it you were the ones deluding yourselves,” I said, standing myself up and staring about the market. The crowed had thinned considerably but it was clear we still had an audience. I spoke a little louder so the ease droppers could hear every word. “We never threatened you Mother, we wanted to talk nothing more. Your own paranoia did this.”

“Now we have been shown up by our own Templars, in front of everyone. And my fellow clerics are scattered to the wind along with their convictions,” she whined miserably, turning her gaze back to me, her eyes almost desperate as she spoke. “Just tell me one thing, do you really think you are the Makers chosen?”

“I thought you’d already made up your mind what to believe about me?” I replied crossing my arms defiantly. “You probably should have asked before you tried to have me publicly lynched, it would have save us all a lot of trouble. Why bother to ask now?”

“Because, despite all my fears…. What if it’s true, what if I have erred? I suppose it is out of our hands now, we shall see what the Maker plans in the days to come.”

I felt bad for her, honestly I did. It would be hard for her to admit her religion was failing, their followers doubting. The Chantry was most of these people whole lives, it was all they knew and it was also pretty much the ruling system in Thedas. It had been a very long time since religion held so much power and influence back home, just another way in which this world was so different to my own. But my pity for the women and her organisation was over shadowed by overwhelming annoyance at these peoples blind faith that things would fix themselves without their even trying.

“Oh for havens sake….” I sighed in exasperation. “Stop leaving everything up to the Maker! You want something to change then change it yourself. Do something worthwhile in his influence to make people proud, don’t just sit there and wait for him to act for you because you’ll be waiting a long time. You don’t need some divine voice telling you to do the right thing, you can still help us. If you do something valuable then the Chantry can still rebuild, start afresh and become better in the eyes of the people.”

“If only that were true,” she responded despairingly.

“You don’t know if you don’t try,” I countered crouching down in front of her again.

“We are not looking for a winning horse,” she croaked. “We are simply trying to do the right thing.”

“The right thing is to try and help close the Breach, to try and restore peace.” I urged.

“Like you’re doing?” She scoffed. “You only serve your own selfish purposes.”

I rolled my eyes, _back to this crap again._

“You don’t even know me,” I snapped, anger giving my words more force and volume than normal. “You know only rumours and stories spun to make me look frightening and power hungry but you’ve never even met me before today. You have no right to claim my intentions. I don’t want power, I hate the attention and responsibility it brings. I never asked for any of this! But here I am, whether or not I was chosen by some higher power I don’t know. I may very well not be Andrastes chosen but I’ll be damned if I let that stop me from doings what’s right. We are going to try to fix this disaster and find out what really happened to the Divine. We have to try because the alternative is giving up and if we do that then we loose. Maybe if you weren’t so blinded by your own fear of losing your own power and control you could get back to focussing on your real purpose.”

She looked at me with wide startled eyes and I figured I’d probably said enough to appropriately embarrass myself for one day. Standing myself up and with one last nod to the remaining clerics I turned and hopped down from the platform towards were Solas and Varric stood waiting. Varric supporting a wide amused grin and Solas a small smirk. Cassandra followed close at my back.

“Well,” she murmured quietly. “That will certainly have the Chantry talking. You may have already won few over, if not the Chantry than maybe some in the crowd. Though who knows with Orlessians.”

“It wasn’t too much?” I asked hesitantly as we drew up to Solas and Varric.

“Sunshine that was impressive,” Varric chortled slapping me good naturedly on the shoulder. “I might have to start calling you Thunderstorm. You can be almost tough when you’re mad…. Almost.”

I snorted and shoved the dwarf playfully.

“You spoke well,” Solas agreed his eyes falling over my shoulder and his smile dropped. “It seems you’ve caught someone’s eye.”

The sounds of footsteps echoed from behind, turning I found myself facing an unmasked man in a set of short Mage robes. He bowed deeply before holding out a golden envelope.

“For you my lady, an invitation.” He said waiting till I took to offered item before inclining his head politely and turning on his heel and leaving us.

I gave the others a curious raised eyebrow and opened the invite, written in a neat ladylike scrawl the black ink standing out against the gold paper. It read simply:

 

**You are cordially invited to attend my salon tomorrow evening, held at the chateau of Duke Bastien De Ghislain.**

**Yours,**

**Vivienne de Fer.**

**First Enchanter of Montsimmard.**

**Enchanter to the Imperial Court.**

“Fancy,” Varric whistled looking over my shoulder as I read. “Those are some impressive tittles.”

“A salon…? Like a party right?” I questioned. “Do we go?”

“I hate to admit but it would be a good opportunity for the Inquisition to make some allies,” Cassandra said frowning at the paper. “Though I dislike the idea of Orlesian politics.”

“It appears we will be staying a few more days then,” Solas said looking oddly happy.

“We will need some accommodation,” agreed Cassandra.

We settled on trying to hunt for a decent tavern to discuss are options more in comfort after a warm meal, it seemed the best course of action. As we left the market we were called upon again this time a lilting female voice speaking to us from the shadows of one of the spiralling columns.

“If I might have a moment of your time.”

We turned to face the newcomer. She was slight and just an inch or two shorter than me, her dark hair was cropped short exposing pointed elf ears. Wearing a set of long blue mage robes she looked out at the world with sharp pale green eyes.

“Grand Enchanter Fiona,” Cassandra questioned in disbelief and recognition.

“Leader of the Mage rebellion,” Solas added quizzically. “Is it not dangerous for you to be here?”

“I heard of this gathering and I wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste with my own eyes,” she replied looking at me appraisingly. “If its help with the Breach you seek, perhaps my people are the wiser option.”

I frowned in confusion.

“If you’re the leader of the rebel Mages, why weren’t you at the conclave?”

“Yes,” Cassandra agreed suspiciously. “You were supposed to be and yet somehow avoided death.”

“As did the Lord Seeker, you’ll note.” Fiona didn’t seem at all flustered by the Seekers steely gaze. “Both of us sent negotiators in our stead, encase it was a trap. I won’t pretend I’m not glad to live. I lost many dear friends that day. It disgusts me to think the Templars might get away with it. I’m hoping you won’t let them.”

“You think the Templars did it?” I asked.

“Why wouldn’t she?” Cassandra retorted.

“Lucius hardly seems broken up over his loses, if he is concerned about them at all. You heard him. You think he wouldn’t happily kill the Divine to turn people against us? So yes, I think he did it. More than I think you did it, at any rate.” Fiona replied, expression hard.

“But you didn’t want to talk to us before,” I queried recalling all of Josephine’s many attempt to get the Mages to respond to her missives. “Why the change of heart?”

“Because now I’ve seen what you are. And I’ve seen the Chantry for what it is,” she said before smiling welcomely. “Consider this an invitation to Redcliffe. Come, meet with the Mages. An alliance could help us both after all.”

She turned and walked away giving as a strange cocky smile over her shoulder as she did.

“I hope to see you there,” she called back almost cheerily. “Au revoir my lady Herald.”

“That was unexpected,” Varric muttered watching the Grand Enchanter disappear around the corner.

“But it is what we required is it not; Contact with the Mages to barter aid?” Solas said reasonably.

“True,” I agreed. “Though it is all very sudden.”

“Another thing to discuss back in Haven I think,” Cassandra said firmly casting her darks eyes over to group of men standing a bit too close for her liking.

I nodded in agreement and we all fell into step behind the Seeker as she led us down a side street.

I stopped for a moment during our trek to briefly admire some jewellery on display at a stall. There were some extremely extravagant pieces on show of all different colours and sizes. I was just about to point out a ridiculously large broach shaped like a nug to Varric when something whistled past my ear and imbedded itself into the stall. The man selling his wares let out a rather high pitched shriek and ducked down under the table. I whirled around looking for the attacker, Solas positioning himself in front of me as I did, his arms out stretched and already summoning a barrier. Peeking out from under his arm I could see Cassandra positioned for fight.

Only the street was calm, no thugs barrelling in our direction or shadowy assassins leaping from the roof. Not one person even taking note of what occurring.

“What just happened?” I asked slowly as it became evident no one was actually attacking.

Solas dropped his spell and Cassandra reluctantly lowered her sword.

“Someone’s trying to get our attention,” Varric said jerking his head towards the projectile lodged in the stalls polished surface.

Cassandra went to investigate pulling the item from the wood, behind the stall the merchant let out a small sob running a shaky finger of the table surface. I gave him an apologetic smile.

“An arrow with a message,” she said scowling as she unfolded the note and read it. Her agitated expression slowly morphed into one of confusion and bafflement before handing it to me with a disgusted snort. “I believe it’s for you.”

“Someone’s certainly popular today,” Varric said cheerily coming to my side to read over my elbow.

 

**People say you’re special. I want to help, and I can bring everyone.**

**There’s a baddie in Val Royeaux, I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks and ‘round the café and maybe you’ll meet him first.**

**Bring swords.**

**Friends of Red Jenny**

 

It was a stern contrast to the golden invite I had tucked away in my pocket, written on a torn off scrap of parchment in large flowing but messy scrawl, the page was bordered with random drawings and doodles like a bored kids school book. The back held a sketch of what I assumed was supposed the Val Royeaux, include arrows that pointed to things like ‘ the real stinky fish barrel’ and ‘angry shop keeper with broom.’

“Red Jenny? What do you think?” I asked Varric while passing the note over for Solas to inspect.

“Looks interesting,” his eyes were alight with glee. Something like this was right up Varrics alley, it was excellent mystery writing material for the dwarf.

And we didn't have anything better planned for the rest of the day.

“Well then,” I said with an eager smile of my own. “Who’s up for a scavenger hunt?”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think.  
> they next few chapters have been written for a awhile so they should be up soon-ish.


	16. This Will Be Grand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not actually a Mage. I’m just better off fighting with a long stick than a sword. That way I don’t accidentally stab someone… like myself.”
> 
> The search for the 'red things' leads Evie to a potential ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally lets get some other companions on board!  
> As always I hope you enjoy.

## This Will be Grand! ##

 

After a brief scavenger hunt around Val Royeaux for ‘the red things’ (involving rummaging through a fishing net full of old trout, a hike up to the very top floor of a tower like building and a very awkward apology to some angry café dinners who thought Varric was trying to look up some ladies skirt under the table) we following the clues written on the scraps of red paper we’d uncovered and found ourselves standing outside a small estate on the edges of the beautiful city, looking through a set of ornate iron wrought gates into the courtyard. It was dark and the building looked deserted with piles of discarded paper and leaves clustered in the corners of the yard.

“Creepy and abandoned,” muttered Varric as he unslung Bianca in preparation. “Of course it is.”

“Such a pity,” I said quietly running my fingers across a delicate iron rose on the gate. “It looks like it would be a magneficent place if it had been looked after.”

Cassandra huffed and pushed the gate open, obviously not a fan of the fancy house. “Let’s just get this over with. Be on guard, it is likely a trap.”

She gave both Solas and Varric a stern look I’d learnt to read during our short time together. It was her ‘don’t you dare let anyone kill the Herald look’ and promised infinite pain for anyone who disobeyed her. Not for the first time I was glad she was on my side and not an enemy.

We trouped in weapons ready, as we turned a corner and into the open we walked right into view of the sentinels patrolling the small yard between stacked crates and barrels. With a surprised shout from them we were set upon by the pair of sword wielding men wearing plain unmarked armour. Cassandra quickly cut down one, while Varric disposed of the other.

“They didn’t seem to be expecting us tonight.” I commented as Varric quickly searched the bodies, pocketing their coin purses in the process. “We caught them by surprise.”

“Hired men, though not very good ones.” Cassandra scoffed.

“Why attack us without knowing what we wanted?” I asked angry for the unnecessary loss of life. “If they had let us talk we could have come to an agreement or something.”

“Don’t dwell on it Sunshine,” Varric said sadly. “These kind of men don’t deserve your sympathy.”

“But we don’t even know what it is we are looking for here,” I said frustrated. “These men could have died for nothing.”

“They attacked us first,” Cassandra said firmly. “Would you rather we let them kill us?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.” I defended. I'd come to terms with that aspect of  my new life, at least partially. “I’m just saying it’s a stupid waste for them to have died because of this.”

“There sure are more interesting ways for people to die,” muttered Varric toeing a fallen man with his boot. “Did I tell you about the time Hawke and I-“

“Now is probably not the best time for one of your stories master Tethras,” Solas interjected smoothly. “The person who hired these men may be close by.”

I walked up besides the dejected looking dwarf and nudged him playfully, “Later Varric, over drinks preferably.”

He brightened immediately.

Cassandra led our group up a set of stairs to a heavy double doors on the other side of the small yard. She stopped and listened for a moment then shook her head, and gestured for me to open them. When I did I was greeted by a large ball of orange flame coming straight at my face. I squeaked as Cassandra pulled me out of harms way by my collar and Solas threw up a barrier spell.

“Mage,” Cassandra hissed kicking the remaining side of the door open, revealing a skinny man standing alone in a second adjoining courtyard that lead to the front of an empty manor and surrounded on all sides by balconies coming off the adjoining buildings. He was wearing the same fancy clothes I’d seen many of the men wearing about the streets of Val Royeaux, tight high sitting navy pants, billowing top with puffy sleeves, vest and sashes of deep purple. He even wore one of those ridiculous golden masks with the attached head piece that made the back of his head look huge and u shaped. He sent second fireball my way which I was able to duck as my comrades all raised their weapons in warning and slowly advanced into the enclosed area.

“Herald of Andraste,” the man purred sounding like a clichéd evil villain, his attention focused on me. “It seems you have found me.”

“Aaand you are?” I asked slowly.

_Was I supposed to be looking for this man?_ I supposed he could be the one the Friends of Red Jenny warned of but the way he was presenting himself gave me the impression he thought he was my long time arch nemesis.

He scoffed. “How much did you expend to discover me I wonder? It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably.”

I shared blank and confused looks with my companions who shrugged back at me.

“Not really,” I answered honestly. “I really have no idea who you are.”

I couldn’t see his face from behind his ridiculous mask but his answering tone told me I’d pissed him off.

“You don’t fool me,” he seethed his curled fists becoming bathed in fire, the flames licking at his gloves. “I am too important for this to be an accident! My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere -“

He was rudely interrupted when a strange gurgling noise caught all of our attention. We all turned to watch as the body of another mercenary fell off the balcony to our left to land on the stone with a meaty whump, an arrow shaft sticking out of his back like a tiny flag pole. Cassandra quickly made a move the stand between me and the slender figure now taking the mercenaries old place on the shadowy balcony. My eyes went to the stranger’s hands where she held a bow drawn back and aimed at the masked man.

“Just say ‘What’” she called down, her voice carrying an almost cockney accent and echoing about the courtyard threateningly.

“What is the meaning of –urgh!” The outraged speech from our masked assailant was cut short again, this time by the dainty arrow now protruding from his throat. I winced and looked away as the man sunk to the floor clutching his neck as he made a few last bubbling breaths before he went still.

I turned back to the intruder in time to see her gracefully drop from the balcony and walk towards the fallen man, she almost seemed to be skipping.

“Euw, squishy one.” She complained as she pulled her arrow from the dead man with a 'squelch' before standing up to face us looking expectant. “But you heard me right? ‘Just say what.’ Rich tits always ask for more than they deserve.”

I stared dumbfounded. The intruder was an elf, slight and skinny in build standing half a head shorter than me but bursting with so much pent up energy she seemed to be bigger. Her small round face was oddly pretty with large grey blue eyes, a smattering of freckles over her small flattish nose and a full pouty mouth. Her corn silk blond hair was cut in a strange choppy and uneven bob that looked like she may have done it herself…. While drunk and using a rusty butter knife. She was wearing a simple leather chest piece and grieves over an old faded and torn off the shoulder red dress which may have once been long but now barely came up to her mid-thigh in jagged tatters, underneath she wore a pair of yellow and black checked leggings.

_Stylish._

“Blah, blah, blah,” she continued dramatically, waving about the retrieved arrow. “Obey me, arrow to my face. So I see you followed the notes well enough. Glad to see you’re…..”

She had turned to me and trailed off looking me over from head to toe, an expression of disappointment crossing her features “You’re…. You’re kinda plain really. All that talk and your just a person. I mean it’s all good right? The important thing is you glow. You’re the Herald thingy.”

“Uh… I suppose, people have been calling me that,” I shrugged it off, still not happy with the tittle I’d been given, and more than a little concerned about the ‘glowing’ comment. “Who are you and what’s going on here?”

“No idea,” the elf replied smiling brightly. “I don’t know this idiot from manors. My people just said the Inquisition should look at him.”

“Your people?” I asked, “You mean elves?”

She scoffed, “No, _people_ people.”

Trying to get a straight answer from this girl was proving to be difficult and it didn’t look like I’d would have enough time to get the answers I wanted. I could hear muffled shouts and footsteps in the distance, seems our mysterious friend heard them too her head tilting to the side as she listened before a wide grin stretched across her face.

“Names Sera. This is cover get round it.” She rushed, gesturing to a stack of nearby crates in an offhand manor. “For the reinforcements. Don’t worry, someone tipped me their equipment shed.”

She leant in conspiringly and whispered with glee, “They’ve got no breaches.”

I looked at her in confusion until a door across the way slammed open and a handful of mercenaries ran out….. pants-less. Cassandra and Solas reacted quickly rushing to meet the approaching men, Varric ducking behind a nearby barrel to load Bianca. I was staring mouth open watching the pale hairy legs of the hired thugs rushing our way with battle yells falling from the lips.

_That was a whole lot of pale hairyness…_

“How?....” I was roughly pulled behind the stack of crates by the happy elf as an arrow whizzed past my ear, she notched a projectile of her own. When a second arrow embedded itself an inch from Varrics right ear through his barrel I snapped out of my stupor.

I turned to the strange elf scowling darkly at her. “Why didn’t you take their weapons?!”

“Because; No breaches,” She cackled happily firing a fatal shot into another thug who’d appeared from the balcony, his underclothes surprisingly pink. “Bunch of nutters!”

_She was insane. I was sure of it._

When a man wielding a large two handed axe came around our stack of crates I jumped forward with my staff to block his heavy overhead swing that meant to split Sera in two. Catching him off guard and taking advantage of his state of partial undress I pushed my arms up keeping his arms and weapon above us both and sent a strong knee into his unmentionables. He fell to his knees dropping his axe to clasp at his family business, his face an interesting shade of purple. I swung my staff into the side on his head hard enough to concuss but not enough to kill or permanently damage. Just as Cullen had been teaching me.

“Haha, nice one!” Sera cheered behind me. “Right in the plums!”

The others had taken care of the rest of the men and were checking them for information. Varric came up behind me wincing sympathetically at the fallen man at my feet. “Really Sunshine, that’s just cold.”

“He’ll survive, at least.” I defended. “He should be thankful for that when he wakes up.”

Sera was eyeing my staff suspiciously. “Not that I’m complaining or nothin’, but why didn’t you just magic him or something.”

“I’m not actually a Mage.” I explained ruefully. “I’m just better off fighting with a long stick than a sword. That way I don’t accidentally stab someone… like myself.”

She stared at me a moment before bursting out in a manic laugh. I gave her a moment to get herself under control. It took her awhile, I still couldn’t see why that was so funny to these people.

“So…Friends really came through with that tip,” she laughed again, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye. “No breaches.”

I sighed, and crossed my arms giving her another moment to get it out of her system. I had questions that she needed to answer, I wouldn’t get them if she was cackling like a hyena.

“Herald of Andrase eh? You’re a strange one.” She said finally pulling herself together. “I want to join.”

I hadn’t been expecting that.

“Whoa, wait a moment,” I replied trying to be reasonable. “I still don’t know what just happened here. Who exactly are you?”

“One name, no wait two.” She rambled, “It’s… well It’s like this; I sent you a note to look for hidden stuff by my friends, the Friends of Red Jenny. That’s me. Well I’m one, so’s a fence in Montfort, some women in Kirkwall, there were three in Starkhaven. Brothers or something. It’s just a name yeah? It lets little people ‘friends’ be a part of something while they stick it to nobles they hate. So here, in your face I’m Sera. The Friends of Red Jenny are out there sorta. I used them to help you…. Plus arrows.” She added as an after-thought.

I looked over at Cassandra and the others where they stood a short distance away. She just shrugged and looked to say ‘This is your problem now, do what you like with her.’

“So you’re offering…. Spies?” I queried uncertain what she was getting at.

Sera sighed looking exasperated and began to explain holding her arms up making extravagant gesture to get her point across.

“Here’s how it is: You important people are up here, shoving your cods around ‘Blah blah, I’ll crush you! I’ll crush you,” she was making puppets with her hands to display her point and began making whiny kissy noises. The lewd gestures she made with her hands were making my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “Oooh…..crush you.’ Then you have cloaks and spy kings like this tit. But was he one of the little knives all serious with his little knife, all those secrets and what gave him up? Some house boy how doesn’t know shite, but knows a bad person when he sees one. So no. I’m not knifie shite, dark all hidden. But if you don’t listen down here too you risk your breaches. Like those guards, I stole their ….”

I interrupted her with a question, not wanting to spend another ten minutes waiting for her to get over the giggles again. “I think I get it. Though I don’t understand why you asked if I glow?”

“That’s what you do innit?” she said slowly like it was the simplest answer in the world. “You walked out of somewhere and now you glow. Andrastes Herald. True or not seemed like the easiest way to know it was you?”

“True or not? That doesn’t make sense,” Solas interjected behind me, scowl firmly in place at her lack of logic.

“Well that’s what they say an all.” She defended glaring defiantly at the Mage.

“Aaand people think I glow…. Fantastic. I’m a mutant,” I mumbled rubbing my temple. I was getting a headache.

Sera addressed me again looking determined. “Look I want to help this… whatever it is… Inquisition.”

I was all for increasing our numbers but I was still baffled as to who and what this elf was. We needed some proper background information before a decision could be made.

“Do you know all these Red Jennys?” I asked curious about her organisation.

Sera seemed to growl in frustration glaring up at me like I was a dog who just couldn’t figure out how to play dead.

“It’s not hard to understand if you’re not trying to waste your day on it. Someone little always hates someone big. And unless you don’t eat, sleep or piss you’re never far from someone little. Doesn’t always work out but turns out a lot of people hated this guy. Someone got a laugh, someone got even and someone got paid. And someone has to have it explained to them that free help is good.”

“So you’re like a thief, and you act out petty revenge fantasies on nobles and rich people with your secret league of ‘little people’ contacts all of whom are Red Jenny.” I summed up.

The elf seemed to think about it for a moment before looking up at me with a bright endearing smile.

“You do realise that could be seen as a bad thing?” I asked cautiously.

“Oh right, you want to prop that guy up so I can say my sorries.” She quipped face full contempt. “Bad things should happen to bad people. We find someone not so bad, maybe he’ll end up not so dead. Good enough?”

“But you didn’t know him.” I spluttered in disbelief.

“I knew about him,” she countered like a petulant teenager.

“Only rumour.” I replied, trying to understand how she could casual end someone’s life without any real incentive or any remorse. “You had no real evidence this guy was up to something. Did he really have to die like that?”

“Look I’d have been fine stripping his guards and nicking his stuff. Turns out he deserved worse, or is him trying to kill you a good thing. Are you the baddie?” Seras indignant response and reasoning left me speechless, when I couldn’t argue with her logic and ended up scowling down at my boots in frustration she continued with a haughty “Didn’t think so.”

I sighed running my hands through my hair. I couldn’t blame her for her cold attitude towards killing people, after all everyone I’d come across in this world seemed to have the same reasoning of ‘it’s them or me’. It still seemed so callous and cruel to me. Not everything is black and white, good and bad. This man may have had very good reasons for wanting me dead, he probably thought he was doing the right thing. And none of that changed the fact that in order for me to live this man had to be cut down. I didn’t want to kill, but God knows I didn’t want to die either. Shaking my head I forced myself to focus. Now was not the time to dwell on my own guilt and thoughts on killing, nor should I be projecting them on other people who were supposedly only trying to help.

Sera was looking at me expectantly big eyes wide and hopeful. She had assisted us, even if we didn’t have the whole story behind our assailants cause. I believed the elf really wanted to help us and we could use all the aid the Inquisition could get in whatever form in came in. Even with her eagerness to kill I realised I liked Sera. She was mad, completely unrestrained but she was looking out for and empowering people often forgotten or abused by those with power. Like an elven Robin Hood in red, yellow and black.

“Alright Sera,” I said smiling at the other girl, feeling I’d made the right choice. “The Inquisition would be happy to have your help.”

“Yes!” she crowed triumphantly seemingly genuinely happy at my decision. “Get in good before you’re too big to like. That’ll keep you in your breaches, plus extra coz you know…. You have people who buy this pish right? Got to be worth something.”

Cassandra groaned, Solas sighed and Varric tried very hard to stifle a laugh.

I started to second guess my decision as I watched the elf hunt happily about the courtyard, retrieving a small rugged pack and large sack from inside a crate, swinging them both over her narrow shoulders and deliberately kicking the fallen noble man between his legs a few times for good measure before sticking the man’s index finger up his left nostril and pulling down the dead mans pants and under clothes.

_Good God what had I just unleashed upon the Inquisition_.

The elf led the way out of the courtyard, packs swing merrily on her back, a joyous skip to her step. She turned back to look at the rest of us giving a bright toothy grin.

“Come on then! You’re taking me to a tavern to celebrate. I just joined the friggin’ Inquisition, we got a world to save yeah? This will be grand!” Sera declared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Sera often rubs people the wrong way and she often has as many haters as fans in the Dragon Age fan base but I like her, she's.... kookie. Though I admit I can understand why people find her annoying.  
> Lets see if I can get to 100 Kudos before the next update!


	17. Maleficent Mage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Be careful what you say about my friends’ sir, they are braver and far scarier women than you want to mess with.”
> 
> Evie heads out to her first Olessian party to meet with the mysterious Madame de Fer and generally starts out on the wrong foot with the nobility of Val Royeaux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow over 100 kudos! Thank you that's almost one kudos per every 10 reads.  
> I'm so glad so many are enjoying the story, I hope you all continue to stick with it. 
> 
> Anyway as always I hope you enjoy.

## Maleficent Mage ##

 

I slept in the next morning, much to Cassandras disgust. The old lumpy bed in the modest tavern we’d found yesterday in the Val Royeaux outer districts wasn’t exactly comfortable but it felt perfectly cosy as I cuddled back under the blankets ignoring the Seeker as she stomped out of the shared room at the crack of dawn. I was tired, physically and emotionally drained after the events of yesterday.

....plus the alcohol.

Varric and I had been up late drinking and getting to know the newest member of our party. Sera I’d found was an absolute riot. She was crass, vulgar, kooky and childish. The elf had me choking on my cider within moments of my first sip. While she didn’t tell us much about her past she regaled us with tales of her more extreme Red Jenny operations. Even if her stories weren’t as flowing and coherent as Varrics they were certainly entertaining in their own right, often due to Sera trying to over act or demonstrate the more exciting moments. Varric was certainly getting some good material from the rambunctious sprite, I could see the writing cogs already ticking away in his mind as he’d watched her try and swing from the small and rusty overhead chandelier. As fun as she was Sera was also a handful, we’d had to drag her upstairs and pay the tavern owner an extra few silvers after Sera had tried to motorboat his daughters chest.

All in all, an entertaining evening all round. While I hadn't drunk enough to warrant a hangover myself I was definitely tired. I figure after the late night and fighting before that I was due a small amount of comfort.

By the time I pulled myself out of bed and made my way down stairs to the bar and dining room to join the others it was almost midday. Cassandra was nowhere to be seen but the others were quietly talking at a table in the corner sharing a plate of cheeses, fruits, a small roast chicken and a large loaf of bread.  I sat down in an available chair next to Varric and across from Solas who had his nose stuck in a book. Sera had her head cradled in her arms, looking a disheveled mess.

“Morning,” I yawned reaching for the pitcher of what smelled like orange juice.

“Only just,” Solas said coolly from behind his book. “Any later and it would be afternoon. You’ve almost slept the day away.”

“You’re one to talk, Mr Fade walker,” I pointed out cheerfully. “Half the time I find you dozing in odd spots all around Haven.”

“True enough.” He replied, I swear I saw the corner of his mouth twitch with amusement.

“You’re in a good mood Sunshine,” Varric chuckled pushing the plates of food towards me. “We should let you sleep in more often.”

I nodded my thanks and started placing food on my own plate. “You really should, I miss sleeping in.”

Sera groaned from the end of the table. “Friggin’ too chirpy.”

I looked at her with pity, she’d slept on the floor in the room last night. I’d offered her the bed but the drunk elf kept putting herself on the hard wooden floor explaining that ‘It didn’t wobble as much.’ For such a small thing she’d put away an awful lot of alcohol. I guess it was coming back to bite her on the ass now.

“Sorry Sera. If you want you can rest on the bed for a while, try and sleep it off.” I offered softly.

Sera just groaned and stayed where she was.

“Where’s Cassandra?” I asked after taking a few bites of cheese and bread.

“Running errands,” Varric replied waving a hand vaguely. “Doing secret Seeker stuff. I think the Templars response yesterday rattled her.”

“I can only imagine, Lord Seeker Lucius said some pretty cruel things to her.” I glared into my drink. Cassandra may have left the Seekers to be the right hand of the Divine but through past conversations I knew she cared deeply for her old order. Seeing them act this way and hearing her old superior speak to her in such a manor was bound to raise old doubts and concerns about her actions, doubts she had already voiced to me during one of our training sessions.

“Guys a total Dick.” I growled scowling darkly and promising myself that if I ever saw him again I’d punch the Lord Seeker in his stupid nose.  

Varric chuckled, Sera let out a short laugh then groaned in pain. I looked over to Solas.

“You couldn’t help her out could you?” I asked hopefully, nodding towards Sera. She was suffering.

“You want me to use magic to cure her self-inflicted headache and dehydration caused by over consumption?” The Mage sent me an icy look over the top of his book.

“…. Maybe?” I said cautiously.

“Don’t you dare use any of that freaky magic stuff on me,” Sera mumbled edging away from the other elf.

 I frowned perplexed down at Sera, this was the second time she shown some kind of distrust of magic. I wondered what her problem was, but figured it best not to press the issue in her current state.

“Ok, no magic.” I placated. “What about a potion, is there a hang-over potion available or something?”

Solas sighed heavily but reached into one of his pouches and bought out a small vial filled with clear liquid. He placed it beside Seras head and turned back to his book. “It will take the edge off but you still need to drink plenty of water and sleep off the rest. Maybe next time you should consider drinking in moderation.” He chided.

The blonde elf glared at the vial but after a moment downed it quickly.

I smiled at Solas. “Thank you.”

He lowered his book long enough to smile back at me and I fought down a flood of sudden stomach butterflies.

 _Stop it Evie, he doesn't like you that way_.

“So,” Sera croaked finally looking up, her eyes looking blood shot and weary. “Haven right? We leavin’ today or what?”

I shook my head negative, “I’ve been invited to a party this evening by a Madame Vivienne, Enchantress to the Imperial court. I need to go and find out why she wants to talk with me. Depending on what she wants we might leave tomorrow or the day after.”

Sera wrinkled her nose in obvious disgust. “Bunch of snooty ass headed nobs. Why’d you want to talk with any of them?”

“I’m not a huge fan of the nobility here either,” I replied recalling Josephine and Lelianas lectures and the stories I’d over heard in Haven. “But it’s for the Inquisition, we could use the political support. Besides, she took the time to invite me I should at least talk to her.”

“Whatever,” The elf mumbled and pushed herself up to stand on wobbly legs. “Just watch your back Herald. Can’t trust none of them. I’m going back to bed.”

I watched her stagger up the stairs to the room, feeling a little less happy about the day.

 _Had I already ticked off our new ally_? I really had no idea what I was doing here.

Varric nudged me with his elbow, “Feel like exploring the city while we wait for your party?”

“Sure, why not?” I forced a smile. “I could use the distraction.”

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

It was decided that Cassandra would accompany me to the ‘salon’. Despite her severe distaste for such events that almost rivaled Sera's, she had some experience given her family background and was best suited to keeping me safe or stopping me from accidentally insulting an entire country through a simple social faux pass. According to Leliana and Josephine the Orlesian Court was just as deadly as an open Rift only prettier and more and cruel. Personally I found that hard to believe, it was just a fancy party after all. Surely the worst I could do was embarrass myself and possibly the Inquisition by association, though public humiliation and shame did seem like something to avoid. The others in our group were more likely to cause unnecessary attention and were more than happy to sit this one out. I was kind of wishing I could swap places with one of them. Parties had never been my strong suit.

It had taken us a good half hour to walk through the upper class streets of Val-Royeuox until we found our destination. The shining white mansion was as beautiful and extravagant as the rest of the city. The way it was lit up with pretty glistering lanterns as guests dressed in ball gowns, silk suits and ornate masks glided up the steps to the entrance reminded me of all those Disney ballroom scenes I’d watched growing up. I felt my stomach flutter a little in a sudden rush of girlish excitement.

_This world really was magnificent at times._

As we climbed the steps to the door Cassandra continued to give me brief and harsh tips, her jaw tight and eyes hard.

“Do not trust any of them or take any bait they may offer you. Any promises or deals made, even if unintended, will be held against you. The nobles of Orlais are like flies and will swarmed upon you the moment you enter. They will want to test you. Some may be genuine but most of these families have close ties to the Chantry and will be looking for any kind of weakness to exploit and spread. Everything you say and do will be judged so for Maker sake at least pretend to know what they are talking about. These people can either be valuable allies or dangerous enemies.”

“R-right.” I smoothed down the front of my leather coat again nervously. Seeing as we were attending on behalf of the Inquisition and didn’t really have the coin to waste on frivolous expenses like ball gowns, we were going dressed in our regular armor and gear. I felt very out of place among the swirling dresses and elegant silks. We were already attracting the odd glance and whisper behind gloved hands and fluttering lace fans. Josephine would be mortified on our behalves if she could see us.

Finally inside the mansion we gave our names to a stuffy looking attendant and were ushered into a crowded parlor room by servers dressed in vibrant red uniforms. Inside the room guests loitered with glasses of sparkling drink awaiting their announcement into the ballroom.

“What now?” I asked Cassandra looking about the crowded room, now that I was in a closed space surrounded by the glittering ornate masks I was thinking the Orlessian court to be less Disney Princess and more Nightmare before Christmas. There was something incredibly unnerving about so many people feeling the need to hide their faces and emotions.

“They know we are here, we will wait until someone asks us to come forward to be announced.  Then we find the First Enchanter and find out what she wants. Then we get out of here.”

I looked over at the Seeker to find her looking stiff and more stony than usual. She was extremely uncomfortable, her hand kept going unconsciously to the hilt of her sword only to turn into a frustrated fist and pull away when she realised it wasn’t an appropriate place to rest in present company.

“As quick as we can then, in and out.” I said, trying to reassure her. “I’ll pocket some Au’derves for Varric and Sera. You pinch some fancy booze for us to celebrate with after.”

I was rewarded with a small cracked smile, “I prefer the little cakes.”

Then a gloved hand came down on Cassandras shoulder, I watched her stiffen and turn to face an older gentlemen wearing an emerald green coat and black cravat. Unlike most here he wasn’t wearing a mask, showing off a round moon shaped face marred with age. When he spoke it was with a familiar thick accent.

“Lady Pentaghast, what an unexpected surprise,” he said. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you since you were a little girl.”

“Lord Deventhope,” Cassandra answered in shock though her face seemed pleased to see a fellow Nevaran this far from home. “I must say it is a surprise to see you in Orlais. It has been a very long time.”

“I’m here on business actually,” the lord replied rather proudly. “My granddaughters recently married into the Tu’esits and it has opened up negotiations for a new plantation here in Orlais. I’m here as a guest but I’ve been told there are several possible investors here wanting to meet.”

Cassandras pleased smile turned forced in an instant. “How very nice for you. I hadn’t heard Bridgeet had been wed, you must pass on my congratulations.”

“She will be pleased to have them.” He replied cordially, completely oblivious to Cassandras change. “I must say, I didn’t ever think I’d run into you here my dear. I was under the impression you had become a Seeker. I hope you’re not here looking for dangerous Apostates.” He laughed merrily at his own joke.

“I was a Seeker,” Cassandra replied evenly, managing to hide her anger well. “I am however now working with the Inquisition to seal the Breach. I’m here as an escort for the Herald of Andraste. May I introduce Lady Evelyn Treval, Lady Herald this is Lord Brein Deventhope.”

“Oh?” the Lord finally seemed to notice me as I stepped out to stand besides Cassandra. He didn’t look impressed. “I see…”

I held out my hand to shake, he reluctantly took it. His hand was clammy and weak.

“It’s nice to meet you my Lord.” I said politely, trying to be warm and charming and resisting the urge to wipe my palm on shirt.

“Lord Deventhrope is an old family acquaintance,” Cassandra explained. “He owns several large trading companies and is well known in Nevarra for his famous wines.”

“Deventhrope wines? I believe I’ve seen a few bottles around Haven,” I said recognising the name from a few bottles I’d seen in Josephine's office, happy that I could remember such I thing. “I’ll have to make a note to try it some time.”

“Quite,” Lord Deventhrope sniffed indifferently before turning back to Cassandra. “I was actually at dinner with you Uncle a few weeks ago…..”

 _Well that was an impressive cold shoulder_ , I thought bitterly. I wondered how many other people would treat me like I was something unpleasant someone tracked in on their shoe. I didn’t bother to pay attention to the conversation after that, I clearly wasn’t needed. Instead a server with a tray of drinks caught my attention. I gave Cassandra a small nudge to indicate where I was heading, she gave me a short curt nod before turning back to Lord Moonface and his conversation about bargaining for a specific type of soil for his vineyard.

I edged my way through the crowd hoping to catch the serving man when he moved further across the room, sliding between large skirts and long coat tails making sure not to bump anyone or step on any expensive material. I was just reaching to snatch a glass from the tray when a different server intercepted me, stepping forward with a bow.

“Lady Treval?” he inquired politely.

“Uh… yes, that’s me.” I sighed watching my drink escaping, _so close_.

“If you would follow me my lady,” he promptly turned cutting a swift path across the room.

I followed quickly at his heels trying to keep up but not look flustered.

“May I ask what’s happening?” I asked.

“We are ready to announce your arrival my Lady,” he replied simply.

“Oh… I should go and get Cas- I mean Seeker Pentaghast.” I said stupidly craning my neck to find where the tall warrior was in the crowd.

“They are ready for you now my Lady,” the server said with firm implication that I shouldn’t keep them waiting.

“Ah, but we’re here together and I’m not supposed….” The servants raised brow and suspicious look had me stop my ramblings mid-sentence. I was supposed to be the Herald of Andraste, I couldn’t present myself as being dependent on my escort even if that was what I was. _Damn it_ , it didn’t look like I had much choice if I wanted to appear competent to the people here.

“Alright,” I sighed. “Please make sure Lady Pentaghast is announced as soon as possible, we are here on the same invite, it would be the greatest insult should she not join me as soon as possible.”

I didn’t know if that was true or not, it felt like something a noble would say.

“Of course my Lady.” He had led me to a large set of double doors, two attendants stood at either door ready to open them for the nobility. Because heaven forbid they actually do that themselves. “Just though there my Lady. I shall go and fetch Lady Pentaghast as soon as possible.”

I straightened my back and walked forwards.

“Lady Evelyn Treval, the Herald of Andraste representing the Inquisition,” a loud clear voice called out as the doors were swung open.

Blinking into the glittering lights I walked into the ballroom feeling many different sets of eyes on me, already judging every move I made. I felt my face heat up with the attention but kept my head high while I walked into the middle of the room on trembling legs. The ballroom was moderately sized, surrounded on all sides by a second story overlooking the main dance area and easily accessed by two sets of sweeping stairs on either side of the room. The marble floors were dark in colour and reflected the flickering light from the tasteful lanterns and elegant ceiling chandeliers, making it seem darker than the warm parlor room I’d just come from. Guests milled casually about the area sipping from goblets or glasses and despite the soft swell of music from an unseen band no one was currently dancing, just mingling and watching.

 I swallowed nervously and began to just stroll around the room, trying and most likely failing to look casual and confident.

 _Now what_?

I felt like a complete outsider standing here waiting for Cassandra, like that girl at the party who knows no one except the birthday girl. I suppose I should be looking for this Madame Vivienne only I had no idea what she looked like or anything else about her really. Maybe I’d start by finding the alcohol again… when at a party alone alcohol was the best disguise.

Half way around the room I was again making my way towards a server with a tray of drinks when a masked couple glided bravely forward and bowed slightly, I returned the gesture as taught. They wore matching gold masks engraved with elegant swirls down one side and decorated with vibrant green feathers.

“A pleasure my lady,” the man said, sounding mostly genuine. “We so rarely get the chance to meet anybody new. It is always the same crowd at these parties. So you must be a guest of Madame de Fer. Or are you here for Duke Bastien?”

“Madame de’Fer?” I queried feeling lost. “I’m sorry I don’t know the name. I received an invite from First Enchanter Vivienne. Is that ok?”

The women giggled, but it was the masked man who answered.

“Madame de’Fer is a fond nickname the court has given Lady Vivienne,” he offered kindly.

“I’ve heard she finds it amusing,” added his partner, her voice trilling and haughty.

“Oh, and Duke Bastien this is his manor right?” I guessed, attempting to fish for information. “I’m afraid I haven’t heard much about him.”

“He hasn’t been seen much at court lately.” Said the women.

“His business with the Council of Heralds often takes him away from home for long periods,” added the man swirling his wine about in the glass goblet. “It can’t be good for a man of his years.”

“And of course there’s the civil war,” The women contributed eagerly, seeming more than happy to gossip about our host. “Bastien probably wants to distance himself from the actions of his onetime son in law.”

“Tearing up the Dales in a foolish bid for power! It will end in disgrace for Gaspard. Everyone knows it!” The man said scowling darkly.

I could feel my eyebrows disappearing beneath my fringe. Not even two minutes into the party and there was already so much drama to take in, I felt like I needed a bowl of popcorn and a voice over.... _‘Next time on the Orlessians….’_

“Are you here on business?” the women simpered changing the subject suddenly. “I have heard the most curious tails of you. I cannot imagine half of them are true.”

 _Neither can I_ , I thought bitterly.

“What have you heard about me?” I asked cautiously

“Some say when the veil opened Andraste herself delivered you from the Fade!” She gushed in excitement.

I laughed awkwardly, “An impressive tale but unfortunately it has been slightly exaggerated.”

“But only for the best effect,” the lady twittered happily. “The Inquisition is a ripe subject for wild tales.”

“The Inquisition?” A new voice came from above and we turned to watch a man dressed in gold lined tan and creams descending the stairs, a large broad sword strapped to his back and a glass goblet cradled in one hand. Even with the silver mask covering most his face I could see the contempt and disgust in the twist of his mouth as he spoke. “What a load of pig shit!”

“E-Excuse me?!” I stammered, shocked by the blatant show of disrespect. I was horrified to find that the strangers’ loud voice and words had drawn quite the crowd of on lookers watching the display like vultures ready to pick over the losers social carcass.

“Washed up sisters and crazed Seekers.” He continued, ignoring me completely with a nasty sneer on his thin lips. “No one can take them seriously.”

I bristled, narrowing my eyes at the man.

_How dare he talk about Cassandra and Leliana that way?!_

I found myself speaking in a much calmer and colder voice I’d ever used before. “Be careful what you say about my friends’ sir, they are braver and far scarier women than you want to mess with.”

He scoffed crossing the floor making sure every eye in the room was on us. My sudden surge of protective anger temporarily over riding my embarrassment at being the center of attention.

“Everyone knows it’s just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power,” The man scorned drowning the rest of his drink before tossing the goblet carelessly to the side.

“The Inquisition is trying to help. We don’t want any political power of our own, just aid for closing the big hole in the sky that threatens us all. At least we are taking action.” I defended adamantly all the while glaring daggers at the pompous dick in front of me. He was clearly grand standing for a reason, he had no facts but was trying to cause a scene anyway. But to what purpose?

_What was he up to?_

“We know what your Inquisition truly is,” he sneered coming in very close, his nose almost brushing mine as he tried to intimidate me. “If you were a women of honor you would step outside and answer the charges.”

I didn’t back down but I could feel the heat rising in my checks at his close proximity and my obvious fluster at what he was implying. Was this was the rich Orlessians elites way of saying ‘let’s take it outside, or are you chicken shit?’

I glared obstinately at the man, unable to think of the right response to such a situation. No doubt I would lose in such a duel if I accepted, I hadn’t even bought my staff with me this evening. But would I be showing weakness if I didn’t accept? Or would it be socially appropriate to rise above the whole thing?

Josephine’s lectures hadn’t accounted for this!

I watched as the strangers mouth twisted into a cocky smirk and his eyes glitter through the slits in his mask. He had me, and the bastard knew it. I watched as he seemed to reach for the long sword strapped to his back over his shoulder, taking a cautious step back in preparation when….

His eyes widened and a cold gust of air seemed to encircle him as the stranger literally froze in place. A thin veil of icy fog twisting around his body.

“My dear Marquis,” a clear, rich women’s voice carried down from the stairs across the room, she didn’t shout but her confident voice seemed to grab all attention in the room. “How unkind of you to use such language in my house… to my quest.”

I backed away and looked beyond the frozen man to find the source of the voice.

She floated down the stairs the picture of sophisticated power and grace, her clothes elaborate and eye catching even in calm shades of white and dusky blue/grey trimmed with shining gold, contrasting perfectly against her smooth dark skin. The expensive materials clinging skin tight to her well toned but perfectly feminine hour glass figure. Her coat consisted of some very puffed up shoulders and had a high extravagant collar that flared out almost like that of a frill necked lizards, it was strategically missing enough material in the center to show off a lot of cleavage while still making the women look relatively conservative. A pair of extremely high healed thigh high boot added to her already impressive height, as did the intimidating headdress she wore, shaped to imitate a pair of elegant designer horns crafted from gold that reached for the sky. A silver mask hid all but a pair of intelligent olive eyes and set of shiny full lips that would give Angelina Jollie a run for her money. The outfit said several things at once, I’m bold, I’m powerful, I’m fashionable, you should all be fucking terrified of me.

She glided forward continuing her calm but icy lecture as she went, her hips rolling in a very feminine but not provocative manor. I watched her every move in awe as she came to circle her captive.

“You know such rudeness is intolerable,” she said.

The man seemed to struggle for words, whether because of the spell he was under or fear I couldn’t tell

“Madame Vivienne, I humbly beg your pardon!” he gasped out still frozen in place.

“You should,” Madame Vivienne came to a stop in front of him with her back to me, her voice sounding bored and angry at the same time “Whatever am I going to do with you my dear?”

I think I heard the Marquis stifle a whimper. I couldn’t help feel a little happy with his discomfort, fighting back the childish urge to stick my tongue out at him over the enchanters shoulder. I was very glad I didn’t when she turned around to engage me instead.

“My lady, you are the wounded party in this unfortunate affair.” She said. “What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man?”

It took a moment for me to process that the elegant women was even addressing me let alone asking for a response. Then I realised what it was she was asking of me. The nobleman eyes through his mask were clearly terrified, because Madame Vivienne was essentially asking whether or not I wanted this man dead. Dead! Over some spiteful words.

_That was insane!_

“He made a mistake,” I replied evenly, not wanting things to escalate into bloodshed. “But I’m going to assume the Marquis has seen the error of his ways and will learn from this, you may let him go if you wish Madame.”

“You are too kind Lady Herald.” The First Enchanter turned back to man, taking his jaw in a firm grasp, “By the grace of Andraste you have your life my dear. Do be more careful with it.”

With that she snapped her fingers and the spell holding the man immobile vanished, leaving him staggering on his feet. He straightened and with one last icy glare my way, he stormed out of the room, proverbial tail between his legs. I gave him a cheery finger wave goodbye before turning to my savior, noticing that the spectating crowd was already dispersing. The fun was all over.

“Thank you for your help,” I gushed shyly walking up to my host.

“It was my pleasure Lady herald. I’m delighted you could attended this little gathering. I’ve so wanted to meet you.” She smiled down at me, the smile was genuine but not a warm one, more eager and hungry. She turned and gliding away with a subtle tilt of her head.

 I took my cue to follow and she lead me back up the stairs she’d come down from and through to an empty corridor away from the noise of her party and from prying eyes. We came to a stop in front of a large open window. The City of Val Royeaux displayed in front of us, like wonderful painting.

“That’s quite the view.” I breathed in awe.

“It’s a grand city, artists from all over have paid a great deal to be allowed to paint from this window. Allow me to introduce myself,” she said. “I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the Imperial Court.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” I replied politely. “I’m Evelyn Treval. Thank you for inviting me, it’s… quite the party.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it my dear,” She purred obviously pleased, as if my minor incident had made the night more enjoyable for all attending.

I fidgeted with my fingers. “Is that Marquis going to cause further problems?”

“His aunt is the Vicomtese of Mont-De-Glace.” She explained matter of fact. “Not a powerful family but well respected…. and very devout. Alphonse will be disowned for this. It’s not the first time he’s bought his aunt disgrace. But I’m sure it’ll be the last. And after such a public humiliation I expect he will run off to the Dales to join the Empresses war efforts. Either to make a good end or to win back some modicum of self-respect.”

 _Geez, all this over some petty words and insinuation_! I was starting to think I should have taken Leliana and Josephine’s words more seriously.

“I’m sorry that it caused you so much trouble Madame Vivienne,” I apologised. “Thank you again for your help.”

“You are most welcome,” she smiled again, eager and shark like. “However I didn’t invite you here for pleasantries. With Divine Justinia dead and the Chantry in shambles only the Inquisition might restore sanity and order to our frightened people. As the leader of the last loyal Mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause.”

“You’re offering to help us?” I could feel my eyes widen in surprise. Seems the Inquisition was getting all sorts of volunteers from Val Royeaux, though I was still unsure why I was the person they all wanted to talk to. “That’s very gracious of you. What kind aid are you offering exactly?”

“I’m well versed in the politics of the Orlesian Empire. I know every member of the Imperial Court personally. I have all the remaining resources of the circle at my disposal. And I’m a Mage of no small talent, will that do?” While it could almost be mistaken for boasting I could tell she wasn’t, Madame de Fer was just stating the facts as they were. i had to admit they were some pretty impressive facts.

“So you’ll be working with us from inside the Imperial court?” I puzzled trying to think of how that would work to benefit the Inquisition. I’m was sure Leliana would figure out some way to use this to our advantage. She always did.

“Ordinarily I would be happy to serve as liaison to the court.” Vivienne replied looking out over the city. “But these are not ordinary times. The veil has been ripped apart and there is a hole in the sky. It is now the duty of every Mage to work towards sealing the Breach and so I would join the Inquisition on the field of battle.”

I looked at the women in awe. She was cultured, beautiful, confident and powerful. And she seemed assured in her ability to fight in battle. She was like a feminist god dressed as Maleficent. Just who was this women? 

“You mentioned the last of the loyal Mages?” I asked curious. “Loyal to who?”

“To the people of Thedas of course.” She replied. “We have not forgotten the commandment, as some have, that magic exists to serve man. I support any effort to restore such order.”

 “You want to return the Mages to the circles?” I blinked at her in shock at what she seemed to be suggesting. From what I understood of the Mage circles they were hardly a place one actually wanted to go, hence the rebellion. I couldn’t understand why she would support the basic imprisonment of her own kind.

Vivienne replied calmly, “Where else can Mages safely learn to master their talents? We need an institution to protect and nurture magic. Maker knows magic will find neither on its own.”

While what she said seemed reasonable and even ideal, I wasn’t sure if I agreed with the strict restrictions being in a circle seemed to involve. But I wasn’t here to get into a debate about something I didn’t truly understand. Instead I changed the topic of conversation.

“You support the Chantry then?”

“I was a great admirer of the late Divine Justinia the 5th. The Chantry, at its best, unites the disparate cultures of Thedas and looks after its most vulnerable. Had she lived Justinia could have accomplished so much.” She offered sincerely.

“But the Chantry doesn’t approve of us, the Inquisition and … well me really.” I said carefully. “Joining us may cause problems for yourself.”

“The Chantry is leaderless,” she countered matter of fact. “They are in no position to officially sanction anything. Besides my dear, if there is one virtue the chant of light teaches us it is forgiveness. Once the Inquisition has sealed the Breach I’m sure the new Divine will not care the slightest about official permission.”

Well I had to respect her optimism and confidence, even if I didn’t share it. She had obviously never met Chancellor Roderick.

“And what about you? What do you get out of joining us?” I asked.

She looked at me, her eyes meeting mine and holding my gaze. “The same thing anyone gets by fighting this chaos: the chance to meet my enemy, to decide my fate. I won’t wait quietly for destruction.”

I could understand that. Vivienne seemed to be the kind of person to take control of the world’s problems herself, if only to get the best outcome possible for her. I wasn’t sure if I could trust her entirely but I did respect her. She appeared to want the same outcome of peace as the Inquisition. It seemed foolish to turn away any potential ally let alone one so powerful and well connected.

“I’m sure the Inquisition would be glad to have you Madame Vivienne,” I declared smiling hopefully at her.

She smiled back, pleased and genuine behind her mask. “Great things are beginning my dear I can promise you that.”

“I hope so,” I replied. “We could use some-“

“EVELYN!!!” Cassandra loud voice interrupted our conversation as she rounded the corridor, her accent becoming thicker in her anger. “I have been looking everywhere for you! What in the Makers name were you thinking?!”

“Uh-oh…” I whimpered. In all the drama I’d forgotten about Cassandra.

 _... Oops_.

“I heard there was an incident, that you were challenged!” She continued to rave as she approached us, dark pink tinged her high cheekbones. “This is what happens when you go off on your own!”

“I’m sorry Cassandra,” I offered meekly raising my hand in a placating gesture. “But it really wasn’t my fault.”

“The Herald speaks the truth,” Vivienne interjected on my behalf. “The man responsible was intentionally trying to cause a scene for his own benefit. He has been taken care of.”

Cassandra turned her steely eyes to the enchanter. To her credit Vivienne did not seem at all phased, in fact she almost looked amused.

“And you are?” Cassandra questioned looking Vivienne over, her hand resting on the hilt of her sword.

“This is Madame Vivienne,” I explained hurriedly. “She helped me out with the Marquis and has offered to join the Inquisition. That’s why she invited us here. Madame Vivienne this is Lady Cassandra Pentaghast, former Right Hand of Divine Justina and a founder of the Inquisition.”

“I’m well aware of who Lady Pentaghast is my dear,” Vivienne said cheerfully walking forward to shake Cassandra hand. “I’ve heard so much about you dear Cassandra, we’ve met once before. A few years back at a ball held in the Divines honor at Val Shivan.”

Cassandra didn’t relax but did take her hand from her sword, somewhat reluctantly.

“Oh, forgive me for not recognising you. I never did well at parties,” she said. “Orlessian masks make it difficult to remember a face”

“Nonsense darling,” Madame de Fer said cheerfully. “There is nothing to forgive. Though you will have to excuse me. I’ve been away from my own party far too long. Do enjoy yourselves for tonight I’m sure we’ll have much to discuss tomorrow. I’ll have the servants organise rooms for you both to retire to.”

“Oh, thank you but we already have lodgings at an tavern.” I explained hastily. “We have friends waiting for us there. They’d be concerned if we don’t return.”

 Vivienne tutted in disapproval. “We can’t have the Herald of Andraste spending her time in a dingy inn while in the Capital of Orlais. Tomorrow night then, you and your companions must stay here and experience real Orlessian comfort before we depart.”

I started to decline, “We couldn’t possible impress upon you-“

“I won’t take no for an answer my dear,” Vivienne purred as she sashayed away, heals clicking on the marble floor. “I will await your arrival tomorrow by mid-afternoon at the latest. Until then darling.”

Cassandra and I watched her leave, both of us effectively being steam rolled by the women.

“I think that went well, but honestly I’m not sure,” I eventually said.

“It seems you have gained us another ally for the Inquisition,” Cassandra commented. “Leliana and Josephine will be most pleased.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck ruefully and looked out to the glittering city. “But Sera is not going to be too happy with me.”

Madame de Fer did not realise what she had just invited into her home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of emotional drama coming up in the next chapter....  
> See you then


	18. The Trouble With Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What are you implying exactly Madame Vivienne? That I’m being used by the Inquisition?”
> 
> Evie has a chat with her newest companion and receives some unwanted advice making her reconsider if she can really trust the Inquisition and those in it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little angst, don't hate me.   
> Just remember Evie still has a lot of growing to do, shes still adjusting.  
> Thank you all for reading.  
> Remember to leave kudos or a comment to let me know if i'm doing something right.

## The Trouble With Trust ##

 

 

We arrived at our new accommodations early the next afternoon. After a quick greeting by the First Enchanter, who offered her apologies that the owner of this manor and personal friend of hers Duke Bastien would not be joining us this evening, we were given a quick tour of the building and shown to our rooms. The guest rooms were beautiful if a little over the top, I could imagine the ornate furniture and expensive materials would rival even those of Buckingham palace and I was more than a little reluctant to touch anything encase I broke something that probably cost more than all of Havens furniture combined. I’d been given a room to myself while the others were shown to smaller two bed rooms just down the hall. If I was honest with myself I was happy for the rare bit of privacy it offered but more than a little nervous about being alone in some strangers’ expensive house.

I had spent a small amount of time exploring my surroundings and looking out at the sprawling city from the elaborate stain glass windows of my room. I also looked under the bed, the table cloths and every over stuffed couch for possible assassins. Still not sure what I would have done if I’d found one though.

I’d just flopped into an exhausted pile on the overstuffed bed when there was a timid knock at the door. Sitting up I watched as two servants dressed in matching silver and blue uniforms let themselves in carrying a large copper tub engraved with swirling ruins and intricate designs. Another two servants followed, one bringing in a wooden fold out screen and a stool the other and only women of the group was holding a small basket approached me.

She was elven with large brown eyes and long black hair tied up in a knot at the back of her head, she looked older than most elves I’d met, the lines around her eyes giving her a look of a middle age human. She gave me a slight bow and addressed me politely and formally in a soft voice.

“Herald of Andraste, my name is Silvie. First Enchanter Vivienne welcomes you to chateau Ghislain. She has offered you and your escorts the use of the baths while you rest and insist that you join her in the dining hall this evening for a small celebratory meal.”

“Oh, that’s….. Very kind of her,” I replied, distracted by the sudden influx of servants bringing in large pales of steaming water to fill the tub after it was set up behind the fold out screen. Briefly I wondered if this was a kind offer for a group of weary travelers or an insult on our hygiene and a subtle bid to wash the common of us before we sat on the noble furniture. “Are my friends getting their own baths as well?” I asked warily.

_Just how many servants did this Duke friend of Vivienne’s have?_

“No Lady Herald,” She replied unfazed by my awkwardness. “They have been shown to the bathing chambers downstairs. Madame Vivienne thought you may prefer some privacy given your station my lady.”

“Oh… right,” Because I was Andrastes chosen I got my own bath while my friends got shown the regular ones. While I appreciated the thought and the fancy tub _and_ the idea of a nice warm bath to myself I didn’t feel like I deserved it any more than the others. They were the ones doing all the fighting and protecting.

This Herald thing was rather isolating.

“I have been tasked with the honor of helping you wash and get ready,” Silvie continued offering the basket in her hands for inspection, it seemed to be filled with an assortment of different sized and coloured vials, bottles, perfumes and soaps. “These are some of the finest products Orlais has to offer, a gift from Madame Vivienne for your arrival. I will assist you in their use when the bath is ready.”

I blushed scarlet, “Oh... um thanks really but y-you don’t need to help me, I can …. Wash myself just fine really… I-um… yeah, thank you for the offer though. The gift is beautiful, really nice.”

I swear I saw Silvies mouth twitch in amusement at my discomfort. In my defense no one had seen me naked since before I learnt to dress myself. I had enough problems with people judging me as it was, having a total stranger wash me was completely unnecessary. Why the nobles of Orlais felt they needed help to wash themselves in the first place was beyond me. Sera might be right about these people after all.

_Orlessians were weird..._

“As you wish,” she said softly bowing again. “I will help finish setting up the bath and we will leave you in peace. I will come to collect you in a few hours to escort you to dinner.”

“Thank you. That would be great.” I sighed in relief.

I sat back hesitantly, watching as the servants finished filling the tub and Silvie checked the temperature before pouring a small vial of liquid in to the bath making the surface froth with bubbles and the room smell of roses and vanilla. She stood offering me a slight bow before leaving the room with the others and closing the door behind her with a soft click. I waited a moment to make sure they were really gone before locking the door and cautiously checking the water with my fingertips.

…. It was heavenly.

 Within a few heartbeats I was stripped and soaking in the tub with a content sigh. The hot water was bliss after a week of quick basin washes and dips in chilly streams and lakes. I missed the convenience of modern day plumbing, life just didn’t seem right without a hot shower at the end of the day. As I stretched and soaked my tired muscles in the water I felt myself relax a little and looked through the products Silvie had gifted me. I recognized a few labels indicating bath oils, soaps, lotions and hair conditioners as well as a small jar of the hair removal cream Josephine had got me weeks ago. I guess Josephine really did try to give me the best, I made a mental reminder to thank her again when we got back to Haven. I washed, primped and polished myself until I felt almost normal, my hair was glossy and silky my skin clean, soft and smooth. I was almost dozing in the warm water when the sound of the door opening from behind the wooden screen alerted me to someone’s unannounced entrance, either someone with a key or someone good with locks. I shifted cautiously, the water splashing around my shoulders as I reached for the towel for coverage.

“Hello, is someone there?” I called out wishing I’d bought a weapon with me to have at hand.

“My apologies for intruding my dear, I was hoping to have a word with you before dinner.”

I sat back still cautious but recognizing the voice instantly. “Madame Vivienne. Give me a moment to get dressed and I’ll be right with you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous darling. You may still enjoy your bath while we talk.” She said smoothly, I could make out the sound of her drawing a chair up and sitting down on the other side of the screen, her heels tapping on the glossy stone tile as she walked. “I just wanted a moment of your time to ask a few questions.”

“Um ok,” I replied carefully, sinking back into the water feeling vulnerable and embarrassed with another person barely a foot away while I was naked and unarmed. Vivienne had joined our cause willingly even seeking us out deliberately to offer her aid but I still knew barely anything about her or her motives. This was more than a little uncomfortable for me but she was our host and apart from rudely kicking the Grand Enchanter out of her own rooms and jeopardising the Inquisitions new asset there wasn’t much I could do except drape the towel over the top of the bath as a precaution.

“Ask away.” I chirped trying to sound cheerful.

“I was curious about you, for obvious reasons of course," she began, speaking as if this were just a normal polite conversation. "The Herald of Andraste is the name on influential lips all across Thedas. Yet there is little about you personally actually being said. Everyone debates whether or not you are truly Andrastes chosen and why. Speculation about where you are from and your own motives run rampart. Some of the rumours I’ve heard are quiet fascinating.”

My stomach turned unpleasantly with sudden nerves. I felt like her intense knowing gaze was surveying me through the wooden screen, robbing me of my secrets. She was suspicious and was clever enough to know something about me wasn’t right. I needed to be careful with what I said here.

“I’d love to hear some of these rumours,” I replied. “I sure some of them are outrageous, to be honest I could use a laugh at my own expense.”

“Indeed,” she replied sounding somehow pleased. “My personal favourite is that you’re a Qunari spy sent to the conclave to destroy the peace talks and cause dissent amongst the country to help with the inevitable conquering by your people.”

I laughed quietly. I had no idea what a Qunari was but I found the concept of me being a spy ridiculously funny.  “I don’t think I’d make a good spy, I trip over too much.”

“I’d also heard you are of foreign royal blood, last in line apparently, and this is a creative attempt to seize a thrown for yourself here in Orlais or Fereldin.  Some believe you have been sent to us directly from the Makers side as a holy guide or are not just the Herald of Andraste but Andraste herself reborn.”

“That last ones a little overwhelming.” I frowned, not as amused. That was a lot of pressure to put on one person. Not to mention I knew how Andrastes story ended… it wasn’t good.

“A daunting expectation I’m sure,” Vivienne purred. “Though one that seems almost fitting. More fitting than the common assumption of your origins at any rate.”

“Oh, I don’t think I understand.” I was glad she couldn’t see my face, the redness would have given away my uncertainty and fear of being caught out. Yes she was part of the Inquisition now but I was unsure of just how many people would be allowed to know my secret. I’d need to have a talk with Leliana about who it would be safe to tell the truth of my other-worldliness.

“Admittedly your demeanour and character would suit that of a Sister of the Chanty perfectly, yet I have yet to hear you mention anything about the Maker or say a simple prayer as even a new initiate would. Nor do you speak like a small town women from the outskirts of Markham, you’re far too polite and well versed.”

I laughed, trying to make it sound genuine and cover my uncertainty. “I wonder what it says about people who find it easier to believe I’m a holy reincarnation of the Makers bride instead of just being well read and polite. I suppose everyone wants and needs something to believe in, even if it does seem so impossible. These are desperate times after all, a little hope and faith can go a long way even if it is misplaced.”

To my surprise Vivienne let out a short peeling laugh and a delighted clap. “Well done my dear that was an answer worthy of the ‘Grand Game’ itself.”

“I’m sorry?” I replied confused.

“You’re right not to trust me my dear,” she said. “After all you barely know me. Someone in your position can hardly afford to just blindly give away what secrets you have to just anyone.”

“My position?” I questioned. Not liking where this conversation was heading.

“You, my dear Herald, are an unknown power,” She explained. “One that anybody and everyone of influence will be vying for control over. You’ve arrive almost out of nowhere with no real ties to any influential party. Yet already you bare a mark of powerful unknown magic and are being revered as a holy figure.”

“I never asked to be,” I said quietly. “I don’t want to be seen as some holy saviour.”

“Never the less, you have the mark. You alone seem able to close the Rifts. Whether sent by Andraste or not many see you as their saviour and will worship you as such. What you say and do will influence thousands.”

“Where are you going with this?” I asked suspiciously. “I don’t intend to influence thousands. I just want to close the Breach.”

“You may very well not, however there will be those who will try and use you for their own means Lady Treval,” The way she said my name left me under no assumption that she actually believed me to be a lady of any means. “You need to be aware of that. Some may already be doing so.”

My blood ran cold and my stomach dropped.

“What are you implying exactly Madame Vivienne?” I stated coldly. “That I’m being used by the Inquisition?”

“I’m not implying anything my dear Herald,” she replied pleasantly. “I’m just offering some advice I’ve learnt over the years that may keep you alive. Trust for the sake of trust alone is dangerous and foolish. Even family and lovers can turn on you in the end leaving you broken and used unless you are careful. Trusting and putting yourself at the use of others will ultimately leave you as someone else’s pawn to use as they will for their own purposes with no means of escape. The only person a women can truly rely on is herself. The only safe way to navigate this world and come out on top is to find allies and partners in which there is a mutual benefit to both parties involved and to make sure when a better offer is presented that you are the one to take it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I said trying to hide my distress, my throat tight.

“Because _we are_ working towards a common goal.” I could hear Vivienne stand from her seat. “You have great potential Herald and you can use it to do great things. But in order for you to reach your full potential you need to understand your position and what to do with it. It would be a shame for you to turn into someone else’s puppet.”

“I’m not a puppet,” I denied quietly. “Cassandra and the others are helping me close the Breach, they have kept me safe. I have no reason not to trust them.”

“Of course darling,” she purred. “Though maybe you should be asking what your reasons for trusting them are. Is it because you share a common goal, or are you unwillingly putting yourself in someone else’s power in a gesture of misplaced friendship.”

I felt like she had punched me in the stomach and didn’t say anything as she made her way across the room. I didn’t register what it was she said in farewell as she left the room, the heavy door closing behind her with a soft click. Instead I stared down to where the mark wavered and glittered under the surface of the bath water the bubbles having dissolved during the course of our conversation.

I hated what Vivienne had said. It had been calculated, cold and heartless. Worst of all it had all been true.

_Had I deluded myself into thinking these people actually cared about me as a friend? That they actually had my best interests at heart? Should I actually trust Cassandra and the others?_ After all I wasn’t even sure that half of them didn’t think I was insane. They could just be a group of people keeping me alive only to use me for their own means. I never wanted to gain a following as a Herald of anything yet Leliana by her own admission certainly didn’t try stop the rumours when they’d first occurred, turning it into something the Inquisition could use. They hadn’t exactly sort out my approval before hand.

I sunk deeper into the bath. Feeling like a complete idiot.

I thought I was helping because it was the right thing to do. Surely saving a world from demons and a hole in the sky was a good thing. Given my predicament I didn’t really have any options but to stay with the Inquisition, _where else could I go?_ At least if I was being manipulated by the Inquisition I was being used for the right reasons.

_Right?_

I was so naïve and clueless of this world I had to rely on someone’s help and guidance to survive it, but was it possible I was being fed lies in order to be controlled? I would have no real way of knowing the truth if that was the case.

I lifted my marked hand out of the water, watching as it pulsed with the occasional intense green light.

_If I didn’t have this mark and its power what would I have been?_ Would I have the chance to make friends with these people without fear that they were only kind to me because of this scar.

I thought of the drinks I’d shared with Varric and Sera the night before last, how much fun it had been. _Had it all been fake?_ What about my conversations about magic with Solas and my training with Cassandra and Cullen? Where the smiles and laughs real? I’d been travelling and living with my companions for weeks now, was it just familiarity developing or was it friendship?

_Was I really that alone here?_

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

When the water became cold I forced myself to get up and dressed. Silvie had left a complicated looking set of material I assumed would make up a dress when put together properly. Only I had no clue how. I spent around an hour trying on and wiggling in and out of the different parts only to get stuck or look completely ridiculous. My head still turning from my conversation with Vivienne wasn’t helping my frustrated and flustered state of mind. Which was why when the elven servant returned to escort me to the dining hall she found me standing by the bed in my under clothes and a lacy white slip holding up what I assumed was a some kind of skirt with more laces and buttons than generally required.

I looked up at her pathetically as she entered and murmured a quiet ‘help’ before bursting into tears.

I covered my face with my hand and tried to stifle my sobs through hiccups and blubbered embarrassed apologies to the women _._

_What was wrong with me? Falling apart like this in front of a complete stranger because I couldn’t get a dress on!_ I was beyond pathetic.

I felt a pair of small hand pulled my own away from my face, leaving me staring down at the elf women's brown eyes.

“Enough of that,” she said firmly, taking hold of a different piece of fabric she held it forward. “Now, step into this and pull it up past your waist.”

I did as I was told, still sniffling and hiccuping, but following the simple instructions I was given. Next it was a low cut top, Silvie ordering me to hold out my arms as she laced up some straps on the back. Then another layer of skirt. We continued on like that, Silvie giving me commands and tightening belts or laces until I found myself dressed and no longer crying. The elf then instructed me to sit on the bed while she went and retrieved a brush and some pins and began to do my hair.

Back home in my own world I would sit and have my friends do my hair like this before a night out because I was completely inept when doing it myself. I felt a sharp pang of home sickness and really fought to stop the tears again.

“I have two daughters,” Silvie finally said, brushing back a strand of hair and twisting it to her whim with small clever fingers. “They’d be about your age. I still enjoy doing their hair for them come the festivals.”

“They’re very lucky to have you,” I rasped honestly. “My mum was as awful with hair as I am.”

“Indeed they are.” She said warmly. “I know my daughters very well you see. I’ve seen them go through a lot and I know that even at their most frustrated they shouldn’t get that upset over a simple dress.”

I flushed, shame faced at the reprimand. Before I could apologise the elf continued.

“And when they did it meant that something else was bothering them, something they couldn’t or didn’t want to talk about. And it was something little, like a dress that didn’t fit, that pushed them just a little too far. However once they’d talked it out they would realise that the dress was now the only problem they would have left, and they would be happy about it.”

I stayed silent as she continued her work, pull twist, pull twist.

“It may not be my place to say such things my Lady, but you look too young to be so tormented by a dress.”

I was quiet for a moment longer, feeling her thin fingers comb through and style my hair. When I spoke it was barely above a whisper.

“Hypothetically, what would you do if you couldn’t trust anyone? I mean if you were in a foreign country, with no one you knew and you suspected that the people you thought were your friends might actually be using you. If you found yourself in a situation that forced you to change your beliefs about people in general, how do I - how would you go on?”

“That sounds lonely," She hummed thoughtfully. "Hypothetically speaking of course.”

My chest felt tight, I mumbled “I suppose it would be.”

“I would have to make a choice about what kind of person I wanted to be. Do I be safe or reckless?”

“How do you mean?” I puzzled at her answer.

“Well, I could keep myself safe, continue to dwell on my suspicions and fear, never trusting anyone or letting them in fully. Working along with people but never really getting to know them. Hardening my heart so no one could betray or hurt me. Becoming strong and learn to be alone. Or I could give others the benefit of the doubt, get to know them and in return open myself up to them, leaving myself open to betrayal and heartbreak, but also to love and friendship.”

“That simple huh?” I sighed.

Silvie made the finishing touches on my hair, walking around in front of me she made me stand and looked me over, appraising her work before nodding.

“It can be,” she said leading me towards a standing mirror. “It’s easier to close yourself off to protect yourself Da’len. It is harder to see the good in others and believe in them without reason, to put yourself second. But I’ve always found the harder path is always the most rewarding. You never know, the people you meet might need you just as much as you need them.”

I looked at my reflection. Silvie had braided sections of my hair, entwining it with white ribbons and pulling it up into an elegant but loose bun at the back of my head. It was beautiful. The dress was over the top, the low cut tunic with extremely long and billowy sleaves that almost touched the floor had been covered by a long dark blue vest was adorned with silver vines and leaf embroidery, a silvery grey sash around my waist holding it in place and accentuating my thin waist. The semi full skirt was coloured a soft grey and trimmed with dark blue, I would have to lift the heavy material as I walked so I didn’t trip.

Only my red eyes and tear streaked face ruined the image of a pampered Orlessian noble.

“Thank you Silvie,” I turned to the elf women and startled her by giving her a tight hug. “You were right.”

I stepped back and gave a choked laugh, whipping my checks with the back of my hand. Smiling widely.

 “Now the dress is my only problem. It’s completely ridiculous and over the top!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I don't dislike Vivienne. I think she is a strong and practical character (not to mention her snark and wit is too funny) and that this was something Evie really needed to hear and come to terms with. Vivienne was just the right person to deliver the message.  
> Secondly I'm sorry but I've been having some technical difficulties so my laptop has been sent for repairs, which means I'm currently sharing/ borrowing an old one. I'll still update as much as possible but I'll have less time to just sit and write and after this next chapter i have a small section of story that is pretty much a blank which will need a bit of work. It just means that updates may take a touch longer. So please bare with me.


	19. Getting Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Guys calm down-“
> 
> With so many different people with different views at one table, dinner becomes a little..... tense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Hope you enjoy the next Chapter.

## Getting Along… ##

Twenty minutes later I was being led down an expensive looking corridor to the dining hall. It was lucky that Silvie had decided to check on me early otherwise I would be incredibly late for the dinner Vivienne had planned. As it was I was still running behind after the elf had insisted I washed my face and apply some simple make up to hide the evidence of my breakdown. Silvie had been a absolute lifesaver, I was going to have to think very hard about what I could do to repay the kindness she had shown me.

We reached a set of doors and I was promptly ushered inside to find myself in a large well lit room occupied by the longest dining table I’d ever seen. It would have easily sat an entire football team plus their spouses. Down the very end of the table my companions sat; Solas, Varric and Cassandra. All of them looking anxious. When they saw me enter I couldn’t help but notice how they all seemed to relax slightly.

I felt a sudden warmth spread through my stomach, followed by a rush of guilt. They had been worried about me.

_I was an idiot to doubt them for even a moment._

Varric was the first to take notice of how I was dressed as I approached the group. He let out a low whistle.

“Helllllooo Herald. Don’t you scrub up nice?” The dwarf waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I flushed embarrassed and tried to smooth down the swirling skirt with my stupidly long sleeves getting in the way.

“I feel ridiculous.” I hissed, making my way to the empty seat to the left of the head of the table.

“You look lovely,” Solas commented kindly standing to pull my chair out for me. It was a good thing I was already red faced, I could hardly get any redder. Solas looked surprisingly dashing in a well-fitting high collared emerald green jacket and black leggings. It was a very different look from his usual rugged outfit. It suited him.

“Th-thanks,” I stuttered taking my seat, across the table from Cassandra.

"I was about to come collect you myself," she said. "Knowing you I suspected you had gotten lost on the way here."

“How come you get to wear something practical?” I shot to the Seeker, eyeing her smart black leather pants, deep toffee coloured vest and cream tunic combination with envy.

“They gave me a dress and I told them to find me something else.” She said sourly.

“So did I?” I commented confused. Even after pleading with Silvie for something a little less flashy I still had to wear this.

“I asked nicely.” Cassandra replied, there was an evil glint in her eye and a vindictive twist to her mouth that made me want to push my chair back a few feet.

“Really Seeker, you can’t play nice for one evening?” Varric quipped happily from his seat beside her. I noticed his outfit seemed like a more expensive better kept version of his usual attire. Dark coat over a deep red top with far too many buttons left open.

“It was pink…” Cassandra growled darkly, as if they’d asked her to come naked.

Varric snorted his wine back into the goblet he’d just taken a sip out of, his face turning red as he desperately tried not to laugh while choking. I suppressed a giggle myself as Cassandra gave the dwarf a disgusted look and forced a cloth napkin into his chest with enough force to cause Varric to grunt in pain.

“Where’s Sera?” I asked, noting the absence of the other elf. She hadn’t been all that thrilled on the nights accommodation or the new addition to our team. I had been half convinced she was going to storm off and never come back when I’d told her the news last night on our return from Vivienne’s party. Thankfully all that had happened was a few dirty looks and a promise that if I ever went all “Nobby butt head” on her she would fill my pillow with spiders.

The threat was completely effective.

Everyone shrugged, unconcerned. Varric began to mop up his spill.

“I did see her leaving the baths, though it was a while ago,” offered Cassandra thoughtfully.

I felt a bit nervous.  Sera could have caused any number of problems in a place like this, I hoped she wasn’t about to get us all into trouble. While Vivienne wasn’t my favourite person right now she didn’t seem like a bad one. It would be a shame for the Inquisition to lose her aid.

Just then the doors flew open with an audible crash making all of us jump. Cassandra stood abruptly with her hand on her sword and I felt the air around Solas seem to tremble as he called forth his magic.

 _Oh my_ …..

I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop myself from bursting into a fit a giggles.

Sera glided gracefully into the room, shoulders back and head held high, nose pointing straight up. A perfect over the top imitation of a stuck up noble. She was wearing what looked to be an elegant silk high collared dress that used to be powder blue in colour and expensive in nature. Now it was covered in mud and hacked to an indecent length, Seras plaid-weave leggings worn underneath. There were twigs sticking out of her hair and she had drawn whiskers on her own cheeks with make-up. The elf had evidently gone to great lengths to make herself as un-presentable as possible.

Varric and Cassandra stared open mouthed as the elf sat herself down without a word. Solas shook his head disdainfully and sighed into his wine glass, his brow furrowed in distaste.

The dwarf was the first to break the silence with a sudden chortle, lifting his cup in mock salute. “I’m not sure why you did it Buttercup, but I admire your determination for a cause.”

“What in the Makers name are you thinking?” Cassandra hissed, she seemed to be struggling with whether or not she was appalled or impressed. I had a feeling she was secretly wishing she had thought of it herself. “Madame Vivienne is going to be severely insulted!”

“It’s a message,” Sera declared banging her fist on the table. “She just can’t change people, with fancy clothes and words and shite. I’m not falling for it. ”

“It’s a petty waste of a gift,” scowled Solas. “And a pointless attempt to pick a fight with an ally.”

“It’s stuff,” Sera retorted. “And stuff doesn’t matter Elfy.”

“Guys calm down-“ I started to play peace keeper when the door opened again. This time we all stood and watched as Madame Vivienne glided into the room. Dressed in a similar outfit to what she wore the night before only this time in shades of white and green and minus the mask. We all held our breath as she looked us all over appraisingly, her eyes hardening and mouth twisting at the corners as her eyes landed on Sera. She sniffed disdainfully and sashayed down the length of the table to her own seat.

“I apologise for my tardiness my dears,” she purred seemingly unaffected. “I had some last minute plans to finalise before we leave tomorrow. I must say I appreciate the … _effort_ you have all put into your appearances this evening.”

Her olive eyes slid over to Sera who battered her lashes and smiled demurely at the first enchanter, the picture of innocence…. Minus the actual innocence.

 “I’m sure you all must be dreadfully tired of travelling attire,” Vivienne continued taking her seat at the head of the table, the rest of us following suit. “Evelyn my dear, you look a vision. Though I think next time we will try a different style on you, a few adjustment to make you seem a little more… powerful, less reserved. After all presentation is everything.”

I stiffened defensively as the Mage turned her attention to me. After everything she had sad to me earlier I certainly wasn’t comfortable around the women. I didn’t think she had intended to be cruel or to shake my confidence as she had. I believed she had honestly been trying to give me advice. But I didn’t want to see the world the way she did, and it worried me that that was the way she perceived the people around her, including myself. Dispensable and interchanging.

“Thank you Madame Vivienne,” I replied softly. “I have to admit I’m not used to this kind of outfit. This dress doesn’t feel very… practical.”

“It’s all about the impact my dear Herald.” She replied pleased. “Practicality and comfort comes second to fashion.”

Down the other end of the table I heard Sera cough loudly into her hand, it sounded suspiciously like the words “snooty cow.” I sent her a stern look and was saved any further need to reprimand the elf when the servers arrived with the first course.  A bowel of creamy looking soup with flicks of red sprinkled on the top.  Vivienne took a dainty sip and the rest of us followed suit.

Had to give credit where it was due, they may have had a bizarre sense of fashion but Orlessians knew how to cook.

Conversation seemed to flow smoothly from then, even if it was a little superficial.

“You’re not from Orlais originally, Vivienne?” Cassandra asked.

“Neither are you clearly,” the enchanter replied.

“I ask because of your accent.” Cassandra continued. “I would have thought, once you joined the court...”

Vivienne interrupted smoothly, “That which makes you different can be a burden or a source of strength, my dear. Which is up to you.”

"I wish someone had told me that when I was younger.” Cassandra groused.

“Where are you from originally?” Varric chimed in curiously.

Vivienne sniffed, “I was born in Wycome, if you must know.”

“You're a fellow Marcher?” Varric seemed pleasantly shocked.

"Wycome is a _civilized_ city-state. Unlike _some.”_ She replied pointedly.

"Yeah,” The dwarf sighed. “Starkhaven is pretty much a collection of howling barbarians.”

"Which is just slightly less foul than Tantervale.” Vivienne said curling her lip disdainfully and sipping her drink.

I was barely following the conversation. I hadn’t gotten to memorizing half the places they were mentioning.

“I assume your parents were Rivaini, Vivienne.” Cassandra added.

"They were merchants, originally from Dairsmund... or so I'm told.”

Cassandra frowned sympathetically, "You don't remember?”

 “I was taken to the Ostwick's circle when I was very young. So far as I'm concerned, my life began there.” Vivienne stated proudly.  

When the next course arrived conversation turned to Cassandras efforts with the Inquisition post the Conclave and her relationship with the Divine. While I was paying attention to what was being said I felt no urge to join in, Cassandra had everything under control and I didn’t feel like talking.

I almost jumped when Solas’s smooth voice sounded from close at my side.

“Is everything alright Evelyn?” he said quietly, concern clear on his face. “You’re being oddly quiet.”

“What do you mean?” I queried cautiously, my eyes unwillingly flicking over to the head of the table.

“Normally you would be asking an all manner of questions to sate your curiosity,” he replied quirking an eyebrow and following my gaze with a sudden frown. “Did something happen?”

I felt my checks heat. _Damn he was perceptive!_

“I’m ok,” I assured him. “Just had a stupid minor personal crisis. It’s fine now, honestly.”

“If you’re sure,” he didn’t sound convinced his eyes narrowed and focussed on where Vivienne sat. The other Mage obviously feeling his gaze looked up and seemed to finally notice the Fade expert’s presence at her table.

“Solas wasn’t it?” she said pleasantly. “I understand you are an apostate.”

Solas stiffened besides me, mouth tightening into a grim line.

“That is correct, Enchanter.” He said calmly. “I did not train in your Circles.”

Vivienne’s grin seemed to widen and she spoke sweetly. “Well dear, I hope you can take care of yourself, should we encounter anything outside your experience.”

I bristled on my friends’ behalf and was ready to jump forward to defend his abilities when the apostate in question surprised me by doing so himself.

"I will try, in my own fumbling way, to learn from how you helped seal the Rifts at Haven.” He said tartly. “Ah, wait. My memory misleads me. You were not there.”

My jaw dropped at Solas’s uncharacteristic display of grandstanding, I heard Varric again choking on his drink. To her credit Madame de Fer’s smile did not waver.

“No, unfortunately I didn’t have that particular pleasure,” she replied. “I was too busy trying to hold together the last remaining threads of order post the selfish acts of the Mage rebellion.”

“Ah yes, the fall of the Mage Circles, such a shame that,” Solas continued, calmly cutting through his slice of venison. “Where else will young Mages learn to fear the origins of their gift? Tell me, Enchanter. Do you even bother to explore the Fade in your dreams?”

“I prefer to explore the world I actually live in.” The Enchanters voice was practically dripping with disgust at the very notion.

"Pity. You could be much more powerful if you ventured outside your narrow preconceptions,” he mocked.

“Solas!” I gasped horrified. _What the hell was he doing?_

Both Mages ignored me.

"Ah, the temptation to leave the path,” Vivienne gushed. “You sound like a pride demon.”

Solas laughed, a short bitter sound, “Enchanter, any pride demon you met would just walk away, shaking its head and laughing uncontrollably.”

Vivienne laughed back, “Oh darling, more than one already has.”

I decided to intervene before the battle of wits escalated further.

“Enough, both of you!” I said firmly. “We’re all on the same side here.”

They both fell silent for a beat.

“My apologies Herald,” Solas said softly. “I let my feelings towards the Circles get away from me, such behavior is beneath me.”

I shook my head. “Don’t be. You’re not completely to blame Solas. Both of you were baiting each other. I understand that you have a difference of opinion and that you may not even like each other,” I looked around the table looking everyone in the eye making it known this wasn’t just about the two Mages. “But we will all need to learn to work together for this Inquisition to succeed. This will go a lot better for everyone involved if we can all be civil, you might even find after a time that the people you dislike aren’t as bad as you thought. So please just try to be nice.”

Vivienne sighed heavily.

“As you wish my dear, if it bothers you so.” She sniffed indifferently.

“Thank you,” I said softly looking down at my meal, suddenly feeling embarrassed about my outburst. “I’d appreciate it greatly.”

“Varric darling, did you know I’ve read your book,” Vivienne gushed restarting the conversation like nothing had happened.

Varrics eyebrows crept up his forehead. “Is that so? Which one?”

“Hard in Hightown, it was all the rage a few seasons ago.”

“No kidding! Just how much is my publisher stealing from me?”

I went back to my food as the talk continued, happy that the drama had died down at least for now though knowing it wasn't likely to be the last round of bickering within such a diverse group. Looking up as desert was served I was startled to see Cassandra was looking intently at me from across the plates of crembrule. I was even more startled when she lifted her cup in a small salute, a slight smile only partially hidden by her cup.

 

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When the dinner was complete and everyone had expressed how good the food was Vivienne excused herself for the evening and instructed the staff to help escort us back to our rooms when we were ready. After such a heavy meal in warm comfort I think we were all eager for an early night before we began travelling again in the morning. I could practically hear my over-stuffed bed singing to me.

Having said my good nights I was about to open the door to my room when a voice called out behind me.

“Oi, Herald!”

I turned to see Sera standing down the hall looking almost awkward and she approached me. Her cats whiskers had become some-what smudged over the course of the night and she had long since plucked the twigs out of her hair to use as projectiles. Currently she was twisting her thin hands in front of her chest and had sheepish look on her face.

“Sera?” I queried, worried at her unusual nervousness. “Is something wrong?”

“No, sorta,” she mumbled. “Well there could have been.”

“Okay..?” I was already lost. “Are you able to explain that a little bit for me?”

“Look I just wanted to say sorry alright!” she burst out suddenly.

“Why?” I asked brow furrowed. “Because of the dress? I actually thought what you did was pretty awesome. You don’t have to-“

“No not that,” she groaned frustrated, ruffling her own hair making it stand on end. “The dress was part of the apology actually.”

“Huh?” I was completely baffled now.

“You see I was angry right,” the elf began to rant, scrawny arms waving in extravagant gestures. “Coz you seemed real good the other day, too good really. Then you _were_ too good coz you went to that fancy party and brought back a bitch to join your Inquisition. Even after all I said about nobs punching down you went and made friends with one and that’s not good right? And a saw Lady Bitch pants coming outta your room after the bath, and I told myself to get over it coz it could be important stuff that Heralds have to do. And I want to help make things normal again soo… suck it up yeah? Then I found the stupid elfy dress they’d left me on my bed and I got mad, coz friggin’ dresses and shite and you being a pouncey lap dog to nobs and I came here to give you what for and you were crying-“

My stomach dropped as realisation hit me like a sledge hammer.

_Oh no, She’d seen that!_

“Sera I-“ I tried to explain but the elf just kept on going.

“I probably shouldn’t have listened but I did and I figured Lady Bitch face had said something to you to make you think like that and I got even more pissed coz you were stupid enough to even listen to her, but then you listened to the servant instead and I realised I may have been a bit harsh on you, coz I didn’t realise what you were dealing with and-well piss up a rope that shits messed up. So I messed up the dress instead to screw with Vivvy for you. And now I want to say Sorry. So Sorry yeah?”

I stared dumb founded for a moment, it took a while to process and make sense of what she said.

“Sera you don’t have to be sorry,” I finally said, smiling kindly at the other girl. “I mean, you probably shouldn’t have ease dropped… geez I feel so embarrassed you saw me like that. But apart from that you didn’t do anything to me. Unless you ended up putting those spiders in my pillow, then we may have a problem.”

“But I was mad right?” she urged. “When I shouldn’t have been, so just accept the friggin’ apology already so I can go to bed.”

Biting down a laugh I gave her a solemn nod, “Alright Sera, apology accepted.”

“Good,” she sighed in relief and turned to go into the room she was sharing with Cassandra before turning back to me.

 “Don’t go cold ok?” Sera said seriously. “If you’re gonna save the world and all for the better you can’t do it thinking that everyone’s bad, coz then the world will just be bad, you know? It won’t be worth saving then.”

“I won’t,” I promised honestly. “It was a moment of weakness Sera. Won’t happen again.”

With one last nod she slipped away into her room and I let myself into mine. Wasting no time I was quickly snuggling under the plush covers and found myself drifting off in minutes. It had been a tiring day.

Vivienne’s way of thinking worked for her, and I was ok with that. I felt bad that that was how she lived her life but it was her way of dealing with the path she’d chosen.

But it wouldn’t work for me.

 I couldn’t resign myself to living in a world where I believed to worst of the people around me. I would trust the Inquisition and my companions because I wanted to believe the best in them. I didn’t want to be alone here and I actually really liked the people I’d met so far. I wanted to be their friend. That didn’t mean I would let myself be used blindly. Yes it would be easy for someone to manipulate me, given how little I knew of this world. But I would learn in time and I would do what _I_ thought was right.

I would find a way to make it work. In the meantime I would trust my friends, not because I had to but because I wanted to.

A distant loud cry from down the corridor had me sitting upright in bed. I was about to jump out and investigated when the cry was followed by the sound of scampering feet and a gleeful cackle.

"GET BACK HERE SERA!" Cassandra scream followed next along with the noise of heavier footfalls down the corridor. "I SWEAR TO THE MAKER IF YOU DON'T BRING THOSE BACK I- I WILL END YOU!"

I sighed and fell back into my bed.

Oh yes, I would trust them to look after me and help me through this. That was if they didn't Kill each other first of course.

 

 


	20. Party Dynamics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t recruit, them they approached us.”
> 
> Evie and the party get back to Haven where discussions are had and injuries are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait. My computer problems have escalated to not having something to type on. Very frustrating but I've sort of found away around it.  
> Any way really just a filler chapter but I still hope you enjoy :)

## Party Dynamics ##

 

The next morning we set out on the two day journey back to Haven, the house staff from chatue de’Ghislain present at the gates to bid us farewell in style with many bows and curtsy’s and several fluttering banners and a few trumpets just so the neighbours knew of our departure. While most of us walked through the progression red faced and embarrassed Vivienne beamed and waved regally, clearly loving the attention.  Departing the grand city we collected our mounts at the stables and rode out onto the main roads, leaving the shinning beauty of Val Royeaux behind us.

With the horses and our two newest additions our small party was slowly growing. Travelling in larger group had both its advantages and draw backs. While there was more people to help set up camp at night and more able bodies in case of a fight we were too large a group to travel unnoticed, particularly with Madame Vivienne and her stunning white stallion Duchess who was decked out in some vibrant Orlessain horse armour; including a glittering face mask of its own, complete with long fluffy silver feathers mounted and fanning outwards from its forehead.

Poor creature, I wasn’t sure how Vivienne could even see around it to view the road ahead.

Being so visible and conspicuous had Cassandra nervous and rightly so. We were targeted by bandits three times during our journey back. Thankfully it was nothing we couldn’t manage particularly with our newest members adding their strength and skills to the mix. In fact the small skirmishes gave me a good opportunity to learn a little bit more about how the new ladies worked.

Sera had a habit of disappearing at the beginning of a fight and miraculously popping up all around the battle field giggling and laughing as she’d shoot at impossible targets and hit them with ease. When someone got to close she would twist away, leaping and springing back like an Olympic gymnast on crack. At one stage I’d caught sight of her hanging upside down on a high tree branch and picking of targets, deliberately aiming for their rears chanting “Butts, butts, arrows, butts…. Arrow Butt!” Vivienne on the other hand was calm and glacial during battle, nothing seemed to faze her. The enchanter seem to favour ice and barrier magic much like Solas did though it lacked the wildness and fury that the elf seemed to cast with, seeming more reserved and reigned in. I was surprised to find that Vivienne didn’t stand back and confine herself to ranged attacks like most Mages I’d seen.  For many of the fights I would find her battling close to my side having summoned a golden sword made of shining light and cutting down anyone stupid enough to get close. What shocked me more however was that no matter how hectic the fight she would always walk out of it looking immaculate, not a drop of spilled blood marring her clothes or a bead of sweat on her brow.

In those moment I couldn’t help but hate her just a little, Vivienne was practically perfect where as I came out of the skirmishes looking a bedraggled red-faced mess.

_Life was so unfair._

I had thought that the distinguished women would at least have a little trouble adapting to camping in the wilderness however she only seemed to sneer in disgust and make a few snarky remarks about the quality of the tents before getting to work setting up her own. While Vivienne liked the finer things in life she was nothing if not practical. She understood that sleeping in the open or in cheap taverns was necessary and that not everyone could afford her lifestyle, though that wouldn’t stop her from criticising everyone's fashion sense. Of the two Sera was the one who seemed more opposed to sleeping outside of a city, she was obviously more comfortable behind stone wall than beneath tall trees.

I wound up sharing a tent with Sera while we travelled, seeing as she and Vivienne clearly disliked each other and Cassandra was likely to snap and strangle the female elf due to her energetic behaviour. I was the safest possible room mate. I didn’t mind, Sera was less likely to fill my tent with snails and slugs if it was her tent too. She was not a restful sleeper though; I’d woken up several times to find her lying haphazardly in the confined tent, her arms or legs thrown across my own. One time I woke to find her snuggled up to my side gripping my arm like a boa constrictor, it took me twenty minutes to pull free and roll her back onto her own bed roll. At least she didn’t snore, poor Solas had to put up with Varrics rather persistent rumble all night.

By the time we’d reached Haven everyone seemed to have accepted each others company, even it they didn’t like it sometimes. Sera would prank and insult Solas and Vivienne and they would retort with verbal whit and sarcasm. Vivienne would subtly offend Solas, looking down on him as an apostate while he would respond in kind detesting her support for the Circles. Despite both being elves Sera and Solas shared no kinship, Sera seemed to have a issues regarding everything she viewed as being "elfy" and Solas found her to be both disappointing and annoying. And all the while Varric and Cassandra still bickered like siblings. It was becoming quite the balancing act to play peacekeeper between all the small arguments but even so the group worked exceedingly well with each other. Like a dysfunctional family.

….. Really, really dysfunctional.

Once we had reached Haven Cassandra and I made our way straight to the Chantry to speak to the powers that be. Leliana, Josephine and Cullen. Leaving Varric ands Solas to show the new ladies about and get them situated in town.

As we reached the large stone building I found myself relaxing at the now familiar sights  and sounds of Haven. Val Royeaux had been incredible, so big and beautiful and lavish. But the rustic and homey environment that was Haven just seemed so comfortable and fitting.

_It was good to be back._

Josephine was awaiting our arrival in the Chantry hall. Dressed in her usual finery the Antivan women was for once without her clipboard and as soon as she saw us enter she rushed forward.

“It’s good you have returned,” she greeted warmly. “We heard of your encounter.”

“You heard?” Cassandra questioned in surprise, her eyes falling past the ambassador to Leliana and Cullen as the came to join us from where they had been standing further back in the hall having a discussion.

“My agents in the city sent word a head of course,” Leliana said softly, a small smug smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

 “It’s a shame the Templars have abandoned their senses as well as the capital.” Cullen growled angrily.

“At least we made some head way,” I offered pathetically, trying to look on the bright side.”We know how to contact the Mages at least. And we know who’s in control of the Templars.”

“Do we?” Cassandra asked. “Lord Seeker Lucius is not the man I remember.”

“True,” Leliana pondered out loud. “He has taken the order somewhere, but to do what? My reports have been… very odd.”

“We must look into it.” Cullen pressed. “I’m certain not everyone in the order will support the Lord Seeker.”

“Or the Herald could simply go meet the Mages in Redcliffe instead,” suggested Josephine.

Cullen turned on her in disbelief.

“You think the Mage rebellion is more united? It could be ten times worse!”

“Well we need to approach someone soon. At least we actually _have_ an invite from the Mages, we could go and find out what it is they have to say,” I suggested trying to be reasonable.

“No doubt they will want what the have always wanted; support for their cause,” Cassandra said scowling and shaking her head.

“We shouldn’t discount Redcliffe. The Mages may be worth the risk,” Josephine contended firmly standing her ground.

“They are powerful ambassador,” Cassandra agreed. “But more desperate than you realise.”

“So are we,” I injected before looking at Cassandra curiously. “You don’t seem to trust the Mages; do you think they could be planning something else, like a trap?”

“If some among the rebel Mages were responsible for what happened at the conclave….” She trailed of meaningfully and I finally understood her hesitancy.

“The same could be said about the Templars,” Josephine reasoned.

“True enough,” Cullen grudging admitted. "Right now, I’m not certain we have enough influence to approach the order safely.”

I frowned, biting down on my bottom lip as I thought hard. We were in a tough place. It didn’t matter which group we tried to approach either one could be poised to double cross us. We didn’t have enough outside support or forces enough for people to second guess doing so. Nobody would care or bat an eyelash if the Inquisition was wiped out during negotiations with either the Templars or Mages, we just weren’t important enough.

_I hated politics._

Leliana spoke up breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Then the Inquisition needs agents in more places. That’s something you can help us with.”

I startled when I realised her piercing eyes were on looking directly at me.

“Me?” I questioned cautiously.

“Look at the two people you managed to recruit from Val Royeaux,” she replied. I noticed both Cullen and Josephine were watching my reaction with interest as well.

“I didn’t recruit, them they approached us.” I quickly corrected feeling my face heat under their scrutiny.

“They approached _you_ , the Herald of Andraste.” Cassandra pipped in.

 “You are the face of this organisation,” Josephine added brightly. “If you are seen about Thedas helping and doing good it makes the Inquisition look good. The better we look the more support we get and the further our reach.”

I thought that was a lot of pressure for my poor face, but realised I didn’t have much of an option in this. Leliana and Josephine were like unstoppable forces of nature when it came to the Inquisitions public image.

“In the meantime, we should consider other options.” Josephine said before turning and heading for her office.

Cullen and Cassandra both nodded stiffly in agreement and left together, likely heading out to the training grounds. I ran a frustrated hand back through my hair and sighed heavily. After all we’d gone through we’d still barely manage to accomplish anything of great importance. Looking back up I noticed the Spy Master was waiting patiently for me to notice that she hadn’t left.

“There is one other matter,” she said lowly tilting her head and leading me to talk with her in a shadowy corner of the Chantry hall.

“What’s wrong?” I asked curiously.

Leliana jumped straight into her explanation with out preamble.

“Several months ago the Grey Wardens of Ferelden vanished. I sent word to those in Orlais but they have also disappeared.”

“That’s not good,” I murmured recalling what Cassandra had told me about the legendary order. They were a vital part in protecting this world from the Darkspawn and were a powerful group of fighters. For them to have just disappeared was a little unnerving. 

“Indeed,” she agreed. “Ordinarily I wouldn’t even consider they are involved in all this, but the timing is… curious.”

“That does sound… odd,” I hadn’t thought of it in those terms. It was quite the coincidence that an entire order had vanished when all this was already going on. But it seemed so far fetched that the Wardens would get caught up in something that had nothing to do with any Blight.

“The others have disregarded my suspicion but I cannot ignore it. Two days ago my agents in the hinterlands heard of a Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall. If you have the opportunity I would appreciate if you could seek him out, perhaps he could put my mind at ease.”

I looked up at the normally unreadable women, noting that she actually looked a little worried. She must be deeply concerned to come to _me_ with this. Leliana had always been polite but I could never shake the feeling the other women still didn’t trust me. So much time dealing with secrets and shadows had left her slightly paranoid. Everything between us had always been so superficial; she never gave away anything personal about herself. Ever since I’d accidently walking in on her questioning the Maker during my early days in Thedas she’d been even more reserved, like I’d already seen too much. I recalled suddenly that Leliana actually had close ties with the Grey Wardens. She had travelled with The Hero of Ferelden during the last Blight, it was no wonder she was so concerned. 

“But what if he can’t,” I asked hesitantly. If there was some kind of connection between the missing Wardens and everything that was going on what kind of trouble would that mean?

“Then there may be more going on than we thought.” The Spy Master answered darkly.

_Like the demons, Mage rebellion and Chantry weren’t enough._

Leliana gave me a small twist of a smile and made to turn away. I stopped her with a hasty grab at her sleave.

“Wait, Leliana!” 

The icy look she sent my way had me dropping her arm and backing back half a step. I stuttered out fast apology. 

_That had been a very stupid move on my behalf._

“S-sorry I didn’t mean to … um… I know the Wardens hold some importance to you, you’re friends with the Hero of Ferelden and all that and Cassandra told me how he’s been missing, now there’s this….I was just… I mean you’re always so impassive I thought, I mean…. Well…Are you holding up ok?”

I thought I saw her stiffen slightly.

“If you are concerned, I can assure you my allegiance remains with the Inquisition,” she replied coldly in her sweet voice.

“No!” I cried horrified. “That’s not what I meant at all. I know that. I just thought you might be a little upset over the whole situation; some of the Wardens are your friend’s right? I just wanted to make sure you were ok.”

I realised how pathetic and stupid I sounded. Leliana was a spy, a former Bard, an assassin for Christ sake. If anyone had their shit together it would be her. But even people as closed off as her had feelings, it wasn’t healthy to keep it all bottled in.

She regarded me cooly as I fidgeted under her gaze.

“I’m… fine,” she said eventually, sounding slightly hesitant. “I’m worried but I know my friends can take care of themselves. My concern is needed elsewhere.”

With one last curt nod the Spy Master glided away leaving me to feel bewildered and stunned.

Our Spy Master certainly was something else entirely. I wondered if I'd ever be able to get past that hard exterior and know the real Leliana.

 

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Over the next few days I got back into my usual Haven routine of lessons and training while the higher ups debated our next move. I made sure to check in on my friends and companions regularly. Vivienne and Sera had both found places to settle into, Sera having already figured out the best places to steel sweets from and which soldiers she could pelt with snow balls and get away with it while Vivienne was already trying to convince Leliena to redesign her scouts’ uniforms. 

It was nice to see they’d made themselves at home.

On my way from a tedious lesson about Orlessian politics with Josephine to a training session with Cullen one day I was distracted by the appearance of a stranger standing in front of the Chantry doors. I by no means knew everyone in Haven by face but this man was clearly not a local. Dressed in mismatched but solid looking armour that did not seem current with those I’d seen our soldiers in, he stood stiffly and seemed to be trying to catch the eye of any one walking by. Most people being to busy to notice or deliberately ignoring the man as he tried to approach them. His face becoming more resigned and frustrated with each dismissal. I felt bad for the guy and made my way forward. As soon as he noticed my approach he seemed to sag in relief that someone was finally going to talk to him.

“Excuse me,” He said, his voice sounding slightly hoarse but oddly soft. “I have a message for the Inquisition, but I’m having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me.”

“Oh sorry about that,” I said genuinely apologetic. “We can get pretty busy around here. I can pass the message along if you like. What's your name?”

"Cremisius Aclassi," he said snapping to attention like one of Cullens soldiers. "With The Bulls Chargers Mercenary Company. We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra. We've got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast. My company Commander Iron Bull offers this information free of charge."

"Oh," I said with a confused smile, unsure as to why he was passing this along to us. "That's ... nice of him."

The young mercenary smiled indulgently at me and explained further.

"If you'd like to see what the Bulls Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and you can watch us work."

I frowned.

"I don't mean to be rude but I'm a little lost. Why would we come and watch?" 

"Iron Bull wants to work for the Inquisition. Thinks your doing good work." Aclassi explained briskly. "He hopes a demonstration might convince you to hire us."

"Really?" I blinked up at him. "He want's to work for us? Well, that's... flattering I suppose. What's he like, this 'Iron Bull' did you say? That's an interesting name your commander has?"

"Iron Bull? He's one of those Qunari," At my blank look he stared at me and raised an eyebrow, speaking slowly as if to spell it out for me. "The big guys with the horns?"

"Oh! Yes right... Qunari, right." I said trying to sound just ditzy and not completely oblivious. "Is he any good?"

"He leads from the front, he pays well and he's a lot smarter than the last bastard I worked for. Best of all he's professional. We accept contracts with whoever makes the first real offer. This is the first time he's ever gone out of his way to pick a side."

"What does your company offer exactly?" I asked.

"We're loyal, we're tough and we don't break contracts," He replied fiercely. "Ask around Val Royeaux. We have references."

"Sounds impressive. I'll pass on the information," I replied holding my hand out to shake.

He took it, I noticed his hands were finer and a little bit more delicate looking than most men even though they were heavily calloused and rough.

"I appreciate it," he said smiling widely. "We're the best you'll find. Come to the Storm Coast and you can see us in action."

With that he turned and left, heading in the direction of the gates.

It seems we mustn't be doing too bad if we had mercenary groups coming to us asking for work.

 

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 Cullen was waiting for me by the side of the frozen Lake. We’d stopped training near the main encampment as too many people had started to come by a gawk at the Heralds progress. I wasn’t a very good student when I was learning with an audience so we’d move further away but close enough that if there were any problems we could call for help. Though it wasn’t likely we’d need to. Lelianas agents were like my own personal shadows about Haven, I may not always be able to see them but they were always somewhere nearby watching me.

The Commander was standing with his arms crossed, idly looking back towards the camp where his troops trained. He made the impressive figure framed by the snowy frozen landscape, standing proud and strong. Cullen belonged on the cover of a romance novel, a real trashy one with its half naked hero depicted on the front. He smiled warmly when I drew near and I forced my mind back out of the gutter. Ogling Cullen during training was a good way to get my ass handed to me, I knew this through first hand experience. A young man I hadn’t yet met was waiting off to the side, nervously shuffling from foot to foot.

“This is Jim,” Cullen explained with a withering look to the young man in question. “He’s one of the new recruits and he needs a bit of extra work with his combat skills. Cassandra told me of how you two have been sparring. I’d like to see how you’ve improved and thought Jim here might make a more reasonable partner for the time being.”

“Oh,” I looked over to Jim. He was average in size and build with a rather unremarkable face, though he did seem to be sweating an awful lot. “That would be great actually. Cassandra keeps whipping the floor with me. It’d be nice not to go home with a bruised backside for once seeing as she doesn’t hold back at all. It’s nice to meet you Jim, thank you for you help.”

Jim seemed to squeak and mumbled nervously. I looked back to Cullen with a raised eyebrow.

The Commander sighed and shook his head.

“Makers Breath, Jim you can talk man! She’s not going to bite.”

“Y-yes Sir!” Jim barked back snapping a salute. “M-m-m-My La-Lady Herald!” 

I giggled; this guy was more nervous than even I was!

 Cullen shook his head again, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation and mumbling something under his breath about 'The Maker' and 'fools' before taking a deep steadying inhale. Looking back up with his stern Commander face firmly in place.

“Right to it then,” He declared clapping his hands together. “You have five minutes to prep.” 

I got myself ready, making sure to stretch and strapping on the provided training armour that was a little more padded than normal gear. I was pleased to find I could actually easily touch my toes during my warm up. All this walking and fighting had been great for my fitness.

Jim had been given a dulled training sword and round shield while I used my regular staff. I dropped myself into position; left leg slightly forward, knees bent with my staff held loosely in my right hand, my left held up in front of me prepared to counter. Jim waited for Cullen to give him another nod of approval before he gulped loudly and fell into a fighting stance, sword arm raised high.

“Begin!” Cullen called.

Jim rushed me, his position indicating he was prepping for a downward slash however his shield arm was to tense for that to be the case. Recognising the faint I spun to his right under his raised arm and started with a few hits to his side. He grunted and twisted round to follow, swinging his sword in a wide circle and forcing me to scuttle back.

“You advertise that move Jim!” Cullen growled from the sidelines.

The recruited rightened himself and came forwards again this time lunging straight. I blocked the strike, knocking his sword to the side only to be pushed back by a thrust from Jims shield.

“Watch his shield arm Evie,” Cullen called as I staggered back. “It’s as much a danger to you as that sword.”

We continued like that for awhile, scuffling then parting and engaging again with different tactics. Cullen calling out advice and criticism from the sides. Jim slowly seemed to get more comfortable with the prospect of hitting me, particularly after I winded him spectacularly with a bold thrust to his chest, but we never hit hard enough to actually injure. It seemed we were fairly evenly matched in skill, though Jims strength gave him an advantage. He didn’t use it well however and I was mostly able to block or dodge his hits.

Which was why when I did get hurt it was completely by accident.

Jim had taken to many steps back to avoid one of my strikes and had stumbled back onto the icy surface of the lake. He lost his footing for a moment and struggled to regain it; his booted feet slipping and sliding while he panicked and started windmilling his arms. Stepping up the lake side I attempted to grab his arms to help steady him as he struggled, only during the process of desperately grabbing for my shoulder Jim forgot to drop his shield.

The heavy wood and steel item collected me under my chin knocking me sideways so I too slide on the ice. Loosing my balance and throwing my hand out to catch myself I felt something crunch and yelped in sudden pain as I hit the icy surface.

Cullen was by my side in a heartbeat, crouching down and helping me to sit up. 

“Evie? Are you ok? What hurts?”  

“Just my wrist,” I whimpered cradling the appendage in question close to my chest. “I landed on it funny. Shit that hurts!”

“Easy,” he cautioned helping me to stand and turning to face Jim. “Jim, go and get- Jim?”

Looking up I found Jim was swaying on his feet, his face grey.

“Jim are you alright?” I asked concerned.

“Andraste preserve me, I injured her.” He gasped to himself, eyes wide and unseeing. “I hit the Herald… I- I..”

His eyes rolled back into his head and with a finale squeak he fainted.  Cullen and I stared at the fallen man stunned.

“Are you sure he’s right for the army?” I asked the disbelieving Commander. “Perhaps he’ll make a better secretary or assistant or something.”

“Bloody useless... Leave him, we need to get you looked at.” Cullen growled darkly before leading me over to sit on a nearby rock.

He quickly unwrapped the burgundy sash from around his waist and grabbed of handful or two of fresh snow. Wrapping it in the material he pressed the make shift ice pack to my wrist. 

“Hold that there for a moment,” He instructed calmly. “I’m sure whoever’s been following you today will have gone to fetch either Adan or Solas.”

“Not just a pretty face eh Cullen?” I teased, admiring his handy work. “You’re a useful guy to have around.”

The Commander seemed to blush scarlet and I laughed. It was a little mean I knew, but seeing the big burly ex-Templar as flustered and embarrassed as he got made me feel better about my own bashfulness.

“Yes…Well,” he coughed, clearing his throat. “I had to learn from the beginning too you know. I’ve had my share of training related injuries.”

“I can’t picture you being a recruit like Jim here.” I said tilting my head at the downed man.

Cullen snorted.

“I sincerely hope I was never that hopeless. He’s a good kid but I suspect you might be right; he’s not suited to be one of our soldiers. He’s desperate to help our cause though. I’ll have to find something better suited for him…” He trailed off thoughtfully.

“How are the other recruits going?” I asked curiously. “I swear every time I come out here it looks like you’ve added a few more tents.”

“We are growing in numbers, and the men are coming along quite well.” He seemed to be so proud when he spoke of his troupes. “Though are forces are still rather small, we could always use more help.”

“That reminds me!” I suddenly jumped, recalling my talk with Cremisius Aclassi outside the Chantry.

 I quickly told Cullen about the man and the offer from The Bulls Chargers. Cullen seemed to mull it over in his head.

“Bringing in a seasoned mercenary group might not be a bad idea, I’m sure we sent Scout Harding out the storm Coast recently as well so it’s good timing. I’ll speak to the others about this and see what they have to say.”

“That man said his leader was a Qunari, what exactly is a Qunari Cullen?”

The blonde man looked at me in obvious surprise and disbelief.

“You don’t know what the Qunari are?”

“Another world remember?” I said meaningfully. “Both Cassandra and Varric have mentioned them before but I just assumed they were another group of people like the Tevinters or Antivans. But Aclassi mentioned horns so now I’m not so sure. I’m guessing they aren’t human.”

“My apologies,” Cullen said quickly. “It’s so easy to forget you didn’t grow up in this… land. No they aren’t human, it’s strange that you do not know of them when you knew about elves and dwarfs before you came here.”

I shrugged and explained vaguely.

 “Elves and dwarfs are a common find in many fantasy stories or games. They’re like staples in any good story but each story has its own version or rules about them so its not consistent. Apart from elves have pointy ears and dwarves are short of course, that's a given. But I’ve never heard of any Qunari before.”

“They are a fierce race,” Cullen explained slowly. “Strong and disciplined. They are also very private and to be honest we don't know as much of their culture and customs and we'd like. They live under the rule of the Qun which is almost like a religion of sorts buts its all very complex. I saw a lot of them from my time in Kirkwall but even so they keep to themselves. They are very practical and blunt, emotional attachments hold no place in the Qun nor does personal gain. Every thing is done for the benefit of the Qun and the betterment of their people. They believe the rest of us to be beneath them and as such intend to overrun us by force one of theses days. So far however they haven't managed to get past Tevinter, they've been fighting a bloody war with the Imperium for centauries."

"So what's one doing leading a mercenary company out of Orlais?" I puzzled.

"He's likely Tal Vashoth." Cullen replied, wordlessly repositioning the ice pack on my wrist for me. "Outcasts who turn their backs on the Qun. Most end up as little more than volatile beasts, high on their own freedom from the restrictions of the Qun and are hunted down as such. However there are those who manage to keep themselves restrained and become either labourers or mercs for a living. Because of their build the Qunari are well suited to that kind of work."

I scowled thoughtfully. If the Qunari were so strict I wondered what this Mercenary Commander would be like.

"Evelyn?"

Both Cullen and I looked up at the voice of the knew comer.

"Solas," I greeted with a bright smile, happy that it was the Mage coming to my aid and not Adan. I didn't want to deal with the old mans chastising or worse his teasing.

"Thank you for coming Solas," Cullen said gratefully.

The elf sent a polite nod in the other man direction.

"Commander." he said smoothly, looking over to the passed out recruit then to my iced wrist before turning his blue gaze to my face. "Do I want to know what happened here?"

"I fell over and Jim fainted," I summed up simply and held up my injured arm. "Cullen gave me first aid."

"So I see," Solas said sighing softly. He squatted down in front of where I sat and reached out his hand, cupping my chin gently and tipping my head back. "And this?"

I winced, I'd forgotten about the blow I took from Jims shield.

"Occupational hazard?" I offered cautiously.

Solas frowned, not amused.

Cullen snorted. _At least he thought I was funny_.

"I'm alright, really." I said to the elf. "I knew there was a chance I'd get hurt if I learnt to fight. This is nothing compared to what could happen out on the field. I just need to get better at taking hits that's all."

He said nothing and continued to scowl. Taking the ice from my wrist his own hands began to glow a pale mint green as he ran magic over the swollen wrist.

"Its a bad sprain," he said eventually. "Best if I heal it slowly over a few days, though it will mean no training with it until then. Otherwise you may risk a permanent injury."

I looked over to Cullen sadly.

"I'm sorry Cullen." 

He smiled reassuringly. "Don't fret Evie, we can go through other things during your training that don't require combat."

I brightened at the prospect. I enjoyed Cullens company, beneath all the armour and muscle I suspected the Commander to be a secret dork.

_Which was really adorable._

"Come da'len" Solas said, easily helping me to stand. "Lets get you fixed up."

I let the Mage lead me back towards his quarters and sent Cullen a parting wave and smile over my shoulder.

"So," I said to Solas. "Ever been to the storm Coast?"

 

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Magnificent Creatures in Dreary Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you afraid of him Herald?”
> 
> Evie heads to the Storm Coast to hire a certain band of mercenaries and find more than she bargains for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been sticking with this story and those who have liked or bookmarked, it means so much.  
> Ladies and Gents I can finally announce the arrival of The Iron Bull. :)  
> I hope you enjoy.

## Magnificent creatures in Dreary Rain ##

 

Turns out Fereldens were very literal when naming there regions, and the Storm Coast was more than living up to its name.

The moment we had reached to Storm Coast it had begun raining, a continuous unrelenting down pour of chilly water and vicious wind. And it hadn’t stopped, not even a little. Our thick travel cloaks clung heavily to each of us weighing down on our brisk pace and making us all feel miserable and sluggish. The incessant patter of rain on my hood was slowly driving me insane, though admittedly the noise did have the side benefit of being almost loud enough to drown out Varrics grumblings.

“Should have stayed back in Haven with the Iron Lady,” he grouched from beside me before, cursing as he slipped yet again on a patch of slick mud.

I was currently thinking the same thing myself. When I’d asked Madame Vivienne if she would like to join in the short trip she had bit out a harsh laugh and politely declined. Now I knew why.

It took us three long hours to reach the Inquisition camp, we had to be extra cautious as our horses continually sank into thick mud or skidded on slick stones even when travelling the main roads. Eventually we had been forced to dismount and walk beside the poor animals for all of our safety. I felt terrible for poor Falcon and the other horses, they had little more than the saddle blankets and our packs to shelter them from the rain. Apparently horses didn’t wear rain coats.

The situation in the Storm Coast did little to lift our moods on our arrival. Scout Harding had been waiting for our party with grim news, we were missing scouts and soldiers believed to have fallen victim to a group of local bandits who had been giving the Inquisition grief. We had plans to search for them once we met up with The Bulls Chargers. I was curious and more than a little wary of the mercenary groups intentions as was Leliana, which was why she was sending us instead of a regular emissary. After I had returned from Val Royeaux with two new Inquisition agents both with impressive skill and variety of useful connections she had declared I had the makings of an excellent recruitment officer.

I still couldn’t figure out if she was joking or not. The Spy Master was difficult to read.

While Aclassi hadn’t given us an exact  place to meet our agents in the area had managed to pin down the mercenary groups position only a short distance from the camp site. After a brief rest and something to eat Cassandra, Solas, Varric, Sera and I made sure we were well equipped with what we may need and left the horses and our packs with Hardings men. We set out to find the mercenaries, making the short trip to the rocky shore front through the sparse forest of prickly birch and pine trees. Slipping and swearing we gradually made our way to a dreary looking gritty beach littered with washed up long boats and sharp looking rocks jutting out from the ground.

The Bulls Chargers weren’t exactly hard to miss.

The sound of a fierce fight was our first indicator, the clash of steel and some seriously loud bellowing could hardly be mistaken for anything else as it echoed across the desolate coast line. After clearing a bend in the surrounding cliff face the fight came into view, figures rushing and slashing at each other with vigor shedding blood across the pebbled beach and the odd projectile being thrown or shot at opponents. I even caught the glimpse of what I thought was a lightning or fire spell in the mix. There were at least thirty people involved, most likely more given how they were rushing about.

And right in the center of it all towered the biggest person I’d ever seen, standing head and shoulders taller than anyone else on the battle field and more than twice as wide. His skin glistened with a strange grey/silver colour in the down pour and a set of impressive bull like horns twisted up from his skull.

“That must be them,” Cassandra declared dryly.

I nodded numbly, throat going dry as the monstrous man calmly snatched a rushing opponent and lifted him bodily of the ground with one hand before he casually tossed him to the side. His boisterous booming laugh could be heard even over the harsh sounds of battle and the crash of waves.

_Holy shit he was massive! Were all Qunari like that? If so how was it all of Thedas hadn’t been conquered already?_

“Should we lend a hand?” Quipped Varric as we drew closer.

“Probably,” I offered shaking myself out of my stunned stupor. _It would be the friendly thing to do right?_

“Which ones are the baddies,” Sera asked her bow already drawn and arrow notched, just waiting for a target.

“Our contact stated they had word of Tevinter mercenaries did they not,” Solas offered. “I’d say it’s safe to assume they would be the offending party.”

“And which ones are they?” I asked unable to tell the difference between the two groups at this stage, all I could see was a flurry of people attacking each other. Aside from the large Qunari who was currently swinging around a massive two handed war axe like it was as light as ribbon. _Him_ I could distinguish from the crowd. 

“Just aim for the ones who try and hit you first Sunshine,” Varric said.

Cassandra made her trade mark sound of disgust from the back of her throat and rolled her eyes.

“Come on,” she growled starting forward at a quick jog and drawing her sword. “Stay close Evelyn.”

I didn’t bother to respond and followed close at her heals. It went without saying that I would stick close to her, the others in our group all preferred ranged attacks whereas Cassandra and I would be using sword and staff. I wasn’t going into a fight without someone I knew and trusted nearby.

Solas’s familiar protection barrier settled over us moments before we reached the fray, his timing as perfect as always. With a shout Cassandra found and came down on her first opponent; a man in muddy brown leathers and a frightfully extravagant purple tunic wielding two large curved blades. She caught his strike on her shield with ease and swung her sword at his belly. As she did a second man bearing a mace and small round shield tried to flank her. Which was when I stepped in.

I always found it strange that they never seemed to realise I was there, Cassandras empowering and intimidating aura always seemed to lure the attackers straight to her. Leaving me free to slip into the fight and catch my targets unaware. 

_Strange, but useful._

I swung my staff into the mace wielding mans stomach causing him to double over with a grunt, dancing around him I prepared to follow through with a knock-out blow to the back of his head only to feel something grab hold of the back of my jacket and pull me back sharply and fling me around me with force enough to send me sprawling head first on the gravely damp beach.

I gasped, spitting out grit and sand from my mouth. Feeling a shadow falling over me and an unpleasant tingle at the back of my neck I rolled to the side in time to avoid a heavy swing from a long sword which instead buried itself an inch from my shoulder and showered me in sand when it was quickly raised again. I stared up to the stocky bearded man above me, trying to calculate what direction in which to move when a slender dark haired figure sliced between us, two blood stained daggers gripped in her hands. 

In a move as vicious as it was graceful the daggers were plunged deep into either side of the mans clavicle and torn across the measure of his chest. Blood bubbled from his lips and his sword fell from stunned fingers as he gripped at the wounds in panic before falling to the ground and choking on his own blood. 

The slender women turned to face me, spattered with the dying mans blood she licked her lips and smiled snidely down at me.

“On your feet shem,” the elf sneered, her accent heavy. “Wouldn’t want you trampled.”

Wordlessly I quickly struggled to my feet and reclaimed my staff which had clattered nearby. By the time I had the women had already disappeared back into the fight. 

 _Don’t_ , I told myself firmly _. Don’t start shaking, don’t dwell on the close call or all that blood. Just get back into fight mode before someone else tries to stab you._

With a calming breath I did just that, jumping back from a clash between two men I quickly searched for Cassandra finding my path to her blocked by more fighting pairs. I frowned stifling a curse as I was forced to turn about and circle back around the long way behind a scuttled row boat.  Doing so I found myself running into two archers who must have been hanging back from the main fight. I hesitated not knowing if these guys were part of the Tevinter group or The Bulls Chargers. Both men were briefly taken back by my presence then came to their senses and raised their bows, arrows pointing at my chest.

_Bad guys then._

With a cry one of the men crumpled to the ground an arrow shaft sticking from his back, the other archer fired towards me but was distracted by his fallen companion and aimed wide allowing me the opportunity to rush in low. With I shout I thrust my staff forward tangling it between bow and string and using it to wrench his weapon from his hands with an elegant twirl and twist of my staff. When he reached for a dagger at his waist I spun the head of my staff into his hand as hard as possible, crushing the delicate bones of his hand. The man screamed something harsh in a language I didn’t understand. His face red twisted with anger he abandoned the use of weapons and lunged towards me both arms out stretched, given he had at least 15 pounds and a foot of height on me even with a fractured hand he had the upper hand.

I ducked down out of his reach and moved behind him, when he spun back round swiping wildly with his arm out stretched I swung a two handed blow to the back of his calve. His leg buckled slightly and he swore again stumbling to one knee. Giving me the perfect opening.

“Sorry about this mate,” I said sending the man an apologetic look before a knocked him over the head. His eyes rolled back and he fell forward out cold.

Turning back to the fight I noticed it seemed to have diminished to a large group of about 15 people cornering two remaining men, seeing as Cassandra was standing back cleaning off her sword and the large Qunari was idling nearby toeing fallen bodies I suspected we were on the winning side. I jogged up to Cassandra and winced at the glare she sent my way.

“I know,” I said quickly and attempted to defend myself. “I didn’t stay close. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it I was pulled away. Literally.”

She just growled and stared darkly sheathing her sword with more force than necessary. The Seeker looked towards where the big horned man was standing. As we watched he turned around to look at the skirmishing party that seemed to have finished of the last two Tevinter men. He called out in a deep booming voice full of authority that demanded to be obeyed.

“Chargers! Stand down,” the large man swaggered over to the group, slow and leisurely. He stopped just before a familiar figure who had waded out from the small crowd. “Krem, how’d we do?”

“Five to six wounded chief. No dead.” With his hands clasped behind his back Aclassi replied smartly with military purpose.

“That’s what I like to hear,” the Qunari replied. “Let the throat cutters finish up then break out the casks.”

Aclassi nodded and turned around to undertake his orders. Cassandra spoke from beside me.

“They are good, fought well together. Efficient and well managed for such a diverse group. No deaths in fight where they were outnumbered. I am impressed. The Bulls Chargers would make and excellent addition to our forces,” she sounded almost awestruck. I was more impressed that she was able to notice so much during the fight. I couldn’t even tell who the Tevinters were right up until they tried to kill us.

“You should talk to him, organise a deal.”

“Me!” I choked turning to Cassandra in disbelief. “Talk to him?!”

She raised an eyebrow and looked between me and the large man who was standing arms crossed over his immense chest as he watched him men work, completely unfazed by the fact he was covered in blood spatter and standing in front a decapitated man’s body.

“Are you afraid of him Herald?” Cassandra asked dryly, I could swear she was teasing me.

“No!”

_Absolutely, the guy was massive! And he had horns, friggin’ horns for Christ’s sake!_

“I’m hardly qualified to be making deals with mercenaries” I said trying to wheedle my way out of it.

“It does not require a qualification to hire a band of fighters Evelyn,” Cassandra replied. “You can handle it. You’re good with people, he will likely respond better to you talking with him than me.”

“Varrics a people person,” I countered desperately. “Why can’t he do it?”

Cassandra just sent me a look.

I sighed, of course the Seeker wouldn’t trust Varric to bargain for the Inquisition. Stupid of me to suggest it really.

“Fine,” I groused shoulders slumping in defeat. “But please stick close, I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”

_Or get my head loped off._

Cassandras lips twisted into a small smile and she nodded in assent. 

I rolled my shoulders back and tried to look confident as I moved towards the huge grey man. As he turned to watch our approach and I got a better look at him. He was even bigger up close, muscles bulging off every appendage under his strange pale grey skin. He wasn’t wearing a shirt either, just a pair of large billowing striped pants and a leather brace that attached across a portion of his chest to cover and protect his left shoulder which left large expanses of skin to ogle. There was no doubt this man was a seasoned fighter, scars seem to cover most parts of his body some old and faded, some puckered and raised or deep and grooved. Even his face bore several marks of battle that stood out against the short stubble of his dark beard and along his sharp jaw line. Three deep grooves disappeared beneath an impressively crafted eye-patch seemingly made of dark steel that covered his left eye and was attached around the base of his right horn. The top of his head looked almost knotted and gnarled where the horns protruded from his thick skin.

 _Whoa,_ we had nothing like this guy on earth. I was torn between curiosity and fear.

_Would it be rude if I asked to touch his horns?_

His good eye watched us thoughtfully, it was a strange muted green in colour and there was a sharpness to his gaze that gave me the impression this man didn’t miss much even with only one working eye.

“So you’re with the Inquisition, huh.” it wasn’t so much a question as it was him thinking out loud. “Glad you could make it. Come on have a seat, drinks are coming.”

“You must be The Iron Bull,” I said hesitantly.

“Yeah, the horns usually give it away,” he replied.

“I’ll bet,” I said breathlessly without thought. “They’re…. Impressive.”

He laughed at my slip up and I flushed.

“I take it you’ve never seen a Qunari before,” he chuckled seeming to enjoy my embarrassment.

“Not before today,” I answered offering a small shy smile and letting my relentless curiosity get the better of me. “Are all Qunari as big as you?”

“Qunari are big by nature, compared to you humans at any rate. Even by our standards I’m considered _big.”_ He drew out the last word then laughed heartily when my eyes went wide in understanding.

“That’s not what I- oh god, no, I didn’t mean…. Shit,” I stuttered flustered and embarrassed beyond measure at the double meaning.

He laughed some more.

“Sure you didn’t,” The Iron Bull winked at me, or at least I think he tried to. He only had one eye to work with after all. 

I scowled at him.

“Moving on I think,” I said coughing awkwardly and held out my hand for him to shake. “I’m Evie Treval. I’m… well I’m with the Inquisition.”

He took my hand in his own, his large hand was tough with callouses and his thick sausage like fingers ended in blunt thick nails. As we shook his grip firm was but surprisingly gentle seeing as he could have easily crushed my tiny hand and wrist in one massive meaty fist. 

“I know who you are,” he replied eyeing me appraisingly before gesturing for me to follow him as he walked towards a cluster of large rocks.

I followed looking back only to confirm that Cassandra was still nearby and watching my back. Iron Bull made himself comfortable on one of the rocks, I opted to stand. At least now I had a little height on him he seemed slightly less intimidating. Only slightly but I would take what I could get.

“I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi my Lieutenant.” The big man gesture as his second approached us.

“Good to see you again,” Aclassi said nodding his head respectfully.

“You to,” I answered warmly. Aclassi then turned to his boss.

“Throat cutters are done Chief,” he reported. I winced thinking of the poor guy I’d knocked out. I hadn’t expected him to be finished off like that. I would have let him go but it wasn’t my call to make this time.

“Already,” The Iron Bull replied not at all bothered as he spoke sternly to the other man. “Have them check again. I don’t want any of them Tevinter bastards getting away. No offense Krem.”

“None taken. At least a bastard knows who his mother is, gives him one up on you Qunari.” His lieutenant drawled as he walked away.

I was taken aback by the display of disrespect, either he let his men get away with such blatant impertinence or they were close enough that they traded insults like siblings. Given the way The Iron Bulls eyes lit up and his scarred mouth twisted into a happy smirk I was betting on the later. He turned back to me and noticed my thoughtful look, smiling gleefully.

“So, you’ve seen us fight. We’re expensive but were worth it.” He chuckled. “And I’m certain the Inquisition can afford us.”

Straight to the important point then; money.

I raise an eyebrow and crossed my arms trying to look firm and in charge. We were still a budding organisation and the less we could get away paying for the better.

“And how much is this going to cost me? If I agree of course.” I added hastily. I didn’t want to look too eager.

“Won’t cost you anything personally, unless you want to buy drinks later. Your ambassador, what’s her name… Josephine! We’ll go through her, get the payments set up. Gold takes care of itself don’t worry about that,” he placated almost soothingly. “All that matters is we’re worth it.”

“Your company certainly seem like a force to be reckoned with,” I agreed watching as his men made themselves comfortable on the beach and tended to their injuries. 

“They are but you’re not just getting the boys, you’re getting me. I noticed you fighting out there Herald, you’re not bad with that stick but you’re still green, very green. You need a front line bodyguard, I’m your man.” He stood up to saunter past me and stand in the shallow waters ignoring the fact his boots were getting wet. “Demons, dragons the bigger the better. And there’s one other thing. Might be useful, might piss you off.”

I looked at him expectantly my curiosity piqued, “Go on, I’m listening.”

He looked at me levelly, watching my reaction as he spoke, “Ever hear of the Ben Hassrath?”

I thought for a moment, mentally going back through all my lessons then shook my head.

“No, sorry.”

“It’s a Qunari order, they handle information; loyalties, security all of it. Spies basically…. or well, we’re spies,” he finished with a meaningful look.

I gaped in understanding feeling my eyes widen, distantly aware that Cassandra had taken her sword out and was holding it loosely by her side, steely gaze trained on The Iron Bull.

“The Ben Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere” he explained quickly but calmly. “I’ve been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge and send reports on what’s happening. But I also get reports from Ben Hassrath agents from all over Orlais. You sign me on I’ll share them with your people.”

I was stunned. Logically of course other countries would be concerned about what was happening with the Breach, sending someone to the Inquisition to gather information made perfect sense in such a time of conflict which would inevitably effect everywhere in Thedas. And it explained why he deliberately sought us out for work. What didn’t make sense was why he’d outright admit that he was going to deliberately infiltrate our ranks and spy on us!

“Wait,” I finally spluttered, confused and off put by what he’d said. “So you’re a spy for the Qunari?... you know you’re not supposed to advertise that right?”

“Whatever happened at that Conclave thing was bad,” he replied calmly. “Someone needs to get that Breach closed. So whatever I am I’m on your side.”

“I still don’t get it,” I pondered aloud. “Why admit to being a spy? I mean I’m glad you were honest, I think, but you could have just as easily hid what you are.”

“From something called the Inquisition,” he laughed darkly. “I’d have been tipped sooner or later. Better you hear it right out front from me.”

“And you’ll be sending information on us back to the Qunari?” I questioned in disbelief.

_Why would we let him do that? What if Information about me and Earth came to light?_

“Just enough to keep my superiors happy, nothing that will compromise your operation,” he pacified. “The Qunari want to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damn world from falling apart. You let me send word of what you’re doing it’ll put some minds at ease. That’s good for anyone.”

Again what he said made sense, it just felt so strange for an undercover spy to be so forth right about his intentions. He was either incredibly stupid or an absolute genius. Either way I didn’t know if it was safe to trust him or if his aid and that of his company was worth the risk. We were by no means enemies with the Qunari but I’d been warned of his warrior races bid for eventual domination, who knew what they would do with the information he sent off. 

“What about what we get out this? What kind of information will you pass on?” I asked.

“Enemy movements, suspicious activity, intriguing gossip.” The Iron bull listed. “It’s a bit of everything. Alone their not much but if your spy masters worth a damn she can put em’ to good use.”

“She?” I questioned suspiciously.

He chuckled ruefully, like a kid caught sneaking a peak at his Christmas present a day early. “I did a little research. Plus I’ve always had a weakness for red heads.”

I was finding it hard to pin this guy down, one moment he was fierce warrior spy all deadly and mysterious, then next he was a big dopey innuendo dropping thug. _Did we want this kind of trouble in the Inquisition?_

I thought hard. It would be safer, not to mention cheaper, to just turn him away. But something was telling me I would want this man on our side. If he didn’t join the Qunari would only send someone else less upfront to infiltrate us. At least this way we could monitor and control what was reported back. Though they’re was the chance he was playing me for a fool….

_‘It all depends on what kind of person I would want to be….’_

I looked up at the Iron Bull and smiled brightly at him.

“The Inquisition would be happy to hire you Iron Bull. You and your men.”

He smiled triumphantly and inclined his head politely in acknowledgement, when he opened his mouth to speak I held up a hand to stop him from replying.

“Wait a moment buddy, before you say anything we need some ground rules.” I looked up at him with a hard gaze, placing my hands on my hips trying to look stern and unyielding, feeling like a Chihuahua barking at a Doberman. “Before you send off your reports Leliana will look over them, when she’s not happy with something she gets to change it if not it doesn’t get sent. You don’t’ like then you leave, end of story. I’d like to trust you Iron Bull but I need to protect the Inquisition. You do anything to risk the people in it or the ones we are trying to protect, if you are lying to us and this is some kind of trick so help me I will …. I will feed you to Cassandra! Got it?”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he replied, the large grin spreading across his face was a mix between amusement and approval.

“Good,” I said happily changing back to warm and smiley Evie, I wasn’t good at being stern Evie. “Then I welcome you and your men to the Inquisition, we’re glad to have you.”

Bull looked over his shoulder and called out to his men.

“Krem! Tell the men to finish drinking on the road. The Chargers just got hired!”

“What about the casks chief?” His lieutenant whined. “We just opened them up… with axes.”

“Find some way to seal them, you’re from Tevinter right? Try blood magic.” The Iron Bull smiled at his own joke.

“There’s no need for such extremes,” I said inserting myself between their banter. “If you’d like you can move your crew to the Inquisition camp just up the hill, you are a part of it now after all. And I’m sure the men and women stationed there would be happy to share in some drink if you’d be kind enough. We aren’t staying here long. Your men can rest safely and them we can head back to Haven together. If you’d like of course.”

Krem looked at his boss hopefully, “We could use the rest chief.”

The mercenary captain nodded thoughtfully, “Alright, it’s better than wasting good drink. Just keep the men reigned in Krem, don’t want to be giving the good people of the Inquisition the wrong idea on our first night.”

Krem nodded and went to inform his comrades.

I looked towards where Solas, Varric and Sera where idling nearby and took note of the suns position in the sky.

“I suppose we should get moving soon,” I said to Cassandra before turning back to the Iron Bull. “Ask for Scout Harding at the camp, she knows we were going to try and recruit you and will set you up with what you might need.”

He looked at us questioningly.

“Where are you going off to?”

“We had some of our men go missing in the area, Harding had reports of a group of bandits that may be responsible but we’re not sure. We thought we would take a look around for our guys while we still had light and pick up the trail again tomorrow,” I explained solemnly the missing men weighing down on my conscious.

The huge man grunted thoughtfully.

“Give me a moment to tell my boys, I’ll be right with you.”

“You want to come?” I asked sending Cassandra a cautious look. The Seeker still seemed suspicious but content to let the Qunari join us.

“You need a bodyguard remember,” he said with a smirk and possibly another one eyed wink. “If I’m going to be travelling with and protecting you all I might as well start getting to know how you work right?”

“Um…. I guess,” I said hesitantly. The huge man still intimidated me.

“Excellent,” he gave me a clap on the shoulder which almost sent me to the ground. “Be right back.”

We watched the broad expanses of the Iron Bulls scar ridden back as he walked away, my stomach was twisting with nerves and worry.

“Did I do the right thing?” I eventually asked Cassandra while we made our way back to the others.

“I suppose we shall see,” she replied. “At least we know to be wary of him and can take precautions. Better to have him on our side than against us.”

“And you won’t be the only decent fighter on the front lines anymore,” I added.

She smiled wryly. 

“That will be nice for a change, having an extra set of eyes watching out for you certainly will help ease my stresses. Even if it is only the one eye.”

 

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We set out along the coast keeping a close eye out for any signs of Inquisition men as well as bandits or smugglers which were known to frequent the area. Our groups usual easy banter slightly strained by the presence if our newest member. Conversation was polite and superficial at first while we got to know The Iron Bull, apart from Sera who didn’t do polite and dived straight into asking Bull what Qunari women were like. I tuned out most of the conversation in self-defense of my sanity when talk became too detailed, Sera spent the next half hour looking dreamily into the sky and giggling to herself. For the most part Bull seemed like a nice enough guy, he was big and loud but very open and honest about himself for a spy and was easy to laugh and joke. He seemed to get along well and find common ground with everybody.

 Everybody except Solas that is.

The elven apostate seemed to have no problem with displaying his own distrust of the Qunaris background as evidenced by their very first conversation.

 “I understand that among your people you are... what is the term?” He had asked the other man.

“Ben-Hassrath,” Bulls reply was quick and unreserved. “Secret police. Spies, basically.” 

The elf had scowled at Iron Bull in distaste.

“You spied upon your own people.” 

“That so different from Orlais or Ferelden? They have all kinds of people policing them.” The Qunari defended reasonably.

“What they say and do, yes. Not what they think.” Solas had snapped back while my brow furrowed in confusion and I sent The Iron Bull a nervous glance.

_What did the Mage mean by that? Could Qunari spy on peoples minds?_

“What you think _is_ what you say and do,” Bull countered his voice turning into a rumbling almost growl.

“No,” Solas replied shaking his head sadly. “Even the lowliest peasant may find freedom in the safety of their thoughts. You take even that.” 

Things became slightly stand offish between the two from then on, though it was mostly from Solas’s end, Bull seemed to at least try to be a little courteous but would often be shut down by the sullen elf for his attempts. When I confronted Solas about his cold attitude he explained a little about what he knew of Qunari culture and the Qun. According to Solas those under the Qun became nothing more than mindless drones stripped of all individually and forced to fit into required rolls in their community for the betterment of the Qun. The Qunari wanted to conquer the world and bring everyone in it under the control of the Qun, ridding Thedas of all free will. It also didn’t help that they believed all magic to be unnatural and treated Mages awfully. Keeping them as caged beasts’ tethered constantly to a handler, having had their mouths sown shut.

 _That image was sure to give me nightmares_. 

“Do not let your guard down around him Evelyn,” he had urged. “He may appear friendly but it could easily be a ruse to gain your trust. The Iron Bull is a servant of the Qun first and foremost, no matter how he presents himself.”

The conversation did little to settle the doubts now circling in my head about recruiting The Bulls Chargers. As we walked I found myself trying to distance myself from the Qunari as much as possible, pretending to focus on my surroundings.

Which was when I got the greatest thrill of my life so far.

While trekking across the grim shoreline a distant grumble had me looking up head. The beach was overcast and the thick rain fall made it difficult to see to far in any direction, but I could make out blurred figures up ahead and small bursts of static violet light.

“What’s that?” I asked straining my eyes and pointing in the direction of the blurry images.

The others all stopped and looked. Sera was the first to respond her eyes going round like saucers.

“No frigg’n way! I’m not missing this.” She whispered before shooting forward like a rabbit.

Before I could stop her Bull let out this strange growling rumble from his chest his face alight with excitement.

“Atashi…” he all but purred before taking off after the elf.

“What the-?” I looked at my remaining companions in confusion. Both Varric and Cassandra looked as puzzled as I felt. Our eyes obviously not as good as the elves or Qunari. While Solas smiled softly at me.

“You may want to follow them da’len. I suspect you will not want to miss this.”

I frowned at the elf but listened to his advice without question. Running after Sera and Bull and catching up to the pair as when they stopped and crouched behind an old scuttled rowboat. Panting for breath I started to question the two about what the hell they were doing when I looked up and my throat ran dry.

Because up ahead, standing barely a yards length away, was a dragon.

A real live honest to goodness dragon.

_A fucking Dragon!_

It was huge, bigger than  bus with a lean strong body and long thick tail. Four strong legs ended in brutally talon-ed feet capable of cutting through a tree trunk. From behind its shoulders sprouted a pair of large bat like leathery wings that spanned out to more than four times the width of its body. Covered in shining scales that varied in colour from dark midnight blue to a cloudy pale blue grey and interrupted by violent slashes of mustard yellow patches reminding me of poisonous frogs seen on the discovery channel. And it was fighting, snapping and clawing at a huge humanoid creature at least twice the size of Iron Bull but i could even focus on the other creature my gaze constantly falling back to the dragon.

_A goddamn motherfucking Dragon!_

And it was beautiful. Like in the way a volcano or storm could be beautiful. Deadly and powerful but absolutely breath taking with its magnificence.

And it was real. I felt like crying.

All the time I’d spent reading fantasies and day dreaming about creatures such as these but knowing the  pointlessness of it all. Because they weren’t real. They were fiction, an idea in someone head that could never be touched. No matter how much I could long for it magic and monsters didn’t exist.

But here I was, standing in front of a living breathing beast of legend and fiction.

For all the horrible things I'd seen in this world this moment would forever be burned into my mind, reminding me that this place could be as wonderful as it was terrifying.

When large humanoid thing decided to pick up a large rock and throw it at the dragon the beast responded by opening its huge more and belching out a ball of crackling violet energy. I stared on in awe.

_It could shoot lightning too?!_

"Ok, that’s bad ass!" Bull crowed. 

Sera giggled manically from his side, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Wow! we can watch yeah?"

I nodded enthusiastically, unable to speak as the dragon leap briefly into the air to land behind the other creature and snap at its calf. For something so big it moves so fluidly.

"Whats that other thing?" I asked Bull quietly. 

"Giant," he answered. "They're not to bright, this one is particularly stupid to challenge a high dragon."

"Giant.. right." I looked at the creature more closely, its skin looked tough and mottled, its head and shoulders bathed in a greasy black tangled mane of hair... or was it fur. And it had a set of long tusks protruding from its mouth like an elephants. It was kind of hideous.

"I want to get closer!" Sera hissed making a dash to clear the boat we were taking cover behind. Bull caught her easily and pulled her back but the movement caught the dragons attention. With a disgruntled roar and flap of its wings it took to the sky circling once and soaring over head briefly before turning about and flying out towards the ocean.

"Aww," Sera whined.

"You scared it off!" Bull chastised, obviously disappointed.

I stood and walked down the beach, trying to keep the dragon in sight as it flew away, not wanting to miss a moment of the creatures magnificence.

"Wow...." I breathed softly.

_I wonder if there was a way I could tame one....? I could call it Toothless!_

 "Get Down!"

Something big and muscled dived into my side, taking my feet out from under me. As I fell a set of massive arms wrapped around and cradled me as their owner twisted us into a safe combat roll. I wound up lying dazed but unharmed on the beach with The Iron bull crouch protectively over me, his eye trained on the giant who was stamping its feet and howling in our direction. Looking back I noticed a large boulder resting in a small crater where I had just stood.

_Ooops, note to self; Don't ignore giants._

"Thanks Bull. Sorry I should have been paying attention." I offered sheepishly to my savior.

"Don't mention it," he said grinning. "Consider it another demonstration of what you'll be paying me for."

"Um, ok then. Great. Thank you for that," I babbled awkwardly and quickly got myself out from under the big guy. He was handy to have around, but I still didn't want him to get to close. I had too many secrets I needed to hide from the world that he couldn't be allowed to find out.

The others had finally caught up to us and were helping Sera engage the giant. Varric firing bolts at the creatures eyes while Solas bound one of it's legs in ice.

"Well it might not be a high dragon, but it'll do." Bull said from my side, pulling out his battle axe with an eager grin on his face.

I watched him charge into the fight in confusion something he said playing on the edge of my mind.

Then I realised what it was that was bothering me.

"Wait! You wanted to kill it!" I called to his retreating back in horror. ""But it was so awesome!!! Why would you want to kill the dragon?!"

He turned back for a brief moment and smiled hungrily. 

"For the same reason I enjoying killing anything," He yelled back. "For the thrill of it!"

Then he ran back to join Cassandra in hacking away at the giants legs until it fell over. I watched on in stunned silence as the Iron Bull jumped onto the downed creatures chest and  roared in challenge at the giant before burying his axe in it head.

_And I'd thought having Sera join was inviting trouble to the Inquisition. Well done Evie, well done._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally love The Iron Bull, his romance option is.... well Hot!. Unfortunately Evie just doesn't seem to be someone he'd fall in love with. She lacks a bit of fire and fight that I think his partner needs. Plus I just can't be responsible for coming between the perfect pair that is him and Dorian. Even if it is just fiction.  
> Bit of drama coming up next chapter. Hopefully I can get it out soon.


	22. The Damsel...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You noticed that huh?”
> 
> Evie and Bull have a heart to heart and the hunt for the missing Inquisition men continues with drastic consequences......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning up ahead for some not so nice situations and bad language, Hope I don't offend anyone.  
> Chapter feels a little all over the place but please bear with, I wanted to get something out today and couldn't find a way to make it really flow.  
> ***Apologies' to anybody re-reading this, I wasn't happy about the clunky-ness of this chapter after I posted it. So I decided to take out its ending and put it in the next chapter so it ran a bit smoother. Sorry for any bother but I just wasn't happy with it. Probably should have waited to post it originally but I felt I needed to get something out***  
> In saying that I hope you enjoy.

## The Damsel.... ##

 

It was almost sunset by the time we found any sign of the missing scouts. And what we found wasn't good.

After finishing off the giant on the beach our party had decided to hike back  into the forest and away from the coastline, circling back towards the Inquisition camp. During the walk we'd come across a small group of bandits loitering around a dilapidated house that sat on the edge of a cliff over looking the sea. The bandits attacked without pause and within moments two lay dead by sword and arrow. They mustn't have been expecting victims that could fight back and quickly changed tactics, fleeing the scene with two more casualties left in their wake. We let them go, much too Seras very vocal disapproval. But we didn't have time to waste on a wild goose chase through unfamiliar forests when the sun was going to be going down soon. Though after Varric picked the lock on the house and pushed open  the door I had half the mind to run after the cowards myself.

Inside lying in a tangled pile of broken and bloodied limbs, on a old and rotting floor boards with weeds and plants growing through into the house was half a dozen bodies, dressed in casual leathers and mint green shrouds.  

I coughed and held my hand over my nose and mouth. They had been dead awhile and the soggy environment of the Storm Coast had not kept the bodies in good condition.

"These are our missing soldiers, aren’t they?" I asked with a rolling stomach, already knowing the answer.

"Murdered. Shit, " Varric sighed running a hand over his head and turning away from the sight.

I walked further into the room, taking in the devastating scene. There was blood, but not enough of it to suggest this was where our men and women had been killed. Which meant they were brought and left here to rot on the floor of an abandoned house.

_Those bastards...._

"I will see that their families are notified when we return," Cassandra said grimly. "For now we should make them as presentable as possible. We can let Harding know back at camp and arrange transportation."

The thought that we'd be bringing back such terrible news made me feel utterly wretched.

_Their poor families._

Cassandra and Solas offered me the chance to wait outside while they moved and lined up the bodies but I refused. These brave souls had given their lives for our cause. The least I could do now was make sure they looked peaceful and not casually thrown away like broken toys. It was a morbid task and while I didn't openly sob I didn't bother hiding the odd tear that ran down my face as I worked, helping to lay the bodies onto their backs with arms resting across their still chests. I didn't mind being seen crying for these people.

During the grim process I noticed a piece of paper tucked under the leg of a battered looking table, the only piece of furniture in the room. I picked it up out of curiosity, it looked rather fresh and out of place for such a dingy place. There was writing on it. 

 

 ' **Its not our place to disagree. They’re attempting to set themselves up along the shore and we have orders. We are the sword, not the hand that wields it. You taught me that.** **If they are worthy let them come with the Mercy's Crest. Then Volkard will have to except their challenge, as the Leader of the Blades of Hessarian he must adhere to our code.**

**Don’t do anything reckless Kon! You will only get yourself cast out or worse!'**

 

"What have you found Sunshine?" Varric asked curiously.

I held up the note, noticing as I did that there was a picture sketched carefully on the back depicting an detailed blue print of a amulet including a list of items required to make it. Which was convenient. Too convenient to be coincidence.

"It’s a message." I said slowly. "Left for us on purpose I think."

Solas came forward politely taking it from my hands and quickly scanned the page.

"It seems our men were murdered by a group calling themselves The Blades of Hessarian." He said with a frown.

"Hessarians Blade is supposed to represent mercy," Cassandra seethed, her fists clenching in anger. "Not random slaughter."

"Why do this?" I asked. "It's like there trying to pick a fight with the Inquisition."

"Perhaps they disliked us en-coaching on their territory," Solas offered passing the note to The Iron Bull when he gestured for it.

"If your interested, it looks like we can challenge their leader," the big man rumbled thoughtfully.

"Right..... blades and their challenges, biggest blade wins," drawled Sera in disgust. "What they need is arrows, lots of arrows in painful places."

 "What would challenging do exactly?" I asked, ignoring the archer. "How is it any different from kicking down their door and attacking them?"

"It's possible that presenting this 'Mercy's Crest' will give someone the opportunity to fight the leader one on one." Cassandra explained. "I suppose the winner would then take control of The Blades of Hessarian."

"So they could work for us?" I queried thoughtfully.

"They killed your soldiers," Sera hissed in disbelief. "Why would you want any off them piss tarts working for ya?"

"I don't..." I said quickly before biting my lip and frowning. "It's just.... someone left this here on purpose with instructions on how to make the Mercy's Crest. It's almost like they want someone to challenge the leader. Why would they do that? Maybe they need help?"

"It is strange, how they left the note the way they did." Cassandra agreed, her dark brows drawn together in a suspicious frown.

"And it wasn't signed," Bull added. "Whoever wrote it didn't want to be found passing information to outsiders."

"Or it could be a bloody trick?" Sera pressed.

"Either way its a way into their camp," Varric said cheerily. "If they do turn on us we have reason to kill them all anyway."

Sera seemed to mull it over, her lips pursed in concentration. 

"Suppose.... " She mumbled eventually.

"So its agreed, were going to challenge their leader," I said hesitantly.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Let's get back to the camp." Cassandra said taking charge once again. "We can have the quartermaster there source the material and have the crest made by morning. Then we go and find them."

 As we left the run down house and the soldiers bodies behind I looked back feeling torn. I wanted the Blades of Hessarian to pay for the deaths of our men, but the thought of getting revenge by killing them sat badly with my conscious. Even if it was just their leader that had to die. Still, justice needed to be served not only for the memory of the fallen Inquisition men and their families, but for the Inquisitions image. We couldn't afford to look weak by letting something like this go unanswered. The justice system in Thedas was a brutal one and we were at war. More blood was going to shed in our name and I hated it.

_Was all this death really necessary?_

 

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 That evening I stayed up later than I would normally knowing we had a big day ahead of us. I didn't want to think about what would happen tomorrow and desperately wanted a distraction from the depressed atmosphere at camp post the news of the murdered scouts. Instead I let myself be distracted by the smell of the ocean, taking me away from the dreary Storm Coast and reminding me of all the time I’d spent grow up on relaxing on Australian beaches and I found myself feeling homesick. Though strangely enough it didn’t fill me longing just nostalgia. I wanted to enjoy the peace and extra security sleeping at the campsite offered and so had grabbed a blanket and a warm mug of cider before finding a place by the fire pit and curling up to think fondly about days I’d spent looking for shells with my mum, exploring rock pools with my grandfather, sunbathing with friends or just walking the dog along the long expanses of golden sand in the winter weather with the waves crashing in the background. It was a good distraction for awhile.

I was wondering if Thedas had marshmallows to make smores or/and whether or not I could procure the ingredients to make some myself when a large figure cast a shadow over the fire light.

“Mind if I join you Boss?” The Iron Bull said in his rumbling voice. He had spent most the evening with his Chargers as he fondly referred to his team. They’d sent up their own tents on the outskirts of the already established camp and had by all accounts been quiet the hit with our soldiers over the afternoon. 

“Of course not,” I replied politely. “But I’m not your boss Bull, you’re working for the Inquisition not me.”

The Qunari shrugged his massive shoulders and sat down next to me with a groan. “From what I understand your organisation doesn’t have an official leader. And you’re the one who hired us. Besides I’ve noticed the way you seem to flinch or look away when the others call you ‘Herald’. Figured you’d appreciate something different.”

I winced. _Damn it he was as perceptive as Solas was._

“You noticed that huh?”

“Ben-Hassrath,” he said simply. “I’m good at noticing things, know how to read people. It’s all part of the training.”

I wasn’t sure that was a good thing. I had never been a very good liar and now I had such a big secret to protect having someone like Bull around wasn’t at all safe.

“I’m not overly comfortable with my tittle,” I admitted honestly.

“I can tell.” He said with a grin. “I can also tell that you’re not overly comfortable around me.”

I felt my face heat.

“More nervous than uncomfortable,” I replied fidgeting with a strand of hair that had come loose from my braid. There was no reason for me to lie, it seemed he’d know if I was. “You’re an intimidating man Iron Bull, look at how big you are. It’s overwhelming.”

“It’s more than that,” he said knowingly. “You’re hiding something big you don’t want me to know about. You’re worried I’ll find out.”

_Shit, shit shit. He knew! Goddammit Leliana was going to kill me!_

“More can’t let you know then don’t want to,’” I said hesitantly. I was treading dangerous ground now.

“Here’s the thing,” he said leaning forward. “If I’m going to be protecting you on the battle field for your own safety you’re going to need to start trusting me. Does this secret have something to do with The Breach?”

“Not really, to be honest there could be a connection between the two but I don’t know, there is very little we actually know about The Breach and I lost all memory of what happened at the Conclave.” _Not to mention how I got here?_ It was sheer speculation whether I came through The Breach to get to this world, or if my arriving here caused it, or if the two events were even remotely related. I couldn’t say because I didn’t know.

“Is it dangerous?” he said coldly making sure he was looking me right in the eyes. “Will not knowing put my boys at risk.”

“No it wo-” I rushed defensively before quickly stopping myself and thinking hard. _Was my origins putting Bull and his men in danger?_ If so they deserved the truth. Knowing about Earth would cause either mass panic or complete loss of support for the ‘Crazy Herald’ and her Inquisition. So it wouldn’t put anyone in danger only possibly their reputation for being associated with us. Then again there were things about my world that could put this one at risk, knowledge or ideas like guns and missiles, even medicine and modern engineering that people could and would kill for if they knew I had such knowledge. I shook my head negative.

“No. It’s only dangerous if it gets out into the wrong hands, as it is it’s safer that no one knows.”

He continued to look at me his scarred face focused and intent on mine, reading my face for the truth before sitting back and stretching out lazily.

“Then I won’t pry.” He said reassuringly. “My mission was to report on The Breach not dig up your personal shit. As long as it doesn’t affect our goal or put anyone in danger I’ll let it be. I’ll trust that if that ever changes though you will tell me.”

“I will,” I said nodding eagerly, if it became too risky to keep my secret I would gladly let people know. “On one condition.”

“Oh and what’s that?” The big Qunari looked puzzled, it was an odd expression on his battle scarred face.

“Can I please touch your horns?” I asked curiously. “Only if that’s not considered rude or anything that is. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable I just…. Well I’ve never seen anything like them before.” 

Bull laughed, a deep booming noise that echoed around the camp and caused several people nearby to look and stare our way.

“Knock yourself out Boss,” he rumbled tilting his head forward. “Just watch the ends, their pointy.”

I reached out tentatively to brush my fingers against the hard surface. They felt strange hard yet oddly light, some parts were smooth while in others it became rough or jutted, like they were carved roughly from a chunk of wood. 

“Wow,” I giggled. “Do all Qunari have horns like yours?”

He puffed his chest out playfully indignant, “Are you kidding. Nobody has horns as impressive as mine!”

“Is that so?” I laughed feeling the tough hide like skin at the base of his left horn.

“Just look at that crossbar!” He bragged before pitching his voice into a low purr. “The ladies love how I can get their legs right over when I-“

“Oh my god!” I screeched pulling my hand away quickly in horror. “No! I don’t want to hear that Bull! Euww!”

He laughed and I joined in whipping my hand cautiously on the wet grass.

“So we ok Boss?” he said eventually, his good eye sparkling in the firelight.

I smiled at him. This little chat had been exactly what I needed to put myself at ease around the big guy. 

“Yeah. We’re good Bull. We’re good.” 

 

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By the time morning broke on the Storm Coast the next day the camp requisitions officer had managed to recreate the Mercy’s Crest necklace depicted in in the missive left by the Blades of Hessarian. He'd  gladly worked through the night when he'd been told of its purpose, wanting to help in anyway to avenge the deaths of his comrades. Now all we needed was to find their stronghold, which was proving to be more difficult than we’d anticipated. By early afternoon we still hadn’t found where they were stationed and were forced to take a quick break and rethink where we were going to look next. Cassandra and Bull were fawning over a map of the region trying to best determine where we should next try while the rest of us sat near by eating bread and apples. The Mercy's Crest was hanging around Cassandra neck, it had been decided that she would be the one to challenge their leader, Sera, Varric and I were terrible candidates for a one on one brawl and Bull and Solas were too intimidating in their own rights and likely to cause there leader to panic and just send all his men to attack us regardless of tradition. Cassandra was an excellent fighter and would no doubt be able to handle a rogue bandit leader. That was if we could find them.

Finishing my lunch I threw the remaining apple core of the the side, wondering if maybe a tree might grow here in the near future or if the climate would make it so apple trees wouldn't grow here. 

_I suppose maybe a nug would eat it...._

 "Do you hear that?" Bull suddenly asked, looking up from the map.

I strained my ears but couldn't hear a thing over the constant patter of the rain.

Solas's eyes went wide and he stood quickly.

"Screaming in the distance," he explained as he hurriedly gathered up his pack and picked up his staff. "This way."

We all followed suit, packing up quickly and trailing after the elf and Qunari as they lead us further inland at a fast pace. Eventually we came across a hill with a moderately sized clearing at its peak surrounded by thick forest and trees. Figures could bee seen running through the trees and I could her shouts and  boisterous laughter coming from many different men.

"Do you think it's the Blades?" I asked as we jogged up the slope of the hill.

"Given how they didn't seem to like the Inquisition camping in their territory I doubt these guys would be inclined to let other groups do the same." Varric remarked from my side.

All of a sudden a figure burst out of the tree line running fiercely across the clearing, wearing a long hooded cloak with a long muddied skirt peaking out from beneath it. The fleeing person let out a terrified high pitched scream as she ran.

"They had a women! Girls making a run for it." Growled Bull darkly as my stomach rolled unpleasantly in understanding of where the screams had been coming from.

_Those monsters!_

 I watched in horror as the fleeing woman tripped ending up falling hard and sprawled on the ground, her assailants quickly gaining ground and  appearing from the forest. 

"We have to help," I said rushing forward, pleased to find my comrades doing the same quickly over taking me in the process.

"We need at least one alive," Cassandra said as she ran. "They may be our key to finding The Blades of Hessarian. Try not to scare them off Iron Bull"

 Bull grinned widely.

"But I get to kill some of them right?" He said laughing, an eager gleam to his eye.

Solas scowled darkly at the other man.

"This is not something to take pleasure from," the elf hissed before sending a concerned look my way. "We do not kill unless there is no other option."

I gave him a grateful smile, at least he was brave enough to challenge the large Qunari when I wasn't.

Bull just grunted and hefted his massive axe into a better position, eye focused ahead where the troupe of bandits where coming into range. 

A warning shot from Varric pinned a bandit to the ground by his trousers leg and announced our arrival, another from Sera had a man screaming and dropping his sword with an arrow skewering his hand. 

"Get to the women Evie," Cassandra ordered. "Sera go with her and provide cover. The rest of us will go after them."

I nodded and with a confirming look to Sera we ran toward to the crumpled form of the women, the others breaking off to target the bandits and follow them into the trees ahead. While Sera stood over us and fired into the enemies ranks I bent down over the shaking women. Touching her shoulder gently I tried to let the women know we were there, she just flinched away cowering within her worn and ragged cloak. Hiding her head under her arms and hands.

"Hey its alright," I tried to sooth in reassurance. " We're here to help. Are you hurt?"

All she did was whimper and curl even further into herself.

"Shes terrified." I said horrified to Sera as I began rummaging about in my pouches for a healing potion to offer the women.

"Your safe now yeah?" Sera offered helpfully, her eyes still trained on the fight ahead of us. "We aint goin' to hurt ya. Look, we've even got them running back into the forest. See? The piss bags are practically shittin' themselves."

I looked up myself to find Sera was right, I could only just make out the stocky form of Varric on the edge of the tree line. There was the odd shout or flash of magic to give away the position of the others.

I sighed in relief, and looked down at the women.

"She's right, they're no where near us now. You're sa-"

I trailed off as the women finally raised her head and looked up, from under her hood I could make out a set of thick dark eyebrows and a long pointed nose. A set of sharp glacial eyes and thin mouth twisted into victorious sneer beneath a short mustache and short beard.

_Wait.... WHAT?!_

"You're-" Realization struck me too late as the man reached beneath his cloak and bought out his own potion bottle filled with a dark blue almost black liquid.

Before I could call out a warning he threw the potion grenade on the ground, the glass shattering on impacted. Dark liquid sizzled and bubbled noiselessly on the ground and quickly produced a thick dark cloud of smoke that washed over the three of us in an instant.

"What the-!?" I cried out in surprise trying to scramble back and inhaling mouthfuls of the heavy smoke in the process, making my mouth and noise feel as if it had been filled with cotton.

"Shite!" Sera swore. "Fuck'n knock out shit, Damn it!!!! CASSANDRA! VARRIC WE...  we .... need..."

My head was feeling heavy, clouded and thick. I barely even realized that my shaking limbs didn't seem to be able to hold me up any more as a fell to my side on the grass. Struggling to keep my eyes open I watched in fear as Sera fell to her knees beside me, trying to keep herself upright with her bow and reaching with a shaking hand for the dagger tucked into her belt. The elfs big eyes were wide and fearful, staring my way and over to the disguised man who was making his way to his feet behind me.

"No...." Sera hissed her expression one of both fear and anger as she struggled and fought against the effect of the smoke, but it was useless. She too fell, landing on her front still reaching out for where I lay.

I tied to call out for help but my tongue was too heavy, my body not obeying my commands. I was so.... _tired_.

A heavy boot kicked me over onto my back and a stared up at the women we had thought we were helping. He stood triumphantly over me, a thick scarf having been pulled up over his mouth and nose.

"Fools," He sneered with a muffled laugh as I fought to keep my eyes open. "You're coming with me Herald." 

Unable to stay awake any longer everything went dark and I was distantly aware that I was being hoisted up onto someones shoulder into an undignified fireman's hold. My last thought before my mind went silent was frustrated horror that I'd let this happen, that none of us had realized what was happening. 

We'd been played. Walking right into their trap as we tried to play hero for a women in distress.

_We were indeed fools._

 

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

 

Solas

 

With Cassandra and Bull chasing down the fleeing men ahead of him Solas focused his magic on trying to pin down and restrain at least one on the bandits. It was proving to be surprisingly difficult in the tight confines of the trees. The bandits managing to dodge and avoid most of his attacks by ducking  behind trees or rocks. They were doing an excellent job of avoiding being caught, even when Cassandra or Bull had someone within their grasp a fellow bandit would intervene and provide a distraction so the other could escape, infuriating both warriors beyond the point of frustration. It was a rather well thought out retreat in fact.

Too well thought out.

 _They hadn't even attempted to retaliate and hurt us,_ the elf mussed in confusion. Watching how the bandits did just enough to keep them on their tail and leading them further into the trees and away from their victim.

_Away from Evelyn..._

Even before Varrics panicked voice echo'd out into the forest the Mages blood had turned cold with sudden understanding and dread.

"SEEKER! They're taking Evie!"

Solas didn't even wait to see if either warrior had heard the dwarf as he ran to the edge of the forest and out into the clearing, sharp eyes taking in details within seconds. Evelyns staff lying on the ground beside a puddle of still smoking potion and glass, Sera splayed out on the wet grass unconscious and unresponsive to the rain falling from above but breathing steadily and otherwise appearing unharmed. Varric standing on the edge of the hill top with Bianca cocked and aimed at a barely visible figure retreating in the distance. 

...The absence of both Evelyn and the women they had been trying to assist.

"Shit!" Varric yelled in frustration lowering his crossbow and kicking viciously at a clump of nearby weeds. "I can't hit the bastard with risking her at this distance."

Solas came up to the dwarfs side and they both watched on helplessly as the figure disappeared into another cluster of trees. Bull and Cassandra coming out of the tree line and looking about wildly. The Qunari was the first to realize the situation, his good eye widening as he looked to Solas for confirmation.

"What happened?!" Cassandra demanded, eyes narrowed on everyone. "Where is she? Wheres the Herald?"

"They took her?" Bull rumbled, it was less of a question than it was a tragic statement of fact.

"We were tricked," Solas said in despair. "The bandits in a forest were a distraction for us while they targeted the Herald."

Cassandra pushed her way to his side looking out in the direction the kidnapper had left in, her face pale and stunned. Varric ran a distressed hand through his hair and sat heavily on the grass. Solas was distantly aware that Bull was checking on Sera and making sure the other elf was alright while the rest of them struggled to comprehend what had just occurred.

Someone had just stolen The Herald of Andraste right out from under them. She was gone, they had her. Why or what for he didn't know, couldn't bring himself to speculate.

_They had Evelyn..._

He groaned and hide his face behind his hand.

_We failed her._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've taken a few liberties with the 'cleaning house' quest and the Blades of Hessarian because, well.... I felt the need for more trouble. What did Varric say, something about if you love your characters you make them suffer a little. Even if most of them aren't really my characters. (Thank you Bioware, the credit is all yours).
> 
> Anyway, thank you again to everyone taking the time to read this.


	23. The Makers Mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All I know is you seem to be a group of bandits that prayed upon Inquisition soldiers and your boss is a total dick head."
> 
> Captured and alone Evie try's to get some answers and possibly some allies in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** Important: Any one who has read the previous chapter before the 6/4 will probably feel a bit of dejavu, I really wasn't happy by how disjointed it felt so have taken the ending of last chapter and the beginning of the next to make a new one which flowed a bit better. I'm so sorry for any annoyance this causes but I felt it was needed. I probably shouldn't have posted it when I wasn't entirely happy with it. That'll teach me :/ ****  
> Sorry it took so long.  
> Hope you enjoy.... Again

 

 

## The Makers Mercy ##

 

 

Waking up in captivity the first time had been confusing and scary as hell, made all the more worse because I had no idea what had happened to get myself in that predicament the first place. Doing it for a second time was not something I'd thought I would need to deal with.

_Seriously who wakes up as someone else's prisoner on two separate occasions_?

For most people it doesn't even happen once! Like having the chicken pox; you're only supposed to experience something like that once right? Particularly when I had a whole organisation and band of kick ass fighters watching out for me.

And yet here I was... Again, captured. A damsel in flippin' distress.

_Bloody pathetic._

Making the matter worse was the fact that it was our own attempt to rescue a supposed woman in need that had got me into this mess in the first place. Now I was the lady in need of a saving.

_Stupid irony!_

At least when I was being held and questioned by Cassandra I had been kept inside. The Blades of Hessarian seemed to have decided that the best way to deal with the so-called Herald of Andraste was to kept her in the most uncomfortable and degrading conditions humanely possible.

Which was why I currently found myself being held in a large steal dog cage positioned outside in the Hessarians hidden camps courtyard, with rain constantly trickling down through the bars. I sat kneeling in a generous patch of filthy mud with my hands tied and bound by course itchy rope to the bars above, keeping my body in a permanent posture of strain and discomfort. The Blades had oh so kindly relieved me of my coat and armor, so what little protection from the elements I once had was denied to me. Even my boots were gone! Leaving me dressed in my tunic and leather pants with my socks and shirt soaked through and my body shivering intermittently from the chill. I was feeling wet, achy and uncomfortable. But worst of all was my neighbours.

The cage next to mine was currently being occupied by two very large and very angry war dogs.

Mabari.

I liked dogs, hell I loved dogs. Growing up I'd never been without one as a family pet. Any shape size or bread I could find something to like about the animal. Cullen had spoken of the Ferelden dogs with something close to awe and pride. Loyal, brave, fierce and smarter than any regular hound Mabari were supposed to be powerful and grand creatures. I had been looking forward to seeing one first hand. Tales of the Mabari that traveled with the Hero of Ferelden only fueling my curiosity of the burly beasts. I just didn't expect my first encounter to be so horrifying.

They were big. Not just tall for a dog, which they most certainly were, standing well over waist high on an average person. They were also broad shouldered and barrel chested looking more like those stone lion like creature statues found outside of Chinese temples or restaurants. They bulged with muscle and sinew beneath short mottled brown fur and with squashed Pit Bull like faces they weren't exactly pretty animals. These two in particular were adorned with extra scars and battle sores making them look all the more angry and volatile. One was missing an eye while the other looked as if something had taken a great chunk off its right front paw and it had healed into a messy nightmare of a foot. And they wouldn't stop snarling at me. Growling low and barking fiercely they continuously threw themselves at the dividing wall of bars separating the two cages, teeth flashing and white froth dripping from their jowls.

If The Blades were trying keep me unnerved and continually on edge they were succeeding. I felt like a nervous wreck. Every time they would snap and the cage would rattle I would flinch and cower, trying and block out the angry sounds of attacking dogs.

At least the cage gave me a decent view of the hideout we'd had so much trouble trying to find. It wasn't overly big, about the size of any one of our Inquisition field camps. It was surrounded on all sides by high log fences sharpened to points at the tips. There were only two actual structures or buildings in the compound, all very simple and rustic in design, the rest of the housing was found in the form of worn tents covered with old furs. I could also see what seemed to be a small empty stable off to the side of what I suspect to be the gates, however my view of the gates was partially obscured by the wooden frames of the stable. It wasn't a very impressive set up, much like its inhabitants.

The Blades of Hessarians themselves were a motley bunch, mostly consisting of men aged between late twenties to early fifties. They were all dressed in an odd miss match of armor and weaponry scraped together from wherever they could find it. The only consistency being that all of them wore something blue in colour, be it a scarf or bandanna or shirt all of them wore blue. Most walked about and went on their business deliberately ignoring or avoiding my presence which I found odd. _What kind of people ignored a girl tied up in a dog cage?_ It was like they were nervous having me held captive here. There were a handful of others however who seemed to delight in my capture at their hands. These men kept going out of their way to stop by, laugh, hurl insults or even throw mud in my direction. Boasting loudly of the successful capture of the 'False Herald.' I tried to ignore them but the continual degradation and attacks by hostile people and dogs alike was wearing me down.

"Pathetic." "Weak." "Whore" "...Belongs with the dogs." "... Give her something to Praise Andraste for..."

With every cat call, rude name and splatter of mud I became more and more withdrawn into myself, staring down into the mud and becoming completely unresponsive. Not letting them see how much their words hurt or how scared I was. I didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

_Keep smiling assholes,_ I seethed internally. _Just you wait till my friends get here, then we'll see who's pitching mud at who._

Because I refused to believe that my companions wouldn't come for me. They were strong and clever people, they would surely find where we were. While I hated to put them in harms way for my sake and be so dependent on them for help like the pathetic weakling I was, the thought of rescue was the only thing keeping me from breaking down into a full on panic attack.

Because if they weren't coming I didn't want to think of the alternative, not that there was much else to occupy my thoughts at present.

Wincing sharply in discomfort, I tried to wiggle my arms and wrists a little to change my position and ease some of the stiffness I was feeling in my shoulders and back.

"Hope your not trying to loosen those ropes missy."

I looked up to find a rugged looking heavy set man wearing red leather and partial plate armour making his way towards me. He had a shock of mattered shoulder length dirty blonde hair and a short matching beard that hid most of his face except for a pair of pale brown eyes. His gait was lazy with an arrogant swing to his heavy gorilla like arms. There was a single silver hatchet stuck through a loop in his belt and one shoulder was covered by a plate guard artfully crafted to look like a skull.

_Ok.... that was cheesy_

The man was flanked on either side by two of my regular tormentors. I glared up at them in annoyance.

"No." I responded dully to his comment. Actually I'd already tried loosening my bindings earlier on and only managed to get myself a set of nasty set of rope burns for my trouble. Not that he needed to know that.

He chortled haughtily, the sound crass and guttural.

"So you're the little bitch claiming to speak for Andraste," He said a malicious smirk firmly in place. "I thought you'd be prettier."

A chorus of guffaws followed his words as his supporters egged on their friend.

_Well your just as horrible as I thought you would be_ , I thought snarkily figuring I was finally meeting the leader of The Blades of Hessarian. What did the letter call him? Holward? Valkard? I couldn't remember, for all the kindness I was feeling towards him at the moment I'd probably just call him Sir Asshat and be done with it. Looking up through my soaked hair and passed the amassed crowd I could see a few Blades hanging back looking on at the display with distaste, shying away from the confrontation. It looked like not everyone here supported their illustrious leader.

_Interesting..._

Turning my gaze back down to the mud I refused to say anything to the disgusting man in front of me. Maybe he'd get the hint and realise I wasn't in the mood to chat.

I wasn't so lucky instead he kicked the cage viciously in response, making the dogs yelp and growl fanatically. I couldn't stifle my own startled yelp and unconscious flinch.

"You will look at me when I talk to you you filthy cunt!"

I could feel the heat raising up from my collar. My ears may have been glowing considering how hot they felt.

_Excuse me? What did he just call me?!_

Without even meaning to I looked back up at the man sending him my most pissed off glare, the mark on my palm crackled angrily in sync with my emotions. The men beside Asshat falling silent and backing away a cautious step.

_I hated that word_!

The bandit leader seemed taken aback but smiled widely showing yellowing and chipped teeth.

"Well looks like the little bitch has fangs after all." He declared opening his arms wide.

"What do you want?" I hissed as he crouched down in front of my cage so we were face to face on either side of the bars.

"I want the world to know of the fake that you are," he grinned evilly. "You see the Blades of Hessarian are the real agents of the Maker. We are the sword guided by his hand to do his work. We act out the will of the Maker. Not some jumped up tart who fell out of the Fade."

_Something wasn't right here._ Even as he spoke and gestured grandly with his hands I could tell this man held no believe in his own words. His grin was too forced and motions too over the top, like a bad actors. He was no faithful Andrastian, he was just using this spiel to cover his true intent whatever that may be.

_Bu_ _t they were a group of bandits, why bother pretending to be chaste Andrastians?_

I let my eyes flick lazily about the dingy little compound before looking Sir Asshat in the eyes.

"For a holy order you live like a band of mindless thugs." I said loudly, hoping everyone in the vicinity could hear.

"Does our humble abode not please you Lady Herald," he sneered dramatically grinning like I'd just walked right into his ploy. "Those doing the Makers will have little to spare on comfort. More proof you do not deserve such reverence."

"I'm not talking about your accommodations you smarmy fake bastard, I'm talking about your actions," I challenged angrily staring him down. "You killed our Scouts."

His face darkened slightly at the insult but he continued to try and keep his act going.

"It is not our fault the Makers will is often unclear but we must-"

"Bullshit! They were no threat to you unless you were doing something illegal or immoral," I pressed before adding on quickly. "The Maker I know would never condone such mindless slaughter."

"They were setting up on our land!" Asshat hissed angrily at my interruption.

"So you were protecting your supposed turf, not working for the Maker?" I countered quickly, tilting my head in false puzzlement. "You need to get your story straight Sir, your followers might become confused of your intentions."

_Oh my god! What was that? Where was this sudden defiance coming from? Shut up Evie before you piss him off!!!_

To late...

With an furious growl one of his large hands snaked through the bars and latched around my throat with bruising force. Startled I tried to pull back only to have his grip tighten considerably. I choked and gasped, the sudden lack of air was mind-numbingly terrifying as I panicked and wiggled uselessly, my only means of defense tied above to the cage. He held tight until spots began to dance in front of my eyes before suddenly letting go with one finale vindictive squeeze.

"Insolent whore," he growled standing himself up as I drew in painful, shaky gasps of air. Coughing and wheezing  violently in the aftermath of the attack. "Every one will see the truth of you. Tomorrow you will be judged."

"What are you talking about?" I croaked.

"We fight of course," His face was a twisted mask of controlled glee. "Tomorrow when the sun reaches its highest you and I will face in combat. If the Maker wills it you will succeed and be spared, if not then clearly Andraste holds no special place for you."

_Oh crap_.

It was just like a Monty Python witch trial; Doomed with unrealistic logic. He knew just as I did that this was fixed, their Maker wasn't going to be intervening or striking down anyone. Gods never did. The winner of any fight here would be won with skill and might, something this man clearly out ranked me with.

_Damn it!_

But I shouldn't panic just yet. I still had a chance. I may not have much belief in their Maker, but I had faith in my friends.

"It wont happen," I said with conviction, even though my voice was shaking. "My friends will be here with the Mercies Crest. They were planning on challenging you and you will have to accept. It's part of your code or whatever right?"

"Is that so?" the smug twist to his mouth and his bright eager eyes made me realize he already knew what we had planned to do.

_Had they been watching us this whole time? Maybe he set us up and left the note for us to find so we'd try and find him. But why?_

"It's too bad they'll never find this place then," he added smugly as he turned to leave. "Only a fellow Blade can safely navigate this area. Your friends wont be able to find you until I send them your corpse."

I glared angrily at his retreating back, hating the sudden dread pooling in the center of my chest.

That did it, Sir Asshat had just been promoted to Lord Douchenozzel the Dick head.

..... And I was in a lot of trouble.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

 

Unsurprisingly it turned out to be a very long night. I was cold, wet, uncomfortable, and in a constant state of fear as even the slightest twitch from the inhabitants of the cage next to mine had me wide eyed and waiting to flinch. Plus I was pretty sure I could feel a stress pimple developing on my chin. _Yay_. The only reprieve I had from my discomfort was when I'd been escorted at sword point to the privy on the other side of the camp, while it was a degrading walk I got to stretch my body out of my cramped holdings and  had a brief period of privacy. Then it was right back to my cage where my neighbours were waiting to greet me with newly bloodied jaws. Seems the Mabari had been fed in my absence, _lovely_.

As the sun set and the people about the camp grew scares time seemed to drag by at a snails pace. Unable to sleep or let my guard down I was starting to realize another problem. I was thirsty. Very thirsty. The odd drizzle of rain I'd managed to catch through the cage bars wasn't enough to make my dry mouth feel any better and without my hands to catch anything more substantial I was feeling more than parched. I'd stopped bothering to ask the odd passerby for food or drink, it was clear I wasn't going to be getting any. Which meant by the time tomorrows 'judgement ' came around I was going to have even more of a disadvantage. One of my earliest lessons with Cullen had involved him lecturing me about the importance of looking after myself outside of a fight. Being dehydrated and lacking energy provided through a good meal and good nights rest would mean it would be harder to concentrate and my response time would be slower. I had a feeling that Lord Douchenozzel had planned things this way, stacking the deck further in his favor, not that he really needed to. He would clearly win in a fight. Which had me wondering why he was going to such lengths to make sure I was so thoroughly beaten.

_What did he get out of any of this?_

The whole religious purpose thing was clearly a farce, kind of ironic really considering my own predicament as 'The Herald of Andraste'. But at least Leliana and Cassandra were actually devout Andrastians and we were genuinely trying to do right at the old Divines directive, even if I wasn't convinced of the Makers existence. 

_Why was this guy so determined to keep with the whole 'guided by the Maker' thing? And why target me?_

So many unanswered questions.

I frowned out into the dark. I hated not having all the pieces to a puzzle, it was so frustrating not knowing why this was happening. My legs were starting to feel numb so I shifted my them out from beneath me, positioning it so my knees were bent in front of my chest, instantly regretting it as pins and needle began to take the place of the numbness followed closely by cramps in my right calf. Hissing in discomfort I tried to stretch my leg out as much as my prison would allow.

"Ow,ow, ow ow, cramp!" I chanted out loud,  nobody was about to here me anyway and if I woke up a few Blades in the process I wasn't about to feel bad for them. They were the ones who had shoved me into a dog cage after all.

_"Pssst."_

"Goddamn it, what I wouldn't give for a banana right now, something with potassium" I mumbled, flexing my foot to try and ease the sharp ache.

_"Pssst!"_

I looked up and looked out around my cage, swearing I had heard something. The only people up were a few Blades on watch duty at the gate, I didn't even have a set of guards as they were so sure in there defenses and the watch dogs besides me.

"PSSSSSSST!"

That time I knew I heard something. Craning my head back around and twisting my arms I searched the darkness around my cage, the mark on my palm giving me a small amount of eerie green light to see by. Eventually finding the source of the noise crouched in the shadows behind a ragged banner where a man had his pale face peaking out nervously as he tried to get my attention.

"Uhh.... Hi? Did you want me?" I asked, stunned stupid by his sudden appearance.

"Is any one around?" He whispered eyes flickering nervously about.

I took a look around and shook my head.

"No one around but me and the Mabari."

He seemed to heave a sigh of relief and slowly crept forward until he was crouching by the side of my cage. The wars dogs shifted but otherwise seemed uncaring about the new arrival.

The man was slight in build, dressed in rugged leathers over a padded blue top. He looked younger than most the other Blades I'd seen about the camp, with light brown hair trimmed so it was longer at the tops than at the sides. In his hands he carried a small pale and a long wooden ladle like spoon.

"I thought you might be a bit thirsty Lady Herald." He said earnestly and looking hopefully at me through the bars.

"Uhh....Thank you. I think." I replied hesitantly, watching as he spooned some water out of the bucket with the long handled ladle and offered it through the bars. I eyed the dark liquid suspiciously. "Its not poisoned is it? Your boss doesn't need to go that far, I'm already screwed for tomorrows fight."

He laughed bitterly, "No my lady. I just thought you needed a drink."

He looked genuine, and I was really, really thirsty. I let him bring the ladle to my lips and gulped down the water when it was tipped. It tasted stale and a fair amount ended up dripping down my front but it still felt like the best drink I'd had in weeks. I ended up finishing half the several ladles full before I'd had my fill.

"Thank you," I gasped, wishing I had a free hand to wipe my chin with. Not that it really mattered, I was already soaking what was a little more water. "Are you likely to get in trouble for this?"

"Not if I don't get caught," He said shooting me a charming if nervous smile.

"Oh, right. Do you have name?" I asked slowly, unsure what to say to the man.

"Tray, my Lady."

"Tray, well my names Evie." I said softly. "And people who risk themselves to bring me water don't have to call me 'My Lady'."

"Evie then," he said hesitantly.

"I don't understand, why are you doing this?" I asked confused. "Don't get me wrong a appreciate the gesture but I'm supposed to be your prisoner right? Don't think you're supposed to be nice to me."

He fidgeted with the handle of the pale and shifted about nervously.

"I suppose because I feel partially responsible for your capture," He said sadly. "Its my fault you are here my Lady."

"Evie," I corrected firmly all the while staring at the man sternly. "How exactly is this your fault? Pretty sure you weren't the man in drag."

"No, that was Clyde, Volkards right hand," Tray explained in a low voice. "He's real snake."

"No kidding," I murmured darkly, thinking of the man gleeful dark eyes when he'd captured me.

He nodded and continued. "You mentioned your friends having possession of the Mercy's Crest. I assume you know about it after finding a letter where your men were...."

"Carelessly and cruelly dumped by your group," I offered angrily putting two and two together. "You wrote it didn't you? And you planted it so we could find it."

Tray looked sadly down at his hands.

"I did," He admitted. "I was desperate. I didn't realize Volkard was having you watched or that he'd try something like this. I just wanted a way to end all this without all my brothers being slaughtered. I'm so sorry."

"Maybe you should start from the beginning," I suggested, finally thinking I would be getting some much needed answers.

"What do you know of our organisation?" Tray asked. 

"I'd never heard of your group before we found your letter," I replied shrugging awkwardly given my bindings. "All I know is you seem to be a group of bandits that prayed upon Inquisition soldiers and your boss is a total dick head."

He gave a surprised snort and looked around anxiously to make sure he hadn't been heard.

"Yes," he agreed smiling cheekily. "He is. We never used to be like this. The Blades of Hessarian origins can be traced back to Andrastes death. We were a noble order once, working in secret to continue our mission of mercy in the Makers name. However over time our numbers have dwindled and separated. Most of us are part of families that have been serving the Blades for generations, like our fathers and our fathers fathers. Its in our blood, our inheritence. While our work is often misunderstood, we do serve Andraste... and whoever proves worthy of wielding us."

"And Volkard is concidered worthy?" I scoffed raising a disbelieving eyebrow. 

"He challenged our last leader with the Mercys Crest and won, proving himself worthy in the Makers eyes. It may seem strange to you but we place a lot in our old beliefs and traditions, it's considered treasonous to go against them. Unfortunately Volkard knows this. He has used us, turned us into a group of petty thieves and thugs, taking work from smugglers and pirates and frightening what locals remain for protection coin."

"Why don't you get rid of him then?" I asked "You can't be the only one who feels this way, just boot him out."

"Its more complicated than that," He sighed. "We have rules, without them we are not true Blade of Hessarian, just another mercenary group. We cannot oppose our leader who has proved himself worthy through combat. Some of us would be willing, more than willing, to have him taken out but most of our older members are so opposed to going against the old ways that they wont do anything about him useless he breaks a rule. Volkard  may be cruel but he's not stupid, he knows were the line is and how to avoid crossing it far enough that the Blades _all_ turn on him. Plus he's strict, him and his lackeys are strong and their punishments are.... horrible. They stomp out any attempts to overthrow him before it can gain any real momentum."

"Your right it does seem strange to me," I said shaking my head in disbelief. Faith was all well and good but when you just sat back and hoped the Maker would eventually show up to fix things it lead to crap like this happening; a cruel psychopath using a group of people for his own means in the name of their god. No, it didn't make sense to me how they could let this go so far. Even so I felt bad for Tray and his brethren, Volkard seemed to have done an excellent job of trapping theses people with their own rules and fear of his harsh punishments. They were afraid and I could understand that all to well.

 "It does explain why he was so heavy handed with all that 'Makers will' crap he was spilling." I offered after a moment silence. "He's using at as an excuse to make you do his dirty work. I doubt he actually believes what he's saying."

"We know that! Well most of us do but there's more to it." He continued, heat gracing his cheeks and a bit of anger in his voice. "After the Inquisition came to the area and started trying to help those left in the region, more of us began to feel that we would be better off with a new leader. One that actually shared our purpose and appreciated our cause and not use us as his own personal army. Even some of the older members started to doubt. My friend Kon was trying to convince others to stand up to Volkard and his men, it was working too. Until Clyde managed to find out about his plans. I tried to warn Kon to be careful but it was too late."

Trays voice had grown tight, and his hands curled into tight white knuckled fists.

"What happened?" I asked hesitantly, knowing I wasn't going to like the answer.

He looked up, staring past me to the encampments gate, his face pale and distraught, shining with unshed tears and barely restrained rage.

"What always happens when one of us defy Volkard."

I followed his gaze, leaning of to the right to try and peer around the structure of the stables. Movement over the top and to the side of the gate caught my eye, something big and metallic swaying slightly where it hung. The flames from a nearby torch giving me just enough light to make out the distinct structure of something like a large spiked bird cage... And the red raw and fleshy figure inside of it, an arm and a leg protruding from out the bars.

My stomach rolled unpleasantly and I fought down the urge to vomit.

_Oh God!_

"That's...?"

"He was alive in there for three days after Volkard had finished with him." Tray said, his voice trembling. "Anyone who went near him was at risk of receiving the same torture and being branded a traitor. We grew up together, I'd known Kon my whole life...... heard him screaming from Volkards hut for hours, watched him starve! And couldn't do a damn thing! I was a coward, I didn't want to die the way he did."

"I'm.... I'm so sorry." I whispered, I couldn't blame the man for not wanting to share the fate of his friend. It was horrible.

"That's when I left the note I'd written him, hoping someone might find it and challenge that bastard the way we can't."

I nodded in understanding. "I get it. I wish we could have done more."

He shook his head, "You couldn't do anymore. As soon as he found out the Herald of Andraste was here he had his sights set on you. This trial tomorrow, it's Volkards way of reasserting his authority. If he kills Andrastes Herald in front of all his men there would be no doubt the Maker favours him. Even the younger Blades would find it difficult to doubt his claim."

"Don't suppose your just going to let me go then," I laughed bitterly.

He looked at me sadly.

"Even if I had the key.... I have friends on guard duty tonight. If you disappeared under their watch..." He trailed off meaningfully.

I shuddered.

"It's ok. I understand. I don't want anybody to go through that on my behalf."

"There's still something you can do," he said eagerly edging closer to the cage. "If your truly chosen surely the Maker will not let you fail and I would rather swear my life to the Herald of Andraste."

It took me a moment to realise what he was suggesting. I felt my eyes widen in horror as a tried to shuffle away from the man.

"No!" I said forcefully. "No, no, no, no. I am not killing him."

"Why not?" Tray pressed, clearly baffled by my reluctance. "You could help us go back to our original purpose and we could be very useful to the Inquisition."

"Because," I hissed through the bars. "I don't kill people."

"But he's going to try and kill you tomorrow," He argued still obviously not understanding my opinion on the matter. "You have the chance to fight back. If you tried its possible you could defeat him, if the Maker wills it. You go free and we don't have to live under that miserable bastards control. Everybody wins.... well everyone except Volkard"

I stared at him in astonishment.

"Even if I had a chance to win, which I don't! I'm not going to kill anybody! Even him. I refuse to let the death of someone like him hang around on my conscious for the rest of my life. I'm sorry Tray. I. Don't. Kill .People. End of story."

"Andraste herself lead army to fight for our freedom from Tevinter. She was a fierce warrior," he reasoned kindly.

"Yeah well, I'm not Andraste," I replied dully. "I'm just me and I don't believe in killing. I'm no warrior Tray, not even close. Even if I was willing to kill Volkard I would never be able to beat him. I'm still rather new to actual combat."

I watched as his face seemed to drop as hope left his eyes and his shoulders fell in defeat. I felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over me.

"Then we have no hope," he croaked. "We are just as trapped as you."

"Don't say that," I said softly. "Just cause I can't win doesn't mean others wont. Like my friends for example. Cassandra still has the Mercies Crest, she'd have no problems introducing her sword to his face." 

"Your friends?" Tray scoffed, clearly unimpressed. "They will never find their way here and if they did it wouldn't be until it was too late for you."

"They could if they have someone show them..." I replied giving the man a meaningful look waiting for the hint to sink in.

"...Me?" He said staring blankly at me.

I nodded and smiled reassuringly.

"You want me to go and find your friends and lead them back here?"

"Yep."

He quickly began shaking his head negative, I was worried he might accidently shake something loose with the force his head was whipping back and forth.

"Uh-ah, Nope. No. Can't do it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's insane!" He rasped. "Inviting the Inquisition here after we killed their men, kidnapped their Herald, locked her in a Mabari cage and forced her into trial by combat. No thank you! We will be slaughtered, all of us. And it would be my fault."

"Not if you tell them what you've told me," I argued. "They are good people Tray, they will understand."

He continued shaking his head, eyes wide and scared. He looked ready to bolt and I was going to end up losing my last hope of resolving this thing with as little blood shed as possible.

"Tray, please look at me." I pleaded. "You wanted to help your friends and order, become something better and return to what you once were and this is your chance! Possibly your only chance. Once Volkard kills me the Inquisition _will_ eventually find this encampment and I wont be able to speak on your behalf if I'm dead. By doing this you could save the lives of your brothers and the future of the Blades of Hessarian."

"The rules..." He started shakily. "If Volkard finds out..."

"Freedom never comes without risk," I said softly. "You need to decide if you think it's worth it. It's your choice. Leave things the way they are and hope for the best. Pray that eventually someone else will come by and defeat Volkard and will hopefully not be just as bad as he was. Or you take control for once and shape your own life. You can't leave everything to the Maker, I think sometimes he wants people to take a stand themselves, to take that one step forward so they can become that little bit stronger and grow. Doing the right thing isn't always dictated by the rules, its doing what's best for the people you care about and thinking of yourself second. If you fail then maybe someone else will still be inspired by your actions and eventually achieve your goal for you. Isn't that why your family continued to pass down its legacy of being a Blade? So that you could continue their good work."

Tray's brow creased as he struggled with his own fear and my words.

"I... I don't...."

The sound of a door opening and closing had us both freezing and looking up like startled rabbits. When the sound of footsteps disappeared into the direction of the privy I let out a heavy exhale of relief, looking back to Tray to find edging away from the cage side and back towards the tattered banner, bucket and ladle in hand.

"Tray please wait!" I pleaded, not only wanting him to stay so I could convince him to help but because the sudden thought of being left along again had my blood running cold.

"I can't, I... I have to go, I'm sorry." He mumbled.

I watched him disappear back into the shadows with a heavy heart as the darkness seemed to crepe back over me and my hopes of rescue dwindled.

"Its ok, I understand," I sighed quietly out loud, knowing he was likely already out of earshot. I was fighting back tears and the urge to scream after him in frustration but knew it would be pointless. I had no right to be mad at him. "Thank you for the water Tray, your a brave man."

I couldn't blame him for being scared, for wanting to survive. After all, we were all in the same metaphorical boat in that regard. At least now I could die with some answers.

So I waited, lifelessly looking out from my cage and watching as night slowly turned to day with only my thoughts and fear for company. Shifting my numb limbs every now and then to ease the aches. People began moving about the camp and going about their work and I watched and waited for something to happen, my anxiety increasing with each passing hour until I felt like A jittering mess and feared would burst out of my own skin at any given moment. 

Eventually the sun rouse high enough into the sky and my ropes were cut. I was dragged unceremoniously from my cage by Clyde who was no longer in drag, instead wearing a outfit of dark leathers with twin serrated short swords strapped to his back. My stiff body protested the movement and I barely contained my pained whimpers, my back and shoulder would not stop twitching with the strain of being kept in the one position for far too long. I was forced to stand, a hand tangled painfully in my hair and a knife pressed to my ribs, my own hands reflexively grabbing at his wrists to try and pry him off to no effect. I was too weak in my current state to do more than dig in my nails which did nothing to deter him.

"Hello again Herald," Volkards second rasped in my ear, his rank breath fanning across the side of my face as he nudged me forwards and began leading me across to where everyone was gathering in the centre of the encampment forming a circle of men. My stomach felt like it had been filled with lead, but I swallowed hard.

_Don't let them see your fear, just breath. Think of dragons...._

"Shouldn't you be trying on skirts?" I quipped dully, jerking away only to have him pull me sharply back.

 "Cute." He snarled. "It's to bad Volkard didn't let me have some fun with you while I had the chance."

To my utmost disgust the creep leaned down and breathed deeply at the base of my neck before running his tongue up to my ear. I recoiled and cried out in horror.

_Euw, euw euw euw. Euw!. Oh my God gross!_

Clyde just pulled me back hummed thoughtfully. "Such a waste."

"Screw you!" I hissed, trying to send my elbow into his gut only to feel the sharp tip of his knife dig painfully into my side.

"Uh, uh, uh." He chastised playfully. "Play nice little Herald. We don't want this over too soon. Volkard wants a show."

I suddenly recalled Trays words about hearing his friends screams from Volkards hut and the image of the mutalated body in the cage came swimming unabidon to my mind.

I felt my breathing spead up as panic began to set in. My legs felt like rubber.

_I don't want to do this!_ My head screamed. _Get out, get out of here and get away._

 But I couldn't. While time had crawled by at a snails pace overnight it was moving now and far to quickly running out. This was it. I didn't even register Clydes parting comment as he threw me roughly into the circle of bandits, my heart thundering too loud in my ears to hear anything else. Stumbling gracelessly to my knees I found myself looking down at a pair of  blood red boots, my eyes trailing upwards to find the rest of Valkard and his gaudy armour. His silver hatched resting casually over one shoulder, his other hand idling spinning the handle of a worn short sword.

"Herald of Andraste," he spoke loudly. "Let's see which of us the Maker favours."

The short sword was lazily tossed to land before me, its dull edge standing out against the dirty mud. I swallowed dryly.

_“A sword is not a toy. It is a tool, it has only one purpose: to injure and to kill.... If you are not prepared to take that step then you have no business holding a sword.”_

Now death was staring me in the face I had a choice to make...

Did I pick up the sword?

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	24. The Bigger Blade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not going to just stand here and let you hurt me..."
> 
> Time to fight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, early update Yay!  
> Title of this chapter based off one of Seras comments, seemed appropriate :)  
> A lot of action coming up. I hope you all enjoy.

 

## The Bigger Blade ## 

 

 

Solas

 

As dawn broke out over the Storm Coast Solas looked tiredly out at the temporary rest camp they'd set up on the edge of a cliff face. The small group had taken turns getting a few measly hours of sleep while the others continued to search for signs of the illusive Blades of Hessarian and their missing Herald. He'd only just managed to get a hour or two of restless sleep himself and awoke to find The Iron Bull and Cassandra returning back, grim faced and shaking their heads at the voiceless question on everyone's mind.

_Any sign of her?_

Despite having searched all day and most of the night they hadn't been successful, and the failure was weighing down on everyone's shoulders. Tensions were high and tempers short. Most conversation between party members resulted in harsh words and biting comments. Several times small arguments had almost come to blows, Bull having to step in to physically separate Cassandra and Varric on three separate occasions for fear someone was going to get hurt.

"For fucks sake," the Qunari had growled the last time. Shoving Cassandra back and firmly holding the dwarf in place with an arm across his chest. "Get it together. All this bickering isn't helping her. Honestly I didn't realise how much you all relied on the poor girl to stop you from ripping each other's throats out. No wonder Evies so strung out and anxious."

Hearing the Qunari speak so familiarly about Evelyn had the Fade expert fuming.

"You presume to know her better than us," he'd seethed. "You've barely known her a day. And during that time that you'd declared yourself her bodyguard she gets kidnapped by bandits! You're hardly living up to expectations, or are you Ben Hassrath?"

"Watch yourself Mage," Bull had rumbled darkly. "I'm only your enemy if you want me to be."

In hind sight Solas had to admit his words had been uncalled for. As much as he'd like to blame any one individual for the current predicament they found themselves in, the Heralds capture was a failure on all their parts. Even Sera who'd been oddly quiet post her recovery couldn't have done anything more to protect Evelyn, though the other elf was certainly doing a good job of blaming herself anyway. It was strange that Solas actually found himself missing the annoying girls usual hyperactive and crass manor. As much as Sera bothered him seeing her so morose was an unsettling thing.

At the moment the other elf was sitting with her legs pulled up to her chest while she miserably plucked at the feathers off one of her arrows. The image would have been enough to probably make Evelyn cry and run over to the girl and try to fix whatever trouble she may be suffering. It made the older elf even more aware of the young women's absence. Bull was right, their unlikely group unknowingly relied on the kind and placid Evie to balance out and mediate the different characters of their party. There was a reason that Varric had aptly dubbed her Sunshine.

And her not being there with him just made everything seem more dull and gloomy.

Solas shock his head from that train of thought. Becoming too attached to the girl was foolish. Especially after the incident outside the wolves den in the Hinterlands, he needed to distance himself. He'd been careless, allowed himself to get too close and had almost crossed a line he shouldn't even be considering. She was human after all, not one of his people. It didn't matter how sweet, kind or captivating he found her. Let alone how soft she'd felt as she straddled him, how perfectly she'd fit against his body or how much he'd hungered for those soft lips, those breathless little whimpers she'd made when he'd stroked her neck...

 _No!_ No, those thoughts were too dangerous.

_Too tempting._

For the time being his focus needed to be on closing the Breach and for that he needed her alive and safe at his side. In the meantime someone needed to bring their party back together, otherwise the chances of getting her back at all were slim.

With a sigh Solas stood himself up and made his way over to where Sera sat. All the while she watched him with wary eyes, after all they never really had seen eye to eye in the past.

"What?" She dead panned as he sat down besides her.

"You couldn't have done anything more than you did Sera." He reasoned trying to give some form of comfort. "You should not be so hard on yourself."

"Still wasn't enough," She mumbled darkly, angrily stabbing at the dirt with the point of her arrow.

"Chin up Buttercup," Varric said gruffly as he came to join them handing out bowls of breakfast oats to the two elves before sitting down and taking out a rag to oil his crossbow. "We'll get her back."

"Not if she's already dead we won't," Sera replied her eyes going a bit watery before she frowned and shock her head violently. "Piss! I'm not thinking it! I'm not!"

"If they wanted her dead they would have just killed her and you instead of going to the trouble of taking her. They had every opportunity to." Bull rumble from across small camp. "Good chance she's still alive, they may even be planning to ransom her off."

Sera seemed to brighten a little prospect. Solas didn't have the heart to voice the other concerns for the Heralds well being he knew everyone else was considering. After all there were worse things to suffer than death. He was sure the Qunari knew that all too well. But no one wanted to be the one who say it out loud. The thought alone made his blood boil with rage, making it difficult to keep his magic under control.

_If someone had laid even a finger on her....._

Instead he said, "She's stronger than she seems Sera, I wouldn't underestimate her."

"It doesn't matter how strong she is we still need to find her," Cassandra said harsh word covering her own concern and already repacking her gear. "We should move out s-"

"Shh-" The Seeker was interrupted when Bull held up a massive hand and looked out into the trees, appearing to be listening hard. They all fell silent and waited.

"We got company coming." He murmured eventually.

"How many?" Cassandra asked moving to his side with her sword out.

"Just the one," he replied lowly while the Solas picked up his staff and the others loaded their weapons. "Spy?"

"Or emissary," Varric muttered. "Could be coming with information for an exchange."

"Either way we want them alive," Cassandra ordered looking towards the Mage. "Can you contain them quickly?"

The elf felt his face twist into a smug and eager smile.

"Easily," he all but purred.

They waited in silence as whoever it was drew closer, the loud rustling and panting breaths easily giving away his approach. If he was a spy he was a awful one. Solas was already preparing his spell by the time a young man tumbled out of the tree line. With a satisfying realise of power the Mage sent out a sheet of glacial ice to sweep across the ground and up the young man's body encasing him in a thick prison of solid ice up to his sternum and trapping him completely.

The intruder yelped and struggled looking around wildly.

"Wait! Wait don't kill me!" he cried shrilly.

"Give me a reason not to," dared Cassandra fiercely pointing her sword at his chest. "You are one of them aren't you? A Blade of Hessarian."

"Makers balls!" He squeaked trying to arch away from the point of her blade. "I came to find you for help. She said you would help!"

"Who?" Cassandra demanded.

"The Herald of Andraste, Evie! She told me to call her Evie." He replied earnestly, Solas found his breath hitching when he heard her name on the man's lips.

_She was alive._

"Sure she did," Sera said sarcastically glaring at the man. "Not falling for it."

"I swear It's true she told me to come find you, that you'd help," he pleaded. "That you were good people and you would listen."

"Making friends with her captor, telling them to seek us for help. Got to admit that does sound like something she'd do," Varric muttered under his breath.

"Is the Herald alright? Where is she?" Solas asked coming forward and staring down the man intently. Desperate for information.

"She's at our hide out. She was alright when I left but she's in danger."

"No shit," Growled Bull glaring at the man. "I assume your people didn't kidnap her to give her relaxing spa day."

"No, I mean not my people, our leader Volkard. He going to force her to fight him at midday today."

Cassandra cocked a suspicious brow.

"And your telling us this why?"

"Because Volkards a monster, most of us despise him. If someone defeats him in battle then we can be free of him. But Evie said she wouldn't do it. Said she wasn't going to kill anyone."

"That does sound like something she'd say," said Cassandra letting out an exasperated sigh and lowering her sword to cross her arms across her chest.

"She said you had the Mercy's Crest. I could lead you to our compound and you can challenge him before he kills her." Their captive continued hopefully.

"Or we could force you to tell us the location and just storm the place," Bull said leering frightfully at the man.

"Please, my brothers don't deserve to die because of Volkard and his goons. We just want to be rid of him. Evie understood, she said you'd help."

Cassandra made a frustrated noise and muttered a low curse.

"Soft hearted fool of a girl." She muttered under her breath.

"Well Seeker, what do we do?" Varric asked. "If this kids willing to lead us I say let him, we stick to the original plan. Less people have to die."

"Solas let him go," She said reluctantly and the elf realised the spell leaving the bandit weak legged and sprawled on the ground. Bull was quick to snatch him up and relieve him of his weapons.

Cassandra turned her dark eyes to the young man and pointed her finger in his face.

"You will tell us everything."

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Evie

 

I stared down at the weapon, reading every scratch mark and scuff on it's dull surface. It was just a piece of steel melted into a shape, harmless by itself until someone picked it up. But how many people had he forced to take up this weapon?

_I didn't want this...._

 Swallowing dryly I looked up at Volkard, his own weapon sitting lazily across his shoulder. He was going to use that sharpened edge of his hatchet to make me suffer before he ended my life in some twisted attempt to keep control of his band of thugs.

I couldn't just let him do that. If I died there would be no one to close the Rifts. The Inquisition would retaliate and wipe out the Blades. All these men, even the ones like Tray who just wanted their heritage to survive.

Taking a slow look around the ring of men which kept me trapped on this small battle field I found myself trying to assess the Blades of Hessarian. Both old and young the faces of Blades showed varying degrees of distaste and regret with he odd supporter of Volkard appearing bright and eager for the show. Among them I didn't recognise anyone familiar. Tray was nowhere to be seen, probably he didn't want to see the whole exchange. I didn't blame him, but couldn't help the sudden empty feeling of loneliness that swept over me. It would have been nice to have at least one friendly face nearby, even if he was still pretty much a stranger to me. At least he would be sad to see me die.

"I don't use a sword," I eventually said uncertainly.

He raised an eyebrow and smiled mockingly.

"I have been generous enough to provide you with a weapon for the challenge, you should be grateful I've done that." He declared teasingly. "It would be dishonourable not to accept it Lady Herald, not to mention very stupid."

_Dishonourable.....?_

With a shaking hand I picked up the sword from the mud and stood on trembling legs to appose the leader of the Blades of Hessarian. He grinned, like everything he ever wanted was falling into place.

_Screw that. To hell with what he wanted!_

"Your kidding me right?" I said, my voice quivering with anger and disbelief. "You force an untrained, scared girl to fight you in front of a crowd after you kept her tied up and starved in a cage out in the cold rain. While you stand there fully armoured and well rested. And you want to talk about honour?!"

When he looked about to respond I whipped the sword around furiously so it pointed to Volkards throat and stared him dead in the eye, the mark on my palm crackling angrily and menacingly at my side. The man looked stunned by my sudden out burst, taking a half step back.

"I see what you are Volkard," I hissed out. "You are a coward, a sneak and a fraud. You think these tricks and displays of power make you a man worthy of following? You have turned a once noble group into a pack of thugs and murderers. The world is being over run with fucking demons for gods sake, yet you sit here hiding behind your walls claiming to do the Makers will. You are a joke! They deserve better and I pray to the Maker that they will see you for what you are and find the strength to be rid of you. Because I wont let you use me to make you look stronger."

With out breaking eye contact I tossed the sword to the side where it splattered into a nearby puddle. A murmur of astonishment ran through the gathered on lookers.

"What are you doing?" Volkard growled, looking about his men in nervous anger. "Pick that up!"

I stood defiant.

"No, not because you tell me to. I'm not giving you a reason to attack me, I wont be your accuse. You can't explain this off as anything other than what it truly is. Murder plain and simple. You want to start this then you start this by attacking an unarmed woman like the weakling you are. I'm not going to try and kill you Volkard because I'm not letting you manipulate me for your own whim."

For a moment he stared in shock then he began to laugh, loud and long and manically.

"Stupid, stupid girl," he cackled. "You think your pretty words will change anything. If you will not fight then that's your problem. I gave you a chance."

"A chance?!" I screeched in annoyance. "You've done everything possible to make this fight go in your favour. I had no chance and we all know it."

He shrugged and sauntered closer swinging his hatchet off his shoulder as he did. I took a few cautious steps back.

"This isn't some childs story Herald," he said softly as he advanced. "I do what I have to do to survive. You want a fair fight sweetheart, well too bad! Life isn't fair. You should have kept that sword."  

And with that the leader of the Blades of Hessarian attacked.

He lunged forwards with a shout and slashed at my right side, a toying strike ment to cause injury and pain but not death. But I'd been expecting that, twisting to the side I let him pass me by, his weapon grazing my side with a sharp sting. Then with speed I didn't even know I possessed I reached out and grabbed the back of the hand holding his hatchet. I wasn't strong enough to hold a man like him in place for long but he hadn't been expecting me to catch hold of him and faltered his movements in confussion, giving me a chance to twist back so we were standing side to side, draw up my free arm and ram my elbow back into his face with all the strength I could muster. Feeling his nose crunch painfully and his blood spatter against my skin.

He realed back howling and clutching at his face while I skipped away a few steps, stopping briefly to pick up the sword I'd thrown away earlier.

 _Holy crap that had actually worked!_ Not only had it worked, it had gone so smoothly it could have been choreographed by those guys that made Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon!

_..... Damn I was bad ass!_

Volkard stared at me shaking in anger as he whipped blood of his face and now mangled nose, furious eyes falling down to the sword I'd picked up.

"What the fuck was that? You trying to fool me little bitch?" he seethed. "All those pretty words just a trick so I wouldn't finish you off."

I shrugged, shaking where I stood but staring back unflinching. 

"I said a wasn't going to kill you and I wont, I didn't lie." I said softly but clearly. "But I didn't say I wasn't going to fight back if I could, I'm not going to just stand here and let you hurt me, I do plan on defending myself. I'm not playing your sick little game Volkard."

It was a stupid thing to do, I was just asking for more trouble. He wasn't going to go easy on me now that I'd embarrassed him and I still couldn't win. But I wasn't going to dance to this pricks sadistic tune. Turns out I had a stubborn side after all. What an unfortunate time for it to rear its head.

 "You think you're better than me cunt?!" He yelled, furious that I was undermining him in front of his men.

"I don't think I'm better than anyone," I answered, my mouth twisted and nose wrinkled in disgust. "But I _know_ you are no better than Mabari shit."

He roared in rage and came at me again. Catching his strike on my sword and awkwardly deflecting it I stumbled back. I had no idea what I was doing, my experience with sword involved defending myself against them with my staff. Actually using one was a foreign concept to me but as a barrier between me and the sharp edge of Volkards axe it was better than nothing. I tried to mimic my memories of Cullens stance and position during our training and Cassandras actions during the fights we'd had out on the road. Sometimes it worked, I even landed a few bruises and cuts on my opponent. But I was out matched, in an ugly fight that resulted in a lot of scrabbling and unconventional opportunistic and messy hits. As Volkard attacked with blow after blow I managed to deflect a few strikes but not all, most ended up hitting home, if not from his weapon then by his first which connected more often than not. A back handed strike to my cheek, a punch to my ribs, kidney, a kick to my ankle, several slices to my arms, my side. All painful but none life threatening so I pushed through. With each injury I stifled a scream and tried to ignore the pain and the thoughts that someone was intentionally doing this to me. And Volkard smiled, grinning in ecstasy with each winning attack. Again and again I was knocked down only to scramble back up, covered in mud and dripping blood but still breathing. And that's what was important, because every minute I spent still alive was a victory against him.

But my victories couldn't last much longer. Fighting was an exhausting thing under normal circumstances, let alone when half starved and dehydrated. I was slowing down, my movements getting sloppier. My opponent recognising my wanning focus and energy instead of pressing the advantage and taking me out cleanly began to step back for moments at a time, laughing or taunting me before coming back in to attack in petty ways. Kicking my legs out from under me or pulling me off balance only to sit back and watch as I struggled to my feet, breath coming out in exerted huffs and gasps.

It was degrading.

Finally Volkard seemed to tire of playing with me. After I managed to place four deep angry scratch marks across his neck during a nasty grappling session he retaliated by aiming an angry slash at my right thigh, cutting deep through the leather of my pants and layers of skin and muscle. I screamed. My leg no longer able to hold me up without  suffering intense pain. I hit the ground clutching at the wound in panic.

 _Had he hit the artery?_ I knew there was a major one around that area and there was a lot of blood. If he had I would soon bleed out and it would all be over.

"It seems Andraste has abandoned you Herald," Volkard bragged lazily kicking aside the dropped sword and hovering over me. "This is where you die."

I glared up at him hopelessly as he casually twirled his weapon then raised it high.

_Was this really it? Why didn't I feel more.... I don't know ... final._

 

 

Then a voice rang out, loud and clear and powerful.

"HOLD! On behalf of the Inquisition I, bearing the Mercy's Crest, hereby challenge the leader of the Blades of Hessarian! Immediately!"

_..._

_No way. No fucking way!_

It wasn't possible. I couldn't possibly be this bloody lucky. I couldn't believe it, the timing was unbelievable! But there was no mistaking that thick accent.

I turned, along with everyone else in the compound, as the circle of men parted near the gate allowing Cassandra to storm through. Her face stern and beautiful, dark eyes furious. Her armour shining with tiny rivers of rain running down the emblem on her shield. And she wasn't alone. To her right marched my favourite mouthy dwarf with Bianca held at the ready. To her left stood The Iron Bull, his massive form and terrifying scowl enough to make the nearby Blades cower. And in his shadow walked a pale faced Tray, his shoulders set and determined. My face felt like it was splitting in two with the force of my grin. He'd found and bought my friends here, Tray had actually done it and convince them to still use the crest and issue a challenge. For some reason I was filled with unexpected pride that the Blade had been so brave and defied his leader.

And then I realised something. Both Solas and Sera were missing. My heart sank with sudden dread and worry. I hadn't even thought about what had happened to the others during the fight at the hill top, to preoccupied with my own capture.  _What was wrong with me?_ I had stupidly just assumed they would be alright like they always were. But they weren't here. _Had they been injured or worse_? Sera after all had been left defenceless after the knock out grenade potion just as I had been, anything could have happened to her. And Solas certainly wouldn't willingly sit back if he thought I was in danger. Or at least I didn't think he would, the elf was always so adamant about keeping me alive, surely he would come if he could.

"Cassandra-?!" I called anxiously, desperately wanting to find out if the two elves were ok only to be painfully interrupted when Volkards boot pressed heavily down on my wounded thigh.

I screamed, the edges of my vision going white as I fell back onto the ground clutching at the wound.

_Son of a two bit toothless whore bastard! That bloody hurt!_

 "Shut it," Volkard growled eyeing my friends while his mind quickly tried to adjust to this sudden change.

"Get off her!" Cassandra ordered angrily. "I have challenged you and am now your opponent. I demand you let the Herald go!"

Volkard chose to ignore Cassandra instead jerking his head to the side and signally Clyde to come forward. His second appearing over his shoulder to speak lowly in his leaders ear.

"What do we do?" Clyde whispered his eyes seeming stuck on Bulls furious face as he swallowed thickly.

"If I don't except the fucking zealots will have an excuse to oppose me. We have no choice. Take the little bitch," He replied lowly. "I'll finish her off properly once I've dealt with this ridiculous challenge. Be ready to release the dogs if I give the word."

Clyde nodded smiling nastily before reaching down and practically lifting me to my feet by my upper arm. I bit back a pained sob tried to balance on one good leg while Clyde pull me into his front and held me there with a knife to my throat, deliberately letting it drag against my skin. My friends looked on grim faced and pissed off.

"Hold on Sunshine, we'll get you outta here soon." Varric called out firmly. "The Seekers been itching to kill this guy all night, it'll be over quick."

I felt a few tears roll unwanted down my cheek and gave him a watery smile.

"Much appreciated," I said voice cracking with emotion.

_They came...._

 Volkard sauntered forward the picture of confidence looking Cassandra up and down not looking overly concerned with his new opponent. Cassandra was a strong women but even being on the tall side she was still a women, and Volkard was a big guy. Even armoured up she was small compared to his size. Despite her fierce looks from the outside it would be hard to imagine Cassandra had the strength and skill available to take out someone so large. Volkard was not expecting her to be any real challenge.

_Stupid chauvinistic pig._

 "So _you_ would challenge the Blades of Hessarian?" He asked dramatically.

Cassandra stepped forward boldly, face a mask unrestrained anger and her voice full of cold fury.

"You killed soldiers of The Inquisition and kidnapped The Herald of Andraste. We will not let this stand." She yelled, drawing free her sword and spinning it expertly. Suddenly the Seekers presence seemed to have magnified, she looked taller, broader despite not actually having grown. Something about her body language had changed and there was no denying Volkard was now facing a deadly opponent. 

Volkard seemed to shift anxiously, realising he may actually be in trouble here. He looked about quickly searching the faces of his order and allies and licking his lips in a nervious gesture. He was looking for a way out, trying to figure out if he could get away with ordering a full on attack.

_Couldn't have that now could we?_

"What's that matter?" I called cheekily from Clydes hold. "Afraid her _blade's_ bigger than yours."

Then I snorted at my own stupid joke, then laughed because I'd just snorted and that was embarrassing. To my utmost pleasure I heard several of Volkards men trying to stifle chuckless of their own. Many people present didn't even bother trying to hide their amusement including a very loud "HA!" from The Iron Bull. I looked up to see the giant Qunari grinning at me and offering me a thumbs up. Varric had covered his face with his hand and was shaking his head while his shoulders heaved with laughter. Cassandra looked exasperated, frowning directly at me with a look that read _"Really, did you have to make a penis joke at a time like this?"_

Which set me off even more. It was quite possible I was suffering from a severe adrenalin let down, or that the blood loss and exhaustion had me going a bit loopy. Or maybe I'd finally just snapped under the strain. Either way I was finding it hard to get my giggles under control.

"S-orry," I gasped trying to get myself together. "But that would explain so much... compensation wise."

Volkards checks flushed pink and he glared my way. He was not amused.

_Spoil sport._

 "Clyde," he snarled.

I was spun about sharply to find Clydes all to happy face smiling at me. Then I felt his fist connect solidly to my stomach, feeling more like a wrecking ball than a hand.

" _Hurk-!"_ I heaved as the wind was knocked out of me, I wanted to fall to the ground but the bastard held me upright as I gasped and coughed.

 _I may have deserved that_. _But at least it stopped the giggles._

"You might want to avoid doing that again buddy." Varric called out darkly, jerking his head towards Bull while he pointed Bianca's aim right between Clydes eyes. "Me and Tiny over here have got you in our sight. Touch her again and you'll loose yours." 

I felt Clyde swallow nervously and pull me more across his body like a shield as Bull let out a deep growling rumble from his chest and gripped his war axe tight enough I could hears his knuckle popping from across the yard.

_Holy shit my friends were scary!_

 "Enough!" Cassandra growled stalking further into the yard. "Let us end this."

Volkard walked forwards to meet her in the middle, collecting a small round shield off one on the circling men in the process.

"Fine. You want justice? Claim it!"

He charged, Cassandra deflected with her sword and went in for a shield bash which he counter with one of his own before they both jumped back and circled each other. Then they attacked again, steel hit steel as blows were traded and they danced. Volkard held his own quite well for a time, he had skill. Looking at it from the outside I could see his attacks mostly relied on raw force but he hit strategically, thinking his attacks through the way Cullen had been teaching me and mixing those strikes with dirty trixs and moves meant to undermine or put his opponent off balance. I started to wonder if he'd had some kind of military back ground before becoming what he was now. The thought made me sad, made me pity the man and his choices that had lead him here. Because even with those skill he was no match for Cassandra. He got in a few hits but after a time Cassandra had him figured out and had seen through his moves and defences. Eventually she was the one who tired of the game, her hits built up becoming harder and more accurate and Volkard struggled to keep his ground, before he even realised what was happening Cassandra had sliced a deep cut on his shield arm rendering it useless. Wide eyed and in pain the leader of the Blades of Hessarian stumbled back and looked frantically around the surrounding men, his eyes eventually landing on Clyde and me.

 "Clyde now!" He yelled.

I felt the motion of Clyde nodding behind me before I was abruptly shoved away and pitched down to the grown, Volkards second making a mad dash to the Mabari cages. Intending to let the snarling beasts out to aid their master.

"Oh no you don't," I growled lowly. Pulling myself painfully to my feet, I managed to take two steps after the man before I could feel my leg beginning to give way again. In a desperate bid to stop him I launched myself forward to tackle him around his middle and came up short, my hands grasping clumsily at his waist and getting a hold of fist fulls of material and leather in the process. I heard something rip before I fell forward and hit the ground face first. Still holding the material I'd caught I looked up and immediately regretted doing so.

I'd certainly stopped Clyde in his tracks. Unable to move forward due to risk of tripping or just plain surprise as the cold air hit large expanses of bare skin that had suddenly been exposed to the elements, the man stood stock still and frozen in place.

Because I'd just managed to accidently pull down Clydes trousers, underclothes and all.

And I was staring right up at him at a _really_ bad angle.

And I could see everything. _Everything!_

Every pale hairy inch of everything.

My face went scarlet.

So did Clydes.

_OH MY GAWD MY EYES!_

"Well.... No wonder you could pass for a woman." I croaked eventually when I got over the shock. "Didn't really have much to hide did you?"

Clyde spluttered and grabbed hastily at his pants trying to hitch them back up. I didn't stop him, I didn't want to see him any longer than I already had. As he turned his furious gaze to me several things happened at once.

Volkard gave a pained scream and began yelling in panic.

"No! No more. Kill them! Forget the fucking challenge. I am your leader and I order you all to kill them!" 

At the same time Volkard gave his orders there was a large bang and part of the tall spiked wall across the courtyard blew forward in a mess of splintered wood and dust. A handful of figures wearing Inquisition gear spilled into the courtyard lead by a lean figure holding a staff.

_Solas?!_

My companions must have prepared for the possibility of the challenge falling apart. They had reinforcements!

The compound erupted into a flurry of movement and noise as chaos ensued. Volkards supporters jumped in to assist their leader, Cassandra having to suddenly defend herself against an onslaught of new opponents. Many of the Blades began yelling and fighting amongst themselves either in support of Volkard or in anger at his blatant disregard for their ancient traditions. Varric and Bull were rushing into the fray trying to target the right men and help out Cassandra in all the madness and unable to get through the swarming men to get to me. Several of the Blades just ran for cover, not knowing which side to take or just trying to stay alive.

Before I could make a move to join my friends I was interrupted by Clyde who let out a low eager chuckle, dark eyes shinning as he looked down at me, one hand still holding up his ruined pants.

"Looks like we aren't playing by the rules any more little Herald," He purred, withdrawing one of his wicked looking swords with his free hand. "Guess I'll get to have some fun with you after all."

_Oh come on! Seriously did this shit never end?_

With a cry he plunged his sword down towards my head and I rolled to the side, grabbing a handful of mud as I went. I came up on my knees more than a metre away with Clyde closing in again, this time he lunged straight towards my chest. As I threw myself to the side I hurled my handful of mud at his face and he recoiled as the improvised missile splattered against his neck, over his left eye and up towards his temple. He ended up missing me entirely and slipping with the extra momentum behind the attack. Clyde landed sprawled behind me, dropping his blade as he skidding in the mud. Seeing an opportunity I dove for the weapon just as he scrambled for it himself. Both our hands closed around the swords hilt and we began a childish tug of war for survival. I added a second hand to the swords grip and almost had the weapon for my own until his other hand came out of nowhere forming a fist which he sent straight into the side of my head.

I saw stars, bright flashes of light spluttering across my field of vision followed closely by intense throbbing pain. I didn't even realise I'd been knocked back down until I saw the shadowy form of Clyde hovering over me both hands holding the sword and pointing it down towards my chest. Ready to run me through.

Until a flaming boot and adjoining leg came sailing across my field of vision and into his chest sending him rolling back with a grunt. My saviour came to stand in front of me a set of daggers in hand, bow and quiver strapped securely to her slight back, her plain and simple leather breast plate and plaid weave leggings bathed with flickering red fire.

 _That pun_ _ch must have knocked something loose,_ I thought blearily. _Because for some reason I'm seeing Sera on fire._

 _"_ What the-" Clyde stammered looking up at the elf in surprise.

"Your not the only one who can play with potions Ass Biscuit," She chirped spinning her daggers.

She leapt on him, using her blades like a set of fangs and sending them towards the mans chest. He countered only to yelp in pain as Seras flames licked at his skin making it bubble up into red and blistered patches on his forearms and hands. He scrambled back and tried to run only to become tangled as his pants fell back down to his shins.

Sera cackled happily.

"Caught ya with ya breeches down did I? Isn't that just precious?" She sneered before slashing angrily at his chest, deep groves appearing in his leather armour. He fell back to the ground a look of fear in his eyes as she knocked aside his own attack and advanced.

"W-wait, Wait!" He pleaded.

She didn't, one dagger was quickly buried into Clydes sternum, the other run across his throat leaving a line of red in its wake.

I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see that. No matter how big of a sleaze he had been I didn't want to see such a brutal end.

"Hey?!"

A small hand slapped gently on my cheek. Re-opening my lids I looked up to Seras round freckled features, her brow and mouth puckered with concern and nervous worry.

"Come on, stop dying you!" She demanded anxiously.

"Ok." I said on a soft laugh, my voice getting choked when I realised what this meant. "Sera... I'm so glad you're ok. I thought..."

"Me?" She said in surprise helping me to sit up and pull me to my feet making my head swim dizzily. "I should be saying that to you!"

"Were you just on fire, or did I imagine that?" I mumbled in confusion, swaying on my legs until she swung my arm over her narrow shoulders to support me.

"No time to explain, we gotta move." The archer said leading me away as quick as she could while I hobbled along besides her. "Need to get you to his elfy-ness."

"Solas?" I clarified noticing that the fighting had died down leaving several bodies lying on the muddy ground and many Blades standing about looking either lost or victorious.

"Yeah," Sera answered looking down at my leg and making a disgusted face. "That don't look so good. Messy."

"Doesn't feel so great either," I replied wincing just as a familiar man made his way through the crowd. His sharp profile turning this way and that as he searched, piercing blue gaze finally landing on where we stood.

"Evelyn," he breathed out in relief hurrying forward.

As soon as he was close enough I stepped out from Sera and practically threw myself into his hold, breathing in his familiar earth and parchment smell. Letting it ground me as the events of today slowly sunk in.

_They'd come for me. It was all over._

"Solas..." I said shakily, somehow managing to stop myself from bursting into tears.

The Mage was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around me and allowing me to bury my face in his vest, one of his hands cradling the back of my head encouraging me to hide away in his embrace. I let myself sag in relief as he began murmuring words of elvish into my hair.

_It was ok. They were all ok._

_I_ _was safe now._

 _"_ Right don't mind me, you were gettin' too heavy to hold up anyway." Sera called in mock annoyance. "You should watch yourself Solas. The Heralds got a thing for nicking breeches."

I let out a short startled laugh the broke into peels of undignified giggles while Solas looked down at me with concern.

"What are you talking about?" He asked Sera still holding my shaking body to him.

"It was an accident!" I defended my voice muffled through the fabric of Solas's clothes.

"Riiight. Sure it was." She teased skipping away. "You keep telling yourself that old touched Lady Herald."

I groaned in embarrassment and looked up at Solas. "I swear I didn't dack the man on purpose!"

He smiled indulgently at me, the sight made my heart skip a beat.

"Hmmm, Is that so? I believe Sera may be a bad influence on you."

"It was an accident!!!"

He chuckled warmly and tucked a lock of stray hair back behind my ear, his fingers brushing my skin making it tingle. When his gaze fell to the side of my face where Clyde had struck me his handsome face darkened into a scowl.

"You're a mess Evelyn," he said, piercing eyes traveling down the rest of me taking in the rest of my dishevelled appearance.

"Well my accommodations over night were.... well pretty awful to be honest." I replied wincing at the comment and pathetically trying to wipe some mud off my chest before realising I was making things worse by adding blood to the already ruined material. I gave up with a frustrated sigh and looked to him with a forced smile.  "But on the bright side I've gain a new appreciation of our tents. They're certainly better than sleeping in dog cages."

"Let's get you fixed up Evelyn, I'll need to clean those wound before I can heal them." He said with a sad smile.

I nodded my thanks and let him steer me towards one of the few buildings in the compound. Quietly thrilled that he kept me held close to his side with a hand resting comfortably on my hip, I couldn't help the warmth that settled low in my belly at the gesture.

 

_Stupid logic betraying hormones. Now really wasn't the time._

 

_........_

 

 _Oh to hell with it!_ I thought letting myself lean into his warmth. I'd cheated death at least twice today. I figured I deserved a little guilty pleasure.

Even if it wasn't going to last.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe sorry, bet a lot of you thought Evie was going to get her hands dirty in this chapter. Sorry to disappoint. Yes Evies going to toughen up, don't worry it will happen. I'd like to thinks already a bit stronger seeing as she sort of fought back in her own way, but I've got her journey already mapped out and you can't rush some things. She's a person and she is flawed and uncertain but that's what I wanted her to be. Spoilers I've even got the Chapter written when she has her first kill :) and I hate to brag but I love the twist I got coming on that one. Bet you lot can't guess who its going to be though, and yes that is a challenge and I want to hear your guesses.  
> Also thanking everyone one who has left a comment or a Kudos. You are amazing lovely people.


	25. Accepting Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can't we just leave those ones to heal themselves?" 
> 
> Evie needs a bit of help recovering from her ordeal, problem is she's a bit reluctant to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, Chapter 25.... I'm kind of surprised I've stuck with this and haven't given it up yet.   
> As a reward here's a fluffy chapter with a bit of bonding and nerding out.  
> Enjoy :)

 

## Accepting Help ##

 

I sat, draped in an old blanket and perched on the end of the lone table in the small one room shack that used to belong to the leader of the Blades of Hessarian. The late leader of the Blades of Hessarian, that is. As it turns out Cassandra was indeed able to finish off the vile man despite his attempts to escape the Seekers sword. While Bull and Varric held off Volkards lackeys Cassandra had gone in for the killing blow, by that time however the whole camp was in an uproar. Ten men had died in the fight including Volkard, Clyde, six of their followers and two other Blades who had opposed them during the fight. The numbers would have been worse if it wasn't for the extra Inquisition men that had been summoned as reinforcements. They were currently outside with Cassandra and my other companions trying to get things back under control and clear out the dead.

The Seeker had been in briefly to make sure I wasn't actually dying and to chastise me for being reckless and foolish and many other word that held the same overall meaning. I'd responded by giving her a tight hug and thanking her profusely for the rescue. It had worked well to derail her lecture and had the added bonus of making the stony women blush. It was cute. Until she realised just how much of a mess I was in and insisted on helping me get out of my ruined clothes which were torn and sodden with mud, blood and rain.

I had protested of course. Sending panicked looks over to where Solas stood by the door watching the exchange with an amused look. Cassandra rolled her eyes in exasperation and sent the elf out to retrieve some hot water then proceeded to man handle me out of my shirt, socks and pants. As embarrassing as it was I had to admit with all my injuries I don't think I'd have been able to do it myself, my pants in particular were very painful to remove over the large gash I was sporting. Turns out wearing tight leather like clothes had its draw backs.

At least the Seeker had been kind enough to let me keep my underclothes on until she could hunt down a change, though it was still too much skin showing for liking. The blanket helped a little with that. Cassandra had then told me to go lie down until Solas got back and had left to take charge somewhere else. The bed looked fairly reasonable for a bandit hide out but if Volkard had once slept in it I refused to touch it. So the table would have to do.

Which lead me a predicament of a different sort when my own personal healer returned carrying two large buckets of water and a bundle of rags tucked under his arm.

I may have squeaked in discomfiture before quickly drawing my legs up and cocooning myself more firmly in the blanket.

_Oh no, no no no no no. He was not seeing me like this!_

The Mage took one look at me and shook his head ruefully, he then proceeded to set up his things on the hard surface next to where I sat.

"You know," he said slowly as he added a small vial of something to one of the buckets and began soaking the rags. "I can't heal what I can't see da'len."

I scowled and pulled the blanket closer around me, tucking my bare legs further beneath the material as a felt my face heat.

_This was beyond embarrassing!_

"You can't just use magic and fix me up?" I asked hopefully. "Without... you know.... looking."

He frowned.

"Only if you want to lose that leg to infection," He said. "Your cuts require cleaning after all that mud you've been rolling in."

"Oh, right," I muttered still not dropping the blanket.

I didn't want anybody to see me half naked, it was just so... exposing. And I really didn't want Solas to see me as such. The mortification would be beyond words.

He sighed heavily and walked around to stand in front of me, placing his hands on my shoulders to make sure I was staring directly at him. The Mages piercing blue gaze looking me firmly in the eyes.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about Evelyn. I've been healing people for a long time, I doubt you have anything I haven't seen before." He placated.

I flushed deeper at that because it got me wondering just how many women Solas had seen like this.

_Don't go there brain. Just don't even..._

"I will need to see that leg Evelyn," He pressed when I still didn't make a move.

I sighed in defeat, "I know, just don't laugh at me or anything."

"You know me better than that Evelyn," He said lowly. "And I doubt you have anything to be self conscious about."

I stared at him still red faced and pouted, "You know you are quiet the sweet talker Solas, it's not playing fair."

He chuckled and reached for the blanket cautiously.

"May I?" he asked with a teasing smile.

I relented with an embarrassed groan. Snaking one arm out from under the blanket and tucking the material up under my arm I pulled back the edges of the blanket to reveal just the one leg stopping an inch or two short of my underwear. The wound was still oozing blood and it looked messy, the edges of it red and puffy. Solas frowned in concentration and gently prodded the surrounding skin making me wince and bite down on my lip.

"You were extremely lucky da'len," He murmured reaching for a wet rag. "It is deep, but it could have been worse. My apologies, this will most likely sting for a moment."

He was right it did sting, badly. No matter how gently he tried to tend to the wound. Forcing myself to bite back the pain I sat in silence for awhile alternating between watching him work and turning away when I felt my stomach churn from the gory sight. Back home something like this would require a few dozen stiches or staples and a good plastic surgeon to make sure it didn't leave a nasty scar, plus weeks of recovery. I suppose it was another benefit of travelling with a Mage. When he deemed to wound clean enough Solas splayed one of his long hands across the torn flesh and began to channel healing magic to the sight, his hands glowing with that clinical mint green colour.

"You know I don't think I'll ever get use to that," I said as the unpleasant tingling sensation began to spread out my leg, the damaged tissue mending itself back together slowly in front of my eyes.

"Oh? With all the trouble you seem to get into I imagine you will become accustomed to it sooner rather than later." He quipped smiling softly.

"Hey!" I protested trying to look angry even though I could feel myself smiling. "Some of us have spent our whole lives up til now not having to worry about people trying to kill them. I'm still working out how to avoid the actual danger."

He scoffed good naturedly.

"Granted from what you've told me of your home I must admit I am impressed you have survived this long. If I recall correctly you thought you might 'die' if you had to travel more than an hour without one of your self pulling carts. Your words might I add."

"You mean a 'car'," I corrected before frowning as I remembered something. "Actually there was something I wanted to run by you, about where I'm from. I just forgot with all that's been going on."

"Hmm?" He hummed thoughtfully, clearly distracted while withdrawing his hand from my leg and wordlessly gesturing for my arm. I held it out without question and he began inspecting and cleaning the cuts and bruises he could find.

"Some thing's been playing on my mind about this place since we left Val Royeaux," I continued as he worked. "Something Grand Enchanter Fiona said to us, well more specifically how she said it. There plenty of different countries here right? And different races with their own languages. I've heard you speak elven and Bull keep saying words that I think are in Qunari."

"Qunlat," Solas corrected idly.

"Thank you, Qunlat" I replied quickly. "Back home it's the same, there is almost two hundred different countries on earth and literally thousands of different languages spoken among them. English is what I speak and it's one of the most common or more universal language used, but if I was randomly dropped in some foreign country the likelihood I'd be able to communicate with anyone would be pretty slim. But here I understand you all perfectly, even your alphabet and lettering are pretty much the same. I mean what are the chances that not only do I wind up in an alternate world but one that speaks my language?"

Solas looked up from his work, scowling thoughtfully. "I hadn't even considered that line of thought, now that you mention it it's rather odd."

"I know right?" I said eagerly. "I have a few theories though."

He laughed and went back to his task of cleaning another cut and healing it. "I'm sure you do, knowing the way your mind works. What are your thoughts?"

I stuck my tongue out at him good naturedly.

"My first theory is the TARDIS theory." I declared grandly.

"Excuse me?" The elf asked looking puzzled.

I laughed at his expression and explained, happy to share this part of Earth culture.

"It's part of a TV show, one of those moving picture story telling things I told you about. The TARDIS is this fictionary blue box that can travel through time and space. When the people travelling in it find themselves in a place that speaks a different language the TARDIS kind of translates it for them in their heads, so even if someone is speaking say Italian to them they would hear it to be English and vice versa."

"Useful," The elf murmured thoughtfully before gesturing for my other arm which I had to sneak out carefully from underneath my blanket without letting it fall, now holding it up like a towel.

"It does cover up a lot of plot holes," I agreed. "I was thinking maybe whatever it was that brought me here could be doing something similar, or maybe in the process of getting here something rewired my brain to hear your language as English to me and gave me the knowledge to speak it."

"It would take a powerful spell or dark blood magic to affect someone's mind in such a manner and for it to continue to affect you. It's certainly a possibility, though not a pleasant one." Solas replied darkly.

"I have to admit it kind of bothered me a little bit to. I'm already concerned about my missing memories, adding to that the prospect of my mind possibly being tampered with..." I shuddered. "It makes me wonder if someone out there planned this whole thing and is pulling my strings from a distance."

"Not a pleasant idea, no." Solas agreed finishing with my arm and leaning closer to examine my face and neck. "What was your other theory?"

"Ur... huh? Right um..." I stammered suddenly distracted by his close proximity, and his gentle fingers using a wet rag to clean my face for me. _Holy crap, that felt a bit too intimate!_

"My.. er. My other thought is more realistic really. I was wondering if it's possible that maybe our worlds had already crossed paths before. Maybe long ago our two worlds have influence each other and the development of our basic languages has gone from there. That would explain a few other things as well. Like where we got the idea of elves and dwarfs and dragons and such in our stories back home. So many things that are myth and legend in my world but are history and fact in here can't just be coincidence. Similar concepts like that can't come from nowhere. Even if these things are believed to have come from someone's imagination or dreams then maybe we are connected through the Fade and that's how it's been passed unknowingly from one world to another."

"That does seem the more likely scenario," Solas said finishing up with my face and standing back to appraise me. "You've put a great deal of thought into this Evelyn. I'm impressed. Though I must ask what bought on this line of reasoning?"

"When Fiona said goodbye at Val Royeaux she said 'Au revoir.'" I answered proudly.

"I believe that's an old Orlessian word for farewell."

"I thought as much. We have the same word back home meaning the same thing but it's a different language called French. I mean what are the odds? That makes possibly two similar languages between different worlds!" I gushed excitedly.

"Fascinating. I wonder what other similarities there are?" He said his eyes alight with the pursuit of something new.

I smiled. Seeing the normally calm Solas so enthused about something and nerding out was always entertaining and being able to actually contribute ideas made me feel useful. Not to mention the more we could figure out about the links between Thedas and Earth the closer I was to getting home when all this was over.

"So are we done? Thank you for the healing Solas it already feels much better." I said cheerily, making a move to wiggle of the table. "Cassandra sure is taking her time with those clothes..."

"Hold a moment," Solas said trapping me on the tabled with a fast arm and gentle hand on my knee. "We are not done yet Evelyn."

"Sure we are," I said with a hopeful smile. "I'm all fixed and back together, you did a fantastic job-"

Solas wasn't buying it.

"Don't take me for a fool Herald. I saw the state of your tunic. I need to examine your side and ribs. For me to do that you need to drop that blanket and let me see you." The elf said looking at me sternly.

I felt my face burning as I bit my lip and held the blanket tighter to my chest. I really didn't want him to see me practically topless; he'd already seen enough of me as it was. I'd never really been confident in my looks and body. Even going to the beach I never went in a bikini set, I always wore a tankini and board shorts. Always feeling too exposed and embarrassed and not liking to show off a lot of skin. Granted my time in Thedas was slowly changing a lot of that extra softness into muscle, but a life time of self conscious behaviour was a hard thing to change.

"Can't we just leave those ones to heal themselves?" I mumbled.

"Certainly not." he replied narrowing his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. "Evelyn is there something wrong? You are being rather more difficult than normal. This is not like you."

I shifted nervously and fidgeted with the blanket. "I'm just... not comfortable having anyone see me like this. With no clothes, I'm not.... I just... It's embarrassing."

His face softened in sudden understanding before speaking in a calm and earnest tone. "I promise Evelyn I'm only looking for purely clinical reasons. I'm not judging you or your appearance."

I didn't know what was worse the fact that I was such a coward and needed the reassurance or the sudden disappointment that Solas didn't view me with anything other than professional concern. I forced down my stupid contradictive feelings and took a deep steadying breath while giving myself a mental pep talk.

_Man up Evie! Stop being a wimp and let the man do his job. It's just a little skin, he's not even_

With my heart thudding in my throat I let the blanket fall. Turning my face away and forcing my arms to stay at my sides and not wrap protectively around my chest like they wanted to, as the material pooled around my waist and exposed me to the elfs eyes. To his credit Solas didn't say a word and quickly set to work. That didn't mean I didn't jump with every brush of his long fingers or swipe of a rag. He worked in silence while I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating. Particularly when the Mage had to push up the side of my bra slightly to clean the end of a long cut. His palm brushing the side of my breast.

_Oh god he's touching me! Just breathe, if you panic and pass out you will never live this down!_

After what seemed like an eternity Solas finished his job and carefully wrapped me back in the blanket for my own state of mind. I was quick to draw it in close. Still furiously embarrassed I couldn't bring myself to look at him which is why it came as even more of a shock when I felt the Mage leaning in close and brush his lips against the swell of my cheek.

I froze, stunned and eyes going round. Granted a peck on the cheek was hardly something to freak out over. They were sweet, innocent or friendly gestures to show affection. Nothing more.

_Only this felt far from just friendly._

The way his lips felt softly brushing my skin and lingered longer than would be deemed necessary was bone meltingly hot. My breath caught in my throat as I let out a tiny stuttering gasp. Solas's mouth travelled across to my ear his breath fanning out over my cheek and neck.

"I was correct," He whispered, his voice reminiscing of the same tone he'd used during our tumble in the river. "You have _nothing_ to feel self conscious about."

Heat swelled within my chest and I turn to face him, wordlessly staring in surprise. His eyes had gone intent and stormy.

_That was soo not the face of professional concern!_

And then the door to the shack opened.

"It's not much but I've found some clothes that will tide you over for the night," Cassandra said completely oblivious to what she'd walked in on as she fussed with the garments draped in her arms. "If we are lucky by morning your things will have dried by the fire."

Solas was already standing back, like nothing had happened. But there was no denying it this time. I still had no idea exactly what it was that had occurred between us again, but it was something.

"How is she?" The Seeker asked as Solas set about cleaning up the used rags. I was still too stunned to even point out that Cassandra should be asking me how I was and not someone else.

"She will live,' he answered dryly. "Though I recommend nothing too strenuous for a few days. Her leg is healed but it is still tender. It was a deep wound and too much strain could cause permanent damage."

"The camp is a few hours away. Will she be able to make the walk tomorrow morning?" She asked dropping a bundle of clothes where Solas rags had once been along with a full water skin and small bag of what looked to be dried fruit.

Before the elf could answer I interrupted.

"Wait! Tomorrow?" I looked to Cassandra feeling dread rising in my throat like bile. "We're not leaving today?"

"You need rest Herald and it will be getting dark shortly. Best if we stay here for the night." She reasoned.

"No!" I said far too quickly and loudly making both of my companion look at me with surprised concern. "Cassandra I can't stay here another night, not after everything that... Please. I... I just can't"

I hated the fact that my voice began cracking pathetically towards the end of my reply. That the thought of spending even one more night in this place made me terrified beyond words. Even with Volkard dead and gone, I just couldn't stomach the idea. Obviously this incident had affected me more than even I realised, being in the compound for any longer than needed just bought back unpleasant memories about a certain nearby dog cage and unwanted feelings of helplessness.

The two shared significant looks and Cassandra sighed heavily.

"Very well," She said softly. "I will make sure the others are ready to leave. In the meantime you need to get dressed and eat. It is a long walk ahead of us. I will need to find out what happened to your boots and armour..."

I sagged in relief as she left the shack. I doubted the long walk back to camp in my state would be pleasant but I would just have to deal with it. Anything was better than another night here.

"I'll leave you to change then," Solas said turning to follow the Seeker. "I recommend you drink and eat that slowly Herald, too much to quickly will make you unwell."

"Thank you Solas," I said softly watching him leave with barely an incline of his head.

He was ignoring what had just happened. Again!

Whatever it was that was going on between us the Mage was clearly either running from or not ready to admit. I wasn't about to push him, mostly because I didn't know what to do about it either.

I sighed and cautiously hopped off the table.

My life was already complicated enough right now, best to take one thing at a time.

Starting with that water skin and dried fruit....

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I emerged from the shack a short time later, favouring one leg but clean, clothed and whole. The clothes I'd been given were about two sizes too big and clearly made for a man but I didn't mind. I was covered and since Cassandra had hunted down my boots and armour I was good to go.

My friends were gathered by the gates of the camp and I was quick to make my way over to them. The remaining Blades of Hessarian were all milling about the courtyard, awaiting our departure. I recognised a familiar figure talking with Cassandra as I drew closer.

"Tray!" I called happily jogging towards him then stopping as the motion made pain lance up my leg and Solas stare reproachfully at me from across the yard.

"Lady Herald," the Blade greeted with a pleased grin as I finally joined them.

"Evie," I corrected sternly. "I don't think I can ever repay you for bringing my friends here. I owe you my life."

"I wouldn't go that far," He said on a laugh. "We owe the Inquisition just as much after all you've done."

 "Then we're done here?" Bull said gruffly, his eye falling to the remaining Blades.

"Yes," Cassandra answered grimly. "As long as they respect the outcome of the duel, we have no quarrel."

"The Blades of Hessarian are at your service My Lady." Tray said seriously. "If you want eyes on the coast we are here."

"And there is no ill will to what happened with your old boss?" Bull asked, clearly not trusting the Blades sudden change of heart.

"The man was a bastard," Tray spat face darkening at the memory. "We're glad to be rid of him. You're not the first to stand up to Volkard, you're just the first to win."

"So you're loyal to the Inquisition now?" Varric said suspiciously.

"Technically we are loyal to whoever won the challenge," Tray explained. "Given what a hectic and.... unconventional challenge that it was does make it more difficult to keep to our normal traditions. Even so that would mean we are loyal to you lady Seeker."

"Urgh!" Cassandra groaned, rolling her eyes.

I struggled to hide my smile.

"And to you Lady Herald," He continued.

_What?!_

"I didn't do anything," I said quickly waving my hands in front of my face like it would ward off his words. "You saw how he beat the daylights out of me! I was _very_ far from winning."

"What you said to me last night, I would never have gone to find your companions if you hadn't said what you did and we wouldn't be free from Volkards control. We owe you our freedom." Tray responded, face intense and sincere.

I felt myself flushing in embarrassment.

"Really Tray, I didn't do anything except give you a little push. You saved yourselves." I said softly.

"If you say so my lady," He said smiling and giving me low exaggerated bow.

"Evie!" I corrected again before lightly shoving him of balance. "And cut that out will you. It's embarrassing."

He did with a small chuckle, eyes shining happily. I felt sudden light warmth in my chest at the carefree sight. He and his order were free, and we'd helped do that. _Maybe it was worth the night in the dog cage..._

"We need to be going if we are to get back before it's too dark," Cassandra reminded us. "Our scouts will stay a few more days to make sure things here remain under control."

"We are most grateful for the assistance," the Blade said humbly. "If you ever have need of us just send word, until then we will keep an eye out on the coast and keep you informed of anything of interest. Farewell Inquisition and thank you."

With one last farewell we left the encampment. I didn't look back. Instead I followed Cassandra in the drizzling rain as she lead us away from the place of my torment. Glad to be leaving it behind. As we walked I chatted with my comrades, never mentioning what had happened and with every step I took away from the Blade of Hessarian the calmer I felt.

Gradually the events of the past two days began to catch up with me. I hadn't slept in over thirty six hours, and being in a near constant state of wariness during that time hadn't helped things. Exhaustion was setting in, Varric and Seras talk about the Red Jenny's was turning into incoherent babble in my mind despite them walking right beside me. I struggled to keep pace. It had been my own choice to move on without rest so I forced myself to keep moving and concentrate on what I was doing but my mind kept wandering dazedly and my body was beginning to do its own thing.

Varric and Sera eventually pulled ahead as they argued playfully, not noticing that I was falling behind. My feet stumbling occasionally over rocks and roots as I pushed myself to keep moving.

"You ok Boss?"

I jumped at the sound of Bulls voice as he came up besides me.

"Yeah, fine," I said with a forced smile. "All good here. You?"

"Fine," He replied with a raised eyebrow. "But that's the fourth time you've almost tripped over something in the last seven minutes."

"Huh?" I questioned tiredly before my foot caught on yet another rock and I scrambled to keep my balance. Bulls thick arms coming out to catch me in the nick of time.

"That makes five." He rumbled thoughtfully.

I frowned and pushed myself away.

"I'm fine, just a little tired. I can keep going."

"You keep going like this and you're going to walk right off a cliff."

I snorted dismissively and kept going.

"I told you I'm fine," I sighed. "I was the one that insisted we leave, so I'll manage."

The big Qunari let out a frustrated growl and quickly caught up to me. Walking silently by my side and watching as we made our way towards a steep narrow path to the top of a hill. Half way up my eyes started getting heavy, my steps sluggish. Not paying attention I stepped in a patch of slick mud and my legs went skidding out from under me. I swore and threw my hands out expecting a nasty fall only to have Bulls massive hands wrap around my waist and hoist me back on my feet.

"That was exactly what I was talking about," He said lowly.

"Thank you, Bull," I groaned embarrassed. "It won't happen again."

"Damn right it won't," he replied before un-slinging his axe from his back.

"Ah... What are you doing?" I asked hesitantly eyeing the huge weapon in concern. Attacking felt like a very extreme response but I still knew very little about The Iron Bull. Suddenly I was very much aware of how far away the others were as they reached the top of the hill.

"Making room," Bull said simply before turning so his back was to me and kneeling down until he was resting on one knee. "You're going to climb up, I'm carrying you the rest of the way."

"Excuse me?!"

"Look I either have to spend this trip watching your every step until you accidently kill yourself or I save us both the trouble and carry you." He said looking over his shoulder at me as he spoke.

I shook my head fiercely. "I appreciate the gesture Bull but you don't have to-"

"Evie," He said suddenly serious. "It's ok to ask us for help. I get that you're trying to be tough but some things aren't worth being stubborn about. You're dead on your feet, let me help."

I sagged in defeat. He was right I was being stubborn and looking up at the remaining hill it might as well have been Mount Everest for how impossible it seemed.

"Ok," I relented quietly making my way forward. "Thank you Bull. You sure I'm not going to be too heavy for you?"

He laughed loudly causing several birds to take flight from nearby trees and the others of our group to look back in curiosity.

"You?" He chuckled clearly amused. "Carrying you won't even be a workout. Now hurry up."

"How do I...?" I trailed off uneasily looking at the broad expanses of his shoulders and back.

_Where in the world did I start? Should I hold his horns? On second thought I remember what he said about how he used those horns...._

"Arms around my neck," he ordered. "I'll hold you up."

"What, like a piggy back ride?" I giggled.

He grunted and stood up in a smooth motion, I clung tightly around his neck while he got his grip sorted, one massive hand curling gently but securely under my left knee, while he hooked his other forearm under my other leg so his hand was free to carry his axe.

"Hey, you should be honoured. I don't let many people ride the Iron Bull. At least not in _this_ manner. Though I can arrange the other way for you too, if you're interested....?" He said, trailing of suggestively.

I snorted and leaned up to flick the end of one of his pointed ears.

"You are such a pig. And that's seriously not a thing. Riding the Bull? You can't be for real?" I scoffed.

"I didn't hear a no..." the Qunari sing songed as he began jogging to catch up with the others.

"As if," I mumbled, resting my head comfortably on the back of his big grey shoulder blade.

The warmth of his big body combined with the soothing motion of his loping gait and my exhausted state soon caught up with my weary mind and body. I wasn't surprised to find myself quickly dozing off, the rhythmic sound of Bulls breathing and the solid thump of his heart beat under my ear acting like a strange but reassuring lullaby. I didn't bother fighting it.

My friends had my back and I couldn't imagine a safer place I could be. I was good...

.... As long as I didn't start drooling in my sleep.


	26. Mischief, Music and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This means war Cullen!"
> 
> Evie and her party head back to Haven where Sera gets up to no good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!!  
> Another fluffy filler chapter that just needed to happen.  
> Back to a bit of story progression next time :)  
> As always I hope you enjoy
> 
> Ps, spoilers in the end comments for minor character death in Game of thrones from up to the 'last' session. Just encase people are still catching up. don't read that bit if don't want spoiled

 

## Mischief, Music and Comfort ##

 

I didn't remember the rest of the trip back to camp or even getting into a spare Inquisition tent and crawling into a cot. Nevertheless I woke late the next day to find myself curled up in one without my armour and boots so I must have at some point. As it turned out I wasn't the only one drained by the events on the Storm Coast, Sera was dead to the world when I tried to wake her and Varrics snores could be heard reverberating across the camp when I ventured out to find food. My companions had clearly pushed themselves trying to find me during my capture, the thought made me both warm with the idea that that cared enough to go to such lengths an utterly ashamed and miserable that they had to go through all that for my sake. I lost count of the amount of times I apologised to them all, Cassandra eventually yelling that if she heard the word 'sorry ' one more time she would keep me silent through extra sparring sessions.

I shut up after that.

We allowed ourselves the next day to recover and rest at the camp before setting out on the long trip back to Haven. It was a good thing we did wait considering I felt like I'd been trampled by a heard of druffalo. Looked like it too. My cuts may have been healed but the bruising remained as an unfortunate and ugly reminder of my bout with Volkard, my skin littered with the purple and blue blotchy patches that would mark my body and face for a few days more. I looked a complete wreck and as much as I wanted to leave the dreary Storm Coast behind I dreaded more people seeing me in such a state. Not that I was obsessed with my appearance, I liked to be presentable and neat but I had hardly ever worn make up or really put much effort into how I looked. But I was ashamed of my wounds. Many people would see such injuries as well earned trophies from a battle survived but to me it was a reminder of just how pathetically weak I was to have allowed it to happen in the first place. Bull, while impressed with the 'magnificent shiner' I was sporting, had even given me something to make them fade quicker. He had said it was made by his company medic, Stitches, and claimed it worked great even if it tasted terrible. I was then pulled aside by Stitches himself and told not to consume it as it was a poultice not a potion.

I still wasn't sure if the Qunari was aware of that fact or not and I wasn't game to be the one to break it to him.

The Bulls Chargers turned out to be an interesting group of people from many various walks of life. Journeying back together with the mercenary group provided a good opportunity to get to know Bulls men a little bit as they walked and rode along side us we left the Inquisition camp behind. The Chargers bringing a small wagon filled to bursting with supplies and equipment for their group which clunked and clattered along in our wake, pulled by the burliest horse I'd ever seen. Bull had collected quite the assortment of oddballs and rejects all of whom contributed something special to his team. They certainly made the trip back more lively and given there were at least eighteen of them, plus Bull, Varric, Sera, Cassandra , Solas and I... it felt like we were providing the Thedas landscape with a strange kind of parade or circus. The bandits gave us no trouble on the road due to our enormous and clearly well armed herd. But that didn't mean we lacked for a fight.

During the four day trip back we came across no less than seven Rifts and I was more than willing to throw myself into those fights. It was excellent practise without the guilt of having killed a living thing and I was doing some good in the process. It also had the added bonus of showing The Iron Bull I wasn't as useless as our first few days together may have portrayed me.

The first time I closed a Rift in front of the mercenary team it had been met with stunned silence and mix of awe and trepidation. Bull had done nothing to hide his severe dislike of demons since we'd met and my strange mark unnerved him more than most. He hated and distrusted the Fade and anything associated with it, including the mark, but at the same time I'd used it to get rid of demons. It was clear the big guy was struggling with what to think of it but not so much that he made to avoid me. In fact on our second night during a training session with Cassandra he came forward to offer me some assistance.

"You're going about this wrong Seeker," he said, interrupting us as Cassandra was making me practice blocking and hastily apologising when she shot him her death glare. "No offence meant Cassandra. The Boss isn't going to improve if you keep teaching her your moves and techniques. She hasn't got the build for it."

"And what's wrong with my methods?!" Cassandra snapped, arms folding across her breast plate and brows furrowing.

"What's wrong with my build?" I added, trying to glare at him but I think it turned out more of a pout as I mimicked the Seekers stance. I had thought I'd been progressing pretty well.

_Wait a moment, was Bull calling me fat?! I was a little soft but I wasn't fat! Was I?_

The Qunari grunted in exasperation and rolled his eyes.

"Women," he grumbled. "All I meant was your fighting style relies primarily on strength Cassandra. Even if you train Evie up she hasn't got the right build to make real use of that kind of skill. She's better suited to quick precise attacks that use speed and agility. Focused more on that and combined with that stick of hers she could pull off quite the deadly combo."

"And you could teach her," Cassandra asked dryly. "We've all seen you fight Bull, brute strength and intimidation is pretty much all you do."

"That you know of," the Qunari said smirking knowingly before turning serious again and turning to face me. "But I wasn't talking about myself. A few of my guys could give you some helpful tips, only if you're interested of course."

I looked to Cassandra hopefully.

"It couldn't hurt," I said.

She relented with a sigh. "Very well, just be careful with her. The Inquisition needs her in one piece."

As it turns out my new tutors were two of the elves from Bulls group. Dalish, a pretty blond Mage and outcast from her dalish clan who adamantly refused to admit she was in fact a Mage. She was a nice woman, calmly and happily explaining her culture to me while I admired the winding elegant lines of her face tattoo. I already knew of the traditional vallaslin but I'd never actually seen it first hand and found to be very pretty. My other teacher turned out to my blood covered saviour from the short fight with the Tevinter mercenaries. A stern faced former city elf named Skinner whose response when I'd ask how she'd ended up in Bulls company was a blasé "killed some people," and followed up by practically purring about how pleased she was that she got to kill more people and be payed for it now.

... She scared the piss out of me.

It didn't help matters that we didn't get off to the best of starts. In order to see what needed improving Skinner insisted we spar first. I'd agreed happily like an eager puppy and had barely even lifted my arms up to guard when her foot connected with the side of my head through a magnificent round house kick. I came to forty five minutes later with a splitting head ache and a concerned Solas hovering over me. I could hear The Iron Bull yelling in the distance saying things like "Unnecessary use of force" and "You know better!" to a rather pissed off and petulant looking elf. Realising what had happened I had hid my face in my hands in shear embarrassment and wished the ground would swallow me up.

 _Damn that was pathetic_!

"Are you alright?" Solas asked in concern.

"Owww, my pride." I groaned pitifully on a laugh, getting an amused chuckle from Varric who was sitting somewhere nearby.

"I'm using that one!" The dwarf had declared while rummaging for a scrap of paper.

Cassandra didn't want me learning from the violent city elf after that but I went back anyway the same day. If she could take me out so quickly then so could other people and I needed to be able to defend myself against all types of attackers. Afterward I got the impression Skinner seemed to respect me a little bit more for coming back and not running, not that she showed it but at least she didn't kick me in the head again. There was no denying Skinner was fast and deadly, I could learn a lot from her.

And I did, she and Dalish taught me a few basic tricks for combat and started instructing me on exercises to help limber up my body and become more flexible and quick. I was even given a short length of wood about twenty centimetres long by Dalish and told to practice twirling it around my hands and fingers as help with my staff handling. Once I got the hang of the basic motions I actually found the task to be quite relaxing and fun. I did it when I was sitting by the fire at night, while riding Falcon, when I was bored, before going to sleep in the evening. It was almost becoming habit until Sera informed me of how annoying it was by snatched the wood from my hand one night in the tent and warning me if I kept it up she would shove it somewhere unpleasant.

The frightening thing was I knew she wasn't bluffing. I was a bit more careful with it from then on and _never_ practiced in front of Sera.

With my new exercises to focus on and all the new people to get to know the trip seemed to fly by and all too soon the familiar sight of Haven came into view, the sea of Inquisition tents and Cullen's recruits being the first thing to welcome us back followed closely by Josephine and Leliana who needed to great and properly induct the Iron Bull and his men.

I left them to it, heading straight for my shabby cabin, then right on to the baths.

It was another trip over and done with and I was glad to be back.

 

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"Are you sure it's ok to be here Sera?" I whispered hesitantly, fearing the answer.

"Sure, why wouldn't we be?" the elf replied coolly.

"Umm... Because the door is locked!" I hissed looking around the empty cold corridor beneath the Chantry hall apprehensively for anyone who may catch us.

"Not anymore it's not," she replied triumphantly, finishing up with the lock she had been picking with a happy flourish of her tool. Sera stood quickly and pushed the heavy wooden door open and slid inside the dark room, using a slender arm to pull me in after her before closing it behind us.

"Well it was locked," I said nervously wringing my hands. "And usually that means people don't want other people going in!"

"Pffttt! If Leliana wanted what's in here kept all secret-y she shouldn't have made it _look_ all secret-y." Sera said dismissively lighting the torch on the wall instantly illuminating the other wise dark room.

"That makes no sense," I said baffled by her strange logic.

"You make no sense!" she countered fluidly lighting a second torch.

I groaned in defeat. There was no reasoning with the wild rogue. We'd been back in Haven for almost a week when Sera had dropped by my cabin unannounced and declaring we were going to 'do some exploring.' Which was how I'd found myself being dragged all through various buildings in Haven and eventually down to the Chantry's underground corridors. I still didn't know why I let her steer me around the way she had, Sera was clearly up to no good. And yet somehow I was actually enjoying myself. She may be crazy, but the elf was fun and with all the dire things happening in Thedas I could use a little fun.

 _Maybe I was finally going through a bit of a rebellious phase_.....

The formerly lock room appeared to be a generously sized office space. Holding a large desk in the corner and a handful of overstuffed bookshelves along most the walls, all of which over flowing with dusty tomes, melted candle wax and stacks of paper. There were a few crates stacked to ones side and a small chest as well as something large covered with an old moth eaten sheet. Whatever its purpose the room clearly hadn't been used in a long time, our footsteps raising clouds of dust as we ventured in.

Sera, of course, went straight for the chest and crates rummaging through for anything of value and coming out with a small silver ring which she promptly put on her index finger to admire before shrugging and tossing it over her shoulder.

"Fake!" She called going back to her hunt.

I sighed and went to look through the dusty books. Most seemed to be Chantry books on Andraste but I found a few not so Andrastian works including books titled _'Pictures in the sky: An astronomers guide to the night,' 'Hervant the brave_ ,' _'The Malificar Imperium_ ' and.....

" _The Lusty Qunari Maid,"_ I read out loud with a giggle. "What the heck?"

"What?! Gimme that!" Sera yelled abandoning her search and almost tripping over herself to snatch the book from my hands with an eager cackle. "Now this is a book, not like that piss Varric writes. You don't want it do you?"

"You keep it," I offered shaking my head. "I don't think it's my kind of book."

I loved a good romance but horny Qunari women were not really my cup of tea.

"Your loss," The archer replied unperturbed as she flicked through the first few pages, eyes going wide and mouth spreading into a salacious grin. ".... Woof!"

I snorted in amusement and turned my gaze to sheet covered object in the corner, letting my curiosity get the better of me I left Sera to her dirty book and went to investigate. Pulling back the old material I was rewarded with a face full of hay fever inducing dust and revealed the presence of an old and battered upright piano.

I stared at the musical device in surprise. I didn't think they had pianos here in Thedas though I suppose I shouldn't be too astounded, it wasn't like it was a keyboard and required electricity to play, it was just an assortment of hammers and string. Still I hadn't expected to find one and here of all places.

"Whatcha find?" Sera asked curiously coming to stand behind me her book tucked under one arm. "That's a Piano thingy right? What's it doing here?"

"No idea," I murmured lifting the lid off the keys and eyeing the old yellowing ivories. "Wonder if it still works."

I tentatively tried a few keys and scales, pleased to find that apart from requiring a bit of tuning the piano was in good condition. It even had the same key order as the pianos back home, another similarity between worlds.

"You can play that thing?" Sera asked in astonishment.

"Only a bit," I had learned the very basics when I was younger then memorised the how to play the music for a few of my favourite songs as a teenager to impress my friends. But I gave up the hobby when I hit my last few years of high school and hadn't touched a piano in almost five years.

"I thought you said your dad was a carpenter in a small town. How'd you get to have one of those?" Sera asked suspiciously. "Pianos are bloody expensive; I've only seen them in snobby nobles' houses and in a few pubs."

_Oh shit! Why didn't I keep my mouth shut?! I was so busted. Think quick Evie!_

"We didn't own one, but my Gran had an old one tucked away in her basement. She was the one that taught me a little of how to play. I never thought to ask where she got it from, it was always just there. I didn't even think that it was strange that she had one. Don't even know what happened to the old thing when she died." I said quickly trying to be vague while still technically telling the truth. Still the guilt of lying to my friend made my stomach churn.

_I was such a bad person...._

"Oh, right," Sera said clearly buying my story. "Sooo, we done here then?"

_Geez she had a short attention span._

"You go on ahead, I want to take a look through those books again. See if I missed any good ones," I said forgetting that we really shouldn't be here in the first place.

"Look at you, hanging out in the secret-y room all sneaky like," Sera teased nudging me with her elbow.

"You were the one who said it wasn't a secret room because it looked like one," I replied indignantly.

"Of course it's a bloody secret room, it was locked wasn't it?" She cackled happily dancing out the door and into the corridor. "Catch ya later Herald!"

I restrained myself from chasing after the frustrating girl and yelling insults at her retreating form, it wouldn't do any good. Figuring I was already in this far and we hadn't been caught I might as well stay for a bit longer. Given the number of agents stalking my every move I was sure that if I really wasn't allowed in here Leliana would have shown up by now to murder me.

I looked through a few more shelves of books before finding my attention kept returning to the piano in the corner. Giving up the pointless battle to stay focussed on dusty book titles I made sure the wooden door was securely closed and pulled a crate up in front of the piano to use as a seat. The thick stone walls would likely keep the noise in so I doubted I would be disturbing anyone.

I was rusty at first, really rusty. My fingers clunking awkwardly on the keys but slowly it started to come back to me. Without meaning to I found myself playing through a stilted version of Passenger's 'Let her go' making several attempts to get through it smoothly before repeating it with more confidence. While it sounded odd to my ears, missing the extra instruments and the right vocals of the original song it was something tying me to the world I left behind and I couldn't bring myself to stop playing, even when home sick tears began to fall onto the keys. I hadn't heard any of my own music for months and it was a strange thing to realise I really missed it. Being able to turn on the radio and listen to whatever was playing, talk about it with my friends or organise trips to concerts, things that just wouldn't happen here. While my version of the song was far from perfect it was something from home and a reminder that my past was real. I began to softly sing the chorus in time with the music, the sad but hopeful lyrics making me smile to myself as the rest of the words flowed out. I was by no means a prodigal singer but I wasn't awful, just average, nothing special. I'd even been in the chorus in a handful of school plays but not liking to be the centre of attention and having the tendency to choke in the spot light I didn't sing by myself often in the fear people would... well notice me trying to sing. But I was alone here.

Or at least I thought I was.

I finished the last few bars and wiped my cheeks with the back of my sleeve to remove the evidence of my tears. Deciding I'd tortured myself enough for one day I stood up and turned only to find the slender figure of the Spy Master leaning casually against the closed door.

I jumped, stumbled back and caught myself on the edge of the piano making the keys squawk in protest.

_Mother fu-!_

"Leliana!" I gasped shakily, heart thudding in panic against my ribs as she regarded me coolly from beneath her hood. "I was just... We- Sera ...and I wasn't sure but... I didn't mean to- how did you?............ _Shit."_

I gave up trying to explain myself, too tongue tied and terrified of Leliana to get out a coherent sentence in my defence. Not that I really had any, I was currently trespassing in a locked room after all thanks to a certain elf and my inability to say no.

_I was going to strangle Sera if I got out of this..._

"I would not have expected to find you of all people down here Evelyn," she said in her lilting accent, mouth twisting into an amused smirk.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't be in here. I have no excuse." I said softly, my head down and hands fidgeting nervously with the hem of my shirt.

She giggled, actually giggled. A soft humming noise like she was trying to stifle it, I looked up stunned. It was adorable.

... And freaking terrifying!

"Did you really think with Sera around I would leave anything of real value or importance lying around in wait." She eventually said.

"Uhhh, but the room was locked," I replied, confused.

"Precisely," Leliana cooed stalking forward. "A locked room is just inviting trouble."

"You've lost me," I frowned; this was giving me a head ache. She was starting to sound like a more eloquent version of Sera.

"Don't concern yourself with it Herald," she said with a smile and a tilt of her head. "I'm more interested in talking about that music."

"Oh, you're interested in music?" I said dumbly, still expecting her to chew me out for intruding where I wasn't wanted.

She slowly walked forward to stand in front of the piano and took off a single glove before placing one hand down on the keys and playing a quick succession of flowing sweet notes.

"You may not know this but I was once a bard," Leliana said conversationally. "Music, poetry and grand tales were my life and joy for a time. I memorised hundreds of songs but none of them quite like the one you just played."

"It's from home so I'm not surprised you've never heard it."

"That's what music is like where you're from?" She asked curiously.

"Some of it," I answered struggling to find a way to describe the difference in types of music like rap or electronic. How in the world could anyone describe pop music to people who were used to ballads and lutes? "A lot of it is louder and a bit more... busy. The song I played isn't really complete without a violin. Plus I'm not much of a pianist."

She nodded thoughtfully and played a few more bars.

"Do you by chance know any other songs?" Leliana asked. Her face turned away so I couldn't see but her voice seemed oddly hesitant for her normal self. Almost hopeful.

"Ah, heaps actually but only a handful I can play the music for." This was a different side to the mysterious Spy Master I was seeing and I didn't really know what to say to her.

"Would you teach me?"

I looked at her in astonishment before quickly shaking myself out of it.

"Uh sure, I mean I'm no teacher but I'd be happy to show you what I can."

She smile at me in appreciation, I think it was the first time I'd seen Leliana look genuinely pleased. It made her look so much younger, almost childlike.

"It has been a long time since I learnt a new song," she said softly, happily.

I smile back shyly.

It looked like I'd finally found some common ground with our Spy Master.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

The days went by and even as reports flowed in from across Ferelden and Orlais of more Rifts and danger we heard nothing further from either the Templars of Mages. Eventually a decision was made to send me back to the Hinterlands to at least find out what the Rebel Mages had to offer. It wasn't ideal, the Inquisition still didn't have as much sway or support as we'd like but we couldn't wait around for much longer. Something needed to be done.

Preparations were made for travel and for my safety it was insisted that I be accompanied by Cassandra, Varric, Solas, Sera, Bull and Vivienne. I had joked that Haven was going to be left empty if they kept sending everyone with me but I appreciated what they were trying to do. We all knew what a dangerous situation we were potentially walking into.

The night before our departure I picked up my armour from Harrit the blacksmith in Haven who had been adding some extra protection and fixing up the damaged parts. As I made my way back towards the main gate, weighed down with my arms full of leather and metal I was detained by someone calling out for my attention.

"Herald!"

I turned in time to see Cullen jogging towards me and smiled at him over the top of my belongings. I hadn't spent all that much time with the Commander of late, he'd been exceedingly busy and our training sessions had been cut short on many occasions. Thankfully Dalish and Skinner were able to help me out and pick up where Cullen left off.

"Hey Cullen," I greeted as he caught up, shifting my armour a little in my arms trying to balance it better.

"Getting ready for tomorrow?" He asked, honeyed eyes falling to my gear.

"Yep," I answered cheerfully. "Harrit's added some dawnstone guards over parts of my pants so random bandit leaders will find it harder to make me bleed to death."

He didn't laugh but his mouth twisted into a one sided grin.

"Here, allow me," he said smoothly, quickly taking the equipment from my hold with ease.

"Oh! Thank you, that's very gentlemanly of you Commander," I teased watching as his cheeks tinge pink.

"Yes, well..." he coughed awkwardly then glared my way when I let out a small giggle."Makers Breath you're doing this on purpose now aren't you!"

I laughed out loud at that. The expression on his handsome face, a mixture of shock and horror, was utterly priceless.

"I don't know what you mean Cullen," I said trying to be coy but failing because the laughter kept bubbling out.

"Oh, I'm onto you Herald," he growled. "You're getting as bad as Josephine and Leliana."

"Sorry Cullen I couldn't help myself," I offered. "It's just so nice to see you get out from under your own personal storm cloud once in a while, even if it means getting you flustered in the process. You always seem so sullen and fierce, it good to see your soft side. But I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable."

"I'm not always sullen," he griped, then added timidly. "Am I?"

I gave him an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, you kind of are. I saw Jim in the tavern a few nights ago getting himself completely smashed, very kind of you to make him your assistant by the way. When I ask if everything was ok it was like he was possessed. All he said was 'he never bloody rests, so I never rest!' You wind yourself up too tight Cullen, it can't be good for you."

He frowned darkly.

"There's still much to do, so much happening that needs my attention. Our forces could do so much good, but they need a strong leader to command them. The Inquisition can't afford for me to fail."

"Are you kidding me?" I laughed in disbelief. "Cullen your men adore and idealise you, you should cut yourself a little slack. You are an amazing Commander, just look at what you have done with every one of your recruits. The Inquisitions army may not be big but we are so strong thanks to you. You don't need to run yourself into the ground to prove yourself."

"You're being far to generous-"

"I am not. It's all true, ask anyone." I interrupted firmly before grinning widely. "And now you're blushing again!"

He grunted and turned away, stalking towards the gate muttering.

"This is the last time I do anything nice for you... treacherous minx!"

I laughed and ran to catch up with him, not taking offence. We walked in comfortable silence and I stopped briefly to say hi to Bull and Krem as we passed the Chargers tents by the gate. As we drew closer to my cabin I noticed Cullen seemed to be struggling with something.

"Everything alright Cullen?" I asked cautiously.

The big man rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"I actually wanted to check how you were holding up after your ordeal. However I was a hesitant to bring it up." Cullen spoke softly watching me carefully from the side, like he was afraid I would burst into tears at even the mention of what had happened.

I felt my face heat with embarrassment and anger.

_See Evie, even Cullen thinks you're so mentally fragile that you're going to shatter at any moment._

"I'm fine," I replied with a forced smile as we reached my cabin door. I opened it and gestured for Cullen to go in first before following him in. The Commander carefully placed my things on my small table before turning to me with his arms crossed over his broad chest and a look of skepticism on his face.

"Seriously I'm ok. It's not a big deal. Not like I was permanently injured or anything. It was just a little scary that's all. No big deal right?" I rambled.

He sighed heavily.

"You don't have to down play the whole thing Evie, I've read the reports and what you endured seems more than 'a little scary' to me. But I understand if you don't want to dwell on it and want to move on. I've been through something similar myself, I know it is to feel so helpless. I just wanted to let you know we're all here if you need us... to talk or.... other things..... Maker I'm bad at this! I had it all sorted out in my head too..."

I stared at him horrified as he continued his flustered mutterings.

"You've been through something like that?" I asked hoarsely.

Cullens handsome face turned dark and grim. His voice was tight when he spoke, hands balled into tight fist at his sides."I was station at the Ferelden Circle when it fell during the last Blight and held captive by the Mages that took over it for days. It... it was a very bleak time for me."

My throat went tight and tears prickled at the edges of my vision. The thought of someone so strong and proud being caged or chained and held against his will felt like a vice around my chest. Particularly someone like Cullen who seemed to be a rare and good man. Whatever had occurred I knew he hadn't deserved what had happened to him. That look on his face when he even thought about his time as a captive.... so tortured. I didn't like seeing him like that.

Before I realised what I was doing I was across the floor and throwing my arms around his middle in a tight but uncomfortable hug. My face pressed into the unyielding surface of his polished armour. He staggered caught off guard and held his arms up gawkily, like he wasn't sure what to do with them.

"Andraste- What are you...? Evie are you hugging me?" The Commander stammered in surprise.

"Yes. Because you're a good man," I mumbled into his chest. Not looking up or letting go. "Whatever you went through clearly hurt you and you don't deserve to be so tormented. Sorry... I just felt like you needed a hug."

Eventually one of his arms lowered to wrap loosely around my back while his other hand landed affectionately on the top of my head.

"And here I was trying to comfort _you_ ," He chuckled ruefully. "I never know what to expect from you Lady Herald. Somehow you always manage to twist things around."

"It's a gift," I said will a small shaky laugh and stepped out from him. "Thank you for your concern by the way. I know if I need to a can talk to you or the others. But I promise you I'm ok for now. The same goes for you to, if you ever need someone to talk or vent to I'm happy to be of service."

We smiled at each other for a moment, before Cullen shifted restlessly and looked out the cabin window.

"Well then," he said calmly. "I suppose I will see you went you get back from Redcliffe, please take care of yourself this time Evie."

"You sound like Cassandra," I chastised frowning at him.

He laughed and then surprised me by taking my left hand and bending over it.

"Safe journeys My Lady," he breathed in a whisky smooth growl, never breaking eye contact.

Then he softly brushed his lips across the back of my hand.

_Holy Shit!_

I felt my mouth drop open and my face turn scarlet while I stood like a statue.

_Omigod! Where had that come from?!_

He really was like a freaking knight in shining armour right out of a romance book. And for the love of Mills and Boon the stupid cliché worked on him!

_What do I do? What do I do?!_

Then he smirked and laughed standing back up to whisper in my ear.

"Now who's blushing...?"

_What the...?_

I blinked stupidly, realisation hitting me like a sledge hammer as Cullen swaggered out my door. Laughing triumphantly.

_Oh the evil son of a ....._

I ran after him stopping on my doorstep to yell at his retreating back. Several people nearby stopping to stare at the spectacle.

"This means war Cullen!"

The Commander sent me a half hearted wave over his shoulder and didn't turn around. It was probably a good thing otherwise he'd have seen me struggling to stay indignant while fighting of an amused smile.

I certainly met some interesting and infuriating people in this world.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone catch the Skyrim reference :) hugs if you did.  
> Just encase people are curious about Evies use of a staff as a weapon I kind of picture her being about to fight like Oberyn Martyl in Game of Throne given time and experience.... Minus the whole gory head exploding death of course.  
> Don't look up his fight scene if you can't stand gore and violence... its not pretty.
> 
> Thank you for the views and support :)


	27. Conscripting Beards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am not sweet and innocent! I'm a total bad ass!"
> 
> Evie and the others head back to the Hinterlands and recruit a new member.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. Real life's been busy and for some reason I found it hard to getting into this chapter when I found time to sit down and write. I'm sorry.  
> Plus I may have been distracted by my late discovery of Undertale... I'm sure those of you who have played it will understand.  
> Chapter contains dialog from the game for plot purposes so credit goes to biowares wonderful writers. Though I've changed it up a little to keep it interesting.  
> I hope you all enjoy.

## Conscripting Beards ##

 

The Hinterlands hadn't changed much since our last visit. It was still the same picturesque hilly and grassy plains landscape that greeted us and the same rogue Templars and Mages battling and ruining things for everyone else. The fighting between the two opposing forces was going as strong as ever but at least there were more Inquisition outposts and camps providing support and protection for the locals. We spent a short amount of time at The Cross Roads checking up on how things were going in the area and helping out where we could before heading towards the Redcliffe road. Knowing we weren't going to make it all the way to the town in one day we instead planned to get to an Inquisition camp in the area that had been dubbed 'The Upper Lake Camp.' To do so meant cutting a path between what seemed to be the epicentre of the Mage/ Templar battle grounds but with such a big and powerful group of people to travel with we made it through with only a few scrapes and bruises between us. We even had time on the trip to take out a nasty cell of surprisingly well organised and armed bandits who were taking advantage of the chaos to target any one travelling on the roads. Bull took particular joy in shutting down their organisation saying anyone who took advantage of such a situation was in his words "In need of a good killing."

I was a bit more reluctant. Sure the assholes needed to be punished but they could hardly right their wrongs if they were dead right? Anyone I managed to disarmed or knock out during the fight I gave them a choice. Either hand over their weapons and armour and swear off banditry and we would try to find them labour work nearby under Inquisition supervision to help the people of the Hinterlands or they could go play tough guys with Bull and Cassandra. After seeing the two warriors in action not many took the second option and we arrived at the camp with an extra three able bodied men and one women who I handed over to the corporal with orders to make them work for their supper any way he wanted and to punish them however he liked if they crossed a line. This was their second chance they could either embrace it or throw it away and suffer the consequences.

I'd done what I could, the rest was up to them.

The upper lake camp was actually quite lovely. Set up on a high cliff edge allowing for excellent views of the war ravaged valley and any ongoing fights and right next to a moderately sized shallow lake that rippled with clear water and prettily reflected the setting sun at dusk. I spent the evening wading about the cool waters with Solas, our pants rolled up to the knees as we gathering blood lotus and spindleweed for potions. When dinner of sausages, gravy and rice was ready we all sat around one of the few fire pits and listened to Varric and Bull try and outdo each other in grand tales. Even Vivienne seemed comfortable and content with both company and scenery at least until Sera pipped in with a rather raunchy story of her own at which point the Enchanter decided to turn in for the night with a parting disdainful sniff. It was a nice feeling being able to relax and have a bit of fun with everyone. I was enjoying myself so much and didn't want to end the pleasant evening, enough so that even when I began to feel tired I persisted in denying my need for sleep. It wasn't until Varric noticed me dozing off and sinking down to lean against Sera's bony shoulder did Cassandra insist that I turn in for the night. I grumbled but did as told, not wanting the Seeker to drag me away by my ear on principle alone. I fell asleep hearing Sera dare Bull to run about the camp naked and decided sleep was probably for the best. That was an image I didn't want burned into memory.

The next morning during breakfast Cassandra and I were approached by a scout with some information regarding the location of Leliana's elusive Grey Warden. Apparently he was close by and had been sighted at a lake barely twenty minutes away. I was eager to go out and search for the Warden before heading forward to Redcliffe. We were still waiting for some of our men to infiltrate the town and get some intelligence on what was going on within the Rebel Mages sanctuary before we entered ourselves. Finding this Blackwall seemed like a good way to spend the extra time while we waited. Strangely enough when I voiced my plan to Cassandra and Solas they were less enthused.

"I don't like it," Cassandra said frowning as Solas shook his head in agreement. As always their number one concern was for my safety.

Honestly the coddling was getting old.

"I'll be fine," I contended, not understanding the problem. "He's a Warden right? They're the good guys."

"Some didn't always start out that way," Solas replied grimly.

"Huh?" This was news to me.

"Many Wardens joined the order to avoid other punishments from a dark past, it's often considered a second chance for criminals." Cassandra explained.

I crossed my arms and frowned. How was that any different from the bandits I'd spared the day before? Surely if the man was still a Warden then he could at least be trusted to answer a few questions. He risked his life to protect people from Darkspawn after all and had no real reason to pose any threat to us.

"Even so he's a Warden now right?" I argued. "And Leliana has questions he can answer. I understand your concern but you don't need to keep worrying about me, Bull offered to come along with and Sera and Varric to keep me safe. Afterwards we're going to try and hunt some game for the refugees. And it's not like we're going far. I'll be perfectly fine, we might even get something good for our own dinner."

Cassandra reluctantly seemed to see reason and after having a few very stern words with Bull she relented and agreed to let us go. It was a small victory and I knew the Seeker was probably going to have one of the scouts follow us anyway but I was taking it. My small hunting party set off and by midmorning were carefully making our way around a large pristine lake and towards a small shack on the other side where a handful of people could be seen.

Drawing closer we could make out the people more clearly. Three young men who barely looked to be out of their teens nervously stood in a wonky line with sets of old and mismatched weapons and shields. They were listening intently to an older man who paced in front of them gesturing loosely with his own sword and shield as he lectured them.

"...Remember how to carry your shield. You're not hiding, you're holding! Otherwise it's useless..." He was saying, voice confident and gruff.

I smiled fondly; the way he spoke reminded me of how Cullen interacted with his new recruits. It was such a familiar scene I half expected Jim to come running out of nowhere fumbling and dropping his gear as he arrived late. The man however looked the complete opposite of the always immaculate and poised Cullen. He was slightly shorter than the Inquisitions Commander but appeared broader and slightly barrel chest-ed, though it could have been because of his chosen armour instead of build. Dressed in thick padded leathers beneath a heavy steel chest plate and professional looking greaves and shin guards, his armour and gear looked old but very well kept like that of many seasoned veterans. His hair was dark brown, and almost mane like as it fell to below shoulder length and flowed seamlessly into a thick and wild beard which parted in the middle like a forked snakes tongue to form two points. While Cullen was like a handsome prince charming in appearance this man was all burley woodsman or gritty lumberjack.

"Could be our man," Varric said eyeing the gentlemen who still hadn't noticed our approach. "He certainly looks Wardenly."

"What exactly does Wardenly look like?" I asked curiously as we walked closer.

"Beardy and grim," The dwarf answer sagely. "With a few exceptions of course, otherwise Warden party's would be very dull."

"I thought dwarfs were beardy and grim," Bull said.

"No dwarfs are beardy, grim _and short_." Varric replied patiently. "Easy mistake to make though. We both spend more time than really appropriate in the Deep Roads."

I briefly wondered whether that meant dwarven Wardens were extra beardy and grim, but refrained from asking.

"Well he's definitely beardy. Bet I could knit a sweater out of that, or at least a tea cosy." Sera added watching the man in question.

"You knit!" Varric turned to the elf gleefully, obviously amused by the girls unlikely hobby.

"Knitting's brilliant, its stabby sewing." Sera gushed excitedly.

I raised a surprised eyebrow. Hadn't been expecting that one, but somehow it made sense.

Bull grunted thoughtfully. "Krem likes to knit, helps him wind down I think. Makes stuffed nugs and hands them out to kids we meet on the road."

"Awwww, that's so sweet." I cooed. I kind of wanted one for myself.

Sera wrinkled her face. "Urgh, nugs are gross."

We weren't far off the man now so I decided to just go and strike up a conversation. If he was our Warden now seemed a good enough time to approach him as any. I cautiously made my way forward with my companions close behind, still casually discussing knitting and nugs. Even so I knew they were paying close attention.

"Umm, Blackwall?" I called questioningly when we drew close enough. "Warden Blackwall?"

He turned at the sound of my voice frowning darkly as he took in our odd groups arrival, powder blues eyes looking over each of us appraisingly. We must look like the line up for a terrible pun; _A dwarf, a Qunari, an elf and a girl with a glowing hand walk up to a Warden...._ Within moments he was storming forward, his body drawn into a fighting stance and his form intimidating. I felt Bull stiffen at my back and casually reach for a knife in his belt.

"You're not...," The man started clearly confused and very suspicious. "How did you know my name? Who sent you-?"

I was taken aback by the quick distrust and hostility from the man however his interrogation was swiftly interrupted by the tell tale whistle of an arrow. At first I thought Sera was sending the possible Warden a warning shot to back off until I realised the projectile was coming from the opposite direction. In move that was too quick to follow the bearded man raised his shield in front of my head and caught the offending deadly projectile before it finished me off. The sharp barbed end of the arrow piercing through to the underside of his wooden shield, pointing directly at my nose.

_Oh sugar that was close!_

Startled, I whirled about and looked for its source. With a cry a small pack of men began charging across the lawn towards the young trainees and Blackwall.

_Where the heck had they come from?!_

"That's it! Help or get out! We're dealing with these idiots first" Blackwall yelled angrily before turning to engage the attackers. Leading the young men as he went, "Conscripts here they come!"

"Why do we always stumble into these kind of things?" Varric muttered bringing Bianca up to aim.

"Because we're lucky," Bull grinned eagerly. "Stick close Boss, Cassandra threatened to cut off a horn if you so much as get scratched. And I'd look stupid lopsided."

I rolled my eyes and slid the leather strap that secured my staff to my back over my head. "Cassandra needs to stress less. Maybe Krem could teach her to knit nugs."

Even so I kept close to the Qunaris side as we rushed into the small fray to give Blackwall and the young men some help. They were very outnumbered and clearly out classed, the Warden the only one who fought with any confidence as he shouted out instructions to his charges.

"Hold the wall men, make them come to me!!"

I didn't have much of a chance to watch what was happening to Blackwall and his recruits as we came under attack ourselves. Bull charged straight in, taking out two guys in the blink of an eye, splattering blood left and right while I trailed behind. I ducked under a swing from one of the attackers and dug my staff into the dirt, using it to support my weight as I sent a two footed kick into another opponent's chest knocking him flat on his back. I landed and twisted to block a second swing from the first man, pushing his sword back and sending the sphere end of my staff into his gut causing him to double over.

"Nice move!" Bull growled appreciatively, carelessly throwing a knife into an oncoming attacker's leg causing them to stumble and fall to the ground.

"Skinners idea," I replied with a small proud smile and cocky twirl of my staff. "She wanted me to be able to surprise people with my attacks and nobody would expect me to actually do something like that. First time it's actually worked though, I always fell over during practice."

"Risky but effective," he pondered thoughtfully. "Skinner's craftier than I thought."

Before I could reply Bulls eyes widened and he threw out a large hand, shoving me heavily to the side as a third man charged through where I had stood, twin dagger sweeping down towards where my back had been. As he turned back around to try again he was met with the sharp edge of Bull colossal great axe as it cleaved into his chest. In return I dove to the Qunaris left and swiped the legs out from under the man I'd kicked who had just gotten back to his feet and was trying to flank Bulls blind side with his short sword. As he hit the ground a second time I made sure he'd stay down with a swift kick to his head, knocking him out cold while Bull went after the man I winded earlier.

A harsh voice yelled on the other side of the fight and caught my attention as it screamed angrily.

"You're dead bastard! Dead!"

I looked in time to see Blackwall facing down what seemed to be the last opponent left standing, a paunchy pale man who was shaking and red faced with rage. Furious that the Warden had foiled whatever plans he'd had.

"I wasn't here to fight!" Blackwall replied firmly, trying to reason with the man. "Stop and think!"

It was no use, the other man charged forward with a hate filled battle cry. Blackwall's shoulders seemed to drop slightly in disappointment before he straightened his form and came forward himself. Knocking aside the attackers' sloppy swing the Warden thrust his sword right past his guard and through the man's gullet before yanking it back out and viciously slicing across the man's chest. He fell back to the ground blood pooling quickly beneath him.

Blackwall sighed heavily and threw his sword to the side so it buried itself in the dirt. He crouched down on his haunches beside the fallen man examining the body gloomily before muttering a gruff "Sorry bastards" before standing back up to speak to his charges.

I couldn't tell whether he was apologising to the dead men or insulting them, maybe it was a bit of both. With the danger past Bull and I stood back a moment and waited to see what would happen next, Sera and Varric choosing to hang back.

"Good work conscripts," Blackwall said gravely to the young men who were still shaking and panting from the fight. At least they were all alive. "Even if this shouldn't have happened they could've- well thieves are made not born. Take back what they stole and go back to your families. You saved yourselves."

So the attackers were a group of thieves and Blackwall was helping these boys to get their possessions back. He couldn't be that bad then, Cassandra was just overreacting again.

With a few last grateful nods the young men wandered off and I approached the shaggy morose man.

"Sooo... That was something," I began awkwardly, not sure what to say.

He looked at me with suspicious eyes, thick eyebrows drawn together in thought. I realised suddenly that the man had many deep wrinkles and marks of age and ware on his face. Either he'd lead a hard life or Blackwall could easily be almost as old as my dad but still fought with such skill and strength. The Grey Wardens were something else entirely.

"You're no farmer, why do you know my name? Who are ya?" He shot off quickly.

_Geez were all Wardens this guarded and unapproachable?_

"Um... long story that," I said softly, trying for a friendly approach to put the man at ease. "I'm Evie and I'm with the Inquisition. I was asked to find you. You see the Wardens seem to have gone missing and we have concerns that they may somehow be involved with what happened to the Divine."

"Makers Balls!" He exclaimed loudly. "The Wardens and the Divine? That can't... No. You're asking so you don't really know."

"Well, that _is_ why I'm here...asking.... Because we don't know." I replied dully with a raised eyebrow. _What did he think I was talking to him about this for?_

"First off I didn't know they'd disappeared," Blackwall said almost defensively as he started to pace rigidly and few steps back and forward. "But we do that right? No more Blight job done, the Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I'll tell you, Wardens didn't kill the Divine! Our purpose isn't political."

_Oh_ , I realised with I start. He thought I was straight out accusing him and his order for the Divines murder.

_Ooops..._ No wonder he was being so defensive. I knew exactly what that felt like _._

"Nonono," I said quickly backtracking. "I didn't mean to blame you or your order for anything. I'm just trying to get information. The only Warden we've been able to find is you. Where are the others?"

My response seemed to placate him enough that he stopped pacing.

"I haven't seen any other Wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting. Not much interest because the Archdemon is a decade dead. And no need to conscript as there is no Blight coming."

"So what was all this about," I asked confused. "I heard you call those men conscripts."

Blackwall's eyes seemed to gleam and his mouth twisted up into a smug smile beneath his beard. "Treaties give Wardens the right to take what we need, who we need. These idiots forced this fight so I _conscripted_ their victims. They had to do what I said so I told them to stand. Next time they won't need me. Grey Wardens can inspire, make you better than you think you are."

"That's.... I can't tell whether that really noble of you or just cleverly manipulative." I replied feeling torn and stunned. Blackwall had basically tricked and forced these people into being self reliant and able to fight for themselves. Even if it was a slightly underhanded and forceful way of going about it he'd helped them. "Can you really take whatever you want under theses treaties?"

"It's a bit more complicated than that," he replied shrugging his wide shoulders. "If there's a Blight everyone has to help in the effort to fight it. The treaties are ancient. Outside of a Blight it's as binding as a clever tongue can make it."

"Useful, in the right hands" Bull grunted over my shoulder watching the Warden cautiously.

"I suppose..." I murmured not really convinced. To me it felt like he was exploiting a loophole in a contract but at the same time he'd done it for a good cause. My head was beginning swim with my own conflicting opinions and we were getting off topic. We came here to get answers about where the Wardens were after all. So I changed the subject. "You have any idea where the other Wardens may have gone?"

"Maybe they returned to our stronghold in Wiesshaupt?" He replied looking unsure. "That's in the Anderfells, a long way north. I don't really know. I can't imagine why they'd all leave at once let alone where they'd disappear to."

"Makes you wonder why you haven't gone missing too?" Bull said calmly watching the Wardens reaction.

Blackwall didn't seem to notice Bulls subtle accusation or if he did he choose to ignore it.

"Well maybe I was going to. Or maybe there is a new directive and a runner got lost or something. My job was to recruit on my own. I planned to stay that way for months, years."

"That's awful!" I gasped quietly making both Blackwall and Bull look at me in confusion and I blushed in embarrassment. I hadn't meant to blurt that out. "I mean being so secluded... for such a long time. Don't you get lonely?"

Blackwall stared at me for a moment with his mouth slightly agape before coughing and turning away, a slight pink tinge appearing from beneath his facial hair. I blinked at his response in bewilderment. Bull's chest began to shake as he tried to stifle a snigger, I glared at him and sent an annoyed punch into his ribs.

"What?!" I asked huffily. "Why are you laughing? What did I say?"

"Nothing," He chuckled eyes alight with amusement. "Sometimes you're just too cute Boss, so innocent..."

I continued to glare at the big guy, feeling my entire being heat with the humiliation of being the butt of some joke. Made worse by the fact I didn't understand what was so funny.

"I mean it," I murmured indignantly, fidgeting nervously with the ends of my braid. "It seems so isolating. I would personally hate not being around friends or family for so long."

"It's ...ah, not that bad really." Blackwall offered. "It's part of being a Warden. You get used to it."

I couldn't help but notice his eyes refused to meet mine as he spoke.

"If you say so," I replied completely unconvinced but not willing to push the argument with a stranger. Why anybody would want to travel alone for years was beyond my comprehension. The revelation also ran our interrogation straight into a brick wall. I felt my shoulders slump and my face drop a little in disappointment. Unfortunately Blackwall seemed to have as much information about what was happening with his order as we did.

I sighed heavily and pushed my fringe back from my eyes in frustration.

"Guess we're right back where we started then," I said giving the Warden a small apologetic smile. "Sorry to have bothered you. Thank you for your time Blackwall, if you find out anything or think of something you may have forgotten please contact us."

I turned to Bull and with a small parting wave we walked back to where Sera and Varric were waiting a short distance away. Sera looked bored while Varric looked thoughtful, I was sure they would have been able to hear most of the conversation from the distance they were standing.

"Well that was a waste a time," Sera scoffed as she and Varric fell into pace to my side and we began to track back around the lake.

"Leliana will be disappointed that we couldn't find out more but at least we'd made contact. If we found Blackwall surely there will be others out there." I defended trying to be optimistic.

"You sure we can trust that he didn't know anything?" Varric asked reasonably. "He could be hiding something."

I thought for a moment then shook my head.

"No he seemed genuinely surprised to hear the Wardens were missing to me-"

"Boss..." Bull suddenly rumbled in warning before heavy foot falls could be heard from behind us. I turned to find Blackwall running to catch up to us.

"Wait!" He called not at all out of breath. "Inquisition... Agent did you say? Hold a moment."

We did, waiting a moment for him to come to a stop in front of our small group.

"Is everything ok?" I asked cautiously. "Do you remember something?"

Blackwall shook his head negative, causing his long hair to flop about his face.

"The Divine is dead and the sky is torn. Events like these... thinking we're absent is almost as bad as thinking we're involved. If you're trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden." He said boldly, standing a little straighter. "Maybe you need me."

"You want to join us?" I replied eyes wide and taken aback. "Can you even do that if you're already part of the Wardens?"

"Don't see why not," He said gruffly. "I've heard about the work your doing, what better place for me to do some good? We're both after the same thing after all. And after hearing all this I'd like to find the same answers your seeking."

Made sense to me and the more experienced people we had on board the better right? I looked to the others. They all seemed to look rather indifferent, shrugging and looking towards me like it was my decision.

_Thanks guys...._

"Well I'm sure the Inquisition would be happy to have you join us Blackwall." I said with a smile. "We gladly accept your offer."

"Good to hear," He smiled back looking slightly sheepish as his smile turned soft and sad. "Perhaps I _have_ been keeping to myself for too long. This Warden walks with the Inquisition."

I grinned and opened my arms widely.

_I knew he'd been lonely...._

"Welcome to the madness Blackwall, hope you like weirdos and misfits because you'll be dealing with a lot of them from now on."

 

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

We returned to camp later that afternoon weighed down with the fallen carcasses of our successful hunt. It had taken a while but once we'd tracked down and stalked a small pack into a long gorge actually killing the helpless creatures had taken no time at all. Sera and Varric had done most of the killing, each quickly taking out two of the animals in quick succession. My own shot had gone a little wide of target, the first hitting the ram in its rump then my second shattering on a rock behind it as it tried to scamper away. Varric had been quick to end the poor creature's misery when I'd failed.

"You need more practice Sunshine," he'd teased. "Aiming for the ass won't kill anything."

He was right, but I'd been spending more time focusing on my melee combat than my archery. When you shot an arrow its purpose is to kill.

Blackwall and Bull both managed to somehow carry two rams each, much to my amazement, while Varric and I shared the weight of the fifth between us. Sera refusing point blank to touch the rams once they were dead, wrinkling her nose and exclaiming loudly in disgust.

"It's all just parts and meaty mush now. It's gross!"

Couldn't argue with her on that one. It was rather unnerving balancing the floppy dead weight of the ram, its limp head swayed with each step while its tongue kept lolling out of its mouth. I held my breath to stop the smell from making me gag as we lugged it back to camp, reminding myself that it was all for a good cause. These rams could easily provide food for half the refugees in the crossroads not to mention a treat for the Inquisitions men tonight.

Cassandra did not seem the least surprised by our arrival, confirming my suspicions that she had been keeping tabs on us since our departure. Blackwall was introduced to the others with varied responses. Despite their earlier reservation Cassandra and Solas both seemed accepting of the Warden while Vivienne displayed her usual indifference and politely offered Blackwall a bar of soap.

One of the rams was quickly diced up and divided into two very large pots of stew for the men and women at camp. The rest were cut up and the meat salted and wrapped in some waxy paper for transfer to The Cross Roads early the next morning, the skins set aside to make into leather or fur rugs. I tried to watch and learn how the whole process was done myself but the moment one of the scouts began pulling the skin back off the dead rams belly I felt the blood drain from my face and my knees go wobbly. I made a hasty retreat to the other side of camp after that and distracted myself by shooting arrows into a nearby tree. By the time dinner was ready the sun had set and the campsite was flooded with the smell of wood fire smoke and ram stew. I grabbed a large bowl of my own then set about looking for a place to sit, eyes falling to the closest fire where Blackwall had sat himself down on a fallen tree log. Figuring it was a good opportunity to get to know the man better I walked over.

"Mind if I join you?"

Blackwall looked up from his meal and swallowed the mouthful he'd been chewing.

"Go ahead," he replied grinning widely as I took the spot next to him on the log. "I should thank you for letting me join, if only for the good food. This is the best meal I've had in months."

I hummed in agreement tasting a mouthful of the stew for myself. It was actually pretty good, I'd need to find out what they'd put in it for future reference. "I suppose always travelling like you do makes a good home cooked meal hard to come by."

He nodded gravely, "Never been much of a hunter myself so most the time its travel rations unless I find a decent tavern."

"Which are harder to find than you'd think," Varric chimed in finding a comfortable patch of grass across the fire with his own potions balanced on his lap, Solas followed quietly and choice a seat across from where I sat. "Most taverns you'd find on the road offer meal as good as pigs slop."

"We'll you'd be the one to know," I quipped. "I bet the Hanged Man got the best reviews in Kirkwall for its food."

The dwarf sighed happily in reminiscence, "They had the finest slop in the Marches."

I giggled. From everything I'd heard of Varrics favourite tavern it was the worst and best dive in all of Thedas. I wouldn't have been surprised to hear the meals were bought out to its dinners by roaches.

"Nothing beats fresh meat." Bull boomed sitting on Blackwalls other side, causing the log to lurch beneath us as his weight settled.

The others of our group soon followed suit. Sera flopping down gracelessly on my free side. The elf was already stuffing her face with hunks of ram meat. Cassandra and Vivienne found seats around our fire, sitting carefully on a spare log. Vivienne taking a dainty mouthful and wrinkling her nose slightly before recommencing her meal.

"Not up to your nobby standards Vivvy," Sera teased nastily.

"It will do," the Mage relied with dignity, refusing to be baited by Seras words. "It would be foolish to waste such a meal even if it is rather... simplistic. One must adapt to the circumstance presented. Though that doesn't mean I wouldn't rather be eating something more decadent. It's certainly better than stale bread and hard tack."

That was very true. Travel rations were incredibly dry and tasteless.

"So Blackwall," I started trying to distract from the inevitable round of insults that would soon follow if Vivienne and Sera kept up the current conversation. "What is your actual name?"

"E-Excuse me?" he coughed, choking slightly on his mouthful.

"Well it can't just be Blackwall." I pressed. "I'm sure your parents would have given you a first name to go with the surname."

"Oh right," Blackwall said sheepishly. "It's Gorden."

Sera sniggered. "Gooor-den..."

"Gorden..?" I frowned sounding it out. The name reminded me of an old kids show about trains I'd used to watch when I was little. For some reason it just didn't seem to fit the Warden. "Somehow you don't seem like a 'Gorden' to me. Um... no offense."

He shrugged not concerned, "None taken. Most just call me Blackwall. I prefer it."

"Blackwall it is then," I agreed happily.

We continue to eat for a few moments before a scout with long red hair came forward with a roll of parchment.

"Letter for you Seeker Pentaghast," She said, bowing respectfully has she offered the letter. Cassandra took the paper and unrolled it reading while she ate and dismissing the runner with a nod.

Bulls good eye followed the scout as she walked away. The extra sway of her hips suggesting she knew he was watching and didn't mind the attention. She was rather pretty, her hair was lovely and she had the kind of hour glass figure most girls would kill for or go broke trying to buy. I wasn't surprised she'd caught Bulls eye. Then again it didn't take much to gain Bulls temporary interest. Back in Haven I heard several people gossiping about the large Qunaris nightly activities, even some of Mother Giseles Chantry Sisters had been caught in some compromising positions. And I'd personally seen him trying to put the moves on Harrit before we left. It appeared Bulls type was everyone.

"Hey Varric?" he said gaze still watching the women make her way across camp. "You know that chick's name."

"How should I know Tiny?" Varric scoffed more interested in scraping the bottom of his dish.

"Because you know everyone?" Bull hedged.

"Well I don't know her," the dwarf replied.

"Anyone else know her name?" Bull asked looking about hopefully.

Nobody answered.

"No one?"

"You want in her pants your going to have to do some of your own snooping." Varric chortled.

I felt my checks heat.

_God were we really talking about this so openly?_

He grunted in annoyance, "Fine then. I don't need a name anyway. Anyone know which tent is hers...?"

Several in our party groaned in disgust. Sera cackled.

"Please reframe from stalking Inquisition troops Bull. It's creepy," Cassandra said reproachfully.

"Not if she likes it it's not. Some ladies like to be..... hunted." He replied waggling his eyebrow and winking at the Seeker suggestively.

"Bull! Seriously show some restraint," I exclaimed in horror. "Do you have to flirt with everyone you meet?"

"Says the girl who enquired about a Wardens sex life barely minutes after meeting him," Bull retorted grinning eagerly.

_Wait .... What?!_

I felt my face go scarlet as all eyes around the fire fell to me for one silent heart beat. Blackwall coughed awkwardly and turned his face away while Sera leaned into my side elbowing me suggestively.

"Should have known you liked the rugged type after you grabbed a handful of bandit butt back in The Storm Coast." She leered. "Didn't know you worked so fast. You go my lady ladybits!"

"Wha- N-no I didn't-" I stammered.

Vivienne looked at me in disappointment. "Really my dear I thought you'd have better taste than that."

"Uh... uh...." I was speechless, looking about the group and seeing Varric almost crying as he laughed, bent over at the waist next to a pleased looking Bull. Cassandra was looking in astonishment between Blackwall and I like she was expecting us to be holding hands or something. My panicked eyes fell across the fire to where Solas sat staring at me in surprise before frowning slightly and looking across to the Warden with an icy gaze.

_Oh no, he thinks I'd been hitting on Blackwall!_

"I didn't!" I protested in horror, not wanting Solas to get the wrong idea. "Bull you are such a liar I did no such thing!"

"Really..?" He purred before putting on a sickeningly sweet voice and tilting his head to the side, leaning towards Blackwall and cupping both hands under his chin as he battered his eyelashes demurely. "You've been out there all by yourself for sooo long, don't you get _lonely_?"

The fire pit erupted into an uproar of laughter as the Qunari finished his impression of me. Even Cassandra chuckled while Vivienne hid her snicker behind a delicate hand.

_Oh my god.... that's why they'd been laughing at me earlier! I hadn't even realised._

I groaned and buried my face in my hands feeling like I was going to boil with humiliation. No wonder Blackwall was blushing and refusing to look my way. When the Qunari put it like that it sounded like a cheesy pick up line not the sympathetic comment I'd meant it to be.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I defended shaking my head and looking about my companions with pleading eyes. "Honestly I never even thought of... of that stuff. I just meant he'd be missing companionship and... Wait that doesn't sound any better, does it? Shit!..... I'm sorry Blackwall, I only meant to be friendly ...damn it now it sounds so dirty!"

Sera fell backwards of the log kicking her legs as she roared with laughter, snorting. I was too humiliated to glare at the elf properly, but I tried.

"It's not funny! It would be horrible not to have human contact for such long periods- Damn it not like that!"

"Just stop Sunshine," Varric sighed, pulling himself out of his fit of chortling to happily wipe a tear from his cheek. "You're just digging a bigger hole for yourself."

"Yeah, I might just do that." I mumbled looking cautiously up at Solas to see he was laughing softly in at my expense.

_Urgh! I was such a dork....._

Cassandra shook her head in exasperation. "I don't know what we're going to do with you Herald, you really are unbelievably oblivious."

"Thanks Cassandra, really feeling the love right now." I grumbled. A hasty retreat to my tent and an early night was looking pretty good at the moment.

"Wait a moment, Herald?" Blackwall said, looking to me in confusion. "As in the Herald of Andraste? You're the Herald? I thought you were just an agent."

I blinked at him stupidly then offered him a small apologetic smile. I'd never actually told the man my title and the mark was usually pretty well hidden behind my glove.

"Yeah... about that.... I didn't mean to trick you..." I said trailing off guiltily.

"You didn't tell him?" Cassandra snapped incredulously.

"It didn't come up." I offered shrugging lamely.

She frowned reproachfully at me and I winced. I was probably going to hear about this later.

"But you're so young," Blackwall said shocked.

"I'm not that young! I replied indignantly glowering at the man. "I'm twenty-one."

"Now I feel old," he said chuckling before his face suddenly reddened again and his eyes widened. "Makers Balls! The Herald of Andraste asked me about my sex life!"

"I DID NOT! DAMN IT BULL! Look what you started!"

"I can't help it Boss," Bull responded laughing heartedly. "Not my fault that the whole sweet and innocent thing you got going really works for you. You probably don't even realise how appealing that can be to a bunch of hardened soldiers. It's no wonder people want to believe your flirting with them."

"I am not sweet and innocent!" I argued huffily. He made me sound like a child. I was a grown ass women god damn it not some clueless kid. "I'm a total bad ass!"

"Oh, is that so?" Bull said leaning forward around Blackwall. "Maybe I should find out just how bad you are...."

My eyes felt as large as my bowl as they widened in surprise and horror, my jaw dropping to my sternum.

_He couldn't be serious. Was he joking? He had to be joking. He'd freaking break me!_

"BULL!" Cassandra yelled, while she and Vivienne glared down the Qunari like a pair of angry mothers.

"Makers mercy...." Blackwall groaned.

"To far Tiny," Varric said shaking his head. "Waay too far."

"Whooo! Get some Lady ladybits!" Crowed Sera.

"Astrid," said Solas his smooth voice cutting through the noisy uproar like a shard of ice.

All eyes fell to the elf in confusion, including mine.

_.... Astrid?_

"What?" Bull asked voicing all our thoughts in one word.

"The scouts name is Astrid. Her tent is the second on the end of the row closest to the forest. She likes the smell of blood lotus and has a cat named Tinkles back home." He answered coolly, raising an eyebrow at the Qunari. "That was what you wanted to know correct?"

There was silence.

I looked over at the calm elf in astonishment, fighting down a sudden wave of irrational annoyance and jealousy.

_Why did he know her name and which tent was hers? And how the hell did he know that she like the smell of stupid blood lotus and had a stupid cat!_

_....._

_WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH ME?!!!!!_

Bulls face split into a wide grin. "Astrid huh.... nice."

Finishing off the last of his stew in one big gulp the large Qunari stood and stretched.

"Well I will see you all in the morning," he said as he walked away from the fire and towards the edge of the small lake. "I have somewhere to be."

I stared after him in astonishment.

_Was he seriously for real?_

Conversation turned back to something more civil after that though it wasn't long before Cassandra decided it would be for the best that we all turn in for the night. We had a big day ahead of us tomorrow and even the pleasant atmosphere of the camp did little to quell my sudden nerves at the thought as Sera and I set ourselves up in our shared tent near the edge of camp.

Tomorrow we went to the Mages. If everything went well we'd be one step closer to closing the Breach. But only if it went well, and there was so much that could go wrong. Look what had happened with the Chantry in Val Royeaux.

With the unpleasant notion of failure hovering over me as I tried to settle I was drawn out of my dark thoughts by the nearby sounds of rustling from the tent across from ours and a deep rumbling voice as it purred into the darkness.

"How's it going Kitten," Bull rasped into Astrid tent. "You look a little lonely. Mind if I join you in there?"

_OH MY FUCKING GOD! You have got to be kidding me. This can't be happening_! _I didn't want to hear that!_

I threw my blankets over my head and tried to think of a happy place.

_Was it too late to kick him out of the Inquisition?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a like and a comment if you enjoyed. They mean so much to me.  
> Hopefully I can get the next chapter out quicker this time.


	28. Behind Every Good Mage.... Is Tevinter?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Now I officially hate you. I hope you caught a rash off her."
> 
> Evie and her companion go to Redcliffe to meet with the Mages finding nothing but more problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, I'm so so so so sorry its taken so long to update. Sometimes it cant be helped but I do try to get chapters out at least once a week. Unfortunately these last two have just been a little tricky to complete on time.  
> Also can I just add that all you readers that have left kudos or comments are just wonderful, seriously it makes my day.  
> So back to a bit of plot this chapter, a lot of game dialog but hopefully by now you know the drill.  
> Hope you enjoy.

## Behind Every Good Mage... Is Tevinter? ##

 

It was a beautiful day; the sky was clear and blue with the odd fluffy white cloud drifting lazily across the brightly glowing sun. The birds were chirping and the air was fresh and mild, smelling of wet grass. Even the Breach seemed to glow and ripple happily looking less stormy than normal as we travelled along the worn wide path that counted for a road in the farming countryside that was the Hinterlands, the occasional fennic or nug running across our path. Today belonged in the opening of a classic Disney movie.

Yet I couldn't bring myself to enjoy it.

Why?

Because I was fuming!

As our large group progressed towards Redcliffe I made it my mission in life to kick a particularly bothersome fist sized rock, that I'd tripped over earlier, all the way to the Redcliffe gates. Taking out my frustration on the unfeeling object, while glaring at it with eyes as dark as bruises. Thankfully most of my companions were giving me plenty of space, likely either in fear of my rock striking their ankles or because Varric had warned them to do so. He, Cassandra and Solas knew very well just how moody I could be when I didn't get any sleep. When that lack of sleep was caused by someone else however, I tended to get more than a little temperamental.

I was being downright hostile.

My life was a constant hectic battle these days. I needed a lot of energy just to keep up with mental strain of everything that was happening, let alone all the physical activity I did while travelling and fighting. Sleeping not only recharged my metaphorical batteries but provided a brief escape for my frenzied mind to rest and unwind. To have that taken away because a certain someone couldn't keep it in his pants.....

_Grrrrrrrrrr!_

"Come on Boss," said the horny bastard in question, running to catch up with me. "You still mad about the teasing? You should have told me it was bothering you, I would have stopped."

"I'm not angry about the teasing Bull," I hissed through gritted teeth.

 _Though it didn't help his case much either_.

"Oh good," He said sighing in relief. "Because I was only doing that as a favour for Cullen-"

"I'm mad because of Astrid!" I interrupted glaring viciously at the big man over my shoulder.

"Astrid? The chick from last night, why are you mad about her?" Bull asked bemused before leering at me gleefully. "Wait your not jealous are you?"

"Jealous!" I shrieked indignantly in angry disbelief and accidently missing my rock when I attempted to kick it forward. "You think I'm jealous of her! You're supposed to be able to read people Mr super spy Ben Hassrath and you still don't get it. Unbelievable! I don't give a flying nugs butt who you sleep with Iron Bull. Go ahead and screw half the population if you wish. I don't mind. I just don't want to have to hear it ALL BLOODY NIGHT!"

He chuckled lightly, "She was certainly a bit of loud one wasn't she?"

"A bit? A BIT!" I wailed stoping in my tracks to face him. Distantly aware that Varric was muttering something about 'the return of Thunderstorm' to the other onlookers who stood by to watch my hysterical breakdown, but I was beyond the point of caring. "That giant at The Storm Coast was quieter. And you were no better buddy. You kept half the camp awake. And you were at it for hours! By the time you stopped I was too traumatised to sleep and then when I finally did drift of you inconsiderate jerk... You started up again!!! How is that even possible?! How are you not as tired as I am right now? I didn't sleep a bloody wink last night thanks to you. I'm so tired and I look like a flippin' racoon with these bags and I'm supposed to meet with the stupid Mages and be smart and alert and I can't and it's entirely your fault Bull!"

The Qunari looked down at me with a stunned expression on his face, taking in my flushed appearance and heavy breathing post the exhausting rant I'd just delivered. Then his features melted into and amused smirk.

"Even with all that rage you didn't drop one real swear word." He said in wonder. "You know you're kind of adorable when you're mad."

I growled and kicked my rock with enough force that it struck a tree on the side of the road and split in two. Undeterred I stalked after the bigger section.

"I sooooo don't like you right now Bull," I groused nudging it back onto the road with my boot.

"You really need your sleep don't you?" He said pleasantly still following.

"You aren't even going to apologise are you?" I cried in disbelief.

"Why would I?" Bull replied unrepentantly. "It was great sex. If I apologise for it that implies I regret it. And I do not regret it. She held this one position that-"

"That's it," I interrupted quickly. "Now I officially _hate_ you. I hope you caught a rash off her."

The mercenary captain just chortled good naturedly.

"Nah, you don't hate me. You're just a little wound up. Need your own Astrid to take the edge off."

"I do not! Urgh, you are unbelievable!"

"You can't stay mad at me forever Boss," Bull said smugly. "I'm too likable."

"I can try," I grumbled, before something he said registered in my mind. "Wait, what did you mean you were teasing me as a favour for Cul-?"

"My dears, if you would kindly finish your petty bickering you may be inclined to notice we are approaching Redcliffe and there seems to be something that will require your undivided attention Herald."

Vivienne's disapproving snark cut off my question and effectively distracted me from our conversation, drawing my attention to the large stone structure of a boundary wall and gate that was beginning to loom up ahead. Not an overly unusual sight apart from the unmistakable flickering green shine of an active Rift hovering over the tree line.

"Piss more demons. Just when I was starting to get happy about finally going to a proper village," Sera sighed dramatically. "No more... nothingness."

"I believe the word you're looking for is nature Buttercup." Varric supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, that stuff," Sera said happily. "No more nature please."

Solas sighed heavily and rubbed his face in disgust.

"Can we please focus on the Rift," the elf breathed in exasperation.

"Lighten up Chuckles," Varric replied cheerily. "We've dealt with plenty of these things now."

"One should not be too complacent when up against something that still remains widely unknown child of the stone," Solas chastised in his angry Fade expert tone.

"Solas is right," Cassandra said adding her voice to the fray and of course siding against the dwarf. "We must remain vigilant."

I had to admit she and Solas were right, no matter how many times we'd done this closing a Rift was always unpredictable. As I un-slung my staff and rolled my shoulders to loosen the muscles I forced myself to clear my head of my moody thoughts. Honestly I shouldn't be being so hard on Bull anyway, I was letting my lack of sleep get the better of me.

And possibly some unresolved frustration over a certain elfs seeming familiarity with another women and associated my irrational jealousy. But I was choosing to ignore that for the moment.

_I was writing that one off into the 'Don't go there' box._

It wasn't Bulls fault he was an incorrigible man whore.... it was probably a cultural thing. Yep, I was going with that excuse.

The gates to Redcliffe Village were down, protecting the town from a Rift that quite literally sat on its door step. Thankfully as of yet no demons had been spawned but from the persistent crackle and pull I was feeling in my marked palm it would only be a matter of minutes. Upon our approach a female guard came running towards us shouting orders over her shoulder at the men behind the portcullis.

"I want a constant watch on that thing. Sound the alarm at the first sight of demons!" she approached us in determined strides seeming not to notice our drawn weapons as she began to order us away. "You need to turn back. We can't open the gates until the threat is passed."

"Well I could help you with that if you like," I said happily.

Before she could reply the Rift sparked and several tendrils of dancing green energy struck the ground. Patches of green mist began to swell and the demons began crawling out.

"Maker save us...." The guard said, backing away in fear.

"No need to bother him," Varric pipped up. "We got this one."

Cassandra rolled her eyes and stalked forward, "Let's get this over with. Get the Herald to the Rift and watch her back as she closes it. Stay alert."

Half a dozen demons came into existence under the Rift. Considering that there were eight of us present for the fight it should have been a simple task. However three of those demons were Terrors, one a Rage demon and the remainders all Shades. This was going to be a tough one. Solas started trying to freeze the fiery Rage demon with Blackwall doing his best to keep its attention and deal it damage. Vivienne calmly cast out a wide protection spell on us all before falling into step beside Bull, Cassandra and I with her magic light saber energy sword at the ready as we rushed through to engage the Terrors and Shades. Varric and Sera providing cover fire.

I slid under the outstretched arms of a Terror and came to my feet beside a Shade, using all my strength I swung a two handed blow across its head making it stagger to the side, spinning my staff back round my second hit caught the creature in its chest pushing in back. A few bolts from Varric sailed into the Shades back and I finished it off by bringing my staff down on its head, already looking for my next target as it began to flake away. When green mist began to swirl around my ankles I made to run out of the substance knowing a Terror would be bursting through at any moment.

Then I suddenly found myself standing on the other side of the battle field, at least six metres away, legs burning with the strain of the abrupt dash I barely even remembered making. I blinked stupidly.

_Whoa! I knew I'd been improving but I didn't think I was that fast!_

A shriek from a second Terror to my left had me forgetting the bizarre event in favour of rushing the creature as it began to stalk towards Vivienne. With a shout I stuck hard at the back of its spindly legs. As it turned I readied myself to block its slicing sweep from its clawed hand.

Only when I raised my staff, I moved too slowly. It wasn't just me not being quick enough either, all my movements had suddenly slowed to a snails pace, no matter how much strength or energy I put into the motions. Like something was weighing down on me, even my breathing and blinking was happening at a fraction of the speed I would normally function. Something was literally slowing me down, only my mind seemed to be working at normal speed, noticing how across the way Sera was firing her arrows as per normal while Bull loped of the head of a separate Terror with ease. Behind my Terror Vivienne was staring at me with wide startled eyes, hand out stretched with a spell on the tips of her manicure finger tips that was not sending, almost frozen in place. Both of us having been caught up in some kind of slowing effect. One that the Terror was apparently free of as it raised its claws up high, intending to cut me in two.

And I couldn't do a damned thing.

_Oh..... shit!_

"Evelyn!" I heard Solas's panicked cry from across the grounds but couldn't even turn my head to look his way.

Just as the Terrors claws were about to make contact a flash of blue solidified in front of me. The demons strike hit the barrier spell and shattered it, but the magic was enough to blunt the force of its attack. Instead of slicing me in two it struck me across the chest with the force of a wild boar and sent me tumbling back to the ground. Winded and bruised but in one piece.

_Thank God we had two Mages!_

Then just as abruptly as the slowness had come upon me it was gone, I sat up quickly just in time to witness Vivienne overwhelm the Terror with several well aimed ice missiles having apparently come out of the bizarre event same as me.

_What the heck was that?!_

"I suggest you take care of the Rift my dear," Vivienne advised calmly. "Before that happens again."

I couldn't agree with her more.

With most of the demons under control I raced to the Rift on shaking legs and began the familiar process of closing the hole in the Veil. As usual I felt my mark connect begin the usual tug of war over my life force as the Rift fought to stay open. Only this time something felt off. The energy beyond the Rift coming from the Fade felt twisted, wrong. It rolled and churned in discomfort and seemed to be screaming in turmoil. I felt it. And I felt it resonate in own being as I connected with it, something rotten and corrupt.

_Something was very wrong here._

I closed the Rift and the awful feeling disappeared with it. But I'd felt it, it haunted me like a phantom pain. I fell to my knees with my hands clasped across my mouth to stop myself from heaving up my breakfast. Body trembling in shock and revulsion.

A cool delicate hand settled on the back of my neck.

"Breathe through your nose darling," Vivienne commanded soothingly her hand channelling icy magic to my clammy neck.

I did as told, looking up from the grass only when I felt the familiar gentle touch of Solas's hands tipping my face to look at him as he crouched in front of me.

"What happened?" he asked in concern, brows furrowed.

I shook my head, unknowingly.

"I... I don't know. The Fade felt so.... wrong, like it was sick. It's never felt like that before when I've closed other Rifts."

The elf frowned darkly.

"And then there was all that strangeness before I even touched the Rift." I continued. "You felt all that too right? What's happening here?"

"That Rift altered the flow of time around itself," he explained with a strange mix of worry and fascination. "That is...... unexpected."

"I take that isn't how this normal goes?" Blackwall asked walking up to us, one of his hands wrapped tightly in a make shift bandage. This was his first time seeing me use the mark so there was no way for him to know.

I shook my head. "We've closed heaps of these things now, not once has any of them made me feel like I was wading through super glue while I fought."

_Or turned me into The Flash._

"None of my reports mentioned anything about temporal distortion near these Rifts... interesting." Vivienne pondered aloud, before dutifully making her way over to Blackwall to tend to his injury.

"We don't know what theses Rifts can do, they are still relatively unpredictable." Cassandra said reasonably.

"No, this felt really, really.... wrong," I implored. "I can't explain it. Something isn't right here. That Rift wasn't normal."

"The Rift messed up time," Bull grunted, nostrils flaring in agitation. "This is why my people get pissy about magic."

"I don't believe it to be as simple as that Iron Bull," Solas replied sounding miffed. "It more likely that something else is going on here and effecting the Fade in such a way that it is causing the Rifts to alter our reality or-"

"Stop it!"

I turned around in surprise to see Sera shaking her head with her hands clasped over her pointed ears.

"I don't want to know that kind of stuff," She whined childishly. "It's just wrong. Demons and rubbish are bad enough this is... just no."

"I'm sorry Sera, I didn't mean to upset you." I said guiltily. I hadn't meant to unnerve the poor girl so much but I should have realised I would. Sera hated this kind of thing. Even so this was clearly a something that needed looking into. "Maybe the Mages will know what's going on?"

"We will need to be extra cautious," Cassandra grumbled, as the Redcliffe guard returned to the gate looking about our party in disbelief. Cassandra starred at the poor women with suspicious eyes, clearly more on edge than usual.

"Maker have mercy," the guard gushed in obvious relief. "It's over. Open the gates!"

We stood by and watched the iron portcullis rise with several shuddering creaks, opening our way to the village and the Mages. We'd barely even passed the gate when an Inquisition scout came walking briskly towards us, his face partially hidden by his cowl.

"Seeker Pentaghast, Lady Herald." He greeted politely bowing his head and saluting, fist held over his chest and bowing his head.

I responded with a smile and a finger wave.

"Report," barked Cassandra.

"We've spread word the Inquisition was coming," he replied quickly. "But you should know that no one here was expecting us."

"No one?" I questioned curiously. "But Grand Enchanter Fiona invited us. She should be expecting our arrival eventually."

He shrugged unknowingly. "If she was, she hasn't told anyone. We've arranged use of the Tavern for the negotiations."

"Well things are looking up!" Varric chuckled rubbing his hands and elbowing Bulls hip suggestively.

Cassandra sent the dwarf a death glare, as usual Varric was not deterred. Once again I had to admire the dwarfs courage as we set forward down a high path that winded down towards the city of Redcliffe. The road was lined with occasional sections of crumbling waist high rock walls and plenty of trees and greenery. We passed clusters of guards and villagers alike, gaining both curious and suspicious glances as we did. Given the circumstances I couldn't blame them of being wary of strangers, particularly strangers like us. It was a slightly steep walk down but did provide us with a nice view of the village. Redcliffe was more than three times the size of Haven and given the more pleasant climate it had a lot more trees and plants dotting its landscape, giving it a brighter and warmer feel. Many of the homes even had thick luscious grass growing over the roofs. It looks so peaceful, built right of the edge of Lake Calenhad and built up around it as a fishing and trading town many of the building appeared newer than others. From my lessons I recalled that Redcliffe had been hit hard towards the end of the last blight but had been rebuilt and grown in size since. Off to the left was a long stretch of mountain side and our progress was observed by the dilapidated ruins of an old and abandoned windmill that loomed and watched over the lakeside village like a grizzled old sentry. We eventually reached another wall and gate, this one made of spiked logs and overgrown with ferns, which was left wide open inviting everyone to come inside and yet again we were halted by the approach of someone looking for us.

An elf in a set of tattered battle Mage robes had been leaning against the fence in wait ran towards us as soon as we came into view. He was a scrawny looking elf, only slightly taller than me and just as slight. His shoulder length light brown hair was left loose but slicked back and tucked behind pointed ears. There were no signs of a vallaslin on his pale face, just nerves.

"Agents of the Inquisition," he greeted hastily almost tripping as he bowed his head. "My apologies. Magister Alexius is in charge now but hasn't yet to arrived. He's expected shortly. You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime."

_Wait.... What?_

Before anyone could question the elf he turned smoothly and beckoned us to follow, quickly cutting as a path towards the centre of the village.

With little other choice we followed.

"Magister?" I whispered to Cassandra as we trailed behind. "As in Tevinter Magisters?"

"So it would seem?" She replied lowly.

"I don't like this," Bull growled, knuckles popping as he clenched and unclenched his fists.

"What he said..." Sera muttered.

"Well we definitely need to find out what's going on now," I murmured darkly.

Today just kept getting more and more complicated.

"We should speak with the Grand Enchanter," Cassandra agreed.

We wound our way through the streets and up several sets of stairs until our guide lead us to a large round building with a tankard shaped sign hanging over the door which read The Gull and Lantern.

"The Grand Enchanter is inside," our guide said standing by the door and nervously wringing his hands.

I looked about our large group, all eight of us, including three fierce warriors, two obviously competent Mages, a dwarf with a weapon about as big as he was, a possibly deranged elven archer.... plus a girl with a glowing green hand and a big stick. Everyone of us well armed and clearly on edge. No wonder the elf looked ready to jump out of his skin, we appeared more likely to raid the place than negotiate.

"Maybe some of us should stay outside and wait?" I suggested. "Stay on guard out front in case of trouble or something."

After a brief discussion Blackwall and Sera volunteered to wait out front as they didn't have much interest in speaking with the Mages anyway. We ended up having to convince Bull to stay outside as well, the Qunari felt it would be safer to stay by my side but he was already prejudiced against anyone from Tevinter, it wasn't worth the possible fight that could occur if he heard something he didn't like. Civil conversation would be key to any negotiations and biased opinions would get us nowhere. Whatever was going on here we still needed to close the Breach and getting the Mages assistance was our first priority.

The Gull and Lantern was a rather dingy establishment. The tavern was mostly empty apart from a few persons sitting about nursing their tankards. Even though it was midday and the sun was quite bright the large room was dim with only small slivers of light slipping through the gaps in the shutters to light the area. The place smelt of salt and stale beer and was decorated with an obvious fisherman's theme. Nets and spears hang on the walls while crates and crab pots stacked in the corners. I felt like Captain Jack should be swaying across the floor boards to the worn looking bar and asking for rum and could feel Vivienne shudder in disgust at my side at the décor. In the very back corner there was a cluster of people wearing Mages robes, they all stood upon our entrance and my eyes immediately fell to the one recognisable face among them. The small figure of the Grand Enchanter standing strong and proud.

"Welcome agents of the Inquisition," Fiona said in her strong Orlessian accent, bowing her head in respect.

I nodded politely and the elf turned her attention to Vivienne.

"First Enchanter Vivienne," she greeted.

I looked between the two in a moment of confusion before realising that of course these two had meet before. They were both very high ranking and prominent Mages in Orlais after all. They probably regularly crossed paths at fancy parties.

"My dear Fiona," Vivienne replied voice saccharine sweet. "It's been so long since we last spoke. You look dreadful! Are you sleeping well?"

I winced.

 _So much for keeping things civil_. _Maybe I should have asked Vivienne to wait outside instead._

Honestly I should have realised earlier. Vivienne was leader of the Loyalist Mages, those who supported the circles rule. Fiona was leader of the Rebel Mages and her views were just about the complete opposite of Vivienne's. It was hardly a wonder that the two would butt heads.

_Yeah... dropped the ball with that one Evie._

At least Fiona seemed used to our Enchanters cattiness and decided to ignore her.

"What has bought you to Redcliffe?" She asked turning back to the Seeker and me.

"Um... You invited us. Back in Val Royeaux, you offered us help with the Breech..." I lead hopefully.

Fiona just looked confused.

"You must be mistaken," she said. "I haven't been to Val Royeaux since before the conclave."

I looked to my companions in confusion. They all seemed to be just as puzzled as me.

"Are you sure because I'm positive it was you who I spoke with. You don't have a twin do you?" I asked lamely.

"I- no. Exactly like me? I suppose it could be magic at work here, but why would anyone..." She shook her head regretfully. "Whoever or whatever has brought you here, the situation has changed. The Free Mages have already... pledged themselves to the service of Tevinter Imperium."

_Oh.... balls. That sounded bad._

"Fiona dear your dementia is showing," Vivienne purred pleasantly.

Solas scowled at the other Mage and took a gentler approach, stepping forward to address Fiona. "I understand you are afraid, but you deserve better than slavery to Tevinter."

All the Mages seemed to shift uncomfortably but said nothing. Fionas mouth was set into a firm unrelenting line.

"An alliance with Tevinter?" Cassandra mused out loud. "Do you not fear of all Thedas turning against you?"

Again Fiona said nothing to defend her actions instead she proceeded to change the subject. "As on indentured to a Magister I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you."

"Very well," Cassandra said crossing her arms. "Who does?"

As if on cue the rear door to the tavern opened and in walked a handful of people. The leading man of the group was middle aged with tanned skin and dark hair that was greying in places. He wore a set of elaborate layers of magenta, navy and mustard coloured materials with a chainmail peeking out from underneath. His cowl and shoulder pads were extravagantly and strategically pointed giving him the appearance of a spiny multicoloured lizard. His face was rather proud and distinguished despite the marks of age. He maintained a narrow goatee but his head seemed to be closely shaved under his hood.

To his right walked a younger man who shared similar features of the first man but was dressed in much more practical and less flashy armour.

"Welcome my friends," the first man welcomed warmly. "My apologies for not greeting you sooner."

My skin was crawling and my mind screaming like alarm bells. My subconscious was calling out loudly.

_'Bad guy alert! Run for it!'_

"Agents of the Inquisition," Fiona piped in. "Allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius."

"The southern Mages are under my command." Alexius said to Cassandra before his eyes fell past the Seeker to me. "And you are the survivor, yes? The one from the Fade?... Interesting."

The eager look to his face and almost hungry look in his dark eyes had me wanted to run right back out of the tavern and hide behind Bull. He was looking at me like I was a science experiment he was eager to dissect.

"Pardon my interruptionn but I have yet to see any sign of the Arl and his men, a strange thing given current circumstances." Solas abruptly said from behind, diverting the Magisters attention from me and drawing it onto himself.

I frowned thoughtfully. We'd seen plenty of guards on the way to the village but now that Solas mentioned it I didn't recall seeing any of them bearing the Redcliffe crest, or any other crest at that.

 _Where they all hired men? Alexius must be rolling in it if he can afford to hire an entire village guard worth of mercenaries_.

The Magister waved off the elfs concerns indifferently. "The Arl of Redcliffe left the village."

"Arl Tegan did not abandon his lands during the Blight, even when they were under siege." Cassandra replied darkly.

"There were tensions growing I did not want an incident," he replied unconcerned.

_That sounded ominous._

"Might we ask when this deal was struck?" Vivienne asked, as steely eyed as ever.

"When the conclave was destroyed these poor souls faced the brutality of the Templars, who rushed to attack them. It could only be through Divine providence that I arrived when I did." Alexius gushed dramatically, smug sneer twisting faintly at the corner of his mouth.

_Yeah right, divine providence my glowing green fist._

"It was certainly... very timely," Fiona murmured thoughtfully.

"Forgive me sir, I don't understand. How are the southern Mages under your command?" I enquired trying to remain polite despite my distrust of the man. "Fiona said she was indentured, what does that entail exactly?"

"Our southern brethren have no legal status in the Imperium. As they were not born citizens of Tevinter, they must work for a period of ten years before gaining full right. As their protector I shall oversee their work for the Imperium." Alexius explained almost kindly.

"But why, what do you get out of this?" I asked.

"For the moment the southern Mages are a considerable expense. After they are properly trained they will join our legion." Alexius voice was so clinical and matter of fact, it was like he wasn't talking about people at all.

"You said not all my people would be military," Fiona exclaimed clearly distressed. "There are children! Those not suited -"

Alexius cut her off sharply, "And one day I'm sure they will all be productive members of the Imperium. When their debts are paid."

My stomach twisted with dread.

_Oh Fiona what have you done?_

Whatever the cause it seemed that this Magister had gained control over the Rebel Mages by taking advantage of their fear, with the sole purpose of adding them to Tevinters legion of fighters. Sentencing them all to ten years of servitude as likely cannon fodder in exchange for protection. Not only that but in the process he had somehow managed to basically take control of a major Ferelden town.

_Who the fuck did this guy think he was? He wasn't even from this country! Surely this was illegal._

"You're a long way from Tevinter Alexius." I said darkly staring down the man, using my anger to stay firm. He couldn't possible have that much influence here to be able to pull this off.

"Indeed I am, though I have heard you are no Fereldin either. It seems we are both strangers here," He responded casually. Turning around and sitting himself down at a table.

I stiffened.

_What did he mean by that? Was he just referring to my cover story or was there something more to that comment? He couldn't possible know where I truly came from... Could he?_

"Come, sit." he said clearly gesturing for me to join him at the table, not Cassandra or any of the others. I looked over to the Seeker who nodded wordlessly her jaw tight.

"Felix would you send for a scribe, please?" Alexius said to the young man he'd entered with before turning back to us. Politian smile firmly in place. "Pardon my manors. My son Felix, friends."

Felix bowed politely before disappearing to find procure a scribe while I settled down onto a worn chair across from the questionable Magister.

"I'm not surprised you are here. Containing the Breach is not a feet many could even attempt," Alexius drawled shifting lazily in his seat. "There's no telling how many Mages would be needed for such an endeavour. Ambitious indeed."

I forced down my anger at the whole situation. No matter what we still needed Mages. I could play nice until we figured out what to do about the Magister.

"Well, there's a big hole in the sky. It kind of needs to be fixed so... yeah. We believe the Mages can help and seeing as fixing the Breach pretty much benefits everyone...." I trailed off hopefully.

Alexius smiled like he'd already won.

"There will have to be-"

The Magister was interrupted by the sudden reappearance of Felix, only Felix didn't look so good. The young man looked dazed, and shaky on his feet as he shuffled towards us. Alexius stood quickly and I followed suit as Felix drew closer, taking a step towards him myself.

"Hey are you alright?" I asked in concern. He really didn't look well.

Felix looked like he was about to wave me away, then his eyes rolled back into his head and he stumbled forward onto me. His sudden dead weight and bulky body making my legs buckle as I struggled to hold the man up.

"Whoa there big guy!" I grunted in surprise.

"Evelyn!"

"Herald!"

Solas and Cassandra were quick to my aid, helping to take the weight of the Magisters son for me and steady the man as he came out of his episode. But not before I felt a hand slide into the inside of my coat.

"I'm so sorry, please forgive my clumsiness my Lady," he apologise quickly, eyes looking to mind clear and intent.

"Uh sure, n-no problem..." I stammered awkwardly.

"Are you all right?" Alexius said as rushed to his sons side, frantically looking Felix over. He sounded truly worried and surprisingly close to tears.

I felt a sudden bite of guilt. Alexius was clearly a loving farther and here I was sure he was some kind of treacherous villain. I was judging him far too quickly. Maybe this was his way of trying to help the Rebel Mages.

"I'm fine father," Felix tried to placate.

His father ignored him. "Come, I'll get your powders. Please excuse me my friends, we will have to continue this another time. I shall send word to the Inquisition and we will conclude business at a later date."

"Of course," I murmured, watching as they began moving towards the rear door. "I hope you feel better Felix."

"Fiona I require your assistance back at the castle," Alexius barked to the elven women who quickly began to follow him out with her posse of Mages.

"I don't mean to trouble everyone," Felix apologised again, holding his stomach and looking pathetically ill as he shuffled out the tavern with his father.

Grand Enchanter Fiona sent us one last parting glance before she too left. She looked.... defeated, nothing like the strong proud women she'd presented as earlier. The sight made my stomach roll.

It wasn't until the door closed and all sounds of footsteps faded that I pulled out the note in the inside pocket of my jacket. And read out loud to my stunned companions

"Come to the Chantry. You are in danger!"

.....

_Well fuck._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked please leave a Kudos or comment, or even Bookmark if you're so inclined.  
> Next time Evie finally gets to meet the fabulous Dorian Pavus


	29. Always Trust An Excellent Moustache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's the moustache. Anyone who can not only pull of a moustache like that without looking like a creeper or an evil villain, but can manage to look suave while doing it can't be that bad."
> 
> The Herald and her friends head to the Redcliffe Chantry to get some answers and find someone interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! The Mage we've all been waiting for.  
> Thank you all for the views, Kudos and Comments. You people are wonderful!  
> As always I hope you enjoy.

 

## Always Trust An Excellent Moustache ##

 

My heart thudded a frightened beat against the inside of my ribs.

_'.... You are in danger....'_

Granted technically I was always in danger, what with most of Thedas still thinking I murdered the Divine and all that. I'd already witnessed and faced danger first hand through assassination attempts, the kidnapping by the Blade of Hessarian and every single time I'd entered a fight. So basically every time I ventured out of my cabin, now that I thought about it. You'd think I'd be somewhat used to it by now.

Yet that didn't stop me from looking about the now unnervingly empty dark tavern and imaging threats jumping out of every shadow and corner. Something about having a threat written down and made imminent put me on edge. I licked my lips nervously, mouth suddenly going dry and tried to reign in the irrational panic beginning to swell and settle in my stomach.

_Who was after me this time? Why? What did they want? Where they nearby? Would they hurt my friends to get to me?...... Was I going to end up in another dog cage?_

_Why did this always have to happen?_

"Ooo, very mysterious." Varric quipped casually, coming to stand by my elbow and looking up at me with his usual easy smile. "But the whole 'slip a warning into the hero's pocket thing' is a bit clichéd, wouldn't you say Sunshine?"

I smiled despite myself, Varrics light hearted disregard for the threat putting me more at ease than it should. Not that the dwarf wasn't taking the danger seriously, he looked out for my well being just as fiercely as Cassandra and Solas did. But his way of coping seemed to rely on a 'if you don't like something poke fun at it til it's not so frightening' approach. And it usually worked. He could see I was on edge, this was his subtle was of talking me down from my own anxiety.

"Almost as bad as the Magisters pointy outfit," I said swallowing down my fear and taking a page from the authors book. "Might as well have stitched 'I'm power hungry and up to no good' across his robes."

Varric laughed approvingly, Cassandra looked between the two of us and rolled her eyes. Coming forwards she gestured impatiently for the note which I happily handed over.

"The Magisters son dropped this?" She queried.

I nodded, "Slipped it into my pocket when he collapsed. This is getting ridiculous. Every time I start to think we're getting somewhere more trouble lands right at our feet. We're going to have to look into this aren't we?"

"Be cautious my dear," Vivienne warned. "Family name is everything in Tevinter."

I turned thoughtfully towards the enchanter, "Then why did he go to such lengths to hide giving me the warning in front of his father? Unless you think it could be a trick to gain our trust."

"Elaborate bate for a trap," Solas murmured looking about suspiciously. "It may be best if we regroup with the others before we discuss this further."

We hastily made our way back out to the front of the tavern where Bull and Blackwall stood alert and at the ready, staring down all who got to close while Sera perched on the top of a stack of crates picking at her nails with the point of a loose arrow.

Bull took one look at our expressions and scowled.

"What happened?" he growled.

Cassandra handed over the note and quickly informed the others of what had transpired, being careful to keep her tone low so no one overheard.

"Fucking Vints," Bull rumbled lowly when she finished her explanation. "We should just leave, get out now and cut our losses. The Mages made their choice."

"We can't do that. Something more is going on here and have a feeling Felix knows what," I reasoned. "Besides if someone is threatening me I like to know who it is so I can avoid them in the future."

"You really think he wants to help you?" Blackwall asked not convinced.

I shrugged, unsure.

"Would he have risked getting caught by his father if he didn't? But I don't know, anything could be waiting for us in there." I answered honestly.

"Only one way to find out," Varric suggested confidently.

I nodded in agreement. After a brief look around we spotted the Chantry clearly visible from where it stood further up and almost perched on the side of the cliff face. Cassandra lead the way through the busy streets with Bull grumbling loudly at the rear of our party, muttering under his breath but dutifully following and glaring daggers at anyone who stared to long at our conspicuous group. When we reached the big heavy doors of the Chantry I hesitated with my hand on the handle.

This could very well be a trap ready to spring closed behind us. My blind trust and need to know what was going on could lead to my companions getting hurt or killed. Maybe Bull had the right idea, the Mages had gotten themselves into this mess so whatever was going on here was hardly our business. We had no ties to them. No one could blame us for stepping back and focusing on pursuing aid from the Templars instead.

Yet something was telling me the Mages needed help.

_How could I ignore that?_

"Well come on!" Sera sighed heavily in impatience. "It's no good staring at it."

I gritted my teeth and pushed the door open.

First thing I noticed was the familiar green light and humming crackle of an active Rift, its green light flickering about the desolate Chantry hall. For a brief moment I was stunned that I hadn't felt its presence earlier. Already a dozen different demons were pacing about between upturned pews and shredded red carpet. The holy building was a complete wreck with it banners torn and sections of both roof and wall collapsed. The Rift must have been active here for a while, the villagers closing off its Chantry to try and contain it.

And in the middle of it all stood a man. Spinning and weaving elegantly among the flood of monsters, he was holding back the horde of demons with ease. Twirling a Mages staff expertly around like it was an extension of his body in controlled powerful swings.

I stared, mouth agape. And I wasn't the only one.

Most of my companions were staring because finding a man single handedly holding back a flood of demons in an abandoned Chantry was not what anybody expected to come across here and it was an impressive sight to behold. But I suspected a few were astonished for the very same reason I was.

The man was absolutely, breath takingly gorgeous.

Tall, dark and handsome did little to describe the stranger as he moved flawlessly across the ruined hall. Wearing a set of glamorous leathers bound tight with many gleaming buckles and straps with a knee length shiny tan almost brassy gold coloured Mage robe over the top. An outfit that was strategically layered to flatter his lean and toned figure. Smooth tanned skin and pitch black hair styled to an almost modern earth style with a jaw line that went for days the man was to put it simply... perfection.

I checked my chin for drool.

It wasn't fair, Thedas seemed abundant in drop dead gorgeous men. Earth needed to lift its game or else I was going to end up staying here just for the eye candy.

In a move that seemed almost choreographed the stranger turned to face our direction, a demon already flaking away at his side as he fell a second with three impressive strikes from his staff.

Wack, wack, WACK! And then it to was nothing but flakes in the breeze while he straightened up from his position.

_Be still my heart._

"Good! You're finally here!" He said pleasantly. "Now help me close this, would you?"

_Oh right. Rifts were dangerous, not just something to provide pretty light used to ogle the mysterious stranger. Focus Evie!_

Without further delay we poured into the Chantry and upon the demons. Our usual teamwork now accompanied by the odd blast of intense fire or lightning spells from the stranger as he lent his aid in pushing the demons back. I made for the Shades or Wraths as they tended to fall easier under my blows than the few Terrors that had spawned would, ducking around and vaulting over church pews to reach my targets. I took out a Wrath then was forced to change directory when a shout from Cassandra alerted me to trouble nearby where Blackwall was running in slow motion from a pair of Shades that were quickly gaining on him, moving too slow to turn his head and see the oncoming danger.

I swore under my breath and ran his way. Apparently this Rift was also screwing around with time. I came in from the side, throwing my whole body into the closest Shade with a hip and shoulder causing it to stumble into its fellow demon. While it was unbalanced I pressed my advantage smacking it repeatedly over its head with my staff til it crumpled. Brutal and crass but effective. By the time I turned my attention to the second Shade Blackwall had come out of his slowness and had turned to fight back. I caught the Shades talons on my staff while Blackwall thrust his sword beneath my arms and through the creatures chest.

"Down you go," he grunted before looking about, not even pausing before searching out a new opponent. "Which one is next?"

"Take your pick," I chirped. "I'm going for the Rift."

With a nod Blackwall ran back towards a small cluster of Wraths converging on where Vivienne and Varric held position. With my way clear I rushed between two pews towards the centre of the Chantry intent on closing the Rift and ending this fight before any more weirdness occurred. Only I was forced to stop when a pool of green mist rapidly formed in front of my feet, quicker than was normal. Before I could even blink a Terror leapt up springing up from the floor like a creepy jack in the box to stand before me, gruesome fang lined maw wide and shrieking harshly, its claws shredding the air around it.

_Goddamn jump scare!_

I screamed in surprise and recoiled backing hastily away only to have the heel of my boot catch in the shredded red carpet beneath. Eyes wide and fearful I stumbled backwards, struggling to regain balance only to fall back into a solid wall of warm muscle beneath soft fabric. A firm tanned arm and hand appearing from behind to rest reassuringly on my hip to keep me steady.

"Mind your step my dear," the stranger smirked leaning around me and firing a wall of flame from the end of his staff at the approaching demon causing it to writhe and flail.

I shied away from the heat and gruesome scene in front of me, choosing instead to look up at the stranger to examine him more closely as he smiled happily at the carnage he was causing. Even up close he was perfect, not a blemish or scar marked his pretty face, only a completely appropriate beauty spot dotted high on his right cheek bone and close to one of his intense coal lined grey eyes. He sported an immaculate curled moustache and small neat patch of facial hair under his full lips and the man actually pulled it off without looking ridiculous. To top it off he smelled deliciously of cinnamon, gloves and spice, like my favourite chai tea blend.

_Ok.... this was getting to be waaay too much._

As the Terror began to flake away I forced myself from Mr Perfects hold much to my screaming hormones despair.

_Get a hold of yourself Evie!_ I internally berated myself. _You are not a love struck tween and he was not a Hemsworth! He is a possible threat. A really, really ridiculously good looking threat._

I backed away with heated cheeks and eyed the man suspiciously. He just smiled in amusement and gestured towards the Rift with a lazy flick of his hand.

"I believe you were planning on fixing that, yes? Don't let me distract you, though admittedly I am rather distracting."

That he was. As it turned out he also seemed to be moderately arrogant about it as well.

I didn't waste any more time. Turning my attention back to the Rift and reaching my palm out I let the mark flare to life and proceeded to force the Rift closed. Just like what had occurred at the gates the Fade beyond the Rift felt wrong and twisted, leaving me feeling sick and dirty when I finally closed the tear in the Veil. I had to close my eyes for a moment afterwards and force myself not to gag as bile rouse up in my throat.

_Urk!_

I felt so.... tainted.

When I looked up my companions had fanned out around the Chantry, all staring at the stranger in our midst intently. The man in question presented as completely oblivious to their distrust as he surveyed the now demon free Chantry with unreserved curiosity and wonder before turning back to face me.

"Fascinating!" He gushed coming forward and tilting his head curiously. "How does that work exactly?"

"Uh well... it uh... it kind of... I just... umm..." I trailed of uselessly and just shrugged, giving up.

I had no clue.

He chuckled haughtily. "You don't even know do you? You just wiggle your fingers and boom! Rift closes."

"Hey, I get the job done." I defended petulantly.

"So I've seen," he said on a laugh.

"Who are you?" I asked in bewilderment at the mans confident ease around a group of well armed fighter who looked ready to rip him to shreds.

"Ah, getting ahead of myself again, I see." He replied smoothly before bowing his head regally and introducing himself. "Dorian of house Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?"

"Evie Treval," I automatically replied and politely offered my hand to shake. "Pleasure to meet you."

He chuckled low in his throat.

"Such manors for a Southerner, how delightful!" Dorian murmured sounding pleased. Then to my shock and joy, he took my offered hand and turned it over, he briefly bowed his head over my knuckles in a chaste kiss instead of the traditional handshake. I felt the heat return to my cheeks as he looked back up, eyes glittering with mirth.

"Wow! Real smooth!" I blurted out on a surprised giggle. "You are quite the gentleman, aren't you?"

"Ah, it's good to see the lady recognises quality when she sees it," He replied with a wink.

I blinked stupidly at him, struggling to figure out if he was making fun or if he was seriously so pretentious.

"Another Tevinter," Cassandra groused.

"Let one in and suddenly they're scurrying out of all the walls like roaches," Vivienne added with a sneer.

"Now, now I'm ever so much more handsome than a cockroach," Dorian retorted cheerily smiling demurely at the Enchanter and Seeker.

"Watch yourself," Bull rumbled menacingly from behind me. "The pretty ones are always the worst."

"Suspicious friends you have here," Dorian said gleefully turning back to speak with me.

"Yeah," I agreed. "But they do an excellent job of keeping me not dead. And right now I think we could all use some reassurance of why you were waiting here in this destroyed Chantry filled with demons. You know, before we jump to conclusions."

"Magister Alexius was once my mentor. So my assistance should be valuable, as I'm sure you can imagine." The charming Tevinter explained.

"Mentor?" I queried cautiously, trying to put all this together. "Soo are you a Magister too?"

"All right, let's say this once." He sighed heavily in exasperation, folding his arms and looking down in annoyance. "I'm a Mage from Tevinter, but not a member of the Magisterium. I know Southerners use the terms interchangeably, but that only makes you sound like barbarians."

"Oh... Sorry," I murmured feeling stupid. "I thought Felix was going to be meeting us."

"I'm sure he's on his way. He was to give you the note, then meet us here after ditching his father." Dorian explained.

"Is he alright?" I asked honestly concerned. "Alexius looked ready to panic when Felix collapsed."

"He's had some lingering illness for months," The Mage explained vaguely. "Felix is an only child and Alexius is being a mother hen, most likely."

I had a feeling there was more to it than that, but I wasn't about to press the issue.

"You said he was your mentor, then why are you trying to help us?" Cassandra asked suspiciously.

"Alexius _was_ my mentor. Meanings he's not any longer. Not for some time."

I wanted to believe the man but I was still wary and I wasn't the only one. When everyone continued to eye the stranger with distrust he rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Look you must know there is danger," he contended steadfastly. "That should be obvious even without the note. Let's start with Alexius claiming the alliance of the Mage rebels out from under you, as if by magic yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition Alexius distorted time itself."

That didn't sound good.

"He changed things so he could get here just after the Divines death?" I breathed in disbelief.

Dorian smiled and winked at me. "Clever girl, you catch on quick."

"That is fascinating, if true," Solas cut in smoothly and frowning darkly at the other Mage. "And almost certainly dangerous."

Vivienne scoffed in disbelief at the very notion. "Manipulating time itself? Many have attempted over the ages, but never once succeeded."

"The Rift you closed here? You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down," Dorian reasoned. "Soon there will be more like it. And they'll appear further and further away from Redcliffe. The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable. And it's unravelling the world."

_Nice one Alexius,_ I thought bitterly. _Way to go and destroy the world... Well more so than it was already being destroyed I suppose._

"You're asking us to take a lot on faith," Cassandra growled, still not convinced.

"I know what I'm talking about," He argued. "I helped develop this magic. When I was still his apprentice it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work."

Well it was working now. I knew from the guarded looks on my friends faces that most if not all of them still doubted Dorian's story. But I didn't think he was lying. Not about the time magic at least. It may be farfetched, but in a world with dragons, demons and various other forms of magic was time travel really that impossible?

"It would explain the icky feeling in the Fade around here." I added stomach rolling at the thought and looking to Solas for confirmation. "I think maybe this time magic is interfering with the Fade, its changing it somehow... Corrupting it."

The elfs brow furrowed thoughtfully.

" _Icky_ feeling...? Interesting..." Dorian pondered before shaking his head clear of the distracting thought."What I don't understand is why he's doing it? Ripping time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys?"

I scowled at that. These were people we were talking about, not chest pieces to be collected.

"He didn't do it for them."

I jumped at the sudden reappearance of Felix, the Magisters son striding calmly into the hall looking as well as possible. I noticed both Bull and Blackwall tighten their grips on their weapons. We still out numbered the Tevinters but who knew how many others could be in hiding.

"Took you long enough," Dorian greeted warmly, ignoring the hostility. "Is he getting suspicious?"

"No, but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he'd be fussing over me all day." The young man replied before turning to face the rest of us. "My father has joined a cult. Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves 'Venatori'."

"Well that sounds nice, frigg'n wonderful." Sera sassed sarcastically by her place at the door.

"And I can tell you one thing; whatever he's done for them, he's done it to get to you," Felix continued his eyes falling to where I stood.

"Me?" I cried incredulously. "Why does he want me? And how does him indenturing the Mages help him at all?"

"They're obsessed with you," Felix explained. "But I don't know why. Perhaps because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes?"

I felt my stomach drop with dread, the Magisters words back at the tavern echoing in the back of my mind.

_'....I have heard you are no Fereldin either...'_

I swallowed hard, mouth suddenly going dry.

Maybe it was because Alexius knew where I was from?

"You can close the Rifts?" Dorian puzzled out loud interrupting my fearful imaginings. "Maybe there is a connection? Or they see you as a threat?"

"If the Venatori are behind those Rifts, or the Breach in the sky then they're even worse than I thought." Felix said grimly.

"If your father's one of them then why are you working against him?" Blackwall questioned.

"For the same reason Dorian works against him." He said firmly standing his ground. "I love my father and I love my country, but this! Cults? Time magic? What he's doing now is madness. For his own sake, you have to stop him."

"It would also be nice if he didn't rip a hole in time. There's already a hole in the sky." Dorian added hopefully.

I frowned down at my feet and worried my bottom lip, this was a lot to try and process with a tired mind. It was giving me a headache. I hated this. All this plotting and scheming. The lies, the Mages being forced into a corner and used to get to me of all people! And even with all this new information we still had no real idea as to why any of this was happening. We came here for help only to find more trouble to sink into, pulling us further away from our goal.

This sucked...

"All this effort just for you sunshine," Varric jeered. "And you didn't get Alexius anything. Shame on you!"

I choked out a small laugh and shook my head at the dwarf in amazement at his inability to remain serious.

"Send him a fruit basket," Dorian suggested. "Everyone loves those."

I snorted at that one.

Cassandra rolled her eyes.

"Can we be serious please? A threat towards the Herald is no joking matter." She chastised firmly.

"Sorry Cassandra," I mumbled still smiling.

"You know you're his target. Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage." Dorian preached sagely. "I can't stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I'm here and I want to keep it that way for now. But whenever you're ready to deal with him I want to be there. I'll be in touch."

He began to turn, heading towards a side door at the back of the hall.

"Wait!" I called out after him, relieved when he turned back with a perfectly trimmed eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Thank you for the warning Dorian. I appreciate your help."

He nodded, mouth twisting into a charming smile. "Of course you do, I am dreadfully useful after all."

He was also dreadfully smug.

Just as Dorian was about to disappear through the door he spun elegantly back to address his friend. "Oh and Felix, try not to get yourself killed."

"There are worse things than dying Dorian," The other Tevinter man said dully to the Mages retreating back before turning back to us. "I should be getting back before my father sends out a search for me. It's probably best if you get out of Redcliffe soon, if my father sees an opportunity he will take it."

I thanked Felix as well and the Magisters son left, giving us a parting nod before exiting through the main door and leaving us alone in the abandoned Chantry.

"Now what?" I asked the others feeling at an utter loss.

"We need a better understanding of what's going on here," Cassandra declared. "I suggest we search about the village and find out more then return to camp before dark. We do not want to be here over night."

The Seeker sent a sidelong glance of concern my way. Probably worried Alexius will have me abducted over night. I wasn't going to argue with her, Redcliffe obviously wasn't a safe place at the moment. And I wouldn't be able to do much helping if I was captured by a cult.

.....

Again.

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

We split us into two groups and spent an hour or so searching about Redcliffe and talking to its people. Not surprisingly many of the Mages I spoke with had nothing but wary suspicion of Magister Alexius's kind charity. It seemed fear of the Tevinter way of life was deeply ingrained in the circle Mages. After speaking at length to a young elven Mage named Lysas (The same nervous man who had led us to the Gull and Lantern) it became clear to me just how much trouble these Mages were in. It broke my heart to hear about his past, being taken away by the Templars at such a young age and working hard to pass his Harrowing only to spend the rest of his life being treated like a prisoner for being something he couldn't help. I couldn't blame the Mages for wanting their freedom, but suddenly because of their fear of the Templars wrath the cost of this freedom had turned into servitude to Tevinter. They were at the mercy of two impossible forces.

Fiona had made a mistake pledging her people to a Magister, but they shouldn't all have to suffer for her bad decision.

After meeting back up at the tavern it was evident that we had found out all we could and hastily departed the village. Talk quickly turned to what we had uncovered as we made the trek back to the upper lake camp.

"Does Tevinter really need cults, aren't they weird enough?" Varric grumbled.

"They believe rubbish anyway," Sera agreed scrunching her nose in distaste. "A cult in their cult just doubles it."

Bull was of course quick to jump in on the hate on Tevinter session.

"Vints are all crazy. If it's not cults it's demons or musical theatre or something."

"I like musicals," I pouted sending the Qunari a sad look. "And you're all being pretty judgemental towards someone who's trying to help us."

"He's a Vint," Bull growled.

"So is Krem," I pointed out. "And you trust him."

"No, Krem is just Krem," he argued. "Besides that guy Pavus is so damn Tevinter he practically secrets it. All high-and-mighty and egotistical. Mans an Altus no doubt about it and they are all assholes."

"Oh look a big fierce Qunari!" I cried dramatically pointing at his horns and pretending to cower. "Clearly this mindless beast intends to either destroy everything or enslave me to the Qun because that's what _all_ Qunari do. And over there is a dwarf! He must be lost, surely he should be underground digging for lyruim and growing a beard. Oh my there's a Nevarran lady too, I should go and find her a dead body so she can worship it or perhaps find a dragon for her to kill. Shouldn't those elves be frolicking butt naked in the forest? Quick let take their clothes!"

Sera laughed loudly, while Bull glared at me with his one good eye. Most people would have run away screaming from that look alone but Bull was being an ass and I was calling him out on it.

Probably I was still a little bitter about last night.

"Doesn't feel good to be judged by where you come from," I said a little more softly. "And it certainly doesn't dictate the kind of person you are. I would have thought you'd know that better than most Bull."

The big grey man seemed to struggle for a moment before letting out a sigh.

"Alright you made your point." He grumbled reluctantly. "I won't judge him for being a Vint."

"Thank you," I said smiling up at him. "If he turns out to be a pompous lying dick however feel free to hate and judge him all you like."

He seemed to brighten at that.

"Can we trust Dorian and Felix? I'm not sure what to believe here." Blackwall asked steering the conversation back on track.

"Since they have out manoeuvred us so far it might be wise to take the Venatori seriously," Vivienne suggested coolly.

"But can we trust them?" Blackwall pressed.

"If what they said is true can we afford not to?" I countered. "Besides, I kind of like Dorian."

"Just because the man's pretty doesn't mean he's a good guy Sunshine," Varric advised happily.

"I didn't say I trusted him just that I liked him," I defended. "He had character. I don't know, he just seemed so confident and charming. He was... interesting. I don't know if he's a good guy or not but I'll be disappointed if he turns out to be a baddie."

"Oh demons don't scare me, I'll fight ten at once!" Sera mimicked poorly. "Ease up big horse."

"Anyone can fight ten demons at once, not dying while you do is the tricky part," added Varric.

"It's not arrogance if it's earned Sera dear, we'll see if he deserves it." Vivienne purred.

"He did seem... competent." Cassandra agreed grudgingly.

"He seemed flashy," Bull grumbled.

Couldn't argue with him there, Dorian was certainly flashy. And arrogant. So why did I like the guy so much? I wasn't normally so swayed by someone's outward appearance.

"It's the moustache," I concluded. "Anyone who can not only pull of a moustache like that without looking like a creeper or an evil villain, but can manage to look suave while doing it can't be that bad."

"Either way their willingness to betray raises the question of whether they will betray us." Cassandra said darkly, obviously not convinced by my reasoning. "This whole business is distasteful. Perhaps we are better off pursuing the Templars instead."

I hadn't thought of that. I liked Dorian, but what did we really know of him and Felix, this could all be one very elaborate scheme. Getting involved in this mess could bring more trouble down on the Inquisition than we could handle. Approaching the Templars again was starting to appear the smarter option.

"Are there going to be fewer demons that way, because I'd be up for that." Bull agreed hopefully.

"I'd be careful with that Cassandra," Vivienne cautioned. "You don't want the Inquisition getting a reputation for abandoning causes half way."

"I bet you ten royals whatever the Templar's are doing is just as weird." Varric muttered.

"Urgh! Just pick one!" Sera growled in annoyance. "Because both sides need a boot up the jack side."

It frustrated me to no end that we had to choose a side at all. I understood that Mages and Templars pretty much hated each other but this war wasn't helping anyone. If only the two fractions could put aside their differences for a brief moment and work together for a good cause, like oh I don't know... Fixing the fucking hole in the sky! Then again either one of these groups could have been behind the explosion that started this whole thing to begin with. No matter which side we picked there was a risk we allied with the enemy.

The Inquisition was going to have to make a decision. I just hoped we would make the right one.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh... the good ones are always gay. But that's all part of Dorians charm I suppose.  
> So Mages or Templars? Which would you choose?


	30. Standstill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How do I relax when those people could be in trouble!"
> 
> The gang get back to Haven just in time for a bit of holiday cheer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peoples  
> Thank you to all the people who commented and gave their opinions :) It's so great to be able to interact with you guys like that.  
> Bit of a short fluffy chapter to tide you over til the next chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy

## Standstill ##

 

It was a long trip back to Haven, made even more so because I couldn't keep my mind from wondering back to the Mages we had left behind. It wasn't like my staying there was going to help matters; in fact it was more likely to cause more problems. But I couldn't shake the awful feeling I was abandoning them.

We kept to ourselves as we travelled and I took comfort in the presence of my ever nearby companions. With everything going on I had so many questions and doubts running around my head like hyperactive children on a sugar high. I would have driven myself mad with anxiety and fear if not for their help, my friends doing their best to distract and keep me grounded. Even our newest addition played his part. Blackwall while gruff and grizzled turned out to be kind of a softy. He and Sera seemed to grow particularly close over the short trip, Blackwall taking on an almost favourite uncle like persona with the little rogue... only with more talk about boobs and tavern wenches. It was amusing to watch their interactions and easy banter. Seeing the two of them so relaxed and at ease even when the world was falling apart was both bewildering and oddly calming.

With spring only a few days away the weather had warmed slightly but never the less the lands around Haven remained buried in snow. But then what else could be expected when it was situated at the foot of the aptly named _Frost_ back Mountains. I doubted Haven was ever free of snow for long even in the middle of summer. We were on the last stretch of road with Haven visible in the distance when the storm clouds that had been looming overhead all morning broke and rained down wave after wave of sleet and hail on us and our horses. We were close enough to our destination that stopping to take shelter would be pointless. Instead we picked up the pace urging our mounts into a trot with Blackwall and Bull jogging along beside us as the Warden didn't yet have a horse and Bull preferred not to ride if he could avoid it. While the Qunari usually revelled in his massive size he was a sensible man and conscious of his weight, even his massive burly beast of a horse could only carry him for so long without injury.

By the time we reached the stables we were all soaked through and shivering. Havens stables were a relatively new addition to the small town having only been made in the last few years to house the odd travellers mount as they made the journey to the Temple of Sacred Ashes... before it was blown up that is. It was situated outside the high pointed log fence that surrounded the majority of the town and just past the Blacksmiths. While in the past it had only had space to keep half a dozen horses, since the Inquisition had occupied the village it had been expanded on in order to keep up with demand from visiting dignitaries and our own men and women. While it was in no way close to rivalling Dennets farm in the Hinterland in size and quality we made it work, housing most the horses in fenced off paddocks nearby with basic shelters for the creatures comfort instead of inside the actual stables.

As we rode in runners were sent to announce our return and we quickly set about helping the stable hands unpack and dry down our mounts. Soon the relatively small stable was a flurry of people running about with towels, blankets, soggy saddles and packs.

"How is it still so bloody wet and icy at this time of the year," Varric grouched as he wrung rain water from the ends of his travelling cloak and onto the stone floor. The pointless action was purely for dramatic effect seeing as we were only going to get wet again shortly when we left the stable and made a mad dash for the village.

"Have you forgotten where we are?" Vivienne sniffed. "This is Ferelden darling, what did you expect?"

I watched as the Enchanter glided across the drab stable like it was a runway and ordered a young women to have her things delivered to her lodgings and make sure there was a hot bath ready for her within the hour. I shook my head in disbelief; even half drowned by rain and ice she looked glamorous.

As soon as I dismounted from my saddle I took up a towel of my own and set to work patting down Falcons neck, murmuring words of praise for the poor beast as the stable hands removed the saddle and packs from his back.

"Such a good boy," I cooed. "Carrying me through all that nasty rain, I believe I owe you an apple or two after that."

He nickered softly and forcefully began nudging at my neck causing me to stumble and giggle.

"Ease up Fal, I need to get you dry first. You can have your apples after I promise."

"You'll spoil him if you keep that up." Blackwall chided while walking past with Seras saddle in his arms, his shaggy hair plastered into a tangled wet mess over his head and chest.

"Well after carrying me all around Thedas I think he deserves the occasional treat," I replied defiantly. Falcon whinnied in agreement.

"Like the two apples you already gave him this morning plus and the carrot at lunch?" he accused depositing the saddle on the rack and folding his arms across his chest in disapproval.

"He seemed hungry." I mumbled sheepishly. "Plus he does this look! His eyes go all big and gooey and I can't say no to him when he does that, it's impossible. Look he's doing it again! It's like he knows there's goodies around for him to eat."

Blackwall shook his head in exasperation but when the Warden looked back up his eyes were full of laughter. Walking forward he gave Falcon a scratch behind one ear like one would a dog before holding out an open palm with three small sugar cubes offered out to my horse. Falcon of coarse snuffled them up without pause.

I smirked at the grizzly dark haired man."Oh, you are such a closet softy."

He chuckled gruffly, "It is a hard face to say no to."

A sudden noise from the road outside had me turning to look through the open stable doors. Two over packed wagons being pulled by large shaggy druffalo were trundling lazily down the path to Havens gate, brightly coloured fabrics and flags adorning its canvas cover and the sounds of laughter and the strum of a lute could faintly by heard coming from the procession. Curious I stuck my head out the doors and watched as they passed by, noticing as I did that there were several other wagons parked near the gates entrance as well as a handful of new brightly coloured tents dotting the snowy little town.

"Performers," Cassandra said as she and the others came to join me in my snooping. "It seems Haven is going to be very crowded for the next week. I doubt the village has ever had so many people in residence here at one time before."

"Those are an Orlessian troupe," Vivienne added sounding pleased. "Josephine, it seems has gone all out to make Wintersend in Haven a proper event this year. I'm sure these poor souls have never had much more than a simple farmers market to celebrate. A bright side to having the Inquisition here I suppose. For them at least."

"Wintersend?" I said in confusion.

"I know, I can't believe it's come by so quickly either." Varric said cheerfully while looking at me meaningfully. "It's hard to keep track of the days when you're always on the move hey Sunshine?"

"R-right," I said quickly catching on. "The date has just slipped my mind with everything that's happened."

_Damn it, that was too close_. I almost gave myself away. Nice save by the dwarf though, I was going to owe Varric a pint.

"Yes! I love Wintersend festivals," Sera said dancing restlessly where she stood. "I'm gonna eat so many tarts!"

I smiled at the elf but was unable to share her enthusiasm. Normally events like these would have me bubbling over with curious excitement but it was hard to look forward to a day of celebration when there were Mages basically being enslaved back at Redcliffe.

Trying to force my mind away from such dreary thoughts I went back to settling Falcon in his appointed stall for the night and organising my things. Intent on getting a bath of my own before I would inevitably be summoned to discuss the latest developments with the heads of the Inquisition.

Why my presence was necessary at these meetings was beyond me, it wasn't like I had much to contribute. All I did was close Rifts. I wasn't even from this world, why should I have a say in what happened to it?

By the time I'd gathered my things and swung my pack over one shoulder a familiar face had come into the stables and was talking with Cassandra. Cullens normally tamed golden hair was falling about his forehead in curly wet ringlets and his fluffy pauldron sat in a damp heap across his shoulders like a drowned animal. The Commander was frowning as he spoke lowly to the Seeker who looked just as grim. Even so I couldn't help the amused giggle that escaped my lips at the sight.

Soggy Cullen looked like a grumpy cat meme with curls.

At the sound the Commander looked up to see me looking their way, he smiled thinly. I waved in greeting and made my way over.

"Hello Cullen," I said smiling sweetly. "I like your hair. I always wondered why Varric calls you Curly."

"Welcome back Herald," he said stoically without a hint of embarrassment. "It's nice to see you made it back without incident."

I pouted unconsciously in disappointment. Whatever they were discussing must be serious if a complement couldn't get Cullen all flustered. And he was being so formal. Something was up.

"Everything ok?" I asked in concern, worried about what further bad news may be awaiting us.

Cullen's honeyed eyes soften as he looked down at me.

"Nothing to concern yourself over Evie," He said kindly. "We've received preliminary reports on what happened in Redcliffe but Leliana and Josephine would like to discuss things in person as soon as possible. Though I'm sure it can wait until you've changed into something dry. It must have been a long trip, you look ...uh, tired."

I smiled crookedly. The prince charming was being polite, I knew I looked an absolute mess. I hadn't had a proper sleep since before Redcliffe and had just been riding in a freezing downpour. While some people like Vivienne and Cassandra could walk out of bad weather still look as stunning as ever I sadly was not one of them. Being cold bought out the paleness of my skin giving me a washed out and tired appearance and the ends of my nose and ears would turn pink from the chill making me look like a five year old with a head cold. I knew my travelling cloak was soaked through and stained with mud kicked up from the horses and my hair had long since escaped its pins causing it to continually fall across my face in messy damp tendrils like a shaggy blonde sheep dog.

"I could use a clean set of clothes, a bath and a nap." I admitted pushing my wet fringe back as it yet again tried to blind me. I sighed in defeat when it just fell back down. "And a haircut, probably."

"I could cut your hair?" Sera offered happily coming up to my side with her travel pack dragging along the floor besides her.

I stiffened and tried to hide my horror at the very notion, imagining myself with a Sera style pixie cut. Sera was cute in her own kooky way, her choppy mop worked for her. But I doubt I had her confidence and general.... well... don't give a shit attitude to pull it off myself. Plus I'd let friends try and cut my hair in the past, it had never ended well.

"I don't know if that's a good idea..." I said cautiously.

"Course it is. It's easy just snip snip and no more blind Herald." Sera said easily, completely oblivious to my concern.

"Absolutely not," Vivienne growled firmly, eyes hard. "If you touch a single hair and the Heralds head I will turn you into a toad."

My eyes widened and flew between the two women as they stared each other down.

_Oh no, not again._

"Come now ladies..." I started nervously, hands raised in a placating gesture. "There's no need to-"

"What? You think you could do better?" Sera said loudly speaking over me.

"Oh Sera dear, I know I could."

"You don't even have hair!" the elf accused, dropping her pack so some of her belongings spilled out onto the floor and completely ignored them. "You probably went bald like his elfyness and had to shave it off because of some stupid nobby fashion or whatever."

I cut my eyes over to where Solas stood casually leaning against the wall one eyebrow raised dully, clearly not amused.

I wondered briefly; _Why does the older elf kept his head shaved? And what colour is it?_

"Your lack of refinement, while not unexpected, saddens me darling," Vivienne sighed.

"Yeah well your lack of not-being-a-bitch pisses me off," Sera retorted.

"Of course it does darling," the Enchanter simpered. "Now run alone and yap at someone else's heels. I wouldn't want to tread on you by accident."

"Maker, are they always like this?" Cullen muttered in disbelief while Cassandra shook her head in disgust.

"No, this is rather tame actually. Buttercups hasn't yet made any threats regarding arrows and uh... places." Varric said happily, sliding past us and heading out towards the village. "Come on Hero, let me show you where we're bunking. Dinner and drinks tonight at the tavern Sunshine, if you're up for it."

"I'll see you there." I called out at the retreating dwarf as he led Blackwall out into the rain. I had a feeling I would be needing a few drinks this evening.

"I need to have a quick word with Iron Bull," Cullen said to Cassandra and I. "I'll see you both later."

I watched as the blonde man made his way over to the other side of the stable where the Qunari was talking with the stable master and frowned suspiciously. Making a quick decision I turned back to Sera who was viciously repacking her gear while glaring in Vivienne's direction.

Crouching down to give the archer a hand I spoke lowly.

"Hey Sera, I wonder if I could get some help with something...."

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

Later that evening I collapsed into a chair across from Varric and Blackwall in the Singing Maiden and promptly buried my head in my folded arms with a weary groan.

"I take it your meeting went well," Varric said cheerily.

I groaned incoherently into the ale soaked table top.

I'd been stuck in the war room for the past three hours talking about what had happened in Redcliffe and our options with both the Mages and Templars. There had been a lot of talking, a lot of arguing and debating, a lot of potential planning and a small amount of yelling evolved in the lengthy discussion in the windowless room. And we still had yet to make any headway or decide on our next move, we had gotten nowhere.

_Nowhere!_

There was so much to consider and take into account and each person in the room had their own opinion or way to address the issue. Nobody could come to a proper decision. Eventually we'd just had to give in for the evening before things descended into angry words.

There was no denying that we desperately needed to make some hard choices but with the Wintersend festival the day after tomorrow all of this couldn't have come to a head at a worse time.

In a bid to gain more support from both local and foreign dignitaries Josephine and Leliana had been busy around the clock to make the holiday into a big event in Haven. The two had been working tirelessly to make the town presentable and more appealing to any visiting party. They'd made arrangements for several different performing troupes to be in attendance and had offered the Inquisitions hospitality to any travelling merchant who would like to temporarily set up a stall. This of course led to a need to ramp up security measures due to the major flood of people suddenly visiting the small town. Haven had never been so well populated in all its history. Cullen was at his whits end with the amount of extra work this caused for him and his troops. Leliana told him to see it as a training exercise. Cullen looked ready to Hulk smash the war table after that.

All in all everybody was currently exceedingly under demand.

At least the villagers seemed to be excited. I'd had to squeeze through the packed crowed of the normally dull little tavern as both locals and travellers gathered to talk eagerly about the upcoming event. It was a chance for the people of Haven to meet new faces, and in such a small town meeting so many new people was a big deal. Already I could see local men and women flirting shamelessly with visiting merchants or performers in secluded alcoves and dark corners.

It was nice to see the town that had given the Inquisition so much get a little something back in return and I couldn't deny this would be excellent for morale. But even so it felt so wrong to be celebrating and enjoying frivolous things when trouble was so evidently brewing.

"Here, we ordered you something to eat." Blackwall said pushing a dish my way.

I looked up at the smell of a hot meal to find a plate piled high with seasoned roast potatoes, carrots and my usual chicken parmigiana. My stomach gurgled eagerly at the sight.

Chicken parmi wasn't exactly something that was originally on the menu at The Singing Maiden. I had to actually convinced the taverns owner Flissa to try out the dish at first and taught her how to make it myself. A tavern was pretty much a pub right? And the chicken parmi was basically the most famous pub meal of all back home. It was a staple. Flissa certainly appreciated the idea seeing as it was currently the favourite meal of most her patrons.

_Thedas you are welcome!_

"Thank you! You guys are amazing." I gushed reaching for the cutlery and helping myself to my dinner. It wasn't quite like they made it at home but it wasn't bad.

"So what happened?" Varric asked taking a long pull of ale.

I shook my head despondently.

"Nothing, which is exactly the problem. We've come to a standstill. Josephine and Leliana are going to try and get some more information through their contacts on both sides, again. And Cullen's making another attempt to contact some old Templar buddies to gain some support. But we're getting nowhere. It doesn't look like we're going to be able to make any proper decisions until after the festival."

"So? That's not so bad!" Varric said. "Think of it like a short break Sunshine, you have two days to relax before shit gets busy again."

I frowned at him.

"That's two days in which the Mages could be being shipped off to Tevinter and this Venitori group could be getting away with Go - er -Maker knows what." I quickly corrected my slip up with a nervous glance at Blackwall, thankfully the Warden looked too occupied by trying to cut through his stake to have noticed my error.

That was the second time today I almost said something that could land me in hot water. I needed to lift my game.

"If the Venitori are after you they aren't going to be going back to the Imperium without you, nor will they do anything big to draw attention to themselves. They still don't know that we know about them. We have the advantage." The dwarf reasoned calmly, voice low so as not to be over heard in the loud din of the tavern. "You can afford to relax a little."

"How do I relax when those people could be in trouble!" I ran a frustrated hand back through my hair. "Surely there is something we could be doing to help them."

Blackwall spoke up, eyes serious and firm. "I know waiting is hard but this is a delicate situation. You can't just rush into it unprepared. That's when thing go real bad, real quick. You trust the people in charge here right?"

I didn't even hesitate when I answered, nodding my head fiercely.

"Then give them time to figure this out. In the meantime no one could blame you for taking a day or two to unwind and enjoy the holiday."

I sighed in defeat and let my shoulders slump. I hated it when other people had a valid point.

At that moment the door to the tavern flew open and a scrawny red clad figure dashed inside, skidding around other patrons and into tables. For a moment she stood and looked about until wide elven eyes fell to our table and she continued her mad dart, throwing herself heavily into the seat besides mine and ducking low.

"He's coming!" Sera hiss excitedly. "Got it all planned and ready to go."

I looked at her in surprise and a small amount of disbelieving anticipation.

"Already?"

"Shhhh! Everyone, look like you've been here for awhile." She said pulling the remains of Blackwall drink towards her in order to blend in.

"We _have_ been here," he said eyeing his stolen drink with disappointment.

"Shhhh! He's here."

I looked up curiously as both Varric and Blackwall craned their heads to look directly towards the taverns bar.

The Commander had indeed entered the building.

"Don't make it obvious ya twits!" Sera snapped.

Varric and Blackwall quickly turned back to snoop a bit more discretely. Blackwall scooted his chair onto an angle so he could watch out of the corner of his eye while Varric bought out a dagger from his belt and propped it up against his drink, looking intently into the shinny reflection of his blade. I looked at the dwarf questioningly.

He shrugged his heavy shoulders.

"This isn't the first time I've done this."

"No kidding," I replied amused by the clever trick.

We watched in covertly from our table. Cullen made an imposing figure as he cut his way into the crowded tavern and quickly made his way towards the bar, ignoring most others in the room. As usual the Ex Templar was focussed on the task at hand.

"The Commander?" Varric puzzled looking to where Sera and I sat and watched in suspense. "What are you two up to?"

"War." We answered in unison.

As Cullen approached the bar and waited, Flissa stood at the other end finishing up with someone else's order. On spotting the Commander she smiled and held up her hand and indicating she'd be with him in a moment. Cullen nodded and began looking lazily about the villages and leaning against the bar. We tried to look normal so not to gain the man's attention, pretending to be enjoying our meals instead of spying on him.

"Here it comes," Sear said gripping my arm and almost vibrating in excitement.

As his attention was elsewhere Flissa took a moment to adjust her appearance. The tavern owner was an old accomplice of Lelianas, used to listening in and passing on information discretely and had not been above using her good looks to loosen more tongues. And she was admittedly very good looking, porcelain pale skin, bright green eyes and shoulder length dark red hair with a classically pretty face and wide mouth. And the women knew how to highlight her assets. Which was why she took a moment to fluff up her hair, pinch her cheeks for colour and undo the top two laces on her already low cut blouse, shrugging it down another inch or two. Them with an almost predatory slink she made her way over to Cullen, leaning provocatively over the counter as she addressed him.

"Makers... tits!" Blackwall sputtered, almost choking on his mouthful of mash potato.

"Hahaha! Nice!" Sera giggled lowly. "This'll get em' blushing for sure!"

Varric gave up looking at the unfolding scene via reflection to turn about and openly leer at the tavern owner with a big smile and entertained chuckle. In the dwarfs defence he wasn't the only one, half the men in the tavern and a few of the women were openly staring at the sight.

Even I couldn't tear my eyes aware, heat flooding to my face as I stared mesmerised. Fearing the only thing preventing Flissa's ample bosom from spilling out onto the bar top was the fact her nipples may be snagged on the material of her top.

I suddenly felt very inadequate, crossing my arms defensively across my own measly chest.

_Stupid barely B cups....._

Unfortunately the only one not noticing the open display of boobage was Cullen who, despite the obvious hints and suggestive moves by Flissa trying to divert his attention downwards, continued to be a complete gentleman and spoke directly to Flissas face. Even when she tried trailing her hand up his sleeve he politely brushed off the advance and continued to talk to her obliviously.

_What the heck! Even I noticed her and I'm completely straight._

Within a few minutes Cullen concluded whatever business he was attending and with polite nod of farewell left the tavern without a backwards glance. Sera and I watching him depart with open disappointment.

Flissa straightened herself up with a confused but not overly upset pout and calmly retied her blouse. She looked over to our table offering an apologetic shrug before getting back to work.

"Well piss," Sera said slumping back in the chair. "That didn't work, now I have to pay back my tab in payment."

"And what exactly was supposed to happen?" Varric asked curiously.

"We were trying to get Cullen to blush," I admitted sullenly. "I was sure having someone flirt with him would get him all flustered."

"Do I want to know why you are doing this?" Blackwall said frowning.

"Because he started it," I grumbled darkly.

_That may not technically be true, but he did escalate it!_

Both men stared blankly at me.

"Right..." The Warden said slowly. "Want to explain that to us?"

"Lady Herald and Commander Stick-Up-His-Butt are trying to make each other embarrassed coz they both go red all easy like," Sera explained vaguely. "It's a war!"

"Let me get this straight," Varric said looking at me thoughtfully. "You and Curly are in some kind of competition with each other to make the other person embarrassed enough that they blush."

"Pretty much," I said simply.

The dwarf barked out a loud laugh and tried to cover it by snorting into his hand.

"Oh Sunshine you have no chance."

I bristled. "Hey, Cullen gets flustered just as easily as I do? He goes red at the smallest complement."

"Yeah, but you go red at just a look," Varric chortled.

"I do not," I huffed indignantly.

"You're doing it now," Sera added unhelpfully, poking my cheeks.

"Whose side are you on?" I squawked slapping away at her hand.

"You know I'm just in this for the pranks," she chortled.

"Why go to the trouble of getting someone else to flirt with him?" Blackwall asked in confusion. "You could have done it yourself."

"Me? Flirt with Cullen?" I spluttered. "No way buddy I can't flirt."

"That's two," Varric drawled having bought out a roll of parchment and marking a line under my name before proceeding to write Cullens name on the other side of the page and divide it with a thick black line.

"What are you doing?" I stared suspiciously at the dwarf.

"Keeping score," he answered innocently. "That's the second time you've blushed so far. I'm thinking of taking bets on this."

"Varric!"

"You can't be serious?" Blackwall exclaimed.

"What? I'll make sure the odds are good."

I glared across at the dwarf.

"You know, I still don't see why you won't just run up and pants him," Sera said leaning precariously back on her chair. "You're good at that right?"

"That was an Accident!!! And it happened one time. One time!" I raged loud enough for several people nearby to turn and stare in our direction in worry.

I flushed at the unwanted attention.

"Three!" Varric declared scrawling down another line. "You're not off to a good start are you?"

"GIVE ME THAT PIECE OF PAPPER YOU.... You ASS!"

We scuffled, playfully of course. Varric was surprisingly quick and nimble for someone with such short legs. By the end of the evening I still hadn't gotten the tally sheet off of him. But now I had I bit more incentive to win this little war of mine. Knowing Varric half the Inquisition would be putting money on who was the most awkward and easily flustered by morning.

This was one competition I didn't want to lose.

Cullen was going down!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Cullen, probably doesn't even realise what's going on.  
> Does anybody actually know what colour Solas's hair actually is... or possibly was?


	31. The Novelties Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You've seen how clumsy I am Josie. I make no promises."
> 
> As the Wintersend Festival begins Evie has to postpone her own plans in favour of winning over a few nobles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so sorry about the late update.   
> This chapter was so hard to write because my mind was too caught up in the events happening in up coming chapters which were a lot of fun to write. I really had to force myself to get back to this one and hit a big case of writers block with it.  
> In any case I hope you enjoy it.

 

## The Novelties Part ##

 

 

 

The day of the Wintersend festival I was awoken early by Josephine bursting through my cabin door like a storm of silk and colour, a flustered looking assistant trailing in her wake. At the sudden intrusion I sat up in bed startled and bleary. When I saw who it was I groaned and tried to bury myself back under the covers. Both women carried various items of clothing draped carefully in their arms which could only mean trouble.

_Too bloody early for this rubbish._

"Oh no you don't." The ambassador clucked, getting hold of my blankets and sharply pulling them back, leaving me curled up on the middle of my now barren bed and glaring at the pretty women angrily.

"It's too early Josie. Why are you being so evil?" I mumbled trying to melt into the bed in the hopes I be left alone to sleep.

She ignored my look and went about setting out several different items of clothing about my small cabin and instructing her assistant to do the same.

"You agreed to this Evie," She said cheerily humming to herself as she smoothed out the material of a long red skirt.

_Urgh_ , she was a morning person. Figures.

"I agreed to the meet and greet with the nobles, I didn't agree to the early start." I argued glancing out the window. Judging by the suns position it would have only risen about an hour ago.

While helping to set up for today's event I had very reluctantly agreed to spend some time in the morning mingling with the few important visitors. The Inquisition wanted to get these peoples support and backing, apparently we weren't above parading about the fabled Herald of Andraste to get it. While I didn't really approve or believe in my own stupid title, if walking about and playing nice with a bunch of aristocrats would help our cause then I would just grin and bear it.

I just hadn't realised how early I would have to get up.

"Yes, but we need to make you respectable before you meet them." She said as I reluctantly sat up and shimmied to the side of the bed. Josephine looked me over, taking in my bedraggled appearance, rumpled night shirt, tired eyes and messy tangle of bed hair. "And that could take awhile."

"Haha. Very funny." I grumbled. It was too early to be insulted.

She blinked at me, "That wasn't a joke."

"Oh... ouch."

Admittedly I probably wasn't a pretty sight first thing in the morning and I may have been up late trying and failing to memorise the history and practises of Wintersend and the names and background of the visiting dignitaries. I'd had too many close calls of late and didn't want to risk my secret getting out to world.

Without further delay I forced myself to get moving, knowing it was useless to oppose Josephine when she had her mind set on something. I went through the now regular routine of boiling hot water over the fireplace and pouring it into my wash basin with some delicious scented soup mix (a gift from Lady Montilyet herself) that almost smelled like cherry blossoms. Ignoring my unwanted guests while they set themselves up I ducked behind a small privacy screen and quickly washed and changed into a clean set of loose clothes, knowing I'd soon be ordered into a different outfit soon enough. I reappeared yawning and running a brush through my hair.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much," Josephine replied on a relieved sigh. She held up three full length skirts for comparison. One a dark forest green that had a long split up one side with bronze embroidery along its edges, one a deep blue made of shimmering material and covered in layer of lace, the other a deep blood red that look rather more slinky than the others. "Which do you think?"

"Uh the green?" I offered unsure.

She nodded thoughtfully.

"Quaint, but appropriate for a small town festival. And it will go well with the beige tunic the Duke of Salmont sent."

"They're sending us clothes?" I asked bemused. "Shouldn't they be sending aid that we can use against the Breach."

"Some are, but they have also been sending _you_ clothes or other favours of late." She explained mildly. "To try and gain the favour of Andrastes chosen or to thank you for all you've done."

That was a surprise.

"I thought most of the nobility had sided with the Chantrys views and believe I'm a murderous fraud."

"Most still do, but this is politics." She said nonchalantly sorting through other items of clothing trying to pick out colours that matched. "And being a murderous fraud can be seen as an advantage as long as you have the power and influence to back it up. You are quite the novelty to many in Thedas Herald. The young, mysterious woman who has came from such humble beginnings to save us as all, wielding Andrastes blessing in her very hands. Many are fascinated by you and rightly so. Given your accomplishments in the Hinterlands and Storm Coast you are slowly proving to the world that you are an ally worth having. Despite your alignment with the Inquisition there are some who would try to win you over and use your infamy to their own gain.''

This talk was uncomfortably reminding me of Vivienne's unnerving advice back in Val Royeaux.

"So they send me clothes to what? Buy my friendship?" I said slowly trying to make sense of the reasoning behind such pointless actions.

The Ambassador shrugged her puffy shoulders. "They are small tokens, nobody is willing to openly support you just yet. You're too much of an unknown to risk social suicide. But they have played the grand game for a long time and can appreciate potential future allies and pawns when they see them."

I didn't know whether to feel flattered or insulted about that. The sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach told me it was probably the latter. I didn't want to be any ones pawn and knowing that could be the motivation behind some of these nobles presence here today did nothing to quell my worries.

_I hated politics._

Josephine finally seemed content with her clothes selection and began ordering me into layers of fabric. She stuck with earthy tones, the long green skirt being matched with a set of warm brown leggings underneath, the beige tunic from the Duke with billowing princess sleaves that fell to mid forearm, a caramel coloured surcoat and a mossy green woollen half cloak to finish of the ensemble. It was actually a pretty nice outfit. I didn't feel overdressed for the small village event yet my clothes were new and of enough high quality that the nobles wouldn't mistake me for a regular villager either. Josephine had picked out things that would make me look as demure as possible, probably trying to give me a sweet approachable appearance to go with the whole 'Andrastes chosen' charade we had going.

"Now," she said with a happy clap. "I've heard you're in need of a haircut. I'd like to offer my assistance if you would let me."

"Um, sure. I didn't know you knew how to hair dress." I replied curiously, taking a seat on one of my few chairs as the Ambassador bought out set of silver scissors and a few combs.

"My sisters and I used to do each other's hair all the time when we we're younger, it was one of the few things we could do together without bickering." She replied with a found smile as she set about throwing a cloth around my shoulders and measuring up my hair, calculating where to snip.

I realised suddenly how little of Josephines background I really knew. Professionally she'd gladly spoken about all her accomplishments and her work but about her personally we'd never really had the time to talk.

"That sound like fun," I said wistfully. "How many sisters do you have?"

"Three and one brother," She answered. "They caused me no end of torment when we were younger, still do occasionally. 'Sisters are both your best friends and your worst enemy' as my Grandmother used to say."

"I always wanted a sister," I said thoughtfully as Josephine carefully began to trim my hair with confident snips of her tiny scissors causing strands of hair to pool on the stone floor . "I have a cousin Angela who I was always close with growing up but I don't think it's quite the same thing. Sadly I was stuck with just brothers. I think if either of them came at me with a pair of scissors I'd lock myself in my room."

She giggled, "Surely they weren't that bad."

"Worse at times. Once, when I was about five, Luke locked me in the outside cubby house for an over an hour because he didn't want me tagging along when he and his friend went to buy sweets. It was infested with spiders too, big black ones." I shuddered at the memory. "When mum finally realised where I was and got me out I was in hysterics, didn't speak to him for a week after that. He was such a jerk sometimes. Even so he had his good moments too, like when he heard that I was being bullied by this one girl. He was the first person to stand up for me. Poured glue on her head then dumped a jar of glitter on top, she ended up having to shave her head the damage was so bad and he got grounded for a month. I snuck him desert every night of his punishment, wasn't until much later on that I realised my parents knew exactly what I was doing, I should have known seeing as they always made three bowls of ice cream instead of two."

Josephine laughed. "They sound like good people."

"Yeah they are...." I suddenly felt like I'd swallowed a rock, my throat was so tight. My family were good people and they weren't here, they had never even existed here. As far as Thedas knew my family was dead and gone. We were literally worlds apart; so impossibly far away that they may as well be dead.

"... Were," I corrected myself hoarsely, recalling the presence of Josephine's assistant and hating myself for going along with my fabricated past. Feeling guilty for pretending something so horrible was truth and bringing back into focus the horrifying idea that I could very well lose my family for good if I never found my way back. "They were the best people I knew."

Wordlessly the Ambassador reached down and gave my shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. I sent a small watery smile of appreciation over my shoulder and forced my mind away from that particular line of thought. It would be hard to charm our visitors if I was being morose and weepy.

_They aren't really dead_ , I reminded myself firmly. _Just_ _temporarily beyond my reach._

The quicker we closed the Breach the closer I got to figuring out my way back. And that would require the support of our esteemed visitors.

"Don't mind me. Just a little emotional, I'm ok" I reassured, coughing to clear my throat of the constricting tightness before finding my resolve and squaring my shoulders. "Remind me again which of our guests has the most influence, I need to know who to avoid embarrassing myself in front of."

"All of them if possible Lady Herald," Josephine said tersely.

"You've seen how clumsy I am Josie," I said seriously. "I make no promises."

"Andrastes protect us...." she muttered under her breath and continued to trim my hair.

Given my track record of awkward, embarrassing or inappropriate episodes of late we were going to need more than Andrastes divine guidance to get us through this without a slip up.

_Well, at least I'd look nice while I made an idiot of myself. That's a bonus._

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

The only building in Haven that had been deemed big enough to hold even the smallest of affairs was of course the Chantry. In preparation for our important guests the dusty and dull hall had been cleaned and polished to the extent that even the mortar between the stones seemed to shine. The warn tapestries and banners had all been cleaned and aired while every candle in the building had been replaced with fresh new ones, the old wax scaped of the surfaces of every candle holder and alter. Small rows of tables weighed down with food and drink lined the sides of the walls and soft notes of harp and flute music were floating about the Chantry courtesy of a pair of travelling Antivan musicians sitting in the back corner. While it was by no means on par with the Madame du Fers event I'd attended in Val Royeaux for such a small and isolated town it was quite the luxurious set up. Evidently Josephine and Vivienne had really out done themselves in preparation for today's festivities. So much so that the flashy Orlessian and Ferelden dignitaries didn't quite look so out of place with their impeccable coats, massive skirts and freaky emotionless masks.

.....Well, almost. It was still Haven after all and most of our visitors had personality and ego too big for the tiny village.

With Josephine, Leliana and Vivienne all taking turns acting as my chaperone/ babysitter I was whisked about the hall and introduced to more faces and social statuses than I could keep track of, which was rather sad seeing as we only had just over a dozen for me to remember. Clearly I did not have the mind for this kind of thing. Dukes, Dutchess, Banns, Lords, cousins or distant relations of people with power fame and influence made my acquaintance with mixed reception. I was treated as an item of curiosity by most just as Josephine had said I would be and I ended up spending most of the morning answering the same questions over and over.

"Yes, Ferelden is different from The Free Marches but I am almost used to the cold."

"Yes, my family and I were just regular people from a small town. We never held any tittles."

"No, I never thought I'd find myself in a position like this."

"I can't say, but if this is truly Andrastes will who am I to deny it? Helping the Inquisition is the right thing to do."

"I am well aware of what the Chantry have said of me."

"It's true, the Mark does actually close Rifts."

"I've seen many demons actually."

"Honestly it is terrifying, but my companions do an excellent job of keeping me safe. They are very brave and skilled people."

"I think the Inquisition is making good progress given the resources we have available to us...."

"Yes sometimes the Mark does cause me pain, but it's a small price to pay it if we can use it to close the Breach."

"No, unfortunately I can't change its colour to match my outfits."

Throughout the repetitive discussions I spoke politely and tried to appear friendly and warm. Josephine had encouraged me to down play my involvement in the fighting and to present myself as charming but unassuming. The less of a threat I seemed the more likely the nobles would be inclined to leave me be and not delve into fabricated past. At the same time however I still needed to try and win over their approval. It was a very fine line to tread but thankfully I was never left alone, if talk turned to a dangerous topic my appointed chaperone at the time would easily intervene and steer the exchange to a different subject.

"Let them think they could control you," Leliena had had whispered in my ear. "At this stage you do not want them to know that you are aware of their intentions. It ruins the fun."

Surprisingly I found some of the nobles weren't as bad as I'd feared, at least on the surface. A few of the Ferelden lords and ladies actually seemed very approachable and level headed. I had a rather nice conversation with an old Bann named Edric Turney whose kind wrinkled face and mischievous grey eyes reminded me of my Granddad. Particularly when he pulled out a handful of boiled sweets from his coat pocket when his wife wasn't looking and offered me one. Even some of the pompous, socialite Orlessians, with their impassive masks and fluttering fans (yes fans, even in such cold weather) were interesting to talk to for a while, sharing scandalising gossip I couldn't help but find intriguing.

While most of the dignitaries were pleasant others spoke to me with thinly veiled indifference or distrust. I let Vivienne do most of the talking with those guests; the Enchanter could rip a man's confidence to shreds with one word if they dared to even hint at something less than polite.

The sad thing was however, that even though I disliked the way those visitors treated me at least I knew where I stood with them. They were open with their disapproval of me and if they decided to support us they would be doing so for practical and legitimate reasons. Not because of some fanciful story of Andrastes Herald. I couldn't bring myself to trust the easy smiles and overly happy laughter of the more pleasant guests, always conscious that it could be a well perfected act. I was constantly reminding myself that all of them were here today taking the opportunity to scope out our budding organization. Judging us and our worth and figuring out how to best use us to their advantage.

Just as we were doing to them.

It was a horrible mindset to be in, always suspicious and wary. I couldn't wait until midday when I would be free to join in the festival outside. Where I could lose myself in the stales, watch the performers and forget about the politics that fuelled our well meaning organisation.

As my appointed escape time drew nearer I excused myself from a pair of Orlessian ladies, leaving Leliana to entertain the two while I approached the refreshments table to swap out my empty glass and maybe pinch a frilly cake or two. I figured I deserved it by this point, the two women would not stop gushing about how much they were enjoying the 'novelty' of spending Wintersend in a small town festival and wondering if this was what it felt like to be a commoner. The insipid twittering of the spoilt young nobles was starting to grate on my nerves and I was close to causing permanent damage to the inside of my cheek from all the times I'd had bitten it to keep from saying things I shouldn't.

Finding a new glass I quickly took a deeper sip than generally necessary and turned back around to survey the Chantry. The mood in the hall seemed good, our guests happy and entertained. So far I'd call the meet and greet a success. And after spending a morning socialising with these people I decided Josephine deserved an award for dealing with this on a daily basis. It was too much for me. Too much back stabbing, manipulation and self serving attitude swirling about in one big horde of nobles.

_... Horde, no horde was the wrong word. A swarm of Nobles, a pack? A gaggle of Nobles? Yeah that sounded more appropriate, a chatty gaggle of high born Nobles._

....

I frowned and stared accusingly down at my already half empty glass.

_Ah, champagne_.

I could down five glasses of cider in three hours and only feel lightly buzzed, yet it only took one and a bit of bubbly and I was mentally comparing people of higher social status to a flock of geese.

_Bad bubbly!_

"Ah Lady Herald I presume." A bored sounding voice awoke me from my musings and I looked up to find a middle aged couple approaching me with a younger man trailing morosely in their wake. The trio all wore Orlessian masks with matching mustard yellow strips down one side. I straighten myself up and tried to look interested. I didn't remember being introduced to these people yet, I suppose they were Orlessians after all they probably arrived late on purpose. Fashionably late that is.

I smiled widely and tried to reconnect with sober Evie before the champagne took proper effect, discreetly stifling a hiccup.

"I prefer Evie, but yes that's me. I don't think we've been introduced yet."

_Nailed it!_

He sniffed, seemingly unimpressed. "Duke Vincent du Rouche of Salmont. This is my wife Morienne and our son Walter."

"Oh,' I exclaimed in recognition."It's an honour to meet you, thank you so much for the tunic you sent. It is beautiful."

"I picked it out myself," The Dutches of Salmont purred excitedly leaning forward around her husband. "It looks lovely on you my dear. Such a pretty face deserves to be appropriately flattered by decent clothes. Don't you think? Walter doesn't the Herald look positively darling?"

I felt my cheeks flush at the sudden compliment.

"Oh um th-thank you, but I'm hardly-"

"Nonsense," she interrupted eyes bright and eager behind her mask, the wide painted on mouth of her mask giving a more sinister feel to what would normally be a polite exchange. "No need to be modest. Tell her Walter, tell the Herald how lovely she looks. Go on."

The young du Rouche seemed to sigh before reluctantly coming forward, the man was similar to Blackwalls build if a bit softer around the middle. Dressed in the rich and tight fitting materials I'd come to expect from most Orlessians, with his long pale blonde hair pulled back in a black ribbon at the nape of his neck. For a moment he seemed to look me up and down his mask hiding his expression making me shift uncomfortably. Only a slight tilt of his head gave any indication of approval.

"You are quite the vision Lady Herald, we are fortunate Andraste choose her champion so wisely." Walter said dully, taking my hand and bowing over it slightly.

"I... uh.. I... Well... That's very kind of you to say."

_Good lord how was I supposed to response to such an over the top statement? And one that was so clearly false at that._

I took a nervous sip of drink realising abruptly that my glass was now almost empty. I barely even recalled taking the last few mouthfuls.

_Very bad bubbly!_

"My Lord, your Ladyship," Josephine's sweet voice came to my rescue as she arrived to stand by my side. "I didn't know you had arrived, so lovely to see you again it's been too long. And I see the young Master du Rouche has joined you on this visit. What a pleasant surprise."

The Duke of Salmont remained impassive and aloof letting his wife speak for them. None of them noticed the forced twitch of Josephine's otherwise serene smile.

"Ambassador Montilyet," the Dutches greeted. "We could hardly miss the opportunity to meet with the Herald of Andraste, such a lovely young lady. Thank you for the Inquisitions hospitality."

"Your most welcome, we hope you enjoy yourselves today. However I must have a quick word with the Herald." Josephine said smoothly, discretely linking an arm with mine and steering me away with an apologetic smile. "If you'll excuse us..."

Without further delay the Inquisitions Ambassador lead me through the crowds towards the Chantry entrance. I raised curious brow to the dark haired women, thankful for the assistance but surprised by her actions. Her own brows were drawn down in a frown of annoyance.

"Josie?" I asked hesitantly.

"I should have known they would do this," she muttered in annoyance, mostly to herself. "Walter was not on the confirmed attendance list, I'll need to source another room. Typical for them to just disregard common courtesy. This is a rural town not Val Royeaux! Where do they expect extra beds to come from? - No I will rise to this challenge. We will not be undone through this."

I looked at her with sympathy, not at all envious of her job.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I offered.

She smiled warmly. "Thank you Evie but this is but a minor problem. Inconvenient but minor. I can handle it. You've already done your part, if we give them too much time with you the novelty will ware off. Go and enjoy the festival."

I didn't need to be told twice, thanking the other women sincerely before discreetly making my escape through the heavy Chantry doors, ditching my now empty glass as I did. As soon as I stepped out of the stone building and into the snowy little town I felt as if someone had just cut the strings of a ridiculously tight corset I'd been stuffed into; Instant relief and gratitude.

I could breathe again.

Forcing myself to stay reserved and not dance in victory or run down the steps in joy I felt like I was ready to burst. I'd gotten through the whole thing without any incident what so ever. No spilt drinks, inappropriate comments or trampled feet. I'd been charming and polite and sweet as heck. I don't think I could have done anything more to gain the approval of our guests.

Now to reward myself.

Humming happily to myself I made my way down towards the village gates, the majority of the festival having been set up just outside Haven walls. Up ahead at a section of stones steps I could make out Seras scrawny figure perched atop one on the large Mabari statues that lined the stairs to the gates, waiting for my arrival. The little rogue had been determined to show me the best Wintersend food stalls that Ferelden had to offer and I had been more than happy to oblige her, making plans to get lunch with her and explore the stalls together.

Events like this were always better in the company of friends. Sera may be wild and unpredictable at times but she was someone I could unwind with and was fast becoming a closer friend than I imagined I'd find in the crazy girl.

The elf noticed my approach right away and I raised a hand in greeting. Seras face suddenly darkened, big eyes glaring reproachfully at something over my shoulder.

"Evie."

I turned in surprise as Walter du Rouche jogged to catch up with me. Taken aback by the nobleman's sudden appearance I stared wordless at the masked Orlessian. I hadn't expected any of the nobles to leave the Chantry until much later in the day when the wine had completely run out.

"That was your name yes?" he prompted coming to a stop in front of where I stood.

"Uh ... yes, sorry. I'm just a bit surprised that you came out here my lord, can I help you with something?" I stammered.

"I tire of all the talk back at the Chantry," he sniffed sounding rather indifferent about the whole thing. "I was hoping you would show me around this... charming little town."

_Oh boy, this was not part of my agenda for today._

"Oh, well I'm flattered you thought of me but I actually have plans with some friends this afternoon," I said apologetically sending a nervous glance Sera way to find the archer watching the exchange with her arms crossed over her narrow chest, face scrunched with dislike.

"Then change them." The Dukes son said simply.

"I-I'm sorry?" I sputtered in disbelief at his tone. "I'm afraid I can't just-"

"Your Inquisition promised its guest its utmost hospitality in exchange for the possibility of an alliance with my family." du Rouche pressed dark eyes staring dully from within his mask. "I would hate to think that its own Herald would jeopardize such a union by refusing me her company."

I felt my back stiffen and eyes go wide at the non to discrete threat.

_Wha- Whatt?!_

I didn't understand why he was so insistent on my company. It didn't seem like Walter even liked me all that much so what could he possibly gain by his request. Yet I understood his threat perfectly. At risk of ruining the Inquisitions chances of getting more support I couldn't deny him. I thought of it, thought of just turning around and ignoring him but then I remembered all the effort Josephine and the others had put into this event and much our forces needed new armour, weapons and supplies. I wouldn't let myself be the one to ruin this for them. I felt my shoulders slump in disappointment as the afternoon I'd been looking forward to enjoying with my friends slipped through my fingers like smoke.

With one last longing glance at the stone mabari I found the space empty, Sera having made a silent retreat. My stomach rolled with guilt. She was going to hate me for putting a noble before her and I couldn't blame her.

_Suck it up Evie_ , I internally scolded myself. _Don't be selfish, this isn't just about you. Do it for the Inquisition._

When I looked back up it was with a forced smile.

"If you wish, I'd happy to walk with you my lord."

I felt sick, dirty. I didn't like this person I was to forcing myself to be, someone who would abandon her friends to suck up to a more powerful ally.

"Excellent decision Herald," I could hear the smug smirk in the tone of his voice even if I couldn't see it behind his mask. The young du Rouche calmly sauntered to my side and linked his arm with mine effectively trapping meat his side. It was a struggle not to just pull away from him as we made our way towards the forest of stalls and booths.

The things I did for this organisation....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So next chapter will be out soon I promise, plus I have a reward for you all for sticking around so long for this chapter, or maybe its more of an apology.  
> At any rate stat tuned for something fun.....
> 
> .... Anybody want to see drunk Evie?


	32. Little Acts of Kindness......

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Andraste what had I just done?!'
> 
> With the Festival well under way Evie struggles to choose between doing what's right and what's necessary. And Ends up in a rather un fortunate situation with the visiting Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, Sooo unbelievably sorry its taken so long to update. I always seem to be saying that lately.  
> I struggled so much with this chapter I think I rewrote it around five times, I just couldn't get it to work up til now. And honestly I'm still rather nervous about how it will be received. It was taking so long to fix up I've actually split it into two again and decided to push my drunk Evie bit back into a bonus chapter and make it a bit longer to make up for me being such a lousy updater.... I don't think that's a word but I'm going with it anyway.  
> I'm sorry you'll have to wait a bit longer for drunk Evie, I was really looking forward to sharing her too.
> 
> ****Heads up this chapter gets a bit dark, Walter du Rouche is a very not nice man and Evies still and emotional marshmallow. Tags will be changed accordingly.*****
> 
> oh boy I can't believe I'm posting this one. Well here it goes.  
> Hope you enjoy.

** ## Little acts of Kindness.... ## **

 

Back home the local primary school would hold a yearly fair to raise money for the kiddies. Nothing big maybe a few small rides, a blow up jumping castle or two, maybe camel rides for those brave enough to risk getting spat on by the smelly creatures. There would be a stage erected from the back of a truck for the junior karate association and Miss Milly's dance school to perform on while an assortment of different food trucks or tents would be strewn about the muddy sports oval with over priced soft drink and jam donuts. As much as I loved going on what small rides were available my favourite part of the fair was always the stalls. People would come and set up their booths or tables with all sorts of different things; knitted clothes, home sown aprons, oven mitts or peg bags for the mothers, second hand books, lucky dips, handmade jewellery or soaps, brightly coloured pet rocks with googly eyes and glitter. So many pointless little items of novelty and I would spend hours happily inspecting every stall for something I'd like then I would pay too much for the item which would spend years gathering dust on my bookshelf.

_It was great._

While Thedas lacked googly eyes and jam donuts the set up was surprisingly similar. The normally empty space in front of Havens gates was teeming with tents and tables, the air smelling of exotic and foreign foods and snacks cooked over fire pits or on simplistic grills. Merchants were selling items ranging from carvings, jewellery, clothes and home wares all the way to gardening tools, weaponry and potions.

_Okay, so maybe it was a little different from back home._

But some things don't change no matter where you were. Like the excited crowed, sounds of happy conversation and laughter, children running between booths or trying the games. I didn't realise just how many kids lived in the small town until I saw half a dozen of them sitting comfortably in front of a puppet show. Even with the extra people who'd come to set up shop or perform Havens population seemed to have doubled over night with visitors from other nearby towns or villages that were willing to travel for hours to get here, Haven after all was rather remote. With such a warm, friendly and inviting environment anyone could be forgiven for forgetting the problems of the outside world for a time. I saw the faces of several soldiers walking about barely recognisable in casual clothes instead of armour, happy and care free if only for a short while.

Unfortunately for myself I was beginning to realise what had made my past experiences at these kinds of events so enjoyable was the good company I'd kept during them.

Unlike my current escort.

Having forced down my disappointment at the situation I had been trying my best to think and act positive. After all I didn't know this man, it was possible he wasn't actually that bad. Maybe as a high born Orlessian he'd just grown up getting whatever he wanted, he could still be a nice guy deep down even if he was an pretentious snob. I mean it happened all the time in movies and anime.... right? So as we walked about the crowded Wintersend festival I made polite and friendly small talk; asking the young lord about himself or pointing out interesting stalls, I even tried to make the odd joke or two.

I may as well have been talking to one Falcons horse pies for all the response I got. Du Rouche would barely speak, answering questions with one word responses killing all possible conversations opportunities dead or just sniffing in distain at the world around him. I bitterly wondered why he even bothered coming out of the Chantry and hunting me down if he wasn't going to enjoy the festival _. What was the point? What could he possibly be gaining from such a stiff and uncomfortable exchange?_

What confused me even more than du Rouches unknown intentions however was his bizarre actions. While Walter didn't speak much it seemed he was incredibly clingy. The noble would constantly try to keep me close to his side by either linking our arms tightly or with a constricting arm around my waist seeming to want me kept right up against his hip. He had no concept of personal boundaries what so ever.

I felt more than a little uncomfortable, after all I didn't know this guy and he was plastering me to him like a second skin. Maybe it was an Orlessian thing. There was certainly nothing romantic behind all the touching, du Rouche didn't even seem to like me all that much given the disapproving sneer I often felt being sent my way through his mask. Not wanting to openly insult one of the Inquisitions special guests I resorted to finding discreet ways to untangle myself from the man, twisting away with polite but uncomfortable smiles, running towards stall or booths I had no real interest in to get some distance, even pretending to have several bees land on either myself or Walter and doing some ridiculous moves to shake of said imaginary bees and in the process _'accidentally_ ' slapping away his hands. Anyone else would have taken the hint.... but not du Rouche. It never took him too long to regain hold of me.

He was a consistant bugger, I'd give him that much.

After walking for a little over an hour I yet again I found myself strolling stiffly by his side, Walters arm wrapped possessively around my waist with his hand sliding dangerously close to a place I didn't want it. I was beginning to get more annoyed than uncomfortable and was on the verge of outright yelling at the man to keep his wandering hands to himself when I spotted a stall being manned by a pair of elves that appeared to be selling items carved from wood, something in particular sitting on the very edge of their display catching my eye.

"I'm going to have a look over there," I declared to my escort and not waiting for his reply before slipping from his hold and cutting a brisk pace though the crowds to get the stall, ignoring his heavy sigh of exasperation. I was probably being rude and bratty but by this point I couldn't care. My attempts to be nice hadn't got me anywhere with him anyway.

The elven merchants stall seemed to be divided into two sections, most of the table being taken up by samples of intricately carved and glazed vases, bowels, plates and other such practical house hold items. A male elf with long braided black hair streaked with grey stood behind this section and cheerfully explained his merchandise to interested buyers. My attention was drawn to the smaller display made up of numerous statues and carvings of various size and design, from a tinny wooden rabbit the size of a thimble to an amazingly life like carving of a tree as big as The Iron Bulls forearm. A young elf girl no older than ten or eleven stood behind the display, big green eyes looking nervously about at festival with hopeful smile on her lips, lanky hands wringing anxiously in front of her chest.

On the very corner of the table was a small fist sized carving of a dragon, its wings spread wide and its face turned upwards as it stretched out ready for flight. I was instantly drawn to it. The dark wood had been polished to the point that each engraved scale shined in a perfect imitation of a real dragon. There was so much detail in the carving that looked almost alive, like at any moment and it would take flight from the table top. The young girl caught me staring and I gave her a friendly smile.

"Can I pick it up?" I asked her.

She nodded enthusiastically and I gently lifted the little carving twisting it about in my hands to get a better look. I was surprisingly heavy for its size but smooth under my fingers.

"This is amazing," I murmured enchanted by the little item. "It's so realistic!"

"Thank you," the girl said proudly. "We saw a dragon a few months back on a trip to Crestwood, I tried to copy it."

"Did you carve all these yourself?" I asked astonished.

She nodded looking nervous.

"They are wonderful, you're very talented," I praised warmly, watching as her scrawny shoulders seemed to lift and she gave a small pleased smile. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the older male elf watching the young girl with the look of a very proud father.

I felt a hand land on my lower back and du Rouche leaned around me and picked up a carving of his own to examine, choosing a figurine of a dark furred wolf with its head tilted to the side quizzically and its tail held high. I closed my eyes tight and took a deep steadying breath mostly in an attempt to hide a rudely large eye roll and stop myself from grimacing.

_Why couldn't he just give me some God damn space?!_

Du Rouche hummed thoughtfully turning the wooden wolf over in his gloved hand before scoffing.

"Pretty I suppose if this kind of... thing... is to your taste, but very basic," he said in his usual dull unimpressed tone. "We have proper shops in Salmont that sell trinkets like this. Much better quality though."

I looked at the man next to me mouth agape and utterly appalled.

_What the hell?! She was a child for Christ sake. What kind of asshole speaks to a young girl like that about something she had made?_

As I stared the noble cut his eyes back up from the figurine to the girl. I could see them though the holes in his mask as they focused on her pointed ears and seemed to narrow and harden. I had a brief sickly feeling in the pit of my stomach but before I could act on it Walter du Rouche gripped the carving tight in his fist before carelessly flinging it back down to the counter top. The wooden wolf hit the hard surface with a clatter, knocking over several other carvings as it did before hitting the bottom of the large tree carving. There was a small audible crack as it broke, its cheery tail snapping away from the body and skittering across the table top.

I gasped in horror, raising my hand to my mouth out of habit.

"See," Walter said coolly. "Not very sturdy material, hardly worth the coin. Come along Evie, you shouldn't waste your time here."

Du Rouche turned and sauntered back into the crowd, oblivious to the fuming glare I was sending between his shoulder blades.

_That... That.. Complete and utter bastard!!!_

I turned back to the elven girl, struggling to find away to apologise for the lords behaviour. My words caught in my throat when I watched her silently pick up the broken tail with her small and thin fingers, fingers I could see were already heavily calloused from hours spent carving her merchandise. Her big eyes swam with unshed tears but her face and body language showed nothing but resignation and defeat. Her father walked over to put a supportive arm around her tiny shoulders, whispering something in her ear to which she nodded and set about straightening her goods, head bowed and shoulders slumped.

How many times had this happened to the poor girl to make her look like that?

... _And how many times had it all been because of the shape of her ears?_

I felt my blood boil.

"Hey," I said softly hoping the poor girl would look up at me but was disappointed when she kept her face turned down. She looked so crushed it was painful. "Don't take any notice of him. He's just a big assho... er meanie."

She sent me a small tight smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Seriously Honey," I said smiling kindly at the girl and picking up the broken wolfs body. "What would he know anyway, he hides his face behind such an ugly mask. Clearly he has no taste."

She giggled shyly but still wouldn't meet my eyes for more than a moment, obviously still not convinced.

"Can you do me a favour?" I asked softly. "I need to go and have a word or two with that man but I would like to come back here later. Do you mind setting aside these two carvings for me, I'd hate for someone else to purchase them before I get back. I'll pay you extra for your trouble."

She frowned in confusion, staring sadly at the wolf.

"But Miss, it's broken. You won't want a broken wolf."

I waved her words away with a dismissive noise.

"Pfft! Nothing a little bit of glue won't fix. It would be such a waste to discard something so beautiful because of a little break. Besides," I smiled encouragingly at the young girl and held out the two carving for her to take, the dragon resting on my right palm, the wolf on my left. "A little damage just gives things more character don't you think? Just like with people. Kind of makes it stronger and gives it a unique story."

The young elf looked up at me with wary surprise and confusion but obediently took the items from my hands. As soon as she lifted the wolf up the girl gasped and took a step back, her big eyes fixed on my left palm.

"Y-Your..." She stammered in shock.

I looked down myself at the unmistakeable glowing green scar of the mark, left uncovered today at Josephine's request instead of being hidden behind a set of gloves as I'd normally do. Honestly I'd been surprised by how few people had actually noticed it so far, it felt like a neon sign to me advertising my strangeness for the world to gawk at. I pulled my hand away and held up a single finger in front of my lips in a gesture of secrecy and gave the girl a quick wink, thinking that for once my unwanted fame might come in use. Maybe a bit of praise from Andrastes Herald would give this girl some well deserved confidence.

"I am. And I'm also a very pleased customer of yours. So please don't let that mans petty words get to you. I think your work is beautiful."

Her face seemed to light up with joy, her smile wide and euphoric. The sight made my heart swell.

_Maybe being the Herald wasn't such a bad thing if I could make people like these happy._

"I'll come back for those later on so please keep them safe for me." With one last parting smile I turned back and slipped into the crowed with purpose.

I had an asshole to chastise.

 

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I set out down the vibrant festival paths, winding my way around various stalls and busy people looking for du Rouche, so caught up in my anger that I couldn't even dwell on the irony that I was actively seeking out the person who I'd been trying so hard to ditch for the last hour. I was too wound up by the nobles' actions that all I could focus on was finding the masked man and giving him a piece of my mind.

It was entirely possible his harsh words were just the by product of a selfish and entitled up bringing as an Orlessian noble. He probably didn't even know any other way to act around people of a lower station than him. But that was no excuse, what he'd done was horrible. To shatter a poor girls confidence like he had and damage something she had worked so hard to make without any signs of remorse. He just couldn't do that! No one had the right to do that.

_I mean what kind of man picks on a little girl?!_

And if he'd done it once what were the chances he'd done something similar before? How many times had he gotten away with being such a jerk?

Somebody needed to set him straight.

Stick up for the little people.

Go all Sera on his pompous ass!

_Ok maybe not that far._

But he did need a talking to. And as luck would have it looked like the person to deliver the talking to would have to be me.

Thedas couldn't be more unlucky if it tried.

I caught up with du Rouche after what seemed like an age and found him leaning against the side of the blacksmiths, just outside the last line of Wintersend stalls and away from the worst of the crowds. He had his arms cross over his chest and appeared to be drumming his gloved fingers edgily against his arms as he surveyed the area, most likely awaiting my return. The sight of his arrogant impatience should have been enough to fuel my anger further but then his expressionless mask turned my way and the dark eyeholes of his mask seemed to hone in to my face, his stare not angry or alarmed but completely in control and unwavering. Like nothing in the word could faze him.

I suddenly felt very small and insignificant under that intimidating gaze. My righteous fury dwindled down to nervous dislike and an inability to find the well thought out lecture that I'd had swirling articulately around my head just moments before. The words were just gone.

I should have known this would happen. It _always_ happened.

The problem was I wasn't very good at confrontation. In fact I avoided it like I avoided Cassandra when the Seeker was in a bad mood or Bull when he hadn't bathed for a few days. What few arguments I'd had with friends in the past had always been resolved with time, a few very uncomfortable silences over lunch breaks and some awkward apologies from both sides. I couldn't even recall a time before arriving Thedas where I'd raised my voice or yelled at someone in anger other than my brothers. I just could never bring myself to do it, something always stoped me. No matter how upset I'd been in the past I would always back down from an altercation. Maybe I was just too polite and nice, that's what my friends would always say at any rate. It had almost become a running joke: You could say anything you wanted to Evie, she wouldn't retaliate.

_"Evie's just too nice....."_

But deep down I knew that wasn't true. I wasn't nice, I was just scared.

Because if I spoke out and said the wrong thing, if I made things worse I would be eventually be hated by someone.

And I couldn't stand the thought of being hated.

I knew it was impossible to have everybody in the world like me, no one could ever be able to please everyone that was just ridiculous. Yet still I tried, because I wanted to be liked, even by people I didn't really like in return. I couldn't help it.

I was selfish, greedy... childish. But the bottom line was I was terrified of being hated.

So would back down and concede. I would convince myself that causing a scene would help nothing, that it was easier to stay quiet than to cause further conflict.

Because I was a coward.

I had thought since joining the Inquisition I'd been getting better at overcoming this aspect of my personality. After all there were a lot of people who disliked me at the moment, enough to want me dead even and I'd almost come to terms that. Almost. Mostly because I couldn't control it and I couldn't really blame the Chantry for what they believed, they were in fact correct about me be a fraud, they were just wrong about the whole murdering the Divine bit (well I hoped they were, I still couldn't remember what had happened at the Conclave). Since I'd been here I thought I'd gotten stronger. I'd even faced down and challenged bandits, I was fighting and hitting people with a stick on a daily basis. Hell I'd yelled at a giant beast man for having loud sex! Surely I could confront one stuck up man for being cruel to a little girl.

But as I drew closer to du Rouche and took in his expensive and pristine Orlessian clothes and unnerving mask I was reminded that this man was actually a noble, raised to be obeyed and worshipped. The son of a powerful Duke and likely successor to his fathers' title he probably had more wealth and power at his disposal than an American Senator. This whole event was put together just so we could impress and win over the support of these nobles who had money and influence the Inquisition needed to survive. It wasn't likely that someone of his stature would appreciate being put in his place by a nobody upstart with no claim to any authority like myself over something as petty as a broken figurine.

I thought of Josephine and Leliana, all the hard work they had put in to make this possible. Was I willing to put all that at risk?

Then I thought of the defeated posture of the poor elven girl and her small hands already callous from the hard work she had put into her carvings. The way du Rouche had focussed on the tips of her ears before he mercilessly broke her merchandise. It was such a small thing, the fate of the Inquisition wasn't worth a confrontation over a broken carving. But it had meant everything to one little girl.

It wasn't right, he shouldn't be able to get away with it.

"Took you long enough," du Rouche drawled as I came within reach, lazily pushing himself away from the wall. "I was starting to get bored."

I stared at him fists clenched and shaking with frustration. My conscious screaming at me from the back of my mind.

_Go on, be brave and stand up for the people who can't do it themselves. Say it! Say he can't treat people that way. Tell him he's an arrogant bastard and he can take his ill gotten money and cram it where the sun doesn't shine!_

I opened my mouth, then shut it a few times struggling with myself.

"What?" The young noble said impatiently. "You wish to say something?"

_YES!!!!! What you did back there was inexcusable, you should go back and apologise you coward! What kind of man thinks it's ok to belittle a small girl that way? I don't care who your daddy is you have no right to treat people like that!_

I swallowed dryly.

"That...Back there at the stall... Don't you think you were being a bit harsh to her?" I said hesitantly, feeling ashamed the moment the weak words came out of my mouth.

 _Coward, sell out, weakling_. I was the worst, sacrificing my pride and beliefs to cater to the whims of the aristocracy.

He laughed haughtily.

"Harsh? To that little elf girl, hardly."

"You threw her merchandise and broke it," I said a little more firmly. "She was humiliated, how is that not harsh?"

"Then maybe she should have made it better," He sniffed unperturbed. "How is that my concern?"

"You were the one who threw it," I said evenly. "What did you expect would happen? Carvings are generally made for decoration not for use as a projectile."

"Nonsense, if it had been made of better materials it wouldn't have snapped, I've bought ornaments made from sunstone that have fallen from the mantle without even a scratch."

"Not everyone can afford that kind of material my lord. She was doing the best with what she had available." I said reasonably.

"Then I was doing her a favour," Du Rouche replied sharply, unyielding of his position. "If that's the best she had to offer then she and her drifter of father are better off giving up on their craft and finding more suitable work. Better to know that now than to spend years wasted on a career that will get her nowhere. Travelling craftsmen like them are a nuisance to Thedas as it is, they are no better than the Dalish."

"What? Like work as house servants?" I snapped back angrily. "Waiting on nobility during the day and at night going back to the overcrowded slums of an alienage."

"Is that really so bad," He responded, speaking down at me like I was a child to be reprimanded. "At least they'd be guaranteed income and a roof over their heads."

"Not every elf wants to live like that," I argued stubbornly folding my arms across my chest and wondered when this conversation had turned into a debate about elves.

He laughed, a hollow and mocking sound.

"Want? If they had things the way they wanted they'd all be frolicking naked in the woods and worshiping their pagan gods like savages. They don't even know what's good for themselves. If it wasn't for human charity the elves would probably have killed themselves off from their own foolishness. They should consider themselves fortunate."

I stared at the man in front of me sadly, disappointed that anyone could actually think the way he did and fearful that he wasn't the only one with this twisted mindset. If this was how most humans saw elven kind this world was so much more damaged than a mere whole in the sky.

"Is that really what you believe?" I asked hopelessly.

Du Rouche walked forward and threw an unwelcomed arm across my shoulder before tapping a finger under my chin in an almost playful manor.

"Now now, don't look so disappointed my dear." He said happily. "I didn't make the game Evie I just play it. This is just how things are. Equality is a wonderful fantasy but we have a hierarchy for a reason. To make mankind strive for better we give them something to avoid and look down on. We keep the common sheep in line and pull their strings so society can thrive and enjoy these silly little events."

I didn't say anything. Instead I stared sullenly out at the crowds. Wishing I was out there with them instead of listening to this mans horrid truths.

He chuckled lowly and when I looked back up to him for the first time I saw something more than contempt in his cruel dark eyes. I saw actual amusement and joy.

"My my," he said softly, his tone almost surprised. "That face you're making Lady Herald, so disenchanted and despairing. It's rather.... enticing."

I felt a shiver of unease rush down my spine and tried to shrug out of the lords grip with little effect. I'd been happy and smiling with him all day and the only time he'd taken anything positive out of my company was when I was clearly upset and miserable. Something was wrong with this man.

"Come with me a moment," Du Rouche declared suddenly, tightening his grip on my shoulder he began to lead me down the side of the blacksmiths, through a narrow gap between it and the stable next door. Out of instinct I dug in my heals into the dirt and snow but with a firm yank from the stronger man I was sent stumbling along with the Dukes' son as he pulled me further into the little alley and back into the small gap behind the blacksmiths building and the high log fence that lined the town. Ignoring my startled protests Walter du Rouche gave me a small shove into a low stack of crates that had been stacked there.

"What the heck are you doing?" I sputtered catching myself on the crates and grazing my palms against the rough wood in the process. I wiped my stinging palms against my skirt and glaring reproachfully at the noble.

"Me? I'm just getting us a moment of peace, away from prying eyes. It's quieter here, no more crowds." He said simply, leaning against the back of the blacksmiths.

I swallowed hard and licked my dry lips nervously.

_I didn't like this. It felt wrong, I needed to get out. Now._

"Well I feel a little claustrophobic back here, I'd rather go back out if you don't mind." I said shakily and began to stride back out past du Rouche only to have him step out in front of me, blocking the exit. The only exit. When I tried to step aside he again moved to stop my escape.

Oh shit!

_Calm down Evie, don't jump to conclusions. You already know the guys an asshole, he's probably just trying to intimidate you._

"Let me pass Walter," I demanded softly. I probably would have sounded firmer if my voice hadn't cracked several times.

He ignored my request, dark eyes staring down at me from under the porcelain of his mask eager and excited, an unnerving match to the thin lines of the moulded lips his mask bore. When he didn't move I stepped back until I stood firmly against the crates with as much distance between us as possible. My heart thudding a terrified beat against my chest noticing for the first time the long thin sword strapped to his hip.

Had du Rouche been an enemy all along? He couldn't possibly be planning to kill me, he'd never make it out of Haven alive if he did and the noble didn't strike me as the self sacrificing type. So what was he up to?

"Did you know why I accompanied my parents to this shoddy little town?" He eventually said casually peeling off a glove and inspecting his nails like nothing was amiss. "It was the last place I wanted to be today however my mother was very insistent that I come. She seems to think I should be settling down and finding a wife you see and dear mother has heard a great deal about you Lady Treval. She knows I've grown tired of the ladies in the Court, they're all so very similar to each other. Once you've had a few of them the fun wears thin there is no..... challenge. No entertainment. Conversely the Herald of Andraste is quite the unique little trophy for any Duke or Lord. The notoriety alone from being associated with you would open many doors for my family and in exchange the Inquisition would gain the backing of one of the most influential families in Orlais. As you can imagine my mother was quite taken with the notion."

.....

_Did he just suggest that we...._

_No, nononononononono. NO!_

I was sooo not getting married!

I quickly began to panic.

"Huh? She thinks... you and me? But I'm not... I don't want... You- You want to- to court me?"

He laughed conceitedly.

"Court you?! Maker no. My mother is rather a hopeless romantic unfortunately, I only came here to appease her silly day dream until she tired of the notion as she usually does. And you are, let's be honest, rather an unimpressive candidate for a future wife."

I stiffened defensively, my relief at his lack of interest suddenly turning to embarrassment at the insult.

"I mean look at you," he continued eyes bright with amusement as he slowly walked forward. "You may be dressed like a lady at the moment but you're no more nobility than the dirt beneath us. You're not even that pretty, there are much more attractive and influential women I could have. What could you possibly offer me apart from a fancy lie of being Andrastes chosen saviour?"

I glared silently at du Rouche, eyes burning with angry tears. It wasn't like I wanted him to try and date me, far from it the man was a roach. But I'd never had so much abuse thrown in my face before, every slur he'd utter about me felt like a physical blow.

"You're just a silly little girl," he added gleefully. "Trying so hard to keep up with the big boys but pathetically needing to be carried by them instead. You have no idea what you're dealing with do you, all you have are childish ideals. I bet your little Inquisition has enjoyed having someone so feeble to use as they want. Does that bother you at all Lady Herald? Do you feel like a burden? Do you feel used?"

"Shut up!" I hissed feeling a wayward tear slide down my cheek.

"Everyone knows about the Inquisitions sweet little pet Herald. How she's so eager to please. So easy to lead... manipulate. Oh the rumours I've heard about you Evie, they'd make even a pirate blush."

"Shut up, that's not true!" I snarled. My chest felt tight and it was getting harder to breath. _Why was he saying these horrid things? And how was he knew exactly what to say to break me down?_

"I bet you thought you were important right? That you were needed. That you were wanted. How sweet."

"Stop it! Please, just stop," I croaked brokenly.

"Ah there it is!" Du Rouche jeered triumphantly coming in close and leaning forward to inspect my face, catching hold of my jaw and forcing me to stare at him when I tried to turn my face away. "That's the face I wanted to see!"

"Why are you doing this?" I cried softly, the sound was barely more than a whisper.

He hummed thoughtfully.

"Would you believe that I find your naivety to be actually rather charming? You see I have a weakness for girls like you. It's just so pleasing to watch as they realise just how cruel life really is, that look on their faces as they come to terms with their pitiable little existence and finally give up is.... so satisfying. I just can't help myself."

I jerked my face from his hand in horror. Finally understanding exactly what was wrong with this man. Why he suddenly seemed to be enjoying himself so much.

Walter du Rouche was a sadist. He liked to see women in pain, and he'd picked a new target. He wanted to see me hurting.

Well I wasn't about to just stand here and let him.

"I'm leaving." I said sharply and tried to push past him only to have one of his heavy arms throw me back against the crates and pin me there.

"Oh no, no I wouldn't do that if I were you." Du Rouche tutted happily. "You agreed to entertain me didn't you? For the sake of your Inquisition. If you leave me unsatisfied Lady Herald I may be forced to convince my father to withdraw his support, maybe I'll go back to Orlais with a few of my own stories about you to spread. Wouldn't that be a shame too, after the Inquisition has achieved so much...."

Dread seemed to run down my spine like icy water to pool heavily in my gut and began to twist about unpleasantly.

"Y-you can't be serious," I stammered anxiously. "You said it yourself you don't find me attractive."

"I don't," he murmured absently, bringing his free hand up to stroke the side of my neck lazily before slowly wrapping it around my throat. "Or I didn't. You really shouldn't have made such a heart breaking face out there Herald. How could I possibly resist an expression like that."

He began to squeeze, not tight enough to choke me properly but enough to cause pain and panic, exactly what he wanted me to feel. On reflex my hands came up to his wrist and hand and began to claw desperately at his grip. Du Rouche just laughed and bought his other hand up to grope painfully at my chest. I cried out only to have him tighten his grip on my neck to cut off my sounds of distress, I could feel the sting of his nails against my skin. His eyes, the only part of his face I could see that could give me any kind of insight to his state of mind were alight with mad excitement.

 _He's crazy!_ I thought to myself in fear, more tears escaping from my eyes _. A real psychopath._

"That's right," He breathed ruggedly. "You'll be a good girl for me wont you Evie. Just give in. You know it's easier that way."

_No. No no no no. Not this! I didn't want this. I couldn't let this happen._

I may be a coward and a weakling, but I wasn't going to just give in. Not this time. Because that's exactly what he wanted, my resignation. Well he could try all he liked I wasn't going to cave and give him his _satisfaction._ He wasn't going to win this one, I would not be his next victim.

I could be a vindictive, stubborn bitch when pushed too far.

Taking as much of a steadying breath as I could manage I thought back to all the helpful tricks and hints Dalish and Skinner had been teaching me and planned out my attack. I couldn't match du Rouche in strength but I bet I could out manoeuvre him any day of the week. Skinner said that when in a bind I should make my own openings and explained how I could make anyone flinch by targeting my enemies senses; Smell, touch, taste, sight or sound. Her favourite way of doing this was to scratch out their eyes like a wild cat. While I admit the idea of damaging those horribly eager dark eyes that had been tormenting me held some appeal though at the moment it was hardly my best option given the Orlessian mask Walter wore made those targets a bit trickier to access than per usual, the design however left his ears out in the open and nicely exposed.

With one last sob I let myself go limp, arms falling to my sides as I feigned defeat. Du Rouche let out a pleased rumble as he loosened his hold on my throat and moved his other hand to my waist so he could better hold me up. In an instant I had cupped my hands tightly and swung them up to the side bringing them down hard on either side of the noble mans' head, clapping his ears loudly in a move guaranteed to cause pain and disorientation.

Du Rouche roared and let me go long enough to clutch at his head before making a wild grab at me. He was too slow however and I easily evaded him, dropping down unexpectedly and sliding down between his legs to come up behind him. With his back to me I took the opportunity to shove him forward so he staggered into the very crates I'd been pinned against. Then in a move that was a petty as it was painful I swung my foot straight up and into his groin.

He grunted and hissed, falling weakly to his knees facing the crates as he let out a shaky pained breath.

"You bitch, you fucking bitch." He wheezed, his Orlessian accent a few octaves higher than it had been before.

"What's the matter my lord, not satisfied with my face?" I replied quietly picking up a few handfuls of mushy snow and proceeding to pull back the collar of his ridiculously puffy shirt and stuff the snow down onto his bare skin.

His girlish shriek was enough to make me smile bitterly despite my trembling knees.

"That's for the broken wolf you racist jerk," I said smugly whipping off my now freezing hands and turning to leave.

"You'll regret this." Du Rouche growled venomously, shivering as he turned to glare at me, "All of Orlais will talking about how much of a slut you are by next week, your sweet little image will be ruined."

I felt myself flushing red and forced myself push down my terror at the very notion of such rumours spreading about Thedas.

"Let them talk, they already do it seems. It's just words." I said wishing I sounded more confident and not at all like the mortified coward that I was. I couldn't take back my actions now anyway. I could only live with the consequences.

He laughed gleefully.

"Your precious Inquisition will get no support from my family or any other if I have my way, it'll all be your fault."

I felt my stomach twist with guilt but I didn't turn around. I wouldn't let him see my pain again.

"We'll be fine," I lied. "We've gotten by so far without much support and the Inquisition will keep going without it."

He laughed again, sounding more and more deranged.

"No it won't," the noble sneered. "And you know it. It will be all your fault Herald of Andraste. Everything I said to you earlier is still true you know. You are a useless burden. And you are going to drag these people down with you!"

I felt my breath hitch and my shoulders begin to shake as I raised a hand to my mouth and bit down hard on the fleshy part of my palm to stop from crying out loud.

_Don't fall for it! He's just trying to make you hurt again._

It was working.

"You'll have to excuse me Lord du Rouche but I'm suddenly feeling unwell and can no longer escort you. Enjoy the rest of the festival My Lord." I said dully as I walked stiffly back down the narrow alley, Ignoring his angry demands to come back and his pained shuffling as the injured lord tried and failed to stand and follow me out.

Once out in the open I briskly walked straight into the milling crowd of festival goers and allowed it to swallow me up. Letting myself get lost and blend in with my head bowed and half cape pulled up over my head like a hood in order to hide my face and the tears running freely down it. The noise of the happy villagers and visitors enough to drown out and hide the choked sobs I couldn't quiet manage to stifle despite all my effort as the events of the afternoon sunk in.

This was what happened when I tried to convince myself to I could be a hero and do the right thing. All the effort put into this event and I'd just royally screwed everything up beyond repair.

_"All your fault!"_

Andraste what had I just done?!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me. Please....  
> Evies a tough marshmallow. She'll get through it.


	33. ...... And Violence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That was a fib and a big one at that. I was trying to make you feel better."
> 
> Evies trouble with the Dukes son isn't over just yet...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again :)  
> Big thank you to all the lovely people who left likes and comments. Sorry for making you wait. You people are the reason I keep writing at 2 in the morning :)

## ...... And Violence ##

 

 

I kept my head down as I wandered aimlessly through the throng of people, hoping that I could blend in long enough for du Rouche to lose interest in searching for me and could make run for the safety of my cabin without fear of the nobleman following me. Thankful that so far no one around seemed to notice my state of distress and if they had were politely ignoring me while I mentally berated myself and moped about like a despair demon.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!_

I was such an idiot. _How did I always manage to get into these messes? What was wrong with me?_

_"Useless...."_

I scowled and angrily brushed at my eyes. This was by far the biggest mistake I'd made in my life so far and the guilt was eating away at me already. Jeopardising all the hard work and effort everyone had put into today all because I had to go all equal rights activist on the son of a powerful Duke.

The threat of du Rouches rumours was terrifying but manageable in a sense; after all he had no real proof. Not that proof was needed in this situation for it to get out of hand. I had no doubt people had seen us go behind the blacksmiths and it would be so easy for onlookers to jump to conclusions, especially with someone feeding gossipers a story that was far more entertaining than truth. The idea that I was soon going to be unjustly known as Thedas biggest tramp made me break out into a cold sweat but I knew it wasn't true. I had deniability and if we held strong and ignored what people said the whispering would eventually stop as all rumours inevitably do. It would be unpleasant and hurtful, but it would end eventually.

His promise to withhold support for the Inquisition and encourage others to do the same was however a much more worrisome problem. Not only would our soldiers not get the funding for better equipment and rations they so desperately needed but we could lose all the backing and support from the noble families we'd already accumulated. We needed that support in order to even consider approaching either the Mages or Templars for help closing The Breach. Without it we were stuck, there was no way forward. The Breach would continue spitting out demons and tearing apart this world.

So not only had I potentially ruined the Inquisition I may have doomed the world.

_God I was such colossal screw up!_

I should have just kept my mouth shut. I should have just smiled and nodded and played their stupid game like Vivienne did. I shouldn't have allowed myself to get upset by his words. He never would have taken notice of me if I hadn't shown such weakness in front of him.

I should have been smart enough to get out of a potential bad situation before it escalated. I should have run screaming as soon as I saw that alleyway.

_So stupid!_

I would need to tell Josephine what had happened. What I'd cost the Inquisition. She and the others were probably still enjoying the gathering at the Chantry, completely oblivious to the fact that it was all useless now, I'd already blown it. The moment Walter returned to Orlais and spread his rumours it would be all over. I could already picture the Ambassadors look of disbelief and disappointment when she heard the truth. The thought made my chest pang painfully. After all they'd done for me this was how I repaid them.

But I couldn't do it. I couldn't face her. All I wanted was to run back to my cabin, scrub myself clean then curl up under my blankets until the world ended.

I'd done enough damage for one day.

Having circled the festival twice already I wound up idling close to Havens gates, figuring it was as good a chance as any to make my escape I quickly scanned the area for any Orlessian masks among the crowd before making my move. Keeping my head low I walked quickly through the open gates towards the steps, focusing only on putting one foot in front of the other and hearing only my heart beat pounding out a anxious rhythm in my ears. So when a hand suddenly appeared from nowhere and caught hold of my sleeve I couldn't help but almost jump out of my skin and whirl around with a petrified gasp, arm swinging out defensively. The sudden motion caused my feet to tangle and step on the hem of my skirt and I lost balance, staggering back in an uncoordinated windmill of arms as I began to fall back towards the stone steps.

_Crap!_

"Careful!"

I closed my eyes and braced for a jarring impact. Only to have a quick hand wrap around my wrist before abruptly pulling me back upright with enough strength to propel me into someones firm chest with a startled _umph!_

For a stunned moment I just stayed there, eyes closed and cheek pressed against soft material that smelt like earth, elfroot and parchment while I tried to reassure my frantic little heart that I wasn't in danger of cracking my head on the steps anymore.

 _Though let's face it, the way things were going at the moment a concussion could hardly make things any worse_.

"It seems you are still too clumsy for your own good Evelyn." My rescuer chuckled cheerfully, the familiar noise reverberating through his chest under my ear.

My eyes flew back open in surprise and horror.

_Oh no, anyone but him! Please let me be imagining this._

I hesitantly looked up to find a familiar perfectly angular jaw and a ridiculously tempting dimpled chin looking down at me. The mouth and crystal clear blue eyes beyond seemed to be smiling with amusement.

_... Its official, God or the Maker must hate me._

"Solas..." I gasped shakily, and hastily backed out of his arms. "You startled me."

"Evidently," The Mage replied slowly letting me retreat but watching intently. His serene face becoming marred by a deep furrow of his brow, the amusement changing to concern in an instant. "I called out to you several times, though I suppose you must not have heard me. Is something wrong?"

_Only everything._

The smart thing to do would be to tell Solas what had happened. He was going to find out eventually anyway as was the rest of the world. It wasn't like the apostate had shown any kind of approval for Orlessian nobles in the past and while he'd never really shown much kinship for either city or dalish elves I know he disliked how badly most were treated so I doubt he'd be upset by my actions. The outcome of those actions however was a different matter. The elf was as determined as anyone I knew to close the Breach and I'd put that task in jeopardy. Just like how I couldn't bring myself to face Josephine yet I was too much of a wimp to see the disappointment on his face when he realised how badly I'd screwed up. Not to mention the thought of Solas knowing what du Rouche had almost done to me had me feeling queasy and sick. I wanted to hide that particular shame and weakness for as long as possible.

Especially from the elven apostate.

"N-no," I stammered out hurriedly, unable to look him in the face while slowly edging my way up the stairs. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just... not feeling very well, I was going to go back to my cabin."

"Would you like my assistance, if you're feeling ill I may be able to offer you some treatment." I may not have been looking at his face but the elfs worry was clearly evident in the sympathetic tone of his smooth voice.

_Stupid Evie, you try and get away from the healer by telling him you're sick. Brilliant move!_

I shook my head vigorously.

"No, it's alright, I'm alright. Really. But thank you... for the er-offer. I'll just-"

My lame attempt at placation was interrupted with sharp intake of breath and a horrified exclamation.

"Are those scratches on your neck?!"

My hand came up to the side of my neck with an audible _slap!_

_Oh sugar! Quick think of an excuse!_

"Umm...I-uh... it... no wait!"

Solas had caught up to me in a few quick strides of his long legs and peeled my hand away to examine the sight in question with no regard for my protests, his eyes were narrowed and hard, his mouth set into a firm line, expression thunderous.

"You are bruised too," he murmured in appal. "Evelyn what happened?"

"Nothing-"

"These marks suggest otherwise," He quipped sternly. I flinched at his harsh tone and Solas's eyes seemed to widen at my response before softening sorrowfully and speaking gentler. "Evelyn who did this?"

I floundered with my mouth opening and closing silently while I struggled to string a few syllables together, wanting to lie to him and confess the truth at the same time.

A loud clear voice saved me the trouble of trying to decide when it called out and interrupted our exchange.

"Lady Herald!"

_No..._

I froze, looking up and feeling the colour drain from my face as if it were chalk being rinsed from a sidewalk. Du Rouche was standing at the foot of the stairs, arms folded across his chest, clothes rumpled and stained with water damage from the snow and eyes bright and vicious beneath his mask fixed on me.

_Fuck._

"We are not yet finished our _discussion_ Evie," the Orlessian sneered striding calmly up the stairs, a sense of menace clinging to every word.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

"Evelyn?"

I could barely even register Solas's soft questioning voice in my ear, my mind working quickly to figure a way out of this predicament.

This could end very badly. Solas was a very clever man, it wouldn't take him long to put two and two together. If he figured out that du Rouche was the one responsible for the marks on my neck there would be a confrontation out in the middle of Haven for all to witness. We were already in enough strife without added to it a public fight between a visiting dignitary and our apostate elf. It would the equivalent of having a janitor bitch slap the Pope back on Earth. Even if Solas had the best of intentions in defending me having him, an elf, even just verbally accuse a noble man would look bad for us and God only knew what repercussion there would be for him. At the same time there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to finish whatever it was du Rouche had planned for me. My best option was to make a run for it and hope I could lose du Rouche again. I could explain things to Solas later.... Or maybe avoid him for the rest of my life.

"I-I need to go," I croaked fearfully and made to turn when du Rouche called out again.

"This is your last chance Lady Herald. Come with me now and I will forget everything that just happened. If you walk away your Inquisition is as good as finished."

I hesitated, frustrated tears threatening to spill while my hands curled into shaking fist, nails digging into my palm. I didn't want to go with the Dukes son, whatever awaited me with him was guaranteed to be painful and humiliating. To willingly get myself into that situation again was beyond stupid. However the Inquisition was needed. We had to close the Breach. We were saving people's lives. My virtue and personal comfort shouldn't be put above that. I'd like to think I was willing to do whatever it took to keep other people from having to suffer, that I would risk life and limb. But the thought of letting that man put his hands on me as he had before, letting him kiss or touch me....

Was it selfish that I wasn't willing to put myself through that?

I didn't know what to do. I was torn between my need to help and self preservation.

_This wasn't fair!_

My moment of pause seemed to encourage du Rouche enough that he closed the gap between us

"Smart girl," he said smugly striding up the steps. "Now come along, you have wasted enough time with your antics."

I had to do something and it all came down to a simple choice, me or them.

I felt my shoulders slump and my hands uncurl and hang uselessly at my sides with resignation as the fight left my body like air from a deflating balloon. Turning back around meekly to face du Rouche I took a deep breath. The answer was inevitable.

_Other people always come first._

"Evelyn what is going on?" Solas asked, sharp eyes fixed on the Orlessian Noble with distrust.

Du Rouche in turn finally seemed to register there was someone else with us and looked the Mage over with indifference.

"What's this? I didn't realise you had a pet rabbit Evie," Walter laughed.

_Rabbit?! Was that some kind of racial slur?_

I felt a flicker of anger stirring in my chest again and fought it down. After all it hadn't done me any favours today.

"No, Solas is a friend and valued member of the Inquisition." I corrected softly, not able to look at my friend as a defended him so weakly.

"Well this is hardly the any of his concern," du Rouche sniffed. "He can go and bother someone else we have things to discuss. Come along Herald."

The noble man reached out to possessively take hold of my upper arm and I winced expecting the return of his tight painful grip. Only it didn't come. Instead the slender long fingers of the Inquisitions Fade expert wrapped tightly around the Orlessians forearm stopping du Rouche firmly.

"Solas...?" I questioned fearfully looking up at the Mage.

He wasn't looking at me; instead his intelligent eyes were glaring intently at the other man.

"Do not touch her," Solas hissed darkly.

Du Rouche bristled and furiously glared at Solas's hand as he tried and failed to shake it off.

"How dare you touch me! Unhand me wretch!"

"I'll dare to more than touch you if attempt to lay a finger on her again," the Mage all but purred eyes flashing dangerously as he allowed his offending hand to crackle with a small amount of lightning.

"Solas!" I gasped horrified and grabbed his arm and attempted to pull it away, well aware that Solas let go of the man through his own choice only and not by my strength. For someone who specialised in ranged attacks he had a surprisingly strong grip.

Du Rouche hissed in pain and shook out his arm glaring witheringly at Solas.

"A Mage," he growled. "How very dangerous of you to use your powers against me Apostate."

_No no no this was exactly what I feared would happen!_

I fearfully stepped in between the two men with my hands raised in front of me in calming gesture, trying to divert the Nobles attention back to me before he began targeting my friend.

"He didn't mean it my Lord, it was a mistake. Solas you should go..." I interjected looking to the elf with pleading eyes. Neither man took any notice.

"Yes I am very dangerous." Solas snarled from behind my shoulder, stepping out to the side so he had an uninterrupted view of the Noble. "You would do well to remember that _shemlen_."

"Are you trying to frighten me?" du Rouche asked accusingly, not backing down at all.

"Please, both of you stop thi-" I tried to interrupt again, conscious of the growing amount of attention we were receiving from nearby festival goers and villagers.

"You certainly should be frightened, though I doubt you are intelligent enough to realise your disadvantage over your own enormous ego and pomposity."

"Solas!"

"Ha! Do you know who I am? I am the future Duke of Salmont. I could have you trialled as an abomination at a moment's notice Mage!"

"You can't do tha-!"

"You could certainly try" Solas smirked appearing not at all concerned by the other man threats. In fact he almost looked to be enjoying himself. Like a wolf toying with a Chihuahua, letting it yap and bite at his paws knowing at any moment he could swat it down without issue.

I didn't share his confidence. Sure Solas could turn the Orlessian into a stain on the steps with barely a thought but that would just put him at greater risk of retribution.

"I know people," Walter replied gleefully. "I'd just have to say the word and you will be chained up in a Templar holding cell."

"No don't-!"

"Is that so?" Solas folded his arms across his chest, mouth twisted in distaste.

"With the way things are I wouldn't even have to pay them to turn a rouge apostate Tranquil...."

"You evil son of a-"

My insult was drowned out and lost beneath Solas blasé' retort.

"Such a barbaric response would be expected by someone of your calibre. Never the less you wouldn't live to see the results."

Du Rouche continued to rant, his threats gaining momentum and volume.

"..... Then I will have your mindless shell of a body sent to the worst alienage in Thedas..."

"That's enough!"

"...Where you can spend the rest of your life rotting away..."

"Cut it out Walter!"

".... With rest of your worthless race. You. Filthy. Knife eared. Bastard!"

CRACK!

The sound seemed to echo across Haven like a shot blast and the young Lord was suddenly toppling backwards and bouncing down the stone steps like a slinky, heel over head and grunting with each bounce until he landing at the foot of the steps. For a moment everything was silent all eyes in the vicinity on du Rouche as he lay in a crumpled heap, one of his puffed up sleaves was almost torn from his shirt and as we watched his heavy porcelain mask split in two and slid lazily of his face to clatter onto the ground.

I looked wide eye to Solas, expecting the elf to be shaking his hand like they did in the movies after a particularly hard punch. Only the elf wasn't shaking his hand, he was however staring at me, mouth agape in shock.

"Evelyn...?" he breathed out cautiously.

There was a sudden pang of pain from my right hand, looking down I found I was holding it to my chest, my fist trembling and knuckles split, a small trickle of blood trailing down my wrist before dripping freely to the steps.

 _Ah.... that explains the look_.

I was the one who'd hit du Rouche.

I'd punched him right in the face.

In front of everybody in Haven.

_Well, there goes any deniability I'd had previously._

Du Rouche began to wail and writhe about, cursing viciously as he clutched at his face with a fountain of his own blood seeping through his fingers and down his chin and neck.

_Oh shit balls._

Josephine was going to have me murdered. Probably by Vivienne or Leliana.

More people began to crowd around the scene and the sounds of their whispered and murmured speculations reached my ears, making my heart beat out a panicked rhythm inside my chest as the weight of what I'd just done sunk in. I bit my lip and sent Solas a panicked look before dashing quickly down the stairs to du Rouches aid.

"Evelyn wait!"

I ignored him and hovered awkwardly over the fallen Noble, unsure what I could do to make this better and feeling guilty that I'd struck out and injured someone in anger. I'd only ever hit people in self defence or training, I'd never actually instigated any violence. I hadn't even realised what I was doing went I'd hit him. I was horrified by myself.

_And yet...._

The look in Walters eyes as he went ass over teakettle....

It felt kind of...

_Satisfying._

"Bitch! Fucking Cunt! You will pay for this, you will all pay," du Rouche screamed, voice muffled slightly by his hands and sounding more nasal than before.

"Let me see," I ordered shakily pulling at his sleeve to coax his bloodied hands from his face, hoping that the Noble was just a big bleeder and the damage wasn't too severe.

He removed his hands and blinked up at me.

"What have you done to me?" he demanded. "How bad is it?"

I recoiled automatically.

_Argh!_

"It's... It's not so bad," I murmured with forced confidence.

That was a big ass lie. Du Rouches nose was now squashed across the right side of his face and was swelling quickly. It also appeared he had lost and chipped a few teeth on his journey down the steps and his lip was split and purpling. I'd never seen his face before because of his mask but it was safe to assume it hadn't looked like that.

_Yikes, hope he knew a good plastic surgeon among all his contacts._

"Really?" He gingerly felt his face and howled in pain. "My nose, you broke my fucking nose!"

"I'm so sor-" I started to apologise out of habit then stopped myself.

_What was I doing?_

This man had attacked and assaulted me, made me feel beyond powerless and weak. He threatened the reputation of the Inquisition and even worse he'd made promises to have Solas made Tranquil! And yet here I was going to apologise and suck up to him to save face and hope he might change his mind about ruining our organisation. He was a creep and a bully and a very, very bad man. He didn't deserve my apologies or my help. If I continued to play this game by his rules it would just reinforce the idea that he could get away with whatever he wanted just because he shared his fathers blood.

_Well screw that! No more._

I was done trying to be nice to this piece of trash, he was going to do what he wanted regardless.

"Well no, actually I'm not sorry. You sort of deserved the punch for being a racist asshole and unjustly threatening my friend. You had it coming. I do regret what happened your nose though. It looks a little.... Messy."

"Messy?! You said it wasn't bad," he shrieked eyes bugging out of his head.

"That was a fib and a _big_ one at that. I was trying to make you feel better," I shrugged casually and smiled sweetly. "It's a complete wreck, like really messed up. If there were such a thing as a grotesque demon and it came through a Rift right now even it would want to hurl if it saw your face the way it is at the moment. I think your mask made the impact worse, unless the tip of your nose always used to touch your eyebrow."

Du Rouche seemed to gape wordlessly, the pale skin of his face still visible beneath all the blood began too heat and twitch. A large vein popping up dangerously on his forehead.

I leaned in and whispered loudly. "You should probably get that looked at. I know an excellent Mage with healing abilities though admittedly he may not want to treat you. He doesn't like bigoted shemlen with a tendency to get his rocks of torturing women."

"You! I will end you!" he seethed and began to sit himself up staggering to his feet and lurching towards me. I edged back arms raised defensively only to have Solas appear at my side and pull me protectively behind him. Du Rouche stopped his advance glaring at the elf, even he was stupid enough to face a Mage in unarmed combat.

"Don't you think you have lost enough of your dignity for one day?" Solas warned. "Leave before I call in Inquisition soldiers and have you removed."

I stared at the elfs back in wonder. Since when did Solas speak with such command and authority?

_It was freaking hot!_

As luck would have it at that moment Cullen arrived on the scene. Flanked on either side by Inquisition soldiers and with one of Leliana's agents trailing inconspicuously in their wake, the Commander pushed his way through the amassed crowd of spectators.

"What in the Makers name is going on here?!" He roared loudly in his fiercest Commander voice. Cullens honey coloured eyes hard and intimidating and his hand resting readily on the hilt of his sword. Almost immediately the crowd began to thin out as people fled to a safer distance in fear that the large blonde man would turn that look towards them.

"Excellent timing Commander Cullen," Solas said smoothly never taking his eyes from du Rouche. "May I suggest having this man escorted out of Haven? I have reason to believe he has assaulted the Herald, or at least attempted too."

I felt my stomach drop as Cullens gaze fell to where I stood standing behind Solas with my fists raised, his mouth opening and golden eyebrows drawing down with concerned shock. The remaining onlookers began to mutter loudly amongst themselves at the new development and I felt my cheeks heat. Amongst the mob I could make out a few familiar faces inching toward the front including Blackwall, Cassandra and a few of the Chargers. It was quiet the audience present to hear about my most shameful moment.

 _Oh God this was embarrassing_.

"Me? Assault her!" Walter raved, looking deranged as he gestured aggressively with his arms. "That girl is a mad women. She and her pet abomination attacked me, unprovoked. I want her punished! I demand to speak to someone in charge here!"

Cullen gave the man a hard look.

"Well you can talk to me. Everyone else not evolved needs to go back to what they were doing, this is not a performance for your entertainment." The Commander looked about the crowd icily. When nobody seemed to want to move he sighed heavily and barked out a sharp "NOW!"

And like that the throng of gawkers were practically tripping over themselves to get away.

_Go Rutherford!_

When the area had cleared of all onlookers, apart from Cassandra and Blackwall who were hovering nearby Cullen turned to all us expectantly. I felt like I was back in primary school being grilled by the teacher about which of us had written _'Mr Line wears a diaper'_ on the white board in permanent marker.

"Well? I expect an explanation for this commotion," He barked. "I will not have this kind chaos happening on my watch."

I sighed and walked reluctantly out from behind Solas.

"It's my fault Cullen. Lord du Rouche said some disrespectful and threatening things to Solas and I snapped. I punched him and he fell down the stairs."

"You see! She admits it!"

"That's not the whole truth," Solas interjected glaring angrily at du Rouche. "He was trying to force Evelyn to go with him-"

"She was going willingly knife ear, don't fool yourself. I wasn't _forcing_ her to do anything," du Rouche countered smugly.

"Being threatened and intimated through blackmail is not considered a consenting action," the Mage contented, voice getting louder so to talk over the argumentative man. "She was clearly frightened of you, no doubt you were the one responsible for those bruises on her neck."

"What bruises?" Cullen asked turning his attention back to me and his stern expression dropping for a heartbeat as his gaze fell to my neck, his expression darkening further at the sight. "Did this man do that to you?"

_Well it's all out in the open now anyway, no more use in hiding it._

I swallowed hard and nodded.

"Yes," I said softly. "He tried to strangle me. It.... _excited_ him. He was going to.... I-I got away but he caught up to me here."

Cullen visibly recoiled looking repulsed. "He WHAT?!!!"

I winced.

"Preposterous," du Rouche sneered. "Your Herald is a nasty little liar. No one will believe your claim Evie, you have no proof and the world already knows what a fraud you are. I will not stand for such an accusation. Your Inquisition is a disgrace and I will have all of Orlais know it!"

"I wouldn't count on that Your Lordship," a cheery, slightly raspy voice rang out from behind us and I turned to see a small woman in light armour walking our way, short bow strapped to her back. I recognised her immediately but would have never thought to have met her here.

"Harding?" I addressed the dwarf in surprise.

"Lady Herald," she greeted with a small duck of her head before turning to Cullen a saluting. "The Herald speaks the truth Sir, I witnessed the whole thing and can a test to her claim. Though, it was a slightly more malicious attack than she's described."

"You saw!" I gasped mortified that someone had seen the incident.

She nodded gravely. "I was just about to intervene when you got away yourself. You should consider yourself very fortunate Your Lordship, if the Herald hadn't kicked your ass when she did you'd currently have half a dozen arrows sticking out of it. I must admit I didn't expect you to go after her again, must be a masochist as well as a sadist."

Du Rouche seemed to pale slightly but stubbornly held firm. "It's still your word against mine, no one will believe you. I'm of noble blood, the claims of a crazed murderer and some random dwarf will not be believed over my word."

""Are you sure?" Harding said calmly smug smile teasing the corner of her mouth. "What with all the rumours circling about your last two failed engagements and what happened to those poor servant girls from the de Monfort mansion. Not to mention most of the people here have all seen the marks on the Herald neck, marks that weren't there before you forced her behind the blacksmiths. You got sloppy this time my Lord, you left evidence."

Du Rouche looked to have frozen, standing with his hands clenched and his mouth opening and closing wordlessly as he tried and failed to come up with a response. But he had none, he'd been out played. By a dwarf no less!

"I've heard enough," Cullen growled lowly and gestured for his men to come forward. "Take this filth to the holding cells while I inform the others and decide what to do with him. And don't worry about being careful with him on the way."

The two soldiers quickly came forward, each taking hold of one of du Rouches arms, at their touch the noble man seemed to regain his senses began to struggle and yell shrilly.

"Unhand me! Unhand me this instant you clods! I am the future Duke of Salmont! You can't do this! I will have your heads on a pike! I will- Oww!!"

One of the soldiers had kicked du Rouche in his calve with the tip of his steel covered boots.

"Ooops, slipped on some ice," he said happily.

"You did not you bastard! You- Oooomph!"

The second soldier removed his fist from du Rouches stomach. "Yeah me too, damned ice."

We watched for a moment as they led/ dragged the Dukes son up the steps towards the Chantry, du Rouche yelling obscenities and calling out in pain as they went. When they were out of sight I turned my attention back to scout Harding, staring at the dwarf in surprised amazement. Harding had literally come out of nowhere somehow armed with exactly the right information that could save the Inquisition from du Rouche.

"What...How did you-?" I stammered in bewilderment. "Harding what are you even doing here?"

The cute dwarf looked sheepishly up at me.

"We came back for supplies and a change of personal, this was supposed to be my day off but when Sister Nightingale realised that Walter du Rouche was missing from the Chantry she asked me to find you and make sure you were safe. Du Rouche has a reputation you see, a lot of accusations have been made about him but he's always managed to weasel his way out of things. He wasn't even invited here today but showed up anyway. By the time I found the agent who was shadowing you today you were already behind the blacksmiths with him, Wilfrid was under the misconception you may have wanted some privacy and didn't realise what was happening. I sent him to get The Commander for back up and took over supervising you. I'm sorry I didn't intervene earlier. It took me far too long to get up onto the stables roof to get a good vantage point and by then you had it under control."

I blinked for a moment, my throat feeling tight before throwing myself at the dwarf. Harding squeaked in surprise as I wrapped my arms around her stocky frame and pulled her tight to my chest in an awkward but heartfelt embrace. I was practically smothering the poor women but I didn't care. I felt like the greatest weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

He couldn't despite our accusations all thanks to Hardings information and testimony! Nobody would listen to the young Lord now, he would be disgraced. The Inquisition was safe.

"Thank you," I said half sobbing half laughing. "Thank you, thank you, thank you a hundred times! You so saved my butt just now. You have no idea! I don't know how I'll ever repay you Harding."

Harding's reply was muffled by my chest as she patted my back reassuringly. "Umm don't mention it, my Lady."

"Seriously," I laughed and stepping back to look at the scout, giving her a chance to breathe again. "You deserve a present, do you like sweets? Flowers? Jewellery? Puppies?"

"I could use a raise," she hedged brightly. "But I'd settle for a pint."

"I'll shout you three, no! A dozen" I promised. Noticing that both Cullen and Solas had edged closer I turned to them apologetically. "And you both... I'm so sorry to have caused this much trouble. I don't know what I can do to make it up to you."

"Are you alright Evie?" Cullen asked in concern.

"I am now. He said he was going to spread rumour about me and have the Nobles withdraw their support for the Inquisition. I thought I'd ruined us. Thank the Maker Harding was able to back me up."

The Commander made a noise of frustration and ran a hand back through his hair.

"That's not what I meant. After he...did he...Damn it! Are you hurt?"

I felt my face heat.

_Oh man this was awkward as fuck._

"No! No he didn't manage to umm... He was just rough and well uh kind of mean. I mean he did..... and my hand sort of hurts but I'm... ok... uh guys?" I trailed off as both men seemed to be glowering furiously. The ends of Solas's ears had turned red and Cullen looked to be shaking with rage.

" _'Just rough?'_ " Solas repeated aghast.

" _'Kind of mean?'_ " Cullen added.

I realised suddenly how that all sounded.

"No! We didn't... you know... he just tried to."

"Are trying to protect him?" Cullen growled crossly.

"What? No!"

"Them why are you down playing what happened?" the Commander demanded angrily.

"Because I don't want to think about it!" I yelled before realising what I was admitting out loud. "I... please don't make me repeat what happened, I just... I can't. I just want to forget it. Please."

Cullen stepped back looking ashamed while Solas look at me with sad eyes.

"Oh dalen-" he started towards me only to have me step back quickly.

"Please don't Solas," I whispered fighting down panic. I couldn't handle their pity right now. "I know you mean well but right now..."

"I understand," he said softly.

"Thank you," I said looking down at my feet.

"Would you like me to take you back to your cabin Evie?" Cullen offered kindly.

Solas spoke up before I could respond.

"I can take her Commander," he said swiftly. "I'll need to attend to those injuries any way."

"I can still make sure she-" The Commander began only to be cut off by Solas.

"Shouldn't you go and speak to Leliana and Josephine about what happened, they will need to be updated so you can decide what to do with that man."

For a moment Cullen seemed to want to argue before sighing in resignation and giving me one last worried look. "I suppose I should, but only if your sure your alright Evie."

I nodded, "I'll be ok. Thank you Cullen."

The Commander sighed in resignation but waved farewell and made his way towards the Chantry, Harding following suit before turning back round to address Solas.

"I hate to suggest this," she said cautiously. "But maybe don't heal the bruises on her neck until tomorrow. The more people who see them the worse du Rouche looks."

Solas brows drew down into a tight frown but he nodded stiffly. Taking hold of my uninjured hand the Mage began to lead the way towards my cabin. I sent a small reassuring wave over to where Blackwall and Cassandra had remained watching the unfolding events from a distance happy to see them both head back into the crowd instead of coming after me. I didn't want people fussing over me right now, I talk to them later.

Half way there I looked back at the festival, seeing all the brightly coloured stalls and happy people I felt a sudden twinge of regret.

"Wait a moment," I said stopping dead.

"What is it Evelyn?"

I looked up at Solas shyly.

"When you've finished patching me up would you like to go back to the festival with me?" When he didn't answer right away and proceeded to stare at me like I'd grown an extra head I began to ramble. "Only I was really looking forward to it and it was sort of ruined by... well... I don't want what happened to completely spoil my first Wintersend. You don't have to of course, if you don't want to. There were a few things I wanted to buy so I'll be going back any way but if you wanted to it might be nice if we... went ... together?"

_Real smooth Evie._

To my surprise Solas's face seemed to almost melt indulgently, his eyes softening as his mouth twitched up into a warm smile.

"It would be my pleasure," he said smoothly reaching out to brush a way ward strand of hair back behind my ear.

My stomach fluttered pleasantly and I couldn't look him in the face.

"Oh, well. G-good, that's good. Thank you."

_Omigod, omigod, OMIGOD!_

"Thank you for the invitation," he chuckled clearly finding my discomfort amusing as he turned back around to continue the short walk to my cabin. "But first let's get you cleaned up Herald."

As I trailed torpidly in the elf wakes I was glad Solas had his back to me. This way he couldn't see the stupidly giddy grin I couldn't seem to wipe off my face.

_Funny how the worst day of my life could suddenly feel like the best._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this leaves a few more people happy than the last chapter did lol.  
> Special Chapter up next, a bit of fun to balance out the drama.  
> Feel free to leave a like or comment if you enjoyed because it really makes my day.  
> Also remember if you really like the story you can bookmark it so its easier to keep track of updates.
> 
> ps This story is obviously fiction, I certainly do not want to be causing any readers distress. So if anyone finds themselves in a similar situation as Evie did in the last few chapters please don't do what she did and stay quiet or beat yourself up over it. Its ok to speak up and get help. Ands its NEVER your fault.  
> Lov Bel


	34. In Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wanted to get something special for everyone, something they could keep to remember me by... you know?... If I ever do manage to find a way back home."
> 
> Evie attempts to enjoy the rest of the festival with Solas.... Things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter wasn't supposed to happen. It was meant to be a half page build up to set things up for the kind of bonus chapter I have coming... and then this happened! And now I can't seem to cut it out because it ties into other things I have planned and I suppose it needed to happen...... but still. Grrrr  
> Why can't I do short and simple?

## In Thanks ## 

 

After a quick healing session with my favourite Mage and a change into clean clothes that weren't spotted with blood I found myself back into the busy fray that was the Wintersend festival, feeling much more comfortable and at ease than I did my first pass through. This time dressed a bit less conspicuously in my comfy soft leather pants and a pretty moss green tunic that fell to mid thigh and had the shoulders cut from the long loose sleaves, the material was warm enough that I only needed my woollen shawl over the top to remain comfortable and allowed me to blend in better with crowd to avoid further scrutiny. Not that I would even notice the unwanted attention anymore, too engrossed in the happy turn of events and my new escort to even care if every eye in Haven was on me. I was enjoying myself so much that the events of earlier seemed like it had happened days ago instead of hours.

I just couldn't stop smiling. I tried to, I really did. But all I had to do was turn to the side and remember that Solas was walking with me and I would be grinning like an idiot.

_Don't get too excited, it's not a date,_ I would remind myself. _He's probably just walking with you because he's worried you'll punch another Noble or because he feels bad about what happened. It's a pity escort, that's all. Don't get your hopes up; he's your friend that's all it is._

_That's all it can ever be._

Unfortunately despite my internal reasoning it seemed logic had lost all power over the situation and my hormones had taken control of my sanity. Just having the elf spending time with me made me feel ludicrously happy. Talking to him about what I'd found at certain stalls or about the fire breathing performer on stilts entertaining kids at the end of the row of jewellery displays. Trying to convince him to try the sugary sour boiled treats I'd bought to snack on and watching his normally calm face twist and contort when he finally caved and took one. Seeing him smile or laugh at something I said and feeling him casually pull me closer to him in packed areas between displays to protect me from the rough bumping or shoving of other festival goers. Having him by my side, even if it didn't mean the same for him as it did for me, was more than enough to have my heart feel full to bursting.

_Oh God, my little crush on the elven apostate was getting ridiculously out of hand._

I just hoped it wasn't as obvious as it felt.

As we wandered about casually I walked with lightness to my step I hadn't felt in a long time, a canvas shoulder bag bouncing merrily against my hip and getting heavier and heavier with each stall we visited. The Inquisition had been giving me a small allowance every week to pay for essentials both in Haven and out on the road since the day I agreed to help them, seeing as my clothes and housing and even most of my meals were provided for me I'd slowly been saving up. Along with the abandoned stockpiles of coins that seemed to show up in random crates or chest on our trips that was split between our little travelling group and the small change Sera, Varric and Bull raided from pockets of fallen opponents (Though I refused to touch that money) I'd gradually been accumulating more coins than I really knew what to do with. It wasn't because it was a fortunes worth of money, more that I didn't know what I could spend it on. Back home my extra money went towards leisure items like books or games or dvds or new jeans. There was no JBHIFI in Haven though or little else to appease my shopping needs for that matter. However this festival was almost as good as a trip to Melbourne's South Bank and I was taking to opportunity to lighten my coin purse while it was here.

"What do you think of these?" I asked Solas holding up a pair of glittering earrings the size of a bottle tops and shaped like delicate snowflakes, they had obviously been carved from some kind of white crystal and were rather more grandiose than I would normally consider buying.

"The lady has an excellent eye," The merchant quickly said, swooping down on a potential buyer like a vulture. "These are my latest design, inspired by the current trend in Orlais. Very popular, I only have a few left in stock."

Solas hummed thoughtfully. "They are pretty, and the stone seems of good quality. Though I must say they are somewhat outside your usually taste Evelyn."

I had a moment of pause wondering just how the elven apostate knew a good quality stone from a poor one before shaking the errand thought from my head. It wasn't important, these would do perfectly.

"That's because they're not for me, they're for Madame Vivienne." I said distracted as I fished the appropriate amount of coin from the little leather pouch tied to my belt.

Solas raised a curious eyebrow and looked at me thoughtfully.

"You do realise this is Wintersend Evelyn, not Santinalia," he said kindly. "It's not customary to exchange gifts."

The merchant took my coins with an eager smile and wrapped the fragile items in some frilly white paper before handing them over. I carefully placed them in my bag and folded them in the golden silk scarf I'd purchased for Josephine for extra protection against my other purchases.

"I know that," I replied turning back to the elf slightly embarrassed. "But who knows if I'll even still be here by then. Everyone's been so helpful and supportive here. I've been given so much I don't deserve I just wanted to show how grateful I am for all the help I've received, how thankful I am that I have had the opportunity to meet them. I know it's a little silly, I can never really repay all that's been done for me and few gift from a festival could hardly balance things out. But, well I don't know what else I can do. This is my way of saying thank you."

"Well that does explain why you bought a silver flask and that complicated looking pocket knife. I must admit I was rather surprised by your choice of souvenirs," Solas said with a dry smile.

"The flask is for Blackwall and the pocket knife is for Cullen," I explained brightly, happy to gush about my finds. The flask had an engraving of a griffin on its side while the pocket knife was more like a Swiss army knife, something I though Cullen would find interesting and useful. I'd also bought a pack of hand painted Wicked Grace cards for Varric that supposedly featured half dressed images of Andraste on the back, a bottle of some subtle yet pretty smelling perfume for Cassandra that the seller said was made from a native Nevarran flower, two large bags of mixed boiled lollies for the Chargers to share and small music box for Leliana that played a song called 'Nightingales Eyes'. I already had Bull and Solas's presents picked out I just needed to go back to the stall, preferably when the elf wasn't looking. Which only left something for Sera and something for Harding that I needed to find.

"You are certainly being very generous," Solas gently murmured as I rummaged through my bag and pointed out my gifts to him.

I looked at him uncertainly. "Do you think everyone will like what I got for them? I was concerned the perfume may be a bit too girly for Cassandra... Maybe I should have bought the scented armour polish instead?"

"I'm sure they will all be grateful you even thought of them," Solas reassured. "You put a lot of consideration into these haven't you?"

I shrugged and began to absentmindedly fiddle with a loose strain of wool from my shawl.

"I wanted to get something special for everyone, something they could keep to remember me by... you know?... If I ever do manage to find a way back home."

The Mages face seemed to drop slightly, though the expression was gone so quickly I was certain I'd imagined it.

"And what of me?" He asked walking closer, enough so I had to tilt my head to keep looking him in the eye. "What will I have to remember you by Evelyn?"

I swallowed nervously and clutched my bag close to my chest, feeling heat climbing up my neck and cheeks while my stomach did little flips.

"Not telling," I murmured looking away in embarrassment.

He let out a soft rumble of amusement and a glared petulantly up at the elf.

He was teasing me.

_Asshole, stupidly attractive and wonderful asshole._

I was about to lecture my companion about the importance of not ruining perfectly good surprises when I was stopped by a voice calling out from behind.

"Herald? Lady Herald?"

I stiffened and turned suspiciously, after all hadn't had much luck with the people who'd called out for my attention today. Only this time the person approaching me wasn't a masked Orlessian but a man with chestnut hair and a shaggy beard. He looked vaguely familiar as he drew closer bringing with him a young woman with a wild mane of dark curly hair and whose hand was clasped tightly in his. They were both smiling brightly.

"Um... yes?" I answered carefully, still wary but conscious of Solas reassuring presence at my side.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you," The man said rubbing his neck sheepishly. "My names Kade, we've met before at The Cross Roads, you may not remember me..."

I felt my eyes go big as realisation hit.

"You're the Scout I helped!" I exclaimed excitedly, no longer wary. "The one who had that nasty leg wound, you were afraid your wife wouldn't be happy about the scar."

He laughed ruefully as the woman beside him gave him a pointed look and a playful slap on his upper arm.

"What nonsense have you been telling people?" She chirped angrily though the smile never left her face.

"You must be his better half?" I asked on a laugh. These two were clearly a very close pair, it was very sweet to see.

"My wife Rosie," the scout said proudly, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close to his side and looking at her in adoration. "The love of my life. I may not have made it home to her without the help of you and your companions."

"I'm sure that's not true," I said shaking away his claim. "But it is good to see you have recovered well from the injury. Have you returned for the festival?"

"Actually the Commander was kind enough to give me a few weeks off to come home for a visit, seeing as things are almost under control back at The Cross Roads. We just found out some exciting news and I wanted to spend some time with my Rosie." Kade said his face full of joy.

Rosie looked over to us her face glowing proudly as she explained."I'm pregnant with our first, we've been trying for over a year."

"Congratulations!" I gushed honestly overjoyed on their behalf. The two of them looked so perfectly happy and content it made my heart swell.

"Actually I'm glad we ran into you here Lady Herald. We've been having trouble deciding on a names and I was wondering if you would do the honour of helping us," Kade said hopefully.

"Oh! I... er," I looked to Solas helplessly flustered only to have the elf smile pleasantly at my discomfort. "I'm not sure you really want my opinion on baby names."

Hell I'd had trouble deciding what to call my gold fish when I was little, Goldie was hardly the most original choice and things hadn't gotten any better as I'd aged. _I'd named my horse after a space ship for Christ sake!_

"It's because of you my husband even came home to me Lady Herald," Rosie said warmly. "And it's because of you that any of us have any hope for our children's future. I have three cousins and two friends already planning to name their next children in your honour my Lady. While Evelyn is such a nice name I was thinking of something that's not going to be over used in the coming years. We were thinking, well hoping really, that you may let us use one of your parents' names in your honour."

My throat suddenly felt very tight.

"My parents...?" I croaked thickly.

"We've heard they currently rest at the Maker side," Kade said softly. "You have our utmost sympathies for your loss. But I don't doubt they would be very proud of all your doing."

Solas hand landed softly on my shoulder in support while I fought to keep everything together.

_Don't do it Evie, don't you dare! You've done enough crying in public today._

"Heather," I said thickly. "My mum's name is Heather, my dad is... was David."

"Ooooh Heather!" Rosie gasped her hands going to her stomach as she began to coo. "My baby girl is a Heather, I know it!"

"Now pumpkin you know it could be a boy, a strong name like David would be good for my son."

"I told you she's going to be a girl, a mother knows these things..."

Solas leaned down to speak quietly in my ear as I watched to two begin to bicker happily about the sex of their child.

"Are you ok Evelyn?"

I nodded sharply mouth set into a determined line and stepped towards the pregnant lady. When she looked up her eyes were shining.

"Thank you," she said softly.

And she meant it, she wasn't saying thank you to be polite she was genuinely grateful that I'd given her my parents names and given my blessing to hand them down to her child. Like I'd given her the greatest gift in the world. I watched as she looked to her husband with joy and he seemed to share her enthusiasm, his own hand going to her stomach and fingers tangling with hers in a gesture both tender and intimate. They were in love, they were starting their family. Even in such a chaotic time they had each other...

My chest twisted with sudden longing and I tangled my fingers nervously in the hem of my top as I forced myself to spit out my own request.

"Can I..? I mean... Would you mind if I hugged you?" I asked hopefully.

Rosie blinked and looked to her husband in bewilderment.

"No, I don't mind. Though it is rather- oh!"

I cut her off by carefully throwing myself at the soon to be mum and given her a gentle squeeze my face almost buried in her thick hair as I held her there for the briefest moment.

"You don't need to thank me," I murmured tightly. "I should be thanking you, for reminding why we're doing this. People like you and your husband, your happiness and your future... your baby. You give me reason to keep going. So thank you."

When I pulled back she was the one with tears running down her cheeks and was staring at me in surprise.

I laughed shakily and smiled brightly at the two of them.

"I wish all three of you the utmost happiness and hope your family are as happy as mine were. Keep them both safe and loved Kade."

Feeling my control slowly start to slip I nodded my head in a brief farewell then turned quickly about, taking hold of Solas's sleave as I did and dragging him in my wake, leaving the very confused couple to stare after us. I picked a random direction and ended up cutting an unwavering path towards the lake, only coming to a stop when I found an out cropping of rocks that I could hide behind out of sight. I closed my eyes and took a few great shuddering breaths that seemed to shake by whole body.

_Don't do it. Push it down, swallow it! You have no reason to be upset!_

Then a pair of gentle hands cupped my face and I could feel a thumb slide across the swell of my cheek gathering wetness. I looked up at Solas's concerned face through bleary eyes.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," the Mage said softly still caressing my face.

"I'm such a mess!"

"You've had a hard day."

"Why does it hurt so much...?" I sobbed suddenly, clutching tightly at the shirt material over my heart.

Solas drew me quickly into his chest and held me there while I buried my face in his vest. I gasped out a few broken sobs while he began to make soft shushing motions, one of his hands coming up to stroke the back of my head.

"I don't know why I'm so uh- upset," I hiccupped pathetically. "They were so nice, I'm h-happy for them. I am."

"I know," he murmured soothingly.

"It's good that I can help people like them. I should be pleased. It's all worth it if I can h-help people like them right? Everything I've been through, everything I've seen. All the deaths, the fear, the pain, the humiliation... du Rouche.... it's all worth it right?"

I didn't know where the words falling from my mouth were coming from but it didn't matter, I couldn't seem to stop.

"We fight for the people who can't fight for themselves, and sometimes we have to suffer so that they know peace. It's not easy dalen and very few people can manage this kind of burden. But you are strong, I've seen it. You can get through it."

"I don't feel strong," I cried softly. "I'm always stuffing up. I'm always frigging crying! And I'm lying to all of them. They think so much of me and they shouldn't. I can't even keep myself safe how am I supposed to save them? I'm going to let them down I know it! I'm no hero Solas."

"You're not doing this alone Evelyn," the elf reminded me kindly.

"Then why aren't they asking for _your_ mums' name?"

I felt his chest rumble under my cheek.

"Because unlike you I'm not pretty enough to be the Inquisitions poster girl."

I choked on a sudden short burst of laughter that sounded more like a blubber than a giggle at his poor attempt to cheer me up. Surprised that anything could pull even a small amount of humour from me while in such a state.

"Don't be stupid," I sniffed discreetly whipping my eyes and nose on my hand. "You're plenty pretty Solas. And smart, brave, powerful and talented. You just lack the glowing green hand that apparently makes a person worth worshiping."

"No what I lack is your warmth," Solas said tipping my head back until we were staring eye to eye. "And your consistent selfless, self sacrificing nature. Despite all my attempts to deter it. You see this world so differently from the rest of us. While we all see various sides of old and new conflicts you refuse to see an enemy even when they are three feet in front of you. You are extraordinary in every sense of the word. You may not see it Evelyn but I do, and so do the people of this world. They would not hold you in such high esteem if they didn't. Glowing green hand or not."

I turned my eyes down timidly. They were some very pretty words and I appreciated the effort Solas was going to in order to make me feel better but they didn't ring true. I was revered as Herald because of some convenient rumour that had been spun to our advantage. Not because I actually deserved it. I was still a fraud. Despite all I'd seen and learnt here in Thedas I was still a silly lost girl struggling out of my depth. Today proved that more than anything. As much as I wanted to forget the whole event even I couldn't ignore the truth forever much as I'd like to. If it wasn't for Harding and Lelianas information I could have destroyed everything. I had no idea what I was doing.

_I wasn't cut out for this._

I didn't deserve Kade and Rosies reverence.

_How was it that all my good intentions managed to get so twisted_?

"I never wanted this," I murmured absentmindedly. "I never wanted any of this."

Solas hand came to cup my cheek yet again as he gazed sadly down at my blotchy tear stained face.

"I know and I'm so sorry the burden of bearing this mark has fallen to you. I wish there was a way I could make this easier for you."

I could feel the tears welling again at the Mages kindness. Instead of turning away I just leaned back into his chest and closed my eyes letting them fall silently and willing him to just wrap me in his arms again. At the moment I wasn't the Herald. I wasn't just some chess piece to be brought out and used to defeat the Inquisitions problems. Beneath all the armour, the lessons, training and ridiculous title I was a person and I wanted to be held. I needed to know I wasn't alone here, that somebody cared for _me_... Not just the Herald of Andraste.

And he was here. He seemed to understand and care. Maybe he was only worried about me because I bore the mark. But I didn't care; I could pretend for awhile that Solas felt more for me than duty to protect the key to closing The Breach.

Because the people I would normally turn to for comfort and advice were not here.

"You're already doing enough," I said softly. "Just... just don't let go for a moment. Please..."

Solas was quick to oblige and soon I was again pressed against his shirt while he held me tight, one hand on the back of my head keeping me anchored to him while the other rubbed small circles at the base of my neck with his thumb. All the while I desperately tried to forget what it was I was really missing.

"That man was right you know," Solas eventually said into my hair. "They would be proud of you."

And there it was. I shouldn't have been surprised really. The elf already knew me so well, of course he would figure out what was really on my mind. What had been slowly chewing away at my resolve since this mornings conversation with Josephine and bought back to the front of my conscious mind after seeing the soon to be parents and the beginnings of their loving family.

I sniffed and breathed out shakily, feeling my lip trembled as I did.

"I miss them so much," I admitted into his chest.

"I know," he said holding me tighter.

_How pathetic?_ I thought dully _. I'm a grown woman being held by the handsome man I like, I should be ecstatic._

Yet at that moment, after everything that had happened today, all I wanted from the bottom of my heart...

.... Was my mum and dad.

 

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Twenty minutes later I finally felt as if I'd gotten myself back under some semblance of control. The tears had stopped and I didn't feel as overwhelmed by everything like I had a half hour ago. I suppose this breakdown was a long time in the making, I had so much grief and fear and pain slowly building up inside that an explosion of some kind was to be expected. My problems and insecurities were still there of course, but it's funny how sometimes all you need to unwind is a good cry. I just felt mortified that Solas was yet again the one to see me at my worst. Naturally the Mage brushed off the whole scene like it was nothing and left to find us something to drink, giving me a chance to fix myself up and rebuild some inner walls.

Yes, I missed my family. Almost to the point where it caused a physical ache to think about it. And it was only natural that after an attempted blackmailing and near assault that I would want to seek out the comfort and protection of the two people I could always reply on. But they weren't here. I had to accept that. My position and title as Herald was far from ideal but what choice did I really have but to continue the farce.

I didn't like it but this was what needed to be done for the Inquisition to succeed, in order to save this world and myself this was the part I had to play. Whether or not I was capable of playing that role or even worthy of it didn't matter, I still had to do it.

_Come on Evie, stop being weak and grow a pair!_

By the time Solas returned with two wooden chalices filled with some sweet pink coloured fruit juice I was back to my usual embarrassed and flustered self. Shyly taking the offered cup and taking a too deep sip and promptly choking and spluttering on it.

"Sorry," I coughed and dabbed at my chin with my sleeve.

"As long as you're alright," Solas replied calmly barely glancing my way.

"And for before as well," I added quietly not able to look at him as I spoke. "I'm sorry I unloaded on you like that..."

"As I said, as long as you're alright Evelyn." He said again more firmly, "You know I'm here for you, whatever you need."

I flushed and nodded in gratitude.

"I know. Thank you Solas." I looked up at the elf earnestly. "It's the same for me too you know. I mean, if you ever need anyone or anything... I'm here for you too."

He smiled crookedly.

"Are you offering a shoulder for me to cry on Evelyn."

I frowned at the almost teasing tone, I was being serious after all and stuff like this wasn't easy to say out right.

"Yes, friendship goes both ways Solas. I can't be the only one needing support every now and then."

The smile softened almost looking sad and he reached out to brush the side of my neck with the ends of his fingers making my pulse race.

"You already do more for me than you could ever realise."

My brow furrowed further this time in confusion.

_What did he mean by that? All I ever seemed to do for the Mage was give him trouble._

"Do you feel up to going back?" Solas asked mildly. "There is still an hour or so until everyone starts preparing for the evening meals and performances."

I nodded and skulled downed the rest of my drink.

"As long as you're not sick of me," I said only half kidding, sure that after such an embarrassing display any man would be running away screaming. "I'll try not to cause more problems or have a melt down again."

"Sick of you? Hardly," he scoffed and placed a gentle hand on the smalls of my back and began leading me back towards the stalls. "I enjoy your company to much too ever be sick of you."

I looked away, my blush creeping up to my hair line.

"Sweet talker," I mumbled under my breath, smiling timidly down at my boots.

On our way back I noticed another figure making its way across the mostly empty landscape, red top and bright yellow checked leggings contrasting brightly against the dull snowy background. She seemed to be carrying a small sack in her hands. I halted my movements, causing Solas to look back at me with a questioning look.

"Sera?"

The figure looked up at my call and froze, a scowl gracing her round features when she realised who it was addressing her.

_Yep it was her alright_.

And the archer was clearly mad, her mouth twisted into tight pout and eyes hard. Never the less she began to stalk towards us, arms crossed in front of her narrow chest.

"Oh, it's you." She said sullenly cutting her eyes to Solas before glaring back my way. "I see you lost your new nobby boyfriend or is he coming back so you can lick his boots some more?"

"Uh.. yeah," I replied awkwardly, shuffling my feet in the sludgy snow. "He wasn't my boyfriend. And I doubt he's going to want to be spending much time with me after I kind of broke his nose."

Sera laughed bitterly. "What'd ya do? Mistake his face for his arse when you tried to kiss it and balls things up."

"Not exactly..."

"Unless you consider punching someone in the face and knocking them down a flight of steps to be an attempt to gain favour," Solas interjected coolly. "It was a rather impressive hit actually."

"Pfft! As if," Sera scoffed doubtfully.

When Solas continued to look at her evenly and I gave her a small almost proud smile the elf girl blinked in surprise.

"Wha' really?" She said scrutinising my face for any signs of a lie. "You? Punched a Nob?"

"Yep," I held up the offending hand as proof. The cuts had been healed but Solas had strapped my right hand in bandages for the night believing I'd strained it slightly and wanted to keep it from further damage. "His nose went everywhere."

"I'm surprised you didn't hear about it, the story has surely spread about Haven by now," Solas said looking at the other elf curiously.

"Yeah well I got bored didn't I," She said defensively and shooting an accusing glance my way, I felt a sudden fresh wave of guilt and shame for pretty much ditching her at the beginning of this wretched day. "I left the stupid festival and went looking for these."

Both Solas and I turned our attention to the small sack in the elfs hands, the bottom of it was dark with dampness and it was rumpled and dirty. Sera hands also looked to be just as sullied and were caked in mud.

"Do I want to know what you have in there?" Solas sighed wearily, frown already in place at the potential answer.

"Worms! Dug'em up myself." She answered smugly.

"Why did you go hunting for....oh! Right..." I trailed of stupidly and bit my lip.

I suspect those worms may have been destined for my bed sheets or clothes draw.

_Well I did sort of deserve it._

Sera turned her big elven eyes my way and shifted the sack about nervously.

"Did you really hit him?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I did."

"Why?"

My eyes flicked unconsciously to the ends of her pointed ears and a small wave of residual anger seemed to wash over me.

"He said some things I didn't agree with," I answered darkly.

Sera was smart enough to know that wasn't the whole truth but she didn't pry, just raised a disbelieving eyebrow and looked at Solas to see if he would expand on things. When he didn't she shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

"Fair enough, I suppose..."

"Yeah..."

"So....?" the other girl said slowly.

"So..." I echoed lamely. Not sure what to say, after all she had every right to be mad at me.

For a moment we all stood there, silently. Sera rocking back on her heels clutching her bag of worms while I shuffled my feet shyly, unable to look my friend in the face. Solas stood back and observed the uncomfortable scene before him, small smile of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth.

_Well this was awkward_.

I sighed heavily and looked up at Sera.

"I'm so sorry Sera. I didn't want to spend the day with that man but.... It doesn't matter. I just shouldn't have gone with him. I should have just run after you earlier. I'm sorry."

"So ya should be, I've warned you about Nobs before. You should have listened to me." She groused before looking at me with a wry grin. "I guess you look it though. And you put him in his place right? He fell down the stairs too..."

I grinned somewhat impishly.

"He certainly did. Ass over tea kettle," I chortled.

"Hehehe... tea kettle. Nice." She laughed.

I giggled too, happy to see the other girl laughing with me again. I hated having friends mad at me.

"So... are we ok?" I asked hesitantly.

"Almost," Sera replied face going serious but her eyes looked more hopeful than anything else. "You were supposed to keep me company today but you didn't. I reckon that means you owe me so many tarts."

I couldn't stop my smile of relief.

"I think I could do that, Oh! Wait." I looked back to Solas feeling torn. I knew he and Sera didn't really get along and didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, particularly after all he'd done for me today.

He smiled kindly down at me, somehow able to read my concerns without me having to voice them.

"Don't worry Evelyn, you are in high demand it seems. And I've taken up plenty of your time already."

"But I was the one who asked you to join me, if anything I took up your time." I argued.

"Never the less you should go and enjoy the rest of the festival with Sera. That was what you had planned at the beginning of today yes?"

I bit down and worried my bottom lip. Yes I had planned to spend the day with Sera originally but I'd _really_ enjoyed my time with Solas _. Really enjoyed_. Apart from the crying bit of course. I wasn't sure that I wanted to end our day together just yet, particularly after such a pitiful moment.

"But what about-"

"Don't worry about His Elfyness," Sera interrupted quickly linking a scrawny arm with mine and pulling me to her side. "He'll probably go and do something elfy, right? Besides you owe me now."

I sent the Mage a concerned glance, "Are you sure Solas, you can join us-"

"No he can't. He's had his turn now it's mine. You can't be a Herald Hog Solas." Sera said, pulling me tighter to her side and sticking her tongue out at the other elf.

"Sera-!"

"It's quiet alright Evelyn, I would hate for Sera to throw a tantrum-"

"Oh, go twang your ears!"

"- like the child she is." The Mage continued coolly, ignoring Seras' insult and smiling affectionately at me. "There are some things I wish to attend to in any case. But I will catch up with you later if you'd like."

"Of course I'd lo-"

"Yeah yeah whatever," Sera interrupted and began tugging my arm and dragging me with her toward the festival. "Stop mooning over each other already, I want a tart! See you later Droopy Ears."

_Omigod she did not just say that! Forget wanting her forgiveness! I was going to kill her!_

Flushing with embarrassment I sent Solas my most apologetic look as I was slowly dragged away by the other elf, to his credit the Fade expert seemed to look only mildly annoyed at the younger elfs antics. Taking a page from the Mages book I forced down my own annoyance at my newest escort. Sera was just being Sera, I couldn't change her even if I wanted to. I was just thankful she'd forgiven me so easily, I'd been expecting more resistance than this.

As we drew closer to the festival Sera tied her bag of worms to her belt so to free her hands and wipe them down on her leggings, oblivious to the stains she was now creating. I eyed the sack cautiously.

"For future reference Sera, I'm not all that bothered by worms." I offered truthfully.

"Who said they were for you?" the elf replied defensively.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at her knowingly.

"Ok fine they were for you," she relented. "You deserved them for picking the Nob, but I'll let it slide this time seeing as you learnt your lesson. I picked you as the squirmy type, guess I was wrong."

"I don't mind slugs or snails either, slimy things aren't that gross. Honestly I would have been more annoyed by the dirt they'd carry in. Grittiness in my sheets.... euw."

"Good to know for next time," Sera said thoughtfully. "Seems kind of a waste though, maybe I can sneak them into Vivy's bed."

"I wouldn't," I warned her seriously. "Madame Vivienne is just as likely to use her magic and give them legs before sending them back your way."

The archer shuddered.

"Point taken, there has to be someone here who needs a good worming though." She cut her eyes back up to me, suddenly deadly serious and hard. "Any ideas?"

"Uh..." I floundered, taken aback by her sudden change.

"See I've seen you fighting right? And you don't even like to hit the people who try and hit you. It don't make sense you hit some guy just coz he _said_ some stuff you _'didn't agree with.'_ That's not really you is it?"

"Sera..." I started hesitantly, unsure what to say.

"You don't have to tell me everything," she quickly added. "I get it, I don't need details. Men are assholes, well some are. And I've seen bruises like those before. Payback doesn't have to be all fists and blood you know, humiliation is good too. I can help... If you want."

I was taken aback, though I really shouldn't have been. Sera hadn't been very forth coming about her past and where she had come from but it was obvious to anyone that she hadn't had the most family friendly childhood. Despite the jokes and playful attitude the rogue had lived a hard life and had seen more cruelty than most. There was a reason Sera fought so hard for the little people, abused and down trodden by aristocracy, she knew first hand what it was like to be one.

"It's okay Sera. Those bruises are about as far as he got. It was mostly words, so I'll be ok."

"Words can hurt too," she said seriously. "But I'm glad it didn't go worse. Want me to go and get Bull and Blackwall to rough him up for you. They'd be happy to."

"Thanks but it's not necessary, Cullen has him in custardy. I'm sure he'll get what's coming to him."

Sera shrugged. "If you say so. Still... a wormy bed or boots wouldn't go astray right?"

I laughed. "No I don't suppose it would. Maybe later tonight we can hunt down du Rouches room and leave him gift. But before that I really need to pick up some things before these stalls close and I believe I owe you some pastries."

"Well hurry up then," Sera crowed excitedly. "I want my tarts!"

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

My time with Sera was as different from my brief outing with Solas as day was to night yet just as enjoyable in its own way. Where Solas was reserved and calm she was loud and excitable and apparently insatiable given how many different food booths she dragged me to. Not that I was any better really, by the time I made it back to the young elfs stall that sold the wooden carvings my finger were sticky from all the gooey treats I'd munched on and I felt like I should be able to roll down the aisles like a bowling ball I'd eaten so much.

The young elf girl spotted me right away as I approached and quickly ducked out of sight behind her table before reappearing with two small wrapped bundles and the biggest grin I'd ever seen on a kid that small. I couldn't help but return it.

"Hello again," I greeted while Sera began looking through what was left of their merchandise. It looked like business had been good for the two elves over the afternoon, there were only a few carvings left.

"You came back!" She exclaimed excitedly and placed the two bundles on the bench.

"Well I said I would didn't I," I laughed and started bringing out several gold coins. "Thank you for setting these aside for me."

The little girl leaned forward across the table and whispered loudly, eyes big and eager. "I heard you beat up that man from earlier. People are saying you challenged him to a duel and you defeated him one handed. Someone even said you cut his nose off! Is it true?"

I stared both horrified and impressed by Havens ability to spread rumours. Sera snorted at my side and I sent her a silencing look.

"That's not really what happened," I said nervously watching as her face fell slightly. "He was a nasty person who said some cruel things and I lost my temper. I only hit him once but he fell down some steps. And he certainly had a nose left last I saw, though admittedly it was a little ... smushed."

"Was it because of me?" she asked anxiously.

"No Honey, it was his fault not yours."

"Oh..." she actually looked a little disappointed.

"Would it make you feel better if I told you that this lady and I are going to put worms in his boots as revenge for what he said to you."

She brightened immediately eyes glittering with mischief.

"Can I help?"

I looked up to her father who had been silently watching the exchange and was now glaring reproachfully at his daughter, lips pursed.

"Ah, not this time, wouldn't want you to get into trouble," I said quickly, sending her father an apologetic look for being a bad influence on his impressionably young girl. "Probably best to leave this one to us."

She pouted, I couldn't help but smile.

_Kids were cute._

I packed away the carvings with care and looked back at the girl for one last smile.

"Thank you for these, they really are beautiful. I'll bet in a few years I'll be seeing your work in the fanciest shops in Orlais, if you wanted that is. It would certainly prove that Noble wrong."

The girl smiled shyly as I waved farewell and nodded thanks to her father.

"What was that about?" Sera asked already leading the way towards a stall that sold roasted nuts and candied fruits.

"du Rouche was an asshole to that girl, damaged her carvings and pretty much tried to humiliate her in front of everyone. When I attempted to confront him about his behaviour, uh well, things went downhill from there. I wasn't very good at standing up to him for her to be honest." I explained.

"Least you tried," Sera offered. "Not many people do that."

"You do, all the time," I pointed out. "You and the Red Jennies are practically fearless doing what you do."

The archer grinned widely. "We are pretty awesome aren't we?"

We carried on talking comfortably about ridiculous things and plotting new ways the make Cullen blush. Sera helped me pick out a bottle of dwarven ale for Harding as a present and encouraged me to buy a set of twelve small glass vials from an alchemist stall for herself. The little old lady behind the counter had bragged that they were the most powerful and foul stink grenades she'd ever created. I was sure gifting them to Sera was going to get me a few angry stares from some of the others but I was 90% sure she would use them for good.

_... ok maybe 55% sure if I was being honest with myself._

It made the elf happy though and it made me feel a bit better about abandoning her earlier.

As we walked and chatted the sun gradually sunk behind the horizon and night began to fall. Tall burning torches were set up for light as stalls selling items and merchandise began to pack up and vacate the area. They were quickly replaced by small rustic games, betting and card tables, dancing circles, roaring fire pits and lots and lots of places to get various kinds of drink or food.

Things began to get a bit louder and more boisterous as various people bought out instruments and began to play while others began to sing, dance or just talk loudly with comrades around the fire. Even the visiting Nobles from the Chantry began to seep into the common crowed and mingle. I suspected from the way many were weaving and giggling about their sudden emergence may be due to the wine having run out at their own soirée.

I was approached by many of them, most wanting to talk about my incident with du Rouche and to offer their _'genuine appal'_ at his disgraceful behaviour while getting the gossip first hand on what had actually happened in order to pass it on and use it to their own benefit. There were a handful of guests that did actually seem honestly apologetic and angry on my behalf such as the nice Bann Turney who'd offered me sweets earlier. The old man had spotted me from across the yard and had come right up and given me a hard thump on the back that would have made even The Iron Bull wince, declaring loudly that he'd support anybody willing to punch a Orlessian Duke in the face before proceeding to force Sera and I into accepting a handful of candied dates each (I gave mine to Sera, the sight of more sweets making me feel queasy). Of course Vivienne and Josephine were also about, escorting small packs of esteemed visitors and playing the role of perfect hostesses to... well perfection.

Vivienne had been as calm and collected as ever. Surprisingly the enchanter wasn't upset with me over what had happened, in fact she almost seemed... impressed.

"Why would I disapprove?" She's said cheerily when I voiced my concerns at her potential displeasure. "Darling you did well not to let him take advantage. Men like him deserve to be put back into place, though I do wish you'd done it with a bit more class. Punching is a little ... crass wouldn't you agree? Thuggery doesn't suit your image my dear, we will have to work on this."

Poor Josephine on the other hand lost her composure for a moment when she saw the marks on my neck, looking close to tears as she hugged me tightly and apologised profusely for not warning me of du Rouches history. The thought that the creep would try and target me had never even crossed the ambassador's mind and she was clearly blaming herself for today's debacle.

"I left him off the invitation on purpose and the Duke of Salmont made no mention of his son in the acceptance letter." She said quickly for the fourth time in as many minutes. "Even so we would have looked terrible turning him away, it would have been a stain on the Inquisitions image. But for him to have ... If I'd have known..."

"Calm down Josie, it's ok." I placated calmly. "It wasn't your fault. It all worked out in the end. I'm fine and du Rouche is locked up. It's over."

The ambassadors face suddenly fell and she looked away, biting down hard on her lip Josephine appeared to be almost guilty.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

"You haven't heard then?" she said sadly.

"Heard what?" Sera said suspiciously.

The Antivan women sighed heavily and looked at me with an almost pleading look in her hazel eyes, begging for understanding as I felt dread pool in my stomach.

"He's free isn't he?" I knew I was right the moment the words left my lips from the look on Josephine's face.

"The Inquisition has no authority to hold or trial someone of his status," She explained sadly. "Doing so would damage any ties we have to Orlais and risk causing grievances with Fereldan as well if Orlessian troops crossed the border to engage us. We could potentially be inciting another war between the two countries. The most we could do was banish him from Haven. If we wanted to pursue things further we have the option to petition for a trial in Orlais, however the cost and time needed to pursue that route..."

"Is money that would be better off used for our soldiers." I said softly but firmly.

"I'm so sorry-" the Ambassador began only to have me cut her off quickly.

"Don't be. I understand, really."

"We've made it clear to him and his father that if he sets foot in Haven again all his rights and privileges are forfeit. Cullen has all the men keeping watch in case of his return though I doubt he will do something so foolish. I promise you Herald you are still safe here." She said quickly.

"It's not really me I'm worried about," I said honestly. I knew I was well protected, but if du Rouche was free there was always a chance some other poor women would fall victim to his ways. That wasn't right.

"I have already begun sending out letters," Josephine continued clearly reading my concern. "By tomorrow most of Thedas will be talking about Walter du Rouche and his... habits. Hopefully this notoriety will deter anybody from getting close to the wretched man. If not Leliana has some contacts..."

"I think having him assassinated is a little extreme Josie!"

"I don't know, sounds like the Ass Biscuit deserves a good shifty knife to the back." Sera mumbled.

"No way am I having his dirty rotten life hanging over my conscious!" I said vehemently. "He's not worth it."

"It would be too obvious we would be the responsible party in any case," Josephine added.

It was certainly not the best news to finish of the day with but I decided to put it behind me. I'd spent enough time dwelling on that man. As much as I'd liked to see him punished our hands were tied. I could only hope the rumours we could spread about him would be enough to protect others. The irony of that was not lost on me, considering how this had all started because of du Rouches own threats of spreading rumours.

_Well at least ours were true._

We left the Ambassador to the Nobles and continued on, catching up briefly with a few of the other friendly faces before eventually coming across Varric, Bull and a handful of the Chargers gathered around a large fire pit situated further back and more out of the way than the bigger crowd. There was a cart nearby, laden with several casks. Bull was standing at the edge of the fire light being dared to open one with his horns while Varric held a bundle of large mugs at the ready.

"Boss!" the qunari cheered on our approach holding the large wooden barrel over his head in an almost Donkey Kong like pose. "You're just in time. Krem go get another two tankards for the ladies."

Sera snorted, "Who's he calling ladies?'

"Hold up Tiny," Varric cautioned. "The Herald's not an ale person, remember?"

"Oh right, likes the sweeter stuff. I'm sure I saw a batch of Rivanni Cider being warmed up back at the festival...." The big guy rumbled thoughtfully. "Krem go get some."

"That's not neces-" I began to protest only to be interrupted by Bulls second.

"On it Chief," Krem said brightly, snapping a salute to his captain and inclining his head politely in my direction before jogging back towards the main gathering of people.

"Wait! You don't have to..." I tailed off into a sigh. It was too late, the mercenary was already gone. I looked to the qunari and scowled. "I wasn't planning on drinking tonight Bull, he didn't have to go and get me cider."

"Who doesn't drink on festival days?" Bull replied looking genuinely confused.

"Someone who can't afford to look like an idiot in front of visiting dignitaries," I replied reproachfully.

"Bah! That's not an excuse!" He growled.

"Hurry it up Chief we're getting thirsty," Skinner jeered thickly.

I watched on in curiosity as Bull let out a fierce battle cry and smashed the end of the cask on his left horn, piercing the container and causing ale to drip down the appendages and onto the top of his head. Everyone cheered as Bull laughed boisterously and began pouring out the drink into mugs. I shook my head in disbelief and grinned in amusement.

_Don't see stuff like that happening back home._

Tankards were filled and handed out, Sera taking two for herself and finding a seat on long tree log. I followed and fell down next to her with a weary sigh. It had been a long day and even if I wasn't going to be drinking spending the rest of the night unwinding with these people seemed like an excellent idea.

Everyone settled around the fire pit and Varric began trying to entice people into a game of wicked grace.

"Hang on Varric," I called, deciding it was as good a time as any to bring out the present I got for the dwarf. I rummaged through my bag until I came across the pack and lightly tossed it across to land on his lap."Use these."

The dwarf raise a curious brow and inspected the deck, flicking through the deck with an increasingly lecherous grin.

"Well well, I wouldn't have thought the uh... art work on these was to you taste Herald. Not that I'm judging," He chuckled.

"They're yours you ass," I glowered at the dwarf red faced and embarrassed. "It's a gift."

"Aww Sunshine you shouldn't have."

I shrugged and fished out the bags of candy for the Chargers and Bulls gift.

"I wanted to," I said simply and passed one bag off to Dalish, the other to Stiches for them to share around before walking over to where Bull sat and carefully holding out the wrapped carving of the dragon. "I was tempted to keep this one for myself Bull but I figured you'd appreciate it more."

He ripped open the wrapping with unrestrained glee and held up the carving in the palm of one massive hand. The wooden dragon looked incredibly fragile in comparison to the qunaris' thick digits, those fingers could literally crush bones when needed but I knew The Iron Bull could be just as careful as he could be deadly.

"Ataashi." He rumbled, his one eye alight with joy. Like a kid at Christmas. "Look at that detail!"

"I know right!" I gushed. "Look at the wings, it's so realist- Hey!"

I squeaked in protest as one of Bulls thick arm pulled me to his side and he laid a big wet over exaggerated kiss on my forehead.

"Thanks Boss, you know if you wanted my attention you didn't have to go to such lengths. Flowers would have been fine." He said goofily ignoring my struggles to free myself from his tree trunk of an arm.

"That's not why I- urgh! Let me go you big lug. I can't breathe!" I gasped still struggling uselessly to everyone else's amusement.

"Hey Krem!" Bull yelled signalling the return of his lieutenant. "We got room for another Charger right? When this is over I decided we're taking Evie with us."

"You can't kidnap the Herald of Andraste just because you think she's cute Chief," Krem sighed.

"She could be our mascot!" the qunari said excitedly.

"Forgot it! I'm taking the dragon back!" I cried, finally getting free from the big mans hold and tried swiping at the ornament only to have it held out of reach. "You don't deserve it, you're being mean."

"Nope, it's mine now." Bull grinned evilly. "But if you want to come by my tent you can visit it any time you want."

"You are such a pig!" I shrieked feeling my face heat.

"Stop teasing the Herald Chief." Krem said coming forward and passing me a large mug of some amber coloured drink. "It's not really fair when you cheat and alter the results of a bet."

"What do you mean?" I looked to the Vint in confusion.

"He put his money on Cullen," Krem explained simply.

.....

_The sneaky Bastard!_

"Bull!"

"Damn it Krem! You weren't supposed to let her know."

"That's it, I'm not talking to you again Bull." I declared turning around and walking back towards Sera.

"My offers still stands, you can visit my tent any time Boss," Bull called out, I could practically hear his mangled eyebrows waggle.

I flipped him the bird over my shoulder and sat down haughtily, glaring at him over the top of my newly acquired drink as the qunari and several others shook with laughter at my expense.

Still, it wasn't malicious, and I soon found myself joining in and giggling as Bull began to blow kisses my way. It was affectionate teasing and it somehow made me feel more at ease in such a rambunctious group as Varric began to deal out cards to those nearest him.

I relaxed back onto the log and eyed the large mug for a moment before taking a tentative sip, the cider was warm and had been mixed with some interesting spices that somehow made it taste even sweeter. I still didn't want to get drunk, as much as I trusted the people around me it was still too dangerous to let my guard down completely with so many strangers in the town. But after the rollercoaster of a day I'd had no one could blame for wanting to unwind and relax a _little_.

Surely a few drinks wouldn't hurt.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed even if it wasn't what I promised.  
> The special chapter is up next and I will get it up as soon as I can.


	35. Slurred Words and Unknowing Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sure you are very good at adulting Evelyn, no need to relieve me of my pants."
> 
> Solas did not realise what he was getting into when dealing with Evelyn Treval.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this being so late, the chapter was mostly finished when I last posted but real life has been so crazy hectic.  
> Ok, before you all read this chapter I wanted to say a few things to all those reading this story.  
> It's probably been just over a year since I first started writing More Than A Dream. At first I had no intention of ever showing it to anyone, it was a little guilty pleasure of mine and it took me months to build up the courage to sign up and actually post a story of my own on this site. I've never done something like this before. I have only ever written (or at least began to write) a few of my own original stories as a little bit of a hobby and a way to make my useless day dreams and imaginings into something semi productive even if they will never be seen by anyone other than myself. But usually I have the tendency to either give up on them or have lost interest or motivation to keep going with them. The furthest I've gotten with any of them was a meagre 50 pages on Word.  
> So far the completed and posted chapters of More Than a Dream amount to 418 pages! I know I can't take all the credit for this story as it is a fan fiction and follows the story line, world and characters that other people deserve credit for creating (Praise to Bioware and its writers!!!!) but even so I've put more effort into this than any other story. I currently have more than 460 pages of draft written up plus about 30 pages of a spin off side story I was hoping to do, not to mention the things floating around in my head I have yet to put to paper. This is the most effort and time I've ever put into a story. And I'm loving it.  
> Because of you guys.  
> 4861 hits and 301 kudos and 44 bookmarks may not seem like much compared to many other excellent works on this site but to me it is HUGE! And every comment or Kudos has meant absolute world to me. I love hearing from the people who have read and enjoyed this, it makes all the hours I've sunk into it worth it.  
> So thank you all so so much. Thank you for the support and the patience with my shoddy updating. Thank you for enjoying it!  
> And Thank you for taking a chance on this story and continuing to read up til now! There is still so much more to come and I hope you'll stick around to see what happens to Evie next.  
> This chapter is for you guys. A bit of fun and silliness and sweetness that really serves no other reason than to entertain... apart from a few hints to future plot points that is.  
> Okay enough sappiness, Time for Evie.  
> I hope you enjoy.  
> Love always  
> Bel.

 

## Slurred Words and Unknowing Confessions ##

 

_Solas_

 

Night had fully fallen by the time Solas strolled back into Havens borders, the unassuming elf passing patrols and guests like a breeze. He may not have been trained as a rogue but Solas knew how to be stealthy when it was required, using a small amount of magic to misdirect others attention in order to come and go as he pleased made meeting up with his agents much easier. He didn't need the added suspicion of his peers that regular disappearances would normally cause, particularly when so much distrust was placed upon Mages in this age. It was a blessing that when his absence was noticed most assumed he was out sitting under a tree and travelling the Fade in his dreams.

The information that had been passed on was not promising. While his followers still remained safe and unknown to the world they had yet to find any information on Corypheus's whereabouts and future plans. While he suspected the Tevinter born Darkspawn may be behind this Venatori threat as of yet he had no real proof and no way to warn the Inquisition without revealing himself or his involvement. The bastard had gone silent after the events of the Conclave, likely hiding in a dank corner and licking his wounds because he let an average girl with no strength or magic slip through his fingers carrying the power he'd been so desperate to gain. Solas had hoped Corypheus would perish during his attempt to unlock the orb, after all no one should have been able to survive the aftermath of unleashing the its power. Yet somehow Corypheus had, a mystery he was desperate to find the truth of.

How Evelyn had even managed to find her way to this world and into the middle of such a disaster was another worrisome unknown that neither Solas nor his agents could yet explain. The paths betweens worlds had been sealed long before even the fall of Arlathan, by then very few even knew of the existence of the other realms. Tales of worlds beyond their own were stories and myth that Solas grew up with only to discover later as he joined the ranks of the Evanuris that as with many myths its origins were based on truth. Evie's appearance at this point of time was rather disconcerting, though in some ways it was a most fortunate turn of events. If she hadn't somehow intervened and claimed the Anchor as her own then it would be Corypheus who currently held his power. The thought alone had the ancient elvhens blood aflame.

It would have been his own fault too, another miscalculation by Fen'Harel that lead to disaster.

The girls' emergence should be considered very opportune in that respect, though that did nothing to quell Solas rising guilt whenever he thought of the Herald of Andraste. Her pained words echoing repeatedly through his head even hours after their parting.

_"I never wanted this......I never wanted any of this."_

Solas winced and clenched his fist in frustration.

 _I never wanted this either_ , he thought sadly to himself.

It had been easier at first, staying by her side to keep her safe and discreetly steer the girl towards his own goal, he had no choice after all. It was the only way he could think of to fix this mess and she was just one more person caught up in the fray that would need to play a part in his plans, whether willing or not. There was also the possibility Corypheus would come after Evelyn and attempt to retrieve the Anchor himself which would give Solas the chance to confront the Magister in person, recover his orb and end things quickly. Logically this was the best course of action. And it wasn't as if it was personal, he was after all deceiving everyone not just Evelyn. But then he began to get to know her, and get close to her... grow found of her.

And now... Now she was suffering because of him, because of his choices. What made the whole thing worse was that Evelyn trusted him, enough so that she took comfort in his presence. Him, the Dread Wolf with the legacy as the god of betrayal and trickery, the irony of the whole situation was sickening. She had no idea that one of her most trusted companions was the cause of this disaster, the cause of her misery.

And Evelyn could _never_ know. For this all to succeed Solas needed her trust.

He truly was a disgraceful creature. If he'd had any kind of decency left by all rights he would leave the poor women alone, distance himself from her and watch from the sidelines as he'd first intended. Getting more involved would only lead to pain.

Even so Solas couldn't help but seek out the Herald among the revelling villagers and visitors, telling himself it was out of concern for the humans well being after such a distressing day and not from the his own selfish desires to spend time in her presence.

It wasn't too hard to track her down, knowing the young woman as he did Solas could predict that she would have sought out a place away from prying eyes to relax but would have been easily drawn into a gathering of particular people in which to spend the evening's festivities. He was please to find he was correct in his assumptions when discovering her sitting around a large fire further towards the lake and away from the larger crowds with Varric, Blackwall, Sera, The Iron Bull and most of his mercenary team.

As he approached Solas could hear murmured conversations and outbursts of loud fervent laughter. The elf easily picking out Evies cheery giggle amongst the others, the sound making him feel relieved and lighter to know she seemed happy even after the traumatic events of the day.

"Ok ok, my turn right?" Evelyn was saying, her words quick and excited. "I spy with my little eye... something beginning wiiith... SOLAS!"

The Fade expert was taken aback by the sudden enthusiastic and loud greeting as he came into Heralds view. It wasn't unusual that she would be happy to see him, but normally the girl was a bit more reserved in her joy.

"You Ding Bat!" Sera cackled from her place by the Heralds feet. The other elf currently sprawled on her back and looking up at the stars with several empty mugs and bottles littering the ground around her. "You're supposed to tell us the first letter not the whole word. You gave it away!"

"Whoopsy," Evie giggled, her cheeks seeming to shine with a permanent rosy glow. Solas began to note the strange brightness to the girls' eyes and the large mug being held tightly in both her hands.

_No, she couldn't possibly be... could she?_

Evelyn smiled alluringly up at the Mage and beckoned him over, patting the space on the log next to her in invitation. Solas found it was a very hard offer to say no to.

"Hi," she said contently as he lowered himself onto the seat.

"Evelyn," he greeted looking her over closely. "You seem to be enjoying yourself."

"Yep!" she answered, putting a lot of emphasis on the 'p'.

There was a guffaw from across the fire.

"Boy is she ever," Varric said trying to reign in his obvious amusement.

He ignored the story teller preferring to study the girl more intently for himself. She was smiling blissfully to herself and swaying gently as if listening to soft music.

"Are you feeling alright Evelyn?"

"No, not _all_ right." She replied grinning goofily. "I'm a little _left_ as well."

And then the Herald fell into fit of peeling laughter. Sera and Bull joined in while most of the other groaned at the terrible pun and shook their heads. Solas looked at the human unsure whether to be concerned or amused.

"How much have you had to drink da'len?" he asked softly.

She thought hard for a moment then held up three fingers, then paused and raised another almost apologetically.

Solas sighed heavily to hide his sudden urge to laugh.

"Not enough!" Sera jeered. "Scull! Scull! Scull!"

Evie obediently took a deep drink and began coughing straight away, Solas reaching over to pat her back and steady the girl. When she thanked him for his help there was no mistaking the slight slur when she pronounced his name.

Oh yes, the Herald of Andraste had definitely had too much to drink. Instead of being annoyed or disappointed as he would normally be by such a lack of control Solas actually found the sight to be rather amusing. It was a new side to the Herald he had yet to see and he couldn't find it in himself to chastise the girl for her indulgence. After all he really had no right to judge.

"You want a pint Solas?" Blackwall ask standing from his own seat to refill his tankard.

The elf thought for a moment before nodding his appreciation to the Grey Warden. It was a mistake, to stay and fall further into the reluctant friendships that were slowly developing amongst the Inquisitions members but Solas discovered he was rather more reluctant to leave than he should be.

It had been awhile since he'd enjoyed a good drink with comrades, though admittedly he preferred wines to ales. Not that he'd always been fussy in his tastes. In his youth he'd spent the majority of his time revelling in his notoriety as a rising power among the Evanuris, overconsumption and indulgences were considered his norm for a very long time and he'd greatly enjoyed that period of his life, at the time at least. He had been young and foolish but he'd been happy, content. That was before the rebellion however, before he became The Dread Wolf. Things became much more serious after that, there was little time to waste on his own whims and pleasures. While he was still The Dread Wolf it seemed he was being gifted with this rare opportunity to relax for a time, though not to the extent he would have in his younger years. That particular sight would be detrimental to the image he was trying to uphold, though it may be worth the lapse of control just to see Sera's reaction...

Blackwall soon returned and handed over a cold tankard of ale for the Mage before going back to his seat. Solas took a large mouth full and savoured the somehow nutty taste of the brew.

_Fereldens made terrible ale._

"Alright Hero, worst place you've ever slept?" Varric called out as soon as the burly man was again seated, clearly continuing an earlier conversation.

Blackwall's heavy brows pulled together in thought as he bought his free hand up to rub at him chin through the thick tangle of his beard. That was when Solas noticed something off about the Wardens appearance.

"Are those braids in your beard Blackwall?" The Mage interrupted curiously, sharp eyes inspecting the uneven and lopsided plaits woven through the dark hair.

Blackwall sighed heavily while Varric let out a delighted chuckle.

"Evie's been trying to practice her hair styling skills." The dwarf offered helpfully picking out a strand of his own hair which had been turned into a small plait and tucked discretely behind his ear.

"Cassandra always makes it look so easy," the Herald sighed reverently at the elfs side. "Her hair just stays and does as it's told. It's sooo pretty."

The Herald's own blonde locks were currently loose and falling about her shoulders and face in a crinkled mess of waves and failed braids that were coming loose. Solas had to admit the human had a point, even the simple plait she often wore while out travelling would often come loose during their journeys and the Herald constantly had to redo her hair to keep it from becoming a problem. She could definitely do with the practice, however the Grey Warden and his thick bushy beard was an odd choice of model. Blackwall didn't seem the type to allow someone to groom him.

The Mage cut his gaze back to the dark haired man and raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"And you let her?"

"Believe me I didn't want to," the Warden spluttered sounding astonished with his eyes wide and almost fearful. "But the girl has this look. I couldn't say no!"

"I learnt it from my horse!" Evelyn declared proudly.

Solas choked on the mouthful of ale he'd just swallowed and struggled not to laugh out loud, coughing into his hand. The Herald patted his back sympathetically.

"Don't worry Solas, it goes down better after awhile. You get used to the bubbles." She said sagely, mistaking his coughing fit for one caused by inexperienced drinking. The elf didn't have the heart to admit it was because he was laughing at her.

"Yeah, keep at it Solas, you'll get the hang of it." The Iron Bull teased taking advantage of the misunderstanding while the Herald nodded along in supportive agreement. "We'll build you up gradually and soon you'll be drinking like one of the big boys."

"Thank you Iron Bull, I appreciate the assistance." the Mage said tightly as the Qunaris eye glittered with mirth and sniggers echoed around the fire pit. As much as Solas would have liked to put the other man in his place he would not rise to such immature goading. No matter how much joy he would gain from proving to The Iron Bull exactly who was the bigger man.

After all nobody could out drink the Dread Wolf... Except maybe Ghilan'nain. The mother of halla had a surprisingly strong constitution for someone so dainty and refined.

Two approaching figures bought Solas's thoughts back from the past as they came into view over Bulls broad shoulders, their armour reflecting the flickering flames of the fire pit. For the briefest moment the Mage readied his power for a potential fight before recognising the new comers and allowing himself to relax once more.

"So this is where you've all been hiding." Commander Cullen said, coming to stand at the edge of the fire light with Cassandra at his side. "I was wondering where you all had disappeared to."

"At least they've stayed out of trouble so far." The Seeker added coolly as she looked about the scene before her with dark suspicious eyes, thin brows and stern face puckering into a disgusted scowl when they landed on where Varric sat with a deck of cards spread in front of him. The dwarf smiling innocently as Cassandras eyes narrowed onto a particular card featuring a depiction of what seemed to be an image of Andraste leaning suggestively against a sword and tangled in winding thorny vines, the occasional blooming red rose doing little to keep the image from being completely indecent.

"It's Cullen and Cassandra!" Evie cheered happily.

The new arrivals stared in surprise at the young women's welcome. Solas decide to sit back and watch things unfurl as Cassandra and Cullen interacted with the drunk Herald. After all it was not his place to intervene and it was rather entertaining to see her act with such inhibition.

"Uh... Good evening," Cullen replied uncertainly, looking to Cassandra for help only to find the Seeker looked just as bewildered.

"I've missed you both. Why weren't you here?" Evie said with a pout before looking suspiciously between the two warriors. "What have yooou twoo been up to?"

"We've been patrolling the village, tedious work but the easiest way to try and avoid interacting with our esteemed guests." Cassandra answered slowly in confusion. Cullen frowning by her side concern evident as his attention turned to the Heralds current condition.

"Are you all right Evie?" He asked suspiciously.

Evelyn smiled mischievously and ignored the Commanders question. "Sure _'patrolling_ '. I believe you...."

Solas suspected she tried to execute a knowing wink at the end of her sentence, only the Herald failed miserable and only managed to do some rather bizarre and over the top blinking.

Creators help him the sight was oddly adorable.

Cassandra stared evenly down at the girl frowning in annoyance. "Are you implying that Cullen and I...?"

"You'd be the ultimate power couple!" Evie burst out excitedly. "We could call you Cullandra... or Casullen."

Varric began to chortle loudly into his drink. Cassandra and Cullen looked to the Herald in sudden understanding and horror as she continued to ramble.

"You're both totally bad ass and ridiculously hot! Like stupidly hot, it's not very fair to be honest. You'd make amazing warrior babies though. And you are really, really.... similar. You both wield swords and both of you are always so serious, like all the time." Evelyn frowned thoughtfully. "Actually on second thought you'd be terrible together. A big ball of stern faces all the time... no fun what so ever. You'll end up hating each other. No, I think you should break up, this is not a healthy relationship for either of you."

Solas tried very hard not to laugh. Instead he coughed discretely into his shoulder and raised his mug to hide his grin.

"Maker, is she drunk?!" Cullen exclaimed aghast, making his way quickly across the small gathering to get a closer look at the giddily smiling woman.

"No," Evelyn said vehemently while Cullen stared expectantly down at her.

"Yes," said everyone else.

"No, I don't get drunk." She said firmly. "Never have been, not properly anyway. I'm reshsponsible, the one who makes sure the drunk people don't do anything... drunk like. I am completely un-drunk. I'm un... un-inpoxicated. See! I can use the big words, and that proves I'm not drunk."

"Uh Sunshine, you just said inpoxicated instead of intoxicated," Varric informed the girl kindly.

"Well... Bugger." she swore softly, then shrugged and took a drink.

Cullen ran a nervously hand through his hair and looked about anxiously. "I can't believe you all let her get into this state."

"Lighten up Cully," Sera said lazily. "Like you've never been sloshed."

"We have some very important and judgemental visitors walking about Haven. We can't let them see the Herald of Andraste this way." Cassandra hissed.

"That's why we're all back here Seeker, completely out of sight from the prying eyes of any social elite." Varric reasoned calmly. "Don't worry. We're looking out for her. She needed to cut loose a little and now she has! The only people she's embarrassing herself in front of are us."

"Aww, thank you Varric." Evie sent a watery smile at the dwarf seeming genuinely touched. "You're so nice to me."

"Aren't I just."

"I love you guys," the Herald declared, choking a little with built up emotion.

"Called it!" Bull crowed suddenly raising both hands in victory and spilling half his drink onto Krems head. "I knew she'd be saying the 'I love you's before midnight. Pay up dwarf!"

"Damn it Evie. You just lost me ten sovereigns! You couldn't hold out for another twenty minutes?"

"Sorry Varric...." the Herald murmured remorsefully.

"I still do not like this," Cassandra said lowly crossing her arms over her chest. "But it seems that it's out of my control."

"Way out of your control," Sera sniggering, Evie nodded in dazed agreement.

Cassandra ignored the elf girl and looked about before seeming to settle on a seat on The Iron Bull's free side and sitting herself down.

"By Andraste's holy underthings, I'd never thought I'd see the day. Seeker, are you actually joining us for a drink?" Varric chuckled in disbelief. "The world must really be ending."

"Yes!" Bull cheered in approval. "Come on Cassandra, loosen that armour a little and have some fun."

Cassandra rolled her eyes but Solas could see the slight twist to her mouth that indicated the women wasn't as opposed to their teasing as she made out to be.

"I'm just staying to make sure all of you stay out of trouble. If I happen to have a drink while I'm here then so be it. But only one!"

"That's what I said too," Evelyn sighed quietly taking another drink.

One of the chargers passed across an unopened bottle over to the Seeker who nodded her thanks. Cullen coughed and shifted restlessly, the only one still standing in the vicinity.

"Well I shall return to my patrol then. Enjoy the rest of your night everyone," the blonde man said already turning to depart.

"You're not going to join us Commander?" Blackwall asked politely.

"I have work to attend to I'm afraid. With so many visitors it's unwise to let our guard down-" Cullen began.

"Come on Curly," Varric wheedled. "You work too much, even Cassandras taking a break!"

"Thank you but really I should be getting back to my duties."

Then Evelyn spoke up, her voice soft and pleading.

"Please Cullen, stay for a bit." She said, reaching out tentatively to grab hold of his sleeve and looking up at the Commander from under her lashes.

At first Cullen seemed to try and stammer out an excuse before his eyes fell to stare at the Herald's hopeful face.

 _Creators no wonder Blackwall couldn't say no to her_ , Solas thought in surprise as he too turned to stare at the Herald.

Evelyn's full bottom lip pouted outwards in unwitting sulk. Her already large eyes seemed to get even bigger and watery, threatening tears like it would be the most heartbreaking thing in the world if Cullen didn't join them.

Solas suddenly felt a rush of intense, unjustified dislike towards the Commander.

The ex templar's resolve seemed to melt, his stern and focused features softening as he sighed heavily.

"Just for a while then," he mumbled in surrender.

"Yay!"

And just like that Evies face lit up with a look of pure joy. She wasted no time in quickly pulling Cullen to sit on her other side, grinning ecstatically the whole time as he stumbled over Seras prone body and sat with a heavy thump.

"Here you can share my drink." She said thrusting the big cup into the blond mans hands. He looked at the liquid inside suspiciously before taking a sniff then a cautious sip. Cullens face immediately twisted into a grimace.

"Maker Evie what are you drinking?"

"Cider," she answered happily.

"This is not cider," the Commander growled.

Evelyn looked confused.

"Really?"

"It's Grey Whisky if I'm not mistaken." Cullen said looking at the mug suspiciously, like it was a prisoner to interrogate.

"It is," Blackwall offered helpfully. "It used to be my cup. Sera stole it off me an hour ago then gave it to the Herald as a gift. She'd only had about three ciders before that, now.... Well you can see for yourself."

"I thought it tasted funny." Evie murmured, scrunching her face up in distaste. "Like bitter and burning... Made my tongue numb."

"You've drunk more than half of it!" Cullen said horrified. "This is really strong stuff, no wonder you're drunk."

"I don't feel it," she sing-songed happily.

Solas didn't doubt that for a moment, the Herald probably couldn't even feel her own nose at this point.

Evelyn reached for the cup in Cullen's hands, clearly intent on having another drink. Solas watched as the Commander eyes widened in fear and quickly pulled the mug away and out of reach just in time to avoid her grasping hands.

"Hey don't hog it, I thought we were sharing?" Evelyn said in unfocused confusion.

"Oh no you don't," Cullen replied firmly. "I think you've had more than enough for one night. I'm cutting you off Evie."

"Boooo!" Sera jeered, still lying at the Herald feet.

"Yeah, what Shera shaid. Boooooo!" Evie slurred trying to stretched over the Commander and attain her contraband drink, only to lose her balance and fall across his lap when he held it further out of reach. Evelyn lay sprawled across his lap for a moment before struggling to twist around to face the man. She glared blearily up at Cullen before her eyes changed focus and she grinned goofily, reaching up a hand to pat the top of Cullens head instead.

"Your hair's so soft!" She gasped, clearly forgetting the drink as she began stroking the former Templar's hair, sitting herself upright on his lap to gain better access and running her long fingers through the thick wavy strains with a dazed smile. "I've always wanted to touch it. Sooo nice."

The elven Mage had an unexpected urge to pull Evelyn away from the other man and onto his own lap, possibly trapping those hands of her under his own and keeping the girl there for the remainder of the night....

He shut down that line of thought very quickly. The woman was merely being overly affectionate given her intoxicated state, nothing more. And even if it was a deliberate attempt at flirting it was not his place to intervene. Evelyn may hold his Anchor but she was not his to control and was entitled to a personal life. It shouldn't matter to him who she decided to touch. By all accounts Cullen was a good man and the inebriated Herald would be safe with him, which was all Solas should want, for her to be safe.

Strangely that logic did nothing to calm Solas's growing annoyance at the pairs close proximity.

Cullen's face went scarlet and his eyes wide. The Commander nervously looked about the small group for some assistance in dealing with the inebriated young women who was blissfully stroking his hair only to find most of them sniggering with amusement at his obvious discomfort. After a few attempts Cullen managed to get a hold of Evies wandering hands and lower them back to her lap and coax her back onto her own seat.

"U-h, um Th-thank you." He stammered with a shy cough.

Evies eyes went big and her mouth formed a surprised little 'o' as she watched his reaction intently. Soon she began bouncing excitedly on her seat, biting her lip to hold back a sudden excited idea.

"Ooooh! Oh Varric what's the score? Who's winning?" She asked the dwarf animatedly. Practically vibrating as she waited for his answer.

"Eight to seventeen, not in your favour Sunshine." Varric replied, obviously knowing exactly what the Herald was inquiring about even if Solas didn't.

"Awww really? I don't want to lose." Evelyn pouted. "I'm going to even things up a bit, going to try something. Can I try something?"

"Sure, knock yourself out." The rogue said off handily but kept his gleeful focus on the two golden haired humans.

 _What was the crafty dwarf up to?_ Solas wondered warily.

Evelyn stood, taking several attempt to do so and wobbling on her feet once she was upright. Both Solas and Cullen watched on intently at either side of the girl, arms out and ready to steady her should she topple over into the fire pit. Evelyn then straightened her shoulders and cleared her throat loudly.

"There once was a woman from Kew," she recited grandly eyes glittering with mirth as she clearly struggled to hold in giggles and stay balanced. "Who filled her vagina with glue..."

There was some scattered sniggering from around the fire pit and a few wolf whistles, Evie waved them off smiling widely. Solas was now positive the girl was beyond merely drunk. The Herald could barely even look at someone's clothed backside without blushing furiously let alone recite crude poetry about genitals.

"She said with a grin if they pay to get in...." she paused dramatically looking about her audience before blurting out the rest of the limerick in a rush."They'll pay to get out of it too!"

 _Mythal give me strength!_ Solas thought, hanging his with a groan as the fire pit erupted in uproar of laughter and cheering. Even Cassandra was struggling to hide a smile beneath her hand across the fire pit.

Cullen was staring mouth agape at the young women as she fell back into her seat giggling proudly. His face a deeper shade of red than his cloak, if he got any hotter Solas was sure the snow around them would start to melt from the intensity.

"That counts as double," Evie declared happily pointing to the stunned Commander. "Coz I didn't, you know... even though I should of. And he did!"

"Yeah, ok Sunshine." Varric wheezed, trying to catch his breath between laughs. "That was totally worth double, triple even."

"What just happened?" Cullen asked completely baffled. "What's going on?"

"Victory!!!" crowed Sera raising her scrawny arms in the air, two half finished bottles in her hands.

"Where did you learn that one?" Bull asked wiping tears of laughter from the corner of his good eye.

"From an anime," Evelyn replied vaguely.

"Who's Ann Anna-May?" Sera asked groggily.

Evie giggled and attempted to hold a single finger up to her lips in a gesture of secrecy, only to miss and hold it against her left eye instead.

"It's a secret; I'm not supposed to say."

Solas's stomach abruptly twisted with nervous worry, his sharp eyes coming up to look around for the more sober Inquisition members who were also aware of Evelyn's true origins. A secret she may be close to exposing. Both Cassandra and Cullen had stiffened in alarm and seemed to be waiting to see if they needed to intervene. Sera rolled onto her stomach and stared intently at the Herald, mouth splitting into an eager grin.

"Not supposed to say what?" the female elf asked. "Are you hiding something from us? Is Ann Anna-May a secret girlfriend or something? I was sure you like man bits from the way you always stare at-"

"I do like man bits," Evelyn replied indignantly interrupting the elf. "Just coz I like man bits doesn't mean I can't love anime. Anime has lots of man bits and romance and funny stuff."

"You fancy a woman who has man bits and teaches you dirty songs!" Sera laughed, gleefully slapping the snowy ground in delight. "She sounds great, can I meet her?"

Evie frowned down at the elf. "You are making no sense Sera. You can't meet a cartoon."

"A what?"

"You know," the Herald sighed in exasperation. "Moving pictures, animation.... cheesy songs.... unrealistic boob physics... Disney..."

"Wha' are you on about?" Sera demanded, her face puckered in confusion.

"What are yooou on about?" Echoed Evelyn as she swayed dangerously on her section of log.

"Andrastes ass! What was in that whisky Blackwall?" Varric interjected cheerfully. "The Herald so drunk she talking nonsense!"

Solas had to admire the dwarfs quick thinking. Varric was well aware that what Evie was speaking about was far from nonsense, the Mage had witnessed the two talking in depth about her home world on several occasions.

"It was just Grey Whisky I swear!" Blackwall said looking anxious and concerned.

"I think it time you went to bed Herald," Cassandra said firmly. Clearly the Seeker had decided it was now too risky for Evelyn to continue as she was lest the other worlder unintentionally said anything else incriminating.

"But I'm not tired," the young woman whined.

"You are drunk," Cassandra contended.

"Your face is drunk," Evelyn jeered.

Sera laughed and sighed, "Good one."

"That makes no sense!" the Seeker replied bewildered.

"Seeker you're arguing with an ' _inpoxicated_ ' person," Varric chimed in wisely. "You can't win when reasoning with a drunkard."

"Not drunk," Evie responded resolutely and pointed a waving finger across the way at the dark haired woman. "She's drunk. Her face is all wobbly like. That's not right.... is there two of you Cassandra?"

"Makers balls! Someone take her to bed before does something really stupid, like run around the camp naked."

"Hey now, don't be a kill joy Blackwall." Bull rumbled looking appalled at the Warden for possibly ruining the fun.

"Too cold to be naked," Evelyn mumbled, wrinkling her nose in distaste and shaking her head.

"It's never too cold to be naked!" The Qunari replied adamantly.

Evies eyes went huge.

"Is that true?" she breathed in wonder edging forward towards the edge of her seat as if to hear more.

"Oh yeah, want to try- ow!" Bull glowered ruefully down at Cassandra who had elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

"No," The Seeker said sternly.

"I was just-"

"No!"

Cassandras expression was severe and unyielding as she stared down the massive grey skinned man. The Qunari sighed heavily and his shoulders hunched in defeat.

"You're no fun either Seeker," He mumbled dejected.

"I'm not here to be 'fun'," She replied before turning her attention back to the where the Herald sat watching the exchange in confusion. "Evelyn you should get to your cabin and rest. Before someone else suggest something stupid for you to do."

"Like what?" Evie asked excitedly.

"Skinny dip in the lake?" Sera suggested.

"I loooove swimming!" Evie exclaimed.

"Andraste help us," Cassandra groaned running a frustrated hand down her face.

Solas shook his head and sighed, it was clearly time to intervene.

"I'll escort her." He offered, finishing his drink in a few quick but dignified mouthfuls before rising gracefully from his seat and stretching out his back in a display or weariness. "I need to retire myself in any case."

Cassandra bowed her head in thanks towards the elf, probably grateful someone in the vicinity still held some semblance or reason, Cullen it seemed was still recovering from the Heralds impromptu performance.

"Fiiiine," Evelyn sighed in resignation and stood to waver at the elfs side, hoisting her bag strap over her head and shoulder as she did. "But someone should take Cassandra to bed too, coz of the wooobles... Just saying."

Several people chortled loudly at the comment. Cassandra scowled.

"I'd be happy to volunteer," Bull offered with a suggestive smirk at the dark haired woman.

"No," she said flatly ignoring the Qunari.

Bull shrugged undeterred.

"Worth a try."

"Off your game tonight chief."

"Shield drills for you at dawn Krem." Bull said casually talking a long pull from his mug.

"Fuuuck" the lieutenant groaned while the rest of the Chargers began to laugh and rib their comrade good naturedly.

Solas placed a guiding hand on the Heralds back and helped lead her out of the fire pits warm circle, careful to make sure she didn't stumble over limbs or bottles and fall in the process. Evelyn stopped to say goodbyes to everybody by name as they left and turned around several times trying to get her drink back from the Commander. She refused to go until she had the mug securely grasps in her hand and a ridiculously content smile on her face as she sipped the whisky like it was juice. Letting the girl finish the beverage was hardly the wise thing to do but it could scarcely do her any more damage on the short walk back to her quarters. And if Solas was honest the Mage found he couldn't bring himself to take the mug off her, least she turn that potent look on him as well and he ended up looking as weak willed as Blackwall had or worse... she cried again because of him. Once for one day was more than enough.

As it turned out the usually short trip took twice as long as it would normally. In her inebriated state walking in a straight line was currently beyond Evelyns capabilities, she weaved and stumbled along the churned path requiring constant redirection and was easily distracted by pretty much everything and anyone who passed them, wanting to great every stranger or join in every game. Keeping her focussed was quite the test of the elfs patience.

"Ooooo Look! Dancing Solas!" She breathed as they passed a large group of revellers spinning and twirling to the music of a small but jovial troupe. Evelyn was almost too quick to stop as she began to skip forward and join in but Solas managed to get a hold of her hand and gently pull her to a holt. She looked up at him with confusion. "What's wrong? I want to dance, it will be fun."

"That's probably not the best idea da'len," the Elf said tolerantly. "Your current ability to remain balanced leaves much to be desired"

"Soooo....?" The girl stared at him blankly and swayed gently in place.

"How do you expect to dance when you can't even walk straight?"

"Because dancing is not walking straight," She replied simply, looking to the elf as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It's actually kind of the opposite really..."

Solas was taken aback and unable find the right words to argue that comment, she actually had rather a good point.

"Come on Solas." She pleaded with a bright smile, casually tossing her now almost empty mug into a nearby snow drift so she could use both hand to try and pull the Mage towards the dancing. "You'll dance with me right?"

The elf raised an amused eyebrow and stared at the small hole where the mug of grey whiskey had been swallowed up by the snow.

"Normally I'd be honoured to Evelyn but not tonight." He said softy, almost changing his mind when her face fell with disappointment and rejection but reminded himself that this was for Evelyns own good. In this state she was likely to break an ankle, or potentially her partners, if she attempted to join in the dancing. The Herald of Andraste had probably reached her quota of breaking others bones for one day. "I told Cassandra I would take you back to your cabin and Seeker Pentaghast's ire is something I rather wish to avoid. You wouldn't want me to get into trouble would you Evelyn?"

It was a rather low tactic to use but Solas figured it was the best and quickest way to make the girl come with him willingly.

She sighed and looked longingly at the merry dancers before reluctantly shaking her head.

"No, I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

"Thank you Evelyn, I appreciate your kindness," Solas said with relief and began to steer the Herald back in the direction of the town gates.

"You'll dance with me next time though, right?"

She looked so hopeful and exposed when she asked that Solas feared he couldn't deny her anything.

"Of course I will."

"Promise?"

"You have my word," he vowed enjoying the way her face seemed to brighten at his words.

"Good," She said contented. "That's good."

As they continued on through the gates Evelyns mobility seemed to worsen. Several times the girl accidentally bumped and practically fell into Solas side, forcing the elf to hold her up as she giggled and apologised, her hands either grabbing handfuls of his clothes or sliding pleasantly against his chest or shoulders. Solas forced himself not to dwell on the way her soft body felt pressed against him for those brief moments or how his heart beat seemed to stop when Evelyns fingers skimmed lazily down his stomach as she regained her footing, completely oblivious to the internal battle she was causing him.

He was Fen'Harel, last of the Evanuris and the only remaining hope for the restoration of all elven kind. Giving in to such longings was beneath him. Even the notion he could have such inclinations towards a shemlen was beyond preposterous. While human kind was not the true cause of the elves fall from power they certainly did his kind no favours in the aftermath, taking advantage and turning his once proud kin into homeless wanderers, vagabond scavengers and slaves. His people would never stand for it if he was to show romantic interest in a shemlen. He would never stand for it. His treacherous body was probably missing the attentions of his favoured consorts. Fen'Harel had many followers more than willing to help with his physical needs, he was only a man after all, sex and pleasure was just another part of life and it had been a very long time since he'd last felt release at another's hands.

So he pushed those feeling down, thinking perhaps this evening he would seek out the company of one of the few elven members of the Inquisition, or maybe one of the visiting merchants and rid himself of these urges for a time.

They reached the top of the stone steps and Evelyn made a detour over to one of the large mabari statues positioned off to the side. Walking up to the stone beast she patted its head seriously.

"Good boy," the Herald slurred. "You're doing a good job watching over everyone."

Solas sighed.

"Come along Evelyn, surely you must be tired."

"You know Solas," Evelyn said as she turned back to the elf. "I was always told you can tell a lot about someone by how they treat their dogs."

"Is that so?" He said distracted as he took hold of her hand in a vain attempt to stop her wandering off again.

"Fereldeners must be really good people then, because they _really_ like their dogs. They even make statues of them!" she reasoned.

"I'm not sure you can assume that of all Fereldens," Solas chuckled. The Mage couldn't help but be charmed by her rather sweet thought process.

"I'm not sure how I feel about Orlessians though." She continued scowling angrily. "I don't like their... manip.... manoop.... manipulation..us.... I don't like how sneaky they are. Well some of them, Leliana is sneaky and Orlessian but I still like her even though she's scary. My mind is weird."

"Very," Solas agreed dryly.

"You know what else Solas?" Evelyn asked.

"What Evelyn?"

"Cullens' hair is soo soft!" she exclaimed suddenly, staring down at her hand in apparent shook at the memory or the Commander's hair.

The Mage no longer felt any delight in where the Heralds train of thought was taking them.

"So you've said," Solas replied barely hiding his annoyance.

"But you don't have hair." Evie said sadly looking up at him with big watery eyes full of disappointment. "Why? Why do you shave your head Solas?"

"Who says I shave, maybe it is as Sera claims and I've gone bald." He teased wanting to see her reaction.

The Herald frowned thoughtfully.

"No, you're not that old. Plus I heard Varric say elves don't lose their hair... though he could have been lying. He's a sneaky dwarf. And you don't care about fashion or style so you chopped it all off for a reason."

She gasped suddenly and stopped them dead looking up with something akin to horror and pity.

"Was it because you're ashamed of your hair? Is that why you shaved it? Are you a ginger?!"

Solas choked on his own response in surprise at how the young women had come to such a ridiculous theory.

"Excuse me?"

"You shouldn't be embarrassed." Evie continued earnestly. "Gingers are people too. And can be really pretty. Look at Leliana, her hair's pretty. And Flissa. There are some very attractive gingers out there. Amy Ponds hair was nice too, though they're all girls. I suppose it might be different for guys. But Hermione obviously found Ron attractive and he's the king of all gingers.... Emma Watson's a total babe too so that counts for something right?"

The elf sighed heavily, he had no idea what the other worlder was talking about in her drunken babble.

"No da'len I do not have ginger hair." He eventually answered when she paused her ramblings for a moment.

"Oh.... pity. You'd give Ron a run for his money if you were Ginger."

Solas shook his head in bewilderment at her strange musings and coaxed her into moving again.

When they finally reached the Heralds quarters and managed to get the door unlocked Evelyn practically fell through into the small foyer, Solas having to catch her as she tripped and carefully set her back onto her feet again. She thanked him and he watched cautiously from the doorway as Evelyn walked unsteadily toward her bed dropping her bag at the foot of her bed and removed her shawl, letting the item of clothing fall carelessly to the floor.

Solas sighed and looked around the small room. Evelyn had slowly been making the space more her own, adding warm coloured rugs to the cold slate floor and getting rid of most the old and dusty furs that had littered the place. The book shelve was now over stuffed with books and texts she had borrowed or collected and the mantle over the fireplace was littered with interesting rocks and figurines she'd come across on her travels. Each time he visited there was something new, this time it was the addition of a large vase sitting in the middle of the small table full of brightly coloured and sweet smelling flowers, the comfortable atmosphere of the space only ruined by the cold chill of a cabin that had been empty all day without a lit fire.

Knowing the Herald was in no shape to light one herself and would likely freeze over night without a heat source Solas walked over to kneel by the fireplace and quickly set alight the wood that was already set up with a simple spell. The warmth was instantaneous and the elf set about fixing the kindling in a way that it would burn slowly and allow the fire to stay ablaze for longer. When he turned back around it was to find that Evelyn had continued discarding clothes while his back was turned, her belt and right boot now lying on the floor with the shawl and her bare legs were on full display from the thigh down while she tried to untangle herself from her pants. Evelyn had only managed to free herself from a single pant leg and stood balancing precariously on her foot, attempting to pull the tight leather of the remaining leg off over the top of her left boot she had neglected to remove.

For the briefest moment Solas stared, mesmerized by awkward sight. His eyes ran appreciatively over the shape of her creamy pale legs and curves of her thighs up to where the hem of her tunic stopped temptingly short of exposing the Heralds soft, pert rear. He was struck by the sudden urge to run his hand under that tunic and...

_No!_

The Mage tore his thoughts away from such pervasive ideas. What kind of sick monster was he to leer at the young woman in such a way? It was wrong. Solas knew from past interactions that Evelyn wasn't comfortable being seen in a state of such undress. Given her drunken state he doubted she even realised she was disrobing in front of him, if she knew what the elf was currently seeing she would be mortified. It would be disgraceful of him to take advantage of her current state, particularly after her ordeal with the Duke's son earlier that day. She hardly needed the unwanted advances of another twisted man. The decent thing to do would be to quickly leave before she realised he was still there.

And then the Herald of Andraste let out a startled squeak and fell gracelessly onto the floor, landing on her backside and still tugging at the snagged pant leg.

"I'm stuck," she whined. "My jeans are being mean."

Solas sighed in resignation and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could hardly leave her alone in this state.

"Sit up on the bed da'len, I will assist you." He ordered, standing up and walking over to the bedraggled girl.

Evelyn beamed up at him and did as she was told, pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the bed while Solas kneeled down in front of her and began to untangle the stubborn knot in the laces of her boot. She stared down at him thoughtfully as the elf worked, tugging the hem of her tunic down further in an unconscious effort to hide more skin.

"You keep calling me that," she mused out loud.

"Calling you what?" Solas murmured absently. It was no wonder the Herald couldn't get the foot wear off, the knot was impossible. He wondered in amazement how she could have possibly got it this tangled in the first place.

" _'Da'len'_ " she answered, sounding out the elven word slowly. "You always call me da'len. What does it mean?"

"It means young one." He explained finally getting the knot loose enough to undo the laces and tug the boot free of her foot.

"Young one? Like a kid." Evelyn said miserably, voice thick with disappointment. "Is that how you see me?"

Solas realised suddenly how that might sound rather patronising to the young women.

"Not like that da'len-"

She frowned and stared down at him huffily.

"Everyone seems to look at me like I'm a child," Evelyn said in frustration. "I don't get it. I'm a grown woman. Been through puberty and everything!"

"I know you are Evelyn I just meant-"

"I have boobs," she continued to rant distractedly, crossing her arms under her chest and puffing up almost defensively. "They're not as big as Cassandras but they are there... Viv's are huge!! Have you seen them?"

"We are not discussing Madame Vivienne's breasts," Solas dead panned, feeling his forehead crinkle in disgust.

The Herald continued to talk over the Mage, completely unaware of his attempt to regain control of the conversation.

"I'm not a child. I guess I can be a bit clueless at times, but I can adult you know. I could adult if I wanted. I could adult your face off...or your pants." Evie's sapphire eyes seemed to refocus back on the man in kneeling front of her. "That's what adults do isn't it?"

Solas felt he may be developing a headache, dealing with the drunken Herald was beginning to test both his patience and his restraint.

"I'm sure you are very good at _adulting_ Evelyn, no need to relieve me of my pants."

Evie groaned and dramatically fell back onto the bed covering her face with her hands. "Urgh! Who am I kidding? I can't even get my own pants off, let alone someone else's. I'm a terrible adult."

The Mage stifled a laugh as he took hold of the offending garment and pulled it the rest of the way down her leg.

"Is that better?" He asked, standing and gathering the discarded clothes in his arms.

"No, yes, maybe.... Yes." The young women looked up at him sheepishly. "Thank you Solas, for helping me adult myself."

Solas chuckled and took a moment to gaze fondly down at the Herald. Noticing suddenly how the young women lay sprawled across the top of her bed, bare legs draped lazily over the edge and her arms having fallen to rest above her head in a position of complete vulnerability, the image made all the more enticing by the lack of real coverage provided by the long loose tunic she wore as it rode up to the very tops of her thighs and slid lopsidedly off one shoulder. She sighed contently, completely oblivious to the Mages intense appraisal as his sharp eyes took in the length of her body, the curve of her hips to her slender waist, the rise and fall of her chest as her breasts strained the against soft material with each breath, the smattering of freckles that dusted her exposed shoulder and the slender arch of her neck. Solas's breath caught in his throat and he swallowed thickly when he looked upon her face, framed by the messy golden halo of her hair Evelyns eyes were bright and shinning as she stared up at him, soft sweet smile gracing her lips giving her the appearance of complete innocence and trust. The feelings of affection he'd had deepening into more primal and heated needs.

How easy it would be just to crawl over her slender form and take her in his arms, coax that pliant body into bending to his desires.

He shook his head sharply.

 _What is wrong with me today?_ The elf internally chastised. Where had his legendary control gone?

He coughed and turned away from the sight if only to remove further temptation.

"You should get into bed Evelyn, you'll need your rest after such a... trying day."

The girl let out a reluctant groan but he could hear the shuffle of linens as Evelyn worked her way into the bed. Grateful that she was at last safely in bed Solas walked across the cabin and began carefully draping the Heralds clothes over the back of a chair and bent down to line her boots up besides it.

There was a sudden sharp intake of breath from behind him. Solas turned back around curiously to find Evelyn was lying on in the bed, propped up on an elbow and seemed to be staring at his lower back, mouth slightly parted and glazed look in her eyes.

"Evelyn are you staring at my backside?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She broke into a wide lecherous smile and didn't avert her gaze.

"Maybe..." The young women replied slowly and tilted her head to the side appreciatively. "It's a very nice backside."

Solas couldn't help but smirk at the compliment.

_Take that Commander nice hair!_

"I'm glad you approve." He said smugly, turning about and making his way to the door. "Now if you'll excuse me I should go back to my own quarters. I'll see you tomorrow Evelyn."

"Oh! Wait!"

There was a thump as the girl fell clumsily out of the bed and crawled over to where her bag had been discarded. She bit down on her bottom lip and began rummaging through the contents with determination.

Solas sighed in exasperation; the Mage had thought he'd finally gotten the girl settled and safe. It was like he was dealing with a five year old.

"Evelyn you should be sleeping," he chastised.

"But I have to give you your gift," she replied firmly.

"Da'len you don't have to-"

"No, but I'm doing it anyways!"

The elf raised an annoyed eyebrow but didn't argue, it was a fight he knew he wasn't going to win.

Evelyn's face lit up as she found what she was after and staggered to her feet and over to where Solas stood, small package held carefully in her hands.

"Happy Wintersend Solas!" Evelyn said, smiling warmly and holding out the small gift proudly.

Solas could felt his annoyance melting away at the sight. He took the package carefully and began unravelling the thin brown paper it had been wrapped in, curious to see what the young woman had got for him. When the last layer of paper was removed he stared in surprise at the small wooden figure lying on his palm.

"Do you like it?" Evelyn asked anxiously hovering by his side. "It's very pretty isn't it... well accept for the glue and bandage. Sera and I did that bit earlier."

"It is very pretty," Solas agreed admiring the item. The carved wolf was made of dark heavy wood and carved with such skill it looked to be living. Its only flaw was a strip of white ribbon that had been wrapped carefully around the base of its tail like the poor creature had an injury that had indeed been bandaged.

"I know it's broken but it just seemed to suit you," Evelyn explained quickly, leaning around him to stroke the carving lovingly.

"How did it break?" he asked not unkindly, the piece was still very beautiful even with the damage done to it.

Evelyn face darkened for a moment and she almost seemed to growl.

"Du Rouche, he tossed it onto the table and broke it. All because he wanted to make the poor elf girl who made it feel bad by ruining her work. He's a rasist dick."

"And you still bought it despite the damage?" questioned the elf taken aback.

"She worked so hard on it. I didn't want her to just throw it away." The Herald answered looking up earnestly at Solas. "And I didn't want it to be left all alone, it would be sad. No wolves should be alone, they need a family."

"And I remind you of a wolf do I?" Solas questioned cautiously. There was no possible way the other worlder could know of his identity but her uncanny ability to read him was certainly curious.

"They are intelligent, practical creatures that small minded fools think of as terrible beasts," she said softly eyes never leaving his, Solas recognized his own words being recited back to him. Evelyn smiled sadly and surprised him by reaching up and cupping the side of his face tenderly. "I see a few similarities."

"Evelyn..." Solas rasped hoarsely in warning as her fingers crept up and gently began stroking the sensitive tip of his ear. He bit back a strangled groan one hand coming up to catch her wandering digits while his other still holding the wooden carving wrapped itself around her hip, unwillingly pulling her closer even while his conscious was screaming at him to stop this before it went too far.

"You always look so sad, like you lost your pack. You don't have to be sad though, you don't have to be lonely." Evelyn said softly, leaning into his neck and breathing in deeply, her mouth faintly brushing against the hollow of his throat. "I don't feel lonely with you."

"Please..." he groaned lowly, unsure what it was he was asking for.

"Not to mention that look you give me sometimes," she continued vaguely as if not realizing she was talking out loud. "Your eyes go all dark and hungry.... predatory. Like a wolf. A big. Bad. Hungry wolf. Makes me feel hot and weak, my legs go to jelly. Like that time in the stream, I can't think properly when you look like that."

Solas could feel the hunger she mentioned burning low in the pit of his stomach even as she spoke, his restraint warring thin. She stepped in closer, her soft body brushing chastely against the hard plains of his chest as her other hand came up boldly to slide around his neck, her nails lightly skimming the base of his neck. The elf found himself closing his eyes at the blissful sensation and pressing the side of his face into her captured palm, skimming his lips over her fluttering pulse and enjoying the shuddering breath that escaped her.

This was wrong, so very wrong. He was taking advantage of the Herald while she was clearly inebriated...

Yet he wanted this. Desperately.

The need was practically scolding him as he pulled her tight to his front. Letting go of her hand Solas gently cradle her jaw and tilted her face up to his. The darkened deep blue of her eyes almost swallowed beneath pupils blown wide with arousal. She wanted it to it seemed, it would be cruel to deny her.

A kiss surely wouldn't hurt either of them.

"Solas..." Evelyn whimpered breathlessly.

"Ma da'len," he growled lowering his mouth to hers, lips grazing the corner of her lush lips.

Then her small hands were on his chest, shoving him back with enough force to make him stagger. The elf caught himself and looked up in time to see the young woman making a mad dash for the table, hands and grasping the flowers and tearing them from the vase before leaning over the decorative container and....

Promptly threw up the contents of her stomach.

Solas stared stunned for a moment, his head reeled as the reality of what he was about to do washed over him like a bucket of cold water.

_Creators that was too close! What was he thinking?!_

Pushing his stupidity aside the Mage sighed and walked over to where Evelyn stood hunched over the vase and wordlessly gathered her hair into his hands, carefully holding it back. For several moments the Herald of Andraste retched and groaned into the vase while Solas spoke soothing words of comfort and waited for his erratic heart to slow back down. When she was finished Evelyn let out a pitiful whimper and sunk weakly onto to floor, the elf crouching down beside her in concern.

"Solas..." She croaked whipping her mouth on the handkerchief her offered her.

"Yes Evelyn?"

"I think I might be a little drunk," she admitted blearily.

"Is that so?" He replied dryly.

"Just a little."

The elfs snort of amusement turned to a cry of alarm when the girl's eyes suddenly rolled back in her head and she slumped back into his arms in a dead faint.

"Evelyn? Evelyn!" he said urgently before sighing in relief when she mumbled and groaned, shifting meekly in his arms with annoyance. She was alright, though The Herald was likely to have an impressive headache when she awoke.

Solas pinched the bridge of his nose and took a steadying breath. He'd come close to doing something momentously stupid but the moment had passed. He would not allow it to happen again. His interest in her was purely related to her survival and that of the Anchor, nothing more. He would need to be more careful in the future, take care not to let himself get so... pent up. A one night stand with a willing elf maid was long overdue.

With a tired and resigned groan Solas gently lifted Evie into his arms and stood, adjusting her so she was cradled safely against his chest as he carried her the short distance to the bed with ease. Laying the human down and making sure she was covered by the blankets he stood back and looked down at the first person in a very long time who had manage to get under his skin and test his control to such an extent. With her face peaceful and relaxed in sleep, lips slightly parted and hair falling across her face it was hard to believe she could cause him such conflict.

Yes, he would need to keep his distance from now on.

With a frustrated shake of his head Solas made his way to the door and pushed down on the handle, stopping just short of stepping over the threshold and into the small town when the sleeping women made a soft noise of discomfort in her sleep.

He paused struggling with himself then gave in with a sigh.

"Fenedhis lasa!" he hissed before closing the door and turning back around sharply. With stiff irritated movements he took the chair from under the table and set it up besides the bed, throwing himself into it with a groan.

"I'm just making sure you don't die of alcohol poisoning over night," he said aloud to the unconscious Herald. "That's all this is."

Evelyn didn't answer but she shifted onto her side in sleep, burrowing further into the blankets with a content smile on her face.

"Mmmm... not afraid... of bad wolves... so fluffy." She mumbled drowsily.

Solas felt something in his chest pang and he sadly reached forward and brushed a few wayward strand of golden hair from her face and leaned over to press his lips softly to her forehead.

"Ir abelas, ma da'len." He whispered remorsefully, gently stroking the swell of her cheek with his thumb. "I am a foolish, weak man."

The sun was beginning to rise and shine its light over the surface of the lake by the time Solas left the Herald quarters. A wooden carving held carefully against his chest and a regretful sigh on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hoped you enjoyed the special chapter :) back to canon plot line next time. The Wintersend arch took much longer than I thought to get through. But it was worth it.  
> Just to clarify Solas uses the word da'len as a term of endearment to a younger person in this story. He certainly doesn't see Evie as being a child... that would be so wrong. So I imagine when he calls her that it's kind of the equivalent of being called 'babe' or' baby girl' from a modern man. At least that's how I see it in this story when he uses it with her.  
> Also yes Evie likes anime.... no judging it made for a funny joke :(


	36. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Well, my head hurts like Bull took a mallet to it and I feel like something threw up and died in my throat, then something even bigger came along, ate the dead thing then threw it back up and died itself from septic shock." 
> 
>  
> 
> Things aren't always pretty the morning after... poor Evie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something quick to tied people over for the next stage :) Again things were taking to long to finish so I ended up cutting my planned chapter short to make this. In fact this could have almost gone into a separate Fic for one shots or shorts for the More than a dream Universe but first time reader might get confused without the context of the main story... don't know. Maybe you guys could let me know if it would be better to remove these kind of chapters from the main story and start a separate one.  
> Anyway as always I hope you enjoy.

 

## Regret ## 

 

 

I awoke slowly with the mother of all headaches. All I felt was pain, dull and thumping around my skull like a wrecking ball. Everything inside my head was all loud bells and hammers, everything outside my head was all muffles and fuzzyness.

_God damn it not again! If I open my eyes and find myself in another alternate world I was seriously going to unleash the mother of all tantrums!_

Opening my dry and burning eyes I looked cautiously up to the familiar sight of my cabins worn and dusty ceiling. Relief folded over me as did a sudden wave of nausea and overall icky-ness.

So this time it really was a hangover.

_Lovely_.

I tried to sit up. That was a big mistake as it made my head swim and my stomach roll. I fell back onto the bed making a noise that would have rivalled the cries of a dying moose.

"Uuurrrrgh...."

_I hope whatever asshole invented alcohol was burning in hell right now._

.....

Okay that was a little harsh, but given how my head felt like it was about to explode and my mouth had somehow taken on the properties of a dumpster I believe my anger was slightly justified.

Worse thing was I couldn't recall a damn thing. I vaguely remembered giving Bull his present and swearing not to speak with him again because he was being a pig but after that it was all a hideous blur. This was exactly the reason why I avoiding drinking in excess, well why I had up until last night apparently. What had I been thinking?! God (or the Maker) only knew what I had done last night, well him and quite possibly the whole population of Haven.

_Urgh! Why was I such disaster?_

Well, wallowing in self pity wasn't going to get me any answers. Unfortunately I needed to get up and face the day and it was better to do it now on my own accord than have Cassandra come in a drag me from my bed, I wouldn't put it past the Seeker to do just that to teach me a lesson. Groaning in discomfort and pain I rolled reluctantly to my side and sat gingerly on the edge of my bed, giving my body a moment to adjust to its new position and willing myself not to throw up while I waited. When the nausea subsided I noticed that I hadn't changed into my sleep shirt last night and was still wearing my top and underclothes, my pants I could see were folded neatly over the shabby little chair by the table alongside my boots. Looking to the bedside I found my water jug and goblet awaiting my use along with a small glass vial atop a scrap of paper. I picked up the paper curiously and recognised Solas's neat and flowing hand straight away.

**_Good morning da'len._ **

**_I fear after last night you may not be feeling the best. Please drink the potion and plenty of water. It should help alleviate most of the symptoms._ **

**_Solas_ **

**_p.s Thank you for the wolf, don't worry I will endeavour to keep him from being too lonely._ **

**_......._ **

_Oh no...._

_Oh no no no no no!_

Solas had been here. He'd known I'd need a hangover cure this morning which suggests he'd seen me drunk... and I didn't remember a damn thing.

_Piss, shit, bugger, poo! FUCK! WHAT HAD I DONE?!_

It looked like I'd given him his present but what else? Did I say anything stupid? Did I _do_ anything stupid? Please God don't let me have hit on the poor man, if I had .... I was going to run away with one of the Antivan performing troops that Josephine had hired. I could learn to play a flute or belly dance, hell I'd learn to swallow swords if I had to!

_All right Evie, calm down. No need to panic just yet._

There was a slim chance that I didn't do anything embarrassing what so ever. Maybe I was a quiet drunk, one that sank into the background and giggled to herself at jokes no one else understood. Though knowing my luck I was just as likely to turn into an opinionated and aggressive brat when intoxicated.

And nobody likes the angry drunk.

Whatever I'd done it would probably be in my best interest to avoid the elf for a few days until my drunken episode had blown over. In the meantime I needed to get up and moving, the longer I stayed like this the more likely someone would come in and see me in my sorry state. I gratefully downed the small vial of Solas's potion and a few cups of water before freshening up and getting dressed. A nice warm bath would have been ideal however I'd been warned in the days leading up to the festival that the visiting dignitaries would have first preference in the wash rooms and I did not want to run into any of them. Once decent and feeling a smidge more human I left my cabin in the search for some fresh air and possibly a greasy hot meal at The Singing Maiden.

Haven was oddly silent considering it was almost midday, my guess was most the residents were sleeping off a big night or enjoying a well deserved day off after all the hard work that was put into the Wintersend Festival. Still, it came as a surprise to find the tavern mostly empty with a sign on the counter reading "Bar and Kitchen Closed." I was more disappointed than annoyed by the discovery. Flissa, without a doubt, made the best cooked breakfasts in town but The Singing Maiden wasn't the only place to get a hot meal.

_Alright, plan B._

Leaving the warmth of the tavern I walked out towards the towns' gates, taking in the evidence of last night's party along the way. There were empty cups and bottles littering the snowy landscape and small fire pits still smouldered with the dying embers from the night before. There were even a few unfortunate people who hadn't quite made it back to their homes and currently slept soundly on door steps or half buried in snow drifts besides the dying heat of the cooling fire pits. I politely made sure that the ones I passed by were still breathing before moving on and leaving them to their beauty sleep.

The smell and sound of happily sizzling sausages was the first thing to great me at The Chargers camp. I could feel my mouth beginning to water at the very notion of Stiches's famous hangover breakfasts. The mercenary group were practically seasoned veterans in the art of getting hammered, therefore it went without saying that their resident healer was more than capable of tending to them the next day. And Stiches always made extra. While I'd never actually needed a post drinking breakfast myself I'd joined the Chargers for a few of Stiches special meals since they'd set up their temporary home at Haven entrance. For a band of hired thugs they were great company, even when grouchy and hung-over.

Ducking under the ropes of one of the tents I made my way over to the Chargers fire pit and passed dozens of mercenaries and Inquisition soldiers who were already scoffing down their meal with gusto, heads bowed and keeping their queasiness to themselves. There in the middle of it all was Stiches, crouched over a large frypan occasionally stabbing or turn one of the dozen fat blistering snags he cooked, a second pan sat on edge of the hot coals, full of cooked mushrooms and seasoned potato slices.

My stomach let out a painfully load gurgle.

_FOOOOOD!_

"Don't stand around and wait for it to get cold, get a plate already." Stiches sighed tiredly not even bothering to look up.

With an eager grin I did as told piling a simple wooden plater high with the fried vegetables and waiting patiently for Stiches to serve out two large, greasy and freshly cooked sausages onto the plate.

"Thank you," I said almost reverently.

The corner of the healers' mouth turned up into a knowing smirk.

"I thought we might be seeing you this morning Lady Herald."

I felt myself blushing defensively while I tried to remain nonchalant.

"Is that so?"

"Aye," the dark skin man seemed to be stifling a laugh. "Varric's even saving you a seat over on the ridge."

I looked up and across towards the road leading away from Haven. Just across from the stables was an outcropping of rock that jutted up by the side of the dirt path and gave anyone sitting atop it a fairly good view of the goings on about Haven. It was a good place to just sit and people watch, which meant it was also a good spot for Varric to take note of ideas for future novels. Sure enough the dwarf was perched on the edge of the small ridge, his red shirt a glaring beckon of the writers' presence as he swung his stumpy legs over the edge. Varric waved cheerily when he noticed my attention, I swear I could hear his evil chuckle from where I stood.

I groaned in embarrassment. It seems everybody already knew I was going to be feeling seedy this morning.

"How's everybody else doing?" I asked curiously.

"Bout' the same as you'd be feeling I reckon, probably worse seeing as you actually left fairly early on." He answered without a hint of sympathy. "The Chief hasn't come out of his tent yet. Krem came back from a set of shield drills about an hour ago and looked half dead, stupid fool gets cocky when he drinks. And people keep coming to me for potions because your Alchemist is apparently sleeping in one of the baths."

"Adan is passed out in the washroom?" I snickered. "He must have had fun last night."

"The Inquisition sure knows how to throw a party." Stiches agreed. "Doesn't look like much will be getting done today though, may as well take the time to recover."

I thanked the healer again and with my plate full of food made my way over to the ridge, wordlessly passing my food of to Varric while I clambered clumsily up to join him. The chill breeze out here was perfect for clearing a foggy head, add that to the stunning scenery of the peaceful snowy village that was just starting to see a bit of summers rays and I couldn't imagine a better place to spend a hangover, apart from back in bed of course. When I was seated and looking out across the pretty landscape the dwarf handed back my plate. I tried to ignore the gleeful brightness in is hazel eyes.

He was enjoying this way too much.

"Morning Varric," I said casually sounding more croaky and tired than I would have liked.

"Herald." He replied formally.

I waited. He didn't say anything more, just sat there grinning smugly. I continued to wait unable to touch my food, the suspense of the teasing I knew was bound to came making it impossible to eat. When the dwarf began to hum happily I snapped.

"Alright, alright already! I was drunk last night, are you happy? Go on, let me have it. Tell me how much of a light weight I am or how I look like death warmed over. Get the mocking over and done with before I lose my appetite for good."

He clutched dramatically at his chest.

"You wound me my Lady. Do you honestly think I would ridicule Andrastes chosen?"

"Yes."

"That I would gain entertainment at her suffering and embarrassment?" He continued grandly.

"Yes," I repeated flatly.

"Well it was pretty funny."

I groaned and hung my head in shame as Varric began to chortle and pat my back sympathetically.

"How are you doing Sunshine?" The rogue asked when he'd finally stopped laughing at my expense.

"Well, my head hurts like Bull took a mallet to it and I feel like something threw up and died in my throat, then something even bigger came along, ate the dead thing then threw it back up and died itself from septic shock." I admitted bitterly.

"Yeah, whisky will do that to you." He said wisely.

I stared horrified at his broad face.

"I drank whisky?!"

"You don't remember?"

"I don't even remember finishing my cider."

"Oh Sunshine, you are priceless!" He laughed boisterously.

"It's not funny," I whined. "Did I do anything stupid? Did I piss anyone off?"

"Well Cassandra may be a little mad after you gave her relationship advice then falsely accused her of being drunk and demanded someone cart her off to bed but she's always a mad about something, I wouldn't worry about her. And Cullen probably won't be able to look at you without blushing for the next week or so. Otherwise you were a riot!"

"Oh God, just let the demons have me and be done with it," I moaned pathetically.

"On the bright side you are no longer losing the 'Blush Bet.'"

"You dubbed it the 'Blush Bet'?" I asked dubiously. "Really?"

"It's a work in progress." The dwarf admitted.

Shaking my head I began to eat my breakfast, hoping the fatty food would do its job and soak up any excess alcohol still floating in my system. I froze with my fork half way to my mouth when I noticed something unusual across from us.

"Is that Jim passed out and tied to the stable fence?" I asked shielding my eyes from the sun and squinting to see the pale figure better.

"Yep," Varric replied taking swig from a flask he pulled from his pocket.

"And is he wearing a saddle?"

"Yep."

"And a bridle?"

"It would seem so."

I was beginning to regret squinting, I was seeing far more than I wanted to.

"And, uh.... nothing else."

"Well there's the saddle blanket to keep him warm but other than that no, no he isn't. See things could always be worse Sunshine. You could be Jim."

I smiled despite myself, feeling guilty that Jims misfortune somehow made my own embarrassment rather insignificant but unable to help the amusement from spreading across my face.

"Cullen's going to be pissed," I giggled. "Maybe someone should go help him out?"

"Are you kidding me? Those Orlessian twins worked forever on those knots, I'd hate to ruin their fun. Plus they're our esteemed guests, best not to meddle." Varric said seriously.

I couldn't really argue with that logic. Instead I settled in to enjoy my breakfast and observed the small town slowly come awake as more bleary eyed soldiers and towns folk wandered out of their tents and homes. A handful or so shuffled over to take advantage of the Chargers presence and get a free meal like I had, others made a bee line to the icy lakes shore to dunk their heads in the freezing water and clear them of cobwebs. Some merchants began to pack up their tents or carts in preparation to depart while others wandered into the town or reset up stalls to sell off the remainder of their goods. Varric and I watched in silent amusement and were eventually joined by Blackwall, Sera and surprisingly Scout Harding. We sat and watched as Bull emerged from his tent followed by a blonde, a brunette and a male dwarf and Varric collected several coins of a disgruntled Blackwall who seemed to have lost some form of bet. Then Cullen came by to wake Jim with a bucket of cold water, we all cheered as the Commanders assistant snapped a panicked salute and made the walk of shame back to his tent using the bucket to cover himself and still wearing the saddle.

It was peaceful, just a bunch of people relaxing and waiting for the world to start moving again. For a time I could almost forget the reason we were all here to begin with. But The Breach still hung over us like an ominous green storm cloud, a constant reminder that none of us were really safe. The Wintersend Festival had given us a short reprieve from the pressures of saving the world, but it couldn't last. Soon we would need to approach either the Templar's or Mages and attempt to close the tear in the Veil, the very thought sending nervous tremors throughout my insides.

I wanted to enjoy myself, to shut down all my concerns and fears for just one more day so I could make a few more positive memories of my time here. But fear is a stubborn little thing and it hung around in the back of my mind whispering doubts even as I laughed and pointed out obscure and dirty shaped clouds with Harding and Sera. Even so I was determined not to let my worry show. The others didn't need me bringing down their good mood.

"Well, would you look at that," Blackwall suddenly said apparently having looked up from the small block of wood he'd been whittling with his pocket knife.

"Look at what?" Harding asked, craning around inquisitively to see what had gained the Wardens attention.

"Seems like somebody had a bit of fun last night," He said suggestively and nodded his head over to a group of tents the visiting merchant had set up.

I sighed, rolling my eyes as the others practically fell over each to see what Blackwall was gesturing to. What was with the fascination in knowing everyone else's personal lives? Did it really matter to any of us if someone we knew spent the night with someone else? It was just like being back in high school and I didn't really get the appeal back then either. Unless it had to do with me it was none of my business. We were all adults not gossiping teens and that sort of thing was private, unless the person was like Bull and liked to brag about every conquest. It shouldn't matter to me if one of our friends had gotten lucky. Good for them, I suppose. As long as it was safe and consensual... right?

Well that's what logical and mature Evie thought. However I had never really been completely one hundred percent logical and try as I might maturity always seemed just out of reach. Particularly when curiosity got the better of me.

_What if it was Cassandra coming out of a merchant's tent?_

**Stop it Evie, it's none of your business.**

_..... Or Vivienne?_

**....**

**Damn it!**

I caved and joined the others, peering curiously over Blackwalls shoulder to openly gawk at which of our comrades we had caught out. It was really none of my business and not really an appropriate source of entertainment but turns out I was just as juvenile and weak willed as everyone else here.

When I saw who it was I immediately regretted my curiosity, my heart plummeting to the soles of my feet like it was made of lead.

Solas stood at the entrance of one of the tents, dressed in what appeared to be the same clothes he'd worn yesterday while walking about the stalls with me. I recognise the fur lined surcoat immediately because it was of slightly better quality than the apostate normally wore and I'd had my face buried in it for longer than I'd like to admit during my melt down. He looked relaxed and at ease while holding open the tent flap to allow its other occupant to exit. The elf maid emerged like a princess from a fairytale, all grace and poise beneath a flowing pale silk dress. She was pretty, slight and delicate with tanned skin and long ebony hair. As we watched Solas seemed to smile and say something that caused her to return the gesture beguilingly and laugh, coyly looking the apostate up and down before stepping in closer.

My stomach twisted painfully and I looked away quickly.

_Oh...._

_Ouch._

_"_ Well, didn't know Chuckles had it in him." Varric said in surprised amusement.

"Typical," Sera drawled clearly less amused. "The elf takes the elf so that bumping bits will _mean_ something."

"Does that mean you'll be finding yourself a nice elf man Sera?" Harding teased.

"Piss off!" Sera scowled making a disgusted face. "I'd rather swap spit with a nug than his royal elfyness. Though she's not that bad is she? Pretty hair."

She did have lovely hair, thick, straight and it shined like light reflecting on a river. I bet she was smart too, that she was witty and eloquent and confident. She probably didn't stumble over her own words or get herself into stupid situations or lose her composure and have a breakdown in front of the man she admired.

And she was like him, an elf, a creature right out a fantasy.

They were perfect together.

"Oi, you alright over there?" Sera asked, elbowing me in the ribs while the other continued to spy on the elven Mage. "You're being too quiet."

I looked back up to the archer and laughed, smiling brightly.

"Of course! I'm just still recovering from last night. Honestly I don't think those mushrooms are going down well."

Sera looked me over critically, likely seeing through my terrible farce. For a nervous moment I waited for her to call me out on it. I suspect Sera knew about my silly crush on Solas, she'd made enough snide remarks in the past to indicate such, though she'd never actually asked me about it. But for once the trouble making elf decided not to make a scene and embarrass me as she simply shrugged and went back to spying.

Maybe she figured I had already humiliated myself enough with my one sided feelings even without the whole of the Inquisition knowing. God knows I certainly felt the idiot without the added attention.

I shouldn't be hurt. It wasn't like the Mage even knew I liked him and he had no obligation to like me back. We'd shared a few heated moments but he'd never shown any real interest in me, romantically at least. And even if he had nothing could really happen between us any way. I had no intentions of starting a relationship with anyone in Thedas when I would inevitably have to go back to Earth.

But it did. It hurt.

_Damn! I was such an idiot!_

Just another stupid one sided crush that I let get out of hand. I knew it was foolish, that it was useless and pointless and would never go anywhere and yet I still hoped. Deep down I had wanted him to notice me back.

_When will you learn Evie? How much rejection will it take to get it through your thick skull....?_

Suddenly I was drawn out of my disapointed musings when a rustle of clothing and crunch of snow announced Sera's change in position. The elf abruptly standing up right and cupping her hands around her mouth.

_Oh no._

"Sera-" I warned lowly.

Too late.

"OI! DROOPY EARS!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, alerting half of Haven to our little groups presence and without a doubt gaining the attention of Solas and his companion. I could see his face pucker into a disgruntle scowl even from this distance.

_Oh God, what was Sera doing?!_

"Drop em' and rebuild the empire!" The archer cat called lewdly, making obscene thrusting motions with her hips. "Phwoar!"

I was torn between wanting to laugh at the other girls ridiculousness and the overwhelming urge to hide myself under a rock at all the attention we were all getting. Many people laughed at her antics others, like Solas and his partner, did not appear amused and instead glared or shook their heads at the vulgar display.

"Makers balls Sera! Get down!" Blackwall growled, sharply tugging the elf to sit back on the ridge. "You're going to get yourself into trouble."

"Worth it innit'?" She cackled. "You see his face?"

No. In fact I decidedly refused to look in his direction or that of the merchant tents for the remainder of our little outing. By the time we all decided to head back to our quarters Solas was nowhere in sight and the female elf was busy selling off her remaining stock of jewellery in front of her tent. I'd purposely put on a bright and happy face and forced myself to enjoy the rest of the afternoon with my friends because wallowing was not healthy or productive.

For the most part nobody seemed to notice, or if they did they choose to ignore it. That was until Sera decided to take the long way back to the tavern and walk me back to my cabin.

As soon as we were alone and out of earshot of Varric, who'd stopped by a fire to talk to some soldiers, Sera turned and looked at me seriously from beneath her uneven mop of hair.

"He's not worth it any way, you know?" She said firmly. "He's got his head crammed up a thousand years ago. To wrapped up in being a proper elf and whatever that means, doubt he'd even look some ones way unless their ears were pointed. So it's not you yeah?... just your ears."

I struggle to hide my wince, I really didn't want to talk about this. Particularly with Sera who had never really got on well with the Mage from the beginning, she wouldn't understand.

"It's fine Sera, really. It was nothing to begin with."

"Sure it wasn't," the rogue said slowly. "He's too stiff for you anyway. Bet he calls out 'elven glory!' when he does it."

"Sera!" I choked, wanting to chastise the other girl but unable to stop from giggling.

"See, that there." Sera cried, pointing to my face. "You need someone who makes you do that more. Someone fun. Like that lady, Ann Anna-May!"

"Who?" I crinkled my face in confusion.

"Ann Anna-May," she repeated excitedly. "The women with man bits and taught you that dirty poem about the women and the gluey lady parts. She sounds awesome!"

For a moment I was very confused, then realization hit and a felt my face drain of all colour.

"Please tell me I didn't sing about the women from Kew..." I whispered horrified.

Sera grinned evilly.

"There once was a woman from Kew," she recited. "Who filled her...."

I groaned and hid my face in my hands, Sera just sang louder seemingly wanting the whole town to her the dirty limerick.

_God help me could this get any worse?!_

I was NEVER drinking again.

EVER!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.... don't hate me.  
> Also who picked up on the reference to the very first chapter.... anyone?


	37. Compromise Means No One's Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Just because it's the easiest path doesn't make it the right one. I think helping the Mages is worth the risk." 
> 
> The Inquisition has to make a decision.... but will it be the right one?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful day. For those who don't celebrate Christmas and maybe enjoy a different holiday or maybe none at all I still hope you've enjoyed a good break or time with family and friends :)  
> It's been a month since I last updated. I'm so sorry.  
> Unfortunately not long after I last posted we had some bad news in my family involving someone receiving a diagnosis of the dreaded C word. Honestly I've been pretty devastated by it and while writing is a great escape at times it's difficult to do if you're not in the right mind set. Things have kind of quietened down now and we've all come to terms with what we may be facing in the next year so I'm personally feeling a bit more myself again. I wont say much more on the subject because frankly its not my story to tell this time, I'm just a helpless by stander worried about a loved one.   
> I'll just say that its a sucky situation but we'll get through it. We always do. It may just mean in time there might be bigger breaks between chapters depending on what's going on. I'll continue to try and post regularly because I love this story and the people reading it, I just want people to know any big lapses in updates isn't because I'm abandoning this story. It just means real life might be kicking my ass for a little bit :)  
> So big chapter coming up. I hope you guys enjoy :)

## Compromise Means No One's Happy ##

 

 

 

Over the next few days Haven began to return to its peaceful yet busy self as the horde of visitors packed up and left the small town to its own devices. I was kept occupied by Josephine and Vivienne who made it their mission in life that I be there to personally farewell every dignitary as they left the gates, armed with an individualised spiel about how grateful we were for their attendance and support. By the time the last carriage left with Baroness Tilburg and her three cats my cheeks were beginning to hurt with the strain of my forced smile and I had fears it would become a permanent expression. I didn't mind being polite and courteous but the endless stream of false smiles, simpering ladies and pretentious lords was too much to handle. I was glad the whole event was over and we could go back to focus on what was important.

However that meant going back to spending hours at a time deciding what our next course of action was to be in the dreary and dimly lit War Room. For days the combined forces of the heads of the Inquisition and the companions and allies we'd acquired gathered all the information they could and offered opinions and ideas. Eventually it got to the stage that we couldn't prolong the inevitable any longer.

We needed to make a choice.

Surprisingly someone thought I was important enough to be there when a decision was made, no clue whose bright idea that had been but never-the-less I soon found myself sitting in the corner of the War Room, silently watching while Leliana, Josephine, Cullen and Cassandra discussed our options.

And by 'discussed' I meant bicker and argue stubbornly with each other.

"I don't even know why we are still considering the Mages," Cullen was saying for the seventh time in the last hour.

"Because Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister," Cassandra reminded him angrily. "This cannot be allowed to stand."

"No it cannot," Leliana agreed. "Furthermore, if we can assist them the Free Mages will be a valuable asset to our cause."

Cullen ran a frustrated hand through his thick hair, by some miracle it was still mostly in place even though he'd repeated that action every time siding with the Mages was even hinted at.

_The man must use some super strong product to keep all those waves and curls in place._

"We don't have the man power to take the castle," he growled.

"We don't need man power, we have an invitation." Leliana purred with a wicked sneer that made my blood run cold.

_The Spy Master was seriously scary sometimes._

"The letter from Alexius asked for the Herald of Andraste by name. It's an obvious trap!" Josephine said shaking her head at Lelianas suggestion.

"Alexius wants me to meet with him?" I asked suspiciously.

"He's so complementary that we are certain he wants to kill you," Leliana said smiling sweetly in my direction.

_Oh joy, another enemy to add to the growing list of people who would probably dance on my early grave._

"Well he can just get in line," I muttered bitterly.

"This is not something to take lightly Herald," Cullen said scowling at me reproachfully.

"Sorry," I murmured feeling thoroughly chastised under his hard stare. He was right; it was a serious problem and not one I should joke about. But I found it hard not to undermine yet another threat on my life. Otherwise I would begin to dwell on just how many people wanted me dead and I'd turn into a nervous wreck.

_Better to make fun of the situation than let it emotionally maim me, right?_

"Alexius doesn't know we are aware of his intentions, it would be easy to take advantage..." Leliana began.

"Not this again," Josephine sighed looking beyond exasperated as she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head.

The Spy Master coolly stared across the table at her friend in challenge, arms crossed over her chest in defiance.

Cassandra stepped forward and spoke heatedly "If we don't even try to meet Alexius we lose the Mages and leave a hostile foreign power on our door step."

"Redcliffe Castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden, it has repelled thousands of assaults." The Commander pressed cutting his stern gaze back over at me to make his point. "If you go in there you'll die, and we'll lose the only means we have of closing these Rifts. I won't allow it."

I opened my mouth to protest but was cut off by Josephine adding her own reasoning to the debate.

"Even if we could assault the keep it would be for naught. An Orlessian Inquisition army marching into a major Ferelden city will provoke a war. Our hands are tied."

That gave me pause. I didn't realise we were an _Orlessian_ Inquisition. I'd thought since we were based in Haven (a Ferelden town) that we counted as being a Ferelden organization. Though I suppose we were founded by a writ from Divine Justinia, who while Divine for all of southern Thedas was based out of Orlais. I suddenly felt kind of dirty.

_Euww... we were Orlessian._

Cassandra slammed the palm of her hand down on the tables' hard surface in frustration.

"But Alexius-"

"-Has out played us," Cullen said firmly, staring down the Seeker without even flinching. "We have another safer option. The Templars must help us close the Breach. The order was founded to fight magic."

"If we want the Templars aid we would need to first convince Lord Seeker Lucius to bring them out of exile," The Spy Master said sounding put out.

"We’ve received word from a knight recruit, they gather at Therinfal Redoubt." The Commander revealed confidently.

"It has been vacant for decades, why go there?" Cassandra puzzled.

Josephine shrugged and jotted down something on her clip board. "We must approach the Lord Seeker again to get anywhere, we can ask him then."

"He didn’t seem very keen on helping us before, how do we even know he'll agree to see us? The Lord Seeker is not exactly a big fan of ours." I piped up sadly. "What’d he call the Inquisition again? Un-important?"

"Then we would have to change how he see’s us, no?" Leliana suggested thoughtfully.

"If it's status the Lord Seeker seeks then the Inquisition could approach him after allying with the noblest houses in Orlais." The Ambassador declared eye glittering proudly, this was her area of expertise after all and the alliances we had made over the Festival may be proving their use earlier than expected.

"You believe that will work? Cullen asked dubiously.

"Even the Lord Seeker would find it hard to ignore so many Nobles on his doorstep." Cassandra admitted with a wry grin.

"Yes, especially if lead by the Herald of Andraste," Leliana added looking my way.

I swallowed thickly. I hated when she looked at me that way, like I was a chess piece, a pawn she was about to use to draw out the King from behind his knights and castles.

"How in the world would having me there help matters?" I asked incredulously. "Last time we met Lucius acted like I was something his horse left on the side of the road."

"Rumours you were saved from the Fade by Andraste have grown legion among the Templars," Leliana reminded me softly.

"We’ve done our part to encourage them," Josephine added brightly making me wince internally. I felt beyond guilty that we were still using this false story of being some holy chosen one to basically trick people into siding with us.

"Evelyn with a few companions may be dismissed, easily set aside." Leliana continued as their idea gained momentum. "However the Herald returning with Noble support will be reconsidered, as will the power of the Inquisition."

"Makes sense I suppose," I admitted reluctantly. "But what if he sees our visit as a threat? This could end up being just as dangerous as going to Alexius."

"Before I would have thought he was a man of reason. Now, I could not say," Cassandra replied shaking her head and looking uncharacteristically unsure.

"With respect, after his appearance in Val Royeaux hang what the Lord Seeker thinks!" Cullen said darkly, dismissing our concern with a vicious slash of his hand.

"We do not need the Lord Seeker," agreed Leliana practically. "We need his Templars with or without his approval."

"And what about the Mages," I interjected softly. "We could use them too right? I mean the Breach is magic, that's their area of expertise."

Cassandra looked at me sadly.

"If we approach the Mages we will lose any chance of gaining the Templars aid. And the Mages will not be likely to accept our assistance if they know we are associated with the Templars. I'm afraid it's one or the other."

"The Mages have made their choice. Let them deal with their own mistakes." Cullen said dismissively.

"But we can't just leave them," I said almost pleadingly. "Not every Mage asked for this. I spoke to some of them back at Redcliffe, they were terrified. We can't just... abandon them all to the mercy of Alexius and whatever cult it is he's joined. They need help."

"While I sympathise with their plight we do not have the forces or the authority to oppose a Tevinter Magister. It simply cannot be done," Josephine said with more sensitively than the Commander had shown.

"We can't just give up, there has to be a way." I continued, desperately trying to think of a potential solution. "What about Redcliffes Arl? Maybe he could help us and we could help him get his town back?"

"After he was displaced Arl Teagan rode straight to Denerim to petition the crown for help. I doubt he'll want our assistance once the Ferelden army lays siege to his castle." Josephine said dryly.

"Wait," Leliana interrupted softly, her porcelain face thoughtful. "There is a secret passage into the castle, an escape route for family. It's too narrow for our tropes but we could send agents through."

I could feel hope swelling in my chest like a bright balloon, until the Commander again shut down the idea with a stern response.

"Too risky," he said. "Those agents will be discovered well before they reach the Magister."

"That's why we need a distraction. Perhaps the envoy Alexius wants so badly," Leliana suggested grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"You suggest we use the Herald as bait?" Josephine sounded appalled.

"Why not? It's not really much different than having me lead the Nobles to the Templars." I pointed out, either way I was still being used.

"Except that we know this Magister intends to kill you Evie," Cullen argued.

"Who doesn't these days," I said trying to down play the threat yet again. "I don't mind playing the bait if it helps to save the Mages Cullen."

"Out of the question!" he said sharply. "It's not worth the risk when we could simply approach the Templars."

"The agents will keep me safe right Leliana?" I said with forced confidence.

Cassandra cut in before the Spy Master could answer.

"You forget we are dealing with a Tevinter Magister, they don't get to being in such a position without taking proper precautions. Those tunnels will have defensive spells in place. I guarantee it."

"But we could find a way around them. Alexius may not even be aware of-"

"It's not worth your life Herald," Cullen interrupted sharply.

"My life or the mark?" I snapped angrily at the Ex-Templar regretting the accusing words even as they passed my lips. True as they may be it was cruel thing to say to someone who had been so kind to me.

Cullen stared at me tawny eyes wide and mouth struggling to form words of his own.

"Evie that wasn't what I... you can't honestly believe that I ... we-"

"Sorry, that was uncalled for." I relinquished softly looking away from his handsome hurt face. Really I should be used to all this by now. It wasn't me the Inquisition needed, just the glowing scar on my hand, without the Mark I held no importance. I knew that. There was no need to throw it back in the faces of the people trying to protect me because of it. It wasn't their fault it was just how things were.

Honestly I wasn't usually so argumentative or difficult, but something about what the Mages were going through tugged at my conscience. Maybe it was because I was fascinated and in awe of the real magic that existed this world or maybe it was because I was heartbroken that these incredible gifts possessed by the Mages had basically sentenced each and every one of them to a life of isolation and fear. Maybe I'd just read Harry Potter too many times to ever think of the wizards as being the bad guys. Either way I felt like the Rebel Mages were in trouble and that we had the opportunity to aid them, to show them kindness so few had ever received. And yet here we were debating a choice that seemed so obvious to me. It was frustrating and I was letting the situation get the better of me. Getting angry wasn't going to help, so tried again in a more calm tone.

"Alexius will want me dead whether we approach him or not. At least this way we can control things on our terms." I reasoned.

"She has a point," Cassandra said nodding her head in agreement. "We can't just leave him unchecked."

"And we won't," Josephine said coming forward and doing a great job of ignoring the uncomfortable tension in the room my outburst had caused. "Once we have closed the Breach and proven we are worthy we will have all the support we could ask for in dealing with the Magisters' threat. We just have to remain vigil in the meantime and work quickly."

"By then it could be too late to save the Mages," I argued.

"Our purpose is to close The Breach. That is our priority." Cullen reminded his voice softer and less abrasive than before. "Approaching the Templars remains the quickest and safest way to achieve that."

"Just because it's the easiest path doesn't make it the right one. I think helping the Mages is worth the risk." I replied looking around the others hopefully. I had nothing else to argue, I just prayed it would be enough to sway everyone.

The War Room fell silent as we all took in everything that had been said. No one else having anything more to offer, it had all been laid out on the table. Yet we were still without a direction in which to point our cause.

Leliana was the first to break the silence, stepping towards the map covered table top to pick up a marker, the one that marked to position of where the Temple of Sacred Ashes had once stood, where the tear in the Veil now consumed a portion of the sky.

"The Breach will not wait for our differences to settle. A decision must be made and it needs to be made today." She said quietly.

"Easier said than done when we cannot agree on whom to approach," Josephine sighed tiredly.

"Then maybe we should vote on it." I suggested offhandedly.

"Vote?" Cassandra repeated sceptically.

I shrugged feeling myself flush under her scrutiny.

"Well if we can't agree on anything a vote is the only fair way I see of finding an outcome anytime soon. On the count of three those wanting to approach the Templars raise their hands, those wanting to help the Mages put their hands on the table. Whichever choice gets the majority of votes is the one we stick with.... or something like that..."I trailed off awkwardly. Everybody in the room was staring at me in variation of surprise to amusement. "What? What did I say?"

"No! It's nothing," Josephine said quickly a pleased smile spreading across her face. "I think it's a good idea, very reasonable."

"Agreed," Leliana said.

Cullen and Cassandra nodded their assent while I watched them all suspiciously.

_Why were they all looking at me like that?_

I stood and walked forward joining the heads of the Inquisition as they stood around the table. I hovered between Cullen and Cassandra, suddenly feeling nervous about the outcome and wondering if this was the right course of action. I didn't doubt for a moment that the Commander would vote to send me to the Templars, likely Josephine would do the same given the political problems going to the Mages may cause. Leliana's intentions were unreadable most of the time but I suspected she would choose to side with the Mages, she seemed sensitive to their plight. Cassandra may not be really sympathetic to the Mages but she was definitely concerned with Magister Alexius and his mysterious cult, The Seeker may have past ties to the Templars but she wasn't the type to let a potential threat just go unaddressed.

And I knew which way I was voting.

"Ok then. On three we vote," I said, making eye contact with everyone in turn to make sure they understood before continuing. "One, two... Three!"

As I suspected both Cullen and Josephine each raised a hand in support of going to the Templars. Mine fell to the table and was joined by Lelianas elegant and gloved hand, but ours were the only ones to land on the map strewn surface. My stomach suddenly felt heavy and I turned to find Cassandra had her hand raised high, her face grim but determined.

_Oh...._

I swallowed thickly and withdrew my hand.

"Alright it's decided then," I said trying hard to hide my disappointment. "We'll go to the Templars at Therinfal Redoubt."

Leliana nodded quietly and stood back to lean against the wall like a shadow, seemingly neither upset nor pleased with the outcome. Cullen seemed to sag with relief while Cassandra pointedly avoided looking in my direction, keeping her darks gaze firmly on the map. She knew I'd be upset by this result and I was, but I couldn't be mad at her. This choice was not supposed to be about what I wanted. The Seeker for whatever reason felt going to the Templars was our best option, I may not agree with her or the result however this was why I suggested a vote in the first place, to get a fair outcome. I had no right to sulk just because it wasn't the one I wanted.

_At least not outwardly_.

I wanted to be calm and graceful in defeat, to not throw a childish tantrum because I didn't get my way. So I bit it all down, my disappointment, sadness, frustration and... my guilt. But just because I suppressed it all didn't mean the feelings weren't swirling around inside me like a volatile twister.

"Excellent! It is decided then." Josephine said already making notes on her clipboard, ready to jump straight into action now we had a direction to focus our efforts on. "I will begin composing the appropriate letters to be sent out straight away. We will need to discuss travel arrangements..."

The Ambassador continued to list things that needed to be organised while I quietly went back to my seat in the corner, forcing a polite smile at Cullen as I walked by and he squeezed my shoulder in a gesture of sympathy. I sat and listened, offering my thoughts when appropriate and acting like nothing was wrong.

But in my minds eyes all I could see were the anxious faces of the terrified Mages I'd met in Redcliffe.

_I'd failed them._

 

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

By midafternoon we had finished in the War Room with plans to depart to Therinfal in four days time, giving the messengers enough time to deliver Josephine's missives to the Nobles. I'd been told I would not be needed for any further planning and was excused to go head back to my cabin and rest. I couldn't rest though, I was too wound up. Instead I had made a brief stop by my quarters before retrieving Falcon from the stables and rode out past the last line of Inquisition tents and into the woods that bordered Haven.

It wasn't like me to ride off unaccompanied. While I liked having time to myself I wasn't stupid, I knew I was being targeted and it just wasn't safe for me outside of Havens walls without at least one of my friends nearby to watch my back. But for once I didn't really care. I wanted to be alone or as alone as was possible given the undoubtable presence of several Inquisition agents I knew would be shadowing my every move from a distance. Usually their presence was reassuring if a little unnerving, knowing I was being watched constantly and never actually being able to see the person watching you was kind of creepy after all, even if it was for my protection. However today it just felt stifling. Like I was a lamb constantly being herded by invisible sheep dogs, it was so... controlling. Suffocating.

I had ended up making my way to a small clearing close to a logging stand that had been set up near to Haven for easy access to lumber. Cullen had taken me here a handful of times to train away from the prying eyes of villagers and soldiers alike, though I had noticed on most these occasions the Commander seemed to be in a far grimmer and sullen mood than usual at the beginning of our sessions. I suspected when we trained here it was as much an escape for him as it was for me. Being in charge of an army was hard and stressful work after all and out here away from the noise and disturbances of Inquisition troops and runners it was easier to forget for awhile why we were here. Cullen always seemed more at ease by the time we'd finished too.

We'd set up several training dummies at one side of the clearing and had even hung what could only be described as a human shaped punching bag made of old bed rolls from one of the lower tree branches. These training aids were the reason I had come here.

Because it didn't matter if I hurt them.

Raising a borrowed long bow up and knocking my thirty fifth arrow in place I let out a shaky tight exhale and aimed yet again for the middle target.

"Come on you stupid..." I growled under my breath and let loose watching as the arrow soared through the air and embedded itself into a distant tree alongside several other arrows that had missed their mark.

I sucked in an angry breath through gritted teeth and reached for another arrow, the last in the quiver.

_Last chance then, get it right you idiot. Don't fail at something else you useless, stupid girl-_

I fired, aiming for that same dummy as before. The arrow went wide striking the end dummy right between its eyes.

"ARGH!!!!" I let out a frustrated yell and threw the bow into the snow. "GOD DAMN IT! Why won't you just do as you're supposed to you stupid flying pointy stick!"

Over by the edge of the clearing Falcon raised his head from where he'd been snuffling at a patch of long grace at the base of the tree he was tethered to. The big horse seemed to look towards all the arrows strewn haphazardly across the clearing before shaking his head and nickering in amusement.

"Oh shut up," I snapped walking over to the Ferelden Forder and retrieving my staff from where I'd had it resting besides the tree. "I'd like to see you do better."

Fal snorted and stared at me with his big dark eyes as if to say 'Are you stupid, I'm a horse for fucks sake. I don't have hands!'

Un phased by my mounts apparent distain I stormed over to the hanging bed roll human and gave my staff a few pre-fight twirls, reacquainting myself to the feel on the smooth wood beneath my hands and the balance of the heavy globe at its top through to the end of its blunted tip. I twisted it over one hand then the other, walking in small circles to practice my foot work as I spun my weapon in circles in front of me, first slow but gaining speed with each turn. Soon I was swinging it around my head in measured and controlled whirls and flicks, passing it from one and to the other, overhead, to the side, behind my back, over my shoulders and around my neck. Moving my body with the sure and practiced moves of a deadly dance, one I never intended to use to its full potential. With a furious yell I threw myself at the dummy, using all the strength I could muster to rain blow after blow at the fake human making the heavy thing swing slightly with each successful hit.

"Stupid Templars," I seethed between exhausted grunts and pants. "Stupid Nobles. Stupid politics and prejudice. Stupid Mages and their stupid choices and the stupid Magister! Damn you Alexius you creepy ass evil bastard and your freaking cult and stupid pointy outfit. Why couldn't you go find another country to terrorize huh? Why couldn't you leave them alone?! Leave me alone! Why? Why me.., Why did I suggest a stupid vote? Stupid! Stupid, pathetic, useless, weak Idiot! Why can't I...? Why can't I do better?! Why can't I get anything right?!"

My voice cracked going hoarse and strained, I blinked rapidly feeling telltale angry tears burning at the corner of my eyes. Brushing them away with the back of my hand I renewed my efforts, determined not cry and using my frustration at the silly pathetic weakness to further fuel my angry attacks. I struck the dummy harder hearing the harsh whomp-whump of each strike on the thick material and feeling my arms and shoulder burn with the strain.

"Damn it!" I chanted angrily. "Damn it. Damn it. Damn. Shit. Crap, shit, F-FUCK!"

With one last animalistic cry I threw my staff to the side and viciously shoved the dummy causing it to swing away with force. Winded I bent forward, hands to my knees and whole body trembling with the effects of my adrenalin. Panting painfully and choking back sobs, I forgot about the heavy swinging punching bag until it inevitably swung back and collided with my hip and sent me sprawling into the snow.

For a moment I lay there. Breathing heavy I ran a trembling hand back through my hair in a gesture of pure helplessness and aggravation. Even after all that my mind was still in turmoil.

I thought about the young elven Mage from Redcliffe, Lysas, with his pale anxious face and fear filled eyes.

_"I-I hope you can do something_." He'd said to me, full of desperate and fear driven hope. _"Tying ourselves to Tevinter...? That can't be the right way to end this."_

I groaned and clamped my eyes tight trying desperately to push him and the other Mages to the back of my mind. But it was useless, his image just swam back to me, his despairing words almost like a proper sound instead of an echo in my mind.

_"Come to save us from the wrath of the Templars, they said. But this doesn't feel like safety."_

_... doesn't feel like safety...._

"Stop it!" I hissed out loud, roughly throwing myself back onto my feet and reaching for my staff.

"Stop thinking," I ordered myself and recommenced my angry swings at the dummy. "You can't help them, just give up already."

"Can't help who?"

I shrieked in surprise and whirled around, fumbling to raise my staff in a defensive position only to drop it and find myself staring wide eyed at Solas's impassive features as the Mage stood just over a metre away, leaning against his own staff.

_Nice. Real smooth Evie, YOU UTTER DORK!_

"S-Solas," I stuttered out, running a flustered hand back through my hair and trying to discretely tidy up my rumpled post work out appearance before belatedly realising what I was doing and why making myself presentable for him was no longer really necessary.

Ever since the morning we'd caught Solas coming out of that woman's tent I'd been deliberately avoiding the elf at all cost, unable to face him without fear of saying or doing something stupid that would reveal my feelings of disappointment and pathetic longing. It was silly but I didn't know how to act around the man anymore. I was afraid even the most mundane of conversation with him would have me blurting out something I shouldn't or worse prying into the Mages love life and finding out just how perfect this new women was then having to force myself to be happy for him. So to avoid further pain and humiliation I decided that distancing myself from the apostate was the best course of action, at least until I got over my one sided crush. Make a clean break so I could heal, so to speak.

Staying away from Solas turned out to be unexpectedly easy as the elf hadn't been round to my cabin even once to visit as he normally did. Apparently whatever happened over the festival had changed the Mages mind about spending as much time with me as he had been. Maybe I had done something awful while I was drunk or maybe after meeting that elf maiden he'd lost any interest in me all together. At first I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I was relived because it made avoiding an awkward confrontation much easier but at the same time I was disappointed each time I opened my door and found someone else on the other side. Truthfully I missed Solas, missed just being able to talk to him about everyday things or hear him go on about what he'd witnessed in the Fade.

It was pathetic and I really needed to stop with this simpering school girl crush. It wasn't healthy.

Coughing to clear my throat I spent a moment bending down to pick up my staff and used that brief time to compose myself.

_Just be cool Evie, or at least pretend to be._

"What are you doing out here?" I asked somehow managing to sound indifferent despite a sudden swarm of nervous fluttering butterflies in my stomach.

"I was out for a walk, the busyness of Haven gets rather overbearing in at times," he answered still looking at me with that piercing level gaze.

"Oh, that sounds nice. Please don't let me distract you," I replied offhandedly and turned back around to the dummy. With a casual twirl of my staff, just to prove how cool and unaffected by his presence I was, I picked up where I left off and thrust my staff into the padded and bulging target then proceeded to whack it around the neck and shoulders a few times.

"My apologies Evelyn, it seems I've caught you at a bad moment." Solas said to my back, somehow making the apology both sincere and chastising for my abrupt tone. "You've had a hard day I take it."

I shrugged and continued hitting the dummy, wanting more than anything to just confide my troubles with the elf but knowing that would be counterproductive to the whole clean break plan. I relied on him too much for this kind of thing.

_Just go away_ , I thought bitterly _. Leave me to hurt in peace before I got the ridiculous idea that you care about me again._

"And you are taking out your frustration on that mannequin I take it." The Mage added dryly, the rustle of clothes and crunch of snow under foot indicating that the man was slowly inching closer to where I stood.

I shrugged again, feeling my resolve start to crack as the elf came to a stop just a foot from where I stood.

"Seems to work for Cassandra and Bull when they're upset."

"Yes. But is it working for you?"

"Sure it is," I said with forced cheeriness, stubbornly refusing to look his way and taking a few more swings. "I feel great already!"

As I raised my staff high and over my shoulder for another clout across the dummies head my downward swing was abruptly interrupted when it snagged on something. When I realised what, or more appropriately _who_ , had caught a hold of my weapon I narrowed my eyes but refused to turn around. I tried again with more force to yank my staff free only to have Solas sigh in exasperation, his grip on the glorified stick holding strong. Refusing to acknowledge his presence I stubbornly made a third attempt to get free, this time the elf tired of my silent treatment and pulled back himself. The force and the direction of his counter pull sent me spinning unsteadily around to face him with a yelp. Off balance I staggered, then righted myself glaring peevishly at the elf as he smirked cockily down at me, holding the end of my staff with one hand while I gripped tightly to its middle with both of mine.

_One hand, one freaking hand! He managed to stop my attack and pull me off balance single handed. Literally!_

And I'd just been thinking about how much my combat skills had improved.

"What?!" I snapped.

Solas raised an unamused eyebrow.

"Yes I can see how hitting that training dummy for the last thirty minutes has done you the world of good."

"And what would you know about how I feel anyway." I growled trying to yank my staff from his grip again to no avail. The man was infuriating! Here I was trying to unwind and sort out my thoughts in peace and he waltzes in, basically undermines all the hard training I've done over the last months and assumes to know what's good for me! If he knew that then maybe the stupid bald Mage wouldn't have crawled into bed with some floozy elf bitch!

_Whoa!... Where had that come from?_

"I know you better than you think." Solas said voice losing its sharpness and going soft, his tone and his eyes full of sympathy. "Well enough to know how much you abhor senseless violence and aggression. There for it stands to reason that aggressive acts such as beating up a helpless training dummy are going to do little to calm whatever it is that bothers you."

_Well.... Damn it._

I stared at him, at first struggling to come up with an angry retort. But there was none, he was right. He was always bloody right. Feeling the last of my restraint crumble to dust under his scrutiny my shoulders dropped and my hands fell numbly to my side, fingers sliding meekly off my weapon that he still held.

"How do you do that?!" I asked softly. "You read me like picture book Solas, it's not fair. I barely even understand me for Gods' sake. Yet you...."

He smiled crookedly.

"I'm very observant da'len, and you have a very expressive face."

"I thought Bull was the observant one?"

"Iron Bull does not have the monopoly on being perceptive," He replied casually taking my staff over to where Falcon was tied and set both mine and his up against the tree before turning around with his arms crossed. "And you are trying to steer conversation away from the topic."

_Well it had been worth a shot._

I shuffled my feet in the snow. Telling Solas what was bothering me felt like a very bad idea. I already seemed to rely on him for this kind of emotional support and guidance far more than I should. And I was trying to put some much needed distance between us.

"Aren't you sick of me complaining to you about every little thing?"

"If I was then I would hardly be offering my aid now would I?" Solas sighed tiredly. "You can talk to me da'len, what is it that troubles you so?"

"I... it's nothing," I said, almost but not able to bring myself to divulge. "I'm just being stupid."

"You are many things Evelyn but very rarely are you stupid." The elf said more firmly.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"You're joking right? I thought you said you knew me. Maybe you have me confused with another Evie Treval... One whose life isn't a complete disaster."

Solas frowned, deep furrows appearing between his brows depicting both concern and deep thought.

"This is more than your usual lack of confidence Evelyn. I'm beginning to worry. What happened?"

I sighed in resignation. Solas was going to hear about the Inquisitions plan soon enough any way. I could keep it superficial; keep it about the organisations plans and not about myself and my feelings.

No need to get myself even more invested with the man.

"It's been decided that the Inquisition is going to try and talk the Templars into aiding us." I revealed dully, walking over to the tree and sinking down to sit at its base and lean my head back tiredly against the rough bark. "In four days I'll be going to Therinfal redoubt with a bunch of Orlessian Nobles. We aren't going to the Mages."

"I see," Solas replied with a small sigh and a regretful shake of his head.

I didn't want to vent all my frustration to the apostate. Really I didn't. But it seemed it was to be the running theme for the day that I was not to get what I wanted. The damn broke the moment Solas raised those piercing eyes back to mine and all I could see was the same sorrow and hopelessness that I felt reflecting right back at me.

"I wanted to help them," I blurted out passed the golf ball sized lump developing in my throat. "I wanted to help them so bad Solas. And it feels like I've abandoned them. The Mages don't deserve this. And yet I'm powerless to do anything!"

"It's not your fault Evelyn-" He tried to calm only to have me cut him off sharply.

"But that's exactly it. It is my fault! I was so sure I'd convinced enough people that the Mages were the right choice. And I suggested the vote... and it went wrong. I should have tried harder, been more convincing or clever. Been stubborn and stood my ground... something. It wasn't enough."

"Evelyn you cannot blame yourself, you do not control the Inquisition or the minds that lead it. The fact you tried to convince them to turn to the Mages is more than most would attempt given the circumstances. What more could you have done?" Solas reasoned coming to kneel in front of where I sat. "As remarkable as you are you are just one woman, and you cannot save them from a Tevinter cult by yourself."

I laughed cynically.

"Yeah, believe me I'm well aware of that. I can't seem to do anything here without having to rely on someone."

"That's not what I meant," the elf said scowling at me.

"I know." I replied, giving him a small reassuring smile. "But that doesn't make it any less true."

Solas continued to frown at me.

"I'm not sure I like this negative and self- hating side to you Evelyn. It's not like you."

"I don't think I like it much either," I admitted softly. Self doubt was a normal part of everyday life, and while I'd always battled with a lack of confidence I'd figured I usually did a pretty good job of keeping it mostly under control. But with everything that had transpired my unsureness was turning into something darker. It scared me, I didn't want to be that kind of person but at the same time it was hard not to dwell on every mistake and disaster that seemed to follow my every move of late.

We fell silent. Both lost in our own musings for a while and waiting for the other to speak first, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but we knew this conversation wasn't over. Solas eventually decided to quietly take a seat by my side while I played idly with a few strands of stubborn grass that refused to let the snow keep it buried.

_Funny, even the lawn was being stronger than I was._

As usually Solas's patience won out and I was the first to talk.

"I did think about it you know?" I said quietly, brushing a small portion of snow away to reveal more blades of grass determined to find fresh air and not be suffocated. "About doing something by myself. I thought that maybe if I just left I could force the Inquisitions hand. I could just go to Redcliffe and hand myself over to Alexius in exchange for their freedom."

I could feel the elf stiffen at my side in alarm and I let out a soft laugh.

"Don't panic Solas." I reassured, cutting my eyes to look briefly at his scowling face. "I realised as soon as I thought it how foolish an idea that was. The Mark is needed to close The Breach and by extension so am I. As much as I'd want to, handing myself over would help no one in the long run. But even so I thought about it. And I realised something else."

"What did you realise?" he asked almost reluctantly.

I slowly ran my hand over the snow, sweeping it across and reburying the grass I'd exposed.

"That even if I wanted to I couldn't leave, I doubt I'd get much further away from Haven than we are now without a swarm of Inquisition agents swooping down and escorting me back. They'd be right to do so as well mind you. Staying here and helping is the right thing to do, I know that. But still... it's rather stifling not to have that option available. I may not be the Inquisitions prisoner anymore, but that doesn't make me free does it?"

"You feel caged." Solas summarised looking at me with pity.

"In away, more corralled than anything else I suppose... controlled." I answered feeling my own forehead furrow with thought as I tried to explain. "Like no matter which I try and turn on my own other people keep turning me back to face the direction they want. They have all the power. I didn't think being lead and instructed by other people would bother me so much, God knows I don't want to do the leading myself, but somehow it does."

Sighing heavily I bowed my head and buried my face in my hands in frustration.

"Talk about conflicting emotions... I'm such a mess." I mumbled from beneath my fingers.

Solas shifted besides me and soon I felt his long fingers wrapping gently around my wrists, coaxing my hands away from my face so he could look directly into my eyes.

"No one can truly control you da'len," He said firmly. "Not without you allowing it."

"But what can I do?" I despaired. "The decisions been made, we can't side with both the Templars and the Mages."

The apostate didn't let go of my hands as he lowered them to my lap, instead he began to run his thumbs in soothing little circles over the inside of my wrists. I felt my breath hitch and had to really fight to remain focussed on what Solas was saying.

"Not openly perhaps," he said. "But you are a smart women Evelyn, I know you will think of something."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" I asked bewildered. "I've never done anything to deserve it."

He smiled kindly and said simply.

"Because I know you."

I felt my cheeks heat and glared reproachfully at Solas.

"Again with the sweet talking, it's not fair. And that's not a valid answer."

This time it was the elfs turn to shrug casually.

"It's a very valid answer in my opinion." Solas replied with a charming one sided smile before standing gracefully and holding out a hand to help me to my feat. "I believe you will find a solution, you just need to stop dwelling on what's gone wrong and focus and what can be done. In the meantime I suppose we will need to ready ourselves for another trip."

I froze, my hand inches from taking his.

"Actually Solas," I mumbled, bringing my hand up to push some loose hair back behind my ear and looking away from his face guiltily. "The others felt it might not be the wisest thing for you to come with us to Therinfal and.... I kind of agree with them."

The Mages facial expression shifted into an unreadable mask of impassive indifference but his eyes quickly betrayed his feelings, the smiling warmth left his blue gaze in an instant and was replaced with hurt then cold anger. He retracted his hand and stood stiffly, slapping snow from his knees and looked decidedly towards the tree line.

"I see," he said coldly. "The Mage cannot be trusted to keep the peace with the Templars. Very well then..."

I stood quickly and hurried over to his side when he began to walk away.

"Solas it's not like that," I said kindly, trying to catch hold of his arm only to be shrugged off.

"No need to explain," he continued icily. "After all I've made my thoughts on The Circle known, clearly that means as a Mage I cannot control myself around my would be jailors, I may attack them on sight!"

"Let me explain," I pleaded in a panic. Hating the way his hard gaze seemed to burn right through me, I'd never been on this side of Solas's rapier tongue and ire. It was not a pleasant place to be.

"Maybe I will deliberately cause trouble and cause the alliance to fall through for my own selfish means," The Mage continued to rant. "I obviously have yet to gain the Inquisitions trust despite all I have risked in coming here."

"Solas please!"

"Or perhaps my presence will be unwelcome amongst the Nobles," he suggested cuttingly. "Is that it? Will the Inquisition bow to the whims of those who oppress my kind? If the shape of my ears is going to exclude me from taking part in important missions then maybe I should have them cut-"

_Oh that is it!_

Reaching down with shaking hands I gathered a large fist full of snow.

"Enough!" I yelled and promptly threw the icy clump at the ranting elf, hitting him on the side of his shiny bald head. Solas stilled and turned slowly to look at me with a mixture of fury and surprise. I stared back hotly feeling my hands tremble with anger.

"Will you listen to me already?!" I yelled picking up another handful and holding it up threateningly. "All those pretty words about _knowing me_ and _trusting me_ yet this is how you react. I can't believe you'd think I'd agree to any of those reasons to exclude you from anything you stupid moron!"

I was angry now. Clearly he didn't mean any of those sweet words he'd used on me before if the Mage believed I could think like that. He didn't know me at all.

"Then wha-" Solas started only to be interrupted when I threw my second snowball at him, hitting the elf right in his open mouth.

"No, you butt hole! How dare you even suggest that I ... urgh! The reason I don't want you going with me is because I would be taking an illegal Mage to a bunch of potentially hostile Templars. I'm not putting my apostate in danger like that, you dumb ass!"

" _You're_ trying to protect me?" He stared at me incredulously, snow still dripping off his chin.

"YES!" I cried. "You've been running from the Templars your whole life do you really think I would drag you to their front step. Are you insane! If something goes wrong who do you think they will target first? Not only are you an apostate Solas but you've never even set foot in a circle. Vivienne may be a bitch but she has friends in the right places who will not tolerate anything happening to her. But apart from the Inquisition you don't have that kind of support to fall back to. And let's face it while I love your area expertise your fascination with the Fade is not going to endear you to the Templars. They'd probably turn you tranquil on the spot!"

"You don't have to worry about me da'len," Solas said softly and walking back towards me, wiping snow from his face as he did. "I can take care of myself."

"But that's just it, I do worry and so do the others." I said firmly holding my ground on this one. "I don't want to imagine the horrible things they could do to you Solas."

"You might need my assistance," He reasoned.

I shook my head.

"Vivienne can handle the magic stuff this time, she's more than capable."

"You mean to replace me then," Solas quipped trying to look hurt but I was seeing right through his attempt to guilt me into taking him.

"No one can replace you Solas," I said quietly, looking up at him sadly from beneath my lashes. "Which is exactly why I can't take you, it's not worth the risk. I'm not risking you."

He huffed, crossed his arms across his chest and tried to stare me down. However I wasn't budging, not on this one. Solas may have unintentionally hurt me the other day but he was still my friend and I cared about him.

With a defeated sigh the elf let his arms fall.

"It seems there is no way to sway you this time Evelyn."

I smiled wryly.

"Not this time, no." I looked up at him hopefully. "But I would feel better about leaving you here if you forgive me."

"I fear I should be the one asking for forgiveness," he admitted sheepishly. "My outburst was uncalled for and inappropriate. I'm sorry da'len."

"It's ok," I said then frowned reproachfully at the taller man. "But if you ever even hint at cutting off your ears again I'll do more than just hit you with a snowball. Understood?"

"Understood," He chuckled with that charming smirk in place. I felt my stomach do a pleasant little flip flop and grinned stupidly back at him. We stood like that for a few moments, just staring and smiling.

_He's so damned attractive_ , I thought to myself. _With his piercing eyes, and lush mouth and that jaw line! I could cut diamonds with those angles. It's too bad he didn't seem interested anymore._

My stomach fell at the memory and I was reminded sharply of why I hadn't wanted to divulge any of this to the elf. Yet again I'd had a problem and again, he'd been the one to give me support and save me from myself. It was another display of Solas's finer attributes that drew me to him.

_And he didn't want me back_.

It hurt a new and the pain must have shown on my face.

"Is there something else bothering you Evelyn?" The Mage asked in concern.

_Yes. Did you sleep with that merchant? Do you love her? What does she have that I don't? Why wasn't I good enough?_

"No," I answered dully. "It's nothing."

Clearly realising he'd managed to pull enough confessions from me for one day Solas didn't pry any further. And for that I was beyond grateful. Instead he silently helped as I gathered up the mess of arrows I'd left littering the clearing. It only took a few minutes but those minutes were tense, I couldn't help stealing glances over at the elf as he bent over to pick up the scattered projectiles and could feel his own intense stare on me when my back was turned. I wondered if Solas knew how I felt, if that was why he looked at me with such concern and pity. I didn't know what to say to him. By the time we had collected them all and returned back to Falcon Solas decided he was over the silence.

"You said something interesting before Evelyn, I was wondering if you could clarify it for me." he said slowly, his eyes suddenly bright.

"Uh... Sure," I replied uncertainly, turning around and occupying myself with attaching the full quiver to Fals saddle bags.

_That look was just too much! Playful Solas was rare and hard to resist._

His voice pitched low as he stepped closer to my back. "When exactly did I become _your_ apostate da'len?"

"Pardon?" I asked turning to face him in confusion and finding him standing closer than I had thought. I had to look up to properly see his face and was immediately distracted by the dimple in the centre of his chin which was almost at eye level.

_Why did I have the sudden urge to lick it?_

"Before, you said 'I'm not putting _my_ apostate in danger,'" Solas smirked wolfishly. "Rather possessive of you Evelyn."

_Wha-?_

My eyes went huge and the blood drained from my face til I was white as the snow that surrounded us.

_Oh no, OH NO!_

_I didn't say that did I? Did I really blurt out that he was mine, like I owned him? I didn't own Solas, he wasn't mine to get possessive over. He'd made that perfectly clear._

_Get a hold of yourself hormones! Stop making me look pathetic!_

"Favourite!" I blurted out in panic, the blood that had drained from my face moments ago came rushing back in a hot wave of embarrassment. "I meant my favourite apostate. But I was flustered so I forgot to say favourite because you're my favourite apostate. You're not _my_ apostate, no pfft! What?! No way. You're just my... Favourite."

_Nice save brain! Kind of failed on the delivery though._

"Ah, just a slip of the tongue then," Solas replied coolly.

"Exactly!" I replied with more enthusiasm than necessary.

He cocked a disbelieving eyebrow and continued to smirk smugly.

I glared; the effect was probably ruined by my tomato red face.

_Totally busted Evie...._

It was time to end this before I said anything else incriminating.

"W-well it's starting to get late," I said looking up at the dimming sky. "You should probably get back."

His smirk fell, replaced yet again by a frown of concern.

"You're not coming?"

I shook my head and lazily reached up to stroke Falcons neck.

"I think I'm going to stay out just a bit longer. I need to do some thinking, not dwelling."

Solas's face softened and he looked almost proud as he stepped forward once again. He reached out and tucked that forever escaping strand of hair back behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my jaw.

"Don't stay out too late da'len," he cautioned before leaning forward and chastely brushing his lips against my forehead.

I may have 'eeped.'

The Mage stood back, cocky smirk in place. With a comradely pat to my mounts rump Solas collected his staff and left, walking back towards the small town without another word. And I stood staring after him, completely confused and baffled.

_What the fuck was that?!_

Was that affection or pity or even a joke? I couldn't tell. Why was he kissing my head if he had liked another girl? Or was that like a friendly playful big brother thing because if it was.... euw! I didn't want him looking at me like that.

_Why was he so infuriating?!_

Yet even as Solas walked away and grew smaller in the distance I felt my eyes drifting over his lean figure and admiring the way his muscles shifted under the tight material of his pants. All elegant grace and powerful thighs...

_No bad Evie! Stop perving on the man who broke your heart!_

I bit my lip and felt my mouth twist into a very reluctant smile.

_Then again what was wrong with a little look on occasion?_

Fal snorted, bumping me with his nose to gain my attention.

"What?" I said indignantly staring down my mount.

Fal stared right back, big eyes dark and accusing.

"Oh no, you can't judge me mister. You're a horse, you're not allowed to judge."

Fals ear twitched and I swear he rolled his eyes at me.

_Figures, I get a horse and he has attitude problems._

With a sigh I went back to stroking his neck.

Solas was right, I was wallowing in self pity and not trying to come up with a decent solution. I needed to look at this like I would any puzzle. There had to be a solution, I just had to be clever. If I couldn't help the Mages alone then I would need help. So who could help me and what could they do to aid the Mages?

It took me twenty minutes to think of an answer, then fifteen minutes to ride back to the stables and run into Haven.

I found Leliana in her tent in front of the Chantry, the Spy Master was packing away her papers and scrolls into a locked chest for the evening. She looked up calmly as I entered and looked curiously over my rumpled clothes and red face caused by my having run the whole way here.

"Everything alright Herald?" she asked mildly, waiting patiently while I regained my breath.

"I want to help the Mages," I puffed staring the Bard right in her steely eyes.

Her porcelain face barely betrayed any emotion, even her eyes showed very little of the regret I knew she was feeling.

"As do I," Lelianas replied in a clipped tone. "However you heard what was said today. We cannot openly support both the Mages and Templars.

I grinned widely.

"Good thing we don't have to do it openly then?"

That got her attention, her light blue eyes suddenly sparked with interest and the red head stood to lean casually against the tents support pole.

"Alright then Evie, I'm listening. What is it you want to do?"

I launch enthusiastically into my plan and soon Leliana was nodding along in agreement and offering suggestions of her own as we worked together to iron out the finer details.

For the first time it wasn't the Mark that was contributing to the Inquisitions cause. It was me, I was finding a way to reach out and control something important to me.

And it felt fantastic.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if many people are going to be happy about the whole Templar thing, but Evies not the Inquisitor.... at least not yet. She can't make these calls by herself and this felt like the most realistic way the story would progress. Plus it ties in to later plot points.  
> Happier stuff coming up next. So stay tuned.  
> Also give your loved one a big hug. Because life happens and sometime you should remind them that you love them.


	38. Letters and Lockets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Dear Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of the demon infested Chantry in Redcliffe...'
> 
> With her plan to help the Mages finalised and ready to go Evie sets out on the road to Therinfal, but not before she has one last confrontation with a certain elven apostate and an interesting conversation with the Inquisitions Spymaster....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Back again. Not much to say this time except that I hope you all enjoy. Don't want to give much away but I think this chapter might make a few of you very happy.....

## Letters and Lockets ##

 

 

 

I left my cabin just after dawn on the day of our departure, rubbing sleep from my eyes and trying to stifle more yawns than should be humanly possible for one person to produce. Even with the thick layers of my usual travel gear and cloak it was cold, my breath fogging up in clouds before my eyes and my body shivered with each breeze. Winter should be long over but it seems it never left Haven alone. I wondered briefly if this was what it was like to live in Antarctica or if the village had ever had an infestation of penguins.

Still, the chill crisp air did wonders in keeping me awake and alert as I trudged tiredly in the direction of the stables. With a large pack of spare clothes and other essentials strapped tightly to my back along with my staff I was as ready as I'd ever be for yet another trip. Therinfal was apparently a three day ride from Haven, by the time we arrived all the Nobles we'd asked for aid would likely already be waiting for us which meant we'd have little time to recover from the journey. Needless to say I was not exactly looking forward to the long expedition but seeing as Thedas lacked trains or buses our options were limited.

Despite my reluctance to set out again and leave the comfort of my cosy cabin I actually felt secretly hopeful about this mission. If this worked out well then The Breach could potentially be fixed within the next fortnight. It was hard to imagine the people of Thedas finally being rid of the disaster which had literally been hovering over their heads for months now. They could be at peace, safe! And I'd never have to fight another demon again! No more travel to uncomfortable places, painful pulses from my freaky hand and the Inquisition could move on to clearing my name and finding out who really killed The Divine.

Of course this was just one potential outcome. We could also fail miserably and return with our proverbial tails between our legs and have to start all over again. The very thought of everything coming apart when we were so close to fixing things had me breaking out into a cold sweat.

_Think positive Evie,_ I firmly thought to myself. _Nobody needs you putting a downer on things. This will work. After all, how hard could convincing a bunch of Holy Knights to help save the world really be? That was their job. It'd be like trying to convince and pop star to sing._

If I was going to be anxious about anything it was my own hair brained scheme to aid the Rebel Mages without all of Thedas finding out. Now there was a plan in which anything could go wrong.

I couldn't help but nervously take out the carefully composed letter I was to hand over to Leliana before we left. Embarrassingly this was my tenth and final attempt at putting my request to paper, nine other copies lay crumpled and smouldering in my dying fireplace after being used as kindling. Not only had I struggled to find the proper words to express what I needed to but I wasn't used to having to write such a large amount without the use of a keyboard and spell check, the modern age had pretty much ruined my hand writing skills. I hadn't needed to actually write out so many paragraphs since my year twelve English essay and my spelling hadn't improved much since then. But this was important, possibly the most important letter I would ever write. So much relied on this simple message having its intended effect and I was determined to make this work.

Unfolding the paper for the fifth time already today I reread my work yet again, trying to reassure myself that it was perfect, or at least as perfect as I could get it.

**Dear Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of the demon infested Chantry in Redcliffe.**

**I hope this letter finds you well, in fact I hope this letter finds you at all. While you did imply you would be in contact we had no real way to send word to you ourselves. I hope you don't mind us taking the liberty of finding out your location and delivering this to you. These agents are some of the Inquisitions best and with luck they will get this message to you quickly and without incident.**

**Even so I fear by the time you'll be reading this I will likely be negotiating terms of alliance with the Templars and news of this will have spread to where you are. Funny how gossip can travel quicker than a letter if it's juicy enough. This revelation will likely not put the Inquisition in a positive light from The Free Mages point of view and I can understand that completely. Unfortunately it was felt that the Templars were our quickest and safest option with regards to closing the Breach, we simply do not have the forces or the political standing to take on a Tevinter Magister openly.**

**I know how this decision might be perceived, that we are ultimately siding with the Templars in this seemingly never ending feud. And I can't fault the Mages for thinking that, in their position I'd likely believe the same thing. But this is not the case. Our purpose is to close the Breach and find the ones responsible for the Divines death. The Templars aid is just the easiest way to achieve the first step of this. It does not mean the order is not under suspicion.**

**I also know that the situation in Redcliffe is dire. That many of the Mages taking refuge there are scared and unhappy with their fate as indenture slaves to a Tevinter Magister and they likely don't even know about Alexius's involvement in this Venitori cult you spoke of. And while we cannot openly seek aid from both sides of this rebellion I simply cannot stand by and watch innocent people suffer in fear because of things they can't control.**

**The Mages deserve better, they deserve a chance at a proper life and freedom and we want to help them. But we can't do it alone, which is why I've written to you Dorian.**

**Once this letter has been delivered to you these agents will be infiltrating Redcliffe in the hopes of discreetly spreading word of another option for the Free Mages. Any Mage of any age or level of skill wishing sanctuary from both the Templars and Magister Alexius are welcome to seek it within the Inquisition. Once we have the Templars aid they will have no sway in touching anyone under our protection, including any Mages within our ranks. They will not be forced to fight, just asked to aid us in whatever way they can and be willing to work in a team with all our forces and allies. We also ask is that those who come to us are open to peaceful and fair negotiation about the future of the circles when the time come. I do not condone anyone being forced into prison a like environment just because they were born gifted, everyone deserves to be safe and have their freedom but at the same time the dangers of magic cannot be ignored. There has to be a fair compromise, for both sides.**

**We're assuming that Alexius will likely be rather unhappy with the Inquisition trying to basically steal his new recruits out from under his nose which is why this is being done in a covert manor by some of the best infiltrating agents in all of Thedas (or so I've been assured). Our men and women will spread the word and assist as many people to escape Redcliffe to a safe place in a way that won't raise suspicion. This will go a lot easier with somebody on the inside diverting Alexius's attention or possibly a former student of his giving us insight to how he thinks.**

**I realise I am asking a great deal from you Dorian, particularly after you have already done so much for us. I am and will be forever grateful for your warning of Magister Alexius's intentions, you very likely have saved my life by telling me at great risk to your own and that of your friends. And this was all without you even knowing me.**

**However I fear I must ask for your aid and in doings so possibly put you and Felix in danger once again. This is neither your problem nor your responsibility, so I can understand if you refuse. But the Mages don't deserve to be used as pawns in whatever game this Venitori is playing. I don't ask for my benefit I ask for theirs.**

**Any help you could lend us would be appreciated beyond words. Even if you could just slow down Alexius's plans and delay things until I can get there to confront him. If you can do this for us I give you my word that as soon as The Breach is sealed I will see to this Venitori and deal with Alexius and his tampering with time. Even if I have to ride there myself without the Inquisitions support.**

**It goes without saying that we need to keep this plan from Magister Alexius at all cost for it to succeed. And it occurs to me now there is a chance you may decide to hand this information over to him to regain his favour. I know several people who will likely be very upset with me when they find out I've approached you with this at all. After all what do we really know of you, or you of us? But I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character and I want to trust you. Don't ask me why, I don't really know myself (I suspect it may have something to do with that excellent moustache of yours). I'm taking a risk but I have confidence it will work out. Please don't prove me wrong.**

**Yours in good faith.**

**Evie Treval.**

**(The one with the glowing green hand.)**

Biting my lip with uncertainly I refolded the letter and carefully put in back in one of my many pockets. It was too late to change anything now, even if it wasn't perfect it would have to do. My hope was that with a little convincing the Mages would choose to flee Redcliffe and away from the reaches of this Magister and whatever twisted plan he had, giving us time to sort things out with the Templars before going to confront Alexius. My concern was that the many of the Mages would stay out of loyalty to Grand Enchanter Fiona and her choices or because they believed us to on the same side as the Templars. I realised that with this plan I wouldn't be able to help all of them, but anyone we could save would be worth it.

It was better than abandoning them at any rate.

By the time I arrived at the stables most of my party members were already prepping their mounts. Cassandra and Blackwall stood by their horses, seemingly ready to go while Vivienne stood just inside the doors giving the stable hands stern looks as she ordered them about. I'd passed Bull giving his men last minute instructions on my way here. The only other person missing from the travelling group was Sera who probably wouldn't be too much longer. The archer was a trouble maker but even she knew the importance of leaving on time for a trip like this. Varric had opted to stay behind on this mission stating he'd seen enough of Templar related dramas in Kirkwall.

Even with his absence and that of our resident Fade expert it was still a rather big group. We weren't expecting any violence from the Templars, it was suppose to be negotiation after all not a takeover, Even so we planned for the worst. Cassandra, Blackwall and Bull could go toe to toe with any other melee fighter Thedas could throw at us and would be more than able to hold their own against Templars who were trained to fight Mages, not so much other warriors. Plus with the added skills of Sera and Vivienne's ranged attacks we had covered most every angle. Vivienne would also be instrumental in dealing with the politics of the Orlessian Nobles we would be meeting, a role I certainly didn't envy. Yet even with all the incredibly competent people I was travelling with I couldn't help but feel slightly anxious about the trip, though my safety wasn't really the point of my concern.

This was going to be the first time I'd leave Haven without Solas and Varric joining me. The thought left me feeling rather sad. I didn't know what I'd do for such a long journey without the dwarfs stories and humour to distract me. And for some stupid reason, even after my resolution to stay away from the elven Mage, the prospect of not seeing Solas for more than a week made me feel rather hollow.

_Well, maybe the separation would do me some good. Get him out of my system for a bit._

After a quick good morning to the others I went into the stables to help get Falcon saddled and ready to leave. Sera arrived as I was securing my bed roll to Fals saddle and soon she and Blackwall were getting her own mount ready to go. When I came back out again with my faithful mount in toe it was to find Leliana had joined Cassandra by the horses and was speaking quietly to the Seeker. I was about to walk over and join the two when someone else caught my attention.

Leaning up against the same out cropping of rock that I'd lounged on the day after the festival was the very elf I'd just been thinking of. Solas stood reclining casually against the rocky structure, legs crossed at his shins and arms resting lazily across his chest, watching the goings on with his usual cool interest. He looked so relaxed and calm, if it wasn't for the fact he was standing upright and had his eyes open one could have easily mistaken the elf for being asleep. But that was Solas, I could hardly expect anything else from him. The Mage was rarely ever flustered, seemingly always in control and comfortable within himself. He was never flashy but he had this quiet dignified composure than even Vivienne couldn't quite match. Despite the simple or shabby clothes he often wore there was something almost regal about the man.

And damned if that wasn't really, really, ridiculously attractive.

When he saw me exit the stables the Mages mouth twitched into a smile and he summoned me over with a subtle tilt of his head.

Smitten fool that I was I didn't even hesitate.

_I am a weak woman....._

"Come to see us off?" I asked casually when I reached him. "I thought at this hour you'd still be enjoying the Fade. I know I'd rather be."

"It's the least I can do seeing I am unable to aid you in this venture." He replied smoothly, before smiling crookedly. "Besides this may be my last chance to see you for a while da'len, the Fade can wait."

_Oh.... wow!_

I blushed shyly and forced myself not to swoon, resisting the urge to start fanning my face. I realised he probably didn't mean anything by it, Solas was likely just being a polite and concerned friend. Even so my over enthusiastic hormones took his words to heart and inside I was like a giggling crushing teen.

_Hehehe.... he came to see me! I'm more important than his beloved Fade. Eeeee!_

Then I reminded myself that on this very same spot I'd witnessed this man coming out of another women's tent. The effect was like a bucket of cold water that sent those enthusiastic hormones scuttling under a rock for cover and hissing like angry cats. I couldn't let my own wants fool my mind into believing things that weren't real anymore. All these mixed messages I was receiving from Solas would probably seem a lot less confusing if I stopped thinking with the notion he thought of me with something more than friendly affection. I was doing this to myself and it had to stop.

"We won't be gone that long," I replied evenly, keeping things polite and friendly. "Cassandra's confident that we can have this resolved and be back by the end of the week."

"You seem happier about this trip than the last time we spoke," Solas noted curiously. "I take it that means you devised a solution for the problem with the Mages."

"Maybe," I replied trying to sound nonchalant and dodge the question.

Not many were actually aware of the logistics of our covert operation and Leliana wanted to keep it that way. As far as most of the Inquisition knew we were approaching the Templars for aid and that was it. If Alexius found out too soon our agents and the people we were trying to save would be at risk. If the Templars found out then we could kiss their aid and any chance at a peaceful solution to the rebellion goodbye. We were playing a dangerous game here and I wasn't sure how much I could actually divulge to my companions, even someone I trusted as much as I did Solas. I decided it was best to keep the plan to myself for the moment, there were too many people nearby who might over hear and that's how plan destroying rumours start.

Solas raised a knowing eyebrow and smirked.

"I doubt you'd look this content otherwise, you'd likely be dragging your feet, taking your anger out on innocent inanimate objects and glaring at your own reflection at every chance."

I cut my eyes up at the smug elf, glaring half heartedly at his annoyingly accurate prediction of my sulking behaviour. Solas just smiled back calm and unperturbed. Eventually I had to smile back as my pride at solving the Mage dilemma shyly broke through.

"Well, it's not perfect, but I think we can get a few of the Mages away from Redcliffe or at least I hope we can." I admitted softly looking about shiftily for spies that may have been hiding in the snow, listening in. "I'm not supposed to talk about it though it's kind of a secret mission."

He didn't appear shocked or excited; the elfs sharp face just looked knowing and pleased as he smiled down at me, blue eyes shining with pride of his own.

"I'll not pry then." he said before tilting his head to the side slightly, his eyes softening. "I knew you would find a way da'len."

I flushed with pleasure at his words.

"Yes... well," I coughed shyly and looked away. "I probably wouldn't have come up with anything if somebody hadn't given me a little push to stop moping. I'm sorry about that by the way, I was being a bit of a brat that day."

"Think nothing of it, everyone is entitled to an off day or two. You overcame it and that is the important thing."

I smiled up at him gratefully, his kindness and understanding was almost too much to bear. I was about to say something back to the elf when the loud booming rumble of Bulls voice announce his arrival and I was reminded that we were supposed to be leaving very soon. In fact with the Qunaris arrival and all the horses prepped and ready it seemed our group was indeed ready to depart. They were just waiting on me.

I looked back to Solas and bit my lip.

I didn't want to leave him.

_Stop it Evie! Move on girl, he doesn't feel the same and will likely be happy to have you gone so he can go back to banging elf maids in peace._

"Well it looks like that's my cue, we need to get going. I guess I'll see you in a week or so." I sighed heavily and awkwardly began to back away. Only to have him reach out and gently take hold of my hand.

"A moment before you leave Evelyn," He said softly, still smiling happily, almost eagerly now.

In a bid to hide how even that tiny gesture and minor physical contact made my breath hitch and heart race I suspiciously narrowed my eyes at the elf.

"Sure..." I said cautiously. "But it will have to be a quick moment. I can feel Cassandra glaring holes in the back of my head."

He chuckled lowly.

"She can wait for this I'm sure. Hold out your hand and close your eyes da'len, I have something for you."

I frowned darkly at the Mage. The last time anyone had said that line to me I ended up with a very large dead spider placed in my hand courtesy of my brother who was determined to find out just how loud I could scream. Luke wasn't disappointed when my terrified shriek had sent the neighbourhood dogs into a barking frenzy, he was however mildly peeved by the accidental black eye I'd given him when I hastily tried throw the nightmare carcass as far away from me as possible and my flailing hands managed to clip him a smarting blow. Needless to say I was a little apprehensive of a repeat prank but this was Solas, he wasn't likely to give me a spider. Though I did throw snowballs at him and call him several insulting names last we spoke, the elf could be out for revenge.

Or it could just be a gift.

_A Solas gift...._

I swallowed my fear and bravely squared my shoulders before tightly scrunching my eyes closed and holding out my hand. I held my breath.

_Please don't let it be a spider or anything with more than four legs... or anything with legs for that matter._

"Fair warning Solas if it wiggles or moves I will throw it, so it better not be something living." I cautioned nervously.

_Unless it was a puppy.... I could deal with a puppy._

I could hear the Mage laugh softly at my antics then the soft rustle of his clothes as he moved. To my surprise he didn't reach for my extended hand at all, in fact he avoided it completely stepping around and passed my outreached arm to stand within inches of my front. I couldn't help my startled gasp at the sudden closeness, I could sense the hard planes of his chest so close to my own and was breathing in his earthy scent, like old books and lush green forests.

"Hold still da'len," he breathed out softly. "Keep your eyes closed for me."

I swallowed dryly and did as told. Completely overwhelmed by his close proximity, the presence of our friends nearby and likely watching our exchange disappeared from my mind like an errand thought. All I could think of was just how close Solas was and what he was doing. I waited in anticipation my breaths came faster when one of his long elegant hands came up the brush the side of my neck, his clever fingers stroking over my bounding pulse in feather light caresses. He reached around, lightly sweeping my braid to one side and his other hand followed. Soon he was leaning forward and I could feel his lips skimming the shell of my ear.

I whimpered his name on an exhale, my free hand unconsciously coming up to grip the fabric of his shirt and I felt his chest quiver in response as he let out a shaky breath of his own.

Then he abruptly stepped back, not far, but enough to break whatever trance I'd been under. Afraid to see his impartial and controlled face free from the emotions I knew to be flooding my own I kept my eyes closed tight and tried to regain control of my vital organs, mainly my heart and lungs which seemed ready to burst out of my chest. I could feel the Mage take hold of my still out reached hand and gently lift it until those magic lips of his tenderly brushed a slow and linger kiss across the inside of my wrist.

_Oh... oh my! I think I ruined my panties._

"Open your eyes Evelyn," Solas commanded, voice rasping and heady.

_Yes sir, whatever you want sir...._

_Wait, no, bad Evie!_

Blinked dazedly into the suddenly too bright sun rise. I stared uncertainly at the man before me, his hungry stormy gaze meeting mine for the briefest moment before trailing down to my chest.

There, resting perfectly just below my clavicle, was a shining silver pendent that had not been there previously. I gasped out loud and tentatively reached out to hold the piece of jewellery for inspection. It was circular, about the size of a twenty cent coin and thick, maybe just over a centimetre in width. It was surprisingly light for its size, being held up by a fine silver chain that looked flawless, like weaved strands of silver hair. The pendent itself was made up of what appeared to be separate strands of fine silver metal, crafted to look like vines or stems adorned with leaves, thorns and roses and entwined around each other in a graceful tangle. In its centre, carefully held by the vines and leaves was a smooth polished stone, its colour a fierce storm cloud blue/grey that seemed to shift like it was indeed a real life cloud being moved subtly by a gentle breeze.

It was exquisite.

"Solas..." I breathed out shaking my head in disbelief. "It's beautiful. You shouldn't have..."

"Consider it a late Wintersend gift of my own," He said kindly. "After all you gave something to me to remember you by, seems only fair that I do the same."

"But this... Solas it's too much," I protested flustered and enchanted by the gift. "It must have cost you a fortune-"

"It was nothing da'len, I already had the stone and the chain. The hardest part was finding someone willing and able to craft the piece for me," the elf replied waving away my concern easily. "It was fortunate that it was finished in time for your departure today, the courier managed to deliver it to me last night."

"You designed this and had it made!" I exclaimed both impressed and horrified that he would go to such lengths for me.

"Hmmm," he hummed thoughtfully in confirmation and carefully reached out to hold the pendent himself and running his thumb over the smooth surface of the stone. "It turned out quite well I must say. Definitely worth all those hours in that tent arguing with the jeweller; she wanted to use Dawnstone and a ruby instead of Silverite and my stone, but I managed to convince her."

"When did you even have a chance to do this?" I asked in amazement. "For this to have been made in time you'd have had to order during the festival, but I didn't get your gift until later on in the day."

"The morning after actually," he said casually, letting the pendent fall back to my chest. "It took me awhile to hunt down the craftswoman I wanted but I found her eventually. I'm glad I went with silver it suits you Evelyn."

I stared at him in shock, my mind trying to put things together and coming up in a jumbled mess of confusion and desperate optimism.

"The morning after?" I repeated dumbly.

"Yes."

_The morning after the festival, hours in a tent..... craftswoman..._

"Was she by chance an elven jeweller, long dark hair... rather attractive?" I pried hesitantly.

"She was elven, though to be honest I don't recall her appearance." Solas answered, brow furrowed as he tried to recall. "Why do you ask?"

I felt like my chest was about to explode with my swelling hope.

"Was it maybe her tent we saw you coming out of when Sera.... um....called out to you?"

"I believe so. I wasn't in anyone else's tent that day."

"And you were designing this, for me, in her tent... all morning." I pressed trying and failing to sound completely uncaring about the whole thing.

_Please say that was it. Please, please, please, please!_

"Of course," the Mage replied raising his eyebrows at my oddness before a knowing smile graced his mouth. "What did you think I was doing da'len?"

It was like fireworks had been released inside my soul. He hadn't slept with her. I'd been wrong. I'd spent more than a week feeling sorry for myself because of what I'd seen and it had all been a mistake. A stupid misunderstanding caused by jealous assumptions and an inability to just talk to the man I liked. The fact that Solas hadn't had sex with the other women shouldn't even have changed anything: A relationship between the two of us was doomed for heartache even if he did want something with me. But that logic did nothing to stem the flood of joy and relief that threatened to consume me. I had never been happier to have been wrong about something in my life!

_YES! YESYESYESYES, YES! Wait what did he just ask?!_

I could feel myself going red as his question finally registered.

_Oh no._

"P-pardon?" I asked hoping I'd heard him wrong or that maybe he'd take pity on me and not make me answer.

He didn't, Solas's eyes were bright with teasing mirth and his mouth twisted into that eager smirk that was just as infuriating as it was charming.

He was enjoying my discomfort.

_The smug bastard._

"I said: What did you think I was doing Lady Herald?" he repeated slowly drawing out my title mockingly.

_This was because I called you a dumb ass, isn't it?_

"Well, I... you.... and her... and your clothes.... she was. And well... it did look...you know! And... not that I think of you... doing... that... but it did look..... and she was just.... wow and you... I thought..... And when Sera made that comment you didn't exactly deny having... I mean..." I stammered helplessly as the embarrassment got worse and worse, Solas's smirk getting bigger and bigger. I gave up with a resigned sigh. "I'm going to shut up now."

He laughed, not even bothering to hide it. I glared up at the Mage sullenly.

"You've been spending too much time with Sera Evelyn." He chastised good naturedly.

I felt myself heat some more. I wanted to die.

Yet I also wanted to dance around and whoop with unrestrained joy.

"So you didn't ...um, spend the night with her?" I asked hesitantly before quickly adding. "Not that it's any of my business... You don't have to answer that. Forget I said anything."

"If you'll recall I was too busy that night making sure you didn't hurt or accidentally kill yourself in your intoxicated state. I didn't really have the time to do much else." Solas replied dryly.

_Oh jeez! Could this get anymore embarrassing?_

"Actually, no I don't." I admitted sheepishly looking up apologetically. "I don't remember a thing about that night.... Sorry. I didn't realise you had to waste you night keeping me safe. Thank you though, for looking after me. I hope I wasn't too... uh... bad. That was an oddly strange thing to say out loud."

His eyes went wide with surprise.

"You don't remember?"

"No. Why? Oh God what did I do?"

He laughed, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth and shaking his head in gesture of disbelief beyond words.

I felt my panic rising.

"What? What's so funny? Damn it Solas what did I do?!"

Solas choked out a stifled chuckle, his shoulders shaking with the effort to keep in his apparent amusement and held up a finger gesturing that he needed a moment. I stared at him stupefied. I'd never seen him struggle to keep his normally unbreakable composure. It made the travel worn apostate look years younger.

_Good Lord what had I done to make him laugh like that?!_

It must have been bad.

"Nothing da'len," he eventually chortled when the laughing fit had subsided, raising his face skywards for one last disbelieving shake. "It's nothing but my own foolishness, not your own."

"I don't understand," I admitted thoroughly confused by his outburst.

"It doesn't matter. It's in the past." He said before suddenly changing the subject. "Do you like it?"

It took me a moment to realise he was talking about his gift and not the glorious news that he wasn't having sex with random elves. My hand went up unconsciously to trace the elegant designs of the pendent and my chest warmed.

"Of course I do, it's beautiful Solas."

"I'm glad." The Mage said, stepping forward and calmly reaching out to cup the side of my face, sweeping his thumb across my cheek tenderly. His brow furrowed and his expression turned suddenly serious. "It seems I cannot always be by your side to keep you safe Evelyn. It's a poor substitute but the wards on this necklace may provide some protection for you when I cannot. Promise me you won't remove it from your person da'len."

"Wards? What wards? How do they work?" I began to question curiously only to have Solas cut me off.

"Promise me Evelyn." The elf ordered, eyes almost pleading.

I nodded, taken aback by his insistence.

"Ok, I promise."

Solas seemed to sigh and relax with relief. He looked down at me softly as he continued to stroke my cheek.

"Thank you," he breathed.

My heart fluttered and I smiled back shyly. He cared about me, enough to go out of his way to make this stunning piece of jewellery for me. The Mage even went as far as to enchant it for my protection. Apart from my family and a few very close and old friends I'd never had someone go to such length for my benefit. I wanted to say or do something to show my own appreciation but for the life of me no words I could think of came close to doing my feelings justice.

_Kiss him_ , something inside of me whispered. _Just lean up and show him how you feel if you can't tell him._

And I wanted to. I _really_ wanted to. To just wrap my arms around his neck or take hold of his stupidly handsome face and pull him down to me. I wanted to feel his mouth under my own and have him hold me back.

_So just do it! Don't be a pussy Evie. Man up and kiss him!_

I shouldn't, doing so would be cruel for the both of us in the long run.

_But you like him and clearly he likes you. It's not marriage it's a kiss! Screw the consequences! For once live in the moment and take what you want. Kiss the smug bastard!_

I swallowed hard and reached out to cup his jaw, mimicking his own sweet gesture of affection.

"Solas..."

"Come along Herald! We need to get moving."

Cassandras thick accent broke the moment as if she'd bashed it with her shield. I stepped back with a surprised jump and looked about nervously, feeling like I'd been caught red handed stealing from the cookie jar. The others were all mounted and ready to depart, even Leliana who sat elegantly on the back of a small quick looking palomino horse.

"I-I'm coming!" I hastily called over my shoulder before turning back to Solas apologetically. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"I know," he said simply. "Stay safe Evelyn."

"I'll try."

I turned with a small smile of farewell, feeling my heart clench with regret as I did so. I had walked maybe three paces before the feeling became too much and I stopped. With a shaky exhale I squared my shoulders and turned on my heel striding quickly back to the elf to wrap my marked hand around the back of his neck. Ignoring the Mages look of surprise I leaned up onto my tip toes and pulled him down slightly. Then I kissed him, brushing my lips softly against his high, chiselled cheekbones and letting them linger more than would be deemed merely friendly.

"Thank you Solas," I whispered voice sounding breathless even for my own ears. "For the necklace, I love it."

Then before he could respond I was gone. Walking briskly over to Fal and hoisting myself up into the saddle with still trembling legs. Knowing my face would be a burning beacon of embarrassment I avoided looking at any of my companions and gently nudged the big animal forward as the party began to move, ignoring the teasing jibes of Sera and the knowing glances of the others with as much dignity as I could muster.

I only looked back once as we left the village, a fleeting glance that only lasted a second but it was enough to see a very shocked elf still standing where I left him, with one hand held up against the cheek I'd kissed and eyes like storm clouds heatedly watching my retreat.

I couldn't help the pleased smirk and accompanying giggle that escaped me.

Maybe when I returned I might be able to build up from cheek kissing to something a bit more... well more.

 

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The leagues disappeared behind us like dust beneath the horse's hooves as the scenery turned from snowy mountains to green fields. We travelled in a long line, two horses abreast to give room to others using the main roads as we were. Cassandra and Leliana had taken the lead with myself and Vivienne trailing behind them, Blackwall and Sera were talking happily amongst themselves behind us with Bull bringing up the rear on his massive beast. We were quite the interesting parade of travellers, then again with such an odd assortment of people we usually were.

While we journeyed I watched the Seeker and Spymaster curiously as they spoke softly to each other just out of hearing range. They had such an odd friendship. Having clearly worked together for a long time as the Left and Right Hands of the Divine they shared a close camaraderie and shared deep beliefs and trust in their Faith. Yet it was strange how someone as straight forward and to the book as Cassandra was could accept someone as shady and secretive as the former Bard. I supposed the two very different women worked well together in such a contrast, each fiercely strong in their own way.

The Inquisition was lucky to have them both, though technically without either of them it would have likely never been started in the first place. Whatever the future held for the budding organisation, if Cassandra and Leliana remained within its ranks I couldn't imagine there would be much it couldn't overcome.

Leliana was apparently travelling with us for a short distance before meeting up with Scout Harding in a nearby village. There the Spymaster would hand over my letter to be delivered and Harding and her team would continue on the Redcliffe to carry out my plan. I had mixed feelings about Harding being involved. On one hand she had grown up in the Hinterlands and knew the area around Redcliffe better than anyone, she was more than competent for the task of shepherding what Mages we could rescue to a safe place. On the other hand I knew Lace Harding, on the few chances we had to meet and talk she had become a good friend. If my plan went wrong it was her and her comrades whose lives would be at risk. Willingly putting her in danger felt beyond wrong, particularly after she had saved my reputation during the du Rouche disaster. I owed her big time and this felt like a very poor way of repaying the dwarf.

When we came upon a fork in the road our party stopped for a brief lunch and a short rest for the horses. I'd finished my meal and was sitting on a comfortable patch of fresh spring grass admiring the growing field of bright yellow flowers that grew across the way when a shadow fell across my lap. Looking up I found the hooded figure of the Spymaster leaning over me, hands clasped neatly behind her back and her sweet face as unreadable as ever.

"Would care to take a ride with me Lady Herald?" she asked in her lilting accent.

I blinked up at her, stupefied.

_Well... this was unexpected._

While I'd slowly been getting better acquainted with the red haired lady during our few piano sessions below the Chantry we were both still wary of each other, though Leliana hid her distrust better than I. It wasn't that I didn't like the other women, I in fact admired her a great deal, nor was it because she treated me badly, Sister Nightingale was always polite and considerate towards me. It was just I could never figure out if our interactions were genuine or if it was manipulation on her part. I suspected Leliana had yet to decide if I was a threat to her world or not and was therefore keeping her own distance. If I was honest with myself I wasn't sure her concern was entirely unjustified. The sudden invite to go riding alone with the former assassin made me feel uneasy. Leliana never did anything without motive so it stood to reason it was not just a leisurely ride through the countryside she was after.

I looked around at the others, most seemed as confused by the sudden offer as I was though they appeared more curious than concerned. Except for Cassandra. The Seeker was busying herself with her pack deliberately avoiding looking our way.

Something was up, something that bothered the Seeker enough to keep her silent and unprotesting.

And Leliana wasn't likely to reveal what it was, unless it was on her terms.

"Alright, sure," I agreed hesitantly.

"Excellent, we won't be long," Leliana said offering me a hand to stand and looking over her shoulder at the Nevarran. "You should be right to depart in an hour or so Cassandra."

The dark haired women nodded grimly but refused to look my way and my stomach twisted with worry.

_Was I in trouble for something? Was that what was going on here?_

I mounted Falcon apprehensively and Leliana and I set out down the far road. At first we rode in silence then Leliana began to hum softly to herself, the lack of conversation and the almost unconscious display of ease by my current companion was strangely reassuring and gradually my anxiety began to wane. In the rare moment of peace and calm I took a moment to actually look at the Spymaster as she sat poised and elegant atop her horse. Out here in the open with the sun bearing down on her and her mysterious hood lowered and draped about her shoulders Leliana looked younger, the daylight making her pale skin almost glow and her strawberry blood hair shine about her face. I realised suddenly that I'd never seen her out in the light of day before; I'd only ever spoken to the Spymaster inside the walls of the dim Chantry or under the shade of her tent, and never with her hood down. This was the first time I was truly seeing the other women, unguarded and out of the protection of her shadows. It wasn't just her appearance that the sun changed though, Leliana actually seemed genuinely relaxed and... happy.

"You're staring Evelyn," she said without turning around, mouth twisting into a knowing smile.

I flushed.

"I don't think I've seen you look so at ease," I admitted. "It's nice."

The red head almost looked taken aback, then thoughtful.

"I suppose it has been awhile," she said slowly. "There is something so freeing about an open road. I'd forgotten how much I missed travelling with a group, it's almost like old times again. I must be getting nostalgic."

"Back when you travelled with The Hero of Ferelden you mean?" I asked eagerly. I knew the story of course, Cassandra made sure of that. It was quite the heroic tale, but even so I knew there was more to everything that had happened during the last Blight than what had become legend and Leliana had witnessed it firsthand. To say I had questions was an understatement, my curiosity was overwhelming.

She hummed thoughtfully and kept riding.

Now that the topic had been bought up I found it hard to steer myself away from all the things I'd been dying to ask yet to afraid to do so. Leliana was an intimidating woman after all and not someone who's past you'd want to pry into without having your affairs in order first.

"So what was he like?" I asked hopefully, letting my curiosity get the better of me yet again. "The man who saved the world that is."

Leliana let out a delicate snort. "As if anyone could ever really know Aedan Cousland."

"But you travelled and lived with him for more than a year," I reminded disbelievingly. "Surely you'd know a little of what he was like."

She sighed and looked out at the surrounding country side, her gaze far away and her words distant and wistful.

"On the outside Aedan was everything a good hero should be. He was young, handsome, brave and a skilled swordsman. After losing everything he held dear he pledged himself to the Wardens and the protection of this land and when it was required he took up the position of leader and then Hero. He was exactly what Ferelden needed, taking on a burden meant to be shouldered by thousands alone and in doing so he saved us all."

It was a grand picture the Bard painted, one worthy of any generic fantasy story. However I got the feeling there was a lot more the Hero of Ferelden than that, no story is ever that simple. I was almost afraid to ask but I felt I needed to know.

"And on the inside?"

The Spymaster took a while to answer this time, when she did her lilting voice sounded almost lost.

"For awhile I thought I knew. I thought he was the answer to all our prayers. That the Maker had sent him and it was my task to help him to his destiny. He was stoic and brash and often impossibly discourteous but he wanted to do the right thing. He was harsh but never cruel. We would talk around the fire at night. He would listen to my stories and would laugh. He seemed a different person when he laughed. But he was fighting with something inside him from the start and it slowly ate away at him. The more allies we gained and the more decisions he had to make the less he laughed and the more closed off he became until I could no longer tell the true motivations of his choices, some of which still worry me to this day. In the end I did not approve of the man he became."

"But you all accomplished what you set out to do. With your help Cousland defeated the Arch Demon and ended the Blight. He can't have been that bad." I reasoned, confused by why exactly Leliana seemed so disappointed in the Hero.

"I didn't say that he was bad, just changed." She looked back at me sadly. "It's inevitable in events like those that the people caught up in its centre would change."

For some reason that statement felt oddly directed at me, it was unnerving. Then I realise it may not just be me she was talking about.

"What about you?" I asked softly. "What were you like back then?"

She smiled, pleased I caught on the hidden meaning behind her words. "I suppose I was a lot like you are now; young, hopeful and eager to help. Though I was a lot less sceptical than you are now, yet somehow you are just as naive as I was despite your caution. Like you I wanted to see the good in everything but time and reality have a way of proving all of us wrong. I am older and wiser and more careful now. I know I can't change the world with ideals alone."

I didn't like where she was going with this. Leliana had admitted to me once before that she used to believe herself the Makers chosen, that she was doing his work and helping people in his name. But Justinia's death had severely shaken her faith and her confidence that what she was doing was for a greater purpose. But even so she had founded the Inquisition, she still strived to help people. Leliana may be struggling to find her purpose again but she still fought to protect, whatever she was now the old Leliana that had travelled Ferelden, told stories and lived to help people was still in there, stubbornly shaping every choice she made.

"Maybe not, but you can't change the world without those ideals either," I pointed out. "That's where it all starts after all. It may not be my place to say this, but I don't think you've changed that much Leliana. Not where it counts at least."

Her cupids bow mouth twitched into a half smile.

"Is that so?"

I nodded resolutely. "You're still saving the world aren't you? You haven't given up. How many others who have gone through everything you have can say the same?"

"An interesting way of looking at things," she admitted thoughtfully.

We continued on a short distance in an awkward silence until the outline of a small town appeared in the distance, Leliana pulled her horse to a stop and I came up besides her.

"Is that where you're meeting Harding?"

She nodded. "You have the letter?"

I pulled it out of my pocket and hesitated. This was my last chance to back out, to avoid the risk and leave the Mages to their own problems. It would be safer to just leave things be and forget this whole idea.

But safer wasn't always the right choice. I had to try.

"Please tell Harding and the others to be as careful as possible," I said handing over the letter, stomach twisting with nerves as I did. "I don't want any of them hurt because of me."

"Of course," she said with a small smile.

"Thank you," I sighed in relief.

Leliana unfolded the message and read, nodding every once in a while in approval. When she was finished the Spymaster carefully refolded it and slipped it into a pouch at her waist.

"Do you know that half a days ride from here is a trading village called West Hill?" She asked suddenly. "I hear that anyone can barter passage to any bay in Orlais or Ferelden from there."

_Huh? What an odd thing for her to say._

"Uh... that's nice." I replied cautiously, unsure where the former assassin was going with this conversation.

"There is also a man named Don who runs an inn there. He can forge papers and is very good at finding new work for those who seek a new life."

I blinked, really confused.

"O-kay....?"

"One of my agents is also named Don, you might have met him." Leliana continued happily. "The last time he was assigned to watch you was the day we decided to seek aid from the Templars-"

_Oh?....Oh!_

"-Dons report that day was most interesting."

_Oh balls_!

She knew about my conversation with Solas, about my feeling like an Inquisition puppet and my want for freedom. Of course she knew! How could I have been so stupid not to realise something like my little outburst would get reported up to her?

"Leliana I was having a bad day, I didn't me-" I began to try and explain myself only for her to interrupt with a raised hand.

Her pale blues eyes were icy and unyielding and I was immediately quietened.

"Given what we've put you through since your arrival I can hardly blame you for such thoughts. You started out as our prisoner and technically I don't believe we ever released you. We just gave you a title and sent you out to do our bidding-"

"I agreed to help. It was my own choice-"

"Only because I made sure you had no other," the other women replied matter of fact. "We needed you and I made sure you had no other option but to stay. I don't apologise for that, at the time it was necessary for everyone. But things change."

I frowned. What exactly had changed? Had my rebellious thoughts made me unreliable or a flight risk? Was she about to start blackmailing me for loyalty to the cause I was already pledged to? Was that why she bought me out here?

"What's going on here Leliana?" I demanded trying to sound brave and forceful. "Why did you bring me here?"

The Spymaster smiled kindly.

"On behalf of the Inquisition I release you Evelyn Treval, you are no longer our prisoner and we apologise for any inconvenience this may have caused you."

I stared at the red head in confusion.

"I don't understand," I shook my head trying to clear my slow thoughts. "Am I being kicked out of the Inquisition?"

She laughed, the sweet mocking noise filling the air around us.

"Maker no, we would still very much appreciate you help. I'm just giving you your freedom to choose. There are no agents hiding in the trees ready to drag you back to Haven, just two roads to choose from. Which you take is up to you. Nobody is going to stop you either way."

The gravity of what was being offered to me hit like a sledge hammer to my chest leaving me breathless.

Leliana was giving me an out. An opportunity to flee, to get out of this bloody conflict and find a life elsewhere. I could go and search for my own way home or find a place to lay low and make a life for myself if I so wanted. Away from the fighting and the politics and the burden of what I was. I didn't have to be The Herald of Andraste anymore. I could simply leave. I'd never asked to be anyone's saviour; I couldn't be blamed for discarding a job I'd never signed up for. Let someone else fix this world, it wasn't mine to save.

Or I could ride back to Cassandra and the others and continue on knowing it was my decision to do so, no one else's. If I did I could no longer claim my actions among the Inquisition to have been forced on me. It was all on me.

Cassandras behaviour before I left suddenly made so much sense, she knew what Leliana had planned and believed I would take the opportunity to leave.

And I could, easily.

"Well I need to get this letter to Harding." Leliana said cheerfully, smiling sweetly at me while I sat stunned upon Falcons saddle. "Safe travels Lady Herald, I hope to see you soon... Though maybe I won't, in which case I wish you all the best."

I stared after her, baffled by the sudden turn of events.

"Why?" I finally called out to her back. "If you need me so much then why give me the chance to escape?"

She stopped and looked over her shoulder.

"I work in the shadows Evie. I find things out and I use what I know to make people do what I want and need. I'm very good at it. But even the darkest of secrets cannot buy true loyalty. And sometimes a willing ally is of more value than one forced. A caged bird can hardly grow to its full potential after all."

And with that Leliana turned and left, leaving me to mull over a decision that could change everything.

I had the freedom I'd so desperately wanted. But what did I do with it?

_What did I want? Really want._

I wanted to be safe. I wanted to not be mixed up in cut throat politics and bloody fights. I wanted to not hurt people. I wanted my family to know I was ok and for them not to spend the rest of their lives wondering what had happened to me.

And I wanted to do the right thing.

I started down the road in one direction at a slow even pace.

_This was right_ , I told myself. _This was what I needed to do._

Then I stopped, my heart racing. I felt sick.

I turned around the other way and set Fal into a harsh gallop.

_This felt better!_

I was free and this was what I wanted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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_Just to let you guys know I was sooooo very tempted to leave this chapter here and leave you hanging. So very, very tempted._

 

 

I thundered down the road, grinning like a fool and holding on tight to the reigns, Falcons powerful body heaving under my legs with the strain of the intense pace.

This was bliss. The wind in my hair and my future before me, nothing to hold me back.

We were going so fast that when the fork in the road came upon us I barely had time to pull back on the reigns and slow down enough to avoid running Cassandra over. The Seeker had evidently been nervously pacing the joined roads as she awaited my potential return.

The look on her face as she struggle between annoyance at my reckless entrance and sheer relief that I'd came back at all was most comical. I waited patiently as she struggled to decide how to address me.

The Seeker finally settled on a reproachful "You're late." Before crossing her arms and glaring at me.

I laughed.

"Sorry Cassandra, Leliana wanted to talk about some things."

"Oh really," she answered warily. "Anything important?"

"Nothing I shouldn't have already known," I said shrugging indifferently. "Still... it was nice to hear out loud and to decide for myself."

I smiled warmly at the Seeker as her hard exterior soften slightly.

"I'm glad you made it back." The warrior said, voice tight.

_Me too,_ I thought to myself.

"Did you honestly doubt I would?"

"I... didn't know what to think," she admitted.

"Come on Cassandra lighten up. It was just a ride down the road!" Sera said walking towards us oblivious as to what had just happened. "You don't need to hold her hand all the bloody time. What if Evie has to take a piss? You going to hold her skirts up for her too?"

_Ok, did not need that visual._

Cassandra wrinkled her face in disgust.

"Don't be ridiculous. Enough wasting time, we are heading out. Now! I hope you didn't exhaust your horse riding like that Herald. If you fall behind we will leave you behind and you will have to catch up over night."

Sera and I watched the Seeker stiffly stalk over to her mount. I thought I did an excellent job of hiding my amusement.

"She worries way too much eh? I think her face is stuck like that." Sera said shaking her head.

"It's only because she cares," I said to the elf softly.

"Yeah whatever, hey wanna help me guess the colour of her underpants?"

"No!"

_Yep, this was exactly where I wanted to be._

 

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It wasn't until late that night when I was lying in my bedroll and Sera was sleeping soundly by my side that I took the pendent out from under my shirt to admire once again. To afraid of bringing it out in front of the others and risk being seen mooning over the gift. Bull and Sera would never let me live it down if I was caught doing in something so pathetic.

It was then, by the dim eerie green light of my mark that I noticed two things.

Firstly the colour of the stone had changed, from the stormy blue/grey to a piercing, clear blue. At first I wondered if it was a trick of the light but after carefully lighting a candle I knew I wasn't mistaken, the colour had definitely changed. The new shade of cerulean blue seemed so familiar yet I just couldn't place where I'd seen it before.

The second discovery was of a thin hair line crack that ran around the sides of the pendent. After running my nail along the straight even line I realised suddenly that the necklace wasn't a pendent at all. It was a locket.

Excited by the find I eagerly set about gently prying the silver circle open to see what was within. I gasped in awe when it finally clicked open. Every surface inside the locket was engraved with tiny, elegant swirling symbols. Unreadable to my eye they seemed to throb with a sharp blue light of its own when turned in just the right way.

_Ruins maybe?_ Perhaps these were the wards Solas had spoken of.

I wondered what they did exactly and how they worked, wishing I'd gotten more information about the gift from Solas before I'd left.

_Oh well, I'd just have to ask him when I returned._

The thought of having him talk me through something as magical as my gift had me grinning like an idiot.

Any excuse to spend more time with the Mage was a good one.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehehe  
> So....? Happy? Angry? Confused?  
> Let me know. And if you like the story feel free to bookmark it so its easier to keep track of updates.
> 
>  
> 
> Also I'm sort of working on a small side series to go along with 'More than a Dream' and I could use some help with getting some good character names. specifically elven Names. One for a laid back easy going man and the other for a more serious and strong woman. Any help I could get would be much appreciated. :)
> 
> And thank you for reading!!!!!


	39. Shuffling Flags - The Trouble With Templars Part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's not my horde, it's the Inquisitions." 
> 
> Evie and the other make it to Therinfal but before they can see the Lord Seeker they have to deal with his Knights... And the Orlessian Nobles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry you've all had to wait so long for an update. Life has been... busy. I've barely had a moment to myself and when I have I've been so stuck with this chapter. It just never seemed interesting enough but there is so much stuff that can't really be skimmed over.  
> Any way I hope its up to standard and you enjoy it.

 

 

## Shuffling Flags ##

The Trouble with Templars - Part 1

 

We made good time on the road to Therinfal Redoubt, waylaid on only a few occasions during the journey to close the odd Rift or two. Surprisingly I found I didn't mind being on the road again as much as I thought I would. Despite the discomfort of sore and tired muscles caused by riding or walking for hours on end and sleeping on thin bedrolls it felt good to be doings something productive again. The weather remained relatively good as well, we'd enjoyed clear skies and mild warmth right up until the day of our arrival when we awoke to dark ominous clouds and a constant drizzle of rain. If I was a superstitious person I would have taken the sudden change in weather as a bad omen of things to come. As it was I merely saw the falling drops of rain to be a nuisance as it bounced off the hood of my travel cloak and made the path ahead less visible, we'd endured worse at the Storm Coast after all.

It became evident we had reached our destination when a small village worth of brightly coloured and luxurious tents sprung up ahead. The Nobles of Orlais, apparently not content to spend a few short days outside their usual comfort, had gone out of their way to turn what should have been a simple rustic campsite into a miniature canvas Val Royeaux with all the comforts of home... And then some!

They weren't just camping out on Therinfals front lawn, these Nobles were _'glamping!'_

I would have been annoyed by the grandiose display of wealth and station if I wasn't insanely jealous.

Catching a glimpse inside a particularly large royal blue tent (It could have easily housed a small circus) as we rode by I felt my jaw drop at the sight of two masked Orlessian women sipping wine on an antique love seat under what appeared to be a crystal chandelier, a server standing nearby awaiting orders.

"Bloody Nobs," Sera griped her face twisted in disgust. "Who bothers to put paintings up in a tent?!"

"People who can afford to my dear, try not to be jealous." Vivienne purred before pursing her lips and glaring at a yellow and pink candy striped tent on the other side of the road. "Though wealth cannot account for taste it seems."

"These guys are probably living better than the Templars up at the fort," Bull commented shaking his head with a wry grin. "I bet it's pissing the order off all the more."

"Did you see those?" I hissed quietly to my companions as we passed another tent this one smaller but equipped with a large four poster bed and a taxidermy bear wearing a vest and its own feathered mask.

Cassandra scowled. "The Nobles like to make a game of showing off their wealth wherever they go, especially when there are so many gathered at one place. It is excessive, but I was expecting a lot worse."

"I'm sure that I saw a fountain filled with champagne back there in the stripy one," Blackwall said sounding astonished.

"Forget the champagne, did you see all those cushions!" I exclaimed craning around on my saddle to get a better look.

"You're excited over a pillow?" Cassandra asked dryly.

"Not just one, there were so many! And they looked so cushy and soft!"

"My dear Herald you've been on the road too long," Vivienne sighed.

She was probably right, I missed my bed.

We quickly passed through the temporary camp and found a place to tether the mounts and store our belongings. Cassandra asked around and we were pointed in the direction of a stone bridge and winding track that would lead up to Therinfals Redoubts entrance, the stone fort looming up ahead through the thick rain, perched upon a high hillside like something from an old school Dracula movie. All it need was dramatic organ music and some atmospheric lightning and we'd have the beginnings of a clichéd horror movie.

_Wonderful._

Apparently the Noble man who had been nominated to represent all participating families was awaiting us just up the road. We began crossing the sturdy coble stone bridge towards a standalone guard house, our boots splashing in puddles as we went and the sound of the rain echoing around us. Our party cautiously surveyed the area as we went, passing by several clusters of Orlessian Nobles who were scattered about the road loudly discussing the lack of Templar aid during this time of crisis. Amongst the bright and frilly outfits I spotted the odd young Templar recruit in their signature robes and armour combination who'd been given the unfortunate task of trying to appease the unwanted mob of protesting campers. I almost felt bad for one in particular as we strolled by the flustered young Templar who was being chastised by an elderly Orlessian lady like she was an errant grandchild. The poor Templar was stammering and red faced as she tried to reassure the old lady, reminding me a lot of how I would likely respond if I were in her position.

Which made me wonder why they hadn't sent someone more experienced and with higher authority to deal with the irritated horde of influential and important people. The only reason I was forced into such situations was because of my undeserved title that the Inquisition was playing off. In fact now that I was thinking about it all the Templars I'd seen so far couldn't be much older than myself. There didn't seem to be any around of significant rank or experience, which seemed a rather stupid move by their leader. If you wanted to pacify a bunch upset Nobles you wouldn't send a foot soldier you would send someone of some authority who knew what was going on and what could be negotiated. From the looks on these Templars faces they had less insight into what was happening than I did.

I turned to Cassandra frowning in thought and was about to ask if she had any idea as to why the rookies had been sent out to manage crowd control when a loud and booming voice called out to us from a small pack of loitering Orlessians.

"The Herald of Andraste!" A tall Nobleman called as he strutted confidently towards us. It was hard to judge his age and features beneath his brassy mask, with its pointed nose and ridiculously bushy metal moustache that fell to his chin, the mask effective hid all distinguishing features apart from a pair of muddy brown eyes that peered shrewdly from narrow slits. Even his hair colour was hidden beneath a swath of burgundy satin twisted into something that looked almost turban like. He was built broad and big, his long red tail coat fitting tight to his shoulders and his cream trouser clung to thick legs. There was a sword hanging casually at his hip and he held himself like someone who had at least had some form of combat training, though the slightly protruding beer gut suggested that training was from a long time ago and hadn't been used in a while.

The man bowed grandly and introduced himself with a flourish.

"Lord Esmeral Abernache, honoured to participate. It is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales."

"Uh... right," I responded cautiously, yet again feeling very awkward being addressed like I was the one in charge. How anyone could bypass the incredible and intimidating warrior woman that was Cassandra Pentaghast and decide that I was the one to talk to was beyond me.

I had a vague recollection of Cassandra trying to teach me about several important wars that occurred within The Dales, most involving Orlais taking back land that had been given to the elves after their aid during Andrastes rise and fall. It seemed like a very poor comparison to me and a rather offensive one at that. Boasting about human superiority over elves was a dick move in any situation and certainly wasn't necessary to bring up today. As first impressions went it Abernache was not off to a good start. Honestly I was disappointed our contact seemed to be just like most other Orlessian Nobles I'm met, pompous and arrogant. Josephine had implied our contact was quite clever and knowledgeable, a master of the Grand Game. Not unlike Leliana.

 _"Sign nothing he offers you, but his gossip his reliable."_ The Ambassador had warned during preparations for this trip. But his pointless grandstanding wasn't painting the picture of cool intellect, just pretentiousness. This was made even more obvious by how the man practically fell down to kiss Vivienne's stilettos when he noticed the First Enchanters presence.

"Ah Lady Vivienne," Abernache greeted warmly. "We met at last summer's ball? The Duke introduced us."

"Indeed, I could not possibly forget the occasion." Vivienne replied dryly, breezing past indifferently as she and the others continued on ahead.

I struggled not to laugh, once again impressed by the other women's quick sarcasm and snark.

_Why couldn't I be that cool?_

To his credit Lord Abernache didn't take the rejection to heart, if he noticed it at all. Instead he turned his attention back to me and spoke enthusiastically, his rolling accent sounding excited and pleased.

"The Lord Seeker is willing to hear our petition about closing the Breach, a credit to our alliance with the Inquisition. Care to mark the moment, ten Orlessian houses walk with you!"

_Urgh!_

I'd almost forgotten about Lord Seeker Lucius. After my last encounter with the spiteful man I was not looking forward to having the pleasure of his cold and nasty presence during negotiations. Knowing I would have to be courteous to him made the situation even worse. I still wanted to slap the sneer from Lucius's stupid face for how he'd spoken to Cassandra. But I could put my own feelings inside for the sake of the Inquisition. I was a miracle we'd even gotten this close to the Templars considering a week ago the Lord Seeker wouldn't give us the time of day let alone an audience. Abernache actually had a point, what we'd managed to accomplish was pretty impressive and while I disliked the necessity of all these Nobles I wasn't ungrateful for their presence, after all their being here was likely the only reason Lucius had changed his mind. It would be both stupid and incredibly rude not to acknowledge that fact.

"We are so very grateful for your assistance Lord Abernache, I hope the trip here wasn't too bothersome for you and the other Noble houses." I replied smiling sweetly at the man and channelling my inner Josephine. "We value this alliance that will surely benefit us all. With your help hopefully the Templars will see reason."

The Noble man seemed to pause for a heartbeat and I could see his eyes behind his mask widen and blink in shock before turning bright and suddenly interested.

"Such honeyed words you speak my dear, I must admit I wasn't expecting that." he said lowly, seeming to look me over appraisingly. "I think I will need to watch out for you Lady Herald."

"Excuse me? I'm not sure what you mean." I stammered uncomfortable under his scrutiny and unsure what exactly Abernache was implying.

"No need to get defensive my Lady," he replied with a chuckle. "I meant that as a compliment. With poise and words such as those I can picture you doing very well for yourself in the Grand Game. It would be quite the interesting spectacle to watch you rise through the hierarchy and seize what power you wanted."

I felt as if someone had just slapped me across the face with a fry pan.

While Abernache saw his words as the highest flattery to me it was the greatest possible insult to my character. Implying that I would not only fit in among the two faced, manipulative and self serving Nobles of Orlais but that I would thrive there.... it made me feel sick.

_Was that the reputation I was developing? I didn't want to be like that!_

"I think you are mistaken Sir," I replied tightly trying to keep the anger from my voice. "I'm not after any power of my own. I work for the Inquisition to resolve this disaster, that's all."

"Of course, of course," Abernache placated sounding not an ounce convinced of my intentions as he winked knowingly at me and clasped my shoulder in and almost comradely gesture. "It's a little early for your debut I suppose and you'd need someone to introduce you to the right people. Why don't come to the Autumn Ball as my guest this season? My cousin is hosting it this year however I'm sure the two of us could steal the spotlight out from under him, dear Gerald is such a bore it be easy to do."

_This man was unbelievable!_

"I think we have more pressing matters to focus on at the moment your Lordship." I said, narrowing my eyes reproachfully at the Orlessian. "The Breach can't be allowed to put as all in danger any longer."

"Oh yes," Abernache agreed heartedly. "Ghastly looking thing. The Lord Seeker can't think we’re ignoring it."

I stared at the man with my mouth agape as he began to trudge up the winding slope towards the gates of Therinfal, oblivious to my disbelief.

_Was he really more concerned about The Breaches appearance than the fact it was currently destroying the world? What the actual Hell?!_

With I resigned sigh I began to follow him up the path, shaking my head as I went. Figuring I was never going to understand the mindset of these people and would just have to accept it and work around their ridiculous priorities.

_Fucking Orlessians...._

"Speaking of the Lord Seeker," Abernache began in a tone I associated with gossiping school girls as he turned back to me and leaned in close like I was his BFF. "I don’t suppose you'll divulge what finally got his attention? Rumour will if you won't."

I frowned in confusion; I'd thought it was Abernache and his annoying horde of silken protesters that had garnered Lucius's attention. So why was he asking me?

"Pardon? I don’t know what you mean?"

"The Lord Seeker won't meet _us_ until he greets the Inquisition in person." He said eyes bright and eager with the prospect of juicy information. "Quite the surprise after that spat in Val Royeaux."

That was a surprise. If it was the interest of the Nobles that had changed his mind wouldn't the Lord Seeker wish to speak with them before us, not the other way around? Given his opinion of us it did seem very strange that Lucius suddenly wanted to deal with the Inquisition by itself before discussing things with the Nobles.

_Something had changed, but what?_

"I hadn’t heard that," I admitted thoughtfully. "We only asked for the same thing we've always wanted; assistance with The Breach."

Abernache looked disappointed but shrugged it off easily.

"Then it's all been arranged by your ambassador." He said offhandedly and continued walking. "Let the diplomats work their magic if you trust them. Between you and I the Chantry never took advantage of their Templars. Wiser heads should steer them, ah here we are. Therinfal Redoubt...."

I looked up to find he was right, we'd arrived.

Therinfal Redoubt was just as intimidating up close as it was ominous from a distance. Its large stone walls stood tall and unyielding at the other end of a narrow bridge, the only way over to the fort unless attackers felt like rock climbing up a steep and jagged cliff side. Beyond the wall I could just make out the tops of at least three towers in the distance almost, hidden by the cloud coverage. Red banners bearing the Templars insignia dressed its daunting build and fluttered in the wind. The first portcullis of the gate house was raised allowing visitors access to a small stable. A second lowered gate of thick iron barred any further access; there a moderate crowd of Nobles had already assembled behind what looked to be a line of Templars standing guard.

"It appears they’ve sent someone to great you," Abernache said thoughtfully before speaking to me in a low aside. "Present well Lady Treval, everyone's a little too tense for my liking."

He walked on ahead and I watched him with a mixture of confusion and annoyance before making my way over to where my companions had gathered in wait at the edge of the narrow bridge. Bull took one look at my expression and frowned himself.

"What's wrong Boss? You look like you swallowed something rotten."

I shuddered and hugged myself tightly glancing over my shoulder in the direction of the gathered Nobles.

"Not sure I haven't," I mumbled before quickly relaying my conversation to everyone. They listened carefully their own expressions turning thoughtful at the new development, well except for Sera who just looked irritated.

"That's... a very sudden change of heart by the Lord Seeker Lucius. Is that normal for him?" I asked aloud. I knew the man was an asshole but he seemed a stubborn one to me, stiff and ordered. I couldn't picture him being erratic.

"The Lord Seeker isn't reputed to be fickle." Vivienne stated suspiciously. "Something must have changed."

"Like what?"

Cassandra shook her head. "I couldn't say, he's hardly been acting predictably over the last month. I still can't believe Lucius abandoned the White Spire to come here."

"Hmmm defensible... I like it!" Bull rumbled appreciatively looking over the dreary fort like it was a luxury resort. "Somebody worked out some issues building this place."

"They could hold off an army here, if one ever came," agreed Blackwall.

Personally I thought the fort looked lifeless and didn't share their admiration of the creepy structure, it was probably a guy thing anyway. Like farting and mud wrestling.

"Is that why they came here?" I mused aloud. "Because he thought they might be attacked. Why? Even the Rebel Mages wouldn't be reckless enough to take on the entire Templar Order."

"Something else to discuss with The Lord Seeker when we meet. Come, let's get this over with." Cassandra said, her face set into a grim and determined scowl as she lead us across the narrow bridge and through to the stable area.

We followed, cutting our way through the thick horde of Noblemen and women who crowded the enclose area, loudly yelling at the gate and demanding entrance. The closer we got to the gate the more we had to force our way through, the more enthusiastic protesters had clearly pressed to the front to make sure they were heard. I was shoved and jostled as I tried to keep up with Cassandras powerful and unyielding form, only Blackwall's solid presence at my back kept me from falling down and being trampled. I was no good in crowds like this, too cautious and polite to force my way through and not nearly graceful enough to just glide past like Vivienne and Sera were doing. By the time we'd pushed through I was sure I'd received more bruises from wayward elbows and high heeled feet than my last sparing session with Skinner.

_This was exactly why I never went into the mosh pit at concerts!_

Abernache had already made his way to the gate and stood facing a young dark skinned man in templar armour. The young man stood straight and unyielding, his chin held up and arms clasped behind his back. A position I'd seen Cullen use more often than not, the familiar stance making me feel oddly reassured. A third Orlessian man without a mask, likely somebody's attendant, seemed to be making introductions.

"I present to you Knight Templar Sir Delrin Barris, second son of Bann Jevran Barris of Ferelden. Sir Barris may I be so honoured to present Lord Esmeral Abernashe..."

Sir Barris did not seem interested in the Nobles name and title. In fact as soon as he saw our group approach his eyes widened a fraction and he pushed his way right between the two Orlessian men in a few quick strides. A brief look of both relief and desperation flitted across Barris's face before his expression turn blank and stoic. As he drew closer I was taken aback by how big the man actually was, broad shouldered and tall with a closely shaved head. His demeanour just screamed military, just like another templar I know... well Ex-templar. He was handsome too, defined cheekbones and strong jaw with a pouting mouth and soft brown eyes. I suddenly realised I'd seen him before.

"Inquisition, I'm relieved you're finally here." He said coming to a stop in front of Cassandra and I.

"As are we," the Seeker replied somewhat reproachfully. "We've been wanting to meet with Lord Seeker Lucius for months now."

The big Templar shifted uncomfortably obviously catching on to Cassandras subtle accusation.

"I've seen you before," I said thoughtfully. "You were there at the plaza when we tried to reason with those Clerics."

The man frowned, upset.

"I'm surprised you remember me, I'd almost rather you didn't." He admitted grimly. "The Order was hardly at its best that day."

"But you went to help her, the Grand Cleric who was hit." I recalled giving him a small reassuring smile. "And you tried to stand up for me."

"Yes, though that doesn't excuse what happened." Barris said bluntly. "I'm the one who sent word to Cullen, he said the Inquisition works to close this breach in the Veil."

"We do, but we require aid from the Templars to do so," Cassandra said crossing her arms and raising a meaningful dark eyebrow.

"I didn't think you'd bring such lofty company." The Knight Templar said looking around the bridge with unveiled discomfort and sending disgruntled glares at the Nobles.

 _Well we wouldn't have needed to if your boss wasn't being so evasive,_ I thought wryly.

Abernashe shifted indignantly.

"Barris?" The Noble said haughtily. "Moderate holdings your family. And only the second son, Ha!"

The other man frowned slightly but turned his attention back to us, ignoring the Orlessian.

"This promise of status has garnered interest from the Lord Seeker beyond sense." Barris shook his head almost angrily. "The sky burns with magic yet he ignores all calls to action until your friends arrive."

I looked over to Cassandra.

"Can he do that? As a Seeker can he really lead the Templars in such a way?"

"In an emergency if there is no other recourse, but his goal should be to restore them to order," she explained.

"He has taken command permanently," Barris added.

"If he fears there is a holy mandate..." Cassandra started, brow furrowed in thought.

"That is what the Lord Seeker claims, and our commanders parrot him." confirmed the Knight. He sighed then, moved in closer and spoke quietly as if to keep out the Orlessians out of the conversation. "The Lord Seekers actions make no sense. He promised to restore the orders honour then marched us here to wait. Templars should know their duty, even when held from it."

"A Templar who remembers his responsibilities, I am reassured." Vivienne murmured from behind us, sounding mildly surprised and impressed.

"Win over the Lord Seeker and every able bodied knight will help the Inquisition seal the Breach," Barris pressed looking at us intently.

That was a very big ask given our past encounter, winning over the Lord Seeker felt as impossible as making a snowman in the middle of a volcano.

"Can't you just, help us anyway?" I asked hopefully. "If the Lord Seeker is neglecting the Templars purpose then just leave him."

After all wasn't that what Cullen had done, he'd left the Order feeling he could do more good with the Inquisition. Cassandra too, she left the Seekers to become the Divines right hand. It was like quitting a job when you didn't like it anymore and had a better offer. I didn't understand why they stayed if they knew what was happening wasn't right. I get the Templars had a commitment to their order and it would be hard to walk away from that. But if they were being kept from doing their duty and really wanted to help then they should just leave. They weren't prisoners.

The knight shook his head grimly.

"We can't abandon our orders, not while the officers who survived the conclave follow him. You've been asked to accept much, after that shameful display in Val Royeaux. Our truth changes on the hour."

I realised then that Barris was actually the real deal, a true holy Knight dedicated to his order and purpose. Like something out of a story book he was loyal to his leaders even when he questioned their orders. Which made this screwed up mess all the more awful. Barris wanted to do the right thing however his loyalty to his order kept him trapped. While I respected him for being so devoted to his cause it wasn't really helping things at the moment. If only he and the other Knight Templars could just go on a short strike to give us a hand then we wouldn't be jumping through so many hoops to garner the attention of their superiors.

Before I had a chance to convince the Templar to help Abernashe interrupted, clearly tiring of being left out of the conversation.

"Don't keep your betters waiting Barris. There's important work for those born to it." The Orlessian sneered, his words causing the other nearby nobles to recommence their own angry demands of entrance.

Barris turned and glared sullenly at the noble then with a heavy sigh he gestured behind him and the gate creaked and began to rise.

"If you'll follow me," he said before leading us into the large courtyard beyond. A handful of Templars stepped forward to stop the pressing crowed of Nobles from following, Abernache being the only one permitted to join the Inquisition during this meeting.

We walked on through the last gate and I cautiously surveyed the new area. The courtyard was large but sparse and badly in need of renovations. Simplistic scaffolding made of logs and rope held up sections of crumbling walls while the bare cobblestone landscape was losing a tough battle with a jungles worth of hardy weeds and grass that was growing up through the cracks. A large open tent stood in the corner giving cover to stacks of supply crates while other piles of barrels and boxes were scattered about the outskirts. The only other structures in the yard were a small well and three chest high posts standing in a line towards the back corner. The whole place seemed to highlight how the Templars were basically squatting in an old abandoned fort and making the most of what they had, giving the impression of desperation.

I shuddered and hugged my shoulders as a flock of crows cawed ominously in the distance. With the gate now closed securely behind us and the high impenetrable walls of Therinfal trapping us inside I suddenly felt very on edge. The skin on the back of my neck was prickling with unease and I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me intently, but looking about I was no more the centre of anyone's attention than I normally was.

It was probably just my imagination getting the better of me which wasn't unusual but not exactly helpful at this moment.

_Pull yourself together Evie, just because this place looks like the set of a horror movie doesn't mean a vampire is stalking you from the eaves. Thedas didn't even have vampires, it had demons and dragons. And let's face it if it was a dragon stalking you you'd probably try and hug it._

Besides I had some of the scariest and most talented fighters watching my back. I had nothing to worry about.

_I'd like to see a vampire try and get past Vivienne!_

"The Lord Seeker has a request before you meet him," Barris revealed, leading us over the three posts.

They looked to be a new addition to the fort, the wood being less worn and weathered than that of the well. Each post had a wheel much like a ships helm attached to its side and was positioned in front of one of three large banners that decorated the otherwise bare walls, a basic system of ropes and pulleys connecting one to the other. Each banner was dull red in colour and bore the depiction of a different image in gold, I recognised the Templar signal of a downwards sword and the Chantry's familiar burning eye right away. The other icon I didn't recognise as belonging to any particular group and looked to be some kind of big cat.

_Gryffindor maybe?_

"These are the standards," Barris explained as we came to a stop in front of the posts. "An honoured rite centered on the people, the Maker and the Order. The Lord Seeker asks that you perform the rite so he may see the order in which you honour them."

_Ooooooh I get it. The big cat represented people..... that made no sense._

So we had to raise the flags in order of what was more important. The Chantry, the Templars or people. It seemed simple enough if slightly pointless, though I really shouldn't judge other groups traditions.

"What if we don't get it right?" I asked the knight nervously. "Will he refuse to see us?"

"There is no correct answer," Barris said kindly. "The ritual just shows watchers who you are and what you value."

"Ok," I said slowly. I was a little suspicious but couldn't see the harm in raising a few flags to appease our host. "If that's what the Lord Seeker wants of the Inquisition I guess we'd be honoured to take part."

"Not the Inquisition, you." Barris said turning to stare meaningfully down on me. "The Lord Seeker changed everything to meet you. Not the Inquisition. You. By name."

My stomach dropped and I could feel my expression falling into one of mild horror and alarm. This was sounding an awful lot like my talk with Felix and Dorian in the Chantry. The one we had just before I found out Alexius likely wanted me dead.

_Oh no not again._

I swallowed down my dread and told myself it was an irrational fear and I was over reacting. Not everyone we met with wanted to harm me in some way or another. I would have to be pretty conceited to think I was that important.

_Right?_

"W-why?" I asked shakily, desperately wanting to hear something reassuring.

"I don't know," The Templar answered lowly. "He's been fixated on you ever since your horde of nobles arrived."

That was not what I wanted to hear. Anyone being 'fixated on me?' couldn't be a good thing.

_Shit._

"It's not my horde it's the Inquisitions," I replied numbly, struggling with this new development.

Abernache shifted restlessly and crossed his arms over his chest, probably upset I'd just claimed him and his peers as part of the Inquisitions horde.

"The Lord Seeker makes us shuffle flags around," he scoffed in annoyance. "Refuse! Let's meet the man already."

I could understand the Nobles impatience, I felt the same. But whatever was going on here in Therinfal seemed... unstable. Everybody was on edge, like we were walking across a thinly frozen lake and the ice could crack at any moment. Stomping around and making a fuss would only cause it to break quicker. I needed to tread carefully.

"No, I'll do it." I said softly, walking towards the posts with my shoulders squared. "If this helps the Lord Seeker to think more favorably of us then let's get this ritual over with."

I didn't know exactly what was going on here but playing along with their requests seemed like the best way to keep most everybody happy. I just had to think things through. Very carefully, like I was tackling a tricky riddle. How I answered this really depended on what it was they were actually asking.

This test could simply be some kind of overly extravagant personality test meant to show the Templars who I was, which was weird but not really all that threatening.

But it could also be something more, and my already nervous mind was in overdrive thinking of all the sinister possibilities or how this could go wrong.

Was I supposed to put the Order first to gain favour with the Templars? It was a bit of a kiss ass move but one that would be the best way to gain their approval and support. But maybe they were expecting that. Or it was a trick to throw me off! My fake background story had all of Thedas believing I was a former wannabe Chantry initiate, was I therefore expected to place the Chantry higher? If I didn't would I unwillingly expose my lie to all the people present? But if I did would that make the Templars upset by ranking them as less important than the people they until recently served with devotion?

_Urgh!_

The simple task had suddenly become very confusing.

I closed my eyes and took a slow breath.

I needed to stop over thinking things. It wasn't helping. I couldn't predict what these people wanted to see, I could only control my own choices. And what I valued most was neither the Chantry nor the Templars.

I made my way from one post to the next, cranking around the wheel and watching each banner rise to where I wanted before standing back and admiring my handy work.

"Um my lady," Barris said cautiously looking up at the wall. "You're not supposed to put two flags in the one position."

I shrugged.

"I like it this way. Now what?"

"Uh well then," Barris coughed recovering from his uncertainty quickly. "Traditionally the participant in the rite explains their choices."

"People come first. Always." I said simply and without pause, smiling up at the peoples Gryffindor banner where it hung as high up as I could get it.

I heard Sera humph in agreement from further back.

"Makes sense yeah?" She said out loud. "Who's it all for if they're not up top?"

"I'm sure the common folk will be please someone put up a banner for them," Bull agreed.

"And the others?" Cassandra asked staring at where the Chantry and Templar banners stood side by side half way up the wall, her stern face confused. "Couldn't you decide?"

"Oh no, I decided." I replied. "Neither the Templars or the Chantry would have any value if it wasn't for the people. Their purpose should always be for the benefit of the common man and woman. The Templars to protect and give strength. The Chantry to guide and give hope. Something that seems to have been forgotten in the last few months. They are both equally important, when they actually do what they're supposed to. They are both needed.... At least that's what I think."

Several nearby Templars shuffled in unease and looked away shamefacedly. I felt a small pang of justified smugness.

_Yeah you should be feeling guilty!_

The moment was ruined when Abernache yet again voiced his disapproval.

"This is ridiculous," The Orlessian snapped. "How is this supposed to impress the Lord Seeker?"

"I suppose those are your intentions?" Barris interjected, glaring at the Noble in annoyance.

"My intention's to deal with people who matter!" Abernache sneered angrily. "You helmed louts are wasting the Inquisitions time and my time. Unacceptable!"

I was suddenly reminded of Lord Lemongrab from Adventure Time and had to stifle a snigger.

_Unacceptable!!!!_

The noble noticed turning his expressionless mask my way.

"Do you find something amusing about all this Lady Herald?"

 _Ooops_.

"Not at all," I placated quickly. "I just think you're berating the wrong person your Lordship. It's not Barris's fault, he's following the commands of the Lord Seeker, blame him for wasting your time."

The Noble just sniffed disdainfully and turn away shaking his head.

I rolled my eyes behind his back and got a reproachful elbow in my side from Cassandra for my trouble.

Barris sighed heavily, clearly tired of all the drama. The large man turned and began walking towards a door almost hidden behind some scappling gesturing with a wave of his hand for us to follow.

"The Lord Seeker awaits you both, follow me." He said wearily.

I followed feeling like I'd swallowed a rock that was weighing down on my stomach, the dread and nerves returning like a small persistent tidal wave.

I had a very bad feeling about this.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some of you may have noticed I now have a profile pic. Yay. I wanted to have the picture at the end of the chapter but I'm struggling to insert it. Apparently I can't copy and paste onto the chapter and seeing as its on my computer and not on the internet I couldn't figure out the 'source'. I even tried saving it as a jpeg and still cant work it out. Anyone willing to part with some helpful hints on how to a insert a picture? I would be most appreciative :)  
> Also you may have noticed 'More than a Dream' is now part of a series, I did this so I could add little side stories or different POV chapters that don't make it into the main story. If anyone's interested you can check out my first little side story thing 'Frustrations' its not complete yet but hopefully soon.  
> Let me know what you think :)  
> Until next time stay safe and well.  
> And thank you for reading :)


	40. Vamplar Attack! -The Trouble with Templars Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let me go you creepy ass, glowing red eyed, son of a donkey kissing whore!" 
> 
> Evies worst fears are confirmed as negotiation fall through and the Inquisitions representatives as set upon by what seems to .... Vampire Templars?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I am so sorry for the delay in updating. It took me a while to find a way to make this chapter interesting and fun to read. Thank you so much for your patience with this story. Every hit, like, comment and bookmark I've received for this means the world to me. Thank you all.  
> Bit of action and silliness in this chapter so I hope you enjoy.

## Vamplar Attack! ##

The Trouble with Templars Part 2

 

 

I think all the time I'd spent with Cullen had given me a false representation of what it was to be a Templar.

The Inquisitions Commander believed in order, he liked familiar routines and organisation. He woke up before dawn, was dressed and ready to face the day before the sun even thought to rise then he went about his day following the same general plan as the day before. Training drills were regimented and planned with precision and time set aside for meetings and paper work. The Inquisitions army ran like clockwork because of this and you could always tell when the Commander was running behind schedule as he'd be more grim and sullen than usual and would be struggling to stop himself from pulling at his hair in frustration. I'd thought that this perfectionism was a trait left over from Cullens time in the order. However it was becoming evident that not all Templars felt the same need to be punctual.

Barris had led us and about half dozen Templars through the dusty and derelict old fort and into a large room off what appeared to be a undersized entrance hall. There were no windows in the room, only a few torches burning in rusted sconces on the walls and pillars provided any light to see by and what was illuminated wasn't pretty. The room was just as poorly kept as the rest of Therinfal we'd seen, with crumbling stones littering the floor along with copious amounts of mud and straw. More crates and sacks of supplies had been stored inside and pushed close to the walls along with old unpacked pieces furniture that were stacked about the edges of the room. Only a single sturdy table stood in the middle scattered with papers, candles and half empty bottles of spirits. The young Templar knight had explained that the Lord Seeker would be meeting us here shortly and if the dark and rather unpleasant location of our meeting wasn't bad enough that particular declaration had been made more than an hour ago.

An hour. Waiting. In a dimly lit musty storage room.

If Josephine knew this was how the Templars treated their guests she'd probably start a war on principal alone.

The display meant one of two things. The first prospect was that without the Chantrys guidance the Templars had no reason for or had lost all sense of polite hospitality, possibly they hadn't the time to clean yet what with all their revolting and Mage hunting. The other more likely reason was that the Lord Seeker was sending us deliberate message;

'I don't like you. Your organization is a nuisance and a waste of our time. This is the reception you deserve.'

I could tell from the tight grimace on Cassandras face, the steely icy gaze of Enchanter Vivienne and Bulls tense defensive stance that they had all come to the same conclusion I had.

It did not bode well for negotiations and it certainly didn't much help my current increasingly anxious state of mind.

I knew the Lord Seeker didn't think much of the Inquisition so the crappy accommodations in an even crappier fort were not really a surprise, even it wasn't pleasant. But the delay in meeting with him felt more than Lucius pettily showing his lack of regard for our time. The Templars who had joined us were spread about the back wall of the room, dutifully standing guard around the door we'd entered from but I noticed them all sharing confused and worried looks amongst themselves. It seemed even they had no idea what was going on which made me even more concerned. Surely If this was intentional then the entire order would have been aware the Lord Seekers intent and would be in on the whole thing.

_Something was not right here._

While my companions had gradually all found surfaces to sit or lean against during the wait I'd slowly progressed from nervous shuffling to full on pacing back and forth across the room. I walked, thoughts whirling and eyes darting about anxiously while Abernache and Barris argued from either side of the table, their words not registering in my mind as much as the heated and irritated tone of their conversation. The noise was not exactly adding to the suspenseful situation but somehow complementing it, like a perfect soundtrack to a horror movie.

Something just felt so wrong here, the sense of foreboding was almost suffocating.

Eventually Cassandra grew tired of watching, one of her gauntlet hands coming out like lightning to grasp my shoulder and pull me to a sudden stop.

"Enough, Evelyn you're making me feel dizzy." She hissed reproachfully.

"I can't," I whispered back biting my lip and fidgeting nervously. "Can't you feel it Cassandra? Something isn't right here!"

The Seeker pinned me with a hard dark gaze.

"All the more reason to stay composed then Herald. All that pacing is wasting energy."

So she did feel it. Somehow that didn't give me much reassurance, just gave me more incentive to be concerned. Cassandra's instincts were usually pretty accurate, if she was on edge then it wasn't just my overactive imagination.

_Shit._

The sudden creak of a door slowly opening had me jumping in alarm and stifling a startled scream only to wilt in relief as a young squire appeared carrying a large silver serving tray laden down with a steaming tea pot and matching china cups. Cassandra rolled her eyes and shook her head in exasperation at my reaction while I let out a shaky frustrated groan.

_Honestly I was going to give myself a heart attack at this rate._

The squire seemed to flush nervously as the entire room turned at his entrance and watched him with suspicion. He quickly scurried in and placed the tray on the table before hurriedly backing out of the room with his head bowed.

"Refreshments, how gracious of them." Vivienne sneered dryly, making no move to pick up a cup.

No one else made any move forward either, indeed the gesture seemed too little too late. Yet as Lord Abernache reignited his debate with Barris I couldn't help but wander back to the table.

When my brothers and I were younger my Grandpa Phil would spend a lot of time with the boys. Not because he favoured them over me, it was just that Luke and Chris played sport and Grandpa Phil loved sports. He would be at every Football match or game of basketball, often acting as the unofficial coach or chauffer to their teams. I, being not very athletically inclined, missed out on these moments of bonding with my Grandpa. After suddenly realising we couldn't get to know each other through a shared love of sports like he and my brothers did Grandpa Phil went out of his way to find something we could do together. No one was more surprised than me the day he showed up at our place and asked me to join him in the play room for a tea party with my favourite stuffed animals, especially because I was twelve at the time and a little too old for pretend tea parties.

Still, I was touched. While we never sipped pretend with Dotty the stuffed dog and Mr Hugglebuns we did start up a tradition of meeting up every fortnight to share a pot of tea and a plate of baked treats, just the two of us. After he passed away I was the one to inherit his mother's vintage Ginori tea set. I'd developed quite the fondness for sweet tea cups and interesting teas ever since, taking up an entire cupboard of my kitchen with cups, brewing equipment and tools as well as neatly labelled tea tins with different brews. I wasn't an expert by any means, but I did enjoy the occasional cupper or two. While Haven didn't have much variety on offer when it came to tea Josephine had a lovely delicate set in her office put aside for important guests with a small assortment of special imported tea leaves. The Ambassador usually bought the tea set out during particularly dull lessons in an attempt to buy my enthusiasm.

It was a pretty successful tactic actually.

While I wasn't currently in the mood for a drink my curiosity did get the best of me when I began to wonder exactly what kind of tea a Templar would enjoy. The steam still billowing from the freshly made pot smelled faintly of peppermint and couldn't help but admire the pretty white tea cups with their gold trim and dainty painted flowers. The notion of any burly armoured Templar drinking peppermint tea out of one of these was strangely absurd.

Kind of like my manly Grandpa Phil playing pretend with Mr Hugglebuns.

_I wonder if they raised their armoured pinkie fingers while sipping tea and discussing mundane things such as the weather, politics or the best way to hunt down apostates._

Across the room I caught Sera's eye from where she perched high upon a stack of crates. She smiled impishly at me and mimicked the very same action I'd just been thinking of, raising her nose high and taking an exaggerated sip from an imaginary tea cup, little finger extended.

I snorted in amusement despite my nerves. Sera winked and I was suddenly reminded that even if things did go horribly wrong I wasn't here alone. I had friends with me. The thought didn't make me feel safer per say, after all I was always aware I was being closely protected by my friends, if I was with them I was already as safe as I could ever possibly be. But that didn't change the fact that if things went wrong and we had to fight people would die. It might not be me but I was going to see it again and there was always the chance that one of my companions could be hurt or killed... because of me. So knowing they were here didn't reassure me but it did give me more motivation to calm down.

Adrenalin was all well and good to fuel a battle but fighting in sheer panic would not end well.

_So focus Evie, don't let the fear get the better of you. Use it._

With a huge effort I willed myself to still and took a deep calming breath, noticing in my peripheral view both Cassandra and Bull nodding their silent approval. The feeling of dread was still there, gnawing at my gut like a parasite, but my head felt clearer and less muddled with panic.

I could be calm. I could control my trepidation and use it to hone my awareness.

_Sharp, alert, ready for anything to strike. Like a cat. No, a ninja! A cat ninja!_

"It's necessary you know?" Abernache as was saying haughtily as he leaned against the table end. "You don't run a battle field by committee."

"Without faith you've no knights," Barris argued back tiredly. "You've-"

BANG!

I jumped again and yelled wordlessly with my heart thudding in my throat as the door on the other side of the room was flung wide. On reflex I reached for my staff in panic only to accidently wack myself over the back of my head as I tried and failed to un-sling it from across my back.

_God fucking damn it! Really?! So much for being a ninja cat._

Cassandra didn't bother rolling her eyes at me this time, she and everyone else in the dark room were all too busy staring at the door as three Templars strolled casually in, hands clasped behind their backs and clanking noisily with each armoured step.

While each wore similar sets of armour and robes the middle Templar seemed to be of higher rank, walking slightly ahead of his peers and wearing more extravagant plate mail with flared shoulder pieces. He seemed smaller than Barris, less bulky though close in height. It was hard to tell much else about the man as his helmet was designed Ned Kelly style and barely even had big enough slits for him to see through let alone reveal anything distinguishable. The other two Templars also wore helmets, though theirs didn't hind their faces as the first mans did. The two men stopped and positioned themselves back by the door, almost hidden in the darker side of the room it was impossible to make out much more than their outline. The middle knight continued forward to stop on the opposite side of the table to where Cassandra and I stood. Barris was quick to straighten up at the other Knights entrance.

"Knight Captain Denam," The young man greeted in surprise, quickly giving a hurried salute to his superior. I was amazed he could tell who it was under the helmet.

Then I began to worry about _why_ they were wearing the helmets. After spending time with so many warriors and soldiers it was my understanding that helmets were generally uncomfortable and cumbersome, worn only when necessary like during battle or training to prevent discomfort and neck injuries.

_So why were these Templars wearing them during a meeting to negotiate aid?_

I felt the hollow feeling of dread resurface.

_Stay calm.... don't read more into it than was probably there. It was probably just protocol._

"You were expecting the Lord Seeker?" Knight Captain Denam asked harshly looking about the room before settling his gaze on Cassandra and I. "He sent me to die for you."

_Die for us?_

_....._

_Awww shit. That did not sound like protocol._

Cassandra took a slow step forwards and across, subtly putting herself a little bit between me and the new arrival, ready to defend the Inquisitions fragile Herald if needed. I looked around to see my companions all reaching for their weapons and the surrounding Templars who had come in with us appearing just as confused by the odd choice of words as I felt.

The only one seemingly unperturbed by the strange declaration was Lord Abernache as he continued to make his way forward. Being an Orlessian Nobleman it was entirely possible he was used to blasé death threats during introductions.

"Knight Captain," he greeted grandly with a short bow before quickly introducing himself with the same ostentatious flourish of his hands he's used with me. "Lord Esmeral Abernache. Honoured, it is not unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales. No doubt rank puts you above such things, a pity more people don't understand that."

The Knight Captain laughed coldly in amusement and the hairs and the back of my neck stood on end at the sound.

_Creepy._

"This is the grand alliance the Inquisition offers?" he asked mockingly.

As the sinister Knight Captain spoke something drew my gaze over to Sera's corner, the elf having shrunk further back into the shadows to hide. Her bow was notched and held lose and ready to aim, however her sharp eyes weren't looking at Denam but instead were focussed on his lackeys, the archers face set into a mask of unease and mild horror. I frowned in confusion and squinted into the dark at the two men trying to see what had Sera so unnerved, suddenly noticing the faintest traces of glowing red light, pulsing in thin vein like lines down their faces and necks, barely visible in the dim light.

_What the hell?_

With a narrowed suspicious eyes I looked back to Denam desperately searching for a patch of uncovered skin, finally finding an exposed section below his jaw when he turned his helmeted head up to appraise Bulls tall stature as the Qunari came to stand by Cassandras other side.

There, looking like jagged cracks under the surface of his skin was a network of iridescent pale ruby red lines. Even as a watched they seemed to fade and brighten with each beat of his heart, pulsing with life. As if noticing my stare the Captain turned my way and I caught the briefest glimpse of a similar red glow from where his eyes would be.

I felt my blood run cold as I stared riveted to the sight as if looking away would mean instant death. With a shaking hand I reached out to clutch Cassandra forearm hoping she would follow my gaze and see what I was seeing without my having to voice it, because I suddenly found it very hard to form words.

Reds eyes. Weird pulsing veins. Creepy castle...

_Holy shit! It wasn't just my over active imagination, we really were in a horror movie._

_The Templars had actually turned into Vampires!_

Cassandra stiffened at my side apparently seeing what I did, her dark eyes widening slightly with shock and wary confusion.

Then Abernache began to make his way around the table, intent on continuing his introduction.

"Uh...My lord I think you may want to give the Knight Captain same space," I hurriedly suggested stepping out with a restraining hand to stop the man from moving closer.

Abernache shrugged away and tutted almost playfully.

"You my dear, have a silver tongue. I won't let you claim the Knight and his Captain." He said before turning around to croon at the other man. If his mask had not been obscuring his face I'm sure it would've held a large eager smile. "Knight Captain-"

"The Lord Seeker had a plan," the Captain said loudly, interrupting the Orlessian Nobleman as his voice rouse to a shrill fanatical pitch. "But the Herald ruined it by arriving with purpose. It sowed too much descent."

Loud cries began to echo out in the corridors, yelling and screaming. The sound of fear and desperation.

_Oh no, not good._

"Knight Commander I must know what is going on!" Barris said stalking toward his superior while looking anxiously towards the door, determined to get answers.

"You were all supposed to be changed! Now we must purge the questioning knights."

The door across the room reopened with a handful more Templars marching in weapons drawn and dripping with red gore.

I removed the staff from my back, this time managing not to brain myself.

_Damn, damn, damn, damn, shit! Here it was, an army of Vampire Templars coming to rip us to shreds!_

_Vampire Templars?_

_Tempires?_

_Vamplars?_

_Yeah, that worked._

The Vamplars started to creep forward. One of the original two lackeys stepped up, red lined hands fingering the end of a bow almost eagerly before raising it. Barris backed away half a step from the Captain, unsure and lost. Finally catching on to the immediate danger Abernache began a slow retreat himself.

"For once I agree with the-"

We never got to hear who it was Abernache was agreeing with. The twang of the Templars bow sounded as loud as a gun shot in the eerily quiet and dark room and the Noble stumbled and fell lifelessly across the edge of the table with an arrow protruding from the side of his head. Dead eyes stared my way from beneath his displaced mask, fingers twitching against the dusty wood surface before going still.

_No!_

Despite knowing Abernache was already gone I couldn't help but start towards the Noble in some desperate but pointless bid to aid him. I may not have been fond of the man, but he was an ally, he had been here to help.

He didn't deserve this.

Cassandra caught hold of my coat quickly and pulled me back behind her shield arm just in time for several more arrows to sail passed.

"The Elder One is coming!" the Knight Captain declared as two of the arrows hit home, striking one of the Templars, who'd entered the room with us as an escort between the eyes and another in the centre of her chest. I turned in time to watched them both fall and the door behind them bursting open, more red veined Vamplars spilling forth to run through a few of their still stunned brethren from behind.

_Oh God...._

"No one shall leave Therinfal unless they are stained red!" the Knight Captain yelled shrilly with excitement.

"Makers breath!" Barris swore, bringing his own sword up defensively and looking about the unfolding carnage with horror. "Knight Captain what have you done?!"

Denam swung at the younger knight, Barris caught the attack and the two struggled against each others strength.

"I tried to make us stronger! But time has run out," snarled the Knight Captain, swinging his shield up to strike Barris from the side and knocking him off balance.

Then things got hectic.

Taking Denams attack on Barris as a cue to cut lose the Vamplars charged forward, falling on the untainted Templars who had waited with us in confusion as they finally began to realise their peril and drew their own swords. Cries of shock and pain ringing about the dim enclosed space while my companions around the room sprung into action themselves to try and aid whoever they could. Vivienne threw up a quick barrier spell over herself and those closest to her before summoning her spirit blade to swiftly block the swing of a sword meant for her neck. Blackwall charged towards the rear door with a battle cry, stemming the flow of incoming Vamplars with his shield while Sera remained crouched on her tower of crates taking pot shots where she could.

It was chaos. The fray escalating so quickly it was impossible to keep track of what was happening and where as Templars clashed against those they thought were comrades, coming towards us from all angles in such a confined and poorly lit space. Everything was happening at once, swords ringing against shield, arrows splitting the air, screams of pain, flashes of occasional magic from Vivienne, calls of challenge, sprays of blood and gore as bodies began to fall lifeless to the dirty stone floor.

And I was right in the centre of it all.

_Oh God!_

This was supposed to be a peaceful negotiation. Just talking, maybe some yelling or arguing and now...

So much blood, so much pain and fear. So many screams.

_How did I even start to fix this?!_

Cassandra made that call for me, taking quick hold of my stunned and frozen body by the collar of my coat flinging me back behind her towards Bull.

"Keep her alive," she ordered the Qunari as he caught hold of my stumbling form and steadied me. She then turned her hard commanding gaze my way, pointing firmly at my chest for emphasis. "You, stay on the outskirts. Do not engage unless you have to."

"But-" I started to argue only to be silenced by her steely expression.

"Stay!" The Seeker growled before turning and running into the thick of the fray to join the others.

I stared open mouthed for a moment before snapping it shut in annoyance.

_Excuse her!_

I had been a little stunned yes, but I was over it now. I could still fight. I trained so hard to make sure I could hold my own enough to help and I did so fairly well out on the field. And here Cassandra was putting me on the bench while she and the other were in danger.

_Well screw that!_

Taking a determined step forward after the dark haired women I was halted when a long sharp blade cleaved down inches from nose. Jumping back half a step I sent the attacking man a pissed off glare and retaliated by swinging the end of my staff around like a hockey stick and smacking him hard in the side of his knee. He grunted and went down, using his sword to keep himself upright until I kicked it out from under him. He went to hands and knees and I bought my staff down onto his back with a crack. The knight collapsed to the dirty ground with a clutter of steel and an undignified grunt, losing his helmet as he did. As he rolled onto his back so as to see his opponent better I had already positioned myself above him with my staff raised high, ready to bring it down on his skull and crack him open like a water melon.

And then I froze, horrified.

The man was looking up at me. He wasn't young, but he wasn't old either, his face was thin and long and pale, cracks of red lines creeping from the corners of his eyes and up from the tip of his chin. A too wide mouth was twisted into a furious and crazed snarl and his red stained eyes seemed to roll about his head like some kind of rabid creature.

But he wasn't a creature, he was a person. A sick one. Whether he really was a vampire or if something else had changed him this man had once been a Knight like Cullen, maybe he had been one of the ones who liked to hurt Mages, but maybe he could have been like Barris and actually wanted to do his job and protect people. Whatever had been done to him there was always a chance it could be undone.

And I was about to splatter the contents of his head across the stone because I was angry about being ordered to the sidelines.

_Jesus! What was wrong with me?_

So dismayed by what I was about to do I didn't even notice the Templar had regained his sword.

Thankfully Bull did.

The slash would have ended with three feet of razor sharp steel being imbedded between my ribs if a big great axe wielded by and even bigger Qunari hadn't met the attack and followed through by lopping off the Templars arm from the shoulder down. The accompanying shriek of pain and hot spray of blood had me stumbling back in revulsion and fear.

That had been too close.

"Bull, thank y-"

The Qunari quickly finished the man off with a vicious kick that snapped the Templars neck with a crack and turned back to me shaking his head in frustration.

"I don't care if you don't want to finish them off. I don't get it, but I don't care. That's your business. But don't fucking freeze like that again Evie. If you're not going to fight properly then do as Cassandra says and stay out."

I felt my face heat and swallowed down a sudden lump of shame ridden tears that threatened to make an appearance.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just-"

"You're not ready yet Boss," Bull rumbled a little kinder though still very evidently angry. "We can keep you safe but you but you need to listen to us, we know what we're doing."

He was right. I nodded gripping my staff tighter as I mentally shook off the failure. I couldn't dwell right now, we were still surrounded by enemies.

"Where do you want me?" I asked shakily.

The corner of Bulls scared mouth twisted up and his good eye brightened salaciously.

"I have a few ideas."

I narrowed my eyes at him, the inappropriate suggestive tone making my flame with embarrassment.

"Not like that asshole," I sighed rolling my eyes. "In this fight, what do I need to do?"

The smile widened.

"Atta girl," he turned back around and let out a loud roar of challenge that made the eaves shake and dust fall from the ceiling. Looking back at me over his shoulder the Qunari grinned and tested his grip on his axe. "I'll draw them in. Watch my back Boss, take your hits when you see an opportunity then get back and defend."

I nodded in my understanding and fell back into position as told.

We fell into an easy pattern, Bull taunting and tempting attackers to get in close, trusting me to push back or distract those who came at him from the sides until he could deal with them himself. I landed some impressive hits and received a few in return, but it was always Bull who landed the final incapacitating blow while I looked away with a queasy stomach.

The fight raged on, more Vamplars finding their way into the room in a seemingly never ending stream.

Then I heard a low grunt of pain over the dull roar of fighting and a creepy eager laugh. Turning about I could see Barris struggling to reach his sword as he lay sprawled on the ground clearly injured and in pain, gripping tight to his left side, half his face hidden behind a sheen of fresh blood. Knight Captain Denam advanced on the younger knight in a lazy stroll.

"Bull," I warned my voice high with worry.

"He'll have to wait, I got too many on me." The big Qunari said tightly, his eye flicking over to assess the situation before snapping back to three new Vamplars racing our way.

"I'll go then."

"Boss..." He growled hesitantly.

"He doesn't have time to wait Bull," I pleaded nervously. "We can't let him die. I'll be careful. No freezing up, I promise."

"Go then," he growled, cleaving through a Vamplar with ease before catching another by the front of his armour and dragging him forward and into a hard head butt. "I'll catch up."

I didn't give him the chance to change his mind, leaping forward and hastening over to the two fighting knights. Not bothering to go around the table between myself and where they were, I hopped and slid across the smooth surface Dukes of Hazard style. Landing with a graceless stumble I continued on rushing up behind Denam while he was distracted with his target.

With a shout I clobbered him upside the back of his head, causing the Captain to lurch forward and his helmet to dent slightly. He turned around slowly, on seeing me he laughed.

"Herald of Andraste," he purred. "How accommodating of you to come, saves me the trouble of cutting down your army of worshippers to get to you myself. Without them you are hardly a threat are you? Such a pitiful girl..."

_Ok, screw this guy._

"I may be pitiful, but I'm enough of I threat to ruin your plans by the sounds of things. So what's that make you?"

He laughed lowly and began to advance on me, sword held lose at his side.

"You would not be so cocky if you knew what my master has in store for you Lady Herald."

I shuddered.

_Creepy ass mother fu-_

"And what's that exactly?" I hedged, circling him warily as he did the same to me. "What does your master want with me?"

_Come on Denam, do the cliché bad guy monolog and reveal all the juicy details of your nefarious plan._

_That's how it worked in the movies after all._

"You'll find out soon enough," Denam sneered then lunged forward with his long sword coming across in a wild swing.

I blocked it easily then had to bow back to avoid his armoured fist and shield arm as it raced towards my face. I twisted myself around, twirling and spinning my staff across my shoulder aiming a quick but sloppy swing of my own towards his throat, knowing I'd miss but that the move would force Denam back half a foot and give me a chance to regroup and think.

The Knight Captain was heavily armoured, so I had little chance of causing him injury. Even if I did lay a decent hit on the man with that steel protecting him I wouldn't even leave a bruise. My best bet was to just keep him occupied until Bull or one of the others could get here, giving Barris a chance to get away. I was good at that, my light leather armour making it easier to evade.

And I knew how to annoy people. I just had to act like Sera.

Denam lunged again, this time with a straight thrust. I danced to the side and drove my own staff forward like a pool cue hitting him on the side of his face.

I grinned wildly.

"Poke!" I chirped cheerily.

The knight growled low in his throat and swung crossways at my chest, I rolled out of the way and came to a halt off to his side. Keeping in a couching position I repeated the same movement, this time hitting him twice on his hip, the blows thunking loudly off his armour but causing him to stagger just slightly.

"Poke, Poke!"

_Heh, this was kind of fun. No wonder the little rogue liked to mess with people._

He roared, attacking again with a heavy overhead downwards swing. I rolled out of the way yet again the sword digging into the stone where I'd just been as my staff once more propelled forward into his chest.

"Poke, poke po-"

He dropped his weapon and caught my staff mid poke, holding tight enough that I could hear his knuckles popping under the strain.

_Uh-oh._

"Enough of your games," Denam hissed. "I am not to be toyed with woman!"

With a powerful pull I was yanked upwards by my staff, my face smushing hard into the unyielding metal of his breast plate as he did causing a small tickle of blood began to seep from my nose.

_Ok, that hurt._

Denam took hold of my wrist and twisted it. I screamed out in sudden pain and felt my staff fall from my grip. My free hand clawed uselessly at the armoured fist that held me prisoner before his other hand got hold of the front of my leather coat and hauled me up to face him.

"Let me go you creepy ass, glowing red eyed, son of a donkey kissing whore!" I shrieked, struggling to get lose.

"You think your childish antics are cute?!" The knight yelled.

"No, but they are distracting." I rasped breathless with exertion. Smirking defiantly and I lashed out with my good hand, aiming my slender fingers for the small slits in his helmet, feeling my nails grazing flesh as the Captain reeled back. Catching hold of the helmet I pulled it free of his head.

Denams face was not what I expected. He wasn't as old as I had thought, probably in his early thirties. He was shaved clean and his skin was smooth and pale. The Templar could have once been described as handsome with a strong jaw, plump mouth and thick shoulder length caramel hair. But whatever it was that had corrupted his order had taken a toll on his appearance. The red veins that pulsed under his skin had over taken most of his face, the iris of his eyes were such a deep red that they looked to be seeping blood.

It was his left freakish blood red eye that I angrily spat into.

_Yep, I was all class._

Admittedly I was being petty and nasty to this man, but whatever it was that he and his master were up to had caused all this. He had led the Vamplars into this room, ordered them to butcher their Templar brothers and sisters and from the way he had spoken I was positive that Denam not only knew what had changed these Templars but that he'd somehow been a part of it. That was unforgivable.

Plus he called me pitiful.

_The bastard._

He recoiled but still held tight.

"Consider yourself lucky bitch," The knight sneered through angry gritted teeth. "The Elder One wants you alive. Otherwise I would be strangling you with your own innards."

"That's disgusting!" I said, feeling my nose scrunch up in repulsion. "You have some serious issues buddy."

"And you aren't worth my time. You are weak, powerless. I may not be permitted to kill you just yet, but I don't have to waste my time with you either. You are no threat."

And with that he thrust me backwards. I staggered and fell hard against the sturdy table, twisting to catch myself on solid wood, the edge of the table biting painfully into my ribs and side as I did.

_Oh yeah, that was going to bruise._

Gritting my teeth against the pain I glared back at Denam only to find he had retrieved his blade and had turned away from me, making his way back to where Barris was hunched sword in hand but struggling to stand. Believing I was of no real threat to him the Captain had washed his hands of me and was intending to finish off the young Knight.

_Shit!_

My staff was too far away, having rolled across the floor towards the far door after I'd been forced to drop it and going after him bare handed was sure to end poorly. But I needed to do something, Barris didn't appear like he would survive another attack. Looking around hastily for a weapon my desperate eyes fell to the table surface and began to search.

Papers, a few empty bottles, enough dust to make an asthmatic run for cover and the....

_... Hello....._

With no time to second guess my very dubious choice of arsenal I roughly took hold of the silver tea tray. It was heavier than I thought, made of slightly tarnished silver metal with its base more than a centimetre thick but that worked to my advantage. The sturdier it was the better for what I had planned. There was the delicate chime of breaking china as most if not all the pretty tea cups bounced from the tray and rolled from the table to the stone floor, I winced with remorse.

_Regretful sacrifices for the greater good_ , I reminded myself sadly. I didn't need the lovely and sweet little tea cups, as adorable and pretty as they were. I needed the tray and the pot. The large bloated pot decorated with hand painted flowers and trimmed with gold, still filled with scolding hot peppermint tea.

I wasted no time in chasing down the Knight Captain, catching up to him with ease. He turned at the sound of my approach, a look of sheer annoyance and contempt on his face...

Right up until I smashed my tea pot into it.

The china shattered, boiling hot liquid splashing across the side of his face and down his neck, drops splattering across the back of my hand in the process. It stung horribly as most burns do, even the small ones. I couldn't imagine how painful it was for Denam, but his sudden screams of furious agony painted a pretty good picture. The Captain gripped at his face and flailed about violently with his sword.

"Aaargh!" He hollered, pulling his hand away revealing the left side of his face to have turned a bright painful pink, this skin having gone shiny and one or two small blisters forming on his cheek along with one long ragged cut likely caused from the sharp broken crockery. "You bitch! I will-"

I took hold of the tea tray with both hands and using all the upper body strength I could muster smacked him across the other side of his face with it, stunning him with my abrupt interruption. The force of the strike rippled down my arms as the tray clanged dully against his thick skull, a small jaw shaped dent appearing in the metal. Denams head snapped to the side and he stumbled off balance.

"You'll what?!" I heaved holding the tray up threateningly. "Kill me? Turn me? You gonna bite me bat boy? Go on, tell me. What's your master want with me? Why are even you doing this?!"

"You could not even begin to comprehend." He sneered taking hold of his weapon and reengaging combat, bringing his sword down towards me.

Raising the tray in front of me I caught the attack, his blade cutting a few inches into the sturdy sheet of moulded and engraved metal.

"Try me!" I challenged, digging my heels into the ground to hold my stance as he continued to push down with his sword.

"The Templar's were weak!" Denam screeched, red stained spittle flying from his mouth with rage.

"So killing half of them will make the order strong? Genius idea!" I grunted, arms straining to keep the tray in place between us as his sword bit down another few inches.

_Crap!_

"You do not know, the power that walks this land! No one can oppose him! You can only hope to be strong enough to be of use to him."

"Who?! Who is doing this?!"

His smiled turned wide and sinister.

"The Elder One comes for you little Herald. If you had any sense you would hide yourself away in the deepest darkest pit you could find and pray he doesn't find you."

I swallowed hard.

_Yeah... ok I'll admit, that was fucking terrifying._

Someone else was out there pulling the strings yet again and whoever it was needed me alive for something. That wasn't good. While it meant I was likely to escape this still breathing that wasn't necessarily a positive thing, there were many worse things out there than death after all. I didn't want to be used for whatever nefarious things this 'Elder One' likely had in store for me. But by the sounds of it things he wasn't here yet, which meant there was still time to get away.

"Well you can tell your Elder Asshole he can kiss my backside!" I seethed and twisted my tea tray sharply, yanking the sword from Denams grasp and tossing it and my tray to the side. Disarming us both in the process but my tray was of little use with his sword stuck in it anyway, so it was more his loss than mine.

Unfortunately I had forgotten about the very large professional Templar shield still strapped to his forearm. For a brief moment I had a very clear up close view of the Templar insignia painted on its front and some very impressive scratches on its polished surface right before it pummelled into my head and shoulders with the force of a charging ram.

I went down hard to the dirty stone flooring, trying to cushion the fall with my arms but it did little good. My head bounce off the ground with a dull crack, the force of the rough landing enough to jar my shoulder and knock the breath from lungs.

_....._

_...._

_....Ow_.

I lay there gasping and wincing, rolling to my back with a groan I swore I could see miniature Cullens flying about shaking their heads at me in disappointment. He always did warn me to watch for the shields.

_You can consider that lesson learned Commander_.

I blinked and the Cullens began to fade, instead I found myself staring blearily up at the twisted red veined face of Knight Captain Denam.

"You see now Herald," he said triumphantly, holding his arms out wide. "You are foolish and weak. You don't stand a change. This is what happens when you fight against the flow of power."

"No," I murmured tiredly, struggling to prop myself up on my elbows. "This is what happens when you let yourself get distracted by a pitiful girl."

A flicker of confusion and doubt crossed the Captains arrogant face before it changed to a expression of shock and pain as a large axe slammed into his side, splitting his armour like it was a can of baked beans while a sword slid into the small gap of unprotected space beneath his out stretched arm.

I looked away, hearing the burbled groan of pain and slide of retracting steal as Bull and Barris both removed their weapons from Denams body. There was a heavy thump and clank as his body collapsed.

_Damn it._

He was a bad man, a very bad man. Still the guilt and horror of what I'd just been a part of swirled about my stomach like live eels.

"You alright down there Boss?" My bodyguard rumbled with concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I lied and began to struggle to my feet only to get hit by a wave of dizziness and plop back down on my backside.

_Whoa._

"You don't look alright," Barris wheezed, the knight staggering over to the table for support.

I almost laughed. The Templar had to look at least twice as bad as I did. He was covered in blood, the majority of which was his. The worst I'd received so far was some nasty bruising, a bloodied nose and a very woozy head.

Admittedly it would be easier to stand if the floor would stop spinning.

"Maybe just sit there until Vivienne can check you out," Bull suggested. "The fights pretty much over anyway."

I perked up at that bit of information, turning to quickly look up at the Qunari.

"Is everyone-?"

"We're all fine Boss, still moving and breathing. Uh.... well we are." Bull looked sheepishly over to where Barris stood leaning heavily against the table. "The Templars didn't do so well."

The Knight stared dully across the room his dark eyes swimming with grief, no doubt surveying the carnage of such a bloody fight that had left many of his comrades dead.

My gaze remained on Barris and Bull, too afraid to look at the massacre myself. I didn't want to see it.

_Poor Barris, seeing his friends slaughter by their own order no less._

I began to say something comforting to the man who had just helped save my life then stopped. We were responsible for this devastation after all. I had no right to say anything. If we had not come here...

_No... That wasn't it._

We had forced Denam to move his plans forward but they had always been in place. But that led to an entirely different line of thought.

_How long had this been going on? And why? What was the point in turning the Templar order into... into this?! And how had he done it?_

So many unanswered questions on top of all the others already piled on my conscious. It was giving me a headache.

Or maybe that was the mild concussion.

I groaned, closing my eyes in frustration. It was always one problem after another.

_Would this never end?_

When I felt a cool delicate hand land lightly on my head I cracked my eyes open and looked thankfully up into Madame Vivienne's stunning unblemished face. Amazingly the Imperial Enchanter had somehow managed to remain spotless and pristine throughout the bloody scuffle.

_How does she even do that?!_

The cold tingling sensation of Vivienne's healing spell made my head buzz unpleasantly but I could feel the pain ease bit by bit.

"Thank you Vivienne," I sighed gratefully when I was once again able to stand without falling over like a drunkard.

"Glad to be of assistance my dear." She purred, straightening up and looking down at me with a slight shake of her head. "Though there is only so much even I can do. You're a mess darling."

I looked down. The Enchanter was right, I was a mess. My leather coat and breast piece were covered in dirt and splattered with blood. I didn't need a mirror to know my face was just as dirty and likely twice as battered.

"Still breathing though, so that's a bonus." I said with a forced grin, using the back of my hand to wipe blood off the top of my lip.

"Bonus! Maker preserve us, it's a miracle you are not dead Evie!" Cassandra seethed stalking toward us with Blackwall close on her heels, the two of them having finished off the last of the Vamplars. "We spend months teaching you how to use that stick and you choose to engage in a fight with a Knight Captain using a tea pot. A tea pot!"

"I lost my staff, I had to improvise." I defended indignantly. "And it wasn't just the pot, I used the tray too."

"I thought she did pretty well," Bull offered grinning widely. "Would have been nice to hear a few tea based puns though. Like 'did you want one lump or two?' Hehe get it?"

I grimaced.

_That was awful_.

"Don't get me started on you Iron Bull," The Seeker said, turning her ire on the Qunari. "You were supposed to keep her out of trouble."

"I don't need a babysitter Cassandra!"

"I did keep her out of trouble, Evie's still in one piece." Bull said defensively, the two warriors ignoring me completely.

"That's not the-"

"Uh.... shouldn't we be focussing on the task at hand?" Blackwall interjected hesitantly. "There is still a fight going on out there. The Templars..."

"Yeah, what the friggin heck is wrong with them?" Sera asked coming in to join the small gathering, glaring suspiciously at Barris.

The young man shook his head.

"I... I don't know. I don't understand. The Knight Captain... it makes no sense." He said lowly, voice filled with confusion and grief.

"Maybe we should ask him," Blackwall suggested nodding his head toward Denams fallen body.

I looked at the Warden in surprise.

"He's .... He's not dead?" I asked shakily.

"He's alive, barely." Barris answered, glaring disdainfully over at his superior. "If you use a healing elixir he may survive... if he even deserves it."

"We should heal him then," I said quickly. "Denam might have some answers for us."

"I agree we have no idea what came over him," Blackwall approved.

"Want a bet?" Bull growled giving the fallen Templar a vicious kick to his ribs.

"He hardly deserves our charity." Vivienne said scowling and folding her arms over her chest, obviously unwilling to offer her magic to save the man.

"It's not for his sake." I reasoned, pulling out a small healing potion from the pouch on my belt and carefully tossing it to Blackwall to administer. "We need to find out what happened here. He knows something."

Not to mention it would be one less death on my conscious. The relief I had felt in finding out Denam was still alive was almost shameful.

Blackwall kneeled down and carefully poured a small amount of the potion into the Knight Captains blood stained mouth, enough so he would live but not enough that he would be up and walking anytime soon. As much as some of the others may have disapproved nobody stepped forward to stop the Warden.

"Wait!" I called out after a moment. Blackwall who had been about to stand up looked at me curiously. I bit my lip and hesitated before blurting out hurriedly.

"Can you check him for fangs?"

The grisly man blinked at me in stunned confusion.

"Why?" he asked slowly, bushy eyebrows pulling together in perplexity.

"Well...to check... encase he's a vampire."

The entire room turned to stare at me in silence, their expression ranging from concern to sheer disbelief.

I swallowed nervously.

"A what?!" Cassandra squawked.

"My dear you can't be serious," Vivienne snickered.

"Oh come on, you saw those guys! Red glowing eyes, freakish veiny marks .... creepy castle. And all that talk of the Templars needing to be 'changed'. It's a little vampirey right?" I raved adamantly.

"Vampires aren't real," Cassandra dead panned.

I stared at her in frustrated exasperation.

"Ok so demons, dragons, magic, spirits, gods and even flipping werewolfs can be real here but not vampires? How is that logical? Where's the bloody line?"

"Evie...." The Seeker hissed warningly.

"I'm just saying it possible," I squeaked defensively. "... Right?"

Cassandra and Vivienne just looked at me and shook their heads slightly. Barris stared at me like I'd grown a set of fangs myself.

"No fangs," Blackwall announce from his position by the Knight Captain and looking up at me with an apologetic shrug. "Sorry Herald."

"They could be retractable," I offered, thinking of the funny click all those True Blood Vamps made when they went to bite someone.

"Clever," Bull rumbled. Cassandra glared at him to which the big man shrugged backed away half a step. "What it would help them blend in- if they existed, which they don't... I think."

"I think the glowy red bits already give em' away." Sera said hedging away from the downed Templar cautiously. "Can't blend in with all that shite going on."

"For Andrastes sake! They are not vampires!" Cassandra sighed angrily.

"Well then what are they?" I asked.

"They are Templars!"

"With glowing red bits," Sera added dubiously.

"Well they are Red Templars," Cassandra contended firmly. "They are not vampires."

"But-!" I began.

"Not Vampires," She said firmly eyes hard. "End of discussion."

I relented, raising my hands in surrender.

"Ok, ok. Red Templars fine! It was just a thought..."

I crossed my arms and pouted a little at the Seekers severe dismissal.

_Red Templars sounded a lot less cool than Vamplars in my opinion._

"So what do we do about these Red Templars?" Blackwall asked, standing up from the ground with a slight grunt of effort. "They want the Herald."

"No idea what for," I added with a shudder. "All I got from Denam was his master was supposedly very powerful. He kept talking about an 'Elder One'."

"Then we find out more," Cassandra declared thickly. "The Lord Seeker must be here somewhere, surely he will have more information."

"The Templars..." Barris quickly interjected. "The ones who haven't been turned, they are still in danger. Please you must help me save them."

"We'll do what we can," I said looking over at my companions hopefully. "Right?"

Cassandra nodded solemnly.

"We must hurry," she said and made her way over to the door Denam and his goons had first immerged from. "Vivienne if you have a moment are you able to make sure everyone is as fit for battle as possible? I suspect we will need every advantage for what we are about to face out there."

Vivienne graciously agreed and quickly went about healing what she could before taking a lyrium potion to regain her mana. Bull and Barris did one last search of the room for signs of life from any of the fallen Templars only to return to the group grim faced and dismayed. We rechecked our armour and weapons and positioned ourselves at the door, ready to move out.

The sound of fighting still raged, echoing distantly about the old fort.

I took a deep breath.

There were seven of us, against a potential armies worth of Red Templars. They had a clear advantage.

But that didn't matter, because someone had to stop this now. In a way we were almost lucky we had arrived when we had, when there was still a chance some of the Templars could be saved.

I was scared, but I was also angry and determined. What was happening here was beyond wrong but we could stop it spreading further.

Cassandra opened the door and stepped though, Blackwall and Sera close behind. Then Bull. Then it was Vivienne and mines turn.

With my staff gripped tight in my hands I walked through, thinking to myself and shaking my head ruefully.

_I must be bloody insane to be doing this._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, Evies imagination is so strange.  
> What did you all think?  
> I'll try to make the next chapter a bit shorter, hopefully it'll come out quicker that way. Though kudos and comments also help get me motivated, hint hint.  
> Also if your after something a bit more heated my side story Frustrations is now complete and up on my profile. If you need an Evie and Solas fix to get you through the slow burn of this story please check it out and leave a kudos.  
> Thank you guys!


	41. Descent into Madness- The Trouble with Templars Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You're hearing voices Evie and this time it's not just your inner self being a smart ass. '
> 
> As the Inquisition begins to storm Therinfal in search of answers Evie is confronted with something horrible and begins to doubt her own mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!  
> I know its been awhile... Again. And this chapter's not as long as I'd like but I had to break it up a little. The Templar arch is going to be a drawn out one I'm afraid and I'd rather give you guys something to read when I have it.  
> You may notice I've upped the rating to E. I was going to do that when I finally got to the smutty fun stuff but after writing this chapter and some other parts to come I decided to up the rating early to be safe. There are some kind of dark topics and scenes coming up involving mental health, death and some pretty gory deaths to come. I'd rather not upset readers with stuff they aren't prepared for. The smuts still some ways off yet so I hope you'll bare with. If People don't agree with the rating please let me know and I'll change it.  
> Anyway  
> Warning for angst ahead and child death... Yeah shit just got dark.

## Decent into Madness ##

The Trouble with Templars - Part 3

 

The corridor beyond the store room was silent and still, even as the sounds of fighting echoed about Therinfal Redoubt. Apart from the bodies of two dead Templars slumped on either side of the store room door it was empty. It seemed we had cut down all the Vamplars.... er Red Templars who had been sent to deal with the bothersome Inquisition. They evidentially hadn't expected us to make it past Knight Captain Denam and his men otherwise there would have been back up waiting for us.

Unless we had taken them out as well, there had been a lot of them. The body count left behind in that room alone was proof my companions were crazy OP and should not be messed with.

Cassandra naturally took the lead, nodding her head silently towards the right and edging forward with her weapon drawn. Our party followed suit and came across a dead end in the form of a small study or office area. There was a depressingly sparse and dusty bookcase set up against one wall and a long bench scattered with papers across another. A quick examination of the missives revealed that the Knights had been segregated to the forts lower barracks by orders of the Lord Seeker, keeping them away from the Templar officers while they _'planned their next move'_ or whatever that meant. While interesting this didn't exactly give us any answers, just more question as to what the hell was going on here.

I felt as if I were a part of a Scooby Do episode, looking for evidence and clues so in the end I could rip off the monsters mask and expose that it was the Butler all along.

_If only._

I suspected that Lucius was ultimately responsible for everything happening here today, though at the moment there was no way to be sure. There was a chance that maybe he was trying to stop whatever was happening and had been just as blind to the goings as Barris had been. Maybe Denam did this all under Lucius's nose and it was some kind of evil Templar rebellion. Maybe Lucius was already dead, killed by his Knight Captain. But I didn't think so. I thought it more probable he was also working for this 'Elder One' Denam had spoke of as his master, that they were both servants to this mysterious new enemy.

The trouble was I got the feeling both Cassandra and Barris were holding out hope that the Lord Seeker wasn't actually involved in the corruption of their order. That particular betrayal as well as the loss of so many Templars might just be too much for them to accept in one day.

And I couldn't blame them for wanting to hold on to that hope.

Turning around we made our way back down the corridor, passing by the blood filled room of death to cautiously creep up a set of stone steps to the next floor of the keep. Cassandra kept the lead, pushing through a wooden door shield raised in front of her with Sera aiming her bow over one of the Seekers armoured shoulders and Vivienne poised behind the other, her staff extended and crackling with lightning ready to launch at the first enemy that tried to attack. I watched from further down the steps next to a stoic Blackwall, noticing the way the three women quickly scanned the new area and slowly relaxed their guard before stepping forward and signalling it was safe to follow.

The room looked to be a very big dining room with several long tables and benches pushed to the far wall, I realised quickly that this was Therinfals mess hall. Sparsely decorated but not as dusty as the rest of the fort we'd seen. This room likely got a lot of use from hungry Templars enjoying hot meals with their comrades. I could almost picture the now empty space filled with the sounds of dozen of men and women, laughing and talking as they took respite from hard days of training, drinking and eating their fill with their brothers and sisters in arms. It was easy enough to imagine, I saw the same thing when dinning with the Inquisition members either out in the field or in Havens tavern.

I wondered if during their last meal in here if any of them had known that soon the Templars would be slaughtering each other on the battlements. If any of those Red Templars had sat there amongst their peers talking and smiling, all the while knowing that soon....

Barris made a pained noise of distress up a head, bringing me out from my musings to haul my staff up defensively and look towards the young man as he slowly began to walk across the room to furthest corner, his shield and sword lowered. Vivienne, Blackwall and Bull followed close behind while Cassandra seemed to freeze in place with look of sheer horror on her stern face. From the very back of the group I couldn't make out what it was they were walking towards but from the others reactions it wasn't good.

"By Andraste... no," Barris groaned shaking his head and raising a hand to his face.

"What's wrong?" I anxiously asked, talking a step forward to follow.

Blackwall turned quickly and stepped into my path, blocking my way forward. The Wardens face was hard and grim. I frowned, annoyed at being kept in the dark I tried to see around the tall man, craning this way and that to see over his shoulder or under his arm until Blackwall took hold of my upper arms and held me still.

"Damn it Blackwall what's going on?! What is it?"

"I don't think you want to see this My Lady," he said gruffly.

_Clearly Blackwall never got the memo that chivalry was dead._ I normally found his gentlemanly behaviour around me rather charming for such a grisly brute of a man, but right now it was just annoying.

"See what?" I asked cautiously noticing the strain of the warriors jaw. "What's wrong Blackwall?"

He shook his shaggy dark head sadly and looked back over his shoulder to the corner.

"It's the young lad, the one who bought the tea tray." Blackwall revealed his voice tight and pained. "The bastards didn't even let a defenceless boy go free."

I stared at Blackwall in horror, his words not making sense.

"No... that's not... nobody is that twisted." I stammered in disbelief.

And I stupidly stepped around the Warden in some wasted desperate attempt to try and prove to myself that these Red Templars weren't that far gone.

That was a mistake.

The young squire who we'd last seen nervously backing out of the storage room not even thirty minutes ago was lying on his front in a cold pool of already drying blood. His head was facing across towards the door we'd just entered by, dead eyes staring and fixed in fear as if he'd been looking at that door and praying someone would come through and save him even as his attackers repeatedly bought their swords down upon his back.

I stared in horrified silence as what I was seeing sunk in.

_Oh God._

He was a kid, just a kid. I'd babysat dozens just like him during high school. He didn't even look old enough to have hit puberty yet. And they'd killed him. Murdered him.

And we'd been just a corridor away.

I felt my stomach roll, threatening to reintroduce this mornings breakfast back to the world.

_How could they?_

"That's just.... just wrong! I mean he wasn't a threat to no one." Sera said shaking her head in repulsion before her face turned livid. "These bastard are going to pay right? We'll make em' pay!"

"They are monsters!" Cassandra seethed, covering her own heart break with anger. "Horrible!"

"We all noticed," Vivienne snarked dryly. "There is nothing else we can do for the boy now, though perhaps taking care of these retched excuses for Templars may be of some comfort to his family."

_Revenge,_ I thought dully. _They wanted revenge._

I could understand that, they were angry, wanting to kill off the evil that had cut this young boys life short far too soon. I should've been angry too, after all I'd been so full of righteous rage not that long ago.

But I wasn't.

The sight of that poor boy, the thought of what his last moments might have been like, frightened and confused and in pain... I felt hollow and cold. Empty. Defeated.

Sad, I was so very sad.

Because no matter how many of these Red Templars we cut down, it would not bring this kid back. And because no matter how the rest of the day went it suddenly felt like we'd already lost.

Even so I knew, as awful as I was feeling right now there was someone else amongst us with greater reason to grieve.

Barris stood staring miserably over the squires body. His hands were clenched tightly on his weapons handle as he seemed to struggle with his own emotions. I walked over, reaching out to put a tentative hand on the knights forearm. It took a few moments for my presence to register with the young man but when his dark eyes finally looked down at me there was no mistaking the tears he was struggling to hold back. My chest tightened with sympathy.

_Poor guy, this must be torture for him_.

"What was his name?" I asked softly.

"Kavin," Barris answered tightly. "He came to us last summer. Foolish boy was so determined to be a Templar, like his older brother. He idolized the Knight Captains and they... How could this have happened?"

"I... I don't know, but we're going to find out." I promised solemnly. "We'll do everything we-"

My heartfelt pledge to try and fix whatever it was that was wrong here was cut short by someone else talking. A man's voice seemed to ring out from just behind my right shoulder, low and gritty it rang around my head in an eerily distorted way.

_"PREPARE THEM,"_ it rasped _. "GUIDE THEM TO ME!"_

Spinning about in alarm I expected to see an enemy coming at us from behind but found only the empty space of the mess hall. I frowned in confusion and looked to the male members of our party to see if one of them may have been the cause of the odd voice yet Blackwall, Bull and Barris remained silent. In fact from the look of my companions they hadn't heard anything, even Sera and Bull with their inhumane ears were not searching about as I was. Only Barris seemed to be paying me any mind, his dark gaze eyeing me inquiringly as I stopped talking midsentence.

"Lady Herald?" he queried in concern looking around as I did before looking back down to me and frowning. "What is it?"

_Odd, my imagination wasn't usually so... freakishly vocal._

"I... uh, I thought I heard..." Shaking my head as if to clear it and gave the Knight an apologetic smile. "It's nothing, must be hearing things. Sorry... probably still be a bit muddled from Denams last hit. Maybe my ears are still ringing a little..."

"Perhaps your friend should see to you again." He suggested looking towards where Vivienne stood across the room.

I waved his concern aside with the rationalisation I was likely just overly anxious again and my mind was turning odd echoes into words.

"Not necessary, I'm ok really. Besides I don't think we'll have time."

Even as I spoke I could see Cassandra and Bull speaking in low undertones with each other, preparing to open the door to the next room. Realising we would be moving on I bit my lip and reluctantly shot another glance towards the dead boy. We didn't have time to properly attend the body. God only knew how many more people would fall to these Red Templars while we prayed and mourned the loss of one child. We had to keep moving.

Still leaving him here like that....

_He deserves better._

After a quick scan of the room I jogged over to one of the walls where an old and moth eaten tapestry still hung. Looking up at the faded material and the symbol of the Templars blade bathed in the Makers holy light I gripped the heavy material and yanked. For a moment the tapestry seemed to hold stubbornly to its fixtures. I strained, pulling back and using all my weight and strength.

"Come on you stupid rag!" I hissed between gritted teeth. "I don't have time for your shi-"

There was a loud rip as the fabric suddenly gave up its fight and I fell down with an undignified cry, the dusty tapestry coming along to bury me in mouldy woven threads. With a small grumble of annoyance I coughed and spluttered my way out from under the material and dragged it over to the squire. Ignoring the stares of my companions I took a deep breath and knelt down besides Kavin.

Before coming to Thedas the prospect of touching someone recently deceased had seemed, well... really creepy. Death was something hidden behind coffin lids and sad photo montages at funerals. Here it was everywhere I went, broken empty bodies in open fields and strewn across roads. It was never pleasant and I was often repulsed by them but I'd become somewhat accepting of the corpses, hard not to when you started living your life surrounded by them. But now a child had been dragged into it. I was almost afraid of touching him because I knew what I would find; skin too cold and clammy, missing the warmth of life and limbs too limp and pliable. Touching him would make this travesty more real.

However I was not leaving Kavin lying as he was, still staring and waiting for us to come and help.

I carefully turned the young boys small body so he was lying on his back and positioned his arms over his chest. It was horrifically easy to do, like he was just a large stuffed doll. No resistance what so ever. When I was certain I had Kavin looking as comfortable as possible I shook out the tapestry and draped it over him, covering the squire with the symbol of the people he most admired.

"I'm sorry we weren't quick enough kid," I murmured softly bowing my head over the body. "But I'm going to set things right for you, okay?"

I knew I wasn't going to get a reply, but it didn't stop my aching heart from wanting Kavins forgiveness.

When I stood and turned it was to find all my companions at my back with their own heads bowed in remorse. They looked up as I turned, not saying a word.

They didn't have to.

I nodded resolutely and went to stand by the door, waiting for them with my arms crossed.

It was then I realised something.

As grieved as I was by what we'd found, I hadn't cried. The tell tale burning in my eyes and tightening of my throat had been absent. And I knew myself well enough to know that was... unusual. I'd had to force myself not to start sobbing when we'd killed all those wolves in the Hinterlands so long ago, yet here I stood, sad but strangely calm while being faced with the death of a small boy we were to slow to save. By all rights I should be a wailing mess in the corner.

But I wasn't.

And I wasn't sure what to make of that.

Cassandra didn't waste any more time and we were soon continuing on our way through Therinfal. As it turned out the door didn't lead to another room but to a long courtyard, cluttered with stacks of crates and swarming with Red Templars. Several archers had perched themselves atop buildings and ledges. They were the first to see us, raining down a hail of arrows in greeting. It was only because of Vivienne's quick casting that we survived, her barrier spell shielding us all from the deadly projectiles long enough to dive behind the cover of the crates. Sera disappeared from my side at some point and began picking off the Templars from the shadows, her wickedly gleeful cackle echoed after their cries of pain as the archers began to fall from their posts.

Soon enough the foot soldiers began to spill forth and we had to abandon the cover of the crates in favour of standing to fight them off. I stuck close to Bull, repeating the same tactic we'd used earlier; protecting his back as he did the same for me. The Templars were strong but whatever had changed them had made them wild and reckless with their attacks, they drove at us in crazed frenzies making them prone to hasty mistakes. It wasn't too long before only a few remained, Blackwall taking out the last of them with a vicious swing that almost had the poor man severed in two.

"Gross," Sera groused, wrinkling her face in disgust as the Warden wrenched his sword from the body with a meaty crunch.

"Nice!" Bull crowed clearly not sharing the elfs feelings.

I looked at the dead red Templar with pity and turned away to wipe a few splatters of blood off my staff on a clump of grass, feeling icy cold dread creeping up my spine.

I didn't feel horrified or disgusted this time.

I felt empty. Again.

_Why was I suddenly empty? Shouldn't I be glaring at Bull for being so happy about death or swallowing down yet another dry vomit at the sight of a humans innards spilling out onto the soil?_

Then I heard it again.

_"YOU CANNOT HIDE!"_

I stood, my back going ramrod straight as I looked about again for the source of the voice. There was no denying it this time, there was definitely someone talking to us and it sounded vaguely familiar if strangely distorted.

"Was that... Lord Seeker Lucius?" I asked Cassandra who was hovering nearby, rolling her shield arm to disperse some discomfort.

"Where?" Cassandra exclaim in surprise looking about as if expecting to see him standing in a corner.

"I don't know, but he must be nearby.... That voice, I'm sure it's him but it was different somehow...." I mused.

The dark haired women stared at me, brows furrowed.

"What voice?"

"That eerie echoey one that just spoke about _'Knowing us.'_ "

"I did not hear him," she said puzzled.

"Really?" I asked confused. I'd heard it clear as the Nevarrans thick accented words. How could she miss it? I looked over to Sera, who was searching the area for extra arrows, for confirmation.

"You heard him didn't you? He sounded really weird but I'm pretty sure it was The Lord Seeker."

"All I hear is fighting," Sera said with a shrug and a wary look my way. "You alright?"

They hadn't heard it. But that made no sense! Cassandra was almost standing right next to me, she should have heard the same thing I did.

_Because they can't hear what's not there_ , I reasoned feeling cold dread creeping up and taking hold of my heart and squeezing like a vice.

"Yeah fine," I answered the elf with a forced smile, hiding my internal struggle.

The voice wasn't real, it was all it my head.

I swallowed dryly, feeling my pulse quicken with fear.

_You're hearing voices Evie and this time it's not just your inner self being a smart ass._

Hallucinating voices was bad, very bad. Particularly here in Thedas where madness was often associated with possession by a demon instead of a mental illness.

_Was that what was wrong with me? Was I going mad?_

Maybe seeing the dead squire was one too many gruesome deaths for my fragile psyche to handle. Had all the stress and anxiety and fear I'd endured over the last few months finally cracked my mental shield? Was the voice calling out to me in my head a side effect of a fractured and broken mind? It would explain the strange detachment I'd been noticing in myself and it made sense in some twisted way. After all I could only live in denial for so long before the facade came crashing down around me. Everything I pushed aside, ignored and tried to forget had to resurface at some point.

I couldn't keep it suppressed forever. Something had to eventually give and it seemed my sanity was that something.

_Shitty timing for it all to surface though._

"You don't look fine," Sera said edging away slightly. "You look like you're about to hurl."

She wasn't far off from the truth there. It felt like my stomach was trying to escape through my oesophagus.

_It wasn't fair. I'd lost so much already I couldn't lose myself too._

I had enough drama to manage in my life right now without having to deal with potential schizophrenia in a world without psychiatrists and medications. Thedas didn't exactly promote mental health awareness. If they found out I was hearing voices my companions would likely fear demons were possessing their Herald and The Maker only knew what they'd do with me then. Abominations were dealt with in only one way;

A swift blade to the neck and a burning pyre.

But these were my friends, I'd promised myself I would believe in them. Surely they would try and help and not jump to hasty conclusions.

_Right?_

Cassandra walked closer, brows drawn into a fierce line of both concern and suspicion.

"Herald? What is it?" She asked her normally harsh voice seeming softer with real worry.

I looked up at her taking in the sharp features and dark eyes that had become so familiar. That striking face was the last sight of so many people who had fallen beneath her sword, it could very well be the last thing I ever see too. She was a Seeker of Truth, she cut down so many believed to be possessed by demons as had most my companions. Hell Bull, Sera and even Vivienne made no secret of their severe dislike of anything demon related. But the Seeker had been watching out for me even when I was her prisoner, surely I could trust her.

_Tell her..._

I could feel my hands shake.

"I... I think... I think I'm hearing- "

"Lady Herald, Seeker Pentaghast!" Barris called out loudly his deep voice drowning out my own terrified confession. We both turned sharply to stare at where the Templar stood in front of a wooden door to yet another stone building that had been built into the side of one of the forts towers.

"We must hurry, I can hear fighting. This way!" He yelled impatiently.

_That's right we were in the middle of a very big brawl in which deranged and mutated Templars were trying to kill us. Duh! Pay attention Evie!_

"Coming!' I called and began to dash across the courtyard to join the knight.

Cassandras strong hand snaked out to take hold of my shoulder and spin me about to face her.

"Evie?" she said lowly, eyes hard. "If something is wrong you must tell me."

I shrugged out of her hold and turned away, feeling guilt swell within my chest.

"It can wait Cassandra," I said softly not daring to look in her eye. "Those people fighting for their lives cannot. We need to keep moving."

I could feel her gaze burning the back of my head as I walked away.

It was a cowardly retreat, but  even so what I'd said was true. Whatever was going wrong with me right now could wait. Having her and the others worried that I might suddenly turn into a monster wasn't going to help, they didn't need that distraction. Apart from scaring the heck out of me the voice wasn't doing any harm, I could still fight.

_I would just have to book myself in to see a therapist the moment we were done with these Red Assholes._

_... or invest in a straight jacket._

Squaring my shoulder I tried to take a calming breath and refocus on the task at hand.

_"I WOULD KNOW YOU!"_

My hands twitched with surprise as the voice sounded out again but I kept moving forward, ignoring it and pretending I was as deaf to it as my companions were. Being crazy wasn't going to stop me from finishing this.

So long as being crazy didn't get me killed first.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, now to finish the next bit.  
> Also Big giant HUGE thankyou to all of you reading this work :) You guys make me happy and I love hearing from you all.  
> I'll see you all next time.


	42. The Unravelling Truth - The Trouble With Templars Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "That's all we can do? Can't you perform an exorcism or something. Like; 'The power of Andraste compels you!'... or whatever."
> 
> As the truth becomes clearer the situation in Therinfal gets even more dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God. I've updated the story. And this time it didn't take two months! Yay!  
> Much longer chapter here and if I'm honest with myself I'm happier with how this one came out than the previous one.  
> Alright guys I hope you enjoy.

## The Unravelling Truth ##

The Trouble With Templars - Part 4

 

 

 

With my staff in hand and the fear of oncoming insanity weighing like a twenty ton bolder on my shoulders I followed Barris as he led us into what looked to be tavern built onto the side of one of Therinfals towers. It was large, at least three levels worth of sitting space with the upper floors looking out over the first. It was build to house and provide a place of respite and merriment for world weary soldiers with three very large wine or ale barrels positioned off to the side to aid with their relaxation.

And at that moment the tavern was the site of Thedas's most bloody bar fight.

The room was like something out of zombie flick, only the flesh eating un-dead had been replaced by rampaging Templars with a serious case of pink eye or possibly rabies. Again we had arrived too late with several corpses already lying in crumpled heaps across the floorboards, gory red mess oozed from the bodies and splattered the walls and tables. Half a dozen more still stood battling each other, yelling and screaming at their opponents to cease or give up as their weapons met noisily.

_Clearly the booze wasn't doing its job of keeping everyone mellow and relaxed._

Even as we walked in there was loud crash and a terrified scream as someone fell from one of the upper floors. The heavily armoured man fell hard and landed with a sickening crunch on a nearby table where he lay twitching for a moment before going still. I looked up to see a Red Templar standing in a section of broken railing staring down to make sure her victim was dead. After noticing our entrance she was quick to raise her bow and without a moment's hesitation fired at Barris.

With a panicked cry I reached out for the unsuspecting Templar who was still staring in surprise at the fallen man on the table. Grabbing hold of the his swords scabbard I pulled hard causing him to stagger back a step or two and narrowly avoid the arrow as it stuck into the floor at his feet.

"Maker!" he gasped.

"No, just me." I chirped.

"Sera!" Cassandra cried and pointed up.

"Got her," Sera replied casually shooting the other archer in her left shoulder with ease and causing the woman to cry out and fall from the top floor like her previous victim had. The elf then turned back round to the fighting in front of us. "Which ones next?"

"Any red one that's about to kill a good guy," Bull ordered already racing into the fray.

I followed close at his heel but ended up slipping away from the Qunaris side when I heard a women's yell of rage across the room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Get the fuck off me you fucking bastard or I will fuck you up!"

_Wow... Somebody had quite a way with words._

Following the sound of cussing I quickly came across a large heavy set man pressing a much smaller female Templar into a table with their blades crossed in a test of strength. Her face was flushed with exertion and her green eyes were narrowed in pissed off determination as his blade edged closer and closer to her neck.

_Green eyes, not red. So she's a good guy._

_Alright then!_

Coming up behind the man I drove my boot into the back of his knee causing him to grunt and buckle. Bowing away from the Templar women he twisted around to see what had interrupted him, pale red eyes falling to me as he let out an annoyed growl. I took a swing at his face but he quickly met my staff with his long sword and easily shoved me back.

Then the female Templar threw herself off the table with a furious cry and jumped onto his back. Clinging on top of him like a crazed monkey she screeched and drove her sword down through an opening in his armour, the blade grating nastily as it pierced bone and cartilage. He grunted and coughed, a small spray of blood bursting from his mouth before he fell to his knees then forward onto his face.

We both stood breathing rapidly and looking down at the dead man while my companions took care of the remaining Red Templars in the tavern. My already frayed mind was having trouble processing what just happened.

_That was... well damn that was actually pretty awesome. She fought like a wild animal._

"Are you alright?" I asked shaking off my disbelief.

"Huh?" she queried looking back up at me appearing a little stunned by the turn of events. She shook her head a little and pushed back a few strands of thick dark curly hair that had escaped her messy bun. "Uh yeah, he didn't get me."

"Did you know him well?" I asked hesitantly, knowing deep down I probably shouldn't be asking things like that. The answer was only going to torment me further. But I couldn't seem to help myself.

"Oh shit yeah, he was my squad commander," she replied.

"Oh... Sorry."

She shrugged indifferently.

"Never liked him anyway," The woman said cheerfully. "He was a pig, kept pinching my ass. Honestly I've wanted to stab the man since I met him."

"Oh...," I said slowly, not really understanding how she could be so happy about what was going on. "Suppose it all worked out then."

"Heh! Guess it did," She said brightly and grinned across at me. "Thanks for the assist."

"Uh, don't mention it." I murmured looking about to see the others had dispatched of the other Red Templars. Vivienne and Cassandra were kneeling over the prone form of a man trying to heal him while Blackwall and Barris looked on and watched the entrances warily. Sera and Bull were walking about the room checking for survivors.

The Templar looked at me with her head tilted curiously before a large grin split her face.

"You're her aren't you? The Herald."

I winced.

"I prefer to be called Evie but yeah, that's me."

She laughed, a low and somehow mocking sound.

"Well, better you than me Evie."

I felt my eyes widen and my eyebrows creep under my hairline.

"Excuse me?"

That was not the reaction I was used to, most people other fell over themselves in worship or spat out their disbelief and distain. Nobody had really ever pitied me for being the Herald before. I wasn't upset over her words but I was a little shocked.

"No offence," The Templar said quickly in apology. "I just meant I don't envy you. Being Andrastes chosen... I'd imagine it's a big responsibility. Not a lot of fun."

A small startled laugh escaped me.

"You could say that again, though I doubt being a Templar is much fun right now either."

"Never really was but I didn't have much of choice, it was either this or Chantry Sister. At least here I get to hit things," she admitted with a shrug.

I smiled despite myself. I kind of liked this woman.

_She was like a strange mix of both Sera and Cassandra... with a small dash of Bull thrown in for good measure._

"I'm Elaine," she offered, holding out her hand to shake. "Elaine Trevelyan of Ostwick, Templar Knight."

I took her hand out of habit. She had a very strong and sure grip.

"Evie, reluctant chosen of Andraste." I replied.

"Yeah, you already said." Elaine grinned. She had a pretty infectious smile, all teeth and mischief.

"Ostwick did you say?" I ask curiously recognising the name Free Marches city. "You're a long way from home."

"I was a problem child." She said simply, like it explained everything.

My smile grew.

"I'll bet," I giggled before suddenly freezing in place.

_"YOU WOULD BE SO MUCH MORE!"_

The disembodied voice acted like a bucket of cold water, instantly killing any enjoyment I was getting from talking with the amusing Templar and snapping my attention back to the here and now. Back to the horror infested Therinfal and my failing sanity.

I swallowed hard, fear again twisting like a knife in my gut.

_You don't have time for pleasantries Evie, people are dying out there and you seem to be slowly going insane. Doesn't matter how cool this new ladies is there are bigger things to focus on._

"You wouldn't happen to know what's going on here... would you?" I asked hopefully. Any bit of information we could get might be of use.

"Fucked if I know. All the officers seem to have been turned into theses... things! They just came barging in all a sudden and started killing everyone... the fuckers! Didn't even get to finish my sandwich..."

There was the sound of shuffling and pained movements off to my left and we both looked towards it suspiciously. With a silent look shared between us we each raised our weapons to the ready and crept towards the noise, edging around an upturned table to find the injured Red Templar archer Sera had shot down from the upper floor somehow still alive. She lay on her back, the elfs arrow snapped but still protruding from her shoulder. She wasn't in good shape. What was once a pretty heart shaped face framed with a short bob of chestnut hair was marred with several jagged lines of pale glowing red veins that almost looked as if an animal had slashed its way across her face. One arm was out stretch and reaching sluggishly for a piece of folded paper on the ground that sat just out of her grasp, yet even as her upper body reached and shuffled on the floor her legs remained tragically still and lifeless. Her red eyes were glassy and dazed, a small pool of blood beneath her head suggesting a slight concussion was to blame for that. She didn't even seem to notice us.

It was a very sad and pitiful sight.

"What about her?" I asked Elaine softly. "Did you know her too?"

"Yeah." She said just as quietly, her voice strained. "Her I liked."

I looked up at the sound of heavy feet to find Bull walking towards us.

"You got one?" he asked.

At the sound of the Qunaris deep voice the Red Templar seemed to snap out of her stupor. Suddenly snarling she looked wildly around at each of our faces then began to push herself up with her hands now reaching for a discard dagger that was lying on the ground by my foot. Bull was too fast for the woman, his giant foot coming down on the centre of her chest and pinning her back down to the ground in a second.

"Oh no you don't," he rumbled then grunted in surprise as she continued to flail, screaming wordlessly as she clawed and grabbed at his calve trying to dislodge him. "Scrappy thing isn't she? They all seem to be stronger than they should be."

I wasn't paying attention, my eyes falling to the slip of paper she'd been reaching for. As Bull and Elaine began to speak lowly about the women's strange strength and almost rabid demeanour I picked up the piece and unfolded it to reveal a letter written in a strong simple hand.

 

**Marion,**

**I'm getting the same headaches, but everyone on the red stuff says they pass. You'll feel stronger before long. I finally beat sergeant Pollet today, twice! The look on his face!**

**I hear they're increasing rations for anyone on red lyruim. Let's practice together tomorrow. I need to train with someone who can keep pace.**

**Venner**.

I stared numbly at the words trying to process what they meant.

_Red lyrium?_

Varrics words of warning from my very first day in this world echoed through my mind along with snippets of his tales from the Kirkwall rebellion and of Knight Commanders Merediths grisly end.

_'Whatever it is, don’t anyone touch it. That shit's evil.'_

My eyes fell to the woman under Bulls foot, narrowing in on the glowing red lines that pulsed under her skin with horror.

The Templars had been using red lyrium. That was what changed them! It had mutated them, turned them into mindless monsters. And the whole time the Templars had no idea what was happening, they thought it was making them stronger. They hadn't known this would happen. It wasn't something they chose or were even aware of.

_Jesus Christ that was beyond messed up!_

I looked up from the letter ready to call over Cassandra and the others only to find Bull and Elaine had finished talking. The two stood grim faced over the Red Templar, Bulls axe raised and ready to fall.

"Wait!" I called out hastily to stop the action.

"Boss..." Bull began sympathetically. "We can't -"

 _"IT IS FUTILE TO RESIST."_ The voice hissed gleefully from nowhere.

"Shut up!" I snapped realising too late that it would appear to everyone else I was yelling at Bull.

_Aw shit!_

"No not- I mean... Sorry Bull that was rude I shouldn't have.... Just give me a moment, please." I stammered fearfully watching the Qunaris eye darken and his mangled brow furrow. Without waiting for his response I hastily knelt down beside the women, distantly aware that the rest of our party had taken notice of what was happening and had came over to join us.

The archer was still snarling and clawing at Bulls boot, spittle flying from her mouth and running down her chin as she wailed and writhed seemingly unconcerned with her injuries.

"Marion?" I asked hesitantly and watched as she ceased her flailing and turned to look my way, her pale red eyes struggling to focus. "Your name is Marion isn't it? This letter is yours."

Her lips parted into a wide and manic grin, her teeth were stained with red and gritted so tight I was sure they would crack.

"Marion," she gritted out and laughed madly. "MARION! I am beyond that now! I am so much more than Marion!"

The words that were so similar to the ones I'd so recently heard in my head, the ones promising I would be _'so much more,_ ' gave me pause but I was quick to shake it off.

_Ignore it. It's just imagined noise. It's not real, it can't hurt you._

"Is this true?!" I demanded firmly shaking the letter in my hand. "Did you take Red Lyrium? Is that what did this to you?"

I heard Cassandra let out a surprised gasp while Barris muttered out a muffled oath to the Maker.

Marion just threw her head back onto the floorboards with a painful sounding thud and cackled manically.

"Red!" She shrieked. "It all turns red in the end!"

"It can't be." Cassandra breathed. "The Chantry knew of the dangers of Red Lyrium after what happened in Kirkwall, they would never give it to the Templars."

"See for yourself." I said carefully handing the note over to the Seeker, never taking my eyes of the poor soul in front of me.

"It's possible it wasn't the Chantry providing the lyrium" Vivienne murmured, her eyes narrowed as she read over the dark haired women shoulder. "Though that still leaves the question of why would anyone be so foolish as to take such a suspicious substance?"

"They often give us new kinds of lyrium, our commanders." Barris explained sounding almost numb himself. "Some used the red stuff first to prove it was harmless. The knights would have been next."

"Judging by this some already were," Bull growled bitterly.

"It's all red," Marion whimpered. "Everything. Red. Red as roses. Red as Blood! Red as the crystals. It talks. Inside my skin. It sings. Maker it sings!"

I shivered in repulsion.

_Was this what I had to look forward to?_

"Urgh! Shut her up already!" Sera demanded turning away and clapping her hands over her pointed ears. "I can't listen to this shite!"

"We should put the girl out of her misery." Blackwall agreed solemnly. "This is no way to live."

"No!" I gasped in appal. "She's not some diseased animal, she's a person! A sick one."

"She... tried... to... kill... us." Sera spelled out slowly her face incredulous. The elf stepped forward to point angrily down at Marion "That's not sick, that's dangerous."

"It's not her fault she's like this," I argued back.

"Evie..." Blackwall started, putting a kind hand on my shoulder but I shook him off.

"No!" I repeated obstinately glaring up at my companions fiercely. "If red lyruim is what did this to Marion and the other Templars then there might be a way to reverse it. There could be a cure."

"There is no cure Herald," Vivienne said firmly. "The regular lyrium that Templar take is bad enough to get out of ones system. And this red version seems much more potent."

"We don't know that! This has never happened before, nobody has even looked into it yet."

"That's because it is too dangerous to study," Cassandra explained sharply. "Just a small amount of red lyrium has been documented to send even a dwarf mad. It's too dangerous."

"There has to be a way to fix it!" I contended, angrily glaring up at the Seeker. "One that doesn't involve putting her down like a fucking dog!"

"Evelyn!" she snapped back harshly. "Even if there was a cure we do not have it here and now. And right now she is a danger to us. We have no choice."

My hands balled into angry fist, nails biting into my palms as I forced myself to look away from the Seeker else say something I would come to regret. Deep down I knew she was right, there was no way to save this woman or any other Red Templars we would meet this day. But I couldn't seem to get past my anger and frustration to see reason.

_It was just so wrong. So unfair._

"It'll all turn red in the end." The Red Templar whispered, her head turning slowly back to face me. This time I saw the fear shinning through those pale red eyes as they locked onto mine, a slow tear slid unchecked down one cheek.

"Even you Herald," she rasped. "Stained in red.... buried in it. Consumed by it."

Fear gripped me tight in my chest.

_No, no, no, no.... I couldn't be a part of this._

"I can't watch this," I whispered shaking my head.

Without meeting anyone else's gaze I stood stiffly and turned to leave the tavern, shoving past Cassandra and Blackwall without apology and making a break for the fresh air of the open courtyard beyond the door. Once out in the courtyard I covered my face with my hands and bit hard into the palm of my hand to stop a scream of pure unfiltered frustration from escaping my mouth.

_How could they still be so calm about this?! How was it they didn't see just how messed up it was to kill someone because there was no better solution?_

I tasted blood and look down to find I'd broken through my skin with the force of my bite. I'd barely even felt it.

_Great, moving on to self harm already Evie. Perfect._

This was the problem of living in a medieval world of magic; no matter how long I'd been here or how much I learned or adapted, I still thought so differently from these people. When they saw a rabid beast in need of killing I saw a sick puppy in need of healing.

 _Solas would understand,_ I thought sadly. _The Mage always seemed to understand. He would know what to say. What to do...._

I heard Marion begin to laugh again, high and shrill then there was a thud followed by a deathly silence.

Letting out a shaky breath I fell back against a piece of scaffolding and slid defeated down to the ground, drawing my knees up and burying my head in my arms. The light of my marked palm flickering sickly green light into the dark space I'd made for myself as I waited for the tears to start. Sitting in the mud I waited expectantly while rain drizzled down from the havens, the comforting noise of nature mixing horribly with the sounds of fighting still echoing about the fort.

They didn't come.

It was just fear, cold and horrible gnawing at my soul.

_"IS THIS WHAT YOU ARE?"_

"Stop it," I spat out through gritted teeth running my fingers irately through my hair, nails grazing my scalp. "Just stop, I can't take this."

 _"WHAT DO YOU THINK TO ACCOMPLISH?"_ It continued, ignoring my pleas. _"WHAT WILL YOU BECOME?"_

It was actually a good question.

_Was I going to end up like her? Raving with madness, dangerous to others. Maybe way back at the Temple of Sacred Ashes I'd accidently touched one of the many Red Lyrium shards that had pierced through the stones and this was the slow result. Would Cassandra put me down too when she found out about the voice?_

"No, you are not like her." A soft voice said.

Out loud.

I looked up startled to find I was not alone. There was a hat in front of me. A large brown floppy hat, dotted with patches and with a brim so wide it could be used as an umbrella.

I stared, stunned stupid.

_Talking hat..... There was a talking hat... Talking to me._

If the voice wasn't evidence enough of my insanity then this certainly was.

It was only when it spoke again did I realise there was a person crouched beneath the talking hat, head bowed in a way that made it impossible to see more than his bony leather covered knees from around his rather bizarre head dress.

"She is her... was her. Twisted, turned, distorted but still her. A new her, the voices were all hers." The hat boy said softly, a ghostly pale hand slowly slipping out from underneath the shelter of the hat to tentatively touch the back of my hand, "You are you. Frightened, worried, confused but silently strong. The voices in your head are you but there is also another that is not you. Outside slipping in instead of inside slipping out."

_What the...?!_

Over my surprise at the sudden appearance of a conversing hat I recoiled sharply with a gasp and quickly pushed myself back, scrambling a few feet away with my heart thudding in my throat.

_Holy shit where had he come from?!_

"Who-? What are you talking about?" I stammered stupidly, distantly thinking I should be screaming for the others but somehow finding that I couldn't.

" _'Is this what you are?'_ " he asked, voicing dropping into a poor imitation of the deep echoing one that spoke in my head. "He teases, toying and prodding. He wants to know you. You should not let him."

I felt my eyes go wide and my mouth fall open.

"How do you know about that?" I whispered fearfully.

"Fear hurts you, makes you doubt. I want to help, heal the hurt." He answered cryptically, again reaching shyly for my hand. This time I let him take it, watching warily as he took hold of it with cold thin fingers and turned it over exposing my self-inflected bite wound to the sky and rain. With slow careful movements, as if he was afraid I would suddenly bolt or maybe because he wasn't sure what to do himself, the strange young man bought out yellow handkerchief decorated with little white ducks around the edges and proceeded to wrap it around my hand in a very messy bandage.

"You are not damaged, not yet." He continued. "It's not your voice."

Tears began to blur in the corner of my eyes as something inside my soul seemed to snap and unravel.

I wasn't going crazy.

_Thank God!_

"Then whose-?" I asked then realised I already knew, I just hadn't believed it possible. "It's a demon, isn't it? A demon is talking to me."

The hat inclined affirmatively.

My relief at the revelation was quickly swallowed up by a surge of anger swelling up in my chest. Fighting against my mind was awful but it was still me. I couldn't blame anyone else but myself for going mad and it wasn't something I could simply defeat by hitting it hard enough. But finding out it was something else, an evil creature playing around in my head, tormenting me...

_All this time I'd thought I was going insane while I was actually being played by a fucking demon! And I'd almost fallen for it!_

_....._

_Son of a bitch!_

Well I had dealt with demons before and I held no qualms about hitting one hard enough to fix this problem.

I just had to find the bastard.

"They wouldn't have done it." The timid voice said softly from beneath the hat, interrupting my blood thirsty thoughts about hunting down a demon.

"Who wouldn't have done what?" I asked the stranger in confusion.

The hat tilted up, revealing a brief glimpse of a very pale and gaunt jaw and a pair of full cracked lips.

He looked half dead.

"Kill you," he said simply, the eerie rasp of his soft voice making my skin prickle. "You are necessary but also nice, they like you. Fragile, naive, cherished, in need of protecting. You are their hope as well as the key. You should trust them more."

"Are you talking about Cassandra and the others?" I asked warily. "How could you know that? How do you know any of this?"

"They hurt too."

"I don't understand-"

"Herald? Are you alright?"

Cassandra immerged from the tavern alone, the Seeker approaching where I sat cautiously as if she was afraid of my reaction to her presence.

I felt a sudden pang of guilt.

_Jesus Evie, you're even putting Cassandra on edge._

"Not really," I admitted softly unable to look at her and instead staring about the otherwise unoccupied courtyard. "But that's not really an excuse. I'm sorry for my outburst back there, it was uncalled for. Sorry."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" She asked sounding more herself, strong and frustrated instead of cautious and wary.

I sighed heavily and braced myself. It was time to tell the truth and trust she would understand.

"I've been hearing things," I explained quietly looking down at my hand and playing with the bandage on my palm, running my fingers over the little white ducks stitched into the material. "Ever since we found Kavin. I thought I was going mad, that after everything we'd seen I'd finally cracked. But now I'm think it's something else."

"What kind of things?" The Seeker asked, dark eyes going hard.

I swallowed nervously.

"A voice. It sounds a bit like the Lord Seeker but not, like it's been distorted and altered. I think... I think it might be a demon."

"And what has it been saying?" Cassandra asked coldly. This was the Seeker in her, grilling a suspicious person and trying to figure out if they were a threat or not. It reminded me of the first time I'd met her, when I was chained and terrified in the Chantry basement back at Haven.

"Nothing that makes much sense. Just random statements like; wanting to know me and telling me I could be more."

"Have you agreed to anything it has offered?"

I thought hard for a moment.

"No," I answered with a shake of my head. "I thought I was going mad so I just kept willing it to shut up and go away. I tried to ignore it. But..."

"But?" Cassandra prompted, I looked up to find her standing with her arms folded. I almost laughed, her expression was the same as my mums' when she wanted me to admit to eating the last of her chocolate slice.

And her sword was still sheathed securely at her hip, she didn't have it out ready to cut me down. That alone was enough to make my heart flutter with hope and gratitude.

_She wasn't going to hurt me._

But that didn't mean I was out of danger yet. If the demon did in fact manage to influence me then maybe having Cassandra behead me would be a blessing.

"It hasn't gone away," I said staring up at her pleadingly, feeling my throat go tight. "And I don't know what to do to get rid of it."

The warrior exhaled heavily and came forward to crouch in front of me examining my face intently.

"You have not given in to it?" She asked, expression hard and unreadable.

I shook my head fiercely.

"Then why did you not say something earlier?"

"I tried to, but then I got scared. I was an idiot."

"Why?" She demanded eyes narrowed, suspicious.

"This place doesn't exactly have the best track record when it comes to dealing with symptoms of mental illness you know." I retorted, raising my chin defiantly. "I didn't realize it was a demon to start with and I didn't want to end up being treated like an abomination when I wasn't one. Then what happened with that Red Templar.... I don't want to end up like Marion."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"I see..." Cassandra said slowly, raising back to her feet and pinching her chin thoughtfully.

"I'm not possessed," I declared adamantly. "Not yet."

"I believe you," she said. "Though I must admit I'm a little stunned by this. It's very rare for a demon to target someone who is not a Mage and I've never heard of any approaching their victims when they were not in the Fade."

I frowned thoughtfully and looked down at my glittering palm.

"Maybe it's because of this?" I suggested holding it up for examination. "Solas believes it links me to the Fade in a strange way. Maybe it got in through the mark... or something."

"Possibly..." Cassandra murmured thoughtfully and cut her sharp gaze back to me. "And you're positive you haven't promised it anything or made it any deals."

"It hasn't even offered me anything yet, just said I could be more. Whatever that means."

"Good, keep it that way," Cassandra ordered firmly. "Do not listen to anything it suggests. Don't pay it any attention at all."

I raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"Kind of hard to do when it's speaking directly into my thoughts Cassandra. I can't exactly cover my ears and drown it out."

She shrugged.

"You seem to have the demon under control at the moment, as long as you're aware of what it is and do not accept anything it offers you should be safe." The Seeker explained remaining remarkably calm about the whole thing.

"That's it?" I asked doubtfully. "That's all we can do? Can't you perform an exorcism or something. Like; 'The power of Andraste compels you!'... or whatever."

The Seeker stared at me blankly.

I sighed.

_No one ever got my references here._

"Never mind, Earth thing. It just seems risky leaving it there."

"Would you rather I kill you now and be done with it?" The Seeker asked coolly moving her hand to the hilt of her sword.

"Not really!" I squeaked out quickly, wide eyes staring apprehensively at the Seekers weapon.

The corner of her mouth twitched up into a small barely evident smile.

"Neither would I." Cassandra admitted, expression softening for the briefest moment. "For now we have no choice but to just wait and monitor you. We are in a dangerous position at the moment and there is little time to properly think of a solution."

"So that's it, we just keep going?"

"If you can," Cassandra looked down at me seriously. "It's not going to get any easier Evie. If you can't handle what is to come then we can organize Bull to escort you back to the Nobles while we deal with these Red Templars."

"You want me to stay behind," I summarized softly. It wasn't a surprise really, after how I'd just acted and with the revelation I was under mental assault by a demon. I was a liability. It would be safer and less problematic for the others if I stayed behind.

"I _want_ to keep you safe," she replied. "However this is your choice, I will not force you to leave or join us Evie."

I had to admit the notion of escaping this nightmare fort was extremely appealing. No more seeing good people die for something they couldn't control.

However the prospect of abandoning my comrades was not.

Shaking my head I looked up at the warrior resolutely.

"No, I'm seeing this through... If you'll still have me."

Cassandra studied me a carefully, a small almost sad smile crossing her face. She nodded silently and held out her hand. I took it with a rueful smile of my own and was quickly pulled to my feet by the strong woman.

"No more hiding things from me," She ordered sternly still holding tight to my hand.

"No more hiding," I promised.

"Good," Cassandra said pleased then frowned down at our joined hands twisting my palm around and examining the makeshift bandage. "Andraste where did you get this Herald? It looks like a childs."

I pouted defensively and looked down at the little white duckies on the hanky. Trying to think back to where it had come from.

"I... guess I picked it up somewhere." I said with a shrug. "I think it's cute."

Cassandras nose wrinkled. "Well I hope you washed it first."

"Of course I did," I chirped indignantly as I began to follow the other woman back into the tavern.

_I think.... Honestly I didn't even remember picking it up._

#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

 

While Cassandra had been getting the truth out of me the rest of our companions had moved on ahead to the next level of the fort, clearing the area of Red Templars. We caught up with them in yet another stone courtyard this one a little smaller and less cluttered than the previous one. There was an archway on the other side and a set of stone steps leading up further. The only other exit seemed to be a solid looking wooden door around which most of the party were gathered.

We approached just as Blackwall tried the handle.

"Locked," he declared gruffly then proceeded to try and hip and shoulder his way through with a short grunt of effort.

The door didn't budge.

"No kidding Beardy," Sera sniggered by the Wardens elbow.

"Want to help me out then Fuzz Head," Blackwall retorted good naturedly.

"Hehehe... Grand." The elf chortled as she knelt down by the door and took out a set of very well used lock picks and set to work.

I walked over to where Barris and Elaine stood watching patiently, very much aware that Cassandra had pulled aside Bull and Vivienne and was engaging them in a very urgent and hushed conversation.

I could feel my face heat with embarrassment but stubbornly ignored what was going on behind my back. I knew she was telling them about me, about the demon. I had agreed to it after all. But that didn't make the uncomfortable feeling of knowing people were talking about me anymore bearable. I could already feel extra eyes boring into the back of my head like drills.

_Calm down Evie, they are just looking out for you. They are not judging you._

I chanced a quick look over my shoulder to find Vivienne was glaring down at my bandaged hand, eyes narrowed and mouth puckered tight.

_Ok... Maybe she was judging me. Though it probably was more duck related than demon related._

I pulled my sleeve down defensively and pretended I didn't know they were watching me.

"What's through there?" I asked Barris nodding toward the door.

"Knight Captain Denams office," he replied grimly barely glancing my way.

I felt a hard nudge to my ribs and turned to find Elaine staring at me questioningly.

"Got whatever that was out of your system I see," she murmured.

"Ah, not exactly." I mumbled awkwardly thinking of the demon still hiding somewhere in my head. "But I'll be alright now."

"Better than nothing I suppose." She shrugged indifferently.

"AH HA! Gotcha!" Sera crowed victoriously pushing the door open. "Too easy."

"Well done," Blackwall praised ruffling her hair as he passed and walked in.

"Argh! Get off!"

I giggled and followed the Warden in smiling at the archer as I did. Her short mop of blonde hair was standing up in odd angles.

"Nice work Sera," I agreed.

"Told ya I'm useful didn't I?" She quipped, puffing up proudly and falling into step beside me, playfully shoving me with one bony shoulder as she did. It seemed Sera was already over my temper tantrum in the tavern, though God only knew how she'd react when she found out about the voice.

_She'll probably never share a tent with me again._

Denams office had been decked out much better than the rest of the keep we'd seen, with large polished cupboards and shelving lining the walls and a big heavy desk positioned in the centre of the room, kept neat and well lit. The wall hangings and rugs looked new and everything looked tidy and clean.

Apart from the rotting corpse on the ground that is. If it weren't for that tiny detail it would almost be nice.

I covered my mouth and nose and tried not to inhale.

There was a very noxious odour coming from the armoured body. It must have been sitting there for a very long time.

Which made me wonder if they had been cleaning around it all this time. Leaving it like a trophy.

_Urk! Gross._

"That's the Knight vigilant," Barris rasped in horror. "The Lord Seeker told us he'd died at the conclave."

"I've got some bad news for him." Bull grumbled coming into the room with Cassandra and Vivienne.

"That man died of a sword thrust," Blackwall added frowning down at the body.

Cassandra shook her head sadly and kneeled down to say a quick prayer over the fallen Knight Vigilant then stopped when something caught her eye, removing a roll of parchment from his person.

"Was the Knight Captain hiding the body for the Lord Seeker or did he kill him himself?" Barris questioned aloud as he began to pace the crowded office restlessly, his tone dismayed. "Maker! What's happening to our order? I pray the Lord Seeker can explain this madness."

"The Lord Seeker lied," Cassandra suddenly growled, her voice shaking with rage. Turning back her way I noticed the parchment she'd removed from the body was now a crumpled mess in her tight grip. Her normally bronzed skin looked almost pale and the warriors whole body seemed to quiver.

"Cassandra?" I called to her in concern. It wasn't like the Seeker to loose composure like this.

"Knight Vigilant Trentwatch escaped the conclave and returned here in secret at the Lord Seekers request." She revealed, practically spitting out the words like a poison. "And they killed him. Lucius was a part of this all along."

"What!" Elaine yelled storming forward to see the parchment for herself.

"It can't be," Barris whispered following his fellow knight.

I felt for the Templars, watching them re-read the evidence and begin to curse and argue the truth in front of them. Everything they believed about their order was falling apart around them, betrayed by those they looked up to. My heart really went out to them. But if I was honest this revelation about Lucius didn't come as much of a surprise.

_I knew the man was a rat bastard!_

"Is anyone here not a murderous bag of spit?" Sera griped.

I raised my hand tentatively.

Sera rolled her eyes at me.

"I didn't mean out of us," she muttered walking out the door and back out to the courtyard. "Let's go already. I want to get out of this shit hole and put an arrow in the Lord Seekers shit hole!"

"Eloquent as ever," Vivienne sniffed.

"Bite me bitch face!" the elf called back.

"Count me in," Elaine growled stalking out after the elf with Barris following close behind, his hands clenched into angry fists. "I'm going to fuck up that two faced son of a bitch up! I'm will rip- "

The rest of the Templars rant was drowned out by a sudden ringing inside my head.

 _"SHOW ME WHAT YOU ARE!"_ The demon demanded. This time its voice echoed loud enough that it was almost a physical ache. I gasped quietly and turned away from the others, staggering over to Denams desk and clutching it tightly in support as my heart began to race and my vision turned blurry around the edges.

 _No,_ I thought stubbornly _. Piss off!_

_"SHOW ME! AND YOU WILL BE SO MUCH MORE!"_

_Nope. Wrong number. Go away. Not interested._

It seemed to growl with frustration before falling silent once more.

Sighing in relief I relaxed. Rubbing my temple to ease the head ache that was slowly beginning to form I turned around to find Bull standing with his axe out and his face creepily blank.

_Oh fuck._

"All good Boss?" he asked with a menacing undertone.

I raised my hands in surrender and swallowed hard.

"Y-yeah," I stammered. "Still me. It's just getting more forceful."

The Qunaris nostrils flared and his eye narrowed.

"I should have worded that better." I muttered sheepishly, realizing too late how worrisome that would be to hear.

"What did it say?" Cassandra asked coming forward.

"Some as before. It wants me to 'show' it who I am and then says I could be more. It's just sounding more insistent."

"And how'd you respond?" Bull rumbled still suspicious.

I glared up at him.

"I told it I wasn't interested and willed it to piss off," I snapped at the big man. "Now can you back off Bull? I'm already fighting with my own thoughts I don't need to be fighting you too."

Bull grumbled but obligingly lowered his axe.

"Can't be too careful when dealing with demons Boss."

"Yeah well I'm not a demon," I muttered crossing my arms petulantly. "And I don't much like being threatened by my friends."

"You could stand to be a bit less defensive towards our poor Herald dear," Vivienne purred as she glided forward to stand by my side.

"Less defensive?!" The Qunari hissed lowly. "There's a fucking demon whispering things in her head!"

"It can whisper all it likes darling, it doesn't mean it's going to get anything." The enchanter reasoned putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Trust me dear, I've dealt with plenty of the vermin."

"Really?" I said blinking up at the glamorous Mage in surprise.

"Of course! They are attracted to power after all Herald. I've been approached by hundreds while in the Fade. Best to dispose of them quickly and move on."

"How?!" I asked eagerly.

"I find fire works best but ice is more pleasing," Vivienne answered eyes bright and wickedly keen. "Casting Magic in the Fade is always so much more intense, and the colours! I've been trying to find fabrics that could compare for years now. It would make an exquisite gown."

"Oh," I mumbled, disheartened.

Fire was all well and good for a Mage but unfortunately I didn't have any magic powers of my own to play with.

Vivienne chuckled lightly.

"Don't concern yourself darling. There are other ways to cleanse oneself of a demons influence. Keep ignoring it and when we've dealt with these beasts I will help you be properly rid of this annoyance."

I felt my whole being sag with relief.

"Thank you Vivienne," I gushed reverently. "You have no idea how grateful-"

"My dear Evie I'm a Mage," Vivienne interrupted smoothly her face uncharacteristically open and honest. "I've lived with the threat of possession for longer than I can remember. If anyone can sympathise with you at this moment it is me."

I stood, stunned and humbled by the enchanters' words and suddenly reeling with a realisation of my own.

_So this was what it felt like to be a Mage, to be the target of undeserved suspicion and fear. To live with the ongoing fear that one day it might be warranted._

Vivienne's' manicure hand squeezed my shoulder and she leaned down to purr into my ear.

"Stay strong Herald, any sign of weakness and it will strike. And I will not spare an Abomination, no matter how much I sympathize with its plight."

I swallowed hard.

_Well... So much for those warm and fuzzy feelings of compassion Viv._

"Now," Vivienne said smiling serenely as she straightened and began to sashay out to the courtyard. "I believe the Lord Seeker has some explaining to do, shall we go find him Iron Bull?"

"Uh... yes Mame," Bull grumbled giving me one last look of concern before following the Grand Enchanter from Denams office.

"She... is terrifying." I exclaimed softly when they had gone.

"Yes," Cassandra agreed with a small smirk. "Be grateful she is on our side."

I raised disbelieving brow of my own but remained silent. I knew the only side Madame du' Fer was on was her own, we were just lucky that it aligned with the Inquisitions purposes.

For now at least.

We joined the others and quickly continued on, making our way up the next flight of steps with weapons at the ready and watching every shadow for potential threats. The steps lead up to a large stone balcony that overlooked most of the fort. Off to the left a further set of twin steps lead further up to the next level, adorned with lush overgrown garden beds and intimidating tall white hooded statues. Where ever this path was leading it seemed it was to somewhere important enough to be made pretty.

 _"THE HERALD OF ANDRASTE!"_ The voice boomed suddenly making me jump and grit my teeth angrily. It sounded almost victorious and boasting.

 _Can't you take a hint?_ I thought, mentally throwing the words at the intrusion to my head. _I'm not buying what your selling demon! I know what you are. You can't trick me._

Something laughed, the deep echoing noise bounced around Therinfal making my blood run cold.

_Oh God..._

My companions froze warily and looked about the balcony weapons held tight and at the ready. They were looking for its source.

They'd heard it too.

It was outside of my head.

_How...?_

"Cassandra," I gasped struggling to find breath. "Cassandra it's the same voice."

The Seeker turned to me her dark eyes going wide with shock and confusion.

"That's not-"

 _"IT'S TIME WE BECOME BETTER AQUINTED."_ The demon bellowed eagerly, its voice splitting through my head like the crack of a whip making me cry out with pain and clutch the sides of my head desperately.

"Herald!" Blackwall called out in alarm coming to my side and holding me up by my upper arms.

"It's here," I gritted out, trying to find Cassandras face among the crowd of people looking down at me with concern.

"What's she on about?" Sera shrilled, her expression alarmed as she backed away a few steps.

"Where?" Cassandras thick accent demanded. "Where is it?!"

I looked up, bleary eyes struggling to refocus but I knew it was near. I could feel it now, almost like the part of the demon that had latched onto me was calling out to the rest of its whole.

_There!_

Up on the upper floor I could see a man, standing with hands clasped behind his back and wearing familiar robes and armour. His steel grey hair flew out with the breeze in soggy dishevelled strands as he calmly looked down upon us.

And when my gaze met his he smirked coldly.

Lord Seeker Lucius.

There was a crash of an opening door then suddenly a score of Red Templars began spilling down the steps towards us.

"Damn it," Bull rumbled already rushing in to meet the closest opponents.

"Fucking shit!" cursed Elaine following suit.

Cassandra gritted her teeth and turned to Blackwall and I.

"Stay back Evelyn," She ordered before turning towards the Warden. "Keep her safe."

"Of course Lady Cassandra," Blackwall said, the grisly man already hauling me back with him to the far side of the balcony.

Cassandra sent the man a death glare.

"Er...I mean Cassandra. Just Cassandra." Blackwall corrected himself sheepishly.

The Seeker made her trade mark noise of disgust jumped into the fight.

Standing on the sidelines while my friends risked their live was not fun. However I was finding it so hard to focus on anything at that moment I barely even noticed.

My head felt like it was splitting in two. Lord Seeker Lucius's distorted laugh was a constant barrage on my senses even as he stood above us unmoving and silent. I couldn't keep track of anything. I saw Blackwalls anxious face as he practically dragged me out of harms way, bushy out of control eyebrows drawn so close together it turned into a uni-brow. I saw flashes of plaideweave dance about the balcony and a large floppy hat that appeared and disappeared at random. There were flashes of steal and magic and cries of pain which turned into manic cackling.

And all the while I could feel something foreign and cold stretching its fingers out into my mind, into my very soul.

Something was wrong.

_"WATCH HERALD, WATCH AS THEY FALL!"_

Things weren't making any sense. People were dying but they didn't seem to be staying that way. Bull decapitated a Red Knight in one swift blow only for the Knight to stagger back up with his head firmly in place. One moment I witnessed with horror Sera getting run through with a sword the next I saw her leaping nimbly over head to land on the stone railing.

It was terrifying, like I was experiencing a really bad side effect from drinking out of date cough syrup.

 _It's not real,_ I told myself firmly. _It's trying to trick you._

Accept I wasn't sure anymore what was real and what wasn't. Was it the still body of Elaine lying prone on the ground with Barris standing over her the real Elaine or was it the one slowly being strangled by the Red Templar that had only one hand? I couldn't focus enough on one thing long enough to see through the demons illusions, my sight becoming hazy and the splitting pain of my head making it impossible to think.

It was all too much.

I couldn't tell reality from halucination and that made me worse than useless. It made me dangerous. If I couldn't decipher what was real it was likely I could attack an ally by accident.

The only clear thing in the hazy chaos was the Lord Seekers constant presence above, his eyes never leaving me alone.

 _"COME EVELYN, LET US END THIS."_ He said into my head even as the Lucius above us remained still, mouth staying tightly twisted into that arrogant smirk.

This was his doing. His fault. If I could take him out then I was positive this torment would cease.

I watched as Lucius incline his head slightly and turned to walk casually out of view on the above floor.

_No! You are not getting away that easy!_

While Blackwall was distracted by an attacking Templar I stepped out from behind him and began to race up the steps after my target. Taking them two at I time I quickly found myself at the very top, distantly hearing my companions calls of warning being mixed with the very same voices yelling encouragement.

It didn't matter which was real, all that matter was I had him.

The Lord Seeker stood facing a large set of red double doors, his back was to me and his posture eerily calm. He made no move to enter the hall beyond. He just stood.

"Why did you do this?" I hissed holding my staff out to the side ready to strike.

Silence.

"Tell me!" I screamed. "What could you possible gain from all this?!"

He spun suddenly to face me, taking several too fast steps forward to close the distance between us. I swung my staff with enough force to break his arm but he battered it aside like it was a pool noodle instead solid wood. Then his hands were on my neck and pulling me towards him.

"BOSS!"

"Evie!"

My companions cries of distress rang out from the steps as they raced to my aid. Yet even as I struggled, hitting desperately out at Lucius wrists and face I knew they would be too late.

He began to walk backwards, dragging me along with him despite my heels being firmly dug into the ground.

_Not good, not good at all._

The red surface of the doors began to waver, erupting with sudden shimmering green light before settling into a rolling sea of green clouds and moving light. I stared on in hopeless horror as The Lord Seeker continued to walk backwards towards it, bringing us both closer and closer to the shifting emerald wall. I could feel the crackling Fade energy reaching out for us and sparking a painful response from the mark on my palm.

Lucius's face split into a wide victorious grin and his pale cold eyes began to darken, the pupil spreading to block out the whites of his eyes, cracks of Fade green rippling throughout.

"At last." He rasped, stepping back into the green light and taking me with him as it swallowed us both.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look its Cole! Well a bit of him anyway. Plus another new character to play with.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed. please let me know what you all think. Kudos, bookmarks and comments keep me writing so please keep them coming.


	43. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "As interesting as this conversation is I did not come to talk about your sex life."
> 
> Back in Haven an old wolf has found a way in which to keep track of his prey....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something a little different to break up all this heavy Templar stuff and to give a bit more insight on everybody's favourite old god...
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

## Helpless ##

 

 

Up on a high hill overlooking the snow toped roofs of Haven an elf sat perched high in a thick foliaged tree, carefully hidden amongst the leaves and bark. Silent as an empty night he leaned leisurely up against the sturdy trunk, allowing one leg to dangle casually off his chosen branch while nimble fingers whittled quietly away at a small block of wood. He sat and waited, eyes barely flicking away from his work even when the sounds of approaching footfall reached his pointed ears, so confident in his hiding place that the thought of being caught by any of the Inquisitions many patrols never even crossed his mind.

The approaching steps drew closer and closer, the crunch of snow and swish of a cloak giving away the presence of the unknown visitor and marking him as neither spy nor scout, they at least took lengths to hide their presence. This person walked about the sparse woods as if taking a leisurely stroll. That alone finally gained the interest of the elf in the tree. After watching over this town and the surrounding land for months now he knew of only one person who would come into this area alone and at ease among a landscape full of spies, soldiers and assassins lying in wait to either protect the town and its occupants or find a way to destroy it.

He smiled to himself and went back to his carving, delicately sliding the small blade through the wood and carefully outlining the graceful edge of a wing.

A figure draped and shrouded in a simple brown cloak made its way over to the base of the tree, without a word they lowered their hood revealing the pale smooth skin of a carefully shaven head and a set of pointed ears. The man stretched out his arms wearily and gracefully sunk down to sit cross legged at the base of the tree. Resting back against the bark as if it was the softest cushion he closed his eyes with a tired groan.

"You should at least draw your bow when someone approaches you Ghil'falon," The new comer chastised smoothly, never even looking up at the other elf still lounging lazily in the tree above his head.

The elf grinned and chuckled low in his chest.

"And aim my arrow at the Dread Wolf himself? Never! I'm sure the Dalish have a story about a similar tale. I don't believe it worked out well for the archer," Ghil replied still not tearing his sharp olive gaze from the wooden raven he was trying to create.

"And if I were an Inquisition agent, or one of Corypheus's spies?" Solas replied disapproval clear in the tone of his words even if his outward appearance of relaxation didn't change.

The other elf shrugged unconcerned.

"I knew it would be you My Lord. You see, no one knows I'm here. And even if they did and were looking for me they'd never find a trace. But you _do_ know where to find me, so it's safe to assume if anyone approaches this tree with purpose it would be you. Or possibly that pretty soldier and her lover, they've been out here several times now to... well I suspect she likes the thrill of being out in the open. Shemlen have such strange fetishes. Either way I have no reason to be concerned."

"You are too cocky lethal'len, it will be your downfall."

"It's not cocky if it's true Fen'shan," Ghil'falon quipped with a smirk.

"Careful pup," Solas warned lowly. "Remember with whom you speak."

Anyone else on the receiving end of that admonition would have likely wet themselves with fear before falling into a repentant grovel at the old gods feet. However the other elf simply shrugged casually and glanced down at where the Dread Wolf himself sat against his tree.

"If you wanted someone to kiss your ass Fen'Harel you should have picked another to join you on this task."

Solas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Ghil'falon was as loyal a follower as he could ask for and was without a doubt his best agent, able to blend seamlessly into any role he was put into and deadly with both blade or bow. He was observant, clever and charismatic when the occasion called for it. But the younger elf was also extremely laid back and easy going pretty much about everything, even when being reprimanded by an ancient elvhen god he was unconcerned. Yet despite the severe lack of respect towards his superiors Solas couldn't help but like the man. Perhaps it was because Ghil treated him without the unconditional reverence the rest of his remaining followers smothered him with, his brutal honesty was a breath of fresh air among an armies worth of mindless worship.

Or perhaps it was because the man was the only living descendent of his families bloodline and try as he might he did not have it in him to dislike his own kin.

Even if they were insufferably arrogant and uncouth.

"It frightens me how much you remind me of my younger self." Solas muttered under his breath.

Ghil'falon straightened up slightly and cocked his head thoughtfully.

"Really? Well that is something. I feel oddly... proud."

"It was not meant as a complement," The older elf said dryly before looking up and scowling darkly at his agent. "And you have that tale wrong. It was my arrow being pointed, the slow one."

"Oh that's right!" Ghil'falon chirped brightly, snapping his fingers in a gesture of realization. "The one where you let the fierce beast devour everyone in the clan but killed it in time to save the children, leaving them traumatized and parentless but alive. Ashara loves that tale."

"And where is she right now?" Solas asked, wincing but pushing passed the rather unflattering Dalish tale.

The other elf shrugged unconcerned and went back to his whittling.

"Off sulking in the mountains I expect, keeping the area clear as she does. Ash was rather perturbed by your Heralds departure."

"Evelyn is not _my_ Herald, she is not my anything." Solas corrected wearily, they'd had this discussion more times than he cared to recall.

"If you say so My Lord," Ghil'falon replied with clear undertones of disbelief.

Solas chose to ignore him, which was fortunate for Ghil'falon. If any other follower had spoken to him with such disrespect they would have been thrown out of that tree and half way to Orzzamar courtesy of a Stone Fist spell. Not than anyone other than Ghil ever dared to talk back to a deity in such a way.

"I was under the impression Ashara did not much like the Herald," he said instead, frowning in confusion. "I would have thought she would be rather happy about her leaving for a time."

Ghil'falon almost laughed aloud. That Ashara did not much like Evelyn Treval was a huge understatement. Ashara despised the Herald with a passion, even without ever meeting the human in person. The only thing stopping the elven priestess from killing the young women with one of her signature fireballs was the fact that Fen'Harel had given strict orders that she must not die, for the sake of his Anchor if nothing else.

"Oh she was very happy dear Evie was going to be travelling without you for a time, not that she'd admit to it. Ash was humming about the camp for days, it was quite a sight. But since your sweet farewell at the stables she's been raging about like a dragon with a thorn under its tail." Ghil'falon explained gleefully looking down at his Lord with bright curious eyes. "What did you give her by the way? Knowing you there must be more to that piece of jewellery than just a pretty token for your lover."

Solas resisted the urge to throw his head back against the tree in irritation and silently prayed to the old gods for strength.

"She's barely more than a child Ghil. And a human one at that," he reasoned coolly. "There is nothing between us."

"Age is just a number Fen'shan, particularly in your case." The other elf declared sagely, deliberately allowing a shaved curl of wood to fall from his lap and land lightly on the Dread Wolfs head. "If you plan to wait around until you find someone as old as you I'm afraid you'll be out of luck. Our kind have changed while you slept, there are none left who share your gift of immortality."

Solas scowled and plucked the shaving from his head with annoyance, flicking it away into the undergrowth. He didn't need reminding of this rather depressing fact; it was something that tormented the Mage daily.

He wasn't completely immortal. The Dread Wolf could fall in battle just as any man could, though granted he would not die so easy as most. But the elf had stopped aging a very long time ago and his body would always recover from both illness and injury given time, as long the initial damage was not fatal. In the time of Arlathan this never ending lifespan allowed him and his peers all the time in the world to pursue and indulge whatever it was they wished. Years at a time were spent reading, learning and creating master pieces. He had revelled in celebrations and banquets that would be enjoyed for months at a time without interruption. There had rarely been a need for urgency as there was always the promise of forever. However after waking up from uthenera and realising he was the only ageless man remaining in all of Thedas immortality began to feel more of a curse than a gift. Before he had destroyed the very essence of his own kind in order to save them from the Evanuris Solas would have been able to spend his endless years with others of his like. Now he was doomed to live while all those around him withered and fell to rigors of age.

Truth be told it was one of the many reason why he was so desperate to restore his people to their true selves.

Being the only living immortal was a very lonely existence.

"And as for her being human..." Ghil'falon continued, leaning back against the tree with a lazy smile. "She doesn't seem so bad for a shem, probably because she didn't grow up among the ones from this world. And there's something to be said for the softness and warmth of a human woman."

Not for the first time Solas found himself thinking back to that day in the Hinterlands when they had tumbled into the river together. The young woman had definitely felt pleasantly soft and warm sitting astride his lap in the cool water. Then there was the way she had pressed against him that night of the festival, tunic sliding temptingly off her shoulder and face flushed with drink...

He quickly suppressed such thoughts and turned a narrow eyed glare towards his agent in the tree.

"And I take it you know such things first hand?"

Ghil smirked.

"Not all of us are so narrow minded Fen'Harel." He drawled, crossing his hands leisurely behind his head. "It's a new age My Lord and we elves are no longer the greatest civilization. We must adapt, make friends, expand social boundaries, share our-"

"I get the idea," Solas muttered in disgust."By the Creators you're as bad as Iron Bull."

"The Qunari? You think too much of me Fen'shan. Rumour would have it he went through three women and a rather strapping scout the night before they left for Therinfal. I'm good, but I'm not that good."

This information did not come as a surprise to Solas, he'd over heard a few of the women twittering about the encounter outside the apothecary.

"As interesting as this conversation is I did not come to talk about your sex life," he quipped in annoyance.

"No but I was rather hoping you'd divulge a bit about your own..." The younger elf hedge cheerfully.

"Your report Ghil'falon," Solas sighed exasperated. "Or are you wasting your talents and my time on rumours of Bulls conquests."

"My talents are never wasted." Ghil replied indignantly. "However if simple social interaction is too much to ask of my great, great, great, great, great, great-"

"I have little time lethal'len and even less patience. My absence will be noticed soon." The Dread Wolf said, his annoyance slowly progressing to anger at the other elfs antics. Thankfully Ghil'falon was very adept at reading people and knew when to not push his luck.

"Fine," he sighed in petulant defeat. "You have quite the talent for killing fun Fen'shan."

"I'm well aware of that."

Ghil'falon settled back into his perch and crossed his arms over his chest, a frown settling over his brow as all traces of humour disappeared from his cheerful expression.

"Truthfully there is little to report," Ghil admitted. "Whatever it is that Corypheus is up to now he is doing a very good job of hiding it. Our agents have found nothing. Not even rumours. The only leads we have are the ones the Inquisition has found for us, and you basically fell upon them by accident."

"That's a shame," Solas murmured scowling to himself. Admittedly it was not much of a surprise. Corypheus was very old and very powerful, one did not survive to become so without being clever and discrete. He himself was a testament to that. "How are the spies in Redcliffe fairing?"

"They have not heard much. It seems that this Magister Alexius is keeping everyone in the dark, he claims to just be waiting for transport to be finalised and then the Mages will be taken back to Minrathous. We have come across no signs of any ships being hired for such a journey though. Whatever the Venatori are planning with the Rebel Mages it seems they will be doing it here, not in Tevinter. We haven't been able to get close enough to him to find out more. The paranoid bastard bought only a few of his own most trusted slaves so we have no hope of infiltration. And our attempt to get information from one of his slaves was nearly a disaster, Eli almost blew his cover and we were forced to silence the poor girl he'd tried to question."

"There is nothing else?"

He shook his head.

"Apologies My Lord but this is the best we could do." Ghil replied remorsefully. "You ordered us not to be found out, that gathering information came second to keeping our people safe and getting word in and out of Redcliffe has been getting more dangerous. It's like the entire village is closing itself up to the rest of the world."

Fen'Harel nodded in understanding. His people had survived in hiding for many generations without him but they had not thrived. At this stage they could little afford to lose any one good man or women. It was not yet time for the world to know of the existence of the Dread Wolf and his followers. Not yet. Best wait and gather what information they could.

"Sounds like something will happen soon then," he murmured.

"My thoughts exactly," Ghil'falon agreed. "It may be time to withdraw our people before it is too late to retrieve them."

"I fear you may be right," Solas said bitterly. He hated the notion that Corypheus was out playing him. But for now he was powerless to do much more than patiently wait.

He would get his chance. Fen'Harel and his slow arrows....

"Have our agents join up with the Mages the Inquisition are trying to evacuate," he ordered. "Get them to help spread the word and encourage others to leave. Spread rumours of elven mage enslavement if need be. If Corypheus is going to make his move soon then let us make sure he has as few of the Free Mages within his ranks as possible."

Ghil nodded.

"As you wish My Lord. I will pass on your orders right away."

"My thanks Ghil'falon," Solas said with a grateful smile as he listened to the soft shuffling of the elf in the tree as he set about putting away his carving. He may be a pain but the younger elf was reliable. "It is good to know I can trust you with this."

"Of course My Lord, I'm glad to be of whatever assistance I can." His agent replied solemnly. "I would happily follow you to whatever end if it means this world is finally set to right."

"It will be lethal'len," Fen'harel vowed looking distantly out at the snowy little town where history was slowly being made. "Whatever cost I must pay I will rectify my mistakes. Starting with Corypheus."

It would be difficult, the Magister not only held the majority of the Dread Wolfs power within his orb but had also somehow managed to find a way to elude death itself. And Fen'Harel had barely even a fraction of his own power available to him. It was beyond frustrating, being so weak and unable to take back what was rightfully his. But there was hope. The Inquisition was small but strong, given enough time and with some careful guidance there was a chance the organization would be able to stand against Corypheus and his demented cult of worshipers.

And then there was always Evelyn and the Anchor she bore. It was not the same as having his orb back in Solas's possession but there was still a very large amount of his magic currently residing within the humans body even if neither of them could fully access it just yet. Evelyn had no understanding or ability to even utilise what it was she held and Fen'Harel could not yet retrieve it for himself without killing the girl in the process, he was not strong enough.

In the beginning he wouldn't have considered her death to be much more than a regretful necessity. Taking the life of some hapless shemlen in order to take back even a portion of his old strength was a very small price to pay for the sake of his goal. Unfortunately the girl had fallen into Cassandra and Lelianas hands before Solas could claim her for his own. When he had joined with the humans in order to get closer to his Anchor it became evident that taking the girl, even when lying unconscious and unmoving in that Chantry cell, would be no easy feat. Cassandra was determined to get answers for the Divines death and the strange girl was under constant watch. In order to avoid suspicion he had no choice but to try and save her life and hope for a chance later on to take back his power.

Then she woke and she spoke to him, asking excited and perplexing questions about his ears. And suddenly the unfortunate shem had a name.

Evelyn.

When her origins were revealed to him and the mystery of her presence in this world threatened to draw him in he had pushed his thirst for knowledge aside and reminded himself that his people were more important. It would be an unfortunate sacrifice but as soon as an opportunity presented itself Solas would have to take back his power, after all he was the only one capable using the Anchor and closing The Breach.

Then Evelyn surprised him by not only closing rifts but also stopping The Veil from tearing any further without his aid. A feat he believed would have been impossible for even a seasoned Mage of great power and talent let alone this clueless girl from another world.

After that the newly formed Inquisition adopted Evelyn as their saviour and his chances of seizing The Herald of Andraste dwindled and his focus instead changed to developing ways in which to groom Evelyn for his own purposes, keeping her safe so if the time came she would be of use to him. So that she would trust him.

Yet even when the perfect opportunity to simply just disappear with the naive woman surfaced, to lead her into the woods or a cave then flee with his power back to his sanctuary, Solas found he couldn't do it.

With time the excuses for not killing Evelyn grew from her usefulness and that of the Inquisition and the good work they were doing to other less practical reasons. Such as her endearing company, their long in depth conversations, the shame of slaughtering someone so young and full of wonder. Before long Solas began to dread what his life might be without hearing her laugh or seeing the way she would smiled shyly up at him, biting down on that full bottom lip making his heart clench and centre heat...

Fen'Harel would often remind himself and his followers that the option of removing his Anchor from the Herald was still a viable one. All the while the very notion of her dying by his hand sent waves of sheer panic and revulsion flowing through his being.

No, her death was a last resort. One he was becoming more determined to avoid with each passing day.

"Lethal'len," Solas called up to his agent almost hesitantly as he unconsciously withdrew a small wooden wolf from one of the pouches on his belt. "You did not mention any word of The Heralds journey."

The younger elf grinned knowingly to himself upon his perch.

"No I didn't," he said thoughtfully. "Though by my estamate their party should have reached Therinfal by now. I'd imagine she's currently charming those stiff Chantry loving Tempars right out of their oaths of fealty. Most likely doing so by complete accident."

Solas found himself smiling softly down at the small carving in his hands, running a long finger over the little white ribbon tied around its broken tail.

"Yes," he murmured almost to himself. "That sounds like something she'd do."

Ghil'falon watched the old god from above, taking in the gentle expression on his leaders face and the hint of longing in his smooth words.

"You know you're a lucky man Fen'shan." Ghil said brightly, back to his usual cheerful self.

"And why's that?" Solas asked warily, suspicious of the already teasing tenor of his kins words.

"Your Herald," his agent replied eyes alight with mischief. "She's quiet the clever little thing, coming up with that plan to help the Mages while going after the Templars."

"And how is that my luck?" Solas asked dryly, choosing to ignore the comment about Evelyn being 'his' yet again. Ghil seemed intent on not letting that drop.

The younger elf let out a soft mocking bark of laughter.

"Kind, clever and adorable with those lovely soft curves and pretty eyes.... always so willing to please." He said humming appreciatively. "The girl practically fell out of the sky and into your clutches Fen'shan. If the Dread Wolf himself can't see how that is fortunate then there truly is no hope for any of us."

Solas growled low in his throat, his control finally snapping like a thread pulled too tight. The Dread Wolf snarled furiously, rising to his feet and turning to face his kin with magic already swirling aggressively at hand.

"Ghil'Falon! I do not care if you are of my blood, if you ever speak of her like that again I will-"

The tree was empty.

The other elf was gone, leaving no trace he was even there to begin with. Looking about the completely empty woods and finding not even the outline of a foot step in the snow or a misplaced twig in the surrounding branches Solas gave in with a reluctant curse.Ghil was long gone. He'd fallen victim to the younger elfs antics yet again and had let his emotions get the better of him. Yet even through his annoyance Solas couldn't help being rather impressed at his agents' stealthy skills.

Pinching the bridge of nose Solas leaned his back against the tree again and took a few calming breaths. He shouldn't allow himself to get so wound up by a few words of one of his subordinates. It was a sign of weakness. Yet when it came to matters involving Evelyn Treval reason and control were hard to maintain.

Mind wandering once again to the young woman Solas looked down at wooden wolf still held in his hand, her soft heartfelt words from the night she'd given it to him echoing in his memories.

_"You don't have to be sad.... you don't have to be lonely..."_

"If only that were true Ma da'len." He whispered to the empty woods.

It was not safe to grow attached to her, for both their sakes. Already he felt too strongly for the human, their almost kiss during the festival acting as a cold warning that he needed to keep his distance. When he'd noticed Evelyn practically running away from him every time they'd crossed paths during the following days he'd assumed that she had remembered his behaviour while she had been vulnerable and was not happy with him taking advantage. Part of him had even hoped the incident had driven her away from him, Solas taking the opportunity to distance himself from the Herald in the vain hope he could stop this growing affection for the girl with separation.

However despite his efforts Solas had missed the young girl and found it impossible to stay away entirely. When he'd discovered her avoidance of him had been due to some misplaced jealously the Mage could barely contain himself.

The Dread Wolf was indeed a twisted creature, full of self indulgence and madness.

The carving was carefully returned to its pouch, Solas's fingers brushing against a small round trinket that shared the same space with the wolf. He hesitated a moment then quickly drew the item from the pouch and held it up for inspection.

The stone was no bigger than a coin, polished and smooth with one side covered in small neatly inscribed ruins. An exact copy in both size and shape of its counterpart that currently resided in a silver locket being worn by a young women leagues away. Its colour a deep sapphire that swirled with lighter shades of blue and small barely visible flecks of green, moving about like a shifting cloud. The very same shades he saw when staring into Evelyns captivating eyes.

Athem'ternas. Or in the common tongue a Divided Soul Stone.

Not that the item would be known by most who used the common languages. Even back in the time or Arlathan the knowledge of such a treasure let along its possession was extremely rare.

They were once used as gifts between great loves, usually as wedding rings or other such jewellery to those who could afford such extravagancies. One stone, carefully split into two using long lost spells and enchantments, forever connected with its other half no matter the distance. The symbolism itself was what drew most hopeless romantics to idea of the Soul Stones but there was more to the beautiful baubles than that.

Ghil'falon was right in his assumption that there was more to Evelyns gift than a pretty trinket for a loved one. It was far more useful and dangerous than that.

The Stones themselves held their own strange magic that would never fade or be undone. They had the ability to take on characteristics and properties of those who possessed them, usually in the form of adopting a unique colour or aura to match the one who held it. When the stones were split and enchanted they became a connection between two people, a way for one to know the other was alive and well no matter how far away they were. Much like a modern Tevinter sending crystal but not so crass and simplistic as speaking through a brittle piece of overcharged crystal.

The main reason Solas had given Evelyn the other half of his stone was it was a discrete way of keeping track of her well being when he couldn't be there himself. Simply concentrating on his Stone and using the smallest trace of magic would immediately give him the sense of where she was and how she was fairing. In the event she was to go missing or get taken by the enemy (again) he would have a means to track her down without having to resort to blood magic.

However there was another more intimate ability the Stone gifted him, one which could be seen as quite the breach of privacy and trust if it were to be misused.

Having possession of one half of a Divided Soul Stone would automatically link its owner to the one who held its other half and vice-versa. Allowing one to experience what the other was feeling. If the holder was powerful enough it could even allow insight into the others mind and thoughts.

This was what made the Stones dangerous. He'd heard many a tale of this ability being abused, used to spy on and manipulate or trick unknowing holders of a Divided Soul Stone. There had even been rumours of Evanuris who had found ways to corrupt the Stones and use them to control other holders, to plant thoughts or emotions in the minds of others.

Needless to say Solas had no intention of using his for such dark purposes, even if he did have that kind of power available to him or indeed knew how to do it. And Evelyn had no idea of her new pendants secret so she wasn't likely to use hers against him. But he had found himself falling victim to the small trinkets vices none the less.

Solas was loathe to admit it but it was becoming somewhat of a guilty pleasure of his to find a quiet corner away from prying eyes and take hold of the Stone. Telling himself it was for the sake of his Anchor he would close his eyes and concentrate on Evelyn.

Most of the time when he checked in with her it was to experience a mix of weariness, curiosity and mild awe. He had deduced that this was Evelyn while travelling on the road, watching her surroundings while astride her absurdly named horse with the all the wonder of someone who'd never seen the world before. Which in a strange way she was. Even after all this time in Thedas Evelyn still saw this world as something new and exciting, so different from the place she came from.

Other times he would reach out through the Stones to experience bursts of bright infectious amusement or joy as she likely joked with Sera or Bull. These stolen feeling gave the ancient elvhen some small reassurance that The Herald was doing fine without him by her side.

Solas had learnt not to check in on her early in the mornings or else feel the full brunt of moody irritation that was The Herald being woken too soon. His favourite time to slip into her emotions was early in the evening when he knew the party would be settling into camp for the night, sharing a meal and winding down from a hard days travel. Then he would find Evelyn content and calmly happy. He would picture the young woman as he so often saw her when they travelled, face bathed in the flickering light of the camp fire turning her hair to shining gold as she smiled softly at her companions, quietly taking in the scene around her as exhaustion gradually took hold and her eyes began to close against her will.

It was a perverse invasion of Evelyn's inner most feelings and privacy, yet even so Solas found himself unable to resist as he so often did when it came to the other worlder. To be able to borrow even a fraction of her warmth for even a moment was becoming an addiction for the ancient elvhen.

Even as he watched the ever changing swirls of the blue stone, somehow paler than normal and lacking its usual bright shine, Solas found himself unconsciously reaching out to Evelyn. Wanting the closeness to the girl only the Soul Stone could provide while she was so far away...

Fear, bitter, consuming and suffocating reached out and wrapped its constricting claws around Solas throat. Her fear, he quickly realised, mixed with confusion, uncertainty and horror danced around his mind. Solas could practically feel the rapid beat of her terrified heart against the inside of his own ribs, could hear her panicked breaths ringing in his pointed ears as she prayed for whatever it was that was causing her such distress to end.

Pulling himself back from the link with a pained cry of his own Solas stared at his Stone in terror, blood running cold with dread and sweat beading on his forehead.

"Evelyn?!" He gasped in alarm as if expecting the girl to answer him.

There was nothing. Only the polished stone in his hand, silently challenging him.

Tentatively focusing back on the Stone in his hand Solas again reached out with his magic, this time prepared for whatever it was the Herald may be experiencing.

She was scared, frightened and overwhelmed by the chaos that surrounded her. Her mind was churning with doubt and pain, a hectic tangle of wordless thoughts and panic. Whatever was happening to her it was not the one of the regular skirmishes Evelyn and her companions found themselves in.

Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong!

Solas gritted his teeth and began to rush back towards the small village only stop after a few steps.

Evelyn was a three day journey away by horse. There was no way of reaching the Herald in time to protect her from whatever it was that was happening in Therinfal at this very moment. Even Lelianas fastest birds would not be swift enough to send requests of aid from nearby allies in time.

Swearing viciously under his breath and clenching his fist in annoyance he turned back around stormed back over to the tree. Pacing back and forth in quick agitated steps Solas began to wrack his mind for a solution.

He was Fen'harel, ancient elvhen god and pantheon. He knew more about magic and the history of this world than all the Mages in Thedas combined! And yet it did him no good when the person he was trying to save was completely out of his reach. No spell he could cast was powerful enough to span that distance, maybe if he was at his full strength but certainly not as he was now.

He was powerless to help her.

The realisation hit the Mage like a physical blow, knocking the breath from his lungs and making his stomach churn violently.

For the first time since Mythals death he was helpless to do anything.

The feeling was not a pleasant one, bringing back dark memories best left suppressed in the farthest depths of his ancient mind.

This was something he hadn't prepared for, a previously unknown curse of the Athem'ternas that he had not expected. To experience the emotions of the woman he cared for, afraid and in imminent danger... and to be too far away to help her.

It was sheer torture.

A raw harsh yell ripped its way through Fen'Harals gritted teeth as dread and frustration turned to anger. He lashed out at the tree with his fist, a surge of heated force magic bursting forth and tearing its way through the thick sturdy trunk sending splinters of bark and wood flying in all directions. The tree creaked and swayed then groaned as it toppled to the ground with a crash, smoke raising in small plumes from the remaining charred and jagged stump.

_Where were Cassandra and the others? They were supposed to be keeping her safe! And Evelyn! What had the foolish girl gotten herself into this time?!_

This whole thing could have been avoided if she hadn't been so stubborn about keeping him safe from Templars. He could have been by her side at this very moment if she hadn't been so insufferably protective.

Why hadn't he just followed her instead of staying behind like some loyal hound? He should never have trusted her safety to others! Foolish old wolf that he was, he'd grown complacent and was now paying the price. Forced to experience her fear and pain from afar and be powerless to aid her.

All he could do now was watch and wait and pray to the Creators that Evelyn was strong enough to get out of this by herself.

With a feeble groan of distress the Dread Wolf sunk to the ground, cradling the polished blue Stone in both hands and watching the colour shift and quiver restlessly, mimicking the inner turmoil of the other halves owner.

 _Be strong Da'len,_ he willed. _Do whatever it takes, just come back to me!_

Solas felt her fear turn to softly simmering fury and fierce determination. His own anxiety mounted as her mind reached some unreadable resolution. Then out of nowhere his senses picked up on something foreign and abnormal nestled in the Heralds mind, twisting its way through her very being like poisonous roots.

He frowned in puzzlement at the strange and oddly familiar presence within Evelyns mind.

_What in the Void was-?_

The elf felt his eyes go wide with understanding and alarm just as the Stone in his hand pulsed with cold dark energy.

"NO!" he cried out loud, pushing his own magic through the connecting Stones in a desperate bid to shield Evelyn from the invading demons power.

The polished blue Stone darkened to black, flickers of electric emerald green light dancing across its surface like lightning.

The fear melted away... turning into a chilling sense of triumph that did not belong to the Herald of Andraste and a rasping voice echoed in Fen'Harels mind.

_AT LAST..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few thing about this chapter.  
> Firstly lets just assume all the dialog in this chapter was actually spoken in old elvish. The author is just to lazy to try and translate all of it :)  
> Secondly, Ghil calls Solas Fen'shan which basically means 'Old Wolf'.... the cheeky scoundrel.  
> He and Ashara are characters I was working on for a another side story in the More than a Dream universe that may never see the light of day but ties into this story. Its more focused on one of Fen'Harels followers and his wakening from uthenera before he came to the Inquisition.  
> The Divided Soul Stones are not originally in the Dragon Age universe and is something I've taken some creative licence on, by which I mean 'just made up to make things more interesting.'
> 
> So let me know what you think. Enjoying seeing bits of Solas's inner turmoil? Do people like Ghil? Would you be interesting in seeing more of him?
> 
> Also big thank you to all reading and all those who leave me comments and kudos. You guys let me know if I'm on the right track for making this story as entertaining as possible.


	44. Mind Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "LUCIUS! You greasy haired, butt munching, murdering asshole! I know you bought me here! Stop being a coward and show me your ugly face so I can break it!"
> 
>  
> 
> Evie finds herself alone, lost, confused and face to face with the demon that has been stalking her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all.  
> Sorry again for the delay, this chapter was supposed to be much longer but again its been taking too long to complete. I've rewritten it like five times.  
> Big thank you to all those still following the story and all the new readers as well.   
> I hope you enjoy

## Mind Games ## 

_"NO!"_

The voice was so faint, resonating dimly in the very depths of my head. Unlike the distorted accent of my demon menace this one had my heart fluttering with something other than dread. Only the fearful and panicked tone of his otherwise smooth and blissful voice gave me pause.

_"EVELYN!!!"_

My eyes snapped open as I come to with a startling jolt. Breathing in harsh gasps of bitter chilled air, my check pressed into stone and soil and hands gripping tight to dirt and grass.

"Wha- ?!... Solas?"

The terrible events of the afternoon came back to me in a rush, making my blood run cold and my skin crawl. Therinfal. The Red Templars. The Demon.... Lucius.

_Shit!_

Scrambling ungracefully into a crouching position I looked about in a mix of wary readiness and sheer unbridled panic, eyes scanning about desperately to find some clue as to where I was and what was going on. It felt as if I'd only just closed my eyes to blink but within that fraction of a second everything had changed.

_Shit, shit, double shit! Crap!_

My heart beat was racing in my ears and my hands were shaking.

_What happened?! Where the hell was I?_

It was clear I was no longer in Therinfal Redoubt, the stone walls and high towers of the crumbling old fort were gone. In fact everything seemed to be gone. Everything around me was dark and silent. There was _nothing_ here, just a feeling of unlimited emptiness that went on forever in all directions and hidden by a thick suffocating fog so dense I could barely see the ground I was crouched upon.

And I was alone. Not a soul in or out of sight, this place felt dead. Empty.

Alone...

Swallowing down a sudden tightness in my throat I stood up hesitantly.

_Where were the others? What had happened to them?_

The last thing I recalled was Lucius dragging me back into some strange green light while his eyes went all demony. Had the green light been some kind of portal? If so where had he bought me? What of the others? Did they come through too? And where was The Lord Seeker? He'd been right in front of me mere second ago yet was nowhere in sight now.

_What was going on?!_

My head felt as if it was spinning from the all the unanswered questions swirling about it. The sudden change from being in the centre of a heated and bloody battle, full of noise and movement to complete nothingness was unnerving. My pulse was still racing with adrenalin and my body still primed and ready for combat, even as my legs and arms trembled with fear. Yet there was nothing here to fight. There was nothing here at all.

I didn't know what was worse.

"H-hello?" I called out uncertainly. The way my voice bounced off walls I couldn't even see somehow made me feel chilled to the bone and hollow inside.

There was no answer.

"Anybody around?!" I called out hoping maybe I just hadn't been heard the first time. "Cassandra? Bull? Sera?.... Lucius?"

Silence.

I gritted my teeth in frustration and cursed under my breath.

"LUCIUS!" I screamed. My attempt to sound angry and fierce ruined by the shaking tremor in my voice. "You greasy haired, butt munching, murdering asshole! I know you bought me here! Stop being a coward and show me your ugly face so I can break it!"

....

More silence.

_Damn it._

I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. On one hand it meant no enemies, or at least none who wanted to talk. However it also meant no allies.

My breaths began to quicken as my panic rouse. With my friends and protectors missing in action I had only myself to rely on.

_Fuck._

It was the Blades of Hessarian all over again.

_Stay calm Evie_ , I internally ordered myself. _Getting yourself into a panic won't help. That was kind of what got you into this mess in the first place actually. You freaked out and instead of waiting for your friends like a normal sane person would you decided to go after a demon man by yourself. Genius!_

I scowled out at the fog.

This was my own fault, I'd acted rashly and somehow wound up here. Alone, confused and beyond disorientated. But if I got myself into this mess then there had to be a way to get myself out as well. Stewing over the mystery of what had happened and letting it overwhelm me was not going to help. I'd survived the Blades, I could get through this too.

I breathed in slowly, taking in the cold emptiness of this place and allowing it to clear my cluttered mind.

_Alright then, you can do this Evie. Just think your way through it._

Bull had told me once that the first step to survival was to learn your environment and use it to your advantage, whether that meant finding food or shelter or just being aware of nearby cover to hide behind. He had then gone on to speak about _'getting your hands on the biggest, hardest and prettiest stick you can find.'_ Given the suggestive waggle of his mangled brow I was pretty sure he wasn't talking about my staff when he'd said that but acquiring something to defend myself with seemed like a good idea.

Problem was I could barely see anything through this fog, though the more I looked the more I began to notice that it wasn't as silent and dead as I'd first though. In the distance I could hear odd sounds of distant rumbling and crackling, almost as if I was sitting under a busy bridge with traffic driving overhead. And the thick fog was moving, shifting and swirling about slowly in a way no natural mist would. To make matters worse every now and then I caught sight of flickers of familiar emerald light shinning in the dull rolling smog.

_Fade green... Never a good sign._

Something metallic caught my attention a few metres away, the emerald light bouncing off the shinny surface of a polished orb the size of a childs ball like a beacon. My heart stuttered with relief as I recognized the top of my staff, rushing forward without any hesitation to retrieve it from where it lay.

As soon as my fingers wrapped around the familiar worn grip I felt my whole body relax. Clutching the weapon like it was a security blanket I sighed in relief. I knew it wasn't much but this staff was proof I could protect myself, that I wasn't completely helpless. Having it here gave me that nudge of confidence I needed to move forward and get myself out of here. If I could get away and get word to the Inquisition then maybe I they could send aid or information as to where the others were.

Question was where did I even start to search for an exit? I was surrounded by nothing but fog with no indication if this place even had a roof or walls let alone rooms to investigate. I could easily walk myself right off a cliff or into something sharp and pointy in this lack of visibility. What I needed was some light...

There was a whoosh of cold air and suddenly flames flickered to life in the distance. Torches burning in brackets shed light on a dozen brick columns holding up what appeared to be a very high arched ceiling though the actual roof was obscured in darkness interrupted with cracks of green light. The Fog seemed to thin just enough to make out shapes crouched low in the fog, human and still like statues.

I blinked stupidly.

_Well that was convenient. And creepy._

"I guess I'll go this way then," I murmured aloud.

Squaring my shoulders and holding my staff cautiously at the ready I crept forward. Reaching the first shape it suddenly burst into flame of its own causing me to jump back with an embarrassingly pitched shriek.

The burning flames revealed a familiar sight that I'd wished to never see again; a burning corpse, forever frozen in its last moments of terror and pain. A perfect copy of the ones we'd found at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

_What the...?_

Even as I began backing away the rest of the shapes in the fog began to ignite, one by one illuminating the way forward in a grotesque nightmare inducing imitation of an honour guard made up of the Conclaves victims. And at the very end of the dead lined path two figures stood calmly in wait before a stone wall that seemed to coil and bubble as if molten.

A man with broad shoulders, golden hair and eyes and a pretty woman in shining ruffled outfit.

"Cullen! Josie?!" I breathed in disbelief, feet already carrying me forward passed the dead.

Then reason overcame joy and halted my steps.

It couldn't be them. Josephine and Cullen were both safely back in Haven running the Inquisition. There was no possible way they could be here, where ever it was that here actually was.

_So who or what were they?_

The closer I got the more obvious it was that these were not my favourite Ambassador and Commander. Oh they looked identical to the originals, right down to the scar through Cullens lip and Josie's beauty spot. But those perfectly imitated faces were blank and lifeless. They looked empty, like dolls _._

"What are you?" I demanded of the lifeless copies, keeping a safe distance and my staff pointed threateningly. "What's going on here?"

A sharp echoing gasp sounded out to my left and I turned just as another figure stumbled forth seemingly out of nowhere. Another stolen form, this one a familiar slight women shrouded in a lavender hood.

Leliana straightened and turned my way, her face twisting into an eager smirk as she walked forward pushing her way between the motionless Cullen and Josephine. While more alive than the other copies there was still something wrong about her, something that made may skin crawl and stomach twist. I stepped back holding my keeping my staff up and poised to strike as I tried my best to stare it down.

"Is this shape useful? Will it let me know you?" Leliana spoke tilting her head curiously. Her voice was distorted in the same way that the one inside my head had been when it mimicked Lucius.

_Same thing_ , I realised with dread. _It's the same thing._

This was the demon that had been tormenting me.

I narrowed my eyes and held myself at the ready.

"I thought I told you already," I answered quietly. "I'm not interested. Go find someone else to bother because I'm not up for a chat right now."

She smiled, unperturbed and walked leisurely to stand behind Cullens lifeless image.

"Everything tells me about you." She purred in my friends lilting Orlessian trill, draping her arms lazily over the Commanders broad shoulders. "So will this... Watch."

A dagger appeared in her hand, a plain simple blade with a red leather hilt that could have been found in any soldiers' possession. Before I could even puzzle where it had appeared from she was holding it to Cullens throat.

He didn't even move.

I fought down a gasp and willed myself to stay still even as my entire being screamed at me to do something, anything to stop what I knew to be coming next.

_That's not really Cullen_ , I told myself firmly my breath quickening. _He's back at Haven, safe and probably tormenting poor Jim._

"Why are you doing this? What's the bloody point?!" I gritted out through a tightly clenched jaw.

She stared at me a moment then slowly ran the blade under his jaw.

A pained noise of distress escaped my throat like a whimper as I watched on helplessly. Cullens head lolled, dead eyes staring blankly ahead and neck gaping wide as a sheet of blood ran down the front of his armour. Leliana stepped back and he fell heavily to a heap on the floor.

_Oh God...._

I stared and the crumpled body of one of the strongest people I knew as it bleed out on the soil. It felt like someone had taken hold of my heart and twisted it.

"That's not Cullen. It's a fake, he's not really dead." I declared weakly, still staring at the body and struggling to convince myself as doubt began to creep into my head. "You're just trying to screw with me again."

"Cullen's not dead, that's a fake." The demon mimicked, her voice changing to an eerie distorted copy of my own.

My eyes snapped up to glare at the Spy Master finding her grinning widely right back, her eyes having turned black as pitch and flickering with green. She began to laugh a horrid guttural sound and retreated into the wall, melted back into the bubbling stone and disappearing from sight. Yet the laughter remained, now being projected from the copy of the Inquisitions Ambassador.

_Ok, this was strange even by Thedas standards._

_And disturbing. Really disturbing._

"Being you will be so much more interesting than being the Lord Seeker." It continued in Josephine's Antivan purr. The pretty women began to walk towards me, legs crossing as she walked with Josie's refined elegant gait. Her fingers were running along the edge of the same dagger that had just slit the throat of her co-worker as she approached.

I stood stubbornly still, eyeing the creature and the weapon guardedly as she began to circle but as I turned to keep her in sight she vanished! Just disappeared, no puff of smoke of rustle of clothes she was simply gone. Only the smouldering temple corpses remained before me. Frowning in confusion I swore under my breath and quickly scanned the area for the demon, feeling as if my heart was lodged in my throat.

_Where the hell did it go?_

"Do you know what the Inquisition could become?"

I jumped with a shrill scream as it spoke from behind my shoulder blades, suddenly very much aware that there was something breathing against the base of my neck. I whirled around in panic, swinging my staff in an attack that would have taken off the demons head if it hadn't passed through empty air.

It was gone again. There was nothing there, yet Josephine's cruelly distorted voice continued to resonate mockingly.

"You'll see. When I'm done the Elder One will kill you and ascend. Then I will be you." It said, the words coming from all around.

I found myself frowning in thought.

_There was that name again; The Elder One. The one the Knight Captain had raved about. The one behind all this..._

"So you work for this Elder One too," I reasoned slowly. "Must be quite the man to trick both Templars and demons into working for him. Who is this jerk and why is he doing this?"

It laughed.

"He is between things, mortal once but no longer."

I raised a sceptical brow.

_Yeah right immortal my ass!_

This Elder One was either delusional or putting on an act to gain followers. Even here in Thedas where magic and elves existed immortality was just a dream, a gift only befitting the Gods and I was still not convinced or their existence either.

The Josephine copy stepped back into view as if she'd never disappeared in the first place. I kept my staff raised defensively but decided against attacking; it would probably just disappear again if I did. Best to listen and find out what I could then run for it.

"Glory is coming and the Elder One wants you to serve him like everyone else." She continued eyes turning black and mouth twisting into an unnaturally wide grin. "By dying in the right way."

Cold shivers raced up my spine making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

_Flipping creepy._

"What about you?" I asked the demon. "In what way does the Elder One plan for you to die in his service?"

Her face turned dark and Josephine's full lips drew tight with distaste.

"Well you did say 'like everyone else'. That includes you too right?" I pressed quickly. "What do you think he's going to do to you when you're through doing his dirty work?"

It probably wasn't wise to antagonise a demon that seemed to have kidnapped me and whisked me away to Maker only knew where. Hell I wasn't even sure if demons were as afraid of death as the rest of us were. However if I could plant the seed of doubt into its mind then maybe I could convince it to turn against this Elder Asshole.

Right now anything was worth a shot.

The demon just stared then casually backed away. With one last glare it turned and stalked off, getting swallowed up by the fog and disappearing.

I felt my brows escape into my hairline.

_Holy shit, had that actually worked?_

"I am not your toy!" The demon growled in a deeper distorted male voice. I spun about to find the Inquisitions Commander standing a few feet behind me, expression as dark as a thundercloud.

_Damn, apparently not._

"I am Envy and I will know you!" It continued threateningly.

_Envy?_

It wasn't the name of any demon I could recall having heard of during my lessons which meant it wasn't the type of demon Cassandra and the others had expected me to encounter. Likely it wasn't a very common kind or maybe that it wasn't easily found. From what could piece together from everything Envy had said it seemed to be a shape shifter that had taken on the image of Lucius. It had been doing a pretty good job of imitating the man as well, seeing as it managed to trick the entire Templar order into thinking it was The Lord Seeker.

For a moment I wondered how long this creature had been pretending to be The Lord Seeker and what had happened to the original. Then a flicker of light reflecting off a blade drew my attention to Cullens left hand where he held a familiar dagger in a confident grip.

I took a step back, waiting for the attack to come.

"Tell me 'Herald' in your mind..." The demon seethed as he began to walk over to another figure standing in the far left of my field of vision that hadn't been there a moment ago.

_Jesus, where did these things keep popping up from?_

I quickly spared a glance away from the armed and intimidating demon Cullen to check out the new opponent. Then I froze, jaw dropping with shock. Unable to tear my gaze away I barely even noticed the demon walking up to stand behind the new copy.

It was smaller than Cullen, his tall and broad build almost dwarfing the person he stood behind making it seem childlike and frail. But she wasn't a child she was a woman, wearing a long leather coat over soft simple armour and tight pants that clung to curves I know she'd rather hide. Her hair was long but tied back into a messy gold braid that was coming lose, a too long fringe swept across to the side fell across her face partially hiding her features. Yet even so I could make out the smattering of freckles littered across cheeks and a nose that was a little too long and a large pair of eyes that stared back at me, empty and blank.

I stared, mouth agape and blinking stupidly.

It was me.

I raised a hand to unconsciously tuck some stray strands of hair back behind my ear, half expecting her to mimic my movements like a mirror.

_Did I always look so dishevelled?_

My attention returned to Envy as he began to speak again through Cullens voice.

"Tell me what you think?" He demanded.

My copy suddenly arched forward with a surprised gasp of pain, falling forward onto her knees before collapsing weakly onto her front revealing the red hilted dagger protruding from her back. I gasped in horror, fighting down the urge to run to her aid.

_This wasn't real. She's not real!_

I tore my gaze away from the terrifying vision before me to find the demon had vanished again. Turning about quickly in search of my captor I almost walked into a very large and familiar table that had made a sudden appearance at my back.

_The War Table? What the heck?_

Cullen was leaning over it, black demon eyes fixed on me as he pushed one of his markers across the large map, setting it alight at his touch.

"Tell me what you feel?" he seethed.

A breath against my neck had me turning around in alarm yet again only to came face to face with myself. My copies skin had turned gray, the eyes glowing green. It staggered forward and I could feel it clutching at my coat while I stood unmoving and stunned. She groaned in pain and convulsed, hands going to her stomach as blood began to seep through her fingers and trickle out the corner of her mouth. I stepped back horrified only to find that the dagger was now in my own hand, dripping in red.

I cried out voicelessly and threw the weapon to the side in revulsion.

_N-no! I didn't do that. I wouldn't! It's not real!_

"Tell me what you see?" The voice hissed into my ear. It had changed again, sounding less like Cullen and more like something else.

Looking up slowly I was dreading to see what Envy had in store for me next only to find myself alone. The place was empty, just myself the fog and the burning corpses together in the barrenness.

However now there was a single arched doorway where the bubbling stone wall had once been, open and ominous.

I glared at it warily.

This place was like a nightmare with Envy twisting and bending reality around us to torment me. That lone door was the only way forward because the demon made it so. It wanted me to go forth so it could study my reactions. So it could _'know me'_. I realised with a start that this had been the reason behind The Lord Seekers sudden change of heart. Lucius hadn't allowed us into Therinfal to barter aid. But Envy had, he'd tricked us in order to get me here. Even the bloody flags had been a way for it to learn.

_"I will be you."_

And the more it learnt of me the more accurate its imitation of me would be.

_Shit!_

Hiding my emotions had never really been a strong point of mine; most people could read me like a children's picture book. And while the notion of anyone wanting to be me was almost hilariously unimaginable I could see the interest in wanting to be Andrastes Herald. It was as Vivienne had said that night in Val Royeaux, I was an unknown power, a holy icon and whether I wanted it or not that was an influential thing to be. So far I personally hadn't done much with that status but if Envy could successfully steal my identity there was no telling what it could do in the name of this Elder One, all while wearing my face.

_This wasn't good._

I had to get out of here and away from Envy and it seemed the only exit from this hall of burning death was through that archway, left temptingly open and unguarded.

_Did Envy seriously think I was going to fall for that?_

The manipulative demon wanted me to go through that arch otherwise it wouldn't have created or shown me the exit. And if that was what Envy wanted then it was safe to assume whatever was waiting for me beyond that arch would not be good.

I turned to walk away from the door then stopped, the empty nothingness of the place seeming to swell up dauntingly suffocating and overwhelming. Swallowing dryly I found myself torn between stubbornly staying put and slowly going mad in this haunting room of death and fog or the potential escape or torture the open door offered. I dreaded going forward, but the idea of staying put was just as horrifying.

I didn't know what to do. I needed advice, a sign on which path to take. I needed help.

Something moved in the fog, a dark shape growing larger as it approached. The sound of claws clicking against stone reached my ears just as a pair of burning red eyes began to shine through the mist. I began to back away only to freeze when the creature let out a low menacing growl of warning. The sound seemed to echo in my very soul speaking of fury, hate and the promise of pain.

_Oh God what now?_

Was this another of Envys tricks? Had the demon sent some ferocious beast here to test my abilities or reactions while it watched on from the shadows?

The creature snarled viciously and I dropped into a fighting stance with a fearful gasp.

_What in the Makers name was coming for me? Monster? Giant? Dragon?!_

It stepped into the light of the first burning corpse. First one massive black furred paw than another as it stalked forward, body bowed low as it hunted its prey. Then came a black wet nose and long muzzle, lips pulled back to show off the sharpest most deadly looking fangs I'd seen on any creature. Its shaggy lupine head followed, ears laying flat to its head and ruby red eyes fixed on where I stood.

A wolf with fur as so dark that it stood out against the already pitch dark emptiness of the room prowled into the light. It was bigger than any wolf I'd ever seen, big enough it could probably be mistaken for small bear at a distance.

My stomach dropped as I wondered if this was some kind of karmic punishment for killing the wolves that had attacked us by Dennets Farm.

The great beast seemed to study me with suspicion, the same way I was looking at it. It was a wild predator, a fierce killer and yet...

My eyes fell to its tail swishing back in forth slowly, silky furred and adorably fluffy and I found myself biting down on my bottom lip in restraint.

I wanted to pet it!

It was a stupid and childish impulse. This was not a pet to be cuddled and I knew that yet I still couldn't shake the ridiculous urge to scrub the very large canines ears and rub its belly.

_Pull yourself together woman and show some restraint!_

I slowly held up one hand in a gesture of calming caution.

"Nice doggy..." I shakily soothed. "Just stay back there please. I don't want to have to hurt you-"

With an earth trembling growl the wolf leapt and bore down on where I stood.

I screamed.

"No wait! BAD DOG!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look who showed up in Evies head.... hehehe
> 
> Thank you guys for reading


	45. Creature of Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stay back fluff ball. I mean it! I have I very big stick here and it's not for playing fetch with." 
> 
> Facing down a giant monster wolf while held captive by a demon intent on stealing her identity... all in a days work for Evie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all.  
> Another short one just to get something out there and keep you readers interested :)  
> As all ways I hope you enjoy.

 

## Creature of Shadow ##

 

 

The wolf barrelled towards me like a fluffy snarling freight train, covering the distance between us within seconds.

_Move,_ my mind was screaming at me _. God damn it move girl!_

But I couldn't, something about the beast of a creature had me frozen in place. It moved with such power, I could almost make out the muscles shifting beneath its thick silken black pelt. The shadows of the surrounding room seemed to cling to it, dancing along its body like flames as the wolf thundered forward with an intensity no normal animal could muster. Its blood red gaze held my own stunned stare and I found I couldn't tear my eyes away.

It was both magnificent and horrifying.

At the last moment the wolf broke eye contact, its gaze shifting just over my shoulder and suddenly I was free of the strange mesmerizing spell I was under. My heart seemed to stop as imminent death rushed towards me.

"Oh shit!"

I threw myself to the side, hitting the ground with a grunt.

The wolf leapt-

-and sailed right over where I had just stood, passing over me and continuing on towards the archway.

I twisted myself up into a crouch and blinked after it stupidly.

_Huh?_

The creature came to a skidding halt at the open archway and growled threateningly out into the darkness beyond. The thick black fur of its neck was bristling on end as it seemed to search for something I couldn't see. With one final warning rumble the wolf shook its head, the motion following through to its massive shoulders and body to the very tip of its tail. It gave a dismissing sounding 'wuff' before turning back my way, all traces of aggression gone from its posture. It stared at me with those big red eyes suddenly thoughtful and intelligent instead of fierce and intimidating.

_Huh?!_

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously and slowly stood, raising my staff across my body in a defensive position.

The wolf tilted its head curiously and made a sad sounding whine from its chest. It almost looked sympathetic. As it began to step my way I raised my staff threateningly.

"Stay back fluff ball. I mean it! I have I very big stick here and it's not for playing fetch with." I warned knowing the beast wasn't going to understand or obey. It was a wild animal not a domestic pet. Even so it felt like I should give it some kind of forewarning. Despite my reluctance to hurt something so magnificent I knew I'd never live down the humiliation if I let myself get eaten by a big dog while captured by a demon. If I lived at all that was.

The wolf whined again but obediently sat and looked expectantly at me.

I stared back utterly taken aback and baffled.

_It actually listened to me!_

This was beyond confusing. A few seconds ago I was sure I was going to end up like little Red Ridding Hoods Grandma. But miraculously the wolf wasn't attacking and didn't appear to be making any move to do so in the near future. It was just sitting there, waiting patiently.

_What the actual hell was going on?!_

"What is this?" I asked, voicing my confusion out loud like I was trying to think my way through a math puzzle. "Is this another of Envys tricks?"

It made a soft growl of disgust and narrowed its eyes at me, shaking its head sharply in a display of dignified affront.

"And I'm supposed to just believe you?" I scoffed in disbelief."If you're not another of Envy's copies then what are you? And what are you doing here? How did you-"

I stopped midsentence and threw my arms up in frustration.

"Why am I even asking you?" I raved glaring angrily at the wolf. "You can't talk!"

The wolf just stared at me, one of its doggy eyebrows rising into I look of condescension.

"Or can you?" I murmured thoughtfully.

This was Thedas after all, there were dragons and Mages here why not sentient woodland critters? And there was clearly something abnormal about this wolf, it wasn't actually speaking to me but it was reacting in an oddly human way.

"Alright, let's start with some simple questions then." I began cautiously, feeling more than a little silly talking to the animal. "Are you Envy?"

The wolf growled low in its chest and shook its head negatively.

"And you're not one of his freaky copy things, are you?"

It shook its head again.

"Okay... Are a different Demon?" I asked.

Yet another shake.

I frowned, wondering what else it could possibly be. It couldn't tell me itself and guessing would take a very long time.

"Are you..... a girl wolf?" I asked hesitantly, unsure what to ask next and blurting out the first thing to come to mind.

The wolf narrowed its eyes at me and growled in annoyance.

"Alright, alright! Boy wolf, sorry. I mean you are pretty big but you just looked kind of elegant. I just assumed... never mind."

Shaking my head at my own foolishness I sighed and run a frustrated hand through my hair. I was wasting time. I needed to figure out how to get out of here, talking to a strange big canine was a distraction I didn't need.

_Even so..._

I looked over at the wolf and bit down on my bottom lip.

"Are you going to harm me?"

I hated how much my voice trembled.

The wolf let out a low whine and slowly shook his massive head, eyes meeting mine filled with a deep haunting sadness.

"How do I know you're not lying?" I asked softly, unsure whether this was just another of Envy's tricks.

He stood slowly and inched forward with its great shaggy head bowed low and submissive. He stopped with his black nose just inches from my sternum, red eyes looking meaningfully between my face and the staff still held at the ready. He didn't bite, he didn't make a sound. The wolf just waited.

Swallowing dryly I lowered my weapon.

It could be a massive mistake but for some reason I believed him. I wanted to believe him.

_Because maybe then I wouldn't be alone in this nightmare._

The wolf remained placidly still, tail wagging just slightly as I warily lowered myself to kneel in front of him. We sat almost eye to eye and with a deep breath I reached out to stroke him.

My fingers went straight through the side of his fluffy head, disappearing into him like my wolf was made of the shadows that clung to him. All I could feel was a warm tingling sensation where my fingers should have been touching something solid.

I felt my stomach dropped in disappointment and tears burned in the corner of my eyes.

_I couldn't touch him._

He whined again, shuffling forward and tilting his head pityingly.

"Are you a ghost?" I rasped, pulling my hand back. "Did you die here or something?"

_God please don't let this beautiful creature have died in this horrible place._

To my relief he shook his head.

"But I can't touch you. Are you even real?"

This time the wolf nodded eagerly, pressing his phantom head into my palm causing it to sink back into the inky fur. I pulled it back with a shaky laugh. The sensation and sight of my hand disappearing inside its spectral skull was unsettling. But this also confirmed he wasn't one of Envy's copies, given the way one of them had taken hold of my coat earlier I knew them to be physically solid unlike my new friend.

"Well it's good to know your real, but not being able to touch you is a little strange."

Not to mention really disappointing.

_He looked so damn fluffy!_

Out in the darkness beyond the arch a sudden wind seemed to pick up, howling mournfully and drawing my attention back to my predicament. The wolf stiffened and turned around to growl through the arch.

I felt cold.

"It's out there isn't it? Envy." I murmured quietly.

My new companion gave a soft affirmative 'wuff'.

"I don't know what to do," I admitted out loud. "I don't know how to fight something like that and I don't know how to keep it from learning about me. I need to escape but I don't know how. Normally my friends would be here to help but I have no idea where I am let alone where they are. This time it's just me. Where do I even start?"

The wolf stood, shook itself off and with a slight incline of its head trotted off through the arch. His shadowy form quickly swallowed up by the darkness beyond.

"Wha- hey wait a minute!" I scrambled quickly to my feet and gave chase stopping in the archway and calling out after the wolf. "Where are you going?"

A deep bark echoed out through the chamber beyond, a clear invitation for me to join him.

"Are you insane?!" I yelled incredulously into the darkness. "There is a bloody shape shifting demon out there! Get back here!"

He barked again but didn't return.

_Damn it._

What was I supposed to do now? I couldn't very well leave him out there by himself. The wolf may be ghostly in body but Maker only knew what Envy, a freaking demon, was capable of doing to him.

I didn't really have a choice, honestly even before the wolf appeared I knew I really had only one option. I'd just been too scared to do it alone.

And now my new friend was forcing my hand.

_Stupid meddling fluff ball._

I muttered a few choice curses under my breath and rolled my shoulders to loosen them up. With one last heavy sigh I gripped my staff tightly in hand and strode through the archway with purposeful confident strides.

"All right Envy," I called out into the blackness. "I'll play your games. But you'd better not touch my wolf!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Templar/ Envy stuff is dragging out forever. It's a lot to cover but hang tight, Coles coming up next chapter and he's always worth the wait ;)


	46. A Crowded Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Seriously? What kind of video game bull shittery is this?"
> 
> Evie travels deeper into the demons lair only to find it isn't what she thought and she is far from alone in her own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all.  
> A lot of in game dialog again but as usual I've thrown some other stuff in there to :)  
> Hope you enjoy.

## A Crowded Mind ##

 

The darkness ahead lifted revealing a large courtyard lined with empty fog filled cells and illuminated by a sinister red glow. If the creepy light wasn't bad enough I walked into a yet another scene from my past that still gave me nightmares. While not as horrific as the twisted burning corpses of the conclaves victims, the day I had woken up chained and surrounded by menacing swordsmen had been one of the worst of my life. The feeling of utter confusion and helplessness while being threatened with death by a woman who could have easily passed for an Amazon warrior princess was not one I ever wanted to relive. Yet here it was, being acted out in front of me by a pack of Envy's copies like some sick puppet show.

Envy sure knew how to get under my skin.

_The fucker._

Four intimidating Inquisition soldiers stood with their naked blades pointed inches from the cowering form of a petrified young woman. Me. A me sporting a set of glowing Fade green alien eyes but me all the same. I was shaking, flinching away from the swords like a frightened rabbit which in a way I was, or at least had been at the time. And Cassandra stood over me, an exact copy of my Nevarran friend with the same dark eyes that had been watching my back for months now. I'd almost managed to forget the utter hatred her face had displayed that day. Almost but not quite, it was after all that loathing and fear of it reoccurring that still haunted me.

None of the copies seemed to be taking any notice of the real me at all, even as I walked into the room and into Cassandras line of sight. It was like they couldn't even see me at all as they acted out the events of my first waking moments in Thedas.

"Explain this!" she seethed as my doppelgangers palm radiated out a sickly green light lacking The Marks normal sharpness. "Do you deny it? Do you dare deny your crimes?!"

A thought struck me, making my brow furrow in contemplation.

Envy wasn't there when this little episode had first played out and yet it they clearly knew what had occurred, right down to the infliction of The Seekers angry words. And as far as I knew Envy had never met any of the people he'd been copying, apart from myself of course. Yet the copies were perfect.

_So how did Envy know what they looked and sounded like?_

The answer was chillingly obvious, he'd taken the memories from my head while they'd been traipsing in there and tormenting my sanity. Which begged the question...

What else did Envy know?

For a moment I felt my body seize with dread, I couldn't even breath.

_Did the demon know where I was from? Did it know about Earth?_

I jumped as a sharp bark echoed out around the yard and looked up to see the wolf standing across the way in front of a simple wooden door. He tilted his head towards the door impatiently.

"Y-yeah ok," I stammered giving my own copy one last look of concern as Cassandra continued to interrogate her. "I'm coming."

Edging around the oblivious copies and keeping a wary eye out for any surprises lurking in the misty cells I jogged up to the door and glared down at the wolf.

"I'm not happy with you," I declared. "I don't care how ghostly and fearsome you are you can't just run into a demons lair like that. It's dangerous and you've dragged me in after you."

The wolf heaved a big sigh and stared at me with one doggy eyebrow raised accusingly.

"Ok, you're right. I was already in this mess to begin with." I admitted. "But you still shouldn't have run off."

He turned back to the door, nudging it with his nose.

I let out my own sigh.

"Fine, let's see what Envy has in store for us next."

The door swung open with a small push revealing yet another large space obscured in thick mist but better illuminated by dull natural light. There were more stone pillars decorating this room, either stretching upwards to hold up the blackened ceiling or standing independently. All were adorned with grotesque arching gargoyle heads with gaping mouths. I'd always thought gargoyle statures were kind of cool in a gothic manor kind of way, they weren't scary just interesting. Now I could see why they were used to ward of danger and evil spirits. Perched high in the fog and gazing down at all beneath them with twisted horns and angry snarls, looking like they could very well come to life and snap my head right off my shoulders... _creepy._

And again Envy had arrange a greeting party for my amusement, this time my copy was standing with her hands held behind her back in a almost soldier like stance. She, or possibly I, looked more hardened than before. Her glowing Fade eyes were illuminating a grim set mouth and more lines around my eyes than I usually bore. This Evelyn Treval had seen and experienced a lot, she wasn't just a fighter she was a Commander, and she appeared to be addressing two Inquisition soldiers as such.

"Our enemies have surrendered unconditionally," A woman wearing Inquisition armour was saying.

"The Inquisitions strength rivals any kingdom in Thedas," added a rather heavy set man.

My green eyed copy crossed her arms over her chest and smirked nastily.

"Our reach begins to match my ambition, but we will strive for more." She said, her voice a mocking distorted version of my own.

I choked on a sudden snort of laughter and the green eyed Evies' head turned my way curiously.

"Is that supposed to be me?" I giggled pointing at the copy. "Ambitious? Me? Ha! That's hilarious. Nobody is going to buy that."

Her smirk widened and head tilted.

"Good to know," Envy purred and then laughed that horrible mocking laugh that echoed around my head.

There were three sudden flashes of bright light and puffs of smoke and the copies vanished out of sight like a trio of stage magicians under the cover of ninja smoke bombs, leaving me and the wolf alone among the pillars.

The bottom dropped out of my stomach and I slapped a hand to my forehead in self disgust.

"I shouldn't have said that should I?" I mumbled to the wolf standing at my side.

He heaved a sigh and hung his head, shaking it.

"Yeah... I thought as much. Bugger!"

This was not good, I couldn't be giving away information about myself so carelessly to a monster who wanted to impersonate me and likely take over the world. From now on I was just going to keep my big mouth shut and ignore the stupid demon.

"I'm such an idiot." I muttered, shaking my head and continuing further beneath the looming gargoyles looking for the next door.

There was a strange muffled woosh, like the sound of a large amount of gas being ignited and suddenly waves of liquid green flame were descending upon me from the open maws of the stone atrocities. I stumbled back with a shriek just in time to avoid the worst of it but not all, a splash of flame splattered against my right forearm and hand as I raised it to protect myself.

The long sleeves of my leather coat began to sizzle and hiss, small holes dissolving in the protective material as if I'd been showered with acid. In reactive panic I slapped at my forearm and waved it about trying to put out a fire that was no longer there. On examination the newly exposed skin had turned a bright scolded red and small blisters were beginning to form. And I was heartbroken to discover the ducky hankie that bound my right hand was now blackened, burnt away and ruined beyond use.

_No! Not the Duckies!_

"Spirit fire," I muttered picking off and discarding the hankie with a pout and shaking my arm to ease the numbness that was spreading up to my elbow. I looked up at the fire spewing gargoyles which were effectively blocking my way forward. "Damn it that's going to hurt in a little while. Where's Solas when you need him?"

_Oh yeah, some bright spark thought it would be safer to leave him behind. Moron!_

The wolf whined and nudged at my hand in concern, his nose passing right threw same as before.

"I'm ok." I said with a forced smile and a wince as the burn began to prickle just slightly. "It's just a bit of pain. This display of pyrotechnics however is a problem. How am I supposed to get through all this?"

Even as I spoke the pillars groaned and turned, changing the direction of the flames providing small gaps and openings between the fountains of flame. Then they turned back. And again, the rotations repeating every so often like a piece of mechanical clockwork.

I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Seriously? What kind of video game bull shittery is this?"

The wolf rumbled thoughtfully watching the treacherous puzzle in front of us intently. Then with a dignified snort he trotted forward.

"What are you- hey?!"

He dashed forward through one of the gaps at the far right and into a small alcove beyond. From there the wolf barked out an invitation to join him.

Because of course the mysterious phantom dog had figured out the pattern before I had.

And I was going to have to follow.

_God damn it._

I waited for the pillars to rotate three more times, bouncing on the soles of my feet as I did before plucking up the courage to lunge through the small gap after my furry friend. I could feel the strange cold sensation of the spirit fire passing barely a foot over head and off to my left shoulder, it was odd how it radiated a cold energy but when it reached skin caused a heated burn once the numbness wore off. Odd but I was used to it, all those times fighting Wraiths at Rift sites had left me very much used to Spirit fire and I knew that getting struck by this much all at once would not be pleasant. Best to avoid as much of it as possible.

In my haste I almost barrelled into one of three Inquisition soldiers that were standing in wait in the small alcove, safe from the fiery fountains. The copies stood like mindless dazed zombies in the small space, the area decorated with large spikes of red lyrium protruding from the far wall and what appeared to be a summoning circle drawn on the ground with blood and littered with mutilated skinless corpses.

"Jesus," I breathed out in horror.

"Were you in earnest when you choose the peoples flag for the standards?" Envys menacing voice asked, echoing about as if coming from a distant speaker. "For when I am you the people will never forget what you do to them."

I didn't even bother looking around for the source of the voice, biting down an angry retort and ignoring it completely.

"Who would stand against us when the Inquisition commands nations?" scoffed one of the soldiers.

"No one wise," answered another.

I ignored them too, all the while worrying if this was the nightmare to come if Envy became the Herald of Andraste.

My wolf stood in wait at the entrance of the alcove, watching the torrents of Spirit fire move about trying to find a path. I joined him.

"Down to the right is best right?" I asked after a moment of watching. "It's less ground to cover and there is another sheltered pocket of space to regroup in."

He nodded slowly in approval and promptly ran forward to blaze a path through the green flames; ducking low, under one spurting gargoyle, twisting quickly to change direction and racing around the corner into the next safe zone. All in a few seconds, making it look far easier than it was. He had the advantage of four graceful legs after all, instead of two clumsy ones. And even if he did get struck the flames would probably just pass right through him, he didn't have to worry about ugly and painful burns.

Advantage or none I still had to get through this death trap, I had no choice.

Trying not to hesitate and second guess I dove forward into a roll under one bout of flame and promptly leapt to the side to avoid another as the pillars changed. Twisting about I made a mad dash for the next alcove falling down into rather epic slide to avoid the last obstacle, watching it spray out green shimmering tongues of flame over head as I glided beneath it...

"Argh!"

And right into a tower of barrels and crates stacked in the alcove which of course collapsed, burying me in a shower of dust and broken planks of wood.

"Typical," I gripped lying on my back among the debris as a shaggy lupine face emerged overhead. "But did you see that slide!"

He shook his head in disgust and wandered away.

"Well I thought it was cool, right up until the whole crashy bit that is..." I mumbled and untangled myself from the destruction.

Standing up I found we weren't alone, there were three more copies standing around all wearing Inquisition armour and completely ignoring my spectacular spill.

"When the Chantry fell we despaired. But the Herald of Andraste bought us light!" One gushed even as its faced remained creepily blank.

"The Herald saved all of us," agreed another. "Our army could tear down a kingdom!"

"No force matches ours for strength!" bragged the first speaker.

The problem was that what these copies were suggesting, what Envy was predicting, wasn't far off from the truth already. Ever since I'd join this rag tag organisation we'd been trying to make the Inquisition stronger. Not to tear down kingdoms but so we could find a way to seal the Breach and hunt down the one who caused it. We'd gathered and trained soldiers, bartered alliances and gained influence and all that time I'd been secretly proud I was a part of something that was growing so strong. It was almost like I'd joined a sports team and we'd made it to the finals despite the odds. And as the Chantry began to lose its grip on Thedas the Inquisition boasted about its Herald, Andrastes chosen with the power to heal the sky and save the people, a hero, a saviour... I'd gone along with it. It was a farce, but one that was helping save the world. We were trying to do good.

But it was a very thin line between being strong enough to reach our goals, withstand our enemies and becoming a tyrannical army.

_The road to Hell is paved with good intentions and even the bad guys can believe they are doing the right thing._

And Envy was fully capable of manipulating the Inquisition like it had the Templar Order.

Grimacing I turned my back on them and stared back towards the fires, there were only six more pillars to get around and I could see another door at the end of the hall blocked by two constant torrents of Spirit Fire raining down from either side.

_There's my exit. Or at least my way out of this fire pit._

Running back into the fire storm I was determined to make it to that door, dodging and weaving like a dancer I was actually doing pretty well until I reach the second last line of pillars. I moved too slow, feet skidding on the dusty stone and miscalculated the timing of its rotation. The Spirit fire poured down across the back of my neck and shoulders. I cried out in shock as my entire body went numb from the neck down and I lost all co-ordination in my limbs. Thankfully I stumbled to the ground in a patch of stone outside of the gargoyles range. Clear of the burning danger I tried to catch my breath and blinked bright stars from my eyes while the wolf circled around me in concern.

"It's ok." I gasped, my limbs began to tingle with sensation as the numbness slowly dispersed. "I'm ok."

I doubted the Spirit fire would have made it through both my coat and the leather cuirass beneath it so my shoulders and back would be mostly unharmed. The back of my neck however wasn't as well protected. I couldn't feel any damage at the moment but that was the problem with Spirit fire, the initial numbness disguised how bad the injury actually is. Even the burn on my forearm was only just starting to make itself known with a deep radiating throb of heat and pain. God only knew how bad my neck was. Truthfully I was too scared to find out.

_What if I touched it to find all the skin had melted away and I felt bone? BONE!_

"It won't kill me," I reassured myself. "It's just going to sting like a bitch until I find Vivienne and ask her to heal me."

The wolf whined in sympathy.

I looked up at him with a forced smile firmly in place and struggled to my feet wincing in pain and cradling my hurt arm to my chest.

"Do you see how glorious _my_ Inquisition will be after you die at the hands of the Elder One?" Envys guttural projected voice boomed.

"Glorious is not the term I'd use." I muttered under my breath and stalked forward, glaring up at the ceiling as if the demon was watching me from above. I had a few other choice words and insults to throw Envy's way but decided against it. I was trying to ignore him after all.

We reached the door still blocked by the Spirit fire. As far as I could see there was no way to avoid the green flames and these two fearsome gargoyle heads did not appear to be shifting about like the others leaving no gaps to slip through. Unfortunately it looked like the only way forward was to simply rush through and suffer the burns in exchange for my freedom.

_Envy would make an excellent Jigsaw,_ I thought bitterly.

It was a cruel trap but if I approached it carefully I was certain I could avoid most of the fire, I just had to be quick and clever. As a plan started to form in my mind I couldn't suppress a small smug smirk from twisting my smile.

The demon was under estimating me.

I shrugged out of my heavy leather coat. The Spirit Fire was still likely to eat through patches of the material and it was a shame to allow something so beautifully made to be damaged but it was better the coat than my skin. Using the coat like a fire blanket I held it over head, making sure my head, neck shoulders and arms would be covered from above.

The wolf wined low in warning and barked, circling about my shins as if to stop me.

"Stop that," I told him firmly. "I know it's not perfect but this will work well enough. I've got to get through there somehow right? If I get burnt then I'll just have to deal with it. Better blistered than captured."

He made a low noise of disapproval but obediently stood back. Nodding my thanks I began to bounce on the soles of my feet again, preparing myself for the pain that was likely coming. I had just started my run up when suddenly a different voice spoke up, one I hadn't yet heard but somehow sounded oddly familiar with its soft and eerie tone.

"You're hurting helpless, hasty." It said. "What happens to the hammer when there are no more nails?"

My dash came to an abrupt and confused halt a foot from the flames.

_Hammer? What hammer?_

"What are you?! Get out! This is my place!" Envys echoing growl rumbled around the hall making the Spirit fire burn brighter and the ceiling seem to shake with the demons rage.

It didn't seem like Envy was addressing me so I looked back at the wolf questioningly.

"Was that you talking?"

He shook his head and looked toward an open door in the back corner of the hall I hadn't noticed before. Letting out a soft 'wuff' as he began to trot towards it.

Curious I lowered the coat and followed. We walked into the most trippy looking bedroom I'd ever seen outside a Tim Burton movie. There was a large double bed sitting against the back wall and open fireplace built into the left wall but there was where all normality stopped. Next to the fire place a large bone white tree was growing out of the stone wall, its branches twisting across the roof and over the top of the doorway. A tree growing inside of old buildings wasn't completely uncommon even if it was enchanting to look at. I'd seen a few in rundown buildings in the Hinterlands during our travels though none this big or so deathly pale in colour. However it was the tables, chairs, books and sea of discarded parchment sitting on the walls and roof defying gravity that were more than a little unsettling to look at and gave the room a bizarre sense of macabre.

Blinking in stunned wonder, unsure whether to be mesmerized or terrified an idea struck me.

"Beetlejuice," I muttered aloud. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!"

Nothing.

My shoulders a little sagged in disappointment. Not that I wanted any more drama in my life right now but a part of me had secretly hoped that would work.

Apart from the freakish decor there was nothing else of interest in the room so I went to leave until someone spoke up from inside.

"Wait."

I jumped eyes going wide and body seizing up.

_Holy shit it worked. I summoned Beetlejuice!_

Turning back around suspiciously I scanned the still empty room looking for the source of the voice and finding nothing. No ghouls in pinstriped suits, just a wolf sitting beside the bed in wait.

"Are you sure that's not you talking?" I asked the wolf.

He huffed in annoyance.

"Envy is hurting you. Mirrors on mirrors on memories. A face it can feel but not fake. I want to help. You not Envy." The voice declared, soft and eerie.

Even as I looked about unable to see the speaker the feeling of familiarity returned and I began to recall a young man crouching in front of me speaking in strange sentences, his voice soft and sad but kind.

"I know you, don't I?" I asked the voice as realization dawned on me. "You were in the courtyard with me. You gave me the duck handkerchief!"

_Oh my God how could I have just forgotten him?!_

It wasn't that long ago that I'd met the strange young man with the ridiculous hat and such a bizarre encounter should have been engraved in my memories. Yet even as I thought back on that short conversation the details of what was said and the person who had said it were already becoming fuzzy and unclear.

"I've been watching," he said. "I'm Cole. We're inside you, or I am. You're always inside you."

I turned about and finally came face to face with the young man, almost literally as he was hanging from the roof with his upside down face about a foot from mine. Taking a step back I examined the strange person closely. Wearing the same overly large floppy hat and worn patched leathers I was sure this was the same young man as before. Though now I could see his face I realised he could barely even be called a man. He couldn't be much older than seventeen or eighteen years old. He was thin and lanky. His face was narrow and gaunt with a full attractive mouth, long nose and large pale blue eyes that looked defeated and forever sad. With his pale translucent skin and shock of silvery blonde hair that hung limply down to his collar and over his eyes like a sheep dogs fringe he looked un-kept and undernourished. Just the sight of him made my heart clench with sympathy and I fought down the urge to hug him.

_He looked like a sad kicked puppy._

"It's easy to hear," he continued cryptically. "Harder to be a part of what your hearing. But I'm here. Hearing. Helping. I hope."

I smiled up at him.

"Hi... Cole, it's nice to meet you... again." I replied slowly giving him an awkward wave.

He seemed to smile shyly when I used his name.

"Envy hurt you. Is hurting you. I tried to help. Then I was here, in the hearing. It's... it's not usually like this." Cole said sounding almost apologetic.

"I'm a little confused. And you're... You're standing on the roof Cole." I pointed out dumbly, unable to keep up with his obscure rambling and feeling a little overwhelmed.

A strange grating shriek echoed out in the hall, a sound that conjured up images of giant insects and spiders in my mind. I swallowed hard and edged a little further from the door. When I turned back around Cole was no longer doing an impersonation of a bat and was instead sitting on the beds headboard.

"I was watching." Cole explained, a small frown appearing between his eyes as he concentrated on what to say. "I watch. Every Templar knew when you arrived. They were impressed. But not like the Lord Seeker."

"That's because Lord Seeker Lucius is an Envy demon," I offered. "And he seems to have chosen me as his next victim of identity theft."

"Yes," agreed the strange boy. "It twisted the Commanders, forced their fury. Their fight. They're red inside. Anyway, you're frozen. Envy is trying to take your face. I heard it and reached out, and then in. And then I was here."

"And here is... what? Inside my head?" I asked trying to piece together what Cole was telling me.

"In a way," he replied. "We are where you exist inside you. Your thoughts, but also feelings and memories. Hopes, wants, fears, desires, needs all mix together with what you're thinking. Everything that makes you Evie, mixing, mashing and making. It's complicated."

It sounded complicated but it made sense in an obscure kind of way. It certainly explained the strangeness of this place.

"So this is all inside my mind?" I queried looking about the peculiar room with new eyes.

_Huh... not what I expected._

"You're disappointed," Cole stated in his eerie soft voice.

"It's a little bit more dank and creepy than I thought my mind would be," I admitted with a shrug. "I thought, or maybe hoped the inside of my head would be a happier, brighter place."

"You thought there would be more naked men here," he added helpfully.

I choked, looking at the pale young man in horror as heat raced to my face.

"How do you-? What? I never- ok maybe once or twice but..."

_Ok... this was embarrassing_.

The wolf, who had been sitting my side this whole time, made a soft coughing noise that sounded remarkably like a laugh.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well what about you mister?" I said accusingly. "If this is my head how did you get in here?"

The wolf turned to look intently at Cole and the young man seemed to listen attentively for a moment before inclining that big hat back my way.

"He doesn't want me to say. He thinks it may frighten you."

I raised an eyebrow and looked down at the wolf, folding my arms across my chest as I did.

"Oh does he now?"

"He's right." Cole added softly. "You would be scared."

The comment made my heart skip a beat with cold fear and I bit my lip warily, wondering I f I needed to put some distance between myself and my furry companion. What could the wolf be hiding that would frighten me more than I already was? Was he dangerous?

Cole must have somehow sensed my unease, his pale eyes seeming to go impossibly wider with anxiety of his own as he began to quickly rectify the distrust his words had caused.

"No, he's not going to hurt you." He babbled insistently. "He wants to help you, protect you. But it's hard. Too far away, stretched too thin. A shadow pushed through a stone for support and comfort if nothing else. He wishes you could touch him too, he likes your fingers on his ears-"

The wolf gave a bark of warning making us both jump in surprise.

"Sorry," Cole hurriedly apologised to the wolf.

I stared between the two of them feeling very confused by the exchange.

"Alright..." I said slowly. "What about you Cole? People can't just fall into somebody's conscious or read their thoughts like you do. You're not some long suppressed childhood imaginary friend that's come back to existence to save me are you?"

_Because that would be both pathetic and freaky._

"I don't think so," the strange boy said thoughtfully.

That wasn't as reassuring as I'd like but I would take what I could get under the circumstances.

"But you're not a simple human either are you?" I asked softly, wanting answers but cautious of upsetting the odd boy with poorly chosen words. "People don't just accidently fall into someone else's mind and read that person thoughts and emotions. Honestly it's a little scary you can do that."

"If it bothers you I can make you forget," he said matter of fact. "That helps."

I shook my head quickly feeling my stomach clench unpleasantly.

"No! Don't do that please. I'm not afraid of you, you've helped me."

It was true. Even if he was a bit odd I didn't want to just forget about the poor boy again. He seemed so lonely to me. But I was also not very keen on having my memories tampered with again. I was already missing an important chunk of my time here in Thedas, I really couldn't afford to forget anything else of consequence.

Cole shook his head in agreement.

"You need all of you to fight," he said before adding a quiet. "Maybe later."

_That was less than comforting._

"You said I was frozen," I pointed out curiously. "But I don't feel frozen, I've been moving about like normal."

"Thoughts are fast," Cole explained. "We're here. Outside a blade is still falling, hanging in the air like a sunset."

"So super fast in here and super slow out there in the waking world," I summarized pinching my chin in thought and nodding along. "Makes sense I guess. If times basically frozen then I have all the time in the world to fight off Envy right? And my injuries aren't real, they didn't happen to my actually body because my body hasn't moved. I'm safe in here."

The wolf growled low in his chest and Coles floppy hat shifted back and forth.

"No. It would be good if you got out."

I looked between the two of them exasperated.

"And how the hell am I supposed to get out of my own head?!"

"You shouldn't," Cole said. "It's your head, you shouldn't be out of it."

"But you just-," I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, feeling a head ache coming on which was very strange. How does one even get a headache whilst inside their own head? "Never mind. If I can't get out then how do I boot everybody else out? No offense to you two but it's getting crowded in here."

Cole and the wolf seemed to share a look then the young man stood and walked lightly across the mattress to stand on the end of the bed.

"All this is Envy," he explained. "People, places, power. If you keep going Envy stretches. It takes strength to make more. Being one person is hard. Being many, too many, more and more, and Envy breaks down. You break out."

Cole jumped down from the bed and made his way over to the fireplace while I took in what he said.

"So the further I go, the more he has to create. Eventually he gets too tired and 'poof' I escape?"

"Maybe," he replied not sounding sure himself.

"Did the wolf tell you all this?" I asked curiously.

Cole tilted his head. "Not all, but some. He's very old and knows many things from before. He knows what things should be and I know what things are."

"And you came up with idea together?"

"I hope it helps. It's more than sitting here and waiting to lose your face."

I shuddered.

_Now there's a terrifying mental image._

Cole began to walk towards the door back out to the hall and the wolf began to follow.

"Wait!" I called out causing them both to stop and look back at me questioningly.

I looked down at the wolf.

"Seeing as we now have a translator available I thought I should ask if there's something I can call you by. I feel like you should have a name instead of just being 'the wolf' you know?"

The wolf just stared at me and blinked. I looked over to Cole hopefully but the strange boy also just stood there and starred.

"Well?" I prompted.

"He doesn't want me to tell you his name." Cole replied sheepishly looking torn.

I frowned down at my furry friend.

"If you're going to be so secretive then I'll just have to give you a new name," I warned smiling widely. "Like Blacky."

The wolf sighed.

"Fluffy?" I offered hopefully.

He glared. I giggled.

"I know, Wulfred!"

He made a noise of utter disgust and turned away shaking his shaggy head.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me Wulfred?!"

"Dread," Cole suddenly spoke up. "He wants you to call him Dread."

"Isn't that a little dramatic, you're not dreadful." I scoffed and followed the wolf as he made his way to the door.

"He thinks you're wrong but he likes that you see him like that," Cole murmured a small smile on the corner of his lips. "It makes him warm inside. Make him feel more than he is, more like what he was before-"

Dread gave another soft warning growl.

"Sorry," Cole apologised quickly and began to walk out the door. "He says we should go this way."

"Alright, lead the way oh mighty Fuzz Lord." I declared with a dramatic flourish.

The wolf stopped and slowly turned back around to glower at me.

I smiled sweetly.

"Still a better name than Dread."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe poor Evie doesn't know who she's teasing Lol.  
> Also big thank you for everyone sticking with this story. I know I'm taking longer between chapters but I still hope its worth the wait :)


	47. Inner Torment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's my head! You get out!"
> 
> Evie tries to keep herself sane while Envy pulls out some underhanded tricks to learn more about the Herald of Andraste and what scares her the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems I will be forever apologising for delayed chapters.  
> I'm sorry! But I do hope the chapter is worth the wait.   
> Warning, this chapter will stray a little bit from the usual path the game takes and its going to get a bit dark and angsty again, prepare for gore and emotions.  
> Aslo a very very big thank you to everyone still following. Your all so wonderfully patient.   
> I hope you all enjoy.

 

## Inner Torment ##

 

 

 

It occurred to me as we walked out of the topsy turvy bedroom just how bizarre this situation was. I was about to go traipsing through my own mind with a large scary ass wolf with no physical form and a very peculiar young man in a ridiculous hat who may or may not be some suppressed imaginary friend, spoke in riddles and could expose my very private thoughts to anyone around. And we were doing all this to evict a demon with self identity issues out of my head before he stole my image and took over Thedas with his jolly old chum The Elder One.

_My life had become all sorts of strange_.

Our weird trio trooped back into the hall of Spirit Fire, Cole leading the way towards the end door still barred by fountains of green flame.

"It's this way" The strange boy said raising one hand and pointing at the door barricaded by the Spirit Fire. His soft voice was barely audible of the dull roar of the churning flames.

"Of course it is," I sighed tiredly and began to shrug out of my coat yet again, planning on recommencing my earlier interrupted plan.

Dread gave a loud bark and shook his shaggy head at me.

"Well if you have a better plan I'd love to hear it," I quipped in annoyance then sighed ruefully and looked down at the wolf apologetically. "Sorry, that was rude."

I was getting tired of Envy's trials and games and just wanted to be free of this place, but that didn't excuse me taking it out on the beings trying to help me.

"Ideas are loud here, make them louder." Cole ordered softly, his large pale eyes looking up at the flames. "Think of water."

"Think of water?" I repeated slowly, wondering if this was the strange boys advice or if he was translating for Dread. Either way it was an odd directive.

"Yes," he replied simply.

I shrugged. It didn't hurt to try.

"Alright, water." I muttered, closing my eyes and concentrating. "Water, water, water."

I began to picture a glass of water in my head, sitting on a kitchen bench still and unassuming then decided a glass wasn't enough. The glass turned into a bucket of water, then a bath, then a paddling pool. But it still didn't feel enough, the water wasn't doing anything. It was unmoving and contained, useless against wild and hungry fire. So instead the pool became a slow running river in the Hinterlands, its current flowing past one of the Inquisitions many camps and making its way through to the Storm Coast. The heavy rains that had saturated me and my companions during our visit there added to its volume, turning the river into churning rapids hurtling towards a cliff edge and racing to join the Waking Sea.

The sound of rushing water filled the hall along with the hiss of flames being extinguished. I could feel a soft spray brushing against my skin and taste the sudden tang of salt water in the air. Opening my eyes in surprise I found the Spirit Fire gone, replaced by powerful torrents spilling cool water onto the slate floor.

I let out a short surprised huff of laughter and took few cautious steps forward, stunned that a simple thought had cleared the way forward.

"Talk about mind over matter." I mumbled reaching out and letting the cold water splash over my open palm. "It's almost like I did magic."

Actually it felt more like I was controlling a dream in my sleep. It was hard and not always possible but this was my mind before Envy had invaded it and I could still steer it just enough to change things and make way through. I suspected I'd been doing something similar already without realising. When I'd needed a weapon my staff had appeared and when I had needed light I got it, granted it was in the form of a bunch of burning corpses but it was still light. When I'd needed guidance Dread had came along, showing me the way forwards and giving me a reason to keep moving. In a way it was rather comforting, Envy may have control over this part of my head but it was still mine. I still had power here.

I wondered briefly what else my mind could conjure.

_Next time I was thinking of a giant jar of Nutella!_

There was a rumble in the distance, a growl of frustration echoing out from the very walls.

"That _thing_ can't help you. I will see more!" Envy's disembodied voice roared.

"He already has helped," I pointed out defensively. "And he's not a thing! Cole is.... he is...."

I turned around in search of the strange young man for some kind of clarification of what he was only to find the place where he'd been standing was empty.

"He's gone," I finished with a sigh and turned to Dread. "Did you see where he went?"

He hunched his shoulders in a wolfish shrug, and gestured towards the open door with his nose.

"Yeah, ok," I said with one last look around for the boy. "I'm sure he'll reappear again."

After all Cole did say we had to hurry and he seemed to know his way around, which was very unnerving when I thought about it seeing as this was supposed to be my head and not his own. I very much doubted this would be the last I saw of Cole.

Even so I couldn't help but feel a little worried for him as Dread and I ducked through the salty waterfall my thoughts had conjured and into the next room.

Again we entered are large hall thick with dense fog and lined with the cold metal of cell doors. The War Table was back, this time a Cassandra copy stood with her arms folded across from the stern image of Chancellor Roderick in his pristine white and red Chantry robes. The sight of the holy man had me scowling in pre-emptive anger even though I knew deep down it wasn't the real Roderick. It didn't help matters that a copy of my own body was flung across the sturdy table, pinned to the wooden surface by a sword that protruded from her chest. A large puddle of blood had seeped out from the body, staining the maps and congealing around the markers. Her mouth was open in a silent scream of pain and her dead eyes glowed with green Fade light.

I swallowed dryly.

_Charming._

Envy's cold echoing voice sounded out once more like an unwanted voiceover.

"Betrayed allies with curse your name. Like the first Inquisition, you will bring blood and ruin and fear!"

My stomach churned unpleasantly at the prospect.

"Unless you don't," Coles eerie disagreed from nowhere making me jump. "You don't have to. None of this is real unless you let it be."

"Damn it Cole!" I fumed, looking about for the unusual boy but finding nothing but Envys copies still standing lifelessly around the War Table and my wolf sitting at my flank. "You startled me. Where the heck did you go?"

"Get out thing! I am learning!" Envy's voice lashed out angrily.

"It's _my_ head! You get out!" I yelled back at the demon.

Dread gave a supportive growl from my side but neither my brave words or my furry friends fierceness seemed to sway Envy. It just laughed horribly, making my skin crawl before falling silent again.

"Asshole," I muttered under my breath turning my attention back to Envy's little puppet show.

"The girl failed Seeker," Roderick was saying, mimicking the exact words I'd over heard the real man say the day I'd joined the Inquisition. "The Breach is still in the sky. For all you know she intended it that way."

It was likely an attempt to bring up my past feelings of failure and uselessness. However now that I knew exactly what the demon was after it was easier to push those feeling aside in favour of thinking unfavourable thoughts about the creature bringing up such awful memories.

_Stupid demon. Trying to manipulate me, making me listen to stupid Roderick and his stupid jerk faced opinions...._

I decided to just walk past them, the less attention I paid to these little scenes Envy put on the less the demon could learn from my reactions. With my great hulking beast of a wolf by my side I held my head up high and stalked past the display to the next door. Flinging it open with more force than probably necessary and almost walking straight into the back of another white and red robed figure.

Mother Gisele stood proud and unyielding before a green eyed version of myself flanked by two large Inquisitions soldiers. Her withered face looked older and more tired than the last time I'd seen her and her eyes were hard with distain as she stared down my copy.

"What do you say to your crimes heretic?!" The false Herald spat, its voice a distorted mockery of my own.

"This is a farce," Gisele replied. "I demand justice!"

"Have it," my copy sneered and gestured to the soldiers. "Take her to the gallows."

I felt my eyes brows creep up under my fringe.

"Scared of a little old Chantry Mother Demon?"

"Any who challenge the will of Andrastes Herald will be corrected," the copy replied.

"Riiiight," I said slowly, walking passed the scene and shaking my head incredulously. "Because that's sure to not have any adverse repercussions on you at all."

I wondered if Demons understood the concept of sarcasm.

Continuing down the corridor I choose to ignore the rows of cells lining the walls, each with a different face behind the cold iron bars. I pretended not to hear the sobs of a distraught soldier or the demands of an audience with the evil Herald of Andraste by an imprisoned Gisele. Eventually I came to the end of the corridor where a single wooden door stood next to cell in which a bedraggled version of the Inquisitions Ambassador wept, begging for explanation to her current plight. Even though it was an illusion I found it exceedingly hard not to turn to my friend and give her comfort. But this was not really Josephine and the sooner I escaped from Envys grip the sooner I could reassure myself by seeing my real friends.

Except when I tried the door it rattled but would not budge. Locked or maybe barred from the other side.

I felt a small smile tug the corners of my mouth.

"Mind over matter," I murmured.

Closing my eyes I rested my hands on the unyielding surface of the door. Water wasn't going to wash away this barrier like the last so I had to think of something else. A key would be nice and simple but I found it hard to believe that just any old key my mind could produce would do the trick. I could try burning the door down but I held no confidence that the flames wouldn't get out of hand and I was already burnt enough as it was.

_So what else is wood weak against?_

I thought of bugs, hundreds and thousands and millions of them. Bigger than ants with bulging bulbous bodies the colour of week old milk. Termites! Their heads were large and their pincers even bigger and they were hungry. So very hungry. My army of insects attacked the wood of the door in a famished frenzy, eating away at the structure bit by bit until little holes began to appear and piles of fine dust gathered on the floor. I stood back watching my handy work as chunks of the door began to cave in on itself.

"Open sesame!" I declared proudly when the whole thing collapsed into a messy pile of saw dust at my feet, opening the way forward to a narrow set of stairs.

Dread sneezed but gave a soft congratulatory wuff, like he was mildly impressed but was sure he could have done better.

Envys voice growled from the walls.

"I haven't seen enough!" he rasped.

"Awww, that's too bad," I chirped happily and skipped over the pile of saw dust and wood chippings still teeming with creepy crawlies.

_Suck it Envy!_

Laughing merrily to myself I practically pranced up the steps with Dread at my heels. We reached the top and stepped out of the stairwell and I came to a sudden stop.

"Holy... Nature?"

It was the same cell lined hall that seemed to be repeated in most of the other rooms but this time it was hard to discern whether it was inside or outside. It looked like a forest had been growing here for decades, thick trunked trees with dying branches that reached into the ceiling like gnarled fingers. The tree roots twisted up out of the floor and wound their way around the room in a thick tangle. And there were corpses, dozens of them, hanging from the tree boughs like grotesque piñatas.

"Envy you need to fire your interior decorator," I muttered.

_Or maybe the gardener._

Two men in armour stood crouched among the roots talking in urgent hushed tones. I tried to ignore them as I scrambled clumsily over one of the large roots but their conversation caught my attention.

"The Chevaliers could not stop them?" Asked one, his accent clearly Orlessian.

"There were not enough of them boy!" snapped the other. "Val Royeaux is burning! The Herald marches here next, bringing even more demons."

"Why target Orlias?" I queried aloud, brows drawing into a tight frown of puzzlement. "And where am I supposed to get demons from?"

_Demons couldn't summon more demons, could they?_

"So you're curious," Envys voice said, changing infliction as it spoke into something more feminine and familiar. "Shall I make use of that when I'm you?"

There was a small bubble of green fog from one of the nearby tree trunks and out sauntered my evil twin, eyes a little less glowy but still very green. I clenched my staff tightly and looked her over carefully. I couldn't put my finger on what it was exactly but Envys copy was looking more defined somehow. Her posturing while more confident than my own still mimicked my body language and stance. The way she looked up at me through her lashes with her face tilted downwards shyly was a trait of mine that I'd never really been able to completely shake despite my Grandmothers lecturing. While still not perfect she looked more real.... more like me.

It really was learning.

_Not good._

"You're letting the Herald see more to sketch her shape. But what she sees makes her stronger." Cole said appearing perched on tree root a few feet away, swinging his legs where they hung in a very childlike manor.

"Quiet!" The demon snarled.

She stepped towards the young boy with aggressive purpose but I was quick to place myself between them, raising my staff so its orb was level with my copies throat. Coles words making me feel bold.

_I am stronger so back off bitch!_

"You think I'm going to just let you do this?" I asked. "Everything you've been showing me is just giving me more and more reason to make sure you fail."

"Good," she encouraged. "I want you to fight. Humans are at their most honest when they are at their lowest. The more you struggle the more I learn."

"You know this is pointless right?" I argued vehemently. "Nobody is going to believe you're me!"

"They will."

I swung my staff out gesturing towards the corpses hanging from trees.

"No. I wouldn't do something like that. Ever! All this evil crap you're planning to do while looking like me is just going to give yourself away. People will notice I'm acting out of character. They'll know it's not me and they will cut you down. You're wasting your time Envy. Give up."

"People change," My copy said, eyes suddenly glowing bright and mouth twisting into a sadistic smile. The thought that my own face could ever look so sinister was beyond unnerving.

"Not that much. Not me." I responded stubbornly.

"Yes we would," The copy purred. "I just have to find out what it would take to turn our heart cold."

"Our?" I repeated, picking up on the abrupt change in grammar and glowering at my own face. "Don't delude yourself Envy. You're not me. You'll never be me. The best you could hope for is some second rate illusion with my face."

Envy glared back at me, lips peeling back into an angry snarl. There was a flash and suddenly the trees and bodies all disappeared. The room fell into complete darkness. Dread let out a low rumble of caution as I took half a step back and raised my staff warily, scanning the darkness and fog for whatever it was the demon had planned next.

"What if I were betrayed?" Envy asked still using its twisted version of my voice, though I couldn't see where it was speaking from. "Would I become harder? Less trusting?"

A figure began to materialise in the distance, tall and elegant with heels that clicked on the slate floors as she sashayed forwards.

"Vivienne?" I asked softly, squinting into the fog.

The First Enchanter raised a stylish hand and promptly launched a four foot shard of ice straight towards my heart. With a startled cry I threw myself to the side to avoid the deadly projectile only to look back up as another figure came into view, looming over me like a great muscled mountain adorned with horns. The Iron Bulls pale green eye was empty and emotionless as he bought his great axe down towards my skull. Gritting my teeth I caught the strike on my staff and twisted, using the momentum of his attack to send the Qunari careening off to the side. As he regained his balance I slipped around behind his great bulk, narrowly avoiding one of his meaty fists when he twisted back to grab at me.

_It's not really Bull_ , I told myself firmly as I swung my staff at the back of thick grey neck. _You're not actually attacking your friend. He's not trying to kill you, Envy is!_

The fake Bull vanished in a flash just as my staff would have connected with his neck. I looked up angrily, wanting to defend my companions' loyalty but finding I couldn't. Bull was devoted to the Qun and Vivienne was only ever looking out for her own interest, there was no guarantee that either of them or anyone else for that matter would never turn on me. With slivers of doubt creeping up my spine I looked back down at my hands clenched tightly around my staff.

"You think your showing me something new?" I said softly. "That I haven't worried this exact thing might happen. It hasn't changed me yet Envy and it isn't going to."

Dread whined softly at my side, looking up at me with ruby eyes full of pity and sorrow.

"It's ok," I reassured with a small empty smile. "I'd rather put my faith in people and be hurt a hundred thousand times over, than live a cold life of paranoia and hate. Most people are worth the pain. I figured that out ages ago with some help. In saying that I don't much like the idea of seeing my friends turn on me again. You wouldn't be able to lead the way would you? I think I've gotten a bit turned around."

The wolf gave me one last look of pained sympathy then began to walk forward. I followed his fluffy tail into the fog, trying to push down the feelings of doubt trying to resurface.

_This is exactly what Envy wants. Don't fall for it!_

We had only walked a few metres when the wolf stopped and growled out a harsh warning, baring his hackles and bowing down low.

"What is it?"

Even as I spoke I began to smell something rusty, metallic and cloying in the air. My stomach churned with trepidation at the familiar scent and the fog began to thin, slowly revealing a scene right out of a horror movie.

There was a hand, bloodied and broken reaching out for an all too familiar crossbow laying just out of reach. My eyes followed the appendage up to the attached stocky body sprawled on its front, head twisted to an impossible angle with blood trickling slowly from his mouth and nose, his kind warm hazel eyes half open and clouded with death.

My throat felt tight and I let out a soft unwilling sob.

"It's not real," I croaked to myself. "That's not Varric."

"Would grief change us? Would the loss of someone we hold dear make us break?" Envy whispered in my voice.

The sound of broken, heart wrenching cries began to echo out further down the corridor and the rest of the fog dispersed, clearing the horrific scene so not one pool of blood or mangled limb was hidden. Varrics was not the only body in the cramped corridor. No he was just the first of many. In fact from the number of dead piled and laid out for my eyes I doubted anyone I knew I had escaped Envy's torment.

Blackwall and Vivienne were slumped against a wall next to a heap of limbs and bloody Inquisition uniforms, they had been impaled by the same spear. Across from them atop another stack of corpses lay a man's body, burnt beyond recognition if it weren't for the distinguishing red furred mantle it wore.

_Oh God no... Cullen._

Almost against my will I kept walking, searching the massacre for each and every one of my friends grisly fates as tears burned the corners of my eyes. Dread was circling close to my shins whining and nudging to try and gain my attention but it was a useless endeavour. I was entranced, horrified and hurting but unable to pull myself away.

_Who else had they harmed? Who else had been taken from me?_

I found Josephine's body, golden ruffles stained impossibly red and her face frozen in terror. I found Cassandra, twisted and bent with every bone in their bodies broken. The slim frail body of Sera was hanging limply from a noose tied somewhere out of sight, large elven eyes bulging from her skull. Beneath her lay Bull, his massive body pierced by scores and scores of arrows. Leliana was decaying in a hanging cage further down the corridor, her beloved birds pecking at what flesh they could reach. Every face I'd ever met in Thedas seemed to be there, buried among the dead. Krem, Dalish, Skinner, Harding, Dorian, Adan, Jim, Flissa, Felix, Kade and his pregnant Rosie. Cut, burnt, bloody, mangled and broken beyond repair.

"It's not real. It's not real. It's not real." I chanted feeling my resolve begin to fray.

And at the end of the corridor my copy sat, sobbing softly and cradling the pale lifeless body of an elven Mage, his proud face slack, his throat slit from ear to pointed ear. She looked up, face streaked with tears of anguish, green Fade eyes bright with pain as she took a few great shuddering breaths.

Then she screamed the sound thick with heart break and devastation before turning into something darker. Within the moment of a single heat beat her pain had turned to anger and then unbridled rage. Green flames burst forth from the girl, engulfing everything around her but leaving her untouched as the whole world began to burn around her. And all the while she continued to scream with fury. The air became thick with smoke and the smell of burning flesh.

And then it stopped, the flames bursting bright then disappearing all together.

I stood breathing heavily, my whole body shaking as the smoke thinned back out into fog and the hall became quite one more.

_God have mercy....._

Was this what Envy would do? Organise the betrayal or deaths of people close to me in order to make my sudden change in behaviour believable. To justify its own cruelty? It was horrible, but even worse than that it was entirely possible. Just the memory of my friends cold bloody lifeless bodies had the blood racing in my head. I knew it was purely an illusion and yet I wanted to destroy Envy in various increasingly painful ways for even thinking of harming my companions.

And that scared me.

_Get out! I had to get out it was the only way to stop this. I couldn't let this happen._

Dread whined and pawed uselessly at my thigh to gain my attention, his large paw going right through my leg. God only knew how long he'd been doing that.

"Which way?" I rasped thickly.

He whined again but turned and gestured to head back the way we'd come, seemingly in as much of a hurry as I.

Wordlessly I nodded my thanks and began to walk the way the wolf had indicated.

A torch flickered to life a short distance to my left illuminating a bold gold wrought frame of what appeared to be the biggest mirror I'd ever seen. While I wanted to disregard everything the demon chose to show me I couldn't help but examine the structure suspiciously. It stood almost three metres tall and almost a metre wide. The mirror looked old, the glass spotted and stained with age. For a moment a stared distrustfully at my own reflection, paying close attention to the sapphire blue eyes to make sure it was indeed me I was seeing and not another copy. The eyes were right but there was something else peculiar about the Evie in the mirror. Her nose wasn't as long and her mouth was too wide with lips a little too thin to be my own. And her colouring was also off, hair a much paler shade of blonde and skin a tone or two darker, lacking the freckles that marred my own.

I froze. A golf ball sized lump grew in my throat and tears began to slide down my cheeks unchecked.

_Please no. Not this. Not her._

It had been so long since I'd seen her face. I'd almost forgotten how much I looked like my Mum.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Evie. I put her through so much awfulness and there is so much more to come.


	48. Torture... Or Truth?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know what happened to me don't you? You know how I got here!"
> 
> Face to face with the images of her old life and the possibility of some long desired answers Evies composure snaps... And Envy takes advantage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long wait.  
> This chapters has actually been finished for a while but I had wanted to make it longer to get more of this arc completed, however writers block kicked in along with some crazy busy real life and I've struggled to get much further than what's here. So I finally figured screw it! At least put something up so whatever readers you have left know the story is not dead yet.  
> So here it is. I hope you guys enjoy :)

 

** ## Torture... Or Truth ## **

 

 

"Evelyn?" Heather Treval said looking back at me through the mirror. "Evie baby is that really you?"

A broken noise of distress escaped my throat and I quickly slapped a hand over my mouth. Shaking my head and backing up.

"Sweet Pea?"

Turning around in panic I found a second mirror this one holding the frantic image of my Dad, tall and broad and, like a lot of men his age, carrying a little more weight around his middle than he should. His curly chestnut hair was thinning and sticking up in places. His grey eyes sharp and intelligent behind his glasses were hard with frustration and anxious fear, a look only a concerned farther could pull off. He had his big calloused hands pressed against the glass.

"Where are you Evie?" He demanded, face getting more frantic as he realised he couldn't get through. "How did you even- It doesn't matter. Come home where you belong."

"I-I can't," I croaked hoarsely.

"Of course you can," my farther replied. "Just come back Evie."

"Please baby, we miss you." my mother begged coming into the frame besides him. "Whatever it was that drove you away we can fix it. Please!"

Other figures began to step forward into the mirror, my brothers Jarred and Luke, my remaining Grandparents, Angela and the rest of my cousin, aunts and uncles and friends from home... The mirror kept getting wider and wider to accommodate them all, forcing me to step back to see them, my eyes flicking feverishly from one face to the next.

My stomach was heavy like I been drinking cement as I stared in absolute horror at my family and friends. Not just out of sheer guilt at their words but because of the cold feeling of blood curdling fear and dread creeping up my spine.

The clothes they wore, shirts, skirts, track pants, jeans.... Luke even had headphones around his neck attached to the phone sticking out of his pocket. Modern dress and items that no one from this place would recognise or imagine, clear as day, like a flashing neon light advertising their other worldly-ness. Which meant...

_It knew. Oh God it knew about my family. It knew about Earth._

"How?" I whimpered aloud.

Envys laugh echoes around my head, disembodied and cold.

"I know more than you could imagine Herald. More than you know or have ever known. More than you've forgotten and more than you've had taken away. I have knowledge no mere human can comprehend, existing trapped in the in-between of worlds for hundreds of years, brushing against reality but never being able to actually _live_. You cannot even begin to imagine the frustration, the longing my kind endure. This world is closer and clearer to us but yours..... Your strange home of metal and wires is very, very far away. A distant memory of a dream, of a thought even to us who can sense it. But here in your head it's clearer. Such an interesting twist to our tale."

My breath quickened and I began to look around desperately for a sign of the demon I was speaking to. Envy knew of my world. Not only that but the monster seemed to be implying that they had access to my lost memories. It was possible Envy knew how I came to be here.

_Which meant they may be the key to finding my way back._

"You know what happened to me don't you?" I accused urgently. "You know how I got here!"

"It doesn't matter how. You're here now, as unexpected as it may be." Envy answered from the shadows. "Your kind closed themselves off to possibility a long time ago Evie Treval, you came here through sheer luck and the power of another. You don't belong. But you will never go back."

I shook my head harder, squeezing my eyes shut as my family and friends began to call out again, banging on the glass.

"Evie!"

"Evie please!"

"Come home!"

"Evie..."

"Evelyn!"

"You can't just leave us!"

"Why won't you come back Evie?"

"You're breaking our hearts!"

My copy appeared at my side looking sadly at the wall of distressed people trapped on the other side of the mirror.

"We love them don't we?" Envy asked "Your family from your distant world."

"I love them!" I spat turning my livid gaze the demons way. "Me. Not you. Don't you dare threaten them too you piece of shit!"

"I don't need to," the demon hummed idly. "You've already lost them."

"You're lying" I seethed. "There is no way you can know that, you're just trying to play off the fears you found in my head."

"They will never get over our disappearance." She continued, tears sliding down her own cheeks. "They will carry it with them as they age and die without us. We will never see our brothers get married and have kids. Mum will never get to hold our children and be their Nanna. We have lost them, not even given a chance to say goodbye. And that loss will fester and putrefy. Being here kept us from them, being needed by these people kept me away from where _I_ belonged. Why should they be happy when I suffer? Why should this world thrive while I rot from the inside?!"

"SHUT UP!"

Anger burned bright and hot in my chest as I turned about and lunged at the demon. Furious that it would claim my loved one as its own, that it would twist my love and loss into something it could use to hurt others. It was foul, putrid, evil and I was going to stop it. I was going to put it down and I would make it suffer.

Before my staff could make contact the copy smiled victoriously and vanished in a bright flash of light. I fell right through where it had stood and landed sprawled out on the cold hard floor.

"Say goodbye to our family Herald," my own voice whispered from the dark once more. "It will be the last you ever see of them."

My throat felt tight and I looked back towards the mirror in panic. The worried and pained faces of my family stared back, their own cries becoming more distressed as their image became smaller and smaller while the mirror began moving further and further away.

"No," I choked out staggering to my feet. "No! Wait! WAIT!"

I ran after it, desperate to keep my family in sight for as long as possible. It didn't matter if they were an illusion, it didn't matter that they weren't real. The thought that this could be the last time I ever saw my parents' faces was something I just couldn't accept. As I ran they screamed for me, urging me on, begging me to be with them. And just as I reached them, just as my fingers grazed the cold surface of the mirror on the other side of where my mum's hand rested...

It shattered.

"NO!"

I fell against a simple stone wall that replaced the cold surface of the mirror, my hands gripping and clawing at the stone frantically as if I could somehow bring the mirror back.

"No!" I yelled once more, slamming my fist against the stone. "No! Come back! Envy bring them back! Please..."

I choked. My vision, blurred with tears as I slowly sunk down to kneel on the floor, my forehead coming to rest on the wall as great heaving gasps wracked my frame. My hands curled into tight fists as I fought to keep myself from flying apart.

It hurt, an actual physical pain like my heart had just been torn from my chest. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. The vision of my loved ones faces twisted with heartbreak spinning around my head in a never ending loop. The worst part was that I was torn between wanting to banish the images from my mind for the cruel farce it was and wanting to cherish them.

_What if that was the last time I'd ever see them? My last chance to memorise their faces and voices before I began to forget again. What if Envy was telling the truth?_

Dread began to whine softly by my side, then lifted his head and howled mournfully as if the wolf was crying for me. I found myself reaching out for the reassuring feel of the wolfs fluffy coat beneath my fingers, for the warmth of another living creature only have that comfort denied when my hand once again passed straight through him.

Then another figure shuffled lightly to my other side and knelt down. A long fingered pale hand came into view under my chin holding out a yellow handkerchief lined with happy little duckies. Cole, offering the only comfort he could provide; something to cry into.

I stared despondently at the scrap of material, unable to take it. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want it to hurt any more. I wanted it to not be real, for this whole ordeal to have never happened.

"It's not true." I whispered desperately. "Please tell me it's not true."

"It's not true?" Cole repeated without hesitation but with a small hint of confusion.

I almost laughed.

"Are you only saying that because I told you to?"

"Yes" Cole admitted. "Saying otherwise will cause you pain."

"But is it true?" I hesitantly asked, fearful of the answer.

He paused for what seemed like an age before replying.

"I don't know."

I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes, lowering myself to sit and turning around so my back was resting against the wall and my knees were tucked up to my chin. I suspected that even if the strange boy knew the truth he would be too afraid to divulge it in my current state. Envys last little performance had gotten to me, there was no denying that. I was shaken. My family had once again been torn from me. It was like a chronic wound that had been left alone to fester beneath a scab, one I'd grown used to until someone else had ripped it back open and revealed just how deep it went. The devastation I felt was suffocating.

But more than that I was ashamed of myself and how I'd let the demon get under my skin. I knew what it was doing yet I couldn't do anything about it, I'd reacted exactly how it had wanted me to.

Maybe it was time to face the truth; I was no match against Envy. I couldn't win so maybe I should save myself anymore torment and give up.

The others were smart, they'd figure out the creature with my face wasn't me. And if they didn't I was sure the moment the new Evie did something that would put the Inquisition in a bad light Leliana would have her assassinated.

_And I'd probably be dead. Dead but no longer a liability...._

Dread let out a sharp reprimanding bark as if he could read my thoughts. When I still refused to look up the bark turned into a ground trembling growl.

"What do you want me to do?" I croaked my throat feeling like it was lined with sand paper and had shrunk to the size of a straw.

"He wants you to fight back. You're letting Envy win," Cole said softly.

"So what if I am?" I snapped back glaring at the wolf. "Did you see what just happened? It got me! _She_ got me! She lured me right in and I took the bait just like Envy wanted. I'm not strong enough for this, I never have been. No matter how hard I tried to remain indifferent and calm it wasn't enough. Envy knows exactly what to say and do to get a reaction out of me."

"You need to keep going up. You're more you there than you are Envy and that tires her out."

"What's the point?! She's already won."

"No not yet," Cole mumbled. "Envy is shaping, shifting but not right, not real, not you. Not yet. Right now you are scared and alone, grieving and tortured. But this isn't the _you_ , you could be. You are better, brighter. There is a light it can't mimic so she means to turn you dark, but that isn't you. She is close but she's not you yet."

"Then she'll learn soon enough," I muttered. "Let's face it I'm no match for this demon. I'm too stupid and emotional not to fall for its tricks and taunts. God, even in my own head I'm a pathetic failure-"

I was interrupted by another furious growl and Dreads snarling jaw snapped shut mere inches from my nose causing me to push myself further back into the wall and stare at the great beast in wide eyed fear. His red eyes glared viciously into mine before he turned with a dismissive low rumble and stalked away.

I stared after him, mouth agape and heart thudding against my rib cage.

_Holy shit balls!_

"He's angry with you." Cole supplied helpfully.

"No kidding." I breathed watching as the wolf turned and gracefully sat a few metres across from where I sat.

"He doesn't like when you do that, when you give up and hate yourself. Doesn't understand why you turn virtues into flaws. It frustrates him."

"Yeah well my virtues just handed Envy yet another piece of information the demon can use to hurt the people I care about and destroy this whole friggin' world." I muttered bitterly. "Better yet! I've put my own world in danger too because now Envy's been in my head it knows where I come from and it can take that little juicy bit of gossip back to its boss. If the Inquisition wasn't already doomed it certainly is now. And it's all my fault."

Dread barked again and shook his shaggy head.

"It's true!" I argued. "I keep fooling myself that I can do this... this Herald thing, that I can actually help people when I can't. I'm too weak and useless. I just make things worse."

"You're doing it wrong," Cole murmured a thoughtful frown creasing his brow beneath his absurd hat. "Hurting, hating but it feels wrong to project it out. Fury is fearful, overwhelming, consuming, a storm without an end if you let it loose so you keep it caged. You're turning your anger inside instead of out but it's not you you should be mad at. Envy is doing this. Not you. You're allowed to be mad. You're allowed to push it out."

I shook my head vehemently. Things said and done in rage very rarely led to anything good and it was all too easy to allow anger to drown out reason and judgement. Since arriving in this world I'd been finding myself falling victim to this over and over again. Taking out my frustration in combat with demons, mouthing off at Volkard when I knew the man could kill me easily, even getting so furious that I actually hit someone without even realising it! While du Rouche deserved everything he got and more that wasn't the person I wanted to be. I didn't want to be someone who automatically turned to violence to solve her problems. I didn't want to hate. Yet bit by bit I was already changing and that terrified me. It felt like the more I let my anger out the more of myself I lost. If I kept this up I feared that This Elder One wouldn't need Envy to turn the Herald of Andraste into a monster, I'd be doing it for him.

"You don't need to be afraid," Cole said softly his voice barely louder than a whisper. "It's not going to consume you... you won't let it, as long as you don't forget. You can use instead of being used."

_Use it? How did I use anger without losing control of it?_

A thought struck me.

_I didn't have to be consumed by anger.... but maybe I should be._

A smile began to spread across my face but I was quick to halt it and steel my expression as best I could, conscious that we likely had an audience. Forcing the slowing budding feelings of hope back down as a plan began to form in my mind.

Coles expression turned puzzled. "That's not really what I meant..."

I stood up carefully and dusted myself off. I took a moment to wipe my checks free of any tears that may have escaped and reached up to pull the leather tie from my braid, most of my hair had already come loose anyway but it was a way to keep my hands from shaking with nerves at what I was about to attempt. Combing my fingers through the tangled strands I slowly composed myself.

"But you're right." I said coldly, gathering my hair into a practical and tight bun at the base of my neck. "I should be angry. This is all Envy's fault. All this pain... shouldn't she suffer for it? Shouldn't I end her before she can do this to anyone else? Don't I deserve some retribution for what she's put me through?"

Cole shifted uncomfortably and frowned while Dread edged cautiously closer, a concerned whine escaping his fluffy chest.

"Your inside isn't matching your outside," The strange boy muttered quickly under his breath like he was trying to work out a particularly hard riddle. "Hopeful and nervous, not cold and hateful. A farce, a face that's not your own, a stage with no lights and only one person in the audience... oh."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at my odd companion but did give him a stern look to try and keep him from giving away my intentions.

_Clearly he'd never heard of acting before._

Not that I'd ever been very good at that particular art form, acting was after all a person projecting out one big lie and hoping it was good enough that others could believe they were someone else for a while. And I'd never been the best lair... or public speaker for that matter. I'd get too nervous hoping I was good enough not to ruin everyone else's fun and trip over my lines. But this was like a private performance meant for one person alone. And it wasn't meant to entertain but to trick.

_After all Envy wanted to turn the Herald of Andraste into a cold hearted bitch, well she was going to get her wish._

Let her think that I'd snapped, that under so much stress I would let myself turn into that monster. That way the person they would be learning to copy wasn't actually me. And while I pretended to hunt down the demon I would be actually be pushing my way out of this hell hole.

_Hide behind the anger and pain, use it like a wall, a shield, an illusion to conceal my true self behind. I didn't have to be strong or resilient if I could be clever and outsmart the threat._

It was a flimsy plan but what choice did I have? Envy already knew too much about me, there was no way I could continue on unless it was as someone else.

I looked around, peering into the dark endless corridor ahead of me. " _Go up"_ Cole had said. Easier said than done when Envy was controlling the landscape. But running around the demons maze just wasn't going to do anymore.

So I was going to break it.

 _Just channel your inner Cassandra,_ I told myself turning to face the blank stone wall _. Be grouchy and tough._

And angry, _really fucking_ angry.

"No more running," I muttered darkly and held my hands out towards the cold stone. "I'm taking back my head...."

Focusing on the small cracks in the old crumbling mortar I began imagine just as I had done earlier with the water and termites. I was strong, stronger than Cassandra or even Bull. So strong that even stone couldn't withstand my very thoughts. I pushed my hands apart, arms shaking with the strain. Unlike with the other obstacles I had willed away this one was resisting, not unlike the feeling I had when trying to close a particularly stubborn Rift. I could almost sense Envy's presence pushing back against my thoughts, trying to stop me. But despite her efforts the cracks in the mortar between the stone bricks began to widen, began to part. Free of the substance that kept them trapped the stone began to twist and move to the side and folding in on each other. And bit by bit an archway began to take shape where a wall once stood blocking my way forward, the excess bricks and stones moving to shape themselves into a wide staircase beyond it. Soon my newly made exit was before me, sloping upwards and out of sight but from its foot I could already see the promise of daylight at its end.

My heart stuttered hopefully in my chest and I slowly began to stalk forward, keeping my face carefully set into a fierce scowl of twisted distaste. For the last time I pushed down my feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. They weren't going to be needed where ever it was these stairs led. My shoulders were set, my resolve firm with my staff in hand and my wolf at my heels. And with one last calming breath I filled my lungs then yelled challengingly into the emptiness before me.

"You had better run Envy." I declared, stepping onto the first step. "Because I'm coming for you, you face stealing bitch!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :) I love hearing from you all.  
> And thank you for waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> So... What did you think?  
> leave Kudos and Comments to let me know


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